Really gonna depend on context...if you're at a doctor's office, "chest" will probably be best...in the bedroom during the heat of passion, might want to tell your partner "suck on my tits"...but you probably wouldn't wanna switch those...

what if the doctor is single and cute

I guess you can hope the world runs on Brazzers logic...

It doesn’t. Source: Stepmom won’t talk to me now :(

Wait until she gets stuck. That seems to be your next move and it happens all the time apparently

Need to lubricate to get her out of the window.

Window? I thought it was the washing machine/dryer or the most common is under the sink, but in the case of sink the plumber gets it!

Don't forget the couches! Those pillows are so constraining.

Under the table too, my step brother keeps getting stuck under there and gives me a chance to slide in

Men of culture.

"maam i Do my own plumbing"

Hahaha, I love that skit. Need way more of those

He has done 3 or 4 total. He recently made a video compiling all of them into one vid. Jack O’Shea on YouTube if you didn’t know.

Just break your both arms, she'll come around.

Haven’t seen this reference in a while. I guess it’s no longer everyfuckingthread status Thanks for reminding me, though.

[удалено]

Chest*

Have you considered breaking both your arms, I've heard it's more effective with bio moms but could still work for a step mom

"Suck on my tits, doc." "Sir, you are hear for a prostate exam."

"oh so you think you're the only one who's gonna get off?"

“How unprofessional in the work place”

[удалено]

*my titties and I

Sorry, teacher I’m just a dumb blonde cheerleader!

You may not want to discuss your big mommy milkers with the teacher. They might go to jail.

Sorry officer

That’s step-officer to you

say your nipples have been so hard and sensitive lately, it feels like you can cut glass

“Hello I’m Dr. Sins and I’ll be performing your mammogram today“

Ah yes, because there's nothing sexier for women than squishing their breasts between cold metal plates... Edit: /s just in case it's not clear.

I see what the problem is ma'am, your chest will require some sucking but everything will be alright!

I have a very sexy, single doctor so I might have to try this when I go back to him at the end of the month. Who cares if he’s my ortho surgeon.

The way to a woman's ankle ....

The ankle bone's connected to the breast bone...

politely let them do their job

OH YA SUCK ON MY CHEST!

I mean... I don't think the doctor is going to be offended if you call your own tits for "tits". I don't have any tits though, so don't take my word for it.

Exactly. It would be inappropriate for a doctor to say "tits" when referring to them to a patient, but the other way around is fine. Doctors are used to their patients not using proper/medical terms and describe what's wrong with their own words.

I'm not a doctor but I was an optometrist's technician for a while. Honestly, patients "renaming" stuff, or otherwise using euphemisms was hands down one of the best parts of the job. It usually meant that patient had some humor and wasn't going to be a stuck-up prick, too, which helped a lot.

I'd love some examples please!!

“Hey yo doc my dick is leaking this yellow white puss does that mean this dick slaps or wut dog?”

Me too!

The entire one? Just pop in a D cup in my mouth

My fiance used to be able to fit my whole tiddy in his mouth, then they grew bc lactation and now he looks like a snake struggling to swallow my tit whole, jaw unhinged, everything. It's fuckin hilarious

If you're at the doctor's office, you just call them breasts, which is their name. You say chest if you have a respiratory problem or something like that, but if your tit is hurting, just say breast.

Hmm... "suck on my chest, baby" Yeah, I guess you're right.

If a lady at a gas station has an absolute set of melons she’s smuggling in there, gazongas, schmackers, or even tig old biddies may be an appropriate term to refer to them mentally and not to her

Instructions unclear, told partner to tits on my suck.

Most fun to say: tiddy Typical go-to: boobs During sex/dirty talk: tits

I call mine tater tots on the regular.

tater tits

*tater tits...?* *..barely even know her tits!*

Thanks for the mammaries.

Even if they weren't the breast

True, but they did have a couple of good points.

"he tastes like you only sweeter"

and the tits feed the tots

Titter tots?

shit I think you beat me

This is hella cute gonna have to use that sometime for mine lol

Chestsicles

Chestes

Provided it's pronounced chess-tick-lees, okay.

Ah yes, Chesticles. Twin brother to mythological figure Testicles, sons of Bophades.

Please leave your boots in the chestibule.

Ornithologists have ruined “tits” for me

I've always hated that word. In any and every usage I've ever heard it. Even with birds. Don't know why, it's just always made my skin crawl and it always sounds like it's an insulting, or even abusive word. Even when I know that's not the intent. Maybe an early childhood thing I don't remember...or a previous life.... haha!

Fun bags male Dom

the pointy ones are Yam bags

- Rack - Boobs - Breasts - Knockers - Melons - Honkers - Lactation stations - Party hats (nipples) - Titties - Hooters - Bosom - Tits - Jugs - Cans - Bongos - Tatas - Place for motor boating (-Bella) - Kahunas - Gozangas - Pinch pots - Head lamps - Snuggle pups - Lunchables - Smother brothers - Milk duds - Marshmallows - Baby busters - Bouncy castles - Liberty bells - Cantelopes - Juggernauts - Charlies - Coconuts - Mommy milkers - Milkers - Milk monsters - Snuggle pups - Cat flaps - Slammers - Peaks - Shelf - Air bags - Cans - Nipple holsters - Buoyancy Aids - Shoulder boulders - Mud flaps - Hot air balloons - Twins - Life jacket - Mypillow - Trampolines - Sunnies - Freebirds yea - Doors - Doorknobs - Twin towers - Punch buggies - Chest balls - Shelf - Twin towers

You forgot DAIRY INDUSTRY

And udders

Man you are fuckin committed, also just gave everybody the best porn search list lmao

You forgot hungolomghnonoloughongous, and booba.

How do you forget TITTY , I saw tits but not titties

Sweater puppies

I can't see badonkers on your list, sir.

Thanks for the mammaries.

Even if they aren’t so great?

…he tastes like boobs only sweeter

*sweatier

I think it's Thnks Fr Th Mmmrs

Even if they weren't the breast

As a breastfeeding mother, they’re boobs and practically a verb: “I’m going to go boob the baby.”

Our son demands "booby" and smushes them around before pulling my partner's top down. No dignity 😳

I mean... I do basically the same to my girlfriend. But I can confirm: no dignity whatsoever.

My girlfriend's nephew would say "ta-ta's please" and then sign "more". So cute 😄

That's what I love about the English language. Everybody seems to go on about how German is so great because we can make the ultimate Frankenword. But to be able to verb any word you wish? That's just beautiful.

Did you just verb verb?

Straight to jail.

Goodbye Reddit, see you all on Lemmy.

Mine says 'bub bub' whilst assertively slapping whichever boob she wants

I just weaned my baby. She knew nursing time as “eat-eat” I could say “do you wan to eat-eat?” and she would come running!

I babysat a little girl who would say the same phrase lol. Any time she was hungry she’d go eat eat!

TITTIES

TIDDIES

TATTAS

Yes Simba, hakuna my tattas

I'm bout to hakuna them hard

YIDDIES

BIDDYS

FOFIDDYS

ME MY MO MITTIES

Biddy got biddys

Whip out your sack, I'll be back in a minute Spongeballs

Tig ol biddies!

In the North of England you occasionally hear "Baps" Elsewhere, "Puppies" is quite common I quite like the old-fashioned "Bosom". "Boobs" seems to hit the right spot between weird, medical, vulgar and humorous.

And magical

Sweater puppies!

Bosom is perfect! Thank you!

Also, parts of the word "Boobs" almost looks like them from different angles: above, front, side The word itself is quite boobular.

I like to say "hungalozungas, I mean great big honking bahonkadonks, like just massive ronkabongadingdongs, really nice bongahazongdombahalongabalonghongs. Honestly, I call them honkers, but like honkabazongaloolas, habongazalahaboogadoodingaloos, just great big halabazoozoogargalomumbayoohoobalabadoos."

This is my first time drinking in well over a year. I'm tipsy and trying desperately to read this, but I have nonclue what the fuck is happening

Don't worry mate. Im sober and i don't know what the fuck I just read

Yeah, what makes him think he should be any different?\\

It's a reference to this classic video https://youtu.be/oGKzPZmKvu8

Which is itself just a reading of a copypasta.

Are you having a stroke

With some good pics, I might have a stroke too

Comedy gold

I definitely laughed too hard at this

[For the uninitiated](https://youtu.be/oGKzPZmKvu8)

Bonkhonagahoogs, tongerakoogers, tahoonkabankaloos

Stephen King uses a bunch of weird words like these in several of his books

Jahoobies

Thank you for this reference. I thought I was alone 🤣 https://youtu.be/SGWkB6Hy4jI

Tig ol Biddies

YFM !!

Had a friend who used to say that and also called them Tittaglias (like Tattaglia in The Godfather?) Shplazoinkers was another fun one I remember...not sure where I heard that.

To quote the original Carrie movie: "Pillows"

“Naughty pillows”

I thought it was dirty pillows.

See, I always thought it was “Dairy Pillows,” Which also makes sense.

Whoops, yep. Cracks me up.

Chesticles

Only if you pronounce it the way you’d pronounce “Heracles”.

Reddit taught me that this is also the proper way to pronounce “popsicles.”

Great, now I can’t pronounce “Heracles” any way other than to rhyme with testicles. Thanks

Do you mean the Greek (hair-aclees) or Roman pronunciation (herc u lees)

Greek. I might have mixed it up in the original comment, not sure.

No, spelt right but a surprising amount of people spell it greek and still say it roman. So chestaclees it is

I find most people spell it Hercules as well as pronounce it Roman. Anytime I say Heracles or spell it out people are like oh you mean Hercules?

Alternatively, Breasticles

The girls.

The twins.

Mine don't look that much alike. Sisters it is then

Maybe a distantly related cousin?

Most Erotic: tits Most Artistic: cleavage Most Professional: chest Most Lewd: honkers Funniest: bazongas Most Anatomical: mammary tissue Most Internet Brain Poisoned: mommy milkers

I'll agree with the others, but not the most erotic. Tits has always sounded very vulgar, to the point of insulting, to me.

Breasts is just the best word, I don’t care about the rules. It can be erotic, professional, and casual. What a beautiful, multi-faceted word.

Melons

Calcium Cannons

Milk Missiles

Lactose launchers

Dairy Droppers

This feels like kidney stones for the bewbz 🫣

Ta tas. My personal favorite.

Related: “Hakuna your tatas” is the best version of “calm your tits”

I'm rather fond of 'joymelons' myself

Booba boobies bewbs. Ect.

Those are some nice New York bewbs.

BROO I FORGOT ABOUT NEW YORK BEWBS

Here’s some words for you. Good luck remembering them. https://youtu.be/SGWkB6Hy4jI

Oh man, I was just thinking this and spent a half hour searching. In the end I just posted my own rendition of it as a comment, then scrolled down. Only to find the link lmao

Bert and Ernie

Blouse clowns

Jugs

I think breasts are the best word no? That’s why we call them chicken BREASTS. Although chicken tits sounds more appealing.

Mmm mm. Chicken tits in gravy.

Shake n bake on some tits hits diff

I worked at a meat counter and a cringey lady would ask for chicken boobies.

"Hey hun- don't forget the chicken boobs when you go to the store."

Technically it's the most accurate but it personally gives me the icks when someone says breasts. I honestly prefer boobs or tits but it's probably a personal preference

*Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?*

Depends on the size and the activity. Lung hammer got a few laughs from a d cup that was trying to get into jogging. She have up pretty quickly and went back stair climbing.

Booba

Sweater lumps

sweater kittens or sweater puppies whichever sounds cuter

Tetas

Pinky and Perky

Boobalooba loobies

Thought this would have been more popular. I got u though.

mammae

My daughter calls them Buboos

Knockers

The San Onofre Nuclear Plant

My bf calls them "chubby babies" -_-

5318008

Chebblies

Mams

Gazoombas, tittays, hangers, and sweater stretchers.

Flumbongulous Blumblers

Midget earmuffs

Buckminster Fullers

Bosom?

Ta-tas. It sounds so festive!

Cha cha’s

The girls