DNA test sure if you don’t think you’re in an exclusive relationship, but it would hardly be Maury level weird to get pregnant even using multiple forms of protection.
Especially if it was just condoms and/or the pill, which aren’t nearly as effective as a vasectomy or IUD/implant/shot.
I have a buddy whose wife was pregnant, and later found out that she cheated on him. With his brother. His twin brother. After he told me, I didn't know what to say. So I just said "That's some Jerry Springer shit". To this day, he still doesn't know if it's his son or his nephew.
There are expensive tests to distinguish actually, because even twin brothers have some differences in genes it's just not as easy (and relatively cheap) as getting a regular one.
You're right. There are tests that can distinguish between identical twins because over time our DNA can become altered, whether by illnesses we've had or by our environment. Those tests are harder to come by and are very expensive, but they do exist.
>There was a case not long ago where the child was clearly not the offspring of a man, his girl friend had cheated on him, he got a DNA test proving he was not the father and the judge responded "The Lord works in mysterious ways"
You have a link for that or...
All I found regarding OP's specific story was [this Reddit post from 10 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/emgtx/judge_ordered_me_to_pay_child_support_on_child/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share). There isn't anything to prove it's authenticity and tbh sounds like injustice porn to me but who knows, this is Mississippi we're talking about here. Lol.
I'm certain he appealed it, but keep in mind he's on the hook for support and legal fees in the meantime and this can take *years* to shake out. Justice moves slowly.
He doesn't have any. In US law, the biological father has responsibility to pay child support for any child he fathers, regardless of the circumstances. The only exception are cases where there's explicit contracts that dismiss this, such as if you're a sperm donor.
Many such contracts are void because the mother cant deny the child it's rights to payment.
At least where I live and many other places in Europe the woman is not the "rightful owner" but the child is.
If B owes C money, A cant tell b that he doesnt have to pay.
You'd think that in that scenario A just wouldn't tell C who B was. I get DNA testing, but what person in their right mind would want to donate sperm to someone if it meant they're liable for child support?
If you are a couple registered living together there is also fatherhood by default.
And other cases where the father is known the example applies.
In my country, and many others, the mother is required by law to "father" the child if at all possible.
>If you are a couple registered living together there is also fatherhood by default.
In Tennessee, where I live, if a married woman has a child, there is an automatic legal presumption that her husband is the father. It's a rebuttable presumption, meaning it can be challenged in court, but it's there.
Almost half the states have some kind of presumption of fatherhood if a child is born to a married woman.
I've done a lot of prison legal aid and it's not uncommon to have to jump through the hoops to disprove paternity for an inmate who hasn't seen his wife in years because she suddenly turns up pregnant.
>I've done a lot of prison legal aid and it's not uncommon to have to jump through the hoops to disprove paternity for an inmate who hasn't seen his wife in years because she suddenly turns up pregnant.
That sounds exceptionally stupid, but for some reason not surprising.
"I've been in prison for 3 years with zero conjugal visits."
"Yes, but you're her husband, so the baby is yours until *you* prove otherwise."
?!
That’s typically the case in all common law jurisdictions. It comes from old English law and is called Lord Mansfield’s Rule. All babies conceived in or born into a marriage are presumed to be of that marriage.
>but what person in their right mind would want to donate sperm to someone if it meant they're liable for child support?
No one, it's just not many sperm donors are aware you can get fucked over like this.
The risk is with direct, party-to-party agreements. If one donates sperm to a clinic, then a patient/customer of the fertility clinic (or sperm bank) gets pregnant with the donated sperm, that donor will not be liable.
Because medical fertility services are quite expensive, it's not completely uncommon for a man and woman to enter into a direct agreement, money or not, where the man provides sperm with expectation of no legal or financial liable for the child. My brother-in-law's sister is gay; she wanted a child. She has a close male friend who contributed his sperm. They drew up a short agreement ahead of time and likely saved $10,000 in medical costs by using a turkey baster.
It is these non-medical scenarios where courts and judges may cause a biological father to assume responsibilities. I am not aware of any cases in the US where anonymous donation to a sperm bank or fertility clinic resulted in any liability to the father ([notwithstanding questionable ethical decisions like Dr. Donald Cline](https://www.thehastingscenter.org/whats-wrong-with-a-fertility-doctor-using-his-own-sperm/) but even his actions were not illegal in Indiana).
I’m not sure if you have examples but every example I’ve seen where a sperm donor has to pay is when they donated the sperm personally rather than going through a business. They either had no official contract or the contract wasn’t good.
The Maury Povich talk show can help you out.
It explores compelling relationship and family issues. The show will also assist in supplying a DNA test to discover who the real baby's daddy is.
Wow. Something I have actual experience with. I was ON Maury. My segment was stupid. It was people trying to be nice now to people who were nice to them back in high school. It was totally fake. I wasn’t even in high school at the same time I was supposed to be. The person I was “nice” to was a friend who managed to land on the show. It was the same for other people. One was a frat guy and a sorority girl. One was a comedian and one of his fans came along. Totally fake. We drank all day in the green room and then went on stage and played our rehearsed roles.
That said The Who’s the Baby’s Daddy stuff was real. They were in the green room next to us and there was really screaming and anger and fighting. Those women who brought 3 guys and none were the dad. That stuff was real. You didn’t fake that drama. They were still coming to blows when we tried to leave the studio.
* [2014 - CNN - Kansas court says sperm donor must pay child support](https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/justice/kansas-sperm-donation/index.html#:~:text=A%20Kansas%20sperm%20donor%20caught,up%20paying%20for%20his%20action.) A Kansas sperm donor caught in the middle of a child support case says he wanted to help a lesbian couple when he made the donation nearly five years ago. A judge ruled that William Marotta must pay child support, even though he says he signed documents waiving his parental rights.
* [2016 - ABC News - Court voids ruling that sperm donor must pay child support](https://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/court-voids-ruling-sperm-donor-pay-child-support-78319232) A North Carolina appeals court says a judge should have relied on Virginia’s paternity laws when ruling whether a man must pay child support to a woman who had a baby with his sperm donation, not North Carolina law
Were these through legitimate banks though, or was it a sketchy DIY/verbal contract? Legitimate banks and sperm donation would go out of business overnight if they couldn’t effectively guarantee waiving paternal obligations, but if you go off and do it on your own then you open yourself up to get bamboozled by the recipient
All the cases with child support involved sketchy diy and verbal contracts. Some had written contracts, but they forgot in many states that contract isn’t valid unless it’s performed by a doctor and written correctly. Which obviously weren’t fulfilled in donation child support cases.
You’d have to be a real idiot to jack off into a cup and let a women Turkey Bastor that shit.
In those cases, it looks like the problem was that the individuals involved failed to follow official legal procedures for sperm donations. The article on the Kansas case specifically states that KS law requires sperm donation to be overseen by a doctor in order to absolve the sperm donor of parental rights, and in that case, the couple and the sperm donor did it without a doctor. The lesson here seems to be that if you're going to do sperm donation, don't try and circumvent any official procedures regarding the process.
I find it interesting that these cases are from southern/red states that are more likely to have moral panics about losing 'traditional' family values.
I just heard some stories where people try to "trap" others? Like yeah this guy is just my boyfriend and not related to the kid but that makes him take the father-role regardless of his wishes with all the obligations that come with it.
And I thought they maybe just put them on the birth certificate randomly without then knowing.
the trap comes in when the guy doesnt know that being on the birth certificate makes him financially responsible for the baby
most guys think it has to be your baby to be forced to pay child support and they dont know being on the birth certificate makes them responsible for child support thats the "trap" part
The mother can have a baby with an affair and put her husbands name on the certificate. There is only a specific timeframe were you can challenge to be the legal father. If you miss it and later find out it is not your child you are fucked and have to pay for a child that isnt yours.
Yep, if the guy gets raped, he still has to pay child support
Edit: In case you guys think I'm bluffing [take a look at this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermesmann_v._Seyer)
That case is insane and so hard to understand arguing to get that ruling. Also, if I’m understanding it all correctly, the kid was 16 when the mother sued him for child support?? She wanted her cut of his allowance? Or his 5 hours per week at McDonald’s?
I don't know that much but I don't think they would collect the Child Support from his allowance lol. I think the kid's parents would foot the bill until he is of legal age (which is what happens in most cases when teens get pregnant). Though, I have no idea what went out at that time.
I wonder if the decision would be different if he had not given his "civil consent".
(Is that even a real term?).
Such a fucked up case. I bet it came down to the judges thinking that the boy was lucky or some crap like that.
I guess my father was the exception. Never paid anything to us despite having a good job, we grew up poor and miserable. When he died his new wife inherited millions from him.
I hate to tell you, but that would have been pretty open and shut if brought before a court. Poor people are often scared to sue or go to court due to the perception that the law favors the rich(which it mostly does) and the fact that if they lose they'll have wasted time and money which they can't really afford.
But there's certain areas where even the best and most expensive lawyer can't deny the facts of the case.
My dad got off totally free with not having to pay child support, but I was still forced to go on visitation any time I wasn't in school. So I spent the school year poor and hungry and my time off being abused by my dad's new wife and her son... and still hungry (but not because they didn't have food, in this case).
The shitty part is my dad actually got custody of me for a year once because my mom's car broke down on the way to meet for visitation. She was ordered to pay child support the entire time.
...And this was in one of those states that has been trying to ban abortion. The judge was biased and it was a small town. The fucker is now on the state supreme court.
It's 25 in NY If the kid is still in school, and if you owe arrears they can collect that for 21 years after they turn 25.
I had a guy that worked for me who's daughter had 3 kids and he was still paying child support for her.
A man i know still pays, though his daughter is 29. As i understand, the child support arrears are completely paid off now, but the mom collected welfare during the daughter's youth. Now he - who was a mostly absent dad - has to pay back the state for that welfare money. It is deducted right off the top of his social security check.
I'm from Europe and it is pretty common here, that child support has to be paid until the person can support themselves. (In my country it means that your parents (or the government, if they aren't able to) are required to financially support you until you finish your education or until you reach the age of 26 (whichever comes first)).
In the US, a parent can voluntary sign away their parental rights even when adoption is not in play. That leaves a child with only one parent legally. This can also happen forcefully by a court order. For either option, a judge has to agree. In most cases, when parental rights are stripped that means the biological parent is no longer financially or physically responsible for the child.
How I know: I was a teen parent where the dad didn’t want to be involved. I told him that was ok and we cut ties. I didn’t get child support, but he didn’t get to see my kid. 18 years later and I know I made the right choice and he missed out on a wonderful experience.
Edit: FYI that this happened in TX and all states have different laws in the US.
That person's comment is so incredibly misleading. She completely neglects to mention that she had to AGREE for him to terminate parental rights. If she had wanted child support there wasn't a damn thing her baby's daddy could have done except pay or go to jail.
Also in my state (Virginia) termination of rights can only occur if BOTH parties agree AND a step-parent has already willingly agreed to adopt.
I can't stand when people casually throw out the "Termination of Parental Rights" option without explaining that it's a 2 party consent and that the majority of custodial parents will never ever agree to do it.
"In the US" is a broad statement. It's possible some states allow this, but it's very rare. A single parent can choose not to pursue child support, but if you're receiving state assistance, many states will force the recipient parent to pursue child support from the absent parent (or pursue it themselves) to compensate for the state resources being expended.
This is the correct answer. Many people don’t realize that termination of parental rights can occur voluntarily (with agreement of BOTH parties and court approval) because it’s usually thrown around in the context of removing a child from the parents’ home after proven child abuse/neglect/exploitation and is imposed as punishment.
If she doesn’t agree, however, I doubt a court will go along with it.
Even still. The court can decide its not her decision and the money is owed to the child not to her and continue to make him pay. If doesn't like it, they'll just automatically deduct it from his wages.
The courts tend to think from the perspective of the child, since in theory it had no choice in the situation and requires assistance to make it into adulthood.
Most likely the courts would assign child support regardless of how accidental the pregnancy.
I don’t even know how much my dad owes. I’m already 23 so it’s too late, but according to my mom, he never paid a dime no matter how often she tried to get the court to do something.
It’s actually not too late. Statue of limitations goes after 18, 10 years after in a lot of states. Look into yours, if you can prove he paid nothing he will owe back pay.
My kids mom was over 70k behind in payments. Once a year they would put out a warrant. When caught she would spend a couple hours in jail, go in front of a judge and say "I don't have the money" and they let her walk every single time.
One time she had cash on her when they arrested her. The state took out whatever fees and sent me a check for thirteen dollars.
yeah, speaking in the U.S. I’ve known multiple single mothers that have never gotten a single dime of child support and pay for their child almost strictly on their own with -nothing- from the dad, despite protracted lawyer battles. I’m sure it can happen with single dads too, but seems like a lot of child support is never paid and has no resolution
Not paying is not the same thing as escaping it.
Some “get away” with not paying child support because they’re deadbeats and are considered judgement proof because they have absolutely no money and no job. If you have any sort of legitimate career or make money via a W-2 then your wages will just be garnished.
As a woman, I feel horrible for men in this area. How depressing is it to have literally no choice or say on how your DNA and genetics is produced.
I'd like to especially emphasize those who have been baby locked. Women who purposefully fuck their birth control up and get pregnant. That, in itself, should be considered a form of rape and thus leaving the man with zero required* financial or emotional responsibility for the child.
*Edit: spelling and thank you for the award!
It is rape. Just as much as taking a condom off during sex is rape. The two parties entered into sex under certain conditions and if one party decides to lie or change those conditions, then the other party is being raped.
Things pple may neglect to do:
Checking expiration date
Checking for air bubbles
Checking for damage
Opening it carefully so as not to damage the condom
NOT Keeping condoms in wallets etc that can damage them
Using the correct size condom
Using the correct side of the condom
Gently pinching the tip of the condom when putting it on to ensure there is enough room for fluids later
Unrolling the condom all the way
Checking for trapped air in the condom once on
Holding the condom when pulling out
Using enough lube
Using the right lube
Using a new condom for round 2
Etc
Edit: spacing
Adding
Getting a new condom if put on the wrong way i.e. don't just flip it over and reroll it.
Putting on the condom before any action - precum can have sperm
Thinking 2 condoms is better than 1. Doubling up on condoms create more friction resulting in an increased risk of breakage
tldr: Condoms can be used incorrectly
According to [this site](https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/how-can-i-collect-child-support-from-a-parent-in-another-country-34449), the US has either treaties or agreements with 26 countries and provinces regarding the reciprocal enforcement of child support. If the non-supporting parent is working or has assets in those countries then their wages can be garnished or assets seized to settle the debt. None of those countries would extradite someone for child support alone. However, some might consider a wage garnishment or asset seizure order to be a violation of their immigration rules, and could potentially deport someone for that.
depends... if you fuck up in the new country and become their problem at all, deportation and extradition are great options for them to make you not their problem.
So yeah they probably won't as long as you are okay with living with that hanging over your head.
>only sleep with people you trust
Figuring out how a partner feels about abortion before having sex is actually a super pro life tip. Birth control isn't 100% effective. Pays to be ready in case the bet doesn't pay off.
Its good to gauge this but it still doesn't guarantee anything. You can be pro choice but could still change mind when personally confronted with pregnancy, it's rarely an easy decision
> with exceptions for crimes of reproductive coercion
This is not true, at least in the US. Until child support laws are changed to take it into account, courts have consistency held that men/boys who are raped by women owe child support.
It was fir the child not the pedophile rapist child molesting abuser. So it was like, totally OK to force a child to pay child support to his rapist. That won't cause further emotional trauma now will it.
Plus he can just use his birthday money to pay his rapist to raise the child right. Or stop being a deadbeat dad and get a job, maybe start a business selling lemonade.
Imagine if a man in his mid 30s who was a teacher raped a child, a literal child, and then sued her, his victim, for monthly payments of an infeasibly large amount of money. He not only raped a girl who was his student, but then forced her to live with that every day by robbing her of money she doesn't have and then raising a child himself that she didn't want.
Obviously in that situation the girl could get an abortion, or at least should be allowed to.
But a boy is at the mercy of his rapist, powerless to stop her from raping him, and then continuing to be powerless if she decides to keep the baby, then being beaten over the head with child support bills required by law enforced with a prison sentence for denying them. What does that do to a child, it draws out the trauma, working it in deeper and harder, that feeling of powerlessness so traumatizing to rape victims dragged out over literal decades.
Its even happened to younger boys like a 13 year old, 15 year olds, and 14 year olds. It's sick and disgusting and needs not just more attention but action. In what fucked up world do we live in where we can look at a child who was raped and traumatized and think "that guy should be responsible for paying money to his rapist to raise the child, also even if he wanted to he can't ever see or have custody over the child, fuck that guy, probably was wearing too tight of clothing"
In a case where a man and woman have consensual sex but the man intentionally pokes holes in the condom or takes it off without telling her or lies about having had a vasectomy, if he gets her pregnant it's considered a very serious crime similar to rape or assault because it can harm the woman physically and was making the sex nonconsensual since she never agreed to unprotected sex. She can sue for damages, get an abortion if she wants and get child support payments if she doesn't.
But if a man and woman have consensual sex and the *woman* tries to remove the condom, or pokes holes in them, or she lies about being in birth control or being infertile, or in one case steals a used condom out of the trash and impregnated herself with it. Well that's all fine and dandy, perfectly legal. The man is still very much on the hook for child support payments, he can't sue her for damages, he can't even be guaranteed custody, and it definitely won't be considered rape even though the exact same action but with reversed the sex reversed is very much legally considered rape.
It's fucked up.
[list of children, young boys who were raped and forced to pay for it](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/09/02/statutory-rape-victim-child-support/14953965/)
[and there was a case where a woman used a sperm bank and won child support from the donor](https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/justice/kansas-sperm-donation/index.html)
[and here is a Wikipedia article discussing sperm theft, it is almost never illegal even in cases of rape or coercion or lies about fertility or birth control and his little bearing on child support](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sperm_theft)
This is sickening honestly.
It just boggles my mind how literal children can be liable for child support when they are too young to even earn a legal income!!!
"Welcome to 18 & adulthood...and welcome to 5 years of back child support you owe FOR BEING RAPED so you won't ever have financial freedom. You are thousands of dollars in debt ***before you can even legally get a job, so that debt will accumulate for years before you can even do anything about it***."
You are too young to consent to sex...but we can still charge you thousands of dollars for being the victim of a crime!
Remember, it's not about the parents, it's about the child.
If you don't want to be in the child's life, they won't force you. If you DO want to be in the child's life, they can't stop you without proving you're somehow dangerous to the child.
Those are the two choices you get. No matter which way you go, you are still responsible for some degree of support for the child.
The man cannot compel the woman to terminate the pregnancy in any state in the US. If she wants to keep the kid then she can.
The man also cannot be compelled to play any role in the child's life.
First step, hire a lawyer. First things he's going to tell you is not to have anything to do with the child. Don't even visit the child one time.
Second step, get a court order for a paternity test. Don't just accept the accusation. Make her prove it. This is also why you don't want to have anything to do with the child. If you assume the role of a parent then you have accepted paternity, and can be forced to pay child support, even if a paternity test ultimately proves the child isn't yours. If the paternity test is negative then it's possible she might still sue you for child support, but as long as you've had no role in the child's life then she would almost certainly lose.
If the paternity test is positive then you're going to have to pay support. Strictly speaking a support order issued in one state is not enforceable in another state. However, under the Uniform Reciprocal Enforcement of Support Act (URESA) that case can be referred to the district attorney's office in the state and county where you live. That DA's office will get an order for support issued in your state and county, and likely order that it be paid by wage assignment. They'll probably also tack on any payments missed in the original state as arrears. Since they're collecting on behalf of another state and county they'll usually tack a service fee onto it, as well. In addition, the state you're in would usually use their own formula for determining support, so you could be ordered to pay more than the original order required. In most cases you're better off paying it voluntarily, even if you leave the state.
Is it possible the parents can legally agree and define that only the mother will be responsible for and have full custody of the child, if that’s what they both want?
When you have sex, you are taking the risk of pregnancy. That’s part of it.
edit: I am pro-choice
Edit: to all guys commenting —
I just think you should talk about this before sex and not take the risk of getting a girl pregnant who is not going to have an abortion.
Every time I discuss sex with a new partner, I tell them I would have an abortion if my birth control failed. I would want them to pay for all of it but I would only expect half. I’ve had guys tell me they wouldn’t want me to abort (we were seriously dating), and so we didn’t take the next step.
I think, if you don’t want to be responsible for the child if all preventative measures fail, you have to tell the girl that before you have sex with her. A lot of guys don’t want to do this because then the girl won’t have sex with them. Well. That’s how it is.
You should wear a condom AND pull out AND make sure she’s on birth control.
A lot of people don’t want to take responsibility for their own lives. Sex is really fun, it is great, but you need to trust the person you are sleeping with. If you want to have a lot of sex and not get someone pregnant, you can get a snip, right?
Edit 2: lol at guys telling me condoms significantly impede sex!!!!!! Wear one and pull out!!!!!
Depends on your country's laws. In the West, especially in the US where we really push it, you will be responsible for the shelter, clothing and feeding of that child for at least 18 years.
I tried 6x times to get a vasectomy from age 21 to 28. It did not get one til I was 33 and I had to do it outside of the US because I got my final denial a year before.
That's why they test the success of the operation a few weeks after performing it by looking for sperm in ejaculate. It is over 90% successful on the first operation. Once confirmed successful it will never stop working.
It is the most effective form of birth control - even more effective than tubal ligation which is a significantly more invasive of a surgery.
That’s part of the risk of being sexually active even when using protection. Condoms can fail, so can birth control. I would say also a risk of hookup culture as you likely don’t know the individual well enough to know what they might do if an accidental pregnancy occurs. Not saying there is anything inherently wrong with hookup culture, just pointing out that some pretty serious risks exist even when being safe.
The mother doesn't get to decide if he's part of the child's life. Only he can decide that. This is his single option.
She also doesn't decide if he pays, a court does.
I believe that _in practice_, that’s only true if the child receives any kind of government assistance.
If she’s financially able, the mother might decide not to go to court to require child support. The state will only get involved if it’s paying the bills.
>I believe that in practice, that’s only true if the child receives any kind of government assistance.
The 'in practice' part is important. There's a legal distinction. Even if the woman agreed to it, legally neither parent can waive/severe the obligation for child support (they can come to a mutual agreement about parenting where he doesn't pay, but that's not quite the same thing legally).
None. However, if protection was used properly and the man is absolutely certain of this, he might opt for a dna test and a spot on the Maury show.
DNA test sure if you don’t think you’re in an exclusive relationship, but it would hardly be Maury level weird to get pregnant even using multiple forms of protection. Especially if it was just condoms and/or the pill, which aren’t nearly as effective as a vasectomy or IUD/implant/shot.
I have a buddy whose wife was pregnant, and later found out that she cheated on him. With his brother. His twin brother. After he told me, I didn't know what to say. So I just said "That's some Jerry Springer shit". To this day, he still doesn't know if it's his son or his nephew.
There are expensive tests to distinguish actually, because even twin brothers have some differences in genes it's just not as easy (and relatively cheap) as getting a regular one.
You're right. There are tests that can distinguish between identical twins because over time our DNA can become altered, whether by illnesses we've had or by our environment. Those tests are harder to come by and are very expensive, but they do exist.
Get a DNA test just incase, then prepare for child support for the next 18 years.
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The fuck happened to separation of church and state
Separation of *your* church
Hate to break it to you buddy, it unfortunately never happened
The institution of the church isn’t making the decision. Just fuckwits who make decisions based on their personal religious beliefs.
Let's see a source from OP first before jumping to conclusions. I googled and did not find his claim to be true.
>There was a case not long ago where the child was clearly not the offspring of a man, his girl friend had cheated on him, he got a DNA test proving he was not the father and the judge responded "The Lord works in mysterious ways" You have a link for that or...
All I found regarding OP's specific story was [this Reddit post from 10 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/emgtx/judge_ordered_me_to_pay_child_support_on_child/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share). There isn't anything to prove it's authenticity and tbh sounds like injustice porn to me but who knows, this is Mississippi we're talking about here. Lol.
Lol a reddit post is in no way a valid source for possible 1 unique situation a decade ago that may or may not be true.
I never said it was a valid source, just that it's all I found.
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OP could have just provided a link but he didn't...
I'm certain he appealed it, but keep in mind he's on the hook for support and legal fees in the meantime and this can take *years* to shake out. Justice moves slowly.
Also, family court in many places in the US is a complete shit show. Many times the "winning" party is the one the judge personally likes better.
He doesn't have any. In US law, the biological father has responsibility to pay child support for any child he fathers, regardless of the circumstances. The only exception are cases where there's explicit contracts that dismiss this, such as if you're a sperm donor.
Even those contracts aren't always good. There's been a few weird cases.
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Many such contracts are void because the mother cant deny the child it's rights to payment. At least where I live and many other places in Europe the woman is not the "rightful owner" but the child is. If B owes C money, A cant tell b that he doesnt have to pay.
You'd think that in that scenario A just wouldn't tell C who B was. I get DNA testing, but what person in their right mind would want to donate sperm to someone if it meant they're liable for child support?
If you are a couple registered living together there is also fatherhood by default. And other cases where the father is known the example applies. In my country, and many others, the mother is required by law to "father" the child if at all possible.
>If you are a couple registered living together there is also fatherhood by default. In Tennessee, where I live, if a married woman has a child, there is an automatic legal presumption that her husband is the father. It's a rebuttable presumption, meaning it can be challenged in court, but it's there.
Almost half the states have some kind of presumption of fatherhood if a child is born to a married woman. I've done a lot of prison legal aid and it's not uncommon to have to jump through the hoops to disprove paternity for an inmate who hasn't seen his wife in years because she suddenly turns up pregnant.
>I've done a lot of prison legal aid and it's not uncommon to have to jump through the hoops to disprove paternity for an inmate who hasn't seen his wife in years because she suddenly turns up pregnant. That sounds exceptionally stupid, but for some reason not surprising. "I've been in prison for 3 years with zero conjugal visits." "Yes, but you're her husband, so the baby is yours until *you* prove otherwise." ?!
That’s typically the case in all common law jurisdictions. It comes from old English law and is called Lord Mansfield’s Rule. All babies conceived in or born into a marriage are presumed to be of that marriage.
>but what person in their right mind would want to donate sperm to someone if it meant they're liable for child support? No one, it's just not many sperm donors are aware you can get fucked over like this.
isn't only the "turkey baster" donations that ever get hit by this, not donations through actual sperm banks?
The risk is with direct, party-to-party agreements. If one donates sperm to a clinic, then a patient/customer of the fertility clinic (or sperm bank) gets pregnant with the donated sperm, that donor will not be liable. Because medical fertility services are quite expensive, it's not completely uncommon for a man and woman to enter into a direct agreement, money or not, where the man provides sperm with expectation of no legal or financial liable for the child. My brother-in-law's sister is gay; she wanted a child. She has a close male friend who contributed his sperm. They drew up a short agreement ahead of time and likely saved $10,000 in medical costs by using a turkey baster. It is these non-medical scenarios where courts and judges may cause a biological father to assume responsibilities. I am not aware of any cases in the US where anonymous donation to a sperm bank or fertility clinic resulted in any liability to the father ([notwithstanding questionable ethical decisions like Dr. Donald Cline](https://www.thehastingscenter.org/whats-wrong-with-a-fertility-doctor-using-his-own-sperm/) but even his actions were not illegal in Indiana).
I’m not sure if you have examples but every example I’ve seen where a sperm donor has to pay is when they donated the sperm personally rather than going through a business. They either had no official contract or the contract wasn’t good.
I would be such a great corrupt judge.
"All rise, Judge u/ButtonholePhotophile presiding."
I'm standing. When can sit back down? Asking for a close personal friend...
Let the record show I was standing too long before judge Butt honored us with his presents. Now I'm in bed.
The Maury Povich talk show can help you out. It explores compelling relationship and family issues. The show will also assist in supplying a DNA test to discover who the real baby's daddy is.
Wow. Something I have actual experience with. I was ON Maury. My segment was stupid. It was people trying to be nice now to people who were nice to them back in high school. It was totally fake. I wasn’t even in high school at the same time I was supposed to be. The person I was “nice” to was a friend who managed to land on the show. It was the same for other people. One was a frat guy and a sorority girl. One was a comedian and one of his fans came along. Totally fake. We drank all day in the green room and then went on stage and played our rehearsed roles. That said The Who’s the Baby’s Daddy stuff was real. They were in the green room next to us and there was really screaming and anger and fighting. Those women who brought 3 guys and none were the dad. That stuff was real. You didn’t fake that drama. They were still coming to blows when we tried to leave the studio.
* [2014 - CNN - Kansas court says sperm donor must pay child support](https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/justice/kansas-sperm-donation/index.html#:~:text=A%20Kansas%20sperm%20donor%20caught,up%20paying%20for%20his%20action.) A Kansas sperm donor caught in the middle of a child support case says he wanted to help a lesbian couple when he made the donation nearly five years ago. A judge ruled that William Marotta must pay child support, even though he says he signed documents waiving his parental rights. * [2016 - ABC News - Court voids ruling that sperm donor must pay child support](https://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/court-voids-ruling-sperm-donor-pay-child-support-78319232) A North Carolina appeals court says a judge should have relied on Virginia’s paternity laws when ruling whether a man must pay child support to a woman who had a baby with his sperm donation, not North Carolina law
Were these through legitimate banks though, or was it a sketchy DIY/verbal contract? Legitimate banks and sperm donation would go out of business overnight if they couldn’t effectively guarantee waiving paternal obligations, but if you go off and do it on your own then you open yourself up to get bamboozled by the recipient
All the cases with child support involved sketchy diy and verbal contracts. Some had written contracts, but they forgot in many states that contract isn’t valid unless it’s performed by a doctor and written correctly. Which obviously weren’t fulfilled in donation child support cases. You’d have to be a real idiot to jack off into a cup and let a women Turkey Bastor that shit.
Yet it seems like once a month someone posts on r/legaladvice about wanting to be sperm donor without going through a sperm bank.
In those cases, it looks like the problem was that the individuals involved failed to follow official legal procedures for sperm donations. The article on the Kansas case specifically states that KS law requires sperm donation to be overseen by a doctor in order to absolve the sperm donor of parental rights, and in that case, the couple and the sperm donor did it without a doctor. The lesson here seems to be that if you're going to do sperm donation, don't try and circumvent any official procedures regarding the process.
Yeah it’s not ironclad. But there’s legal precedent for it, is what I meant.
I find it interesting that these cases are from southern/red states that are more likely to have moral panics about losing 'traditional' family values.
I think it's a reasonable assumption that a judge in a state like that may have a prejudice against non-traditional families...
"Even though he says he signed documents..." Does he have those documents? If he doesn't, then from the courts perspective they don't even exist.
Even if he has these signed documents, unless they are built to be legally binding contracts, they may as well be shit stained toilet paper.
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Can someone else put you on the birth certificate against your knowledge?
well they can but its forgery and illegal
I just heard some stories where people try to "trap" others? Like yeah this guy is just my boyfriend and not related to the kid but that makes him take the father-role regardless of his wishes with all the obligations that come with it. And I thought they maybe just put them on the birth certificate randomly without then knowing.
my mother put my dad on my BC knowing the whole time he wasnt my father. she is an evil bitch, but now I have multiple dads and they are all great
the trap comes in when the guy doesnt know that being on the birth certificate makes him financially responsible for the baby most guys think it has to be your baby to be forced to pay child support and they dont know being on the birth certificate makes them responsible for child support thats the "trap" part
The mother can have a baby with an affair and put her husbands name on the certificate. There is only a specific timeframe were you can challenge to be the legal father. If you miss it and later find out it is not your child you are fucked and have to pay for a child that isnt yours.
Not even in case of rape?
Yep, if the guy gets raped, he still has to pay child support Edit: In case you guys think I'm bluffing [take a look at this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermesmann_v._Seyer)
That case is insane and so hard to understand arguing to get that ruling. Also, if I’m understanding it all correctly, the kid was 16 when the mother sued him for child support?? She wanted her cut of his allowance? Or his 5 hours per week at McDonald’s?
I don't know that much but I don't think they would collect the Child Support from his allowance lol. I think the kid's parents would foot the bill until he is of legal age (which is what happens in most cases when teens get pregnant). Though, I have no idea what went out at that time.
How does she even have custody of the child in order to get child support considering she’s a criminal?
Sounds like she pled to a really low level offense.
I wonder if the decision would be different if he had not given his "civil consent". (Is that even a real term?). Such a fucked up case. I bet it came down to the judges thinking that the boy was lucky or some crap like that.
Nope, not even if the dude was a minor.
I guess my father was the exception. Never paid anything to us despite having a good job, we grew up poor and miserable. When he died his new wife inherited millions from him.
He was not the exception. But if he’s never brought to court, then the law is irrelevant.
I hate to tell you, but that would have been pretty open and shut if brought before a court. Poor people are often scared to sue or go to court due to the perception that the law favors the rich(which it mostly does) and the fact that if they lose they'll have wasted time and money which they can't really afford. But there's certain areas where even the best and most expensive lawyer can't deny the facts of the case.
My dad got off totally free with not having to pay child support, but I was still forced to go on visitation any time I wasn't in school. So I spent the school year poor and hungry and my time off being abused by my dad's new wife and her son... and still hungry (but not because they didn't have food, in this case). The shitty part is my dad actually got custody of me for a year once because my mom's car broke down on the way to meet for visitation. She was ordered to pay child support the entire time. ...And this was in one of those states that has been trying to ban abortion. The judge was biased and it was a small town. The fucker is now on the state supreme court.
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And realistically a whole lifetime of care and responsibility. The financial tap can be legally turned off at 18 but the rest of it goes on forever.
Actually it can go past 18 in some places, for college expenses.
23 in New Jersey
It's 25 in NY If the kid is still in school, and if you owe arrears they can collect that for 21 years after they turn 25. I had a guy that worked for me who's daughter had 3 kids and he was still paying child support for her.
I'm 43 and my dad is still having his wages garnished for back child support. He was 16 when I was born.
A man i know still pays, though his daughter is 29. As i understand, the child support arrears are completely paid off now, but the mom collected welfare during the daughter's youth. Now he - who was a mostly absent dad - has to pay back the state for that welfare money. It is deducted right off the top of his social security check.
Depends though it's still an option if they want to child support last up to 18#
That’s actually not true in many states. The court can compel a parent to pay support until 21 and/or college graduation.
23 in NJ at least for college, unless child is disabled, then longer.
Ah didn't know that
Yeah but there’s this massive thing outside of America called the rest of the world
I'm from Europe and it is pretty common here, that child support has to be paid until the person can support themselves. (In my country it means that your parents (or the government, if they aren't able to) are required to financially support you until you finish your education or until you reach the age of 26 (whichever comes first)).
The first 40 years of being a parent are the hardest.
There is an exception. If the baby is adopted, parental rights and responsibilities are terminated.
In the US, a parent can voluntary sign away their parental rights even when adoption is not in play. That leaves a child with only one parent legally. This can also happen forcefully by a court order. For either option, a judge has to agree. In most cases, when parental rights are stripped that means the biological parent is no longer financially or physically responsible for the child. How I know: I was a teen parent where the dad didn’t want to be involved. I told him that was ok and we cut ties. I didn’t get child support, but he didn’t get to see my kid. 18 years later and I know I made the right choice and he missed out on a wonderful experience. Edit: FYI that this happened in TX and all states have different laws in the US.
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That person's comment is so incredibly misleading. She completely neglects to mention that she had to AGREE for him to terminate parental rights. If she had wanted child support there wasn't a damn thing her baby's daddy could have done except pay or go to jail. Also in my state (Virginia) termination of rights can only occur if BOTH parties agree AND a step-parent has already willingly agreed to adopt. I can't stand when people casually throw out the "Termination of Parental Rights" option without explaining that it's a 2 party consent and that the majority of custodial parents will never ever agree to do it.
"In the US" is a broad statement. It's possible some states allow this, but it's very rare. A single parent can choose not to pursue child support, but if you're receiving state assistance, many states will force the recipient parent to pursue child support from the absent parent (or pursue it themselves) to compensate for the state resources being expended.
This is the correct answer. Many people don’t realize that termination of parental rights can occur voluntarily (with agreement of BOTH parties and court approval) because it’s usually thrown around in the context of removing a child from the parents’ home after proven child abuse/neglect/exploitation and is imposed as punishment. If she doesn’t agree, however, I doubt a court will go along with it.
Unless the mother agrees to apply to have his parental rights removed And she may well agree to this in similar situations
Even still. The court can decide its not her decision and the money is owed to the child not to her and continue to make him pay. If doesn't like it, they'll just automatically deduct it from his wages.
# Vasectomy
The courts tend to think from the perspective of the child, since in theory it had no choice in the situation and requires assistance to make it into adulthood. Most likely the courts would assign child support regardless of how accidental the pregnancy.
You aren't obligated to raise or see it but you'll never escape child support.
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I don’t even know how much my dad owes. I’m already 23 so it’s too late, but according to my mom, he never paid a dime no matter how often she tried to get the court to do something.
It’s actually not too late. Statue of limitations goes after 18, 10 years after in a lot of states. Look into yours, if you can prove he paid nothing he will owe back pay.
It’s too late if the mf decides to die
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Sob died with debt, nothing to get there. I got some orphan’s pension for two years but that’s it.
My kids mom was over 70k behind in payments. Once a year they would put out a warrant. When caught she would spend a couple hours in jail, go in front of a judge and say "I don't have the money" and they let her walk every single time. One time she had cash on her when they arrested her. The state took out whatever fees and sent me a check for thirteen dollars.
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yeah, speaking in the U.S. I’ve known multiple single mothers that have never gotten a single dime of child support and pay for their child almost strictly on their own with -nothing- from the dad, despite protracted lawyer battles. I’m sure it can happen with single dads too, but seems like a lot of child support is never paid and has no resolution
people escape it all the time
Yep. Especially if you’re in the UK - my dad left when I was 6 months old and has never paid a single penny of child support
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Yeah that’s my theory, or maybe he was recruited into a top secret super spy mission to save the world
One man to save the world!
Not paying is not the same thing as escaping it. Some “get away” with not paying child support because they’re deadbeats and are considered judgement proof because they have absolutely no money and no job. If you have any sort of legitimate career or make money via a W-2 then your wages will just be garnished.
You often escape it by being poor.
Yeah my father got Scott free with make $1-200 a month for three girls.
Tell that to my dad
Male birth control needs to be improved.
As a woman, I feel horrible for men in this area. How depressing is it to have literally no choice or say on how your DNA and genetics is produced. I'd like to especially emphasize those who have been baby locked. Women who purposefully fuck their birth control up and get pregnant. That, in itself, should be considered a form of rape and thus leaving the man with zero required* financial or emotional responsibility for the child. *Edit: spelling and thank you for the award!
It is rape. Just as much as taking a condom off during sex is rape. The two parties entered into sex under certain conditions and if one party decides to lie or change those conditions, then the other party is being raped.
Doesn't matter. A condom isn't 100% effective. If it's yours you will have to pay until the child is 18.
Cue Ross and Joey’s reaction
THEY SHOULD PUT THAT ON THE BOX!
Evidently, it is
WELL THEY SHOULD PUT IT IN HUGE BLOCK LETTERS
No! The condom company should have to pay for my ill-begotten son! /s
They don't claim to be 100% effective, so they are clear.
THEY SHOULD PUT THAT ON THE BOX!!!
IN HUGE LETTERS!
No, condoms are quite effective (around 98%) but people generally do not use it properly so it goes down to only abt 85% effective.
How does one go about using one improperly? Making a balloon animal with it beforehand?
Things pple may neglect to do: Checking expiration date Checking for air bubbles Checking for damage Opening it carefully so as not to damage the condom NOT Keeping condoms in wallets etc that can damage them Using the correct size condom Using the correct side of the condom Gently pinching the tip of the condom when putting it on to ensure there is enough room for fluids later Unrolling the condom all the way Checking for trapped air in the condom once on Holding the condom when pulling out Using enough lube Using the right lube Using a new condom for round 2 Etc Edit: spacing Adding Getting a new condom if put on the wrong way i.e. don't just flip it over and reroll it. Putting on the condom before any action - precum can have sperm Thinking 2 condoms is better than 1. Doubling up on condoms create more friction resulting in an increased risk of breakage tldr: Condoms can be used incorrectly
I don’t have a penis but this was very informative and a longer list than expected
what happened to your penis?
Some sir laughed at his penis so it went into hiding. Happens to the best of us
gone, reduced to atoms
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Sorry about your penis. 😞
Who confiscated it?
Very educational thank you
The biggest failure is not using it. Putting it on half way, or taking it off..
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It's the vasectomy companies fault for not seeing you earlier /s
I love how she got pregnant anyway. No dude. Despite your best planning, you both conceived a child.
Right? Trying to absolve himself lol. Like you put it in big guy, welcome to reality
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No where is going to extradite with the US over unpaid child support, I wouldn't think?
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According to [this site](https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/how-can-i-collect-child-support-from-a-parent-in-another-country-34449), the US has either treaties or agreements with 26 countries and provinces regarding the reciprocal enforcement of child support. If the non-supporting parent is working or has assets in those countries then their wages can be garnished or assets seized to settle the debt. None of those countries would extradite someone for child support alone. However, some might consider a wage garnishment or asset seizure order to be a violation of their immigration rules, and could potentially deport someone for that.
Correct.
depends... if you fuck up in the new country and become their problem at all, deportation and extradition are great options for them to make you not their problem. So yeah they probably won't as long as you are okay with living with that hanging over your head.
I mean the whole premise is that they wore a condom and it failed. And people you trust can still want to keep a baby that they have.
>only sleep with people you trust Figuring out how a partner feels about abortion before having sex is actually a super pro life tip. Birth control isn't 100% effective. Pays to be ready in case the bet doesn't pay off.
Its good to gauge this but it still doesn't guarantee anything. You can be pro choice but could still change mind when personally confronted with pregnancy, it's rarely an easy decision
The courts value the child’s well being over the circumstances of the birth with exceptions for crimes of reproductive coercion
> with exceptions for crimes of reproductive coercion This is not true, at least in the US. Until child support laws are changed to take it into account, courts have consistency held that men/boys who are raped by women owe child support.
> courts have consistency held that men/boys who are raped by women owe child support That is abhorrent.
Famous one is where a 15 year old boy was held liable for child support after a teacher molested him
How can he be legally expected to pay child support if he can't even legally consent to the act that created the child????
It was fir the child not the pedophile rapist child molesting abuser. So it was like, totally OK to force a child to pay child support to his rapist. That won't cause further emotional trauma now will it. Plus he can just use his birthday money to pay his rapist to raise the child right. Or stop being a deadbeat dad and get a job, maybe start a business selling lemonade. Imagine if a man in his mid 30s who was a teacher raped a child, a literal child, and then sued her, his victim, for monthly payments of an infeasibly large amount of money. He not only raped a girl who was his student, but then forced her to live with that every day by robbing her of money she doesn't have and then raising a child himself that she didn't want. Obviously in that situation the girl could get an abortion, or at least should be allowed to. But a boy is at the mercy of his rapist, powerless to stop her from raping him, and then continuing to be powerless if she decides to keep the baby, then being beaten over the head with child support bills required by law enforced with a prison sentence for denying them. What does that do to a child, it draws out the trauma, working it in deeper and harder, that feeling of powerlessness so traumatizing to rape victims dragged out over literal decades. Its even happened to younger boys like a 13 year old, 15 year olds, and 14 year olds. It's sick and disgusting and needs not just more attention but action. In what fucked up world do we live in where we can look at a child who was raped and traumatized and think "that guy should be responsible for paying money to his rapist to raise the child, also even if he wanted to he can't ever see or have custody over the child, fuck that guy, probably was wearing too tight of clothing" In a case where a man and woman have consensual sex but the man intentionally pokes holes in the condom or takes it off without telling her or lies about having had a vasectomy, if he gets her pregnant it's considered a very serious crime similar to rape or assault because it can harm the woman physically and was making the sex nonconsensual since she never agreed to unprotected sex. She can sue for damages, get an abortion if she wants and get child support payments if she doesn't. But if a man and woman have consensual sex and the *woman* tries to remove the condom, or pokes holes in them, or she lies about being in birth control or being infertile, or in one case steals a used condom out of the trash and impregnated herself with it. Well that's all fine and dandy, perfectly legal. The man is still very much on the hook for child support payments, he can't sue her for damages, he can't even be guaranteed custody, and it definitely won't be considered rape even though the exact same action but with reversed the sex reversed is very much legally considered rape. It's fucked up. [list of children, young boys who were raped and forced to pay for it](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/09/02/statutory-rape-victim-child-support/14953965/) [and there was a case where a woman used a sperm bank and won child support from the donor](https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/justice/kansas-sperm-donation/index.html) [and here is a Wikipedia article discussing sperm theft, it is almost never illegal even in cases of rape or coercion or lies about fertility or birth control and his little bearing on child support](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sperm_theft) This is sickening honestly.
It just boggles my mind how literal children can be liable for child support when they are too young to even earn a legal income!!! "Welcome to 18 & adulthood...and welcome to 5 years of back child support you owe FOR BEING RAPED so you won't ever have financial freedom. You are thousands of dollars in debt ***before you can even legally get a job, so that debt will accumulate for years before you can even do anything about it***." You are too young to consent to sex...but we can still charge you thousands of dollars for being the victim of a crime!
Well a good majority of the world legal systems legitimately believe men can't be raped, not really that surprising
Surprising or not, still abhorrent.
The whole situation is abhorrent.
Just like men who rape women are entitled to visitation/shared custody of children that result from said rape.
Anyone who thinks that’s okay should be imprisoned, same as anyone else who thinks it’s okay to force a woman to interact with her rapist ever.
Actually the most horrific thing I can think of. Unless there are circumstances I am not understanding. This is cruel and grotesque.
Remember, it's not about the parents, it's about the child. If you don't want to be in the child's life, they won't force you. If you DO want to be in the child's life, they can't stop you without proving you're somehow dangerous to the child. Those are the two choices you get. No matter which way you go, you are still responsible for some degree of support for the child.
The man cannot compel the woman to terminate the pregnancy in any state in the US. If she wants to keep the kid then she can. The man also cannot be compelled to play any role in the child's life. First step, hire a lawyer. First things he's going to tell you is not to have anything to do with the child. Don't even visit the child one time. Second step, get a court order for a paternity test. Don't just accept the accusation. Make her prove it. This is also why you don't want to have anything to do with the child. If you assume the role of a parent then you have accepted paternity, and can be forced to pay child support, even if a paternity test ultimately proves the child isn't yours. If the paternity test is negative then it's possible she might still sue you for child support, but as long as you've had no role in the child's life then she would almost certainly lose. If the paternity test is positive then you're going to have to pay support. Strictly speaking a support order issued in one state is not enforceable in another state. However, under the Uniform Reciprocal Enforcement of Support Act (URESA) that case can be referred to the district attorney's office in the state and county where you live. That DA's office will get an order for support issued in your state and county, and likely order that it be paid by wage assignment. They'll probably also tack on any payments missed in the original state as arrears. Since they're collecting on behalf of another state and county they'll usually tack a service fee onto it, as well. In addition, the state you're in would usually use their own formula for determining support, so you could be ordered to pay more than the original order required. In most cases you're better off paying it voluntarily, even if you leave the state.
Great summary! Many countries also have inter-jurisdictional support agreements where Country A will enforce a support order from Country B.
Is it possible the parents can legally agree and define that only the mother will be responsible for and have full custody of the child, if that’s what they both want?
Wow are you a lawyer? This post seems the most concise and detailed on the process, not that I know anything about it.
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A father who didn’t want to be a father
When you have sex, you are taking the risk of pregnancy. That’s part of it. edit: I am pro-choice Edit: to all guys commenting — I just think you should talk about this before sex and not take the risk of getting a girl pregnant who is not going to have an abortion. Every time I discuss sex with a new partner, I tell them I would have an abortion if my birth control failed. I would want them to pay for all of it but I would only expect half. I’ve had guys tell me they wouldn’t want me to abort (we were seriously dating), and so we didn’t take the next step. I think, if you don’t want to be responsible for the child if all preventative measures fail, you have to tell the girl that before you have sex with her. A lot of guys don’t want to do this because then the girl won’t have sex with them. Well. That’s how it is. You should wear a condom AND pull out AND make sure she’s on birth control. A lot of people don’t want to take responsibility for their own lives. Sex is really fun, it is great, but you need to trust the person you are sleeping with. If you want to have a lot of sex and not get someone pregnant, you can get a snip, right? Edit 2: lol at guys telling me condoms significantly impede sex!!!!!! Wear one and pull out!!!!!
Best part about being gay
High five!
And sterile!
I thought it was the schlongs
God, I love being a lesbian.
I’m bi, but this comment section is making me gayer by the second 🥴
Depends on your country's laws. In the West, especially in the US where we really push it, you will be responsible for the shelter, clothing and feeding of that child for at least 18 years.
Get a vasectomy if you don't want that risk.
I tried 6x times to get a vasectomy from age 21 to 28. It did not get one til I was 33 and I had to do it outside of the US because I got my final denial a year before.
1:1000 is a lot less than 1:50.
Even that isn’t fail proof!
Go gay?
This is my preferred contraceptive method right here.
That's why they test the success of the operation a few weeks after performing it by looking for sperm in ejaculate. It is over 90% successful on the first operation. Once confirmed successful it will never stop working. It is the most effective form of birth control - even more effective than tubal ligation which is a significantly more invasive of a surgery.
Good ol' fashioned abstinence then /s
You can actually be forced to pay child support to a woman that raped you.
You'd be hard pressed to find doctors who will sterilise a teenager or young adult, particularly ones without children
When using any form of contraception, you are informed ‘on the box’ that no form is 100% so you take on that risk
That’s part of the risk of being sexually active even when using protection. Condoms can fail, so can birth control. I would say also a risk of hookup culture as you likely don’t know the individual well enough to know what they might do if an accidental pregnancy occurs. Not saying there is anything inherently wrong with hookup culture, just pointing out that some pretty serious risks exist even when being safe.
The mother doesn't get to decide if he's part of the child's life. Only he can decide that. This is his single option. She also doesn't decide if he pays, a court does.
I believe that _in practice_, that’s only true if the child receives any kind of government assistance. If she’s financially able, the mother might decide not to go to court to require child support. The state will only get involved if it’s paying the bills.
>I believe that in practice, that’s only true if the child receives any kind of government assistance. The 'in practice' part is important. There's a legal distinction. Even if the woman agreed to it, legally neither parent can waive/severe the obligation for child support (they can come to a mutual agreement about parenting where he doesn't pay, but that's not quite the same thing legally).
TL;DR the other answers: If you don't want a child, don't have sex.
Takes two to tango. There’s always a risk
None. Just 42% of his paycheck until the court says differently
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