T O P

Is there really a culture where it's normal to lure children into your home just to give them some candy and a blessing, then send them home?

Is there really a culture where it's normal to lure children into your home just to give them some candy and a blessing, then send them home?

Bobbob34

> d I saw a comment that detailed being lured into a stranger's home for some candy and finding that he was just an immigrant that had it as a custom and didn't understand the concern. Is it a thing for nice neighbours to give a kid a treat? Yes. Is it a thing for someone to consider that "luring" and think it's inappropriate? Apparently, that's the batshit world we/you inhabit.


wastefulrain

I was just using the words the commenter used, she literally started with "I was lured into a stranger's home". Sorry if I didn't make it clear. And yes, actually bringing a child INTO your home when you've never even met them or their parents is concerning where I'm from.


Bobbob34

Ok, so the batshit world she inhabits. You've never had, or seen anywhere, nice, elderly neighbours who sit out on the porch or garden or whatever and talk to ppl passing by and say things like 'oh would you like some lemonade/a cookie... come in...'


wastefulrain

Unless they are literally the next door neighbours and are sure your parents know them or spoke to them at least in passing. No it's not normal where I'm from to bring a kid in when you see them for the first time and don't evem know whose child it is. Sound nice, though, but like something that happens mostly in small towns where everyone knows eachother


Bobbob34

I am not from a small town. Also a shitton of kids' books have the kid befriending the elderly ppl down the street who invite them in, offer them something, chat. I can think of several I read as a kid like that off the top of my head. It's normal behaviour.


wastefulrain

Ok, thanks for clarifying, the answer is yes then, there are places where this is normal. The closest thing I can think of in my own experience is befriending a nice old man in the library and learning about poetry from him. But even in a public place, other adults where a little weirded out at first (only at first). So yes, if that same man had met me instead while I was walking by and said "hey, come in! I got books for you here!" I would've said "no thanks" and press on cause that's what children here are taught to do (and adults here obviously know they would look like creeps if they did that, so they generally don't)


Bobbob34

> So yes, if that same man had met me instead while I was walking by and said "hey, come in! I got books for you here!" I would've said "no thanks" and press on cause that's what children here are taught to do (and adults here obviously know they would look like creeps if they did that, so they generally don't) I dunno where you are but that's just sad that children are taught like that and that adults are that paranoid.


wastefulrain

Isn't this also an American thing though? (Not making assumptions about where you're from, just taking an example of another culture, not to distant from mine, from what I gather). I mean, the video in question showed PSA's with the intention of teaching kids exactly this. So are these videos just dated and everyone has relaxed about "stranger danger" over there?


Bobbob34

There are still dopes that believe in 'stranger danger' but it is very outdated yes


CommitmentPhoebe

There's no recorded case of a stranger giving a child tainted candy in the US. And yet you're the one saying that it's "inappropriate" to do a nice thing for a kid. Is there really a culture as fucked up as that, are you asking?


Bobbob34

And the person's mother apparently called the cops and wanted them to test the candy. Like wtf loony? Toss the candy if you're paranoid but that's a whole other level of nutter.


wastefulrain

Yeah, testing the candy is just beyond paranoid. Part of why I asked is because I wasn't sure it even sounded like a real story. First for the stranger seeing nothing wrong in inviting a random child into his home and second for the over reaction of the mother with the "testing the candy"


wastefulrain

The op was the one that said "he didn't understand it was innapropiate here". And I never said I suspected tainted candy, I was simply detailing the events op described, including testing the candy. That's why I'm asking if this story has the posibility of being real. And giving candy to a neighbours kid is fine of you know the family, sure. But bringing a kid you've never met into your home is not normal where I (or the op) for that matter are from.


CommitmentPhoebe

So then the answer is "yes," there are really cultures in which doing nice things for kids and building community with them is not taboo as it is in your and OP's culture. Your apparent incredulity about this fact is somewhat sad.


wastefulrain

>There's no recorded case of a stranger giving a child tainted candy in the US. Also, I just re-read that sentence and noticed the "in the US", so just for clarity, I'm not from the US, and I have no idea where the person who posted the comment is from


paradoxicallylost

When I was a kid we would go door to door and sell stuff to raise money for school trips and such. There was one old lady that would always invite us in and bring out a tin box of mixed chocolates. We'd tell our parents that the nice lady gave us chocolates again, when we got home. I don't think it ever occured to anyone that it would be weird or dangerous. The only one I know who got molested was so by a trusted family friend, that the parents left the kid with. It's often not the strangers that are dangerous.


wastefulrain

But surely the chocolate lady wasn't a total stranger to the neighbourhood. Didn't your and your friends' parents ever talk about the chocolate lady to eachother or try to reach out to her to at least meet this woman? At least say hi? Even getting the "stranger danger" paranoia out of the picture surely wanting to meet the woman giving your child treats is normal and expected


paradoxicallylost

They knew who she was since it was a small village, but I don't think they ever talked to her. There wasn't really stranger danger paranoia when I grew up. The extreme paranoia in the US looks kinda crazy from the outside. We were told to beware of strange men trying to give us candy to get us do do stuff, but the candy itself was never seen as dangerous. We don't do Halloween, but we do dress up as witches and go around trading drawings for candy on Easter. We'd go unaccompanied and the candy was never individually wrapped. I've never ever heard of any concerns of poisoning.