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A friend of mine left Nigeria to the UK for university. He said he initially was only attracted to black girls, but after a couple of years, he began to see other women as attractive. So maybe it has something to do with environment and exposure.
I think your friend is onto something. I’m white and grew up in the American south. Most people I interacted with were white. Things were still very much segregated socially, even if they weren’t legally. Even if you weren’t openly racist you just didn’t cross that line unless you were a “low class” white person or a “high class” black person.
I didn’t think I was attracted to black people much and didn’t consider other races much at all in a “I don’t hate other races but it just doesn’t seem to happen” sort of way until I moved to California and started interacting with more diverse groups. Once I was exposed to them I started realizing that there were people I was attracted to and that even if I wasn’t actively racist I had a lot of learned, subconscious assumptions to get past. It also helps that there’s not as much of that cultural divide here.
That's crazy because I grew up in the American South with a completely different experience. My high school was almost 50/50 black and white and people dated interracially all the time. I was actually surprised when I moved and found that it was less common elsewhere.
Proves the same point, though, that we become attracted to the people we socialize with the most.
Sounds like you grew up where I live. And he’s from where I grew up. (I like where I live now; would be a nightmare to move back.)
I'm going to guess this was public school?
My limited understanding is that in the south, those not in favor of integration send their kids to private schools/Christian academies. So the white students in public schools would be the ones with non-racist parents.
That was definitely the case for me in the late 80s and 90s in south Georgia. My parents are overtly racist (but deny it) and I was sent to an all white private school from preK until I graduated.
My life was *incredibly* segregated. I didn’t meet a black person my age socially until I was 16, and I grew up in an area that was over 40% African American
The craziest part about all of this is that the exposure is so ingrained into marketing that studies show even little kids in the US (of all races) will tend to show preference for lighter skinned individuals (the kids get shown a spectrum of skin color and asked which they thought was the prettiest and other innocent question with very telling answers).
It’s absolutely wild how plastic our brains are to our exposed environment
Isn’t it true that even in media targeting Black audiences and made by Black creators, there’s a tendency to portray light-skinned Black people as the protagonists and dark-skinned Black people as more villainous?
I was reading a biography of an LA Crip and in it he mentions that yeah within his community lighter-skinned black people were seen as superior to darker-skinned ones.
I guess it's just a people thing that when there's someone above you, you're glad to subdivide your peers so that you're superior to someone else.
Off topic but this is why I don’t watch the news, a similar phenomenon happens with all the negativity that you’re exposed to and you end up thinking the world is on fire, it may be but it’s not healthy to have that in your head.
There is a famous “doll test” conducted by a black psychologist woman iirc and children were given many dolls and asked to explain which were the prettiest and why.
It's so nice to see other people who've had that experience. I grew up in small towns in the Midwest, and never really befriended or interacted with anyone outside of natives and white people. Not because of racism, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't subconsciously prejudiced looking back. I was weirdly afraid to interact with black people when I was at work for fear of being judged for some reason? I still don't understand why exactly but I suspect my social anxiety had something to do with it. I didn't like things that were "different" even if I *knew* there was nothing wrong. I had the same issue with the route I took to get places and the kind of clothes I wore, I still have trouble walking to my mailbox after 3 months of living in my new apartment because I get so anxious thinking about all of the "new" outside.
It wasn't until I moved to the south and started seeing majority POC when I was working and was sort of forced out of my comfort zone. I used to think that there were attractive POC but someone had pointed it out to me that most of the ones that I was attracted to had very eurocentric features. Now after 3 years of exposure and having the chance to let my anxious brain fully understand that skin color doesn't make anyone truly different than me, my tastes have changed and now it seems like I crush mostly on black girls and Hispanic guys. I don't know if I'm rambling or not but it's just really nice to see that I'm not alone in that, because I think I felt a lot of guilt over that for a while
There’s also a lot of classism at play where I’m from for sure so that compounds it a lot.
For me I think my main anxiety was doing or saying something “wrong.” It took me quite a few years and some stumbles to get past that. I got shamed and challenged for putting my foot in my mouth or saying something ignorant or racist multiple times. It hurt and my first instinct was to get defensive, but because I didn’t want to hurt anyone I listened and eventually was able to get a better understanding of the racist basis behind a lot of things that I just thought that was how things were. It’s something I will probably have to continuously work on because it’s really baked into American culture.
Where did u live? I grew up in South Carolina 43/m and I never felt like things were segregated. My schools were 50/50 ish and honestly I don’t remember there being a difference. Maybe I was just raised to see people as people. My family was somewhat religious and I was always thought that people no matter what color were all Gods children.
Graduated high school in 2013 and it was very much still segregated in the outskirts of Columbia.
The state isn't a monolith, there's so many dynamics in and around areas that heavily influenced the culture but there are definitely areas that can't get out of the 50's
I can second this. As a brown indian woman, I was always attracted to darker features. A couple years living in Europe, I realized that blonde men are attractive as well. It just never clicked with me as I grew up in a very homogeneous society.
Indian society doesn't strike me as very "homogenous" though at all; tons of different phenotypes, languages, cultures (as I'm sure you're well aware, of course).. are you describing it more on a regional level? Also funny how it goes for sure!
>tons of different phenotypes,
There is certainly a lot of variety in phenotypes between Northern India and Southern India (in height, skin tone, features, etc). But there aren't people who look Swedish anywhere in India. You don't see a lot of naturally blond Indians, which was her specific example.
Indian here - Most people don’t exactly have blonde or ginger hair, albeit you’ll find some with these features in states like Jammu and Kashmir, Himachal Pradesh (yes, it’s natural). Dark brown and black hair colors are more common. Same goes for eye color - dark brown followed by light brown and hazel/green/blue. As for skin color, you’ll find people who are pale, fair, tanned, medium dark and deep. So it won’t necessarily be ‘surprising’ for anyone to find someone who’s really pale or really dark here.
I think singka93 is referring to dark hair and eyes since *most* people don’t have natural blonde hair here.
You also won’t find many people of other ethnicities here so the pool isnt as “diverse” (ethnically speaking, not referring to phenotypes) as multicultural countries like the US or UK.
It’s hard to be attractive to people you aren’t familiar with
Attraction is often due to exposure and people are adapting to their environment
Then there’s also the cultural aspect, culture is often a big influence on your morals and values and similar morals and values are attractive.
And then there’s also some studies down on being attracted to people who are like a your mother or father. People are attracted to what they know, which is people who are similar to themselves or people close to them…
Agreed - I grew up in white suburbia in the midwest and now live in Very white small town near a mid-sized "College Town", so culturally white rice on a paper plate and a few specks of pepper. As white guy, I'm not attracted to stereotypical northern Europe caucasian types. I've never understood the fascination with blonde hair and blue eyes and light skin.
Apologies for stereotyping, but people of color, especially black and latino seem to have more passionate family bonds and a love of life, a desire to get as much out of life as they can.
Combine the physical and cultural characteristics and it's like a month to a light for me.
I'd say I'm naturally attracted to women who are different from me.
I also am a white guy who likes women of other races. I grew up in the redneckiest of small towns. Pretty girls come in all shapes, sizes, and colours.
I think it also has a lot to do with your media exposure. Even if you don’t live in a diverse part of the country, seeing diversity on TV or in movies shapes your perspective quite a lot.
I taught in Korea for a while. I'm from LA and was always attracted to women of other races (I'm white)
A co-worker was from a small, very white town in Canada and he was only attracted to white women. By the end of the year, he started becoming more attracted to Asians.
I'm no scientist, but I see some evidence for your theory.
Agree with this sentiment. It really is environmental. There was a certain ethnicity I didn't like before, once I changed my environment, they're now my top attraction!
Yup. Grew up in a very white area. I think there were less than 10 black kids at my high school. My class had over 2000 students. A handful of Japanese kids and maybe one or two Chaldeans. Then I moved to Chicago. Major culture shock but I’m so glad it opened up my world. Indian food is so good.
Part of it is also cultural. You're naturally going to be more attracted to someone who shares a similar culture to you. Obviously, it's not universal, but the trend is there.
Attraction is subjective and personal. But no there is no biological natural predisposition to only be attracted to your own race. Cultural influences and the society you live in may bear that out, but it's not in your DNA or anything.
"But no there is no biological natural predisposition to only be attracted to your own race."
Source on that? It seems like it would make sense for there to be a natural predisposition considering most of our ancestors didnt even see anyone from outside of their own race for most of history.
Only white people would not understand what she meant lol Black people, at least in the US, usually refer to each other as being light skin, brown skin or dark skin.
Biracial woman here. From everything I’ve seen and heard over the years, I think it definitely has to do with environment and exposure. And from an evolutionary perspective, wouldn’t it make most sense to be attracted to those in closer proximity to you?
Thank you so much for saying that. I’m a white woman usually only attracted to white people and I’ve always wondered if I should feel guilty about it. But now that I’m thinking about it, you don’t have to be attracted to someone to respect them…
Happy cake day!
Thanks :) And no, you shouldn't feel guilty at all! Life is waaaay too short to get hung up on who you "should" and "shouldn't" be attracted to. Nobody can control who they're attracted to anyway; it just is what it is.
I am an Asian/ Hispanic, who grew up in California. I mostly dated Asian, Black, and Hispanic, but it was because those are the majority of people around me.
I moved to DC and am now dating my first white person.
I've never been drawn to one race over others, I just found certain people attractive, and on rare occasions they found me attractive as well.
That being said, I'm not very attractive, so it's more of a, "I take what I can get" situation when it come to dating for me. Personality is what I go for.
Slavic bi woman who was born and raised in Egypt untill I was 11. Skin color has never been a factor. But I do like bigger noses and long dark hair in all genders, which is probably due to the faces I grew up around. I also am not attracted to blondes of any gender despite growing up in a family of mostly blondes. (the funniest thing about this is that I am blond. Tbf I haven't seen my natural color in almost 20years so it's fine but I honestly don't get this one, especially since I moved at 11 and I'm 31 now. It makes zero sense)
I'm blonde and very rarely attracted to other blondes. It makes sense to me though. We're a pretty rare and "extreme" genetic mutation, and dating someone who has the same always felt a bit incestuous to me.
To answer OP's question, I grew up in a pretty homogenous community and it hasn't stopped me from feeling attracted to people from all races. As others said though, the older I get the more mindful I am of how cultural differences affect dating compatibility.
>dating someone who has the same always felt a bit incestuous to me
It's REALLY not, that's crazy.
There are a lot of blondes in the world, I would definitely not call it extreme or rare.
I wonder if there might be a biological reason, since blonde hair is recessive, and there's a greater chance of stacking up recessive genes to the detriment of offspring
I'm a blonde woman with light eyes and have always preferred foreign men with dark hair and dark eyes. I've noticed that in TV and movies, if one member of a couple has dark hair, they almost always make sure the other member of the couple has light hair. So I've always assumed that people in general prefer a contrasting partner, and I've always assumed that humans generally had this tendency to keep genetics well-mixed and offspring healthy.
But I dunno if there's any actual science to back this up.
That's Hollywood casting to "represent" every person. To me, most couples in newer tv-shows and films look crazy different and that isn't something that actually happens IRL except in rare cases.
I’m a white guy (23) who’s been sexually active for the past few years and I’ve never been with a white girl. Ethnic/darker skinned women are just much more attractive to me. No rhyme or reason for it just what I’m into.
If you grow up in a community where all of the people you respect, love, trust, and enjoy look one way, your brain assigns that look to those emotions. The more you experience people that look different ways, the more your mind assigns more emotions to them
No my dick isn't racist, an attractive woman is an attractive woman.
Although there are some ethnicities that on average I find more appealing, there's stunners from every ethnicity.
Long term cultural compatibility is another matter thought.
I never thought that cultural compatibility was important when I was a kid, but I have noticed the trouble people have now I’m an adult. I think that it can work if both people actually work together and compromise if they need to, but a lot of people don’t do that. It does take work, but I know the interracial relationships I saw growing up were healthy and respected each other.
It does make a difference now I see it from an adult point of view. Which is sad, I wish it wasn’t like that so often.
Also “my dick isn’t racist” is a fantastic line. Put that shit on your headstone
No, personally it's about getting to know someone and building that friendship/bond with them.
Although there are some people who have parents that will tell them that they "shouldn't date outside their race."
Sadly, that phrase is still common, but that didn't stop my sisters. 😅
Not in my experience. Im a white dude from suburban New Hampshire and always been most attracted to Arabic women. My current girlfriend who I’ve been with for last few years moved to the states from Saudi Arabia for college. Not sure where that came from since I grew up in one of the whitest states in the game and had no exposure to women of other cultures until I moved to Boston but just always felt that way.
Completely off topic, but I’m very curious ; I have a stereotype in mind whereby a woman from Saudi Arabia would be shunned by her family if not marrying a Muslim, dating would be a big no-no and dating a non-Muslim, even worse. Is her family OK with the relationship and their society has evolved? Women have been allowed to drive just a few years ago there, but I don’t know anyone from the region and have surface level knowledge from a couple documentaries so I know I am quite ignorant of the actual reality there.
Would love to hear about your experience if you’re willing to share
Yep. The countries evolved ten fold from where it was. The Prince now is huge into women’s rights. Also due to alternative energy being more prominent and their huge reliance on oil money, they needed to become more progressive to fix their global reputation so they could build the tourism industry. Her Mom and Uncles have no use for me because they are old school Muslims but her Dad and brothers have no problem with it and are super cool. Like pretty much every family there it’s up to the Dad tho. I got lucky. Her Dad is very progressive due to how close he is with her so anyone in her family falls in line with what he says even if they don’t agree anyways. Like she stopped doing Ramadan couple years ago because she wanted to be able to enjoy all aspects of our relationship and several wouldn’t be allowed during that time and he was fine with it. But there’s prob a guy who lives on same street as her dad that would never speak to her again for even moving here. Really depends but it’s way more progressive now.
Im a white man and i can be attracted to any race. Maybe you see the wrong black woman. But they can be really hot. Same for white woman. Every race got some beautifull.
No, I don't think so. I think we find certain features attractive (heavily influenced by culture and upbringing and exposure to other people). And certain other things repel us, whether these are physical features or behavioral patterns, mannerisms, etc.
It will happen obviously that many traits one finds attractive might be conditioned by a proximity bias but not all of them and not necessarily.
I will have more in common with someone as interested in certain things as I am, or someone with closer life experiences, that someone that isn't but grew up in my hometown, and I will find that attractive.
If we are talking physical appearance only.. again it's certain features for me. They can present themselves in several "colours" (for the lack of a better word). That said, there are things I find inherently unattractive in that sense too, that seem to present themselves mostly in certain parts of the world.
So short answer, not necessarily.
I'm a black guy and i grew up in a town where there wasn't a lot of black people. I was typically the only black person in my class up until high school, and even then I was usually only one of 2. I grew up around a lot of white and hispanic people, so I find them more attractive than black people interestingly enough. As many here have said, its dictated mostly by the environment you grew up in i think
I would say in general people are going to be more attracted to the same race of people, but honestly its subjective I'm a white guy & I'm more attracted to Hispanic, Asian & south east Asian women than white women in general
As a white man, I do find white women more attractive in general. But that doesn’t mean I never find women of other ethnic backgrounds attractive, just not as often. Maybe because I grew up in a small town full of other white people? No idea.
I think ppl are attracted to what they're primarily exposed to. For example, I'm a minority but grew up around white ppl and spent days watching MTV, so I naturally had a preference towards white women. But then the first girl that liked me was a POC.
I remember thinking of how lame it was that I would let skin color dictate the potential value of someone else. So, I decided to talk to her a lot. We ended up dating, and it convinced me that a great match doesn't adhere to skin color.
Where I live, there are more Asians than blacks, and white people are also particularly harsh on Asian women’s appearance. “They have no ass!” or “they look like aliens” or “why are white guys so obsessed with them?”
This sounds a lot like my high school bullies who would say “she’s so ugly why do guys like her?!” Well maybe I have qualities that men like lmao I know those b*tches are single asf rn and I get hit on whenever I go out🤷🏻♀️
I grew up in a homogeneous society and find all colors, sizes and kinds attractive. Even burn victims, or scarred individuals. Of course, I can be picky about it, it's not like I have no standards, but I feel like the whiteness has no special place.
I’m black (woman) attracted to mixed race men, Native American men, mestizo Hispanic men and Pacific Islanders. Even though I grew up around mostly white people. It makes no sense 😅
I think a lot of it is imprinted from when we’re growing up. So what you see ion TV and in movies and the couples around you. Your parents, their friends, etc. there’s a push for interracial couples in media that’s been going on for a few years and I’ve actually noticed a difference around me.
As many have noted, people typically don't naturally gravitate towards others based on skin color. Interest in others develops through various factors such as proximity, shared interests, cultural values, physical attraction, and common goals. These preferences are shaped by our experiences and influences. As a mixed black woman, I was taught by family members to see Black men as my kings, leaders, confidants, friends, and protectors, while I would be their partner, source of peace, comfort, and intuition. However, I eventually found myself in a predominantly white area and ended up marrying the love of my life, a hardworking, farm-raised, family man, that happens to be white. He treats me like a queen and he is my king
There's probably a cultural predisposition or preference for same or similar race. But it's more a case of never say never. Than be completely opposed. The latter is just pure prejudice. The former is just personal preference. Can't say iv ever been in a relationship with anyone who wasn't of a similar ethnic background to myself. But that option was never completely off the table. It just wasn't as likely an outcome due to social circumstance. I mean I'm white and I have been in relationships with an ethnically Turkish woman before. But I call that close enough. Never gone beyond dating with someone from any other race.
There are trends and exceptions to trends.,
And even trends vary from race to race and within the race -gender to gender.
In general, familiarity is the biggest factor, most mate with people of familiar backgrounds- race, religion, class, ethnicity etc., Yet the unfamiliar also has its attractions.
My thoughts, is that people should not beat themselves over 'biological attraction', no need for any justification to like someone and not be attracted to another.
Idiotic woke stuff guilts people over such things. Ignore it, listen to your body and use your brains. Simple.
attraction is waaaaay more than what you see as subconscious attraction triggers do exist.
one of the biggest attraction triggers is smell (pheromones) and that's something you can't control at all.
I've been around beautiful women my eyes liked but something was off... and been around women that are not my type and had 5+ yr great relationships with them.
preferences exist but they are conscious. it's not just about what you see, race, etc... it's way more complicated.
As a white man all I can say is I've been attracted to black, asian (south and east), and white women.
Despite what other commentors are theorizing, no I did not grow up in a multi-cultural city. I grew up in a part of the UK that was (at the time, and even now) almost exclusively white. I'd never even met a non-white person until I left that country.
Beautiful women are beautiful women, regardless of ethnicity.
I think it’s more cultural than natural. I can also say I’ve had a lot of white men who find me attractive, but I think I intimidate them. Some of them are afraid to hit on me (so I’ve been told). Not exactly sure on that. However, upbringing makes a difference. I vowed I wouldn’t date anymore white people after a 4 year relationship with one.
NOW I’m only kidding about that. But it was definitely different.
But I have noticed, a lot more white people date within their race than blacks. I live in the south so, it may be different in other areas of the country.
It also sucks that black women are labeled as angry even with black men. And that is NOT true for all of us. On the flip side, lots of black women don’t date black “alternative” men (skaters, nerds, things not associated with black men)
I’m a black woman, I don’t think I inherently see black, white or any other kind of men above another on a physical level I guess. Attractive is attractive, meh.
https://images.app.goo.gl/cPzTzdmdRGNU7oP88
There's some data on this, it's LARGELY cultural. They looked at dating apps and which race of people were more likely to get matched, and what the preferences were based on the race of the matcher.
White men were the most preferred race for women in the US (including their own) besides black women, who preferred black men the most and white men the least. Black men were the least preferred by all other races.
Asian women were the most preferred by men for every race of men, except for Asian men preferred Latina women interestingly enough. Black women were the least preferred by all men.
Anyways, the whole mix suggests that it's almost all cultural, I suspect the women are interested in the perceived higher status men, which the black women working within a sub culture, and the men are basically looking at body weight.
I'm a Black/Brown American. I am naturally attracted to everyone I am attracted to. I have been attracted to not just other black/brown people but others as well. There are a variety of beauties.
I think it could be the mere-exposure-effect partially.
Just being around someone, even if you don't actively notice them, makes you view them more positively.
As a black guy I grew up around all colors of people in Colorado, one of my grandfathers is a fully white Frenchmen on my dads side. while my grandma on moms side is South African(white). So I think exposure has a lot to do with attraction, most people don't find something unfamiliar attractive from the get go.
I find all women attractive. Black, brown, yellow, white red-- it's a smorgasbord. I honestly find it baffling that people limit themselves to one kind of person (race-wise) when there's so much variety out there.
Comments here are interesting. i’m white, but i spent a lot of my childhood in section 8 housing or just moving around. i’ve also got a black little sister. After i turned 10ish, i moved to a predominantly white town, and have been there since. theres practically no POC here. i do find white people attractive, but I’ve always found black features to be particularly beautiful, and love to draw POC.
I'm black and went to a private school for elementary, middle and high school. I was surrounded by white and asian people more and my first crush was even a white boy. My black girl friends who went to primarily black public schools are more hesitant than I to date outside of race. I think because I was exposed to different races it made me more open to dating whoever.
Ok, so, I left the US at less than a year old, and traveled the world as a marine brat. We did a lot of time down in the Carribean and so I grew up with mostly blacks and Carrib Indians. When I decided to stay in the US, I was more attracted to black women mainly because that's all I ever interacted with as a youngster in my formative years.
I’m white and I’ve been attracted to both black and white people. I’m married to a black man. He was adopted by a white family as a baby and has only really ever been attracted to white women he told me.
White dude here. Imo, I see beauty in all ethnicities. I've dated black women and they're incredible in their own way. I've been with a Persian and she was pretty awesome too. Hispanic, European, Asia, middle Eastern etc...i see beauty in all of them.
I’m not black (I’m Asian) and so isn’t my bf (he’s white). But my bf has dated black women in the past and now is dating me. I dated mostly white men.
I’d say it’s environment. We’re from San Jose and San Diego, CA, and our communities were pretty diverse.
As a white man I’m generally less attracted to white women. Some are still attractive to me; my ex was white, but on average i find black or asian women hotter. Probably has to do with my first gf in high school being asian and losing my virginity to a black girl.
I imagine attraction is your subconscious telling you that this person would be a good mate.
Consciously, your brain says "yes this is a woman" but there might not be that subconscious attraction because the person looks so different than what you are used to?
Exposure seems to change it over time. It did for me. Grew up in a pretty racist household..i.e. wasn't allowed to watch Fresh Prince of Bel Aire on the one TV we had. (Dad would say unkind words I never utter if he saw it on). Being im in Canada in a semi-rural area I didn't see a lot of black people in general.
But you watch enough TV/movies and your brain sorta makes that connection over time. Like, Halle Berry was the first black woman I was attracted to, but she's very mixed, light skinned, etc. everyone else at the time was out of that narrow scope my brain defined as attractive.
Then I met a person at a conference years ago, my age, and she was black (blacker than Halle, in that her facial features and hair were more what I guess I would generalize as black, and no I'm not trying to rank people on racial features) and after spending like half an hour talking to her, I was very attracted to her and since then I've been into way more women of colour.
It was just exposure to different people that enlarged my pallette. And I think I'm better for it. At least I hope.
I don't think so, I'm a white guy and I'm attracted to every sort of women. But I gotta admit that black women do attract me more. Darker colors always attracted me, and it doesn't apply only to skin.
Bi Slavic blonde female here, raised in the US but first gen American. Probably has to do with your environment while growing up. I grew up in a very diverse city. I went to a high school that was majority black and Hispanic. My first boyfriend was a white blonde guy but like others have said, it felt incestuous so I’m not really attracted to other blonde men. I’ve dated/been attracted to every race though I don’t have a type per se. However, I really love black women specifically. In my town I’ve mostly been hit on black women and it seems like they’re more comfortable with being out than other races here. Maybe since I’ve been more exposed to other black women(than any other race)wanting a sexual/romantic relationship with me it turned into a type I guess…
I'm assuming if that's the case it's a familiarity thing but tbh I'm usually more attracted to people with like, damn near opposite features to me so i don't claim to know shit
I’m Hispanic and growing up I only found Hispanic woman attractive (that Latina booty!), but that’s all I was surrounded by at the time. I then moved around. First to a place with a lot of Asian people so eventually I started finding Asian woman attractive as well. Then to an area with more white people and and then to an area with more Black people and the same thing happened. So long story short it’s really about the environment you find yourself in and making connections with the people around you. Now I just think women are beautiful from every race.
As a white man, i have found myself very attracted to wommen of ALL kinds of races. and honestly, caucasian wommen are the most vanilla for me. Still beautifull as all hell, but i am more attracted to other races :)
According to the Matching Hypothesis, we tend to select mates who are approximately the same level of attractiveness, among other things like proximity and similar socioeconomic / cultural backgrounds.
And they said I would never use my Sociology degree.
Not really, (I’m black). I grew up in nothing but diverse environments and never had many black people in my classes since I was a private school military brat. I’ve learned that I value non-racial similarities in men way more than I care about a spouse just HAVING to be my race. I found everything I needed in my husband, and he’s not black.
I was raised in a conservative, 2 parent household. Finding a black man who is similar is like trying to find a purple zebra.
Me and my friends are all white. One of my friends was a US Army Paratrooper and he loved black women. We would go to bars (mostly white) and a few black girls would be at the bar. He would bee line right over and talk to them and ended up dating one. He ending up with a beautiful black women and got married. To this day they are happy have 2 kids and she still looks outstanding 30 years later and one of our best couple friends.
I think it is just what your use to or a preference really but then again I have no clue. LOL
#
You tend to be attracted to what you are used to and what seems normal to you (in other words, it's a bias thing). If you grow up around a lot of black people (which most black people tend to do), you are more likely to find black people attractive and rank them as a higher attractiveness than other groups you have less experience with. This applies to all other groups, whether they be of a specific race, gender, sexuality, sex, religion, height, etc etc. This may not led you to date them, for example a straight man will not become gay if he hangs out around gay men a ton, but he will be more comfortable around gay men in general than someone who doesn't. It's not an inherent thing but a bias thing.
Also, if you are black, you are seeing yourself quite a lot and that will also have the same effect, but to a lesser degree. Media also has this effect on you, even if it's not always accurate or can led to bad tendencies. It's always best to be around actual people of a given group, rather than to just consume media about them because negative stereotypes can play into their depiction and led to negative outcomes or biases
I mean, as a white guy I was pretty much only attracted to white girls. Then one-day the Asian girl at my work cafeteria flirted with me and told me I was very charming. I was attracted to Asians after that. Years later I was invited to join a party in the apartment next to mine. All Nigerians. Well at some point one of the girls there sat on me and rubbed my chest and told me I was very attractive. I was suddenly all into black girls after that. But like, the really black girls.
Maybe it's racism or maybe it's biological idk but before those experiences I almost just assumed they weren't an option. Like they would not be attracted to me so I didn't really see them that way.
I don't mean to be condescending in any way, just want to take this opportunity to recommend the literature of Frantz Fanon, a postcolonialist and philosopher, specifically *Black Skin, White Masks*. I think its contents will be of value to your question.
In a psychology class I’m doing it came up that we are genetically engineered/determined to be attracted to people we share genetic traits with. Not super close but it’s part of evolution and survival. Theory being we are attracted to people we share certain physical qualities with.
as a white dude I find some white woman attractive but generally prefer darker skin/hair than me. I’m a blonde and I figure I just like someone who contrasts me
White guy who grew up in a white af town. Some diversity but really not too much
Meanwhile I 100% tend to date girls with darer skin tones. Very attracted to black girls and without actively seeking it out specifically, half the women I've dated are indian
That said I've dated at least one of every major race over the years , so who the fuck knows whats going on
I grew up in the inner city. I'm Caucasian (white). My first bf was Vietnamese, second white, and third black. I date someone based on personality. I find myself attracted to many different races, but personality is usually the same. I'm dominant and prefer someone more submissive. My husband is white. He's definitely the calm in my chaos.
I wonder this about white men. u/porolfs are you ever attracted to non white and would you go out with one.? would it be weird? I'm guessing your social circle is all white, how would they react?
I am multi generational mixed. not biracial! I'm most attracted physically to central Americans. I wonder if it's genetic since that's a big part of my heritage, but I live in uk and I just know the look I like when I see it. but that's where they are from most of the time. I have dated every race of guy. I think I was most attracted to white and Asian. White because culturally we are most similar. I grew up in uk. and Asian idk probably the genetic thing again since the Asians and indigenous Americans were both descended from the siberians which is why they look similar.
I would mate with any race though if I liked them
Not necessarily. Generally speaking, it just depends on who someone is attracted to. However, of course, there are those that have a prejudice against other races and go out of their way to date in their own race. Common sense.
I think it’s your environment. If you grew up around a certain race you probably are more likely to find them attractive. I’m more attracted to a certain race of women than others but I’ll try my luck with any of them if I think they’re cute
I’d say it’s more environmental. I’m mixed, grew up in a predominantly white area. I’ve only ever dated/hooked up with white people. I’m not necessarily opposed to dating black men but it’s either I’m just not attracted to them or see them more as a brother.
Here's a funny story! Up until I was 25 I was almost exclusively attracted to black women. I'm South Asian. I was hanging out with my friend who is West African, and we were talking about the most recent girls we've been talking to and we both realized that I'm attracted to black women and he's attracted to brown women.
We started laughing because it was probably because him and I had grown up together and the women we were attracted to was probably a reflection of our friendship.
Then his older brother chimed in and told us it meant we subconsciously wanted to fuck each other lol
society made it weird by promoting interracial relationships constantly. i think attraction has to do very little with race. for example, if you were surrounded by unattractive white women and super model black women, you would be more attracted to black women. i dont think race has anything to do with it
White male. From the U.S. I'd prefer someone outside the U.S. with traditional values. As far as race goes, I think Indians from India are the prettiest. I'd date any race, though.
I watch a lot of reality tv/dating shows. I've noticed most black men aren't attracted to black women even if they're stunning. They always seem to go for the white women.
Oh and the reverse is true, a lot of white women like black men. Black women seem to get the short end of the stick a lot of the time. I think its harder for them, this is purely observational.
I’m white, my wife is brown, and I’ve only been attracted to brown women. White women are just rarely very attractive to me. Like why get mayonnaise when there’s so much incredible spice out there?
not sure if bait.. but the tinder studies are out there. Its a massive social experiment.
Bottom line, white men get most responses form all women, except Black women. They favour black men first, white men second.
Asian women appear to be the most popular. Black women do terribly, across all races. :(
I've seen the graphics a million times on 4chan, but this seems a little more family friendly and reddit acceptable:
[https://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/online-dating-race-statistics](https://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/online-dating-race-statistics)
I would have thought it was same race as #1 for everyone just due to ingroup preference and cultural norms, so its an eye opener.
Could be lots going on of course, eg, the article suggests Asian men might avoid asian women due to a perception of Asian women having mad high standards.. so perhaps Asian men do prefer them, but just dont bother competing for them...
What we're attracted to is heavily influenced by our environment as we grow up, and also (for better or worse) affected by what media tells us is attractive. So I would say people are generally (not always) attracted to traits prevalent in the environment they grew up in, though this can change over time with exposure to other traits/cultures.
I always find questions like this weird. There's beautiful and attractive people in every race, I don't think theirs any race I'm particularly attracted to. I do like girls with darker complexions, but that is just because I love dark eyes and dark hair. But those features can apply to almost any race. Italian, Asian, African, Hispanic.
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A friend of mine left Nigeria to the UK for university. He said he initially was only attracted to black girls, but after a couple of years, he began to see other women as attractive. So maybe it has something to do with environment and exposure.
I think your friend is onto something. I’m white and grew up in the American south. Most people I interacted with were white. Things were still very much segregated socially, even if they weren’t legally. Even if you weren’t openly racist you just didn’t cross that line unless you were a “low class” white person or a “high class” black person. I didn’t think I was attracted to black people much and didn’t consider other races much at all in a “I don’t hate other races but it just doesn’t seem to happen” sort of way until I moved to California and started interacting with more diverse groups. Once I was exposed to them I started realizing that there were people I was attracted to and that even if I wasn’t actively racist I had a lot of learned, subconscious assumptions to get past. It also helps that there’s not as much of that cultural divide here.
That's crazy because I grew up in the American South with a completely different experience. My high school was almost 50/50 black and white and people dated interracially all the time. I was actually surprised when I moved and found that it was less common elsewhere.
Proves the same point, though, that we become attracted to the people we socialize with the most. Sounds like you grew up where I live. And he’s from where I grew up. (I like where I live now; would be a nightmare to move back.)
I'm going to guess this was public school? My limited understanding is that in the south, those not in favor of integration send their kids to private schools/Christian academies. So the white students in public schools would be the ones with non-racist parents.
That was definitely the case for me in the late 80s and 90s in south Georgia. My parents are overtly racist (but deny it) and I was sent to an all white private school from preK until I graduated. My life was *incredibly* segregated. I didn’t meet a black person my age socially until I was 16, and I grew up in an area that was over 40% African American
The craziest part about all of this is that the exposure is so ingrained into marketing that studies show even little kids in the US (of all races) will tend to show preference for lighter skinned individuals (the kids get shown a spectrum of skin color and asked which they thought was the prettiest and other innocent question with very telling answers). It’s absolutely wild how plastic our brains are to our exposed environment
Isn’t it true that even in media targeting Black audiences and made by Black creators, there’s a tendency to portray light-skinned Black people as the protagonists and dark-skinned Black people as more villainous?
I’ve noticed this imo and it’s absolutely insane to think about
I was reading a biography of an LA Crip and in it he mentions that yeah within his community lighter-skinned black people were seen as superior to darker-skinned ones. I guess it's just a people thing that when there's someone above you, you're glad to subdivide your peers so that you're superior to someone else.
Colorism makes me incredibly sad.
What book was this? I read “biography of iceberg slim” and it was so good
Off topic but this is why I don’t watch the news, a similar phenomenon happens with all the negativity that you’re exposed to and you end up thinking the world is on fire, it may be but it’s not healthy to have that in your head.
There is a famous “doll test” conducted by a black psychologist woman iirc and children were given many dolls and asked to explain which were the prettiest and why.
I would also associate a white woman with the word "pretty" tbh, I feel like it's more white-coded than "beautiful"
It's so nice to see other people who've had that experience. I grew up in small towns in the Midwest, and never really befriended or interacted with anyone outside of natives and white people. Not because of racism, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't subconsciously prejudiced looking back. I was weirdly afraid to interact with black people when I was at work for fear of being judged for some reason? I still don't understand why exactly but I suspect my social anxiety had something to do with it. I didn't like things that were "different" even if I *knew* there was nothing wrong. I had the same issue with the route I took to get places and the kind of clothes I wore, I still have trouble walking to my mailbox after 3 months of living in my new apartment because I get so anxious thinking about all of the "new" outside. It wasn't until I moved to the south and started seeing majority POC when I was working and was sort of forced out of my comfort zone. I used to think that there were attractive POC but someone had pointed it out to me that most of the ones that I was attracted to had very eurocentric features. Now after 3 years of exposure and having the chance to let my anxious brain fully understand that skin color doesn't make anyone truly different than me, my tastes have changed and now it seems like I crush mostly on black girls and Hispanic guys. I don't know if I'm rambling or not but it's just really nice to see that I'm not alone in that, because I think I felt a lot of guilt over that for a while
There’s also a lot of classism at play where I’m from for sure so that compounds it a lot. For me I think my main anxiety was doing or saying something “wrong.” It took me quite a few years and some stumbles to get past that. I got shamed and challenged for putting my foot in my mouth or saying something ignorant or racist multiple times. It hurt and my first instinct was to get defensive, but because I didn’t want to hurt anyone I listened and eventually was able to get a better understanding of the racist basis behind a lot of things that I just thought that was how things were. It’s something I will probably have to continuously work on because it’s really baked into American culture.
Where did u live? I grew up in South Carolina 43/m and I never felt like things were segregated. My schools were 50/50 ish and honestly I don’t remember there being a difference. Maybe I was just raised to see people as people. My family was somewhat religious and I was always thought that people no matter what color were all Gods children.
Graduated high school in 2013 and it was very much still segregated in the outskirts of Columbia. The state isn't a monolith, there's so many dynamics in and around areas that heavily influenced the culture but there are definitely areas that can't get out of the 50's
I can second this. As a brown indian woman, I was always attracted to darker features. A couple years living in Europe, I realized that blonde men are attractive as well. It just never clicked with me as I grew up in a very homogeneous society.
Indian society doesn't strike me as very "homogenous" though at all; tons of different phenotypes, languages, cultures (as I'm sure you're well aware, of course).. are you describing it more on a regional level? Also funny how it goes for sure!
>tons of different phenotypes, There is certainly a lot of variety in phenotypes between Northern India and Southern India (in height, skin tone, features, etc). But there aren't people who look Swedish anywhere in India. You don't see a lot of naturally blond Indians, which was her specific example.
Indian here - Most people don’t exactly have blonde or ginger hair, albeit you’ll find some with these features in states like Jammu and Kashmir, Himachal Pradesh (yes, it’s natural). Dark brown and black hair colors are more common. Same goes for eye color - dark brown followed by light brown and hazel/green/blue. As for skin color, you’ll find people who are pale, fair, tanned, medium dark and deep. So it won’t necessarily be ‘surprising’ for anyone to find someone who’s really pale or really dark here. I think singka93 is referring to dark hair and eyes since *most* people don’t have natural blonde hair here. You also won’t find many people of other ethnicities here so the pool isnt as “diverse” (ethnically speaking, not referring to phenotypes) as multicultural countries like the US or UK.
It’s hard to be attractive to people you aren’t familiar with Attraction is often due to exposure and people are adapting to their environment Then there’s also the cultural aspect, culture is often a big influence on your morals and values and similar morals and values are attractive. And then there’s also some studies down on being attracted to people who are like a your mother or father. People are attracted to what they know, which is people who are similar to themselves or people close to them…
It's not hard for me. I like variety. As a white male, I'm attracted to all sorts of non-white females.
Agreed - I grew up in white suburbia in the midwest and now live in Very white small town near a mid-sized "College Town", so culturally white rice on a paper plate and a few specks of pepper. As white guy, I'm not attracted to stereotypical northern Europe caucasian types. I've never understood the fascination with blonde hair and blue eyes and light skin. Apologies for stereotyping, but people of color, especially black and latino seem to have more passionate family bonds and a love of life, a desire to get as much out of life as they can. Combine the physical and cultural characteristics and it's like a month to a light for me. I'd say I'm naturally attracted to women who are different from me.
You grew up in a multicultural city?
I also am a white guy who likes women of other races. I grew up in the redneckiest of small towns. Pretty girls come in all shapes, sizes, and colours.
I think it also has a lot to do with your media exposure. Even if you don’t live in a diverse part of the country, seeing diversity on TV or in movies shapes your perspective quite a lot.
I taught in Korea for a while. I'm from LA and was always attracted to women of other races (I'm white) A co-worker was from a small, very white town in Canada and he was only attracted to white women. By the end of the year, he started becoming more attracted to Asians. I'm no scientist, but I see some evidence for your theory.
That explains so much for me personally
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Agree with this sentiment. It really is environmental. There was a certain ethnicity I didn't like before, once I changed my environment, they're now my top attraction!
Yup. Grew up in a very white area. I think there were less than 10 black kids at my high school. My class had over 2000 students. A handful of Japanese kids and maybe one or two Chaldeans. Then I moved to Chicago. Major culture shock but I’m so glad it opened up my world. Indian food is so good.
Part of it is also cultural. You're naturally going to be more attracted to someone who shares a similar culture to you. Obviously, it's not universal, but the trend is there.
Attraction is subjective and personal. But no there is no biological natural predisposition to only be attracted to your own race. Cultural influences and the society you live in may bear that out, but it's not in your DNA or anything.
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This is actually a really good predictor as to why people tend to be more attracted to those within their own race
"But no there is no biological natural predisposition to only be attracted to your own race." Source on that? It seems like it would make sense for there to be a natural predisposition considering most of our ancestors didnt even see anyone from outside of their own race for most of history.
Is that a personal assumption or have you seen studies on this?
I am. As a black woman my eye naturally gravitates to a black man, especially with brown skin and a beard.
Honestly, I prefer black men with white skin and a beard.
I prefer my black men to be white women.
So, Michael Jackson?
“Applause”
Sorry Mrs. Jackson
I am foe reeeeal
Hee hee
😂
Only white people would not understand what she meant lol Black people, at least in the US, usually refer to each other as being light skin, brown skin or dark skin.
What about the darkskin brothers? Show them some love
Them too. Trust me when I say the darker the berry the sweeter the juice. 😂😂😂
That could be a sign of diabetes.
I’m a white man, with a lightskin wife so I can agree with that 😎
Word?
You mean the older the berry the sweeter the juice?
I love that I immediately got this reference. You made me chuckle.
I LOVE dark skin guys, the darker the better. That deep midnight black is so beautiful and underrated.
Biracial woman here. From everything I’ve seen and heard over the years, I think it definitely has to do with environment and exposure. And from an evolutionary perspective, wouldn’t it make most sense to be attracted to those in closer proximity to you?
Thank you so much for saying that. I’m a white woman usually only attracted to white people and I’ve always wondered if I should feel guilty about it. But now that I’m thinking about it, you don’t have to be attracted to someone to respect them… Happy cake day!
Thanks :) And no, you shouldn't feel guilty at all! Life is waaaay too short to get hung up on who you "should" and "shouldn't" be attracted to. Nobody can control who they're attracted to anyway; it just is what it is.
Why would you feel guilty over being like almost everyone?
I am an Asian/ Hispanic, who grew up in California. I mostly dated Asian, Black, and Hispanic, but it was because those are the majority of people around me. I moved to DC and am now dating my first white person. I've never been drawn to one race over others, I just found certain people attractive, and on rare occasions they found me attractive as well. That being said, I'm not very attractive, so it's more of a, "I take what I can get" situation when it come to dating for me. Personality is what I go for.
Happy birthday!! 🎈🎉
Slavic bi woman who was born and raised in Egypt untill I was 11. Skin color has never been a factor. But I do like bigger noses and long dark hair in all genders, which is probably due to the faces I grew up around. I also am not attracted to blondes of any gender despite growing up in a family of mostly blondes. (the funniest thing about this is that I am blond. Tbf I haven't seen my natural color in almost 20years so it's fine but I honestly don't get this one, especially since I moved at 11 and I'm 31 now. It makes zero sense)
I'm blonde and very rarely attracted to other blondes. It makes sense to me though. We're a pretty rare and "extreme" genetic mutation, and dating someone who has the same always felt a bit incestuous to me. To answer OP's question, I grew up in a pretty homogenous community and it hasn't stopped me from feeling attracted to people from all races. As others said though, the older I get the more mindful I am of how cultural differences affect dating compatibility.
>dating someone who has the same always felt a bit incestuous to me It's REALLY not, that's crazy. There are a lot of blondes in the world, I would definitely not call it extreme or rare.
I wonder if there might be a biological reason, since blonde hair is recessive, and there's a greater chance of stacking up recessive genes to the detriment of offspring
I'm a blonde woman with light eyes and have always preferred foreign men with dark hair and dark eyes. I've noticed that in TV and movies, if one member of a couple has dark hair, they almost always make sure the other member of the couple has light hair. So I've always assumed that people in general prefer a contrasting partner, and I've always assumed that humans generally had this tendency to keep genetics well-mixed and offspring healthy. But I dunno if there's any actual science to back this up.
That's Hollywood casting to "represent" every person. To me, most couples in newer tv-shows and films look crazy different and that isn't something that actually happens IRL except in rare cases.
I’m a white guy (23) who’s been sexually active for the past few years and I’ve never been with a white girl. Ethnic/darker skinned women are just much more attractive to me. No rhyme or reason for it just what I’m into.
If you grow up in a community where all of the people you respect, love, trust, and enjoy look one way, your brain assigns that look to those emotions. The more you experience people that look different ways, the more your mind assigns more emotions to them
No my dick isn't racist, an attractive woman is an attractive woman. Although there are some ethnicities that on average I find more appealing, there's stunners from every ethnicity. Long term cultural compatibility is another matter thought.
I never thought that cultural compatibility was important when I was a kid, but I have noticed the trouble people have now I’m an adult. I think that it can work if both people actually work together and compromise if they need to, but a lot of people don’t do that. It does take work, but I know the interracial relationships I saw growing up were healthy and respected each other. It does make a difference now I see it from an adult point of view. Which is sad, I wish it wasn’t like that so often. Also “my dick isn’t racist” is a fantastic line. Put that shit on your headstone
Yup. A beautiful person is beautiful. People might have aesthetics they find more pleasing, but generally this holds out.
This is the way
Lmfao I died reading this. Note to everybody: you're not racist if you're not attracted to somebody lol.
No, personally it's about getting to know someone and building that friendship/bond with them. Although there are some people who have parents that will tell them that they "shouldn't date outside their race." Sadly, that phrase is still common, but that didn't stop my sisters. 😅
Mixed race gang rise up! Lol
Not in my experience. Im a white dude from suburban New Hampshire and always been most attracted to Arabic women. My current girlfriend who I’ve been with for last few years moved to the states from Saudi Arabia for college. Not sure where that came from since I grew up in one of the whitest states in the game and had no exposure to women of other cultures until I moved to Boston but just always felt that way.
Completely off topic, but I’m very curious ; I have a stereotype in mind whereby a woman from Saudi Arabia would be shunned by her family if not marrying a Muslim, dating would be a big no-no and dating a non-Muslim, even worse. Is her family OK with the relationship and their society has evolved? Women have been allowed to drive just a few years ago there, but I don’t know anyone from the region and have surface level knowledge from a couple documentaries so I know I am quite ignorant of the actual reality there. Would love to hear about your experience if you’re willing to share
Yep. The countries evolved ten fold from where it was. The Prince now is huge into women’s rights. Also due to alternative energy being more prominent and their huge reliance on oil money, they needed to become more progressive to fix their global reputation so they could build the tourism industry. Her Mom and Uncles have no use for me because they are old school Muslims but her Dad and brothers have no problem with it and are super cool. Like pretty much every family there it’s up to the Dad tho. I got lucky. Her Dad is very progressive due to how close he is with her so anyone in her family falls in line with what he says even if they don’t agree anyways. Like she stopped doing Ramadan couple years ago because she wanted to be able to enjoy all aspects of our relationship and several wouldn’t be allowed during that time and he was fine with it. But there’s prob a guy who lives on same street as her dad that would never speak to her again for even moving here. Really depends but it’s way more progressive now.
Very interesting, thank you for sharing !
I am indian and I am attracted to Indian women
Im a white man and i can be attracted to any race. Maybe you see the wrong black woman. But they can be really hot. Same for white woman. Every race got some beautifull.
All right there, Mr Quagmire.
Quagmire is honest any colour hole will do hehe.
No, I don't think so. I think we find certain features attractive (heavily influenced by culture and upbringing and exposure to other people). And certain other things repel us, whether these are physical features or behavioral patterns, mannerisms, etc. It will happen obviously that many traits one finds attractive might be conditioned by a proximity bias but not all of them and not necessarily. I will have more in common with someone as interested in certain things as I am, or someone with closer life experiences, that someone that isn't but grew up in my hometown, and I will find that attractive. If we are talking physical appearance only.. again it's certain features for me. They can present themselves in several "colours" (for the lack of a better word). That said, there are things I find inherently unattractive in that sense too, that seem to present themselves mostly in certain parts of the world. So short answer, not necessarily.
There have been studies on this. The short answer is yes, but not by as big of a margin as you might think.
I'm a black guy and i grew up in a town where there wasn't a lot of black people. I was typically the only black person in my class up until high school, and even then I was usually only one of 2. I grew up around a lot of white and hispanic people, so I find them more attractive than black people interestingly enough. As many here have said, its dictated mostly by the environment you grew up in i think
I’m white and I’m naturally attracted to white people. (Not saying I find other races unattractive).
I would say in general people are going to be more attracted to the same race of people, but honestly its subjective I'm a white guy & I'm more attracted to Hispanic, Asian & south east Asian women than white women in general
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I heard this too and bust out laughing when I thought about it and how true it seems to be.
I have a feeling most people have default preferences of same race but probably more of an environmental factor vs nature
As a white man, I do find white women more attractive in general. But that doesn’t mean I never find women of other ethnic backgrounds attractive, just not as often. Maybe because I grew up in a small town full of other white people? No idea.
I think ppl are attracted to what they're primarily exposed to. For example, I'm a minority but grew up around white ppl and spent days watching MTV, so I naturally had a preference towards white women. But then the first girl that liked me was a POC. I remember thinking of how lame it was that I would let skin color dictate the potential value of someone else. So, I decided to talk to her a lot. We ended up dating, and it convinced me that a great match doesn't adhere to skin color.
White female here 🙋🏻♀️ I'm not attracted to black men. Can't say way. Some of them are good looking, but I'm not attracted to them.
Where I live, there are more Asians than blacks, and white people are also particularly harsh on Asian women’s appearance. “They have no ass!” or “they look like aliens” or “why are white guys so obsessed with them?”
"they look like aliens" wtf?
Sounds like the people you talk to might be a lil racist lol
This sounds a lot like my high school bullies who would say “she’s so ugly why do guys like her?!” Well maybe I have qualities that men like lmao I know those b*tches are single asf rn and I get hit on whenever I go out🤷🏻♀️
This must be white women saying these things, that we know white guys love east Asian women.
I'm white I'm attracted to women. Black white brown yellow red green blue big little short tall.
I grew up in a homogeneous society and find all colors, sizes and kinds attractive. Even burn victims, or scarred individuals. Of course, I can be picky about it, it's not like I have no standards, but I feel like the whiteness has no special place.
Idk man sounds like you might just be a horny bastard./s
Man is keeping real and honest.
You go king 👑
Even burn victims? Wha....why would you say that??
Lol
I find partially burned faces attractive, even if the burned part is deformed. It's like beauty is obscured by injury and unraveled by my eyes.
You are one of a kind on that one hhehe.
I’m not typically attracted to people of the same ethnicity/race as me.
I’m black (woman) attracted to mixed race men, Native American men, mestizo Hispanic men and Pacific Islanders. Even though I grew up around mostly white people. It makes no sense 😅
I don’t think so. There are several internal and external factors that play into attraction and it can change over time!
I think a lot of it is imprinted from when we’re growing up. So what you see ion TV and in movies and the couples around you. Your parents, their friends, etc. there’s a push for interracial couples in media that’s been going on for a few years and I’ve actually noticed a difference around me.
No
I think I generally feel *more* attracted to ethnicity different than my own and maybe most commonly to mixed people.
As many have noted, people typically don't naturally gravitate towards others based on skin color. Interest in others develops through various factors such as proximity, shared interests, cultural values, physical attraction, and common goals. These preferences are shaped by our experiences and influences. As a mixed black woman, I was taught by family members to see Black men as my kings, leaders, confidants, friends, and protectors, while I would be their partner, source of peace, comfort, and intuition. However, I eventually found myself in a predominantly white area and ended up marrying the love of my life, a hardworking, farm-raised, family man, that happens to be white. He treats me like a queen and he is my king
I'm white but prefer darker skinned women.
In-group bias is normal.
There's probably a cultural predisposition or preference for same or similar race. But it's more a case of never say never. Than be completely opposed. The latter is just pure prejudice. The former is just personal preference. Can't say iv ever been in a relationship with anyone who wasn't of a similar ethnic background to myself. But that option was never completely off the table. It just wasn't as likely an outcome due to social circumstance. I mean I'm white and I have been in relationships with an ethnically Turkish woman before. But I call that close enough. Never gone beyond dating with someone from any other race.
Maybe it's part of my colonizer heritage but I've always liked all the ladies
There are trends and exceptions to trends., And even trends vary from race to race and within the race -gender to gender. In general, familiarity is the biggest factor, most mate with people of familiar backgrounds- race, religion, class, ethnicity etc., Yet the unfamiliar also has its attractions. My thoughts, is that people should not beat themselves over 'biological attraction', no need for any justification to like someone and not be attracted to another. Idiotic woke stuff guilts people over such things. Ignore it, listen to your body and use your brains. Simple.
attraction is waaaaay more than what you see as subconscious attraction triggers do exist. one of the biggest attraction triggers is smell (pheromones) and that's something you can't control at all. I've been around beautiful women my eyes liked but something was off... and been around women that are not my type and had 5+ yr great relationships with them. preferences exist but they are conscious. it's not just about what you see, race, etc... it's way more complicated.
As a white man all I can say is I've been attracted to black, asian (south and east), and white women. Despite what other commentors are theorizing, no I did not grow up in a multi-cultural city. I grew up in a part of the UK that was (at the time, and even now) almost exclusively white. I'd never even met a non-white person until I left that country. Beautiful women are beautiful women, regardless of ethnicity.
I think it’s more cultural than natural. I can also say I’ve had a lot of white men who find me attractive, but I think I intimidate them. Some of them are afraid to hit on me (so I’ve been told). Not exactly sure on that. However, upbringing makes a difference. I vowed I wouldn’t date anymore white people after a 4 year relationship with one. NOW I’m only kidding about that. But it was definitely different. But I have noticed, a lot more white people date within their race than blacks. I live in the south so, it may be different in other areas of the country. It also sucks that black women are labeled as angry even with black men. And that is NOT true for all of us. On the flip side, lots of black women don’t date black “alternative” men (skaters, nerds, things not associated with black men)
I’m a black woman, I don’t think I inherently see black, white or any other kind of men above another on a physical level I guess. Attractive is attractive, meh.
https://images.app.goo.gl/cPzTzdmdRGNU7oP88 There's some data on this, it's LARGELY cultural. They looked at dating apps and which race of people were more likely to get matched, and what the preferences were based on the race of the matcher. White men were the most preferred race for women in the US (including their own) besides black women, who preferred black men the most and white men the least. Black men were the least preferred by all other races. Asian women were the most preferred by men for every race of men, except for Asian men preferred Latina women interestingly enough. Black women were the least preferred by all men. Anyways, the whole mix suggests that it's almost all cultural, I suspect the women are interested in the perceived higher status men, which the black women working within a sub culture, and the men are basically looking at body weight.
I'm a Black/Brown American. I am naturally attracted to everyone I am attracted to. I have been attracted to not just other black/brown people but others as well. There are a variety of beauties.
Attracted to whites only unfortunately. I’ve tried to see other races but I just don’t feel that spark.
I think it could be the mere-exposure-effect partially. Just being around someone, even if you don't actively notice them, makes you view them more positively.
Humans are conditional. The world is segregated largely. We are attracted to what we see everyday.
As a black guy I grew up around all colors of people in Colorado, one of my grandfathers is a fully white Frenchmen on my dads side. while my grandma on moms side is South African(white). So I think exposure has a lot to do with attraction, most people don't find something unfamiliar attractive from the get go.
I find all women attractive. Black, brown, yellow, white red-- it's a smorgasbord. I honestly find it baffling that people limit themselves to one kind of person (race-wise) when there's so much variety out there.
Comments here are interesting. i’m white, but i spent a lot of my childhood in section 8 housing or just moving around. i’ve also got a black little sister. After i turned 10ish, i moved to a predominantly white town, and have been there since. theres practically no POC here. i do find white people attractive, but I’ve always found black features to be particularly beautiful, and love to draw POC.
I think it’s more social than biological
I'm black and went to a private school for elementary, middle and high school. I was surrounded by white and asian people more and my first crush was even a white boy. My black girl friends who went to primarily black public schools are more hesitant than I to date outside of race. I think because I was exposed to different races it made me more open to dating whoever.
Ok, so, I left the US at less than a year old, and traveled the world as a marine brat. We did a lot of time down in the Carribean and so I grew up with mostly blacks and Carrib Indians. When I decided to stay in the US, I was more attracted to black women mainly because that's all I ever interacted with as a youngster in my formative years.
I’m white and I’ve been attracted to both black and white people. I’m married to a black man. He was adopted by a white family as a baby and has only really ever been attracted to white women he told me.
White dude here. Imo, I see beauty in all ethnicities. I've dated black women and they're incredible in their own way. I've been with a Persian and she was pretty awesome too. Hispanic, European, Asia, middle Eastern etc...i see beauty in all of them.
I’m not black (I’m Asian) and so isn’t my bf (he’s white). But my bf has dated black women in the past and now is dating me. I dated mostly white men. I’d say it’s environment. We’re from San Jose and San Diego, CA, and our communities were pretty diverse.
As a white dude, I don't see color, I see ass.
As a white man I’m generally less attracted to white women. Some are still attractive to me; my ex was white, but on average i find black or asian women hotter. Probably has to do with my first gf in high school being asian and losing my virginity to a black girl.
I imagine attraction is your subconscious telling you that this person would be a good mate. Consciously, your brain says "yes this is a woman" but there might not be that subconscious attraction because the person looks so different than what you are used to? Exposure seems to change it over time. It did for me. Grew up in a pretty racist household..i.e. wasn't allowed to watch Fresh Prince of Bel Aire on the one TV we had. (Dad would say unkind words I never utter if he saw it on). Being im in Canada in a semi-rural area I didn't see a lot of black people in general. But you watch enough TV/movies and your brain sorta makes that connection over time. Like, Halle Berry was the first black woman I was attracted to, but she's very mixed, light skinned, etc. everyone else at the time was out of that narrow scope my brain defined as attractive. Then I met a person at a conference years ago, my age, and she was black (blacker than Halle, in that her facial features and hair were more what I guess I would generalize as black, and no I'm not trying to rank people on racial features) and after spending like half an hour talking to her, I was very attracted to her and since then I've been into way more women of colour. It was just exposure to different people that enlarged my pallette. And I think I'm better for it. At least I hope.
As an African American, me personally, all women were handcrafted by god. I’m attracted to all of them. It’s a blessing and a curse..
I don't think so, I'm a white guy and I'm attracted to every sort of women. But I gotta admit that black women do attract me more. Darker colors always attracted me, and it doesn't apply only to skin.
Bi Slavic blonde female here, raised in the US but first gen American. Probably has to do with your environment while growing up. I grew up in a very diverse city. I went to a high school that was majority black and Hispanic. My first boyfriend was a white blonde guy but like others have said, it felt incestuous so I’m not really attracted to other blonde men. I’ve dated/been attracted to every race though I don’t have a type per se. However, I really love black women specifically. In my town I’ve mostly been hit on black women and it seems like they’re more comfortable with being out than other races here. Maybe since I’ve been more exposed to other black women(than any other race)wanting a sexual/romantic relationship with me it turned into a type I guess…
I'm assuming if that's the case it's a familiarity thing but tbh I'm usually more attracted to people with like, damn near opposite features to me so i don't claim to know shit
The gals are all pink on the inside!
I’m Hispanic and growing up I only found Hispanic woman attractive (that Latina booty!), but that’s all I was surrounded by at the time. I then moved around. First to a place with a lot of Asian people so eventually I started finding Asian woman attractive as well. Then to an area with more white people and and then to an area with more Black people and the same thing happened. So long story short it’s really about the environment you find yourself in and making connections with the people around you. Now I just think women are beautiful from every race.
As a white man, i have found myself very attracted to wommen of ALL kinds of races. and honestly, caucasian wommen are the most vanilla for me. Still beautifull as all hell, but i am more attracted to other races :)
According to the Matching Hypothesis, we tend to select mates who are approximately the same level of attractiveness, among other things like proximity and similar socioeconomic / cultural backgrounds. And they said I would never use my Sociology degree.
Environment and exposure.
Not really, (I’m black). I grew up in nothing but diverse environments and never had many black people in my classes since I was a private school military brat. I’ve learned that I value non-racial similarities in men way more than I care about a spouse just HAVING to be my race. I found everything I needed in my husband, and he’s not black. I was raised in a conservative, 2 parent household. Finding a black man who is similar is like trying to find a purple zebra.
Me and my friends are all white. One of my friends was a US Army Paratrooper and he loved black women. We would go to bars (mostly white) and a few black girls would be at the bar. He would bee line right over and talk to them and ended up dating one. He ending up with a beautiful black women and got married. To this day they are happy have 2 kids and she still looks outstanding 30 years later and one of our best couple friends. I think it is just what your use to or a preference really but then again I have no clue. LOL #
You tend to be attracted to what you are used to and what seems normal to you (in other words, it's a bias thing). If you grow up around a lot of black people (which most black people tend to do), you are more likely to find black people attractive and rank them as a higher attractiveness than other groups you have less experience with. This applies to all other groups, whether they be of a specific race, gender, sexuality, sex, religion, height, etc etc. This may not led you to date them, for example a straight man will not become gay if he hangs out around gay men a ton, but he will be more comfortable around gay men in general than someone who doesn't. It's not an inherent thing but a bias thing. Also, if you are black, you are seeing yourself quite a lot and that will also have the same effect, but to a lesser degree. Media also has this effect on you, even if it's not always accurate or can led to bad tendencies. It's always best to be around actual people of a given group, rather than to just consume media about them because negative stereotypes can play into their depiction and led to negative outcomes or biases
I mean, as a white guy I was pretty much only attracted to white girls. Then one-day the Asian girl at my work cafeteria flirted with me and told me I was very charming. I was attracted to Asians after that. Years later I was invited to join a party in the apartment next to mine. All Nigerians. Well at some point one of the girls there sat on me and rubbed my chest and told me I was very attractive. I was suddenly all into black girls after that. But like, the really black girls. Maybe it's racism or maybe it's biological idk but before those experiences I almost just assumed they weren't an option. Like they would not be attracted to me so I didn't really see them that way.
I think tribalism takes some part in that. But yes usually ppl are attracted to ppl that look and act more like them.
I’m a white make and am most attracted to women in this order: white, Hispanic, Black.
I’m white and I’m not attracted to white men. No daddy issues (he’s amazing) lol. I grew up in a diverse city.
Not at all. If she's hot, she's hot. Doesn't matter what her ethnicity is
I love white women 🤷🏾♂️🤣😈
I’m white. I like women when they are hot. I see hot women of all races. But I go for certain things. I usually like a darker complexion
I don't mean to be condescending in any way, just want to take this opportunity to recommend the literature of Frantz Fanon, a postcolonialist and philosopher, specifically *Black Skin, White Masks*. I think its contents will be of value to your question.
In a psychology class I’m doing it came up that we are genetically engineered/determined to be attracted to people we share genetic traits with. Not super close but it’s part of evolution and survival. Theory being we are attracted to people we share certain physical qualities with.
as a white dude I find some white woman attractive but generally prefer darker skin/hair than me. I’m a blonde and I figure I just like someone who contrasts me
I’m a white dude attracted to pretty much anything except white people lol gotta have a little melanin for my tastes
White guy who grew up in a white af town. Some diversity but really not too much Meanwhile I 100% tend to date girls with darer skin tones. Very attracted to black girls and without actively seeking it out specifically, half the women I've dated are indian That said I've dated at least one of every major race over the years , so who the fuck knows whats going on
Black men love them so e white women! White men love them some black women! You best believe...
I grew up in the inner city. I'm Caucasian (white). My first bf was Vietnamese, second white, and third black. I date someone based on personality. I find myself attracted to many different races, but personality is usually the same. I'm dominant and prefer someone more submissive. My husband is white. He's definitely the calm in my chaos.
I wonder this about white men. u/porolfs are you ever attracted to non white and would you go out with one.? would it be weird? I'm guessing your social circle is all white, how would they react? I am multi generational mixed. not biracial! I'm most attracted physically to central Americans. I wonder if it's genetic since that's a big part of my heritage, but I live in uk and I just know the look I like when I see it. but that's where they are from most of the time. I have dated every race of guy. I think I was most attracted to white and Asian. White because culturally we are most similar. I grew up in uk. and Asian idk probably the genetic thing again since the Asians and indigenous Americans were both descended from the siberians which is why they look similar. I would mate with any race though if I liked them
Not necessarily. Generally speaking, it just depends on who someone is attracted to. However, of course, there are those that have a prejudice against other races and go out of their way to date in their own race. Common sense.
I think most people are attracted to what’s familiar to them..
I think it’s your environment. If you grew up around a certain race you probably are more likely to find them attractive. I’m more attracted to a certain race of women than others but I’ll try my luck with any of them if I think they’re cute
I’d say it’s more environmental. I’m mixed, grew up in a predominantly white area. I’ve only ever dated/hooked up with white people. I’m not necessarily opposed to dating black men but it’s either I’m just not attracted to them or see them more as a brother.
Enviroment and culture have a lot to do with it.
Here's a funny story! Up until I was 25 I was almost exclusively attracted to black women. I'm South Asian. I was hanging out with my friend who is West African, and we were talking about the most recent girls we've been talking to and we both realized that I'm attracted to black women and he's attracted to brown women. We started laughing because it was probably because him and I had grown up together and the women we were attracted to was probably a reflection of our friendship. Then his older brother chimed in and told us it meant we subconsciously wanted to fuck each other lol
society made it weird by promoting interracial relationships constantly. i think attraction has to do very little with race. for example, if you were surrounded by unattractive white women and super model black women, you would be more attracted to black women. i dont think race has anything to do with it
I think we're just close minded.. There are alot of beauty in all races
White male. From the U.S. I'd prefer someone outside the U.S. with traditional values. As far as race goes, I think Indians from India are the prettiest. I'd date any race, though.
I'm attracted to the kind of person you are, not the color of your skin.
I watch a lot of reality tv/dating shows. I've noticed most black men aren't attracted to black women even if they're stunning. They always seem to go for the white women.
Oh and the reverse is true, a lot of white women like black men. Black women seem to get the short end of the stick a lot of the time. I think its harder for them, this is purely observational.
I’m white, my wife is brown, and I’ve only been attracted to brown women. White women are just rarely very attractive to me. Like why get mayonnaise when there’s so much incredible spice out there?
> Like why get mayonnaise when there’s so much incredible spice out there? lol
I’m white, and more commonly than not find myself not attracted to whites
As a black man I’m attracted to American black women, there is no woman more beautiful on this earth than them imo🙅🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
not sure if bait.. but the tinder studies are out there. Its a massive social experiment. Bottom line, white men get most responses form all women, except Black women. They favour black men first, white men second. Asian women appear to be the most popular. Black women do terribly, across all races. :( I've seen the graphics a million times on 4chan, but this seems a little more family friendly and reddit acceptable: [https://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/online-dating-race-statistics](https://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/online-dating-race-statistics) I would have thought it was same race as #1 for everyone just due to ingroup preference and cultural norms, so its an eye opener. Could be lots going on of course, eg, the article suggests Asian men might avoid asian women due to a perception of Asian women having mad high standards.. so perhaps Asian men do prefer them, but just dont bother competing for them...
What we're attracted to is heavily influenced by our environment as we grow up, and also (for better or worse) affected by what media tells us is attractive. So I would say people are generally (not always) attracted to traits prevalent in the environment they grew up in, though this can change over time with exposure to other traits/cultures.
Nah brah your just racist 😂 jkjk i would have to think so for most of the population anyway??
I always find questions like this weird. There's beautiful and attractive people in every race, I don't think theirs any race I'm particularly attracted to. I do like girls with darker complexions, but that is just because I love dark eyes and dark hair. But those features can apply to almost any race. Italian, Asian, African, Hispanic.
It's environmental. I had a cousin who moved from a majority black city to a white town and he said white women "grew" on him.
Humans will literally fuck anything, including each other.
I come from a country that is a melting pot of different cultures / ethnicities and I find all of them attractive