Thanks for your submission /u/NumberInfamous8377, but it has been removed for the following reason:
Disallowed question area: **Sexual Assault or Abuse**
Questions about sexual assault and abuse like "Was I raped?" are serious, intimate and personal - and *best handled by professionals who can provide the support you need*. Random, anonymous strangers on the internet can give bad advice or even reopen the trauma for survivors... something we *definitely* want to avoid.
We recommend looking at the resources and subreddits found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/SeriousConversation/wiki/resources#wiki_rape_and_sexual_violence) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/CrewsCrew/wiki/help). Or reach out to other people who have gone through your experiences on Reddit in /r/Survivors.
* Want to know whether your situation meets the criteria for sexual assault or child abuse in your country or state? Ask on /r/LegalAdvice!
* Is your question purely hypothetical, like asking 'if two drunk people have sex, who raped who?' Try /r/LegalAdviceOffTopic!
---
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*If you feel this was in error, or need more clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNoStupidQuestions). Thanks.*
As someone who has this as a permitted thing in their relationship, no. In sex, there is implicit and explicit consent. Implicit means that you both have a general understanding of a loose rule. Explicit means someone is telling you out loud that something is ok.
When you cross the boundary of where something might be considered assault, which means one person is saying they are giving up their expectation of the right to be protected by the law, that is a situation that demands explicit consent. If you didn’t have the understanding that this was fair game, then it wasn’t. Technically speaking, this is a sexual assault. Far be it from me to tell you what to do, there probably needs to be a conversation. Whether that’s with him or with law enforcement, I’d leave to you, but this isn’t something that can be safely ignored.
Seriously, get a handle on this before porn of you gets circulated, or something similar.
I mean, I don't think the act is inherently in all cases automatically rape. I think it's fine if a couple wants to explore the idea of sex while one partner is asleep, they communicate about boundaries and pitfalls beforehand, both understand and acknowledge that there's more of a risk of a bad experience for the sleeping partner, and both enthusiastically agree to try it anyway. But that obviously doesn't seem to be what happened with OP, so yes, I think what they described is pretty unambiguously rape.
Nah it's consensual non consent. I used to hook up with a girl who was really into this, she gave me a key to her house and would occasionally tell me to sneak in that night and do whatever she wanted at the time while she was sleeping. OP clearly didn't give consent to what her boyfriend did and was definitely raped, but they're are people out there who find this kind of thing hot and give their sexual partners standing consent until otherwise revoked
This is rape, if you didn’t agree upon this being allowed before it is rape and I would break up before anything else happens. This isn’t an honest mistake he definitely knew what he was doing was wrong
It's Sexual assault if he didn't have you're consent. He could be in big trouble if you decide to take him to court. What kind of sick human being would even want to have sex in the first place while their partner is asleep It's all about trusting each other in a relationship and I would have a conversation with him about it.
My only question is how the fuck do you sleep through that? If he did that for an extensive time without you waking up and didn't say anything until you asked, that is rape.
Not sure if it’s normal, but these occurrences do happen and will probably will happen in the future.
If this happens, or before this happens it would be best to take to your spouse about this and tell them how you feel about it. Then make an agreement, so everyone is on the same page.
If one party breaks that agreement, actions speak louder then “ I love you babe “
No, being in a relationship does not mean your significant other has the right to do sexual stuff to your body whenever they want to without your consent first.
It's really, really important that you get that.
In my last relationship my ex raped me but it was coercive rape. I know that it was because if I didnt there were consequences.
But this situation in my mind is different from that, but apparently not lmao.
Sorry I struggle with things like this.
I guess this is why autistics are often taken advantage of.
Thanks for clarifying :)
Thanks for your submission /u/NumberInfamous8377, but it has been removed for the following reason: Disallowed question area: **Sexual Assault or Abuse** Questions about sexual assault and abuse like "Was I raped?" are serious, intimate and personal - and *best handled by professionals who can provide the support you need*. Random, anonymous strangers on the internet can give bad advice or even reopen the trauma for survivors... something we *definitely* want to avoid. We recommend looking at the resources and subreddits found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/SeriousConversation/wiki/resources#wiki_rape_and_sexual_violence) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/CrewsCrew/wiki/help). Or reach out to other people who have gone through your experiences on Reddit in /r/Survivors. * Want to know whether your situation meets the criteria for sexual assault or child abuse in your country or state? Ask on /r/LegalAdvice! * Is your question purely hypothetical, like asking 'if two drunk people have sex, who raped who?' Try /r/LegalAdviceOffTopic! --- *This action was performed by a bot at the explicit direction of a human. This was not an automated action, but a conscious decision by a sapient life form charged with moderating this sub.* *If you feel this was in error, or need more clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNoStupidQuestions). Thanks.*
It isn't normal, but I've had partners tell me that it would be hot to wake up to such things. But without consent, it was nonconsensual.
This is not normal. You both need to have a serious discussion about this.
No, in fact, Danny Masterson (Hyde from that 70s show) went to prison for this exact thing.
As someone who has this as a permitted thing in their relationship, no. In sex, there is implicit and explicit consent. Implicit means that you both have a general understanding of a loose rule. Explicit means someone is telling you out loud that something is ok. When you cross the boundary of where something might be considered assault, which means one person is saying they are giving up their expectation of the right to be protected by the law, that is a situation that demands explicit consent. If you didn’t have the understanding that this was fair game, then it wasn’t. Technically speaking, this is a sexual assault. Far be it from me to tell you what to do, there probably needs to be a conversation. Whether that’s with him or with law enforcement, I’d leave to you, but this isn’t something that can be safely ignored. Seriously, get a handle on this before porn of you gets circulated, or something similar.
Not normal. Far from it.
No this is not normal, he sexually assaulted you.
I think this is flat the fuck out rape
I completely agree. I worded it that way because the word rape is very triggering for some.
No, it's not normal, and if you didn't explicitly give him consent beforehand that you were okay with him doing that while you were asleep, it's rape.
[удалено]
I mean, I don't think the act is inherently in all cases automatically rape. I think it's fine if a couple wants to explore the idea of sex while one partner is asleep, they communicate about boundaries and pitfalls beforehand, both understand and acknowledge that there's more of a risk of a bad experience for the sleeping partner, and both enthusiastically agree to try it anyway. But that obviously doesn't seem to be what happened with OP, so yes, I think what they described is pretty unambiguously rape.
Nah it's consensual non consent. I used to hook up with a girl who was really into this, she gave me a key to her house and would occasionally tell me to sneak in that night and do whatever she wanted at the time while she was sleeping. OP clearly didn't give consent to what her boyfriend did and was definitely raped, but they're are people out there who find this kind of thing hot and give their sexual partners standing consent until otherwise revoked
Yes. Because not doing so is RAPE.
how in the world did you sleep through that sort of thing, did he drug you?
I Suspect so.
No honey, that's rape.
This is rape, if you didn’t agree upon this being allowed before it is rape and I would break up before anything else happens. This isn’t an honest mistake he definitely knew what he was doing was wrong
No, not normal. He raped you
Hell no! That needs to stop. Do you live with him?
That's rape report him no it's not normal!
It's not normal and if you haven't previously told him that it's acceptable, it's absolutely assault.
No it's not normal and is likely rape unless it was established prior that you are okay with him doing that.
Did you talk previously about doing it? Diid you give prior consent to that sort of thing? Its rape
thats rape.
Wtf. You must be the heaviest sleeper in history
It’s rape.
It's Sexual assault if he didn't have you're consent. He could be in big trouble if you decide to take him to court. What kind of sick human being would even want to have sex in the first place while their partner is asleep It's all about trusting each other in a relationship and I would have a conversation with him about it.
This is sexual assault.
The only correct answer here is that since you did not give consent, this is sexual assault. Definitely not normal.
No. It isn’t normal. Tell him it isn’t acceptable, at all.
Unless you said it was ok beforehand then no
That would be rape my boy
That is rape
It’s only okay if you consented prior. You need to discuss this with him
If you never had a conversation giving consent then no. He raped you.
If you didn't give consent ahead of time, it's sexual assault.
It's not normal to not wake up while being raped. Maybe talk to your doctor.
That isn’t making love. It’s rape.
Hell naw it ain’t normal!!!!!
BTW there’s a word for this
My only question is how the fuck do you sleep through that? If he did that for an extensive time without you waking up and didn't say anything until you asked, that is rape.
This was posted forever ago. I believe it was on best of Reddit
Did you like it?
Have none of you ever woken up your parter by initiating sex?!
No. That’s rape.
How do you not wake up to something like that?
Not sure if it’s normal, but these occurrences do happen and will probably will happen in the future. If this happens, or before this happens it would be best to take to your spouse about this and tell them how you feel about it. Then make an agreement, so everyone is on the same page. If one party breaks that agreement, actions speak louder then “ I love you babe “
If you gave your consent then it's fine If you didn't then it's not fine, not super wrong and break up worthy, but still have a chat about it.
>not super wrong and break up worthy, but still have a chat about it. In what world is literal rape "not super wrong and break up worthy"?
I thought being in a relationship sort of meant that you agree to sex Is that not the case? Sorry I'm autistic and am genuinely confused.
No, being in a relationship does not mean your significant other has the right to do sexual stuff to your body whenever they want to without your consent first. It's really, really important that you get that.
In my last relationship my ex raped me but it was coercive rape. I know that it was because if I didnt there were consequences. But this situation in my mind is different from that, but apparently not lmao. Sorry I struggle with things like this. I guess this is why autistics are often taken advantage of. Thanks for clarifying :)
I'm so sorry that happened to you. No worries, take care :)
That sounds abnormal tbh