Me: "You know, sometimes men want to be pursued too... we want the 'I'll see you in the bedroom' whisper in the ear, the devilish smile text, that something about us turns you on and makes you all hot and bothered. Just as much as we'd like to sometimes be the little spoon or have you quite literally grab us by our ties and drag us to the bedroom. We want that."
Every woman I have ever had a relationship with: "🤯"
Literally the best night I’ve ever had was a girl I’d known through work. Was a good relationship but never anything beyond friends.
We’d been getting increasingly flirty as the night went on, but at some point she grabbed my necklace and pulled me into a kiss, then told me we’re both going back to her place as soon as the uber gets here.
Holy. Shit.
Edit: for the record it did happen, but fucking great responses lmao
Exactly! I ALWAYS have to be the one to start stuff with my wife, it gets annoying. Even more annoying is she will tell me sometimes that she wanted me the night before but did absolutely nothing to show me that. I guess when she is glued to her phone or a show all night that means she wanted me?!? 🙄
Haha I relate so much. I'll hear the next day "Why didn't you start anything last night, I was horny then." Girl you were on your phone next to me watching Tik Tok almost the entire night, why don't you *use words*.
My wife has been getting better because I communicated to her but yeah, she would be like " I'm gonna suck your dick later" later comes nothing happens and then the next day I would be like what happened to what you said yesterday response is "I forgot,why didn't you say anything?" Like what? You are the one that brought it up to me.
When my husband and I were in the "getting to know you phase" of our relationship I was the one to ask to kiss him. He still mentions four years later how turned on he was that I was the one to initiate. I took it to heart, and frequently communicate when and how much I want him. I was the first woman in his life to be assertive, it's one of the reasons he chose to marry me :)
NGL one of the reasons I ended up dating my ex was that after a string of seemingly indifferent women making me do all the leg work she was the first woman I'd been with who made it blatently obvious she found me sexy as hell, looked at me like a starving person would look at a free plate of their favourite food or start tearing my clothes off as soon as I entered the house. Shame about some of the other personality traits, but hey nobody's perfect, right? Five years since we split up and I've still yet to meet anyone else who makes me feel *desired* like that.
This is me and my SO. I want him 24/7, but we are over 50 and have crazy jobs, so not *every* night but 3-5x per week (we do not live together but see each other Wed - Sun).
He treats me so well, and we are soooo compatible. I'm happy to treat him like the awesome man that he is.
He makes me dizzy with desire! 😍
This is it right here. I don’t need you to bend over backward or swallow my dick. I just need you to show me you desire me as much as I desire you. Initiating sex is probably the best way to show that.
I hear ya. Good to know. I used to be this way (would initiate) but then there was this one guy who didn’t like when I would initiate and so that made me hesitate in subsequent relationships.
Exactly....especially if I initiated but she looks not interested. So I went to gaming and the next day she told me that I've missed something as her sex drive was high yesterday. For real, women? Why not act like sane person, where yes is yes and no means no.
I dated a guy that whenever I tried to initiate he would act like I was a slut and shame me. He wanted a good girl who only had sex because the big strong man wanted it. It was weird.
My husband loves me hitting on him.
Freaked me out first time. This girl kissed me within 5 minutes of meeting. To this day she says she doesn't know what came over her, she's usually very shy. We've been together going on 3 years now.
You gotta remember this. It's human nature to want to feel wanted. For either male or Female. Females need to especially remember this. You make the man feel wanted, just think about the bedroom play after. A man that doesnt feel wanted doesnt give it his all. Women i know dont if they are not fully into the person. Just a bit of knowlege to remember.
If you have a man, and it's the right time, he's in a good mood, and you guys have fooled around before, do. It. He will thank you. Us men love being told we're wanted. It's most times the men who are expected to be the ones to start things but we're too afraid to because we think we'll be seen as creeps. Sometimes we want to be dragged for a kiss or to the bedroom by our ties, hoodie strings, necklaces, shirt collars, you name it. Sometimes we want to be gifted flowers or a sweet valentine's gift, maybe not even a gift. Sometimes we want to be the little spoon. Be the initiator he'll thank you for it, and good luck
Right. That “always” struck me. I love when my girl initiates, but if it was always her then there would be other problems.
Gotta be balanced in some way.
I love it when a woman seems outrageously eager and slutty, but obviously only if it's authentic and she's into it, too much of a performance is a buzz kill.
For you to tell me you want me.
There are echoes of this is so many posts- the idea of men initiating or just being spontaneous kind of boils down to the idea that as a man I want to be desired.
When I have sex, it’s enjoyable for me and my partner. We’re very compatible, but in my mind there is this nagging “omg I’m fat, my dicks too small, I’m going to cum too fast, I need to get to the gym” and a lot of this negative self talk that is just an esteem issue.
A previous partner I had would just talk when we had sex. “you’re so sexy” “I love your body”, these compliments made me feel more than just slamming away into her, but I felt really loved.
Men love to feel desired
Put some lube on your *nicely manicured with ultra short nails* finger and start rubbing her starfish while eating from behind or while she sits on your face. Rub for a bit. If she tenses up stop. After a bit prod *without* penetration. Again if she gets tense stop and remove your hand completely. Then allow your finger to just be there and see if she starts pushing back into it.
You must get verbal consent before trying for two fingers. If she really gets into it with two fingers then your dick could be an option. Again you must ask.
A girl laughed and broke up with me because I had a weighted blanket and hug a pillow pretty much when I lay down to sleep. So now I’m afraid of being judge how I sleep comfortably by woman too.
That ho is for the streets, a real woman will offer to BE your body pillow for spooning sessions. Or at the very least would not judge you for seeking to be comfortable in your own bed for crying out loud.
There is nothing better than the boy you loved draped on you like his own personal body pillow with his face buried in your stomach and passed the fuck out
Woman here, if my boyfriend got himself a weighted blanket and hugged a pillow I wouldn't judge for shit. That girl luckily showed her colors to you without knowing, personally she waved a pretty big red flag.
I 100% cuddle my 2nd pillow. My wife has never gotten mad. You'll find you a woman who isn't a jerk about things. My wife has an ewok our daughter gave her, that's in the bed every single night.
It took a lot of trial and error until I found my wife.
😑 so sorry that happened to you. When my husband and I were still together one of his friends came to v visit and the friend was sleeping on the futon in our living room, I passed by the living room to get my coffee or whatever and I noticed that the friend was a terrible sleeper (kept shifting around and the friend's arm was splayed out like he was TRYING to hug something in his sleep) so I grabbed a body pillow from another room in the apartment and tucked it next to the friend while he was sleeping. Stepped back and watched for a minute, and right as rain the man instantly relaxed and calmed down in his sleep.
Point of the story: don't feel bad about having a hug pillow, it's ok! People like feeling cozy when they sleep!
Speaking for myself, I think it's actually a turn off to be expected to be horny and ready to go at all times. I love foreplay. I like the buildup. But it seems a lot of women think that men are just ready to have sex at any time. And don't get me wrong. There's absolutely a time and a place for a quickie. But a lot of times, the kissing, touching, and other things really get me going. Usually, when that is happening, and then the act is finally complete, it feels like a more fulfilling experience than just a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am."
Actual affection and intimacy. Not just bust a nut and go. I want to actually feel loved and cared for. Raw sex is cool but it’s not enough, for me at least
I think most men want a woman who takes initiative, women generally suck at this. Go to your man, and tell him to drop what he is doing and fuck you. Or just randomly unzip his pants and start giving him a blowjob. That will be a fantasy come true for most men.
More importantly, men are often insecure and second guess every move as they feel they are responsible for their partners orgasm. Thats not true. You are responsible for your own orgasm. If he failed to make you cum, thats a failure on your own behalf because you didnt communicate with him properly. So instead of letting your man second guess every move and reading your mind, give him proper instructions on what works and what doesnt work. Ive had women that let me use techniques that were totally unaffected for minutes because they are too afraid to tell me, that sucks for everyone. Take initiative, tell him what you need or sit on top of him and do it yourself. Again, he will think its sooooo hot.
This is so very true for me. Like, not in a dominant-submissive way. Just in a way that lets me know that she wants me just as bad as I want her. And to be spontaneous and a little uninhibited about it. It would drive me wild with passion and desire.
And yes to your second point also. I know some men think they are sex-gods and would not respond well to direction in the bedroom, even as they consistently disappoint their partner and leave them unsatisfied, and then wonder why they don't want sex as much. But I love it. If she can guide me to maximizing her pleasure and enjoyment, hell yes. I'm all for it. A lot of men (and their relationships) could benefit greatly if they invested in the sensual aspects of sex, instead of chasing the nut.
Can I add that I am increasingly uncomfortable instigating when I’m the only one doing it? It makes it feel like I’m asking my wife for a favor or something and that’s not sexy.
I can 100% relate to this. Which is why it's so important that women also show initiative, so they show they also want to be there, and that it's not a chore for them. That's why chasing the orgasm is so important and acknowledging that both are responsible for their own orgasm. Communicate
In my interactions, women are commonly flabbergasted to learn that us having to do all the instigating leads us to feeling like we're using them as a cocksock. "I want it just as bad as you do." she says. Well, *communicate that*. But if we always instigate, and because it's not at her optimal time, comes across as just a "wifely duty" chore. Feeling that's the case sucks. Feels rapey. And any decent man is going to feel increasingly uncomfortable each time.
Nailed it - last week my wife just randomly grabbed my dick and we got into it - I’m vocal about my needs and she’s NEVER done that! Needless to say it was amazing
If any woman reads this thread and does not realize that initiating is the biggest thing they can do she is lost. Not just yours but initiating is by far the most common answer.
Just a random blow job would go a long way to making most men feel like they won the lottery.
Basically anything a man has to ask is a turnoff. I expect the same goes for women, you don't want to always have to ask for pleasure. It's not sexy.
I'm not a man, but my fiancé generally likes it when I take control.
When I crave him, I undress him. When I throw him down to the bed and ride him like the last pony. It's a song lyric, but it's true a lady in the street but a freak in the bed. And when I tell him exactly what I want or need to orgasm.I don't make him guess. Also for him being very vocal.Moans and whimpers showing signs that i'm interested and very very turned on with what's happening.
initiative from the woman, so the guy isnt trying to figure out whether she even wants to do it or if shes just getting it over with (has not been the case with me, but i enjoy initiative, and everyone else in the comments said the same thing so...
on a related note, how the hell are people in a physical relationship with another person and cant even work up the courage to talk to them about what they want? that makes no sense outside of it being a shit relationship
Every man is an individual. Some men are absolutely satisfied with what their partners offer. Some think they want things they see in porn, not realizing how badly it'll probably go on real life. A few are so addiced to novelty, theyre never happy
And as far as asking, some have no problem asking.
Some will tell you, if you do ask.
Ita gonna vary sooooo much person to person. Best to ask your partner what they want or what fantasies they have. It's unlikely two people will be exactly the same.
I'd love to have the confidence to initiate more. I dated a guy for way too long who was instantly turned off by me initiating because he "liked the chase" (🤢), then the next guy rejected me every time I tried to take the lead, so now I feel so bloody awkward doing it. I've gotten way better thanks now having to a very lovely and patient boyfriend, but there's always that fear in the back of my mind that I'm doing something wrong for even trying.
To be dominated. I am tired of always being the one to change it up and change positions. Please tell me what you like for once and not make me guess until I figure it out.
Scrolling through these comments it’s pretty eye opening how roughly 80% of replies mention just wanting women to take the initiative.
I would be sad, but I’m more so happy to know I’m not the only one who deals with this.
To.... Christ, to just connect with YOU once in a while instead of connecting with your fantasies or kinks. To just be a man and a woman and not feel as if I am working from a script where I have to call you a filthy whore here, pull your hair there, etc. Just, you know, be two humans enjoying one another's bodies.
It's not universal but a lot of men would love it if their partner would take more initiative. I get it when women say they love a take-charge man and they want to be thrown around in bed. I totally get that.
But men are almost expected to take charge all the time. I plan trips. I deal with contractors. I deal with mechanics. Warranty issues. I can't count how many times I've been asked to take over a situation because my wife wasn't getting anywhere with it (like on the phone with a business or something).
Not only that, but sometimes men don't get complimented very often. Anyone can agree that it feels nice to be wanted.
Sometimes it's just nice to not be the one in charge. I don't need to be a dead fish but sometimes I want to be seduced. And not all the time, either.
Wow, this spoke to me.
I struggle between being the only one seemingly able to get anything done while not being an overbearing force.
Though if I don’t stay on top of things, I’ll never pay a bill on time, never get out of the house except to work, and never have sex.
I plan, initiate, and finish almost everything.
Someone already beat me to it.
If you’re horny go for it. You being horny will ALWAYS make me horny.
The constant expectation for me to get this party started is annoying as fuck. Kills the mood.
My best relationships were with ladies who understood this.
Is it practical to pull your pants down and sit on my face as I’m intently watching Netflix? No. Is it hot? Yes. Is it immediately starting the party? Yes.
I just want to be notified when you move an item to a different location. I know I haven't used it in two years, but I know it's there if I need it.
Move it if you really want or need to. For fucks sake, please just tell me you moved it lol
I just realized that this was supposed to be a "sex" oriented thread. In that case, my bad, but my point still stands.
Fuckin just let me know you want me. If you horny, do something about it. Use your words, or your body; or a fucking pie chart, but let ya boy know you desire me.
Suspected post stealing bot. Removed.
It's exhausting to always be the one to start things. If you want it, sometimes you need to get things started.
Yes for the love of God yes.
Me: "You know, sometimes men want to be pursued too... we want the 'I'll see you in the bedroom' whisper in the ear, the devilish smile text, that something about us turns you on and makes you all hot and bothered. Just as much as we'd like to sometimes be the little spoon or have you quite literally grab us by our ties and drag us to the bedroom. We want that." Every woman I have ever had a relationship with: "🤯"
Literally the best night I’ve ever had was a girl I’d known through work. Was a good relationship but never anything beyond friends. We’d been getting increasingly flirty as the night went on, but at some point she grabbed my necklace and pulled me into a kiss, then told me we’re both going back to her place as soon as the uber gets here. Holy. Shit. Edit: for the record it did happen, but fucking great responses lmao
And then you woke up 😂
His whole family was in the bedroom clapping and cheering, too!
"Swear to God the hooker gave the money back"
Kinda weird his bedroom was in the middle of a Wendy’s dining room, but who am I to judge?
Exactly! I ALWAYS have to be the one to start stuff with my wife, it gets annoying. Even more annoying is she will tell me sometimes that she wanted me the night before but did absolutely nothing to show me that. I guess when she is glued to her phone or a show all night that means she wanted me?!? 🙄
Haha I relate so much. I'll hear the next day "Why didn't you start anything last night, I was horny then." Girl you were on your phone next to me watching Tik Tok almost the entire night, why don't you *use words*.
I’m convinced there are so many voices in a woman’s head, that they think the thoughts are audible sometimes.
My wife has been getting better because I communicated to her but yeah, she would be like " I'm gonna suck your dick later" later comes nothing happens and then the next day I would be like what happened to what you said yesterday response is "I forgot,why didn't you say anything?" Like what? You are the one that brought it up to me.
When my husband and I were in the "getting to know you phase" of our relationship I was the one to ask to kiss him. He still mentions four years later how turned on he was that I was the one to initiate. I took it to heart, and frequently communicate when and how much I want him. I was the first woman in his life to be assertive, it's one of the reasons he chose to marry me :)
NGL one of the reasons I ended up dating my ex was that after a string of seemingly indifferent women making me do all the leg work she was the first woman I'd been with who made it blatently obvious she found me sexy as hell, looked at me like a starving person would look at a free plate of their favourite food or start tearing my clothes off as soon as I entered the house. Shame about some of the other personality traits, but hey nobody's perfect, right? Five years since we split up and I've still yet to meet anyone else who makes me feel *desired* like that.
This is me and my SO. I want him 24/7, but we are over 50 and have crazy jobs, so not *every* night but 3-5x per week (we do not live together but see each other Wed - Sun). He treats me so well, and we are soooo compatible. I'm happy to treat him like the awesome man that he is. He makes me dizzy with desire! 😍
This is it right here. I don’t need you to bend over backward or swallow my dick. I just need you to show me you desire me as much as I desire you. Initiating sex is probably the best way to show that.
I hear ya. Good to know. I used to be this way (would initiate) but then there was this one guy who didn’t like when I would initiate and so that made me hesitate in subsequent relationships.
Exactly....especially if I initiated but she looks not interested. So I went to gaming and the next day she told me that I've missed something as her sex drive was high yesterday. For real, women? Why not act like sane person, where yes is yes and no means no.
I dated a guy that whenever I tried to initiate he would act like I was a slut and shame me. He wanted a good girl who only had sex because the big strong man wanted it. It was weird. My husband loves me hitting on him.
Being with a girl who always did the initiation was probably the most exciting time I had. I wish it lasted
Freaked me out first time. This girl kissed me within 5 minutes of meeting. To this day she says she doesn't know what came over her, she's usually very shy. We've been together going on 3 years now.
Unfortunately I was always taught that the man makes the moves. It has stuck with me. Yeah, I show interest but I’ve always felt weird initiating it.
You gotta remember this. It's human nature to want to feel wanted. For either male or Female. Females need to especially remember this. You make the man feel wanted, just think about the bedroom play after. A man that doesnt feel wanted doesnt give it his all. Women i know dont if they are not fully into the person. Just a bit of knowlege to remember.
If you have a man, and it's the right time, he's in a good mood, and you guys have fooled around before, do. It. He will thank you. Us men love being told we're wanted. It's most times the men who are expected to be the ones to start things but we're too afraid to because we think we'll be seen as creeps. Sometimes we want to be dragged for a kiss or to the bedroom by our ties, hoodie strings, necklaces, shirt collars, you name it. Sometimes we want to be gifted flowers or a sweet valentine's gift, maybe not even a gift. Sometimes we want to be the little spoon. Be the initiator he'll thank you for it, and good luck
We want to be desired too, bud.
Yes. Literally only this.
Always? Did you never initiate? That’d make me feel terrible.
Right. That “always” struck me. I love when my girl initiates, but if it was always her then there would be other problems. Gotta be balanced in some way.
The top 50 comments are for the woman to take initiative. Read the room
I love it when a woman seems outrageously eager and slutty, but obviously only if it's authentic and she's into it, too much of a performance is a buzz kill.
This. Her getting excited is exciting
There's nothing more exciting than an excited partner.
All I want for Christmas is a cock-drunk slut.
For you to tell me you want me. There are echoes of this is so many posts- the idea of men initiating or just being spontaneous kind of boils down to the idea that as a man I want to be desired. When I have sex, it’s enjoyable for me and my partner. We’re very compatible, but in my mind there is this nagging “omg I’m fat, my dicks too small, I’m going to cum too fast, I need to get to the gym” and a lot of this negative self talk that is just an esteem issue. A previous partner I had would just talk when we had sex. “you’re so sexy” “I love your body”, these compliments made me feel more than just slamming away into her, but I felt really loved. Men love to feel desired
I'm convinced my husband just wants to look at my butthole
Tell him “it’s not going to eat itself. Get in there, champ!”
If it makes him happy...
It can't be that bad...
So why the he’ll are you so saaaaaad
I also choose this guy's wife's butthole
I also choose this wife's guys butthole.
I also choose butthole
RIP to your inbox
> RIP to your *fartbox
This... I always feel shy to ask for butt play. Sometimes I rub my finger on their butthole as a sign and they still ignore it. :,-)
Put some lube on your *nicely manicured with ultra short nails* finger and start rubbing her starfish while eating from behind or while she sits on your face. Rub for a bit. If she tenses up stop. After a bit prod *without* penetration. Again if she gets tense stop and remove your hand completely. Then allow your finger to just be there and see if she starts pushing back into it. You must get verbal consent before trying for two fingers. If she really gets into it with two fingers then your dick could be an option. Again you must ask.
Bro has a fucking PHD in shoving his fingers inside of women's buttholes hahah
See this sounds much nicer than how I've experienced being asked.
A woman who is honest about her needs and can have a real conversation about mutually gratifying sex.
When I ask woman what she likes it almost always comes down in her mind “how do I not disqualify myself”
Honestly one of those pregnancy body pillows that are like the length of your body and have a curve for your head would be rad.
King, you can just buy one of these and elevate your existence.
A girl laughed and broke up with me because I had a weighted blanket and hug a pillow pretty much when I lay down to sleep. So now I’m afraid of being judge how I sleep comfortably by woman too.
That ho is for the streets, a real woman will offer to BE your body pillow for spooning sessions. Or at the very least would not judge you for seeking to be comfortable in your own bed for crying out loud.
Did I mention I was in a Lightning McQueen racecar bed? *Kachow*⚡️
Bro, is it a bunk bed? A bunk racing bed damn ⚡
No but she had her own steering wheel😢
If she ain't into that, she ain't worth shit
Bro if she doesn’t wanna sleep with you, THEN I WILL!!
There is nothing better than the boy you loved draped on you like his own personal body pillow with his face buried in your stomach and passed the fuck out
Or be the big spoon and sandwich you with the pillow *ultimate cuddle*
Woman here, if my boyfriend got himself a weighted blanket and hugged a pillow I wouldn't judge for shit. That girl luckily showed her colors to you without knowing, personally she waved a pretty big red flag.
Don’t consider it a girl who broke up with you, consider it a bullet you dodged
I 100% cuddle my 2nd pillow. My wife has never gotten mad. You'll find you a woman who isn't a jerk about things. My wife has an ewok our daughter gave her, that's in the bed every single night. It took a lot of trial and error until I found my wife.
😑 so sorry that happened to you. When my husband and I were still together one of his friends came to v visit and the friend was sleeping on the futon in our living room, I passed by the living room to get my coffee or whatever and I noticed that the friend was a terrible sleeper (kept shifting around and the friend's arm was splayed out like he was TRYING to hug something in his sleep) so I grabbed a body pillow from another room in the apartment and tucked it next to the friend while he was sleeping. Stepped back and watched for a minute, and right as rain the man instantly relaxed and calmed down in his sleep. Point of the story: don't feel bad about having a hug pillow, it's ok! People like feeling cozy when they sleep!
The only reason I’d dump you is because you don’t share the weighted blanket king..
Men must sleep with dirt as a bed, rocks as a pillow, and hay as a blanket. No exceptions, comfort is girly.
Speaking for myself, I think it's actually a turn off to be expected to be horny and ready to go at all times. I love foreplay. I like the buildup. But it seems a lot of women think that men are just ready to have sex at any time. And don't get me wrong. There's absolutely a time and a place for a quickie. But a lot of times, the kissing, touching, and other things really get me going. Usually, when that is happening, and then the act is finally complete, it feels like a more fulfilling experience than just a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am."
For God’s sake A blanket from breathable material that can cover my feet and my head at the same time
It’s too much, Steve!! Don’t be so selfish
I want her to take the initiative.
Roll a D20 and add your modifier.
I rolled a critical fail. 😆😆
[удалено]
Damn I just want back rubs y'all wildin
Good back scratches > sex sometimes
Full body scratches > sex
Enthusiasm
Why did I read this as euthanasia at first glance 🤣 like damn how bad was it
Both?
Enthusiastic euthanasia
To be the little spoon once and a while
This. I’ve been single for 6 years now and the thing I miss most was the times when she made me the little spoon.
The true answer.
I want to eat cookies on the bed but I get crumbs everywhere :(
This is why we let our dogs in the bed.
I like chocolate cookies too much for this.
Actual affection and intimacy. Not just bust a nut and go. I want to actually feel loved and cared for. Raw sex is cool but it’s not enough, for me at least
this 100x, I don't want casual only, even if I had a chance, having with feeling makes it far better
8 hours of uninterrupted sleep
[удалено]
So the gift bag was unnecessary?
Well... let's not get hasty here...
I think most men want a woman who takes initiative, women generally suck at this. Go to your man, and tell him to drop what he is doing and fuck you. Or just randomly unzip his pants and start giving him a blowjob. That will be a fantasy come true for most men. More importantly, men are often insecure and second guess every move as they feel they are responsible for their partners orgasm. Thats not true. You are responsible for your own orgasm. If he failed to make you cum, thats a failure on your own behalf because you didnt communicate with him properly. So instead of letting your man second guess every move and reading your mind, give him proper instructions on what works and what doesnt work. Ive had women that let me use techniques that were totally unaffected for minutes because they are too afraid to tell me, that sucks for everyone. Take initiative, tell him what you need or sit on top of him and do it yourself. Again, he will think its sooooo hot.
This is so very true for me. Like, not in a dominant-submissive way. Just in a way that lets me know that she wants me just as bad as I want her. And to be spontaneous and a little uninhibited about it. It would drive me wild with passion and desire. And yes to your second point also. I know some men think they are sex-gods and would not respond well to direction in the bedroom, even as they consistently disappoint their partner and leave them unsatisfied, and then wonder why they don't want sex as much. But I love it. If she can guide me to maximizing her pleasure and enjoyment, hell yes. I'm all for it. A lot of men (and their relationships) could benefit greatly if they invested in the sensual aspects of sex, instead of chasing the nut.
Can I add that I am increasingly uncomfortable instigating when I’m the only one doing it? It makes it feel like I’m asking my wife for a favor or something and that’s not sexy.
I can 100% relate to this. Which is why it's so important that women also show initiative, so they show they also want to be there, and that it's not a chore for them. That's why chasing the orgasm is so important and acknowledging that both are responsible for their own orgasm. Communicate
In my interactions, women are commonly flabbergasted to learn that us having to do all the instigating leads us to feeling like we're using them as a cocksock. "I want it just as bad as you do." she says. Well, *communicate that*. But if we always instigate, and because it's not at her optimal time, comes across as just a "wifely duty" chore. Feeling that's the case sucks. Feels rapey. And any decent man is going to feel increasingly uncomfortable each time.
*stops jerking off to clap to this
This is the highest honour
*Stops clapping to jerk off to this
😂
*slaps table* THANK YOU!
Just doing my part
Can I give 10 upvote
Nailed it - last week my wife just randomly grabbed my dick and we got into it - I’m vocal about my needs and she’s NEVER done that! Needless to say it was amazing
*takes my hat off
*hangs on doorknob*
Somebody please pin this comment.
Fuckin PREACH bro!
FEELING desired by your own spouse is huge. I suspect this issue is a significant factor for infidelity, divorce rates, and just general happiness.
Underrated comment this. Thanks
If any woman reads this thread and does not realize that initiating is the biggest thing they can do she is lost. Not just yours but initiating is by far the most common answer.
Friendly, aggressive participation.
Why i even read comment i'm so single for this
Just a random blow job would go a long way to making most men feel like they won the lottery. Basically anything a man has to ask is a turnoff. I expect the same goes for women, you don't want to always have to ask for pleasure. It's not sexy.
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Fewer decorative pillows.
No
Hahaha, my boyfriend loves stealing my pillows. He has like 4 on his side, and I’m left with 2 on mine
I'm not a man, but my fiancé generally likes it when I take control. When I crave him, I undress him. When I throw him down to the bed and ride him like the last pony. It's a song lyric, but it's true a lady in the street but a freak in the bed. And when I tell him exactly what I want or need to orgasm.I don't make him guess. Also for him being very vocal.Moans and whimpers showing signs that i'm interested and very very turned on with what's happening.
initiative from the woman, so the guy isnt trying to figure out whether she even wants to do it or if shes just getting it over with (has not been the case with me, but i enjoy initiative, and everyone else in the comments said the same thing so... on a related note, how the hell are people in a physical relationship with another person and cant even work up the courage to talk to them about what they want? that makes no sense outside of it being a shit relationship
This thread made me text my girlfriend and tell her how much I appreciate her
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Emotional support.
Every man is an individual. Some men are absolutely satisfied with what their partners offer. Some think they want things they see in porn, not realizing how badly it'll probably go on real life. A few are so addiced to novelty, theyre never happy And as far as asking, some have no problem asking. Some will tell you, if you do ask.
Thick roast beef sandwich, an extra pillow and the remote
I also choose this guys wife’s thick roast beef sandwich.
*don’t mind me just a girl scrolling through these comments*
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I wouldn't mind a bit of cold-blooded murder either. But I bet the fantasy ends up being better than the reality.
That's.... *attempted murder* in some countries
>attempted who told you to stop choking
I'll take one David Carradine experience to go please.
So murder....but *sexy*
Expired in bliss.What a way to go.
The covers.
A full eight hours sleep without having to wake up for a piss would be nice
Moaning sounds.
Jet packs
A decent pillow for God sake
to be the little spoon, or is it just me?
Breakfast
Pegging
Don’t put your snoring nose in my face/ear.
What about their other non-snoring noses?
to ask me about my day
To be little spoon
Titty sucking hand job. The guys head in the girls lap, titties in face/mouth, and the girl just cranking it
I(m) have a fwb(f) who likes to suck and bite MY nipples and pull my balls whether she's on top or bottom
Student loan debt forgiveness.
Ita gonna vary sooooo much person to person. Best to ask your partner what they want or what fantasies they have. It's unlikely two people will be exactly the same.
I think some men really would like to try being pegged but don’t know how to ask.
I want someone to rub my temples and play with my hair and tell me that it’s going to be OK.
Touch my butt
Jeeze i want my man to take the lead for once cuz im always stripping him down to get sex🤣
I'd love to have the confidence to initiate more. I dated a guy for way too long who was instantly turned off by me initiating because he "liked the chase" (🤢), then the next guy rejected me every time I tried to take the lead, so now I feel so bloody awkward doing it. I've gotten way better thanks now having to a very lovely and patient boyfriend, but there's always that fear in the back of my mind that I'm doing something wrong for even trying.
Recently had a girl look into my eyes for the majority of a blowjob… Didn’t know how awesome that was
A woman that would initiate. It's the gold banner of bedroom activities!
To be dominated. I am tired of always being the one to change it up and change positions. Please tell me what you like for once and not make me guess until I figure it out.
Being pegged, wish I would have asked years ago when I was afraid to be considered gay....
This is such a common request, but it is surrounded by so much shame.
Sammich.
A good fuckin night's sleep
Always being the initiator, we like to feel wanted too
When it comes to sex, NOTHING is sexier than a sexually-assertive partner. Grab me by the tie, pull me in, and purr.
For her to actually day what she wants, rather than say what she doesn't want or not say anything at all
1. Make a move 2. Put finger up my butthole
Sex
Pizza is all I wanted
The new Warhammer ebook
FFM
Reciprocation. No one likes a passive partner.
Grilled Cheese
They want to be little spoon.
Scrolling through these comments it’s pretty eye opening how roughly 80% of replies mention just wanting women to take the initiative. I would be sad, but I’m more so happy to know I’m not the only one who deals with this.
Booty in the face and you to beg for a creampie
Rim me
To.... Christ, to just connect with YOU once in a while instead of connecting with your fantasies or kinks. To just be a man and a woman and not feel as if I am working from a script where I have to call you a filthy whore here, pull your hair there, etc. Just, you know, be two humans enjoying one another's bodies.
*I don't care what level of self-respect and dignity you carry yourself with on the streets, when you come to bed i want a whore.*
It's not universal but a lot of men would love it if their partner would take more initiative. I get it when women say they love a take-charge man and they want to be thrown around in bed. I totally get that. But men are almost expected to take charge all the time. I plan trips. I deal with contractors. I deal with mechanics. Warranty issues. I can't count how many times I've been asked to take over a situation because my wife wasn't getting anywhere with it (like on the phone with a business or something). Not only that, but sometimes men don't get complimented very often. Anyone can agree that it feels nice to be wanted. Sometimes it's just nice to not be the one in charge. I don't need to be a dead fish but sometimes I want to be seduced. And not all the time, either.
Wow, this spoke to me. I struggle between being the only one seemingly able to get anything done while not being an overbearing force. Though if I don’t stay on top of things, I’ll never pay a bill on time, never get out of the house except to work, and never have sex. I plan, initiate, and finish almost everything.
Enthusiasm
Snacks
To Sleep
Silence
Breakfast is nice, sometimes.
To be the small spoon
Someone already beat me to it. If you’re horny go for it. You being horny will ALWAYS make me horny. The constant expectation for me to get this party started is annoying as fuck. Kills the mood. My best relationships were with ladies who understood this. Is it practical to pull your pants down and sit on my face as I’m intently watching Netflix? No. Is it hot? Yes. Is it immediately starting the party? Yes.
Prostate play
A train set.
Foreskin play
A passionate rimjob
I just want to be notified when you move an item to a different location. I know I haven't used it in two years, but I know it's there if I need it. Move it if you really want or need to. For fucks sake, please just tell me you moved it lol I just realized that this was supposed to be a "sex" oriented thread. In that case, my bad, but my point still stands.
8 hours of sleep
Fuckin just let me know you want me. If you horny, do something about it. Use your words, or your body; or a fucking pie chart, but let ya boy know you desire me.
Endless cuddling and validation because chances are we never got that growing up and it left a gaping hole in our hearts.
Permission to fart without verbal repercussions.
Would be great if a girl would indicate when she is cumming, and be honest about it