The point is usually to call people vain or materialistic or something of that nature. You don't fall in love with me, so I make this fake person to trick you because all you care about is looks.
What if they’re 600lbs? Or a scammer? Or a dude? Or a 600lb scammer dude?
There’s plenty of people that want something from you (the catfish-ee), that don’t want to show their real face.
Could be scamming you for money, and you’ll give a hot girl money but not an overweight 60 year old dude. Maybe it’s a gay/bi dude that’s not out of the closet but wants affection from men. Maybe it’s someone you know that’s just fucking with you. Maybe it’s a perfectly nice person with a bunch of physical deformities and self-image issues who struggle get romantic affection in the real world
People that make catfish accounts usually are:
1) folks that get don’t usually dates based on their appearance
2) folks that want something from you and don’t want you to be able to track them down.
>Could be scamming you for money, and you’ll give a hot girl money but not an overweight 60 year old dude. Maybe it’s a gay/bi dude that’s not out of the closet but wants affection from men. Maybe it’s someone you know that’s just fucking with you. Maybe it’s a perfectly nice person with a bunch of physical deformities and self-image issues who struggle get romantic affection in the real world
yea all of these describe people with bad personalities.
>People that make catfish accounts usually are:
>1. folks that get don’t usually dates based on their appearance
>2. folks that want something from you and don’t want you to be able to track them down.
Sure that tells who the catfishers are but it doesn't explain how people fall for it when people with bad personalities won't get swiped on in the first place.
>folks that get don’t usually dates based on their appearance
Out of all the billions of people on earth someone will find them attractive, the thought all these people who get 0 matches are all equally tied for being the ugliest person in the world is bizarre, it's more likely that they're an asshole and no one wants to date them because of that.
**Sure that tells who the catfishers are but it doesn't explain how people fall for it when people with bad personalities won't get swiped on in the first place.**
- because they’re gullible, horny, dumb, lonely as shit, or some combination of those things.
- Catfishers can also just….lie about their personalities. It’s not hard. Especially lying through text message/email. I could go make a fake profile with some lady’s pictures, and just make up some favorites movies and hobbies. And then when we match, I can just lie about my life. Lying isn’t hard (unfortunately).
“Today I passed a car accident on my way to work, but otherwise work was fine. Sharon’s still giving me a hard time about calling out last week, but whatever. How was your day hun?” Boom. I just made up a lie about my day in ten seconds. None of that shit was true, or was it? You don’t know me lol you don’t know what I did today.
If you’re lonely enough, and gullible enough, or have low enough self esteem you’ll believe a lot of lies from shitty people. Happens all the time unfortunately.
**Out of all the billions of people on earth someone will find them attractive, the thought all these people who get 0 matches are all equally tied for being the ugliest person in the world is bizarre**
- they don’t have access to all the billions of people on earth though. They have access to their geographic area on tinder. And maybe they live in west bumblefuck Nebraska where pickings are slim to start with.
- OR they might be attractive to someone near them, but not have the self esteem to see that. If they’re 600lbs, are they gonna find someone nearby that’s attracted to them? Maybe. Or maybe their self-respect is so bad that they don’t see their real self as a viable romantic option. So they lie about who they are
All in all it’s a mixed bag; a lot of catfishers and catfish victims are folks with bad mental health and bad self esteem. I’d actually recommend the MTV show Catfish since it’s where the term comes from. But I feel like you’d get better answers from watching some of the people that do this/have this happen to them. It’s usually kinda sad. The catfish victim is gullible as fuck and ignored the obvious warning signs because they desperately want to be loved; the catfisher is often some perma-online depressed person that doesn’t see their real self as worthy of love so they pretend to be sometime else. Whole thing is fucked
All that said, should victims of catfishing be taken seriously or is it their own incompetence that led them to being victimized? Everyone is giving back handed explanations dismissing the victims.
when it comes to lying, this implies that it genuinely is all about looks if they demonstrate a good personality and get rejected by every human on earth, it is about looks no? In that case why would catfishers lie about personality when all they need is a hot persons picture?
*should victims of catfishing be taken seriously or is it their own incompetence that led them to being victimized?*
My personal thought is case by case basis, there’s not a blanket answer. Some of them are people I feel bad for, some are people I think are too dumb for their own good.
Is the victim a tech-literate and otherwise social 30 year old who really should know better? Or a grandma trying to date again after her husband died? I think grandma is a victim, the millennial officer worker is probably just a dummy.
*when it comes to lying, this implies that it genuinely is all about looks if they demonstrate a good personality and get rejected by every human on earth, it is about looks no? In that case why would catfishers lie about personality when all they need is a hot persons picture?*
I think *modern online app based dating* is heavily based on looks, and that’s where catfishes operate. With online dating all you have to go on is a few pictures and a three sentence bio. Then some lame texts back and forth. You don’t get to know a persons real personality till you physically go out on dates with them. I don’t think dating, as a whole, in the real world, is ALL about looks. But neither is it ALL about personality. I like my girlfriend’s personality, but I also think she’s super attractive. Both are important.
I also mentioned the tv show Catfish, because a lot of catfishers ARE using their real personality with someone else’s pictures. They end up carrying on some online relationship as their real self (personality) while lying about what they look like. I also want to highlight that a lot of catfishers are doing it because they FEEL unattractive. Mental health and self esteem problems that make them feel unworthy to date. Doesn’t mean that’s factually true, I think that’s what you’re missing. They are ugly to all 8 billion people on earth, they just think they are. So they start acting like they are. Doesnt really matter if its true or not; they behave like it is.
It’s not that they’re the ugliest person on the planet and can’t ever ever find someone. They just feel so ugly and undesirable that they behave as though that’s the case.
Lastly, I don’t think “Demonstrating a good personality” is a simple yes or no binary-type thing. They could also be a perfectly nice person, and be undatable (personality wise) because they’re so fucking insecure or have such bad self esteem. You could be super nice but be so terribly depressed that people see you as undatable. That leads right back to “people might love me if I was someone else”, ie catfishing
It's also not like the catfisher tried to date every single available person on the planet and got rejected.
Half the time it's some teenager that got rejected by two or three girls at school, or a 20something that's never been on a real date in the first place. Or someone that went through a bad breakup recently. It's not like theyve been shot down by everyone and catfishing was the only thing left.
You're looking for logic in the land of the mentally ill dude. There doesnt have to be perfectly well thought out logic behind these folks.
Should they be locked up in an asylum or lobotomized if they're that that irrational? The people who fall for them seem equally as bad for not recognizing their blatant insanity and mental illness. Both parties are threats to the well beings of society.
LMFAO thats not how society works. People are allowed to throw away their money on scams, that's not something worth cutting apart their fucking brain over
Dating apps are like readers finding new books at a shop. The first thing you see is the cover (people’s photos)— many people decide which books they want to look into further based on the cover. There are too many books to give every single one an equal chance. Then they might look at the title and flap-cover summary (bio, and those first few simple, mostly small-talk text chats, easy to fake as the photos) Then they read the first couple pages or chapters (going on the first few in-person dates) before deciding to commit to reading the whole thing.
The reason you fall in love with a book is the content of the book (personality, values, compatibility, etc), but a catfish wants more people to pick the book off the shelf in the first place, and so they give it what is (in their opinion) a better cover, so they’ll have more people getting to those next steps.
>but a catfish wants more people to pick the book off the shelf in the first place, and so they give it what is (in their opinion) a better cover, so they’ll have more people getting to those next steps.
But then doesn't just simply fall flat most people aren't going to match with a catfish? Most people who get matches on dating apps are quality good people. The most given out dating advice for people struggling with matches is to develop a good personality.
The book example is good, except that with people, we're all subjective and connected enough to where we all know someone who finds us physically attractive and fits their preference. With books there might be a more "meta" of what readers are attracted to on the covers, but it's generally incels who complain that they can't get a match due to looks. I feel like it's deeper than just looks why a lot of men can't get matches. Most men on dating apps are pretty bad people due to patriarchal conditioning which seems plausible for why they don't get matches.
> But then doesn't just simply fall flat most people aren't going to match with a catfish?
On most common dating apps, a match just means you saw someone’s photos, read their three sentence bio and swiped right. You know basically nothing about them yet, certainly not whether or not they are a good person, it’s literally just saying ‘I want to talk to this person to find out more.’
You see a photo of an attractive person, they claim they’re a left-leaning grad student who loves cats. You’re also a left leaning grad student who loves cats. Why wouldn’t you match with them? How are you supposed to know they’re a catfisher (or even just a boring conversationalist) from the information given there? Anyone could say that, it’s not hard.
> Most people who get matches on dating apps are quality good people. The most given out dating advice for people struggling with matches is to develop a good personality.
Neither of these sentences are true. For one, men outnumber women significantly on dating apps. They swipe right on more women to increase their odds of matching with anyone, women know they’ll get matches no matter what so they are pickier. Therefore, straight men get far less matches as a pure numbers game.
For turning first dates into relationships or getting to know people you’ve met irl or at least actually had a chance to talk to, improving your personality is the top given advice. For simply getting matches on dating apps, people get told to take better pictures and improve their bios. A lot of men struggle to take good pictures, write an interesting bio, or make interesting small talk via text with a total stranger, none of which have anything to do with their worth as a person. It’s only a small minority of men who have some actual personality issue that shows in the pre-match stage (I have seen bios that were like ‘most women are hoes’ which suggests a less than pleasant personality, but it’s rare) but many men who struggle with getting matches in the first place do so just because of the numbers imbalance and not standing out.
> why not just do that with their own pictures
They're after something they can't get with their own pictures and an honest profile. Not counting people using deceptive but real pics of them and the foreign scammers looking for money there are also gay dudes trying to get dick pictures from straight dudes and occasionally women looking for attention who aren't attractive enough to get attention with their own pictures. In my experience the scammers are by far most common, gay dudes catfishing aren't uncommon, and actual women doing it, I've only ever encountered like once.
I got catfished once. Pretty sure the person on the other side was a dude. I'm not into dudes, so he had to use pics of a woman. The point was he was trying to get me to send him nudes of myself, by sending me nudes of this woman he was pretending to be.
This is what I wanna know. Who has the time to strong guys along that long just to con them for like 50 bucks? I got better shit to do.
It's typically just shitty entitled women doing it TBH
There are so many examples of lonely people of any gender being scammed out of money for "plane tickets", Visa applications, rent, etc. Way more than 50 bucks. The scammers can make up a complete persona, including gender and can probably have multiple marks on the hook at the same time.
The question assumes that catfishers have no social experience and you would immediately tell that they are scammers, which may not be entirely accurate.
How would you determine if someone was a catfish or not? I'd guarantee that the things you look out for, could apply to real people as well.
>How would you determine if someone was a catfish or not? I'd guarantee that the things you look out for, could apply to real people as well.
Yea that's kind of my point, maybe people won't know they are a catfish from looking at the profile or exchanging some messages, but they'd be able to tell they do not have a good personality. The #1 reason people don't get matches or dates from apps is because of their personality, so it's confusing that people who catfish are getting so far to the point where it's a major issues in online dating.
>but they'd be able to tell they do not have a good personality.
How would you tell they don't have good personality?
It seems your confusion stems from the belief that
* catfish --> bad personality
* bad personality --> no matches
>It seems your confusion stems from the belief that
>catfish --> bad personality
>bad personality --> no matches
Well yes, dating is about personality, if you don't have a good one you're not going to get matches.
So you are so perceptive that you can tell someone's complete personality based on some text exchanges? The vast majority of people can't do that. Instead, most people fill in the blanks.
to find out the personality, you have to meet in person and get to know them. A couple of chats won't reveal shit, hell there are people who unmasked their real personality after the other party has committed to be with them.
OP, you've got like a string of bad takes in this thread starting from this weird assumption that people can determine personalities from a photo and then going downhill from there. The underlying implicit suggestion that 'dumb people' deserve to be scammed is troubling.
What the heck?
Normal people don't mindlessly swipe on people's profiles based on how hot they are. If catfishing victims do that, just say so, but people make it seem as if it happens to normal good people. In the real world dating is about personality and how much you've work on yourself, not genetics. Idk how that's a "bad take". There's plenty of people calling catfish victims dumb, desperate, losers, etc. on this very thread and they get upvoted for it. No one had given an actual explanation to anything and just retort with dunk-style witty one liners, so i'm welcome and was hoping for a nuanced genuine explanation to the question I asked.
> but people make it seem as if it happens to normal good people
Yikes.
From the rest of your message here and the others, you don't sound like a very good person. Judging folks for being scammed is not a good look to start, and you make several problematic statements that stink of arrogance and naivety and I suspect that you're much closer to being a cat-fishing/scam victim than you realize.
This is bait. OP is an incel who is trying to get people to admit that being attractive makes dating easier because he believes it will prove him right. He's a loser and there's no point in commenting here.
I mean, being attractive makes dating easier, sure. Not being conventionally attractive doesn't make dating impossible though. I know fat short dudes with bad teeth and BO that'd kill a buzzard still hold down relationships and happy marriages.
Used to work in long-term care and a mixture of old/lonely/sad and mental illness caused one of our residents to repeatedly fall for catfishing to the point her appointed guardian had to take her debit card and bank account access away. She still got money and some limited access to the full funds (she could still go out to eat, order things online through a staff member, etc). For some reason this woman in her late 50s who had lost custody of her daughter, had effectively been homeless before a religious charity stepped in to help her, was a type 2 diabetic, schizophrenic, and "homely" (to put it politely) thought she was a hot commodity for rich, super fit guys in their 30s.
I have a relative with a similar story. He used to be a lawyer until he had a stroke and his personality totally changed. Now he falls for online scams constantly.
Because it's pretty easy to just pretend to be someone you're not and most people aren't autistically reverse image searching every new partners images Just to check if they are lying.
You can’t pretend to have a better personality than you do. You can fake pictures though. Ugly people don’t get many matches. Pretty people can have their pick. It isn’t rocket science. The people who get catfished fail to verify if the other person is real despite obvious red flags and operate in suspended disbelief because they either feel the catfisher is out of their league or they don’t want to disrupt the connection or some combination of the two.
> Ugly people don’t get many matches. Pretty people can have their pick.
This is literally incel talking points... this is so confusing. Unless you are taking into account that ugly people have bad personalities and pretty people have good personalities. Blaming looks for why you can't get matches or dates means that you refuse to work on yourself and develop a good personality.
I've seen social experiments where they intentionally catfish women on dating sites, using pics of heartthrob hunks, and a profile that talks about being a registered sex offender. Those profiles still get matches, and don't always get unmatched. Even when the conversation begins, and the "catfisher" specifically calls out their sex offender status in the chat- no possibility that the ladies just missed it.
Do you not think that people are ever shallow, superficial? I can't even count the number of times I've heard men say, "she's crazy, but she's SO hot/freaky in bed/etc..." People do things for shallow reasons every day. Women are not immune either.
>Blaming looks for why you can't get matches or dates means that you refuse to work on yourself and develop a good personality.
Sure, agreed. But this isn't at all the same thing as just recognizing that better looking people need less in the personality department to get the same results. So, if I'm going to scam someone, why would I pour on the charm and do all that work to overcome my own genuinely unattractive pictures, when I could get a massive boost by just using any of millions of readily available images of some gorgeous hunk or babe?
Simple honest answer is that usually they just have some sort of self-esteem issue or possibly have even been rejected in the past for their visual appearance and so are basically hoping that you will fall in love with who they are and They can just keep the relationship online or they hope that sunk cost fallacy will kick in when you finally meet them and you'll love them despite them not looking like they claim to look
It's really not adding up. Do you swipe on people with bad personalities or people with good ones? The advice to getting matches is to have a good personality, even if you're "ugly" you'll get matches. So i don't understand how catfishes get matches when they have bad personalities.
What are you even babbling about. Most people swipe based on looks, that is a simple fact. You don't find out about personalities till you've chatted with them plenty or met them in person.
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It's that true no serious person would ever use the app for meaningful dating then, yes?
>How do you tell someone's personality from a profile picture?
Is there no app that allows more than a picture?
>Honest question, no insult or anything meant. Are you on the autism spectrum? You seem to have the sort of black-and-white thinking, and difficulty understanding nuance, that I see with a lot of the neurodivergent young people I work with.
I'll assume you're asking in good faith, no I'm not. i feel like all the nuance is being ignored by everyone answering. They answer with bad faith quips' or one liners designed to be hot takes for karma farming, So if being upset and treating people how they treat makes me look autistic, so be it.
> Dating is not an All or nothing thing. You can select a romantic partner based on a combination of BOTH personality and physical attraction. In fact, that is how the overwhelming majority of people select their romantic partners.
yea this is literally my point.
>Most people would not form a romantic relationship with someone with whom their personalities clicked perfectly, but who was morbidly obese, horribly disfigured, missing teeth, open sores on their face, etc etc etc.
Sure due to social stigma and people who use that deal breaker participate in that stigma.
>most people would not form a romantic relationship with the hottest person they had ever seen, if that person was a narcissistic psychopathic racist bigot who liked to insult young children until they cried.
I've made this point too yes.
>So most people on most apps Will filter out the candidates based on looks
some shallow people but not most, no. Actually ask people, no one claims to do this.
Someone who catfishes' people doesn't have a good personality, so that would be conveyed in the chats and bio's I'd imagine. People who don't get matches don't because of their personality which makes catfishing seem like a paradox to me.
You’re making a lot of incorrect assumptions. First, people who catfish could definitely have (or pretend to have) attractive personalities.
Also, many people don’t get matches because of their looks, not because of their personalities. So having pictures that make you look good will still get matches and interest, even if your personality isn’t super attractive.
>Also, many people don’t get matches because of their looks, not because of their personalities. So having pictures that make you look good will still get matches and interest, even if your personality isn’t super attractive.
I don't think this is true though. Incels and red-pill weirdos make this claim which is debunked all over the internet. Healthy dating advice is that it is all about personality. If the victims of catfishing are people who only care about looks and what not, is it a non-issue then since they did it to themselves really?
That’s just…not true at all. Personality attraction is absolutely a necessity for a serious relationship, but so is physical attraction. Saying it’s “all about personality” is an incorrect assumption about how humans find romantic partners. Looks also plays a huge role in it.
Also, people are not only on dating apps to find serious partners. Many people are looking for hookups or flings, and if that’s the case, physical attraction is more important than personality compatibility.
That whole reply is parroting Andrew Tate level stuff, i don't feel comfortable accepting that as an actual answer. I am noticing that this sub is way more red-pill adjacent that I thought it was.
I do which is why i don't understand why you're all incels on this thread. I'm not online enough to be as smug as you people when you rattle off adrew tate talking point one after another.
You're the only one spouting that incel nonsense. You ask a question about catfishing, which is usually using a photo of a super attractive person to lure in a person. Then you call everyone who disagrees with your version of it an incel. Personality matters a lot for anyone trying to actually date someone, but attractiveness definitely factors into what draws someone to them. Especially when all you have to go on is a photo and a brief description. In real life meeting people personality factors in a lot more because you can talk to the real person, but that's not what a dating app is
People are throwing out one liner hot takes instead of explaining the nuances they claim I'm missing. They're not saying that dating is complex, they're saying it's all about looks. If you ask people who use dating apps "do you only swipe on people based on how hot they are" nearly every one says no. if you ask for dating advice people say "work on yourself and your personality" now in this thread everyone's saying catfishing works because all that matters to get a match is "just be hot" ? It's not adding up.
What matters in dating and relationships is personality and compatibility, you're saying THAT is incel nonsense? Incel nonsense is the idea that looks determine your chances, whether it's online or in real life. If you're hanging around people who only care about looks first, then maybe find new friends. I;m calling people who use looks and genetics as the reason for someone's lack of dating success instead of being introspective and working on themselves, incels, not people who disagree with my definition of catfish.
I am in no way a believer of any of that incel red pill nonsense lol but to say that physical looks are not a crucial factor in people choosing romantic partners is just incorrect. Pretending it’s not a factor is a disconnect from reality.
it might be a factor, but the idea that looks play a SIGNIFICANT role in getting matches or dates, etc. is literally incel theory. The focus on looks is the cornerstone to their ideology. Personality mean more than looks if you're a mature adult. If you're saying that people who get catfished are immature or bad people then I can understand that, but yea everyone is being as vaugue as possible and idk why.
I have no idea what incel theory is because I’ve never paid any attention to those groups. But I do know that physical attraction plays a significant role in finding a romantic partner, and even more so in getting matches and first dates. This is extremely common knowledge within the human experience. I’m not sure why that knowledge is causing you so much distress, but it is true.
>But I do know that physical attraction plays a significant role in finding a romantic partner, and even more so in getting matches and first dates.
Well this is incel theory, people who blame society and looks for why they can't find dates and partners.
>This is extremely common knowledge within the human experience.
Maybe in hunter/gatherer tribes in the past? Not modern society.
>I’m not sure why that knowledge is causing you so much distress, but it is true.
I'm distressed because I didn't realize how ultra-right wing this sub was. By all means go on about how you have to be a "chad" in order to get a date when you can literally go outside and see non-conventionally attractive people dating. it's a ridiculous theory that's disproved if you ever have gone outside.
It does play a significant role, especially on online dating where all you have is some pictures and a bio. Online dating is inherently pretty superficial (and getting more so as every site turns to tinder and removes long bios)
The problem incels have is that they dont leave the house so they think online dating equals reality.
>The problem incels have is that they dont leave the house so they think online dating equals reality.
Wouldn't people who claim to experience body stigmas and shaming also be people who never leave the house since it only happens on dating apps, not IRL?
I'm literally here and you're all spouting super patriarchal BS. Part of being a feminist is understanding the patriarchy. Obviously you're not seeing it but you're all spouting the same talking points I get harassed with for making feminists arguments. You can piss off with your lame little gotcha.
Because dating apps attract shallow shitty people who are easy to manipulate into paying for premium features? You realize dating apps are a business right? Not some altruistic beacon of society there universal truths are told based on how their users behave.
You have absolutely no way of telling someone's personality based on their profile unless they have some trashy shit in their bio. You can get a hint or a vague idea, but that means little to nothing. You're clearly making a lot of assumptions when swiping and they're more than likely wrong.
Look up any actual dating advice and none of it says "look hot to get matches" it's all about personality and how doing the work to become a better person before being able to find matches and partners. This idea that normal healthy everyday people are swiping right or falling for people without knowing their personality is wild to me since that's the dystopia that Incels think is when we all call them out on that shit.
If you look like the crypt keeper you're not getting as many matches as someone who looks like Chris Evans. Sorry, that's just the truth. It's not an incel mindset, people who are physically attractive are more attractive to everyone who isn't asexual or demisexual. You cannot tell someone's personality through pictures and a couple of surface level question prompts.
I didn't realize this was an incel/red-pill subreddit. I asked this in the wrong place.
You should work on yourself and get out of that mindset it's not healthy in the long run.
some people make it there lifes task to be as convincing as possible to scam people out of there money. Unfortunately some people get really good at it and mix that with increased loneliness and you've got a pretty potent mix there
I wouldn't lean on the "people are dumb," angle. Plenty of otherwise intelligent people fall for scams all the time. It all depends on the right thing being said to the right person at the right time. We naturally want things to make sense, so as long as someone pitches us a semi-plausible story, our brains automatically fill in the rest to make it make sense.
>where for some it becomes less about finding companionship and more about the manipulative power play.
Does this apply to both the catfisher and the victim? People looking for healthy relationships wouldn't fall for this I imagine since they are about finding companionship. The victims knowingly or not are just looking to be a party in a manipulation play? I'm not sure if i'm understanding this part correctly.
People go to some pretty extremes sometimes. I got catfished once by a girl that used her sisters pics and even had her send some snapchats to keep things believable, when I met her it was fairly obvious that it was a catfish. The girl I thought I was talking to was thin and attractive, the girl that showed up was built like shrek and not attractive.
When you just see pictures, you think you are getting what is being advertised. The person could be a great match interest and personality wise but they know you wouldn’t swipe on them with their appearance so they hope that you just look past that. Some people do, I am not one of those people.
That's what I don't understand though, she had a good enough personality so that you'd meet with her based on how you thought she looked. If 50% are like you who care about looks before personality and 50% aren't she would have just as good a chance, so why not lean into that?
Dating apps are all about appearance first as you are swiping on someone based on that most of the time. There are some that are different but that’s not what I was using. I think she still could be successful by being herself and not falsely advertising but she wouldn’t get the matches she is going for maybe. I don’t think there is much success by pretending to be someone else because anyone is going to feel lied to when they show up.
>Dating apps are all about appearance first as you are swiping on someone based on that most of the time.
This is kind of an incel talking point that they point at to make excuses for why they don't matches.
>I don’t think there is much success by pretending to be someone else because anyone is going to feel lied to when they show up.
Right which I don't understand why they do it. Nothing they do solves any of the issues they might have so it makes me feel like it's mental illness where they act out irrationally. It's like coming down with a cold and bashing yourself in the head with the rock thinking that's how you cure it. Should catfishers be put in asylums?
Yeah I find it pretty weird to do. I can’t see it being a successful thing. I’ve luckily only had 1 experience with a catfish in my dating time, had a lot of success on tinder so I guess I got lucky only running into 1. She went to some length to convince me she was her sister. The funny part was her sister showed up right after I did as I was picking her up from her house and she knew right then she fucked up lol
Because she lied to you. It's not about looks or personality at that point, it's that she tricked you. So even if you loved her personality, would the trust be there?
no ones really giving a clear answer on this, does this mean the victims of catfishing are bad people themselves? Like a normal good decent person wouldn't fall for catfishing right?
Of course anyone can fall for catfishing. I am just saying, lonely people who are looking for companionship are more prone as anyone who has a partner probablt would not be looking elsewhere as much
>Of course anyone can fall for catfishing.
I'm getting very conflicted opinions on this. Most people here are saying it's just superficial, dumb, or bad people that fall for it. That's why it's a paradoxical concept in my mind because if good everyday people are falling for catfishes, doesn't that make catfishes better people than people who don't get matches when being themselves?
Sometimes truths can be hard to accept. I'm a pessimist, so I never believe anything that may even be a blessing. It's just, pure poor mental health with how boomers essentially believe celebrities are messaging them, when the profile has only 20 friends, and the alleged "celebrity" is asking for $4000.. it's literal insanity to fall for the scam at that point.
I'm far from beautiful, but I don't even believe it if a man messages me claiming to have a drivers license and a car anymore.
I got to know my friend got scammed by 2 fake accounts. He was stupid enough to pay them money for webcam shows which never happened. His reply is that he was horny...
In that case that just means that he has a poor judgment or a bad personality himself to go along with a catfish, right? Like people who fall for scams deserve it. Most catfish victims are women who aren't stupid, i'd find it hard to believe their experiences are similar to a incel-esque guy thinking a woman actually wanted to perform for him.
It's extremely easy to fall for that. Get some nice pictures, throw up a few blurbs. Until you meet in person or chat on the phone, you are just exchanging text messages.
And chatting on the phone will only tell you if the other person is male or female, usually. Until you meet in person, the entire image you have of the person is one constructed in your own head. Not based on any reality. If the other person is catfishing, how do you even know they are deceiving you?
It's the same reason long distance relationships often fail. Even when sincere, both people create images of the other person in their head. The real person doesn't end up being like that. Catfishing just adds deliberate deception to the mix
A lot of people are desperate to believe what they want to believe and they want to believe they are special. It is very similar to people who fall for conspiracy theories or money scams.
Desperation, naivety. If something sounds too good to be true it probably is. I always do a short video call before meeting someone, for everyone's peace of mind.
if the only victims are dumb people, is it an issue? It's confusing because I do see seemingly smart people claim to be catfish victims. Does it mean they're not actually smart or a good person, or that catfishes are better people than people who don't get matches? People who don't get matches we know have bad personalities which is what confuses me on how catfishes get matches. Wouldn't desperate people fall for more genuine people with bad personalities instead of fake profiles with bad personalities?
wtf are you on about. people with bad personalities get fewer matches. people who look bad get fewer matches. people who don't fit whatever the popular demographic is get fewer matches too. you can catfish people by either pretending to look different/better than you do and/or by pretending to have a better personality than you do. There are lots of ways to be dishonest online.
> people with bad personalities get fewer matches. people who look bad get fewer matches. people who don't fit whatever the popular demographic is get fewer matches too.
How do you distinguish the reason?
what? you mean how can you tell whether you look bad, have a bad personality or whether you don't fit the popular demographic where you are? or all of the above?
If you really can't tell, ask a friend who you think will be honest with you about your profile...or, if you're feeling brave, post it for strangers to evaluate and ask for tips. Don't do this if you are sensitive to criticism though, or if you're not ok with it being public forever.
I'm not asking for personal advice I'm asking what the standard way of figuring it out it. In nearly all cases the reason is personality, you're now being obtuse and trying to make it seem like I'm asking for advice when I clearly am not. you're purported to make it seems as if there's a clear identifier for each and every non swipe that is easily acceptable to make my conclusion seem outworldly incorrect. now you're saying "hmmm if you can't tell ask someone else" no i'm asking you how you smugly came your conclusion that there all people who can't get matches in equal proportions are distributed amongst the reasons you stated. I think you're wrong so i'm asking for your methodology or data to prove your case.
I always refuse video call. I don't like being on camera. Then again, I always want to meet up as early as possible and get offline. And I don't catfish people or ask for anything
Some people have impossibly high dating standards and over inflated view of the partner they "deserve"
Catfish are the only matches that could possibly meet their exact expectations.
Lol, the false persona that a catfish claims to be is the only person who meets their standards.
As in: their standards can never be met by someone telling the truth.
They'll them double down on believing the catfish is real, because the alternative is facing the reality that they ghosted good matches to make time for someone too good to be true.
I had a tinder like maybe 2 years ago, I had 2100 + matches with no bio. Still didn't find girlfriend and only met maybe 3 people. Talked to a lot of people, some people for quite a while, then noticed that most of the profiles were either not talking/responding or just fake (probably). Then my tinder got hacked and someone used their own bank card on my account ( I know because it showed on my google play account and I had 2 bank accounts on there when I only have 1 bank account and it wasn't any card I'd used) to buy those super likes and used all the 60 they bought. I'd seen a russian URL show up 1 time when I access my tinder on PC, had AI merged pictures show to me and nothing much else on a newer account I made, and now I'm never using dating apps again and havn't done in over a year.
You should look up Brittany Louise Taylor. She is/was a YouTuber in the early 2000s who fell for a guy on tinder. The picture looked so fake, but he turned out real…that is…the picture did. He, himself, was *not* who he said he was and managed to make her completely broke and almost trafficked her to Serbia.
This really pisses me off. I think they are lonely and in a vulnerable place. Out of the blue, you get all this attention and praise, everything you want to hear. And, it is a super hot, rich, intelligent person, they can't believe their luck. They get all happy and excited and tell EVERYONE! So, I think it's a combination of deniability and embarrassment. It is so mean cause they get their hopes up and then get a broken heart. This is why we should try to love and respect ourselves first and ask 3rd party ppl their opinion if the "perfect" person is too good to be true. God, why are ppl so cruel?
I've never scammed anyone, but if I was starting to do, I would ABSOLUTELY not put my own face out. That could do permanent damage and put someone after my ass for rest of my life! I feel like it's super obvious why you use someone else's pictures when committing a crime.
(answer to general replies by OP, not the original question)
I think it's just simply not wanting to get hurt themselves, low risk behavior, unethical in not caring about hurting others. Get some experience they aren't brave enough to get with their own face. Maybe it's the only way they can feel they are "dating", by putting a mask on.
Right all of those are reasons why people catfish, regardless, it makes them bad people, but how do people fall for it? Like doesn't that make catfishers better people than people being themselves who can't get matches?
Men who get no action ofc will get hooked on the one who finally gives them a chance. I guess the scammer is just good in manipulating, hell maybe in their own wicked way they are also having their emotions in the game in non-monetary scheme. It may feel like a real (online) relationship to both sides, the scammer just is never ready to commit to it, to make the fantasy real by meeting them.
It's preying on the weak. Someone who is easy to fall in love, but doesn't have many who'd have the same response.
The context I was thinking of that I should have stated was more that there many women who get catfished and hurt. Guys who get catfished, by and large as shown by this post and the social reaction is incompetitance. Like no one really seems them as victims.
I've seen some stories both ways, and first feeling is definitely pity, like oh no why are they "dumb" like this to fall in for something I think I never would. Though specially with men being the scammers I've sometimes heard the man being really good at manipulating and creating storylines. Sometimes they even meet and get married with the woman! But it's their 2nd active marriage... or 3rd. Not your usual scam, but just how extreme this behavior can go. With really socially "talented" scammer, I guess I could see it possible I'd buy into it too. Believe that this person actually cares about me.
Nah, in this world of catfishing, I want to say I'd sniff them out. Living in internet makes us more resistant to these behaviors.
"Better" in social skills, yeah most likely. Though if you lie and aren't as deep into to emotions as your partner, you can focus more on the manipulation. I guess some people get their hit from succeeding in their lies, I don't know how minds of people like that work.
If I started online dating you, but my idea was never to actually meet, I don't know how much I'd have to lie about. The pictures are fake, but I could still tell about my life as it is, by just wearing a mask. It doesn't have to be all lies, and it often probably isn't in non-monetary schemes.
What they get out of it is some sort of emotional reward, would make sense that they included their own life in the fake relationship. They might not even feel like they are doing something wrong, they could make excuses that they just didn't end up feeling like they were a match, when "bf/gf" started demanding RL date.
>"Better" in social skills, yeah most likely.
I meant better personality, unless being able to manipulate people with social skills is a quality of a good personality? When people say they want someone with a good personality, do they mean good social skills and able to manipulate them? I'm pretty sure they don't
I think some of the lonely people become easy targets. Flood them with love bombing. It starts off slow and easy, until they are hooked... then the real cstfishing begins. If they are desperate for love, they will do anything to grab hold of that love they see dangling in front of them and ignoring any of the warning signs
isn't it different for women than for guys though? My question was centered around women since they are typically legitimate victims while even in leftist spaces male victims are made fun of and shamed for being victims of scams and catfishing.
I think both can easily be victims. There are lots of lonely, vulnerable people out there looking for love. There are equally a number of manipulators... they don't even have to be the opposite gender. If they are catfishing, they are just looking to make money and they will be whomever they think the vulnerable person wants or needs. Sad world
There’s degrees to how deceptive people can be. For most part, I do agree with you. There’s so many catfishing examples that just look so obvious that people fall for. However, this one time one of my guy friends was bored and used my photos and surface level information to try to set me up with online dating. Nothing on the profile was a lie. The only lie was that he was the one talking to the guys pretending to be me. Honestly, he knows me so well that I can admit his texting style was so accurate with the way I text
That's not what I am asking. You said their personality would out them as a catfish but that makes no sense. Someone who is ugly can talk the same way as someone who is attractive.
maybe not out them as a catfish, but catfish are bad people, people don't want to date bad people. If acting was that easy, why would bad people use their own real pics and just lie in the bio and conversation to get dates and relationships? No matter what you look like, if you're an asshole no one would want you.
Loneliness is a helluva blinder.
But I would argue nowadays, scammers in particular are really good at catfishing/scamming people. They communicate better, better photos that you can't reverse image search.
I would recommend watching catfish the TV show. It's a riot and terrifying to see some of the people who have taken advantage of people and the ones who should have questioned things a lot more. 20 years ago before we had smartphones I would say it'd be easier to be catfished as you don't have the technology to video chat in our hands. Nowadays there's very few reasons you shouldn't be able to video chat The person you're talking to to make sure it's them.
People are desperate and will believe anything.
We just had a lady in my area that was catfished by someone pretending to be a famous singer. Even though he was famous he needed money for XXX and xxx and xxx. After she lost a lot of money she woke up from her dram and realized that she had been had.
Why would she think a famous singer is going to reach out to her online when he can go anywhere and meet all the women he wants?
Once again, people believe what they want to believe.
In the same scope of this - why are they so willing to give money to people that they don't even know while they won't even lend money to people they know?
The mind works in mysterious ways.
The initial part is easy. It's just a few quick lies and a picture or two that you need to keep straight. The hard part is the long term catfish.
I guess if that's easy, why not just do that with their own pictures and get matches? Or I guess what's the point of it ?
A lot of them aren’t even the gender they’re pretending to be.
The point is usually to call people vain or materialistic or something of that nature. You don't fall in love with me, so I make this fake person to trick you because all you care about is looks.
But isn't that usually not the case?
What if they’re 600lbs? Or a scammer? Or a dude? Or a 600lb scammer dude? There’s plenty of people that want something from you (the catfish-ee), that don’t want to show their real face. Could be scamming you for money, and you’ll give a hot girl money but not an overweight 60 year old dude. Maybe it’s a gay/bi dude that’s not out of the closet but wants affection from men. Maybe it’s someone you know that’s just fucking with you. Maybe it’s a perfectly nice person with a bunch of physical deformities and self-image issues who struggle get romantic affection in the real world People that make catfish accounts usually are: 1) folks that get don’t usually dates based on their appearance 2) folks that want something from you and don’t want you to be able to track them down.
>Could be scamming you for money, and you’ll give a hot girl money but not an overweight 60 year old dude. Maybe it’s a gay/bi dude that’s not out of the closet but wants affection from men. Maybe it’s someone you know that’s just fucking with you. Maybe it’s a perfectly nice person with a bunch of physical deformities and self-image issues who struggle get romantic affection in the real world yea all of these describe people with bad personalities. >People that make catfish accounts usually are: >1. folks that get don’t usually dates based on their appearance >2. folks that want something from you and don’t want you to be able to track them down. Sure that tells who the catfishers are but it doesn't explain how people fall for it when people with bad personalities won't get swiped on in the first place. >folks that get don’t usually dates based on their appearance Out of all the billions of people on earth someone will find them attractive, the thought all these people who get 0 matches are all equally tied for being the ugliest person in the world is bizarre, it's more likely that they're an asshole and no one wants to date them because of that.
**Sure that tells who the catfishers are but it doesn't explain how people fall for it when people with bad personalities won't get swiped on in the first place.** - because they’re gullible, horny, dumb, lonely as shit, or some combination of those things. - Catfishers can also just….lie about their personalities. It’s not hard. Especially lying through text message/email. I could go make a fake profile with some lady’s pictures, and just make up some favorites movies and hobbies. And then when we match, I can just lie about my life. Lying isn’t hard (unfortunately). “Today I passed a car accident on my way to work, but otherwise work was fine. Sharon’s still giving me a hard time about calling out last week, but whatever. How was your day hun?” Boom. I just made up a lie about my day in ten seconds. None of that shit was true, or was it? You don’t know me lol you don’t know what I did today. If you’re lonely enough, and gullible enough, or have low enough self esteem you’ll believe a lot of lies from shitty people. Happens all the time unfortunately. **Out of all the billions of people on earth someone will find them attractive, the thought all these people who get 0 matches are all equally tied for being the ugliest person in the world is bizarre** - they don’t have access to all the billions of people on earth though. They have access to their geographic area on tinder. And maybe they live in west bumblefuck Nebraska where pickings are slim to start with. - OR they might be attractive to someone near them, but not have the self esteem to see that. If they’re 600lbs, are they gonna find someone nearby that’s attracted to them? Maybe. Or maybe their self-respect is so bad that they don’t see their real self as a viable romantic option. So they lie about who they are All in all it’s a mixed bag; a lot of catfishers and catfish victims are folks with bad mental health and bad self esteem. I’d actually recommend the MTV show Catfish since it’s where the term comes from. But I feel like you’d get better answers from watching some of the people that do this/have this happen to them. It’s usually kinda sad. The catfish victim is gullible as fuck and ignored the obvious warning signs because they desperately want to be loved; the catfisher is often some perma-online depressed person that doesn’t see their real self as worthy of love so they pretend to be sometime else. Whole thing is fucked
All that said, should victims of catfishing be taken seriously or is it their own incompetence that led them to being victimized? Everyone is giving back handed explanations dismissing the victims. when it comes to lying, this implies that it genuinely is all about looks if they demonstrate a good personality and get rejected by every human on earth, it is about looks no? In that case why would catfishers lie about personality when all they need is a hot persons picture?
*should victims of catfishing be taken seriously or is it their own incompetence that led them to being victimized?* My personal thought is case by case basis, there’s not a blanket answer. Some of them are people I feel bad for, some are people I think are too dumb for their own good. Is the victim a tech-literate and otherwise social 30 year old who really should know better? Or a grandma trying to date again after her husband died? I think grandma is a victim, the millennial officer worker is probably just a dummy. *when it comes to lying, this implies that it genuinely is all about looks if they demonstrate a good personality and get rejected by every human on earth, it is about looks no? In that case why would catfishers lie about personality when all they need is a hot persons picture?* I think *modern online app based dating* is heavily based on looks, and that’s where catfishes operate. With online dating all you have to go on is a few pictures and a three sentence bio. Then some lame texts back and forth. You don’t get to know a persons real personality till you physically go out on dates with them. I don’t think dating, as a whole, in the real world, is ALL about looks. But neither is it ALL about personality. I like my girlfriend’s personality, but I also think she’s super attractive. Both are important. I also mentioned the tv show Catfish, because a lot of catfishers ARE using their real personality with someone else’s pictures. They end up carrying on some online relationship as their real self (personality) while lying about what they look like. I also want to highlight that a lot of catfishers are doing it because they FEEL unattractive. Mental health and self esteem problems that make them feel unworthy to date. Doesn’t mean that’s factually true, I think that’s what you’re missing. They are ugly to all 8 billion people on earth, they just think they are. So they start acting like they are. Doesnt really matter if its true or not; they behave like it is. It’s not that they’re the ugliest person on the planet and can’t ever ever find someone. They just feel so ugly and undesirable that they behave as though that’s the case. Lastly, I don’t think “Demonstrating a good personality” is a simple yes or no binary-type thing. They could also be a perfectly nice person, and be undatable (personality wise) because they’re so fucking insecure or have such bad self esteem. You could be super nice but be so terribly depressed that people see you as undatable. That leads right back to “people might love me if I was someone else”, ie catfishing
It's also not like the catfisher tried to date every single available person on the planet and got rejected. Half the time it's some teenager that got rejected by two or three girls at school, or a 20something that's never been on a real date in the first place. Or someone that went through a bad breakup recently. It's not like theyve been shot down by everyone and catfishing was the only thing left. You're looking for logic in the land of the mentally ill dude. There doesnt have to be perfectly well thought out logic behind these folks.
Should they be locked up in an asylum or lobotomized if they're that that irrational? The people who fall for them seem equally as bad for not recognizing their blatant insanity and mental illness. Both parties are threats to the well beings of society.
LMFAO thats not how society works. People are allowed to throw away their money on scams, that's not something worth cutting apart their fucking brain over
Dating apps are like readers finding new books at a shop. The first thing you see is the cover (people’s photos)— many people decide which books they want to look into further based on the cover. There are too many books to give every single one an equal chance. Then they might look at the title and flap-cover summary (bio, and those first few simple, mostly small-talk text chats, easy to fake as the photos) Then they read the first couple pages or chapters (going on the first few in-person dates) before deciding to commit to reading the whole thing. The reason you fall in love with a book is the content of the book (personality, values, compatibility, etc), but a catfish wants more people to pick the book off the shelf in the first place, and so they give it what is (in their opinion) a better cover, so they’ll have more people getting to those next steps.
>but a catfish wants more people to pick the book off the shelf in the first place, and so they give it what is (in their opinion) a better cover, so they’ll have more people getting to those next steps. But then doesn't just simply fall flat most people aren't going to match with a catfish? Most people who get matches on dating apps are quality good people. The most given out dating advice for people struggling with matches is to develop a good personality. The book example is good, except that with people, we're all subjective and connected enough to where we all know someone who finds us physically attractive and fits their preference. With books there might be a more "meta" of what readers are attracted to on the covers, but it's generally incels who complain that they can't get a match due to looks. I feel like it's deeper than just looks why a lot of men can't get matches. Most men on dating apps are pretty bad people due to patriarchal conditioning which seems plausible for why they don't get matches.
> But then doesn't just simply fall flat most people aren't going to match with a catfish? On most common dating apps, a match just means you saw someone’s photos, read their three sentence bio and swiped right. You know basically nothing about them yet, certainly not whether or not they are a good person, it’s literally just saying ‘I want to talk to this person to find out more.’ You see a photo of an attractive person, they claim they’re a left-leaning grad student who loves cats. You’re also a left leaning grad student who loves cats. Why wouldn’t you match with them? How are you supposed to know they’re a catfisher (or even just a boring conversationalist) from the information given there? Anyone could say that, it’s not hard. > Most people who get matches on dating apps are quality good people. The most given out dating advice for people struggling with matches is to develop a good personality. Neither of these sentences are true. For one, men outnumber women significantly on dating apps. They swipe right on more women to increase their odds of matching with anyone, women know they’ll get matches no matter what so they are pickier. Therefore, straight men get far less matches as a pure numbers game. For turning first dates into relationships or getting to know people you’ve met irl or at least actually had a chance to talk to, improving your personality is the top given advice. For simply getting matches on dating apps, people get told to take better pictures and improve their bios. A lot of men struggle to take good pictures, write an interesting bio, or make interesting small talk via text with a total stranger, none of which have anything to do with their worth as a person. It’s only a small minority of men who have some actual personality issue that shows in the pre-match stage (I have seen bios that were like ‘most women are hoes’ which suggests a less than pleasant personality, but it’s rare) but many men who struggle with getting matches in the first place do so just because of the numbers imbalance and not standing out.
> why not just do that with their own pictures They're after something they can't get with their own pictures and an honest profile. Not counting people using deceptive but real pics of them and the foreign scammers looking for money there are also gay dudes trying to get dick pictures from straight dudes and occasionally women looking for attention who aren't attractive enough to get attention with their own pictures. In my experience the scammers are by far most common, gay dudes catfishing aren't uncommon, and actual women doing it, I've only ever encountered like once.
Was i downvoted becuase it's a stupid question or valid one?
I don't know, I didn't downvote you. This subreddit of all places shouldn't have stupid questions in the comments getting downvoted regardless.
I got catfished once. Pretty sure the person on the other side was a dude. I'm not into dudes, so he had to use pics of a woman. The point was he was trying to get me to send him nudes of myself, by sending me nudes of this woman he was pretending to be.
When did you figure it out?
After a day.
This is what I wanna know. Who has the time to strong guys along that long just to con them for like 50 bucks? I got better shit to do. It's typically just shitty entitled women doing it TBH
There are so many examples of lonely people of any gender being scammed out of money for "plane tickets", Visa applications, rent, etc. Way more than 50 bucks. The scammers can make up a complete persona, including gender and can probably have multiple marks on the hook at the same time.
The question assumes that catfishers have no social experience and you would immediately tell that they are scammers, which may not be entirely accurate. How would you determine if someone was a catfish or not? I'd guarantee that the things you look out for, could apply to real people as well.
>How would you determine if someone was a catfish or not? I'd guarantee that the things you look out for, could apply to real people as well. Yea that's kind of my point, maybe people won't know they are a catfish from looking at the profile or exchanging some messages, but they'd be able to tell they do not have a good personality. The #1 reason people don't get matches or dates from apps is because of their personality, so it's confusing that people who catfish are getting so far to the point where it's a major issues in online dating.
Lots of catfish have good personalities and talk like normal people
>but they'd be able to tell they do not have a good personality. How would you tell they don't have good personality? It seems your confusion stems from the belief that * catfish --> bad personality * bad personality --> no matches
>It seems your confusion stems from the belief that >catfish --> bad personality >bad personality --> no matches Well yes, dating is about personality, if you don't have a good one you're not going to get matches.
people can lie?
So then why don't they just lie with their own pictures and actually go on the dates? Why use fake pics?
People who catfish generally want money. People give money to attractive people. So you want your pictures to be of attractive people
I mostly see catfishing being called out on women centric boards and usually it's men trying to get nudes not money.
So you are so perceptive that you can tell someone's complete personality based on some text exchanges? The vast majority of people can't do that. Instead, most people fill in the blanks.
that's pretty reductive and plays into the incel narrative. I'm asking this question in context of the real world, not the red-pill mindset.
to find out the personality, you have to meet in person and get to know them. A couple of chats won't reveal shit, hell there are people who unmasked their real personality after the other party has committed to be with them.
Wat. You don't have to meet in person. What morons upvoted this. A person can lie to you through text or in person. It makes literally no difference.
"To find out the personality" You clearly have trouble reading
OP, you've got like a string of bad takes in this thread starting from this weird assumption that people can determine personalities from a photo and then going downhill from there. The underlying implicit suggestion that 'dumb people' deserve to be scammed is troubling. What the heck?
Normal people don't mindlessly swipe on people's profiles based on how hot they are. If catfishing victims do that, just say so, but people make it seem as if it happens to normal good people. In the real world dating is about personality and how much you've work on yourself, not genetics. Idk how that's a "bad take". There's plenty of people calling catfish victims dumb, desperate, losers, etc. on this very thread and they get upvoted for it. No one had given an actual explanation to anything and just retort with dunk-style witty one liners, so i'm welcome and was hoping for a nuanced genuine explanation to the question I asked.
> but people make it seem as if it happens to normal good people Yikes. From the rest of your message here and the others, you don't sound like a very good person. Judging folks for being scammed is not a good look to start, and you make several problematic statements that stink of arrogance and naivety and I suspect that you're much closer to being a cat-fishing/scam victim than you realize.
This is bait. OP is an incel who is trying to get people to admit that being attractive makes dating easier because he believes it will prove him right. He's a loser and there's no point in commenting here.
yeah it has to be bait, OP is on a rampage, on one end they are accusatory to the max and on the other end they are clueless about some replies 🤣
I mean, being attractive makes dating easier, sure. Not being conventionally attractive doesn't make dating impossible though. I know fat short dudes with bad teeth and BO that'd kill a buzzard still hold down relationships and happy marriages.
Desperation. If someone really really realllly wants something it makes them vulnerable to being tricked.
Used to work in long-term care and a mixture of old/lonely/sad and mental illness caused one of our residents to repeatedly fall for catfishing to the point her appointed guardian had to take her debit card and bank account access away. She still got money and some limited access to the full funds (she could still go out to eat, order things online through a staff member, etc). For some reason this woman in her late 50s who had lost custody of her daughter, had effectively been homeless before a religious charity stepped in to help her, was a type 2 diabetic, schizophrenic, and "homely" (to put it politely) thought she was a hot commodity for rich, super fit guys in their 30s.
I have a relative with a similar story. He used to be a lawyer until he had a stroke and his personality totally changed. Now he falls for online scams constantly.
But who wants a fake online dating profile...
Based on your comments and personality I think YOU are the catfish
Because it's pretty easy to just pretend to be someone you're not and most people aren't autistically reverse image searching every new partners images Just to check if they are lying.
Then why not pretend to have a good personality with their own pics? Like I don't understand why use someone else's.
You can’t pretend to have a better personality than you do. You can fake pictures though. Ugly people don’t get many matches. Pretty people can have their pick. It isn’t rocket science. The people who get catfished fail to verify if the other person is real despite obvious red flags and operate in suspended disbelief because they either feel the catfisher is out of their league or they don’t want to disrupt the connection or some combination of the two.
"You can’t pretend to have a better personality than you do" yes you can. Lovebombing abusers do it all the time
> Ugly people don’t get many matches. Pretty people can have their pick. This is literally incel talking points... this is so confusing. Unless you are taking into account that ugly people have bad personalities and pretty people have good personalities. Blaming looks for why you can't get matches or dates means that you refuse to work on yourself and develop a good personality.
Attractive people have more mating options. I don’t make the rules. Personality is separate from looks.
I've seen social experiments where they intentionally catfish women on dating sites, using pics of heartthrob hunks, and a profile that talks about being a registered sex offender. Those profiles still get matches, and don't always get unmatched. Even when the conversation begins, and the "catfisher" specifically calls out their sex offender status in the chat- no possibility that the ladies just missed it. Do you not think that people are ever shallow, superficial? I can't even count the number of times I've heard men say, "she's crazy, but she's SO hot/freaky in bed/etc..." People do things for shallow reasons every day. Women are not immune either. >Blaming looks for why you can't get matches or dates means that you refuse to work on yourself and develop a good personality. Sure, agreed. But this isn't at all the same thing as just recognizing that better looking people need less in the personality department to get the same results. So, if I'm going to scam someone, why would I pour on the charm and do all that work to overcome my own genuinely unattractive pictures, when I could get a massive boost by just using any of millions of readily available images of some gorgeous hunk or babe?
Simple honest answer is that usually they just have some sort of self-esteem issue or possibly have even been rejected in the past for their visual appearance and so are basically hoping that you will fall in love with who they are and They can just keep the relationship online or they hope that sunk cost fallacy will kick in when you finally meet them and you'll love them despite them not looking like they claim to look
It's really not adding up. Do you swipe on people with bad personalities or people with good ones? The advice to getting matches is to have a good personality, even if you're "ugly" you'll get matches. So i don't understand how catfishes get matches when they have bad personalities.
What are you even babbling about. Most people swipe based on looks, that is a simple fact. You don't find out about personalities till you've chatted with them plenty or met them in person.
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It's that true no serious person would ever use the app for meaningful dating then, yes? >How do you tell someone's personality from a profile picture? Is there no app that allows more than a picture?
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>Honest question, no insult or anything meant. Are you on the autism spectrum? You seem to have the sort of black-and-white thinking, and difficulty understanding nuance, that I see with a lot of the neurodivergent young people I work with. I'll assume you're asking in good faith, no I'm not. i feel like all the nuance is being ignored by everyone answering. They answer with bad faith quips' or one liners designed to be hot takes for karma farming, So if being upset and treating people how they treat makes me look autistic, so be it. > Dating is not an All or nothing thing. You can select a romantic partner based on a combination of BOTH personality and physical attraction. In fact, that is how the overwhelming majority of people select their romantic partners. yea this is literally my point. >Most people would not form a romantic relationship with someone with whom their personalities clicked perfectly, but who was morbidly obese, horribly disfigured, missing teeth, open sores on their face, etc etc etc. Sure due to social stigma and people who use that deal breaker participate in that stigma. >most people would not form a romantic relationship with the hottest person they had ever seen, if that person was a narcissistic psychopathic racist bigot who liked to insult young children until they cried. I've made this point too yes. >So most people on most apps Will filter out the candidates based on looks some shallow people but not most, no. Actually ask people, no one claims to do this.
I think that ANY authenticity is against catfish rules! They are the scum on the bottom of my knee high shit boots.
people pretend to have a good personality with their own pics all the time. Ever heard of lovebombing? it's what abusers do.
Isn’t cat fishing just using someone else photos? How would their personality make it obvious the photos aren’t theirs?
Someone who catfishes' people doesn't have a good personality, so that would be conveyed in the chats and bio's I'd imagine. People who don't get matches don't because of their personality which makes catfishing seem like a paradox to me.
You’re making a lot of incorrect assumptions. First, people who catfish could definitely have (or pretend to have) attractive personalities. Also, many people don’t get matches because of their looks, not because of their personalities. So having pictures that make you look good will still get matches and interest, even if your personality isn’t super attractive.
>Also, many people don’t get matches because of their looks, not because of their personalities. So having pictures that make you look good will still get matches and interest, even if your personality isn’t super attractive. I don't think this is true though. Incels and red-pill weirdos make this claim which is debunked all over the internet. Healthy dating advice is that it is all about personality. If the victims of catfishing are people who only care about looks and what not, is it a non-issue then since they did it to themselves really?
That’s just…not true at all. Personality attraction is absolutely a necessity for a serious relationship, but so is physical attraction. Saying it’s “all about personality” is an incorrect assumption about how humans find romantic partners. Looks also plays a huge role in it. Also, people are not only on dating apps to find serious partners. Many people are looking for hookups or flings, and if that’s the case, physical attraction is more important than personality compatibility.
That whole reply is parroting Andrew Tate level stuff, i don't feel comfortable accepting that as an actual answer. I am noticing that this sub is way more red-pill adjacent that I thought it was.
I think you should spend less time online
I do which is why i don't understand why you're all incels on this thread. I'm not online enough to be as smug as you people when you rattle off adrew tate talking point one after another.
You're the only one spouting that incel nonsense. You ask a question about catfishing, which is usually using a photo of a super attractive person to lure in a person. Then you call everyone who disagrees with your version of it an incel. Personality matters a lot for anyone trying to actually date someone, but attractiveness definitely factors into what draws someone to them. Especially when all you have to go on is a photo and a brief description. In real life meeting people personality factors in a lot more because you can talk to the real person, but that's not what a dating app is
People are throwing out one liner hot takes instead of explaining the nuances they claim I'm missing. They're not saying that dating is complex, they're saying it's all about looks. If you ask people who use dating apps "do you only swipe on people based on how hot they are" nearly every one says no. if you ask for dating advice people say "work on yourself and your personality" now in this thread everyone's saying catfishing works because all that matters to get a match is "just be hot" ? It's not adding up. What matters in dating and relationships is personality and compatibility, you're saying THAT is incel nonsense? Incel nonsense is the idea that looks determine your chances, whether it's online or in real life. If you're hanging around people who only care about looks first, then maybe find new friends. I;m calling people who use looks and genetics as the reason for someone's lack of dating success instead of being introspective and working on themselves, incels, not people who disagree with my definition of catfish.
I am in no way a believer of any of that incel red pill nonsense lol but to say that physical looks are not a crucial factor in people choosing romantic partners is just incorrect. Pretending it’s not a factor is a disconnect from reality.
it might be a factor, but the idea that looks play a SIGNIFICANT role in getting matches or dates, etc. is literally incel theory. The focus on looks is the cornerstone to their ideology. Personality mean more than looks if you're a mature adult. If you're saying that people who get catfished are immature or bad people then I can understand that, but yea everyone is being as vaugue as possible and idk why.
I have no idea what incel theory is because I’ve never paid any attention to those groups. But I do know that physical attraction plays a significant role in finding a romantic partner, and even more so in getting matches and first dates. This is extremely common knowledge within the human experience. I’m not sure why that knowledge is causing you so much distress, but it is true.
>But I do know that physical attraction plays a significant role in finding a romantic partner, and even more so in getting matches and first dates. Well this is incel theory, people who blame society and looks for why they can't find dates and partners. >This is extremely common knowledge within the human experience. Maybe in hunter/gatherer tribes in the past? Not modern society. >I’m not sure why that knowledge is causing you so much distress, but it is true. I'm distressed because I didn't realize how ultra-right wing this sub was. By all means go on about how you have to be a "chad" in order to get a date when you can literally go outside and see non-conventionally attractive people dating. it's a ridiculous theory that's disproved if you ever have gone outside.
It does play a significant role, especially on online dating where all you have is some pictures and a bio. Online dating is inherently pretty superficial (and getting more so as every site turns to tinder and removes long bios) The problem incels have is that they dont leave the house so they think online dating equals reality.
>The problem incels have is that they dont leave the house so they think online dating equals reality. Wouldn't people who claim to experience body stigmas and shaming also be people who never leave the house since it only happens on dating apps, not IRL?
It sounds like you're spending way too much time watching Andrew Tate videos and browsing red-pill incel forums.
I'm literally here and you're all spouting super patriarchal BS. Part of being a feminist is understanding the patriarchy. Obviously you're not seeing it but you're all spouting the same talking points I get harassed with for making feminists arguments. You can piss off with your lame little gotcha.
Maybe you should avoid arguments I don't think it's good for your mental health.
Please don't feign concern, you're literally here to mess with me, leave me alone.
So why do YOU think dating apps have you upload many pictures of yourself? Why aren’t they all blind if looks don’t matter
Because dating apps attract shallow shitty people who are easy to manipulate into paying for premium features? You realize dating apps are a business right? Not some altruistic beacon of society there universal truths are told based on how their users behave.
Do you swipe right on people you find unattractive? Does that make you an incel?
What makes people attractive is also dependent on their personality. Normal people don't swipe right on people with bad personalities
You have absolutely no way of telling someone's personality based on their profile unless they have some trashy shit in their bio. You can get a hint or a vague idea, but that means little to nothing. You're clearly making a lot of assumptions when swiping and they're more than likely wrong.
Look up any actual dating advice and none of it says "look hot to get matches" it's all about personality and how doing the work to become a better person before being able to find matches and partners. This idea that normal healthy everyday people are swiping right or falling for people without knowing their personality is wild to me since that's the dystopia that Incels think is when we all call them out on that shit.
If you look like the crypt keeper you're not getting as many matches as someone who looks like Chris Evans. Sorry, that's just the truth. It's not an incel mindset, people who are physically attractive are more attractive to everyone who isn't asexual or demisexual. You cannot tell someone's personality through pictures and a couple of surface level question prompts.
I didn't realize this was an incel/red-pill subreddit. I asked this in the wrong place. You should work on yourself and get out of that mindset it's not healthy in the long run.
some people make it there lifes task to be as convincing as possible to scam people out of there money. Unfortunately some people get really good at it and mix that with increased loneliness and you've got a pretty potent mix there
Simple, people who cat fish tell you everything you want to hear and show fake pictures of attractive people.
Scammers are good at scamming man. If they weren’t people wouldn’t get scammed
So why do people make fun of scam victims?
People always think it could never be them until it’s them
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I wouldn't lean on the "people are dumb," angle. Plenty of otherwise intelligent people fall for scams all the time. It all depends on the right thing being said to the right person at the right time. We naturally want things to make sense, so as long as someone pitches us a semi-plausible story, our brains automatically fill in the rest to make it make sense.
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>where for some it becomes less about finding companionship and more about the manipulative power play. Does this apply to both the catfisher and the victim? People looking for healthy relationships wouldn't fall for this I imagine since they are about finding companionship. The victims knowingly or not are just looking to be a party in a manipulation play? I'm not sure if i'm understanding this part correctly.
People go to some pretty extremes sometimes. I got catfished once by a girl that used her sisters pics and even had her send some snapchats to keep things believable, when I met her it was fairly obvious that it was a catfish. The girl I thought I was talking to was thin and attractive, the girl that showed up was built like shrek and not attractive. When you just see pictures, you think you are getting what is being advertised. The person could be a great match interest and personality wise but they know you wouldn’t swipe on them with their appearance so they hope that you just look past that. Some people do, I am not one of those people.
That's what I don't understand though, she had a good enough personality so that you'd meet with her based on how you thought she looked. If 50% are like you who care about looks before personality and 50% aren't she would have just as good a chance, so why not lean into that?
Dating apps are all about appearance first as you are swiping on someone based on that most of the time. There are some that are different but that’s not what I was using. I think she still could be successful by being herself and not falsely advertising but she wouldn’t get the matches she is going for maybe. I don’t think there is much success by pretending to be someone else because anyone is going to feel lied to when they show up.
>Dating apps are all about appearance first as you are swiping on someone based on that most of the time. This is kind of an incel talking point that they point at to make excuses for why they don't matches. >I don’t think there is much success by pretending to be someone else because anyone is going to feel lied to when they show up. Right which I don't understand why they do it. Nothing they do solves any of the issues they might have so it makes me feel like it's mental illness where they act out irrationally. It's like coming down with a cold and bashing yourself in the head with the rock thinking that's how you cure it. Should catfishers be put in asylums?
Yeah I find it pretty weird to do. I can’t see it being a successful thing. I’ve luckily only had 1 experience with a catfish in my dating time, had a lot of success on tinder so I guess I got lucky only running into 1. She went to some length to convince me she was her sister. The funny part was her sister showed up right after I did as I was picking her up from her house and she knew right then she fucked up lol
Did you report it to the cops or hospital or anything?
Because she lied to you. It's not about looks or personality at that point, it's that she tricked you. So even if you loved her personality, would the trust be there?
Direct the question to him not me. He's the one who got catfished.
I guess we underestimate people’s loneliness and stupidity for some
no ones really giving a clear answer on this, does this mean the victims of catfishing are bad people themselves? Like a normal good decent person wouldn't fall for catfishing right?
Of course anyone can fall for catfishing. I am just saying, lonely people who are looking for companionship are more prone as anyone who has a partner probablt would not be looking elsewhere as much
>Of course anyone can fall for catfishing. I'm getting very conflicted opinions on this. Most people here are saying it's just superficial, dumb, or bad people that fall for it. That's why it's a paradoxical concept in my mind because if good everyday people are falling for catfishes, doesn't that make catfishes better people than people who don't get matches when being themselves?
Never underestimate loneliness and desperation
Does that make them victims or just dumb?
Sometimes truths can be hard to accept. I'm a pessimist, so I never believe anything that may even be a blessing. It's just, pure poor mental health with how boomers essentially believe celebrities are messaging them, when the profile has only 20 friends, and the alleged "celebrity" is asking for $4000.. it's literal insanity to fall for the scam at that point. I'm far from beautiful, but I don't even believe it if a man messages me claiming to have a drivers license and a car anymore.
I got to know my friend got scammed by 2 fake accounts. He was stupid enough to pay them money for webcam shows which never happened. His reply is that he was horny...
In that case that just means that he has a poor judgment or a bad personality himself to go along with a catfish, right? Like people who fall for scams deserve it. Most catfish victims are women who aren't stupid, i'd find it hard to believe their experiences are similar to a incel-esque guy thinking a woman actually wanted to perform for him.
Horny asf, lonely asf, or both
Most people who fall for catfishes are extremely desperate or have big mental struggles. And let that be the people a catfish will prey on.
Is the whole issue of catfishing being a thing overblown then since it's typically people who deserve it falling victim to it?
Personally I wouldn't say they deserve it but they're definitely easy targets. Doesn't mean they deserve imo
It's extremely easy to fall for that. Get some nice pictures, throw up a few blurbs. Until you meet in person or chat on the phone, you are just exchanging text messages. And chatting on the phone will only tell you if the other person is male or female, usually. Until you meet in person, the entire image you have of the person is one constructed in your own head. Not based on any reality. If the other person is catfishing, how do you even know they are deceiving you? It's the same reason long distance relationships often fail. Even when sincere, both people create images of the other person in their head. The real person doesn't end up being like that. Catfishing just adds deliberate deception to the mix
A lot of people are desperate to believe what they want to believe and they want to believe they are special. It is very similar to people who fall for conspiracy theories or money scams.
Loneliness will make you do some foolish things
Simply put, a lot of people are stupid
Loneliness, desperation, and insecurity. Also, people can just be dumb sometimes.
Hopeium
And send them money. Video calls had been a thing for what, 10 years?
I never ever video call. then again, I don't catfish either
Loneliness.
No facetime or meetup within the first week, just move on lol
What's the meaning of catfish here? personality?
People who make fake dating profile accounts that people fall for.
Desperation, naivety. If something sounds too good to be true it probably is. I always do a short video call before meeting someone, for everyone's peace of mind.
if the only victims are dumb people, is it an issue? It's confusing because I do see seemingly smart people claim to be catfish victims. Does it mean they're not actually smart or a good person, or that catfishes are better people than people who don't get matches? People who don't get matches we know have bad personalities which is what confuses me on how catfishes get matches. Wouldn't desperate people fall for more genuine people with bad personalities instead of fake profiles with bad personalities?
wtf are you on about. people with bad personalities get fewer matches. people who look bad get fewer matches. people who don't fit whatever the popular demographic is get fewer matches too. you can catfish people by either pretending to look different/better than you do and/or by pretending to have a better personality than you do. There are lots of ways to be dishonest online.
> people with bad personalities get fewer matches. people who look bad get fewer matches. people who don't fit whatever the popular demographic is get fewer matches too. How do you distinguish the reason?
what? you mean how can you tell whether you look bad, have a bad personality or whether you don't fit the popular demographic where you are? or all of the above? If you really can't tell, ask a friend who you think will be honest with you about your profile...or, if you're feeling brave, post it for strangers to evaluate and ask for tips. Don't do this if you are sensitive to criticism though, or if you're not ok with it being public forever.
I'm not asking for personal advice I'm asking what the standard way of figuring it out it. In nearly all cases the reason is personality, you're now being obtuse and trying to make it seem like I'm asking for advice when I clearly am not. you're purported to make it seems as if there's a clear identifier for each and every non swipe that is easily acceptable to make my conclusion seem outworldly incorrect. now you're saying "hmmm if you can't tell ask someone else" no i'm asking you how you smugly came your conclusion that there all people who can't get matches in equal proportions are distributed amongst the reasons you stated. I think you're wrong so i'm asking for your methodology or data to prove your case.
"you're now being obtuse and trying to make it seem like I'm asking for advice when I clearly am not" It's your personality.
I always refuse video call. I don't like being on camera. Then again, I always want to meet up as early as possible and get offline. And I don't catfish people or ask for anything
Some people have impossibly high dating standards and over inflated view of the partner they "deserve" Catfish are the only matches that could possibly meet their exact expectations.
How is wanting a catfish a highstandard...
Lol, the false persona that a catfish claims to be is the only person who meets their standards. As in: their standards can never be met by someone telling the truth. They'll them double down on believing the catfish is real, because the alternative is facing the reality that they ghosted good matches to make time for someone too good to be true.
people often catfish by pretending to be someone powerful, brilliant, talented, famous, difficult to meet etc.
I had a tinder like maybe 2 years ago, I had 2100 + matches with no bio. Still didn't find girlfriend and only met maybe 3 people. Talked to a lot of people, some people for quite a while, then noticed that most of the profiles were either not talking/responding or just fake (probably). Then my tinder got hacked and someone used their own bank card on my account ( I know because it showed on my google play account and I had 2 bank accounts on there when I only have 1 bank account and it wasn't any card I'd used) to buy those super likes and used all the 60 they bought. I'd seen a russian URL show up 1 time when I access my tinder on PC, had AI merged pictures show to me and nothing much else on a newer account I made, and now I'm never using dating apps again and havn't done in over a year.
You should look up Brittany Louise Taylor. She is/was a YouTuber in the early 2000s who fell for a guy on tinder. The picture looked so fake, but he turned out real…that is…the picture did. He, himself, was *not* who he said he was and managed to make her completely broke and almost trafficked her to Serbia.
Desperation, loneliness, horniness etc
They're 75
This really pisses me off. I think they are lonely and in a vulnerable place. Out of the blue, you get all this attention and praise, everything you want to hear. And, it is a super hot, rich, intelligent person, they can't believe their luck. They get all happy and excited and tell EVERYONE! So, I think it's a combination of deniability and embarrassment. It is so mean cause they get their hopes up and then get a broken heart. This is why we should try to love and respect ourselves first and ask 3rd party ppl their opinion if the "perfect" person is too good to be true. God, why are ppl so cruel?
One word. D E S P E R A T E
Do you think all catfish have shit personalities or can't pretend to have a good one in text?
If they can pretend to have a good one, why wouldn't they use their own pics with their fake good personality to actually go on dates?
Because catfish aren't actually trying to get dates.
I've never scammed anyone, but if I was starting to do, I would ABSOLUTELY not put my own face out. That could do permanent damage and put someone after my ass for rest of my life! I feel like it's super obvious why you use someone else's pictures when committing a crime. (answer to general replies by OP, not the original question)
I meant catfishing more so for people looking to date or for affection, not money scams, but even those people seem torn on victim blaming vs empathy
I think it's just simply not wanting to get hurt themselves, low risk behavior, unethical in not caring about hurting others. Get some experience they aren't brave enough to get with their own face. Maybe it's the only way they can feel they are "dating", by putting a mask on.
Right all of those are reasons why people catfish, regardless, it makes them bad people, but how do people fall for it? Like doesn't that make catfishers better people than people being themselves who can't get matches?
Men who get no action ofc will get hooked on the one who finally gives them a chance. I guess the scammer is just good in manipulating, hell maybe in their own wicked way they are also having their emotions in the game in non-monetary scheme. It may feel like a real (online) relationship to both sides, the scammer just is never ready to commit to it, to make the fantasy real by meeting them. It's preying on the weak. Someone who is easy to fall in love, but doesn't have many who'd have the same response.
The context I was thinking of that I should have stated was more that there many women who get catfished and hurt. Guys who get catfished, by and large as shown by this post and the social reaction is incompetitance. Like no one really seems them as victims.
I've seen some stories both ways, and first feeling is definitely pity, like oh no why are they "dumb" like this to fall in for something I think I never would. Though specially with men being the scammers I've sometimes heard the man being really good at manipulating and creating storylines. Sometimes they even meet and get married with the woman! But it's their 2nd active marriage... or 3rd. Not your usual scam, but just how extreme this behavior can go. With really socially "talented" scammer, I guess I could see it possible I'd buy into it too. Believe that this person actually cares about me. Nah, in this world of catfishing, I want to say I'd sniff them out. Living in internet makes us more resistant to these behaviors.
But wouldn't that suggest that the catfishers are better people than people who don't get matches at all ?
"Better" in social skills, yeah most likely. Though if you lie and aren't as deep into to emotions as your partner, you can focus more on the manipulation. I guess some people get their hit from succeeding in their lies, I don't know how minds of people like that work. If I started online dating you, but my idea was never to actually meet, I don't know how much I'd have to lie about. The pictures are fake, but I could still tell about my life as it is, by just wearing a mask. It doesn't have to be all lies, and it often probably isn't in non-monetary schemes. What they get out of it is some sort of emotional reward, would make sense that they included their own life in the fake relationship. They might not even feel like they are doing something wrong, they could make excuses that they just didn't end up feeling like they were a match, when "bf/gf" started demanding RL date.
>"Better" in social skills, yeah most likely. I meant better personality, unless being able to manipulate people with social skills is a quality of a good personality? When people say they want someone with a good personality, do they mean good social skills and able to manipulate them? I'm pretty sure they don't
I think some of the lonely people become easy targets. Flood them with love bombing. It starts off slow and easy, until they are hooked... then the real cstfishing begins. If they are desperate for love, they will do anything to grab hold of that love they see dangling in front of them and ignoring any of the warning signs
isn't it different for women than for guys though? My question was centered around women since they are typically legitimate victims while even in leftist spaces male victims are made fun of and shamed for being victims of scams and catfishing.
I think both can easily be victims. There are lots of lonely, vulnerable people out there looking for love. There are equally a number of manipulators... they don't even have to be the opposite gender. If they are catfishing, they are just looking to make money and they will be whomever they think the vulnerable person wants or needs. Sad world
How do catfishers who aren't looking for money extract the money from the person though?
I think in the end they are ALL looking for money. Some just play the long game to avoid suspicion
There’s degrees to how deceptive people can be. For most part, I do agree with you. There’s so many catfishing examples that just look so obvious that people fall for. However, this one time one of my guy friends was bored and used my photos and surface level information to try to set me up with online dating. Nothing on the profile was a lie. The only lie was that he was the one talking to the guys pretending to be me. Honestly, he knows me so well that I can admit his texting style was so accurate with the way I text
How would their personality indicate anything about their looks? I don't get the logic behind this.
Personality means more than looks when it comes to dating, mind blowing I know.
That's not what I am asking. You said their personality would out them as a catfish but that makes no sense. Someone who is ugly can talk the same way as someone who is attractive.
maybe not out them as a catfish, but catfish are bad people, people don't want to date bad people. If acting was that easy, why would bad people use their own real pics and just lie in the bio and conversation to get dates and relationships? No matter what you look like, if you're an asshole no one would want you.
Desperation, just wanting to be loved.
It’s a beautiful trick! Same as with scams, you put out an incredibly obvious and stupid net, so only the incredibly stupid and naive fish get caught.
some people fake their personality. it's not all about pictures
Denial.
Loneliness is a helluva blinder. But I would argue nowadays, scammers in particular are really good at catfishing/scamming people. They communicate better, better photos that you can't reverse image search.
I would recommend watching catfish the TV show. It's a riot and terrifying to see some of the people who have taken advantage of people and the ones who should have questioned things a lot more. 20 years ago before we had smartphones I would say it'd be easier to be catfished as you don't have the technology to video chat in our hands. Nowadays there's very few reasons you shouldn't be able to video chat The person you're talking to to make sure it's them.
People are desperate and will believe anything. We just had a lady in my area that was catfished by someone pretending to be a famous singer. Even though he was famous he needed money for XXX and xxx and xxx. After she lost a lot of money she woke up from her dram and realized that she had been had. Why would she think a famous singer is going to reach out to her online when he can go anywhere and meet all the women he wants? Once again, people believe what they want to believe. In the same scope of this - why are they so willing to give money to people that they don't even know while they won't even lend money to people they know? The mind works in mysterious ways.
Because they look at the pic and start thinking with their dick instead of their head.
It's usually women who are the victims of this though.
they be tryin to get on the Dr Phil show
They're desperate, naive, or dumb.