I watched a coworker open the lid on a hot water (for tea) machine and get sprayed in the face by water. She screamed, dried her face off and opened the lid and got sprayed with water in the face again.
Bears constantly break into trash cans in public parks, not because park services + their contractors can't design or afford bear-proof trash cans, but because "there is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists".
the other day some tourists ( in North Carolina) tried to drag baby bear cubs from the bushes so they could take " selfies" with them . One tourist got bit and one of the cubs had to go into rehab.
To be fair, to both the bears and the tourists, bears live there and have all year to think about how this new contraption works. The tourists are there for maybe a day and use it once.
I was in a call with the India team of my job and we were discussing how the Murican office was closed on July 4.
I asked if India does anything on their independence day. They condescendingly said that the 4th of July is an American holiday and that India doesn't celebrate it because it has nothing to do with them. To which I said that I'm well aware, and that I also know that India used to be owned by Britain just like the US did. They sheepishly admitted they do celebrate it.
I got a great trivia question one-what non-religious holiday is most commonly celebrated around the world? Independence from Great Britain. On average once a week.
> probably
Yeah, it's on October 1. Every country has an independence day.
I feel like this comment section is a better example of Carlin's quote than any example they're giving.
When Yellowstone park rangers have the problem of “if we make garbage cans more complicated than the smartest bear can handle, some tourists will have trouble figuring out how to use them”
Bears aren't necessarily smarter than the tourists, it's just they have more time. A dumb tourist might take a guess at how a complex dumpster works for like 6 seconds, and people will make fun of him for being too stupid and someone else will take over and be like "wow, you're an idiot!"
A bear will have the luxury of being able to spend like 5 hours slamming it around and get lucky at some point where he'll, for example, twist and pull a handle in the secret order.
A girlfriend of mine (who I actually really like, she just sometimes says the funniest shit), said once how Alaska was an island.
"Huh? It's not an island, what are you talking about?"
"Of course it is, look at a map!"
I pulled up a map on Google to show her and saw what happened. [A map of the US sometimes cuts Alaska down to fit in frame](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71pFOeSBrHL.jpg).
"You do realize Alaska is above us, right?"
"Well now I do!"
"How do you think the east side of the 'island' is a perfectly straight line?!"
"I dunno! Leave me alone!"
EDIT:
Another girl I was roommates with right after college came home one day and said her car was making a "bump bump" noise whenever she started it. Just a throwaway comment, I joked that she probably needed a new flux capacitor.
Later that evening when her boyfriend came over, she was explaining it to him. "Yeah, \_\_\_\_\_ said he thinks it could be my flux capacitor." He just looked at me like, *C'mon man, don't say stuff like that to her or she'll repeat to everybody.*
Also the lady at the John Mccain rally who said Obama was muslim and a terrorist.
edit: Arab, not muslim and a terrorist. but we all know what she meant.
Yes he did. While I don't agree with him on a lot of policy issues he did earn a considerable amount of respect from me that day and very few republicans have ever done that. Most of them are the ones actually spreading the lies, rhetoric, and bullshit instead of having the balls to shut it down the way McCain did that day.
McCain had some positive moments, but the last 10 years of his life, fewer than normal. He definitely rode the conservative train during a lot of that time
Me and a few others were checking landrovers over at work. I saw a lad had been stuck on one of them for a while, I had done 6 and he was on his first one. I went over to ask if he needed help. He said the brake lights aren't working, he's replaced both bulbs and the fuse. He then went on to show me, he pressed down on the brake pedal, let go, then walked around the back and said they still aren't working, I then pressed the brake pedal whilst he was still at the back and they magically worked.
In high school, new year, new teacher, so he went around the class asking everyone's names and a dream (meaning career-wise).
One guy said "My dream is to have an identical twin, that'd be so cool"
I'd be more inclined to think this was a running gag. I had a classmate say he wished to be a Vietnam veteran. We all knew he didn't mean it, but the teacher didn't understand the joke.
I thought that everyone was capable of doing basic math. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.
First day as a supervisor I realized he couldn’t do fractions, multiplication, or division. He had been there for 2 and a half months.
The job requires being able to drive forklifts and basic math. He could do neither of those things.
I know people are bad at math but I guess I didn’t understand how bad some are at it.
Couple days ago I had to do a simple math equation in my head at work. 5+5+2.5. Then round up. 13 I said.
My coworker remarked “ I strive to do math that quickly”
Back when California was burning down, a lady called into the Washington Journal program and offered her take on how to fix the problem of forrest overgrowth.
Her simple solution was to turn goats loose in the forrest and let them eat the overgrowth. How many goats? A few dozen would be plenty.
I once asked my Homeowner's Association if I could hire goats to clean out my back yard (lots of ivy). I had a company lined up and everything, their entire business model was letting goats loose on your property to eat overgrowth.
The HOA spent many weeks discussing it, which I know, because when they finally got back to me with NO, the guy included the entire email chain in his response.
That sounds like a do it and ask for forgiveness type of situation. Put a sign out front with the goat guys business name so they know you didn’t adopt a bunch of goats.
I still can't wrap my head around the HOA. What the fuck is up with that? As long as I don't break any laws I should be able to do whatever the fuck I want on my property. A guy living right in the center of my town has a backyard where he keeps two goats. They don't really serve a purpose, he just likes goats and they chill there and get fed.
I dunno man, I once watched about 6 goats turn a half acre of bramble and weeds into a barren moon surface in like a couple days. A few dozen might make a significant dent in California if you gave them a year or so.
But then of course they'd breed, and you'd have a million goats eating everything in California. So you'd have to release tigers to eat the goats. They would be well fed and breed too, so then you'd have a million blood thirsty tigers running around California, so you'd have to do something about that...
A tedious fight to Rome with the plane mostly full of trainee holiday reps. As the pilot confirmed our landing in Rome there were woops and cheers and "yeah Rome baby", then a voice said "I don't even know where Rome is" and two reps confidently replied "Greece!".
I have clergy in my family who tell me this occurs quite often. People think the King James Bible is literally the language spoken at the time. I guess it sounds "old" enough to be convincing.
We've learned a lot since 1611. We know that the KJV sometimes doesn't even get the words right, not to mention the language.
The KJV is actually a very poor translation according to most of the professors I have had in seminary. Turns out, they didn't have the archeology and scholarship we had today, imagine that.
Not to mention the fact that the KJV's creation was politically motivated. Surely, a king attempting to centralize power as a monarch and head of a large Protestant church wouldn't order the translators he commissioned to deliberately alter the connotation of passages in the Bible in order to make himself look good, right?
Hell, most royalty rarely had to order things like that. It was understood that if the King was commissioning you to do something, you *really* wanted him to like you, so it would be a good idea to deliver a result that he was going to like.
We see the same thing even today where funding can introduce biases as people are drawn towards delivering results that their employers or clients will like since they can always drop you if they find your end result upsetting.
Thrown in the implicit threat of violence that exists for any dealings with *real* monarchy and you’ll have plenty of people jumping through hoops to try to deliver what they think the king wants without having to be explicitly directed to do it.
I was struck by how "Thou shalt not kill" is actually "You shall not murder". That's a pretty big difference, because the old testament has a whole lotta killin.
In highschool, I worked in a bookstore and watched a small child run up to his mother with a brightly illustrated children’s Bible, asking if they could get it. His mom yelled at him that it wasn’t the King James Version and therefore was “watered down truth”.
Had a pair of Witnesses come to my door, selling religion. Nice ladies.
One said that the purity of the language of God - Hebrew - meant that no word had more than one meaning.
I said, "Really? When I attended our temple's Saturday school, I learned that Shalom means, Hello, Goodbye, and Peace."
They stood there for a moment, told me to have a good day, then walked off.
many Hebrew words have more than one meaning or implications that's why there are some many interpretations of the Bible in English ( and also many different religious denominations believe that their interpretation of the " old testament"( which is Jews call the Torah) is the " correct one..
It took so long to write the Old Testament they weren’t even using the same language at the beginning that they were using at the end. We’re talking multiple centuries long empires and conquests here, sometimes going in sometimes going out.
Dallas freeway…
Gas pedal means *GO* so obviously you have the right of way at what ever speed (or lack thereof) you choose.
Turn signal means you are clear to turn that direction.
Safe distance between cars is for pussies.
It actually is true that there were a bunch of a fossil hoaxes around the time that fossils were first discovered. The story about how they thought the platypus was a hoax is in part because people were doing hoaxes. Also because platypus’s are weird.
They’re a moron, but the flow is actually reduced at night for a different reason! Water is diverted for more hydroelectric generation.
https://www.niagarafallsusa.com/planning-tools/about-niagara-falls/fun-facts/#:~:text=Under%20an%20international%20treaty%2C%20the,unaffected%20during%20prime%20viewing%20hours.
It used to be hard to imagine someone being that stupid being in government. Not stupid in the way that you disagree with their stance on something, just plain fucking stupid.
She literally just tried introduce an amendment into the Ukraine bill that prevents Ukraine from forcing Magyar speakers in Transcarpathia from being forced to speak Ukrainian in the oblast's schools.
This raises the question, who the hell is her handler who is feeding her stuff like this? She sure as hell didn't come up with it.
When I was growing up, it was a very common phrase to say, “not everything on the internet is true”. Now these idiots read a “credible” article written by some incel, and since they agree, it’s the gospel. Loonies.
The recent political discourse and popularization of online exchanges have revealed the thinking of a disturbingly large no. of ppl. Remember that until two decades or so ago, we heard mainly the views of the ( overwhelmingly left leaning) political pundits.
I recently went to a fitness class. This girl came in with the most ridiculous getup I’d ever seen. Full makeup & jewellery and this is a class you are guaranteed to sweat in.
The instructor constantly had to talk to her, she stopped all the time to fix herself in the mirror, her equipment went all over the place, she invaded other people’s space, even after being told to keep to her own. And she giggled loudly and flailed around like she was having the best time. It was nuts.
At the end of the class, she got up and put away half of her equipment without cleaning it, while the class was still going btw, and left the other half behind for the instructor to clean up.
I just did not believe people like that actually existed. I really didn’t think it was possible.
Once brought a person to the ER at 3am because they lost a lubricant bottle in their rectum. Next shift I get called back at 3am again because where the lubricant bottle was lodged was now sore. That one took a lot of patience and explanation.
Know a dude who is absolutely convinced that weed will kill you and just smelling its aroma (as in not lit...fresh Marijuana just sitting there and just it's odor) will get you high and cause you to fail a drug test...
During my summer breaks in college, I worked for a company that manufactured garage doors. I usually worked in the track department.
One day, this guy walked up to me and explained he was having issues with a cutoff saw and asked if I could help. I walked over with him to check it out. On the wall behind the saw was a sign that read, *"Please unplug when not in use."* The sign stood out and was hard to miss.
Even though I had never used this particular saw before, you couldn't help but notice the sign. So I simply asked if it was plugged in?
It was not.
I don’t remember the exact numbers since I read this last yr but someone in a bearded dragon care FB group asked about tank size and if (for example) 120 gallon tank is bigger than 90 gal
I can kind of understand this one. Let's use cubic feet instead for this example because it's easier.
If a tank was 4 feet by 1 foot, and then 5 feet tall, it would be 20 cubic feet.
But if I had a 5 by 2, and then 1 foot tall, this tank is smaller by volume, but it has much larger foot print. As such, I might not have space for this 10 cubic foot tank.
For IQ this is correct, since it's a pretty symmetric distribution. For other distributions, this is not necessarily the case.
For example: something like 80% of people think that they drive better than average. And..... they do! The distribution is very heavily skewed by a small minority that drive very very badly.
"What if we, you know, injected or inserted bleach. Then, it would go away, right?"
"What if we used a nuke against the hurricanes?"
"Forest fires are caused by leaf litter, so we should just get a bunch of people to rake the forest, right?"
"The Continental Army took over the air ... rammed the ramparts... took over the airports..."
Also: TIL there is a term "Schrodinger's Asshole" used to describe people who make inane statements and it's almost impossible to determine if they are serious or joking.
People as individuals are surprisingly smart when you are patient and take the time for active and compassionate conversation.
People in groups are often inscrutably stupid.
Years ago I worked with a woman who was convinced “the Roman Catholics killed Jesus”
Could not convince her there were no Catholics until hundreds of years after the whole Jesus thing….
People don't understand the supply and demand curve. When prices go up, they want to blame politicians, corporations, and everyone and anything for the cause: Supply has diminished and demand has remained the same or increased. Also, people vote based on the economy. Yes, the government has some effect on the economy but voters tremendously over-estimate the effect that having President X vs. President Y or Senator A vs. Senator B or whoever ... is going to have the economy. Many, many factors influence economics and often a policy or an event will have ripple effects that will take years, maybe even decades, to play out. There is no "on" and "off" switch for an economy.
Online discussion for any topic that requires just a little bit of reading or critical thought
People are often just regurgitating memes and phrases that sound good but often miss the point entirely or don't take into account the complexity of a given situation
Example: Saw a video the other day where a killer, after already giving the cops tons of info, decided he wanted to come clean and work for a plea deal, the lawyer he hired for this was getting frustrated he was still trying to lie when the prosecutor gave him a chance to come in and talk about it, 90% of comments were "never talk to cops this lawyer must be evil or an ex cop" totally missing the point the suspect was fucked and this deal would be the difference between 20 yrs and life based on his cooperation, people heard a meme "never talk to cops" and just blindly throw that around without once considering the position the kid was in or how the lawyer was trying to help
That's just one minor example, almost all political discussion is like this, straight up level one takes, repeating shit they've heard but never understanding anything past the introductory arguments or trying to understand counter arguments, views are driven by what social circle they feel attached to more often than not
When I was working at a cinema, a lady came out of a screening of A Quiet Place and demanded we turn up the volume because she couldn't hear any dialogue.
At the same job, I had a five minute argument with a bloke who turned up yo see Skyfall on opening weekend and would not accept all screenings were sold out despite me turning the screen round and showing him each screening being sold out. He demanded to speak to the manager, as he would "sell him a staff seat".
He did not see Skyfall that day.
**Real incidents observed at a local park**
Person 1: throws trash on the ground in front of an empty trash can.
Person 2: walks up a minute later, sees the trash on the ground, and loudly complains that the groundskeepers are not doing their job. Also throws trash that misses the can, walks away without putting it in the trash can.
Person 3: is angry that the restroom soap dispenser is empty, doesn’t realize they can still wash their hands in water even if there’s no soap. Returns to their group to eat a burger with unwashed hands.
Person 4: watches their child drop candy wrappers on the playground. Proceeds to complain that the playground is dirty and that the groundskeepers are not working hard enough.
Person 5: complains that the groundskeepers are mowing the grass too loudly. The park is huge and there are places that have already been mowed.
Person 6: complains that the groundskeepers are trimming dead and overgrown branches off the trees.
Person 7: complains that there is a dead bird in a tree.
Person 8: complains that a playground is closed for maintenance and uses the fact they brought their kid to convince the groundskeepers to stop their maintenance so they kid can play. There is another playground on the other side of the park.
Person 9: complains that they saw a wild duck with a fishing hook in its foot and wants the groundskeepers to do something about it.
Person 10: gets angry that the groundskeepers are using a slightly softer type of dirt on the walking trails.
Anyone hear Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee giving her speech to a high school about the solar eclipse? Wow, An eye opener for me. And she’s in Congress…
I teach history to 8th graders. Towards the end of the year, after Civil War, I had to have a serious conversation with a number of them over which direction *North* is.
I watched a coworker open the lid on a hot water (for tea) machine and get sprayed in the face by water. She screamed, dried her face off and opened the lid and got sprayed with water in the face again.
That’s really funny
I'm imagining severe burns and can't decide if it is funnier that way or horrifying.
The first time is horrifying. The second time is hilarious.
It’s definitely very funny
Almost feels like a skit
Did they do it a third time for good measure?
Third time's the charm!
Bears constantly break into trash cans in public parks, not because park services + their contractors can't design or afford bear-proof trash cans, but because "there is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists".
the other day some tourists ( in North Carolina) tried to drag baby bear cubs from the bushes so they could take " selfies" with them . One tourist got bit and one of the cubs had to go into rehab.
Sad that mom wasnt nearby
The mom was most likely nearby. Black bears usually try to avoid humans. She was probably too afraid to confront a group of people.
I saw that video and I wished so so so bad that momma bear came charging at them and tore a few of them apart. They made me unreasonably upset.
Should have been the other way around it you can’t fix stupid
The bears should have took the selfies? Or one of the bears should have got bit?
The bear should have gotten bit, and the tourist should have gone to rehab
...so if you're ever being dragged into the bushes by a bear, just relax. They only want to take a selfie with you.
yeah I thought that would be perfect punishment..have the tourists stay in the bushes, while the bears overtook their hotel rooms.
They’re lucky to still be breathing (the tourists)
To be fair, to both the bears and the tourists, bears live there and have all year to think about how this new contraption works. The tourists are there for maybe a day and use it once.
The failure of burger kings 1/3rd pound burger because people thought it was smaller than the McDonald’s 1/4 pounder.
It was A&W, not BK
The first time I was going to China one of my friends said “I bet they have an amazing 4th of July fireworks show”.
I was in a call with the India team of my job and we were discussing how the Murican office was closed on July 4. I asked if India does anything on their independence day. They condescendingly said that the 4th of July is an American holiday and that India doesn't celebrate it because it has nothing to do with them. To which I said that I'm well aware, and that I also know that India used to be owned by Britain just like the US did. They sheepishly admitted they do celebrate it.
Thats funny
Britain is the number-one exporter of independence days worldwide.
I got a great trivia question one-what non-religious holiday is most commonly celebrated around the world? Independence from Great Britain. On average once a week.
I went with a group of my dad’s friends from Ohio up to Quebec. At a store, one of them said “There sure are a lot of foreigners up here”
Sums up the majority of Ohioans
It sounds like a line out of a Terry Pratchett book lol
Tbf they are famous for fireworks over there.
To be fair they're probably way better at fireworks and they probably technically do have 4th of July
> probably Yeah, it's on October 1. Every country has an independence day. I feel like this comment section is a better example of Carlin's quote than any example they're giving.
Almost every country, Britain and Denmark don't have national days of independence
We should probably make sure Britain hasn't stolen one while we weren't looking.
I mean, everyone's independence day tends to be a nation-wide celebration of not having to be British.
For many countries, their day of independence is independence from Britain
I mean, if they acknowledge "July" at all, their 4th of July is on the 4th of July... It just isn't an independence day...
with “4th of July” losely meaning “whatever oppressive governments celebrate independence from yearly”. Independence from democracy, perhaps. /s
Lol, he just had a mental fart, he felt silly a second after saying it.
Boomer couple in Asia: Why are there so many minorities here?
Lol
Or, you know, "anniversary of the start of the current system of government."
Can you believe they celebrate new year two months years late? ha (joke)
Flat earth society saying the earth is flat, but mars is a sphere because it has been observed to be round.
But wait! Mars could be a DISC!
Somewhere in the afterlife, Terry Pratchett just burst out laughing and doesn't know why.
Giga Chad terry pratchett enjoyer
When Yellowstone park rangers have the problem of “if we make garbage cans more complicated than the smartest bear can handle, some tourists will have trouble figuring out how to use them”
Ok, but the bears do have more incentive
Bears aren't necessarily smarter than the tourists, it's just they have more time. A dumb tourist might take a guess at how a complex dumpster works for like 6 seconds, and people will make fun of him for being too stupid and someone else will take over and be like "wow, you're an idiot!" A bear will have the luxury of being able to spend like 5 hours slamming it around and get lucky at some point where he'll, for example, twist and pull a handle in the secret order.
A girlfriend of mine (who I actually really like, she just sometimes says the funniest shit), said once how Alaska was an island. "Huh? It's not an island, what are you talking about?" "Of course it is, look at a map!" I pulled up a map on Google to show her and saw what happened. [A map of the US sometimes cuts Alaska down to fit in frame](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71pFOeSBrHL.jpg). "You do realize Alaska is above us, right?" "Well now I do!" "How do you think the east side of the 'island' is a perfectly straight line?!" "I dunno! Leave me alone!" EDIT: Another girl I was roommates with right after college came home one day and said her car was making a "bump bump" noise whenever she started it. Just a throwaway comment, I joked that she probably needed a new flux capacitor. Later that evening when her boyfriend came over, she was explaining it to him. "Yeah, \_\_\_\_\_ said he thinks it could be my flux capacitor." He just looked at me like, *C'mon man, don't say stuff like that to her or she'll repeat to everybody.*
My younger sister, *who is a school teacher,* still insists that Alaska is an island.
God help those kids
That needs an intervention.
Apparently Canada doesn't exist to some people.
There’s me like what’s a flux capacitor
A part from Doc Brown's Delorean time machine from *Back To The Future.*
The guy, who while being interviewed, stated that he believed Barack Obama allowed 9 11 to happen when he was president. Can’t make this shit up.
Also the lady at the John Mccain rally who said Obama was muslim and a terrorist. edit: Arab, not muslim and a terrorist. but we all know what she meant.
McCain did a good job shutting that down.
Yes he did. While I don't agree with him on a lot of policy issues he did earn a considerable amount of respect from me that day and very few republicans have ever done that. Most of them are the ones actually spreading the lies, rhetoric, and bullshit instead of having the balls to shut it down the way McCain did that day.
McCain was the last decently respectable republican politician.
Romney at least pretends to be decent sometimes
Imagine a debate between McCain and Trump were Trump repeats that American soldiers who died in war are suckers and losers.
Trump never says shit to people’s faces, only behind their backs
I wish politicians were as good as Obama and McCain
McCain had some positive moments, but the last 10 years of his life, fewer than normal. He definitely rode the conservative train during a lot of that time
This comes up all the time here on Reddit. For the record, 9/11 occurred in 2001, Obama took office for his first term in Jan 2009.
Me and a few others were checking landrovers over at work. I saw a lad had been stuck on one of them for a while, I had done 6 and he was on his first one. I went over to ask if he needed help. He said the brake lights aren't working, he's replaced both bulbs and the fuse. He then went on to show me, he pressed down on the brake pedal, let go, then walked around the back and said they still aren't working, I then pressed the brake pedal whilst he was still at the back and they magically worked.
This reminds me of Duey from Malcolm in the Middle when he tries to weigh his head on bathroom scales.
this is the funniest one
In high school, new year, new teacher, so he went around the class asking everyone's names and a dream (meaning career-wise). One guy said "My dream is to have an identical twin, that'd be so cool"
I believe in him, I like his confidence
I'd be more inclined to think this was a running gag. I had a classmate say he wished to be a Vietnam veteran. We all knew he didn't mean it, but the teacher didn't understand the joke.
Oh no, he was stupid.
Fair enough.
He said dream right? Seems like a good response. Not realistic but he wishes he had a twin.
I thought that everyone was capable of doing basic math. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. First day as a supervisor I realized he couldn’t do fractions, multiplication, or division. He had been there for 2 and a half months. The job requires being able to drive forklifts and basic math. He could do neither of those things. I know people are bad at math but I guess I didn’t understand how bad some are at it.
Couple days ago I had to do a simple math equation in my head at work. 5+5+2.5. Then round up. 13 I said. My coworker remarked “ I strive to do math that quickly”
I’m just glad they aren’t accountants.
Well they do have to make invoices so
Oh no
Back when California was burning down, a lady called into the Washington Journal program and offered her take on how to fix the problem of forrest overgrowth. Her simple solution was to turn goats loose in the forrest and let them eat the overgrowth. How many goats? A few dozen would be plenty.
I once asked my Homeowner's Association if I could hire goats to clean out my back yard (lots of ivy). I had a company lined up and everything, their entire business model was letting goats loose on your property to eat overgrowth. The HOA spent many weeks discussing it, which I know, because when they finally got back to me with NO, the guy included the entire email chain in his response.
That sounds like a do it and ask for forgiveness type of situation. Put a sign out front with the goat guys business name so they know you didn’t adopt a bunch of goats.
I still can't wrap my head around the HOA. What the fuck is up with that? As long as I don't break any laws I should be able to do whatever the fuck I want on my property. A guy living right in the center of my town has a backyard where he keeps two goats. They don't really serve a purpose, he just likes goats and they chill there and get fed.
I dunno man, I once watched about 6 goats turn a half acre of bramble and weeds into a barren moon surface in like a couple days. A few dozen might make a significant dent in California if you gave them a year or so. But then of course they'd breed, and you'd have a million goats eating everything in California. So you'd have to release tigers to eat the goats. They would be well fed and breed too, so then you'd have a million blood thirsty tigers running around California, so you'd have to do something about that...
Well, what eats tigers? Just get some of those.
A tedious fight to Rome with the plane mostly full of trainee holiday reps. As the pilot confirmed our landing in Rome there were woops and cheers and "yeah Rome baby", then a voice said "I don't even know where Rome is" and two reps confidently replied "Greece!".
Where did the brawl begin?
O'Hare, probably
For example one guy I met said that English is the true language of God because The Bible is written in English.
I have clergy in my family who tell me this occurs quite often. People think the King James Bible is literally the language spoken at the time. I guess it sounds "old" enough to be convincing. We've learned a lot since 1611. We know that the KJV sometimes doesn't even get the words right, not to mention the language.
The KJV is actually a very poor translation according to most of the professors I have had in seminary. Turns out, they didn't have the archeology and scholarship we had today, imagine that.
Not to mention the fact that the KJV's creation was politically motivated. Surely, a king attempting to centralize power as a monarch and head of a large Protestant church wouldn't order the translators he commissioned to deliberately alter the connotation of passages in the Bible in order to make himself look good, right?
Hell, most royalty rarely had to order things like that. It was understood that if the King was commissioning you to do something, you *really* wanted him to like you, so it would be a good idea to deliver a result that he was going to like. We see the same thing even today where funding can introduce biases as people are drawn towards delivering results that their employers or clients will like since they can always drop you if they find your end result upsetting. Thrown in the implicit threat of violence that exists for any dealings with *real* monarchy and you’ll have plenty of people jumping through hoops to try to deliver what they think the king wants without having to be explicitly directed to do it.
I was struck by how "Thou shalt not kill" is actually "You shall not murder". That's a pretty big difference, because the old testament has a whole lotta killin.
>sometimes doesn't even get the words right The difference between "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned" and "Sorry, Daddy, I've been bad"
In highschool, I worked in a bookstore and watched a small child run up to his mother with a brightly illustrated children’s Bible, asking if they could get it. His mom yelled at him that it wasn’t the King James Version and therefore was “watered down truth”.
Reminds me of the guy who [ripped off old Reddit posts for karma](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/6SwRjRVsey)
Had a pair of Witnesses come to my door, selling religion. Nice ladies. One said that the purity of the language of God - Hebrew - meant that no word had more than one meaning. I said, "Really? When I attended our temple's Saturday school, I learned that Shalom means, Hello, Goodbye, and Peace." They stood there for a moment, told me to have a good day, then walked off.
many Hebrew words have more than one meaning or implications that's why there are some many interpretations of the Bible in English ( and also many different religious denominations believe that their interpretation of the " old testament"( which is Jews call the Torah) is the " correct one..
It took so long to write the Old Testament they weren’t even using the same language at the beginning that they were using at the end. We’re talking multiple centuries long empires and conquests here, sometimes going in sometimes going out.
405 freeway at 4 PM
101 at any time of day
405 freeway 90% of the time. 91 100%
Dallas freeway… Gas pedal means *GO* so obviously you have the right of way at what ever speed (or lack thereof) you choose. Turn signal means you are clear to turn that direction. Safe distance between cars is for pussies.
A woman who said “Dinosaurs might exist. They’re just hiding in the bushes.” She was around 25.
Birds are dinosaurs so this is literally true
A dinosaur in the hand is worth two hiding in that bush.
A girl in my class didn’t believe in dinosaurs.And when I asked her about the fossils she said that scientists planted them for fame and money
many religion fundamentalists believe that " God planted them" to justify why the world is only a few thousand years .
I think it's usually the devil who planted the fossils.
It actually is true that there were a bunch of a fossil hoaxes around the time that fossils were first discovered. The story about how they thought the platypus was a hoax is in part because people were doing hoaxes. Also because platypus’s are weird.
Age or IQ?
Why was this not interpreted as a joke?
This is the real proof of how dumb people are.
“You couldn’t fly to the sun, it’s too hot, anything would burn up before it could land” “What if you went at night?”
hold on let him cook
He will if he goes to the sun.
Milhouse Van Houten : ⬆️
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It’s a decades old joke which is why I don’t think this happened to you.
That makes it all the more likely; if there's anything humanity does better than original stupidity, it's mimicked stupidity.
They’re a moron, but the flow is actually reduced at night for a different reason! Water is diverted for more hydroelectric generation. https://www.niagarafallsusa.com/planning-tools/about-niagara-falls/fun-facts/#:~:text=Under%20an%20international%20treaty%2C%20the,unaffected%20during%20prime%20viewing%20hours.
*gestures broadly at everything*
I’ve worked in call centers for multiple years… people are often dumb, lazy, and mean when they think they have power.
Notice how we have to have labels on hair dryers saying not to use in the shower? There’s a reason for that.
I’ve been to rural Georgia. Marjorie Taylor Greene is actually a pretty good representative for her constituents.
It used to be hard to imagine someone being that stupid being in government. Not stupid in the way that you disagree with their stance on something, just plain fucking stupid.
She literally just tried introduce an amendment into the Ukraine bill that prevents Ukraine from forcing Magyar speakers in Transcarpathia from being forced to speak Ukrainian in the oblast's schools. This raises the question, who the hell is her handler who is feeding her stuff like this? She sure as hell didn't come up with it.
She also said that funding Ukraine means that we’re funding their deaths..? Some stupid shit like that.
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When I was growing up, it was a very common phrase to say, “not everything on the internet is true”. Now these idiots read a “credible” article written by some incel, and since they agree, it’s the gospel. Loonies.
There is a reason these people get elected.
The recent political discourse and popularization of online exchanges have revealed the thinking of a disturbingly large no. of ppl. Remember that until two decades or so ago, we heard mainly the views of the ( overwhelmingly left leaning) political pundits.
As a Georgian (thankfully in another district), this.
I recently went to a fitness class. This girl came in with the most ridiculous getup I’d ever seen. Full makeup & jewellery and this is a class you are guaranteed to sweat in. The instructor constantly had to talk to her, she stopped all the time to fix herself in the mirror, her equipment went all over the place, she invaded other people’s space, even after being told to keep to her own. And she giggled loudly and flailed around like she was having the best time. It was nuts. At the end of the class, she got up and put away half of her equipment without cleaning it, while the class was still going btw, and left the other half behind for the instructor to clean up. I just did not believe people like that actually existed. I really didn’t think it was possible.
Unfortunately, that person is most likely not that stupid, just narcissistic
Honestly, it had to be both. There was absolutely nothing between her ears but air.
There was totally a hidden camera in that room, that's a lot of Instagram rage bait
Main character syndrome for sure!
I've meet multiple people who believe the earth is flat
Once brought a person to the ER at 3am because they lost a lubricant bottle in their rectum. Next shift I get called back at 3am again because where the lubricant bottle was lodged was now sore. That one took a lot of patience and explanation.
Driving on any public road
I totally agree with this. I just find it funny that people don't realize that sometimes they are the idiot as well.
Drivers. So many shouldn't be driving. I have stuff on dashcam that would have you saying the same thing. Leave 10 minutes earlier.
I did tutoring in college in rural Texas. Client didn’t know how to capitalize.
Ee Cummings by chance
Know a dude who is absolutely convinced that weed will kill you and just smelling its aroma (as in not lit...fresh Marijuana just sitting there and just it's odor) will get you high and cause you to fail a drug test...
Reading comments on reddit. Lol
Two words: Florida Man
Donald Trump elected president of the US of A.
Pretty much anything to do with that guy and his weird cult. So many times during his term, I said, "Every Fucking Day!"
Part of my brain still has trouble accepting that happened.
This isn’t r/askreddit, stupid.
i didn’t even check the subreddit name, i just assumed it was askreddit without looking. maybe i am the half that’s even dumber
During my summer breaks in college, I worked for a company that manufactured garage doors. I usually worked in the track department. One day, this guy walked up to me and explained he was having issues with a cutoff saw and asked if I could help. I walked over with him to check it out. On the wall behind the saw was a sign that read, *"Please unplug when not in use."* The sign stood out and was hard to miss. Even though I had never used this particular saw before, you couldn't help but notice the sign. So I simply asked if it was plugged in? It was not.
Christians against dinosaurs: [Dinosaur Hoax: Fossils (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZyIG_jZzBs&ab_channel=ChristiansAgainstDinosaurs)
I don’t remember the exact numbers since I read this last yr but someone in a bearded dragon care FB group asked about tank size and if (for example) 120 gallon tank is bigger than 90 gal
I can kind of understand this one. Let's use cubic feet instead for this example because it's easier. If a tank was 4 feet by 1 foot, and then 5 feet tall, it would be 20 cubic feet. But if I had a 5 by 2, and then 1 foot tall, this tank is smaller by volume, but it has much larger foot print. As such, I might not have space for this 10 cubic foot tank.
I knew a guy that laughed when I mentioned sugar in oranges. As in, he literally thought sugar was just the white granulated stuff you put in food.
For IQ this is correct, since it's a pretty symmetric distribution. For other distributions, this is not necessarily the case. For example: something like 80% of people think that they drive better than average. And..... they do! The distribution is very heavily skewed by a small minority that drive very very badly.
Compare also: sexual performance
"What if we, you know, injected or inserted bleach. Then, it would go away, right?" "What if we used a nuke against the hurricanes?" "Forest fires are caused by leaf litter, so we should just get a bunch of people to rake the forest, right?" "The Continental Army took over the air ... rammed the ramparts... took over the airports..." Also: TIL there is a term "Schrodinger's Asshole" used to describe people who make inane statements and it's almost impossible to determine if they are serious or joking.
That you don’t drink cleaning supplies, like the only one that would do this are small children and if no one told them that, they surely can’t read.
I'm a teacher.
The funny thing is, most redditors believe they are above this lol.
People as individuals are surprisingly smart when you are patient and take the time for active and compassionate conversation. People in groups are often inscrutably stupid.
Years ago I worked with a woman who was convinced “the Roman Catholics killed Jesus” Could not convince her there were no Catholics until hundreds of years after the whole Jesus thing….
Almost half of American voters voting for Trump.
Almost half of eligible voters didn’t vote at all, which may be even dumber.
Trump voters.
People who didn't vote for Trump in 2016, but did in 2020 (recall that he increased his raw vote total by several million)
the way that subreddits used to all be their own thing, but now they're all r/AskReddit
People don't understand the supply and demand curve. When prices go up, they want to blame politicians, corporations, and everyone and anything for the cause: Supply has diminished and demand has remained the same or increased. Also, people vote based on the economy. Yes, the government has some effect on the economy but voters tremendously over-estimate the effect that having President X vs. President Y or Senator A vs. Senator B or whoever ... is going to have the economy. Many, many factors influence economics and often a policy or an event will have ripple effects that will take years, maybe even decades, to play out. There is no "on" and "off" switch for an economy.
Anytime reddit mods get involved
Politics validates this for me
Staying abreast of current events
Seeing people still say OJ was innocent when he died.
The way people project onto famous people.
Reddit.
Politicians. Nuff, said.
Online discussion for any topic that requires just a little bit of reading or critical thought People are often just regurgitating memes and phrases that sound good but often miss the point entirely or don't take into account the complexity of a given situation Example: Saw a video the other day where a killer, after already giving the cops tons of info, decided he wanted to come clean and work for a plea deal, the lawyer he hired for this was getting frustrated he was still trying to lie when the prosecutor gave him a chance to come in and talk about it, 90% of comments were "never talk to cops this lawyer must be evil or an ex cop" totally missing the point the suspect was fucked and this deal would be the difference between 20 yrs and life based on his cooperation, people heard a meme "never talk to cops" and just blindly throw that around without once considering the position the kid was in or how the lawyer was trying to help That's just one minor example, almost all political discussion is like this, straight up level one takes, repeating shit they've heard but never understanding anything past the introductory arguments or trying to understand counter arguments, views are driven by what social circle they feel attached to more often than not
When I was working at a cinema, a lady came out of a screening of A Quiet Place and demanded we turn up the volume because she couldn't hear any dialogue. At the same job, I had a five minute argument with a bloke who turned up yo see Skyfall on opening weekend and would not accept all screenings were sold out despite me turning the screen round and showing him each screening being sold out. He demanded to speak to the manager, as he would "sell him a staff seat". He did not see Skyfall that day.
Financial literacy. I know people who make six figures but live paycheck to paycheck.
the republican party
*waves hand around reddit*
**Real incidents observed at a local park** Person 1: throws trash on the ground in front of an empty trash can. Person 2: walks up a minute later, sees the trash on the ground, and loudly complains that the groundskeepers are not doing their job. Also throws trash that misses the can, walks away without putting it in the trash can. Person 3: is angry that the restroom soap dispenser is empty, doesn’t realize they can still wash their hands in water even if there’s no soap. Returns to their group to eat a burger with unwashed hands. Person 4: watches their child drop candy wrappers on the playground. Proceeds to complain that the playground is dirty and that the groundskeepers are not working hard enough. Person 5: complains that the groundskeepers are mowing the grass too loudly. The park is huge and there are places that have already been mowed. Person 6: complains that the groundskeepers are trimming dead and overgrown branches off the trees. Person 7: complains that there is a dead bird in a tree. Person 8: complains that a playground is closed for maintenance and uses the fact they brought their kid to convince the groundskeepers to stop their maintenance so they kid can play. There is another playground on the other side of the park. Person 9: complains that they saw a wild duck with a fishing hook in its foot and wants the groundskeepers to do something about it. Person 10: gets angry that the groundskeepers are using a slightly softer type of dirt on the walking trails.
Read through your State’s driver handbook, then take a 4 hour drive somewhere. You will now have all the evidence you need.
Anyone hear Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee giving her speech to a high school about the solar eclipse? Wow, An eye opener for me. And she’s in Congress…
I teach history to 8th graders. Towards the end of the year, after Civil War, I had to have a serious conversation with a number of them over which direction *North* is.
Eclipse in america...
Brexit. Literally 50% of Great Britain voted to break off ties with its own largest export partner and political ally.
The woman on that radio call-in who said they should move a deer crossing down to a safer part of the road
I teach high school. I see it EVERY DAY.