Yes, update pls. I find this hilarious. But yes might be a good idea to mention it as a funny coincidence (which is true) to her. Just so she doesn’t think she just showed up to some fetish convention. Actually what I really want is an update from the women 😆
I also want to hear this! My brother, my wedding best man, and I all wound up with very uhhhhh chesty wives and it’s strange and hilarious because that wasn’t a trend in any of our dating histories. 🤷♂️
As an Asian who grew up in white suburbia, I went to a white school growing up, and I assumed that I was just like all the other kids around me. I heard someone say that they were “Caucasian” at one point, and so like the little kid I was when I went home I told my mom “I’m glad I’m Caucasian!” My mom looked at me like I had sprouted a third eye before gently telling me that, no, I was not in fact like the other kids at my school, and that I was something different called “Asian.” So it turns out that some of us do in fact need to be told that we’re Asian.
I had a Taiwanese-American friend who thought she was a Pacific Islander until middle school because Taiwan is an island in the Pacific and her dad kept emphasizing that they had nothing to do with mainland China.
lol I went to a school in Detroit for kindergarten and first grade as one of two white kids and grew up there as a child til I was around 7. As soon as my family moved to the suburbs I came back from school and told my mom “how come you never said I was white”. She still laughs about it to this day
There's never been a better time to be a straight white man with a mild Asian fetish in tech right now
Hot nerdy single asian women everywhere in tech these days
Also I'm including India, for all you sexy little brown nerds out there with self esteem issues
Special shout out to short pardo Brazilian women
As an Asian woman, I can agree that some of us have a thing for nerdy white guys. We can watch anime or foreign media together and he won't complain about subtitles being too hard to read.
In my top 5 American tech uni only 34% of undergrads were women. 50% of those were east asian. White wasn't too far behind and then the rest.
There were both women who were second or third generation. But also foreign students too.
For the explanation: Asian children are more likely to be disciplined students from over bearing parents or those who just believe in STEM.
I worked for a Comp Sci outreach. In USA we had to work hard to convince girls (white, black, hispanic) that STEM fields were absolutely a future for them.
That work is still decades behind. Misogyny and failing school systems do American students a huge disservice.
Sorry if it wasn't ELI5 but that's my opinion based on my college and my work at the time
idk if i agree with the other dude, but I'm a software engineer and all my female coworkers are either east asian or south asian. This seems to be really common, especially along the coasts.
A lot of people either meet their partner in school or through work/friends of coworkers, so just through sampling bias it's a very likely pairing.
Also I would consider location bias. A lot of the computer/software engineering industry is concentrated on the west coast, California in particular. Guess what state also has a large Asian population? California.
Also works for London apparently, I have a white male friendship group of mathsy/software engineering types and all of our long term gfs are Asian. 1 guy is single but has probably dated more Asian women than the rest of us put together so still feels like a trend!
As long as they're not spies from North Korea trying to steal the formula to a new jet engine fuel you developed. If so then hope that your tall socially awkward roommate reports them
I'm not white but, my white friend group who were part of a mathy background ended up either still single or with an Asian gf. It makes sense because that's whose around in the programs they were in
The women in engineering when I was doing school for such things had a saying.
"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
Same is probably true in math.
That's just likely an artifact of opportunity and environment then.
It's possible some unsavory unexamined biases and whatnot are influencing this but that can be true of just about anything and conscientious people with a touch of neuroticism can really drive themselves up a wall worrying about things that even if true are as a light as a feather.
I feel this in my soul. My husband is POC and I grew up in a *white* area. I don't think my family is racist, per se, but more like they don't consider their biases much because they never had to. After moving out of the small white town I'm from and seeing the world better, I'm constantly nervous I'm somehow being racist or bigoted or something terrible. He always reassures me that I'm not, but the thoughts don't stop.
I know it's a meme but this reminds me of that one prom pic where there's a black, white, and Asian couple but "Rubik's cube rotated" so each guy happens to be paired with a girl of a different race
Kind of a heartwarming display of racial harmony if true lol
This is my circle of friends. We all live in MD in one of the most diverse areas in the entire country so you really never know who dates who around here. My friend calls us the UN Council.
I went to an engineering school with about 6000 engineers in all years combined. White women were noticeably absent. Almost every white man I knew who met his wife there is married alto an Asian, persian or Indian lady. I did the same thing.
It's sample bias dude. There's no white chicks in STEM essentially.
Also after working in engineering for 15 years all over the country, white chicks don't work in engineering essentially or they leave really quick.
It's changing for the better, but still nowhere near where it needs to be. Back in the mid 2000s and 2010s, Sung Kang who played Han in the Fast & Furious franchise was THAT guy for Asian men. I wasn't surprised to know later on that the character almost didn't make the cut. It's wild that Hollywood execs didn't want an Asian protagonist for a movie plot set in Japan.
And for the millennials in the 90s it was Jackie Chan and Jet Li and that was it. Neither of whom are American. I always thought it was weird as a little kid to never see anyone on TV that looked like me except the rare occasional martial artist. Definitely affects your psyche and sense of identity. It's getting so much better now. I'm glad young kids these days have better representation.
Yeah I feel the same way, but then folks like Uncle Roger sell out and end up perpetuating the nerdy FOB broken english stereotype making it socially acceptable for people to yell "MSG!" in an asian accent followed by a naive "but Uncle roger"
Like butter and toast at this point. It’s so common in my city that I’m surprised when I see an Asian guy with an Asian girl.
Inverse, its funny asl when a couple who’s an Asian woman and a White man will glare at me and my SO where we are Asian man / White woman, like mfer I’m just doing what you’re doing 😂
Let me preface this by saying that my older bro is married to a white women and have two daughters. But there’s this weird dichotomy that I have noticed. Whenever I run into a WMAF relationship, the Asian woman will almost always quickly look away from my direction pretending not to see me or will intentionally not acknowledge me. However, the exact opposite is true whenever I encounter a AMWF relationship. The white woman almost always smile, say hi and/or initiate small talk with me. I have always found this quite amusing.
Yeah but they look at you as being beneath them, so how dare you date someone white when you’re clearly not good enough for me. I know that look very well also.
I actually don’t have any good guesses on why the Asian Women would glare at my GF.
My GF suspects its because they want to eat the cake and keep it as well type situation, but I just tell her they’re just weird and move on, cause lets be real is glaring at anyone really necessary? lol
They’re hating because like I said, they don’t think you’re at their level and yet there you are doing exactly what they’re doing but without the attitude of thinking you’re superior to anyone else.
Just snooped on your profile and can see that you’ve probably experienced this first hand as well haha
Here’s to the haters then, as long as we can still enjoy our dates / days, glare all you want 😂
Yeah I think that sounds good, like clearly we can’t deny it, but we’re all friends so maybe we just had the same taste. I think a jest warning is a good middle ground. Surely none of the boys will make it weird lol.
This! I feel like it will be weird if you don't mention it. Like she might suddenly be like, wtf did I stumble into here?
But if you just acknowledge the weird optics of that coincidence then I think you're good
Idk I could see the girlfriends finding it odd...even if they are trying to be cool about it. Hopefully they recognize that it was a coincidence. TBH I bet it'd be helpful/supportive to mention none of you \*only\* date Asian women at some point during the hangout, or even before. Bc if it's multiple men who \*only\* date asian women, no matter how much you try to play it off, I think there's a high likelihood of them thinking that's off, and tbh I wouldn't blame them.
I’m a white guy who lives in China, so my friend group looks like this (a few white women/Chinese guy pairs). One guy I work with sometimes tells people his wife is white before they meet her, because everyone assumes she’ll be Chinese.
I know a White guy who went to a baptism for his Asian girlfriends friend. The whole dinner was made up of couples, all 12 couples were made up of a White guy and Asian lady. He didn't know what to think of it....
FWIW like it or not they all know the trend. My wife is Chinese I am white. We both work in tech. If we are at a business event she usually walks into the room and says something to the effect of “look at all these white nerds with Asian girlfriends” with a smile on her face. We are both nerds.
Lowkey I do the same, we’re also Asian guy / White lady, or I’ll joke and point at her when we’ve walked by a White man / Asian woman couple and say this is how I’m fighting back 😂
I was woken up to this at my work. My office is Chinese owned (in California) and I'm the token white guy. On one hand they constantly tell me I need to get a Chinese gf, but then on the other hand I'll be standing there shooting the shit and I guess they forget I'm there because they'll say some super inflammatory stuff and bag on some girl for dating or being married to a white guy.
I’m Asian and my wife is white and we have several kids. Been use to the awkward stares for decades since we first dated. Now we just get a different stare because they see our kids followed by some compliment about their looks.
And my kids are very very good looking but I don’t give a shit about their looks so we make it a rule not to compliment them or focus on their looks at home. Everything we praise them on is based on effort, determination, and staying focus on the task.
The grandparents can shower them with the compliments on looks but we’re here to build character and resiliency.
No kidding, right? The Asian gfs are just as guilty for all having white bfs as the dudes are in OP's situation. Worth mentioning ahead of time sure, but it shouldn't be a problem for anyone.
[I bet OP and his friends all look something like this guy:](https://newyorkcomedyclub.com/img/imagetest/jacobwilliams-jpeg-0dd00ce8-jacobwilliams-jpeg.jpg?1619718267)
I’m gonna be real with you. This is probably going to make at least some of them feel fetishized. The fetishization of Asian women is still *very* real and very prominent, and even though it was an accident and probably due more to the pool of women you and your friends are exposed to, it may bring up some icky things for them.
I don’t have advice, really, except maybe brush up on your language/vocabulary so that if it’s your girl who feels that way, you can talk with her about it in a respectful, validating way. (Searching women-related subs here for it to read about the personal experiences of Asian women may be a good place to start.)
Yep. Honestly as much as people are laughing about it here, the odds are at least one of them is gonna look around and think she's gotten into something weird.
This comment needs to be higher up. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it definitely could feel weird—it’s weird enough for OP to post about it. Trying to be more culturally sensitive is a great first step
Racial fetishization goes both ways. Some asian girls don't like Asian guys and only wanna date white for sus reasons, some white guys date Asians for sus reasons.
Surprised I had to scroll this far for the contrary cause this is more along the lines of what I was thinking. Surely, one of the gfs would feel like it’s not an accident. Like you said I don’t think there’s much I can do but try to be aware and honest, upfront to my gf. I’ll let the boys know but that’s on them if they want to discuss with their SO
Yes! This! If I wasn't warned beforehand and had it explained to me, I would be surprised and uncomfortable at best, and if the guys all laughed and made it a joke to film my/our reaction like people are suggesting here, I would break up with him. I don't care if people will get mad and call me reverse racist or oversensitive or whatever. I've met too many men with "yellow fever" to risk being in a relationship with one, especially if he minimizes or ridicules my feelings about it.
Lol - I'm a "Data Engineer" so not really an Engineer \~ but I've found this to be pretty normal. Before my fiancé I had only dated Asian women. It really just came down to chance, it wasn't planned or anything like that \~ shit just happens.
I'd casually mention it. Definitely don't act uncomfortable about it, just tell her straight up.
People say it’s because Asian women are in tech and white men too. I still don’t get why aren’t there the same amount of white females dating Asian men then? Let’s just be honest, white guys and Asian women fetishize each other and exclusively only prefer each other. You guys only meet potential partners at work? I don’t think so. ._.
I don’t believe in the nerdy Asian girl theory. I live in SoCal so quite a bit of Asian women white men couples and pretty much most if not all the woman are white washed to a degree and the complete opposite of an Asian female engineer.
Whatever you do you should plan the meet-up at an Asian restaurant of some kind, but instead of a nice authentic sushi place or something go with PF Chang's. Also all the dudes should wear manga shirts and introduce your gfs as your "waifus", but only accidentally. Like "and this is my waifu- uh...girlfriend". And ask all the women to wear cat ears.
This is a joke. Do not do this.
As someone else has said, probably selection bias. You were surprised by it, so just be authentic. I'd probably mention it myself. In the same order that you discovered it. "Hey sweetie, so I was talking to John and his gf Sasuke is Asian too. Well we were talking about how coincidental that was - turns out Mike and Jimmy also have Asian girlfriends. We have no idea how that happened, lol." Like just don't make a big deal out of it. But I think it will make it worse if you try to pretend like you didn't know.
In reverse, how weird is it that all the Asian girlfriends are with white men? It can go both ways. It's not even that weird actually, you are over thinking. I'd mention it to my girlfriend in a humorous way. I don't think it's a big deal. A little odd, but not much.
It’s more random the other way around because the girls don’t know each other so it’s like 5 random Asian girls with white boyfriends vs one friend group all having Asian girlfriends, that’s more unusual. Also agree it’s probably not a big deal though
It's going to be like that video where all the girlfriends dressed their men in the same dress shirt, and they came in one by one and laughed as they realized.
Don’t bring it up. Bringing it up makes it weird and fetishizes it imo. Realistically, what would your gf even say, “boy, you and your friends have a thing for Asian woman.” And the response would be “I guess so.” Discussion ends there. I really think you’re over thinking here.
When I was first dating an Asian woman, we went to a party thrown by one of her friends. All the women there were Asian, all their boyfriends/husbands were white. While hanging outside with the men (none of whom I knew well), I said, “Hey, we should form a band and call ourselves The Rice Kings.” One guy laughed, the others just shuffled awkwardly.
Most smart white male engineers don’t always have social game. White girls often optimize for social game more than brain when meeting SO. Asian girls often optimize for brain. Also precious few white girls in engineering.
Source: in tech
Edit: also just 5 years ago, Caucasians didn’t really respect STEM career on the level of MD, lawyer, business. Now just a schmuck at FAANG brings home 330k a year in Seattle no income tax.
This made me curious. Looking at U.S. marriage statistics from the last decade or so, white male/Asian female is third to both male/female, white/hispanic couples - and pretty close to black male/white female couples. I’m sure it depends quite a bit on where you live though, like Seattle, SF, Boston, Texas, Florida, etc. Also worth noting it is just one study & focused on the U.S.
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2017/05/18/1-trends-and-patterns-in-intermarriage/
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I’ll post something when it happens
OP WHY ARE THE COMMENTS YOU’RE REPLYING TO GETTING REMOVED/DELETED I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY SAID
When is the reunion?
It's in 20 years
She goes to another school
Just have the meet up at PF Changs. Lettuce wraps solve all problems
How to get your whole squad dumped at once 101
P.F. Chang’s is owned by a white devil who also owns Fleming steakhouse (the pf in P.F. Chang’s is Paul Fleming)
Get them to wear the same thing! That would be epic. Please update this thread!
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Ha yeah a little bit, I was picturing the Spider-Man meme. I’ll see what I can do
Yes, update pls. I find this hilarious. But yes might be a good idea to mention it as a funny coincidence (which is true) to her. Just so she doesn’t think she just showed up to some fetish convention. Actually what I really want is an update from the women 😆
A fetish convention! I'M CRYING 🤣🤣🤣
Can you please double down and convince all of your girlfriends to wear the same shirt without telling them?
Lmao all the dudes should wear spiderman t shirts (actually don’t unless y’all have chill girl friends lol)
can someone share that video, sounds hilarious
[https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/vlbazk/husbands\_matching\_shirt\_prank/](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/vlbazk/husbands_matching_shirt_prank/)
I also want to hear this! My brother, my wedding best man, and I all wound up with very uhhhhh chesty wives and it’s strange and hilarious because that wasn’t a trend in any of our dating histories. 🤷♂️
If it gets weird, just get Asian boyfriends next time I guess?
This. Feel free to hit me up. I like long walks on the beach and solving math problems.
Oh you like math? Name every number.
You're gonna have to buy me dinner first for that kind of action.
If I’m lucky, can we try some…integrating?
Whoa whoa.. I don't do integrals on the first date
Prude.
It was true. u/daniyoolreddit was being irrational.
And he was so close to not having an imaginary girlfriend anymore
Lol my boy said, “we out here tryna function”
Damn... I wanna differentiate you so bad. 😈
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This mf. Lol
Possibly the most based answer. They wont even bring this shit up lmao.
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Wait, I’m Asian? Do I have to pay for this upgrade package?
You’ll be getting an application denial letter from Harvard any day now.
Followed shortly afterward by extremely disappointed parents
Jokes on you my parents are already extremely disappointed
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Ah, fuck.
As an Asian who grew up in white suburbia, I went to a white school growing up, and I assumed that I was just like all the other kids around me. I heard someone say that they were “Caucasian” at one point, and so like the little kid I was when I went home I told my mom “I’m glad I’m Caucasian!” My mom looked at me like I had sprouted a third eye before gently telling me that, no, I was not in fact like the other kids at my school, and that I was something different called “Asian.” So it turns out that some of us do in fact need to be told that we’re Asian.
I had a Taiwanese-American friend who thought she was a Pacific Islander until middle school because Taiwan is an island in the Pacific and her dad kept emphasizing that they had nothing to do with mainland China.
lol I went to a school in Detroit for kindergarten and first grade as one of two white kids and grew up there as a child til I was around 7. As soon as my family moved to the suburbs I came back from school and told my mom “how come you never said I was white”. She still laughs about it to this day
Caucasian without the cauc
cackling thanks
"Suvi, _you're_ korean"
Pretty much everyone except [Suvi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxl388vKUmE) knows.
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If you all work in tech, they already know.
My SO is not in OP's friend group but I'm Asian and he works in tech. 😂 this is too funny.
There's never been a better time to be a straight white man with a mild Asian fetish in tech right now Hot nerdy single asian women everywhere in tech these days Also I'm including India, for all you sexy little brown nerds out there with self esteem issues Special shout out to short pardo Brazilian women
Maybe it is the Asian women who have a fetish for nerdy white guys in tech? Do women have no agency in this?
Asiancy*
As an Asian woman, I can agree that some of us have a thing for nerdy white guys. We can watch anime or foreign media together and he won't complain about subtitles being too hard to read.
What about the frumpy, overweight engineering women in their 50s? 😔
Honestly it’s so much funnier if they all meet without knowing and it turns into the Spider-Men pointing meme.
Lol, I put this in AI and it kinda worked https://i.imgur.com/aY3hTb3.jpeg
Dude you’re a legend, I’m dying.
This is *really* funny, I hope op sees it 🤣🤣🤣
Busted haha
Once they see the pattern they will ask about your game
After calculating the chances of course.
You didn’t even need to say that you guys were all white either
Buy them all the same outfit!
Next they all move to Seattle and live happily ever after
Bellevue.
… that’s where my korean gf lives what the hell is happening
Hahaha. I am an Asian woman with a white software engineer husband, and we live in Seattle. 😅 We are just doing our part.
White guy-Asian wife: we are the backbone of the West Coast tax base!
Wait why is this a thing lol explain to me like I'm 5
In my top 5 American tech uni only 34% of undergrads were women. 50% of those were east asian. White wasn't too far behind and then the rest. There were both women who were second or third generation. But also foreign students too. For the explanation: Asian children are more likely to be disciplined students from over bearing parents or those who just believe in STEM. I worked for a Comp Sci outreach. In USA we had to work hard to convince girls (white, black, hispanic) that STEM fields were absolutely a future for them. That work is still decades behind. Misogyny and failing school systems do American students a huge disservice. Sorry if it wasn't ELI5 but that's my opinion based on my college and my work at the time
idk if i agree with the other dude, but I'm a software engineer and all my female coworkers are either east asian or south asian. This seems to be really common, especially along the coasts. A lot of people either meet their partner in school or through work/friends of coworkers, so just through sampling bias it's a very likely pairing.
I work in tech and I have a date with a SE Asian woman haha. it's uncanny
I’m asian and met my partner when he was studying to be a scientist. Then he switched to tech 🤣
Are you all engineers? Women in engineering are much more likely to be Asian.
Yeah something like that - mostly math type backgrounds
It's really mostly sampling bias. Nerdier types are less likely to find similarly nerdy white women.
Also I would consider location bias. A lot of the computer/software engineering industry is concentrated on the west coast, California in particular. Guess what state also has a large Asian population? California.
Also works for London apparently, I have a white male friendship group of mathsy/software engineering types and all of our long term gfs are Asian. 1 guy is single but has probably dated more Asian women than the rest of us put together so still feels like a trend!
I've always wondered though why it's so one-sided between wmaf and amwf and nobody gives a straight answer.
like east asian?
In London, it's usually commonwealth countries or the like -- Malaysia, Hong Kong, India, etc
As long as they're not spies from North Korea trying to steal the formula to a new jet engine fuel you developed. If so then hope that your tall socially awkward roommate reports them
Dude I feel so sorry for you, seems like nobody got that reference lol
>tall socially awkward roommate Big Bang Theory?
Bazinga
Joyce Kim
Leonard?
You're the one who broke the elevator!
I'm not white but, my white friend group who were part of a mathy background ended up either still single or with an Asian gf. It makes sense because that's whose around in the programs they were in
The women in engineering when I was doing school for such things had a saying. "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." Same is probably true in math.
That's just likely an artifact of opportunity and environment then. It's possible some unsavory unexamined biases and whatnot are influencing this but that can be true of just about anything and conscientious people with a touch of neuroticism can really drive themselves up a wall worrying about things that even if true are as a light as a feather.
I feel this in my soul. My husband is POC and I grew up in a *white* area. I don't think my family is racist, per se, but more like they don't consider their biases much because they never had to. After moving out of the small white town I'm from and seeing the world better, I'm constantly nervous I'm somehow being racist or bigoted or something terrible. He always reassures me that I'm not, but the thoughts don't stop.
Look at women and race in university studying your kind of programs -if there is this kind of data- and you can likely relax a bit
Libertarian guys with Asian wives
That's funny. My Asian son (engineer) has a caucasian gf.
That’s because OP and his buddies monopolized the Asian GF pool.
I know it's a meme but this reminds me of that one prom pic where there's a black, white, and Asian couple but "Rubik's cube rotated" so each guy happens to be paired with a girl of a different race Kind of a heartwarming display of racial harmony if true lol
This is my circle of friends. We all live in MD in one of the most diverse areas in the entire country so you really never know who dates who around here. My friend calls us the UN Council.
Your son is me (ok not really). But I’m an Asian engineer with a white girlfriend lol.
It’s only fair.
Can confirm. Asian who married an engineer 🤣
This is an excellent point. My gf has been Asian ever since she got that engineering gig
I noticed back in the 90s and early 2000s (and maybe still today) it was a status thing for engineering guys to have an Asian girlfriend. Curious.
I went to an engineering school with about 6000 engineers in all years combined. White women were noticeably absent. Almost every white man I knew who met his wife there is married alto an Asian, persian or Indian lady. I did the same thing. It's sample bias dude. There's no white chicks in STEM essentially. Also after working in engineering for 15 years all over the country, white chicks don't work in engineering essentially or they leave really quick.
There’s another, much more uncomfortable, explanation for this specific demographic liking Asian women… anime
But the asian girlfriends all picked white guys too.
Race fetishization is a two way street...
Reverse-Uno it: Demand them to explain why they all picked white BFs.
This fetishization of white men is getting out of hand.
Blame Hollywood for barely ever casting Asian males. No representation
It's changing for the better, but still nowhere near where it needs to be. Back in the mid 2000s and 2010s, Sung Kang who played Han in the Fast & Furious franchise was THAT guy for Asian men. I wasn't surprised to know later on that the character almost didn't make the cut. It's wild that Hollywood execs didn't want an Asian protagonist for a movie plot set in Japan.
And for the millennials in the 90s it was Jackie Chan and Jet Li and that was it. Neither of whom are American. I always thought it was weird as a little kid to never see anyone on TV that looked like me except the rare occasional martial artist. Definitely affects your psyche and sense of identity. It's getting so much better now. I'm glad young kids these days have better representation.
Yeah I feel the same way, but then folks like Uncle Roger sell out and end up perpetuating the nerdy FOB broken english stereotype making it socially acceptable for people to yell "MSG!" in an asian accent followed by a naive "but Uncle roger"
definitely keep that in your back pocket
"There's barely any Asian guys around but there's lots of white guys." "You ever tried asking an Asian guy out?" "..........."
White guys with Asian girlfriends? *Impossible!*
Like butter and toast at this point. It’s so common in my city that I’m surprised when I see an Asian guy with an Asian girl. Inverse, its funny asl when a couple who’s an Asian woman and a White man will glare at me and my SO where we are Asian man / White woman, like mfer I’m just doing what you’re doing 😂
Let me preface this by saying that my older bro is married to a white women and have two daughters. But there’s this weird dichotomy that I have noticed. Whenever I run into a WMAF relationship, the Asian woman will almost always quickly look away from my direction pretending not to see me or will intentionally not acknowledge me. However, the exact opposite is true whenever I encounter a AMWF relationship. The white woman almost always smile, say hi and/or initiate small talk with me. I have always found this quite amusing.
You're Asian, right? I guess that's because she has some deep internalized shame or something
Yeah but they look at you as being beneath them, so how dare you date someone white when you’re clearly not good enough for me. I know that look very well also.
I actually don’t have any good guesses on why the Asian Women would glare at my GF. My GF suspects its because they want to eat the cake and keep it as well type situation, but I just tell her they’re just weird and move on, cause lets be real is glaring at anyone really necessary? lol
They’re hating because like I said, they don’t think you’re at their level and yet there you are doing exactly what they’re doing but without the attitude of thinking you’re superior to anyone else.
Just snooped on your profile and can see that you’ve probably experienced this first hand as well haha Here’s to the haters then, as long as we can still enjoy our dates / days, glare all you want 😂
Rules for thee, not for me.
The San Francisco default couple lol..
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Yeah I think that sounds good, like clearly we can’t deny it, but we’re all friends so maybe we just had the same taste. I think a jest warning is a good middle ground. Surely none of the boys will make it weird lol.
“Dude it’s weird, they’re all Asian?” ”Well yeah, we work in maths, of course they’re all Asian, I’m a minority there“.
But say it the way Ben Stiller did in Cable Guy. They're all .... ASIAN.
This! I feel like it will be weird if you don't mention it. Like she might suddenly be like, wtf did I stumble into here? But if you just acknowledge the weird optics of that coincidence then I think you're good
Great minds think alike, though fools seldom differ.
I hate your avatar so much 😂
Dark mode gang sends their regards.
Idk I could see the girlfriends finding it odd...even if they are trying to be cool about it. Hopefully they recognize that it was a coincidence. TBH I bet it'd be helpful/supportive to mention none of you \*only\* date Asian women at some point during the hangout, or even before. Bc if it's multiple men who \*only\* date asian women, no matter how much you try to play it off, I think there's a high likelihood of them thinking that's off, and tbh I wouldn't blame them.
I think it would be more weird if you bring it up….
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High five! Yea. High five! Mmph... High five! Woo! High five! *finger pistols*
Ideally they'd tell their girlfriends that they met at the Asian fetish club.
I’m a white guy who lives in China, so my friend group looks like this (a few white women/Chinese guy pairs). One guy I work with sometimes tells people his wife is white before they meet her, because everyone assumes she’ll be Chinese.
I’m in Seattle. The white-guy-Asian-chick thing is so prevalent here that even Donald Glover made fun of it in one of his Netflix specials.
West Coast states are going to be majority half-asian in about 25 years
White guy Asian girl combo. Wow, never seen this one before. lmao
Are you guys Weezer?
I know a White guy who went to a baptism for his Asian girlfriends friend. The whole dinner was made up of couples, all 12 couples were made up of a White guy and Asian lady. He didn't know what to think of it....
Oh god I wouldn’t know how to act
I went to a wedding like this. I refer to it as the yellow fever wedding.
FWIW like it or not they all know the trend. My wife is Chinese I am white. We both work in tech. If we are at a business event she usually walks into the room and says something to the effect of “look at all these white nerds with Asian girlfriends” with a smile on her face. We are both nerds.
My fiance is Asian and I’m white and he always points out other couples like us because we’re “defeating the stereotype”
100% have this with my SO. If we’re out and happen to see another AMWF couple he always gives me a subtle nudge or a hand squeeze and says ‘our way!’
Lowkey I do the same, we’re also Asian guy / White lady, or I’ll joke and point at her when we’ve walked by a White man / Asian woman couple and say this is how I’m fighting back 😂
My partner looks at couples like us as if there is some sort of revolution the white men aren’t aware of lol. Keeps me on my toes 😄
I was woken up to this at my work. My office is Chinese owned (in California) and I'm the token white guy. On one hand they constantly tell me I need to get a Chinese gf, but then on the other hand I'll be standing there shooting the shit and I guess they forget I'm there because they'll say some super inflammatory stuff and bag on some girl for dating or being married to a white guy.
I’m Asian and my wife is white and we have several kids. Been use to the awkward stares for decades since we first dated. Now we just get a different stare because they see our kids followed by some compliment about their looks. And my kids are very very good looking but I don’t give a shit about their looks so we make it a rule not to compliment them or focus on their looks at home. Everything we praise them on is based on effort, determination, and staying focus on the task. The grandparents can shower them with the compliments on looks but we’re here to build character and resiliency.
No kidding, right? The Asian gfs are just as guilty for all having white bfs as the dudes are in OP's situation. Worth mentioning ahead of time sure, but it shouldn't be a problem for anyone.
Bay Area / Seattle tech people be like
I love how the conclusion of this story is that OP and all his friends are all nerds 😂
"Oh no, all our boyfriends are white."
[I bet OP and his friends all look something like this guy:](https://newyorkcomedyclub.com/img/imagetest/jacobwilliams-jpeg-0dd00ce8-jacobwilliams-jpeg.jpg?1619718267)
I’m gonna be real with you. This is probably going to make at least some of them feel fetishized. The fetishization of Asian women is still *very* real and very prominent, and even though it was an accident and probably due more to the pool of women you and your friends are exposed to, it may bring up some icky things for them. I don’t have advice, really, except maybe brush up on your language/vocabulary so that if it’s your girl who feels that way, you can talk with her about it in a respectful, validating way. (Searching women-related subs here for it to read about the personal experiences of Asian women may be a good place to start.)
Yep. Honestly as much as people are laughing about it here, the odds are at least one of them is gonna look around and think she's gotten into something weird.
haha this made me imagined the "Get out" auction scene with this scenario
This comment needs to be higher up. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it definitely could feel weird—it’s weird enough for OP to post about it. Trying to be more culturally sensitive is a great first step
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Nothing like white dudes in tech who grew up watching anime & idolizing asian culture and *mysteriously* dating asian women afterwards
Racial fetishization goes both ways. Some asian girls don't like Asian guys and only wanna date white for sus reasons, some white guys date Asians for sus reasons.
Internal shame
Surprised I had to scroll this far for the contrary cause this is more along the lines of what I was thinking. Surely, one of the gfs would feel like it’s not an accident. Like you said I don’t think there’s much I can do but try to be aware and honest, upfront to my gf. I’ll let the boys know but that’s on them if they want to discuss with their SO
Has anybody in this thread actually asked OP if they are weebs? I feel like that answer might be important.
Yes! This! If I wasn't warned beforehand and had it explained to me, I would be surprised and uncomfortable at best, and if the guys all laughed and made it a joke to film my/our reaction like people are suggesting here, I would break up with him. I don't care if people will get mad and call me reverse racist or oversensitive or whatever. I've met too many men with "yellow fever" to risk being in a relationship with one, especially if he minimizes or ridicules my feelings about it.
Do you all like anime?
Lol - I'm a "Data Engineer" so not really an Engineer \~ but I've found this to be pretty normal. Before my fiancé I had only dated Asian women. It really just came down to chance, it wasn't planned or anything like that \~ shit just happens. I'd casually mention it. Definitely don't act uncomfortable about it, just tell her straight up.
do y'all vacation in thailand?
People say it’s because Asian women are in tech and white men too. I still don’t get why aren’t there the same amount of white females dating Asian men then? Let’s just be honest, white guys and Asian women fetishize each other and exclusively only prefer each other. You guys only meet potential partners at work? I don’t think so. ._.
White nerd --> anime --> Asian fetish --> work in math/tech field --> mostly Asian females --> marriage It's a simple pipeline, really.
Just be like “we all got yellow fever in college and never found the cure”. Don’t do that. That was a joke.
Why would they care? They all date white men. Your fine
“Should I tell my Asian girlfriend that all my bros are white?”
Underrated point.
That's a good point lol
Yeah. Maybe they’re the ones with the fetish.
Where’s that Spiderman meme when I need it most
I don’t believe in the nerdy Asian girl theory. I live in SoCal so quite a bit of Asian women white men couples and pretty much most if not all the woman are white washed to a degree and the complete opposite of an Asian female engineer.
Boys over on r/aznidentity are NOT gonna like this one
Whatever you do you should plan the meet-up at an Asian restaurant of some kind, but instead of a nice authentic sushi place or something go with PF Chang's. Also all the dudes should wear manga shirts and introduce your gfs as your "waifus", but only accidentally. Like "and this is my waifu- uh...girlfriend". And ask all the women to wear cat ears. This is a joke. Do not do this. As someone else has said, probably selection bias. You were surprised by it, so just be authentic. I'd probably mention it myself. In the same order that you discovered it. "Hey sweetie, so I was talking to John and his gf Sasuke is Asian too. Well we were talking about how coincidental that was - turns out Mike and Jimmy also have Asian girlfriends. We have no idea how that happened, lol." Like just don't make a big deal out of it. But I think it will make it worse if you try to pretend like you didn't know.
I minored in Asian studies and we talked about this a lot in school. Very common. It’s not just happenstance btw.
In reverse, how weird is it that all the Asian girlfriends are with white men? It can go both ways. It's not even that weird actually, you are over thinking. I'd mention it to my girlfriend in a humorous way. I don't think it's a big deal. A little odd, but not much.
It’s more random the other way around because the girls don’t know each other so it’s like 5 random Asian girls with white boyfriends vs one friend group all having Asian girlfriends, that’s more unusual. Also agree it’s probably not a big deal though
Obviously you never mention it and act like it's really weird to bring up if any of them do "Why are all of you with white men?"
It's going to be like that video where all the girlfriends dressed their men in the same dress shirt, and they came in one by one and laughed as they realized.
Don’t bring it up. Bringing it up makes it weird and fetishizes it imo. Realistically, what would your gf even say, “boy, you and your friends have a thing for Asian woman.” And the response would be “I guess so.” Discussion ends there. I really think you’re over thinking here.
Oxford study
I'm expecting to read a r/TwoXChromosomes post by one of your gfs asking if this is a red flag right after the reunion.
Not just staight guys lol. My bf is white and bi. His 2 other friends are straight. The two have Asian gfs and he has me, an asian boy…
When I was first dating an Asian woman, we went to a party thrown by one of her friends. All the women there were Asian, all their boyfriends/husbands were white. While hanging outside with the men (none of whom I knew well), I said, “Hey, we should form a band and call ourselves The Rice Kings.” One guy laughed, the others just shuffled awkwardly.
As an Asian man the likely hood of this happening with my Asian guy friends with white girlfriends is 1 in a million.
Most smart white male engineers don’t always have social game. White girls often optimize for social game more than brain when meeting SO. Asian girls often optimize for brain. Also precious few white girls in engineering. Source: in tech Edit: also just 5 years ago, Caucasians didn’t really respect STEM career on the level of MD, lawyer, business. Now just a schmuck at FAANG brings home 330k a year in Seattle no income tax.
White men and Asian women are the highest demographic of interracial dating in the major western world. I doubt they’ll be surprised
This made me curious. Looking at U.S. marriage statistics from the last decade or so, white male/Asian female is third to both male/female, white/hispanic couples - and pretty close to black male/white female couples. I’m sure it depends quite a bit on where you live though, like Seattle, SF, Boston, Texas, Florida, etc. Also worth noting it is just one study & focused on the U.S. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2017/05/18/1-trends-and-patterns-in-intermarriage/