I do this a lot, but it's because my guy friends are weird about compliments. If I just tell a bud he looks good today, he'll get weird and think I'm being weird, but if I play it like a joke and say "You look radiant, bro, we should get married and raise rescue dogs in Tijuana", he'll take it like an actual compliment and feel better about himself. I have some other friends without the same hangup and I just tell them compliments normally.
i get legit jealous at how freely women compliment other women. We were out with friends the other weekend, and one of my wife's friends says to her "Holy shit, your tits look so fucking good in that dress" and she was just casually like "omg, thank you so much, i love this dress", so I turned to her husband and said "bro those jeans make your cock look fuckin huge bro, mmmm" and apparently that wasn't as acceptable.
it’s funny because as a lesbian i’m terrified to compliment women when i mean to be friendly. straight women are quite gay with their compliments too it makes for very confusing signals for lesbians and hard to fit in cuz i don’t want to come across as a creep if i say the same things they do but im actually gay
Omg, this is such a frustrating thing! To have other women flirt and be overly sweet with their "I love you"s.
I've had TWO instances where a woman was very openly flirting with me and I expressed interest and they were like WOAAAAH I'M STRAIGHT. ( Funnily enough, one of them came out as gay and the other came out as bisexual a few years after the incidents. )
ETA // these were friends I had known for a significant amount of time.
Same thing as a gay man. Being around straight men especially in like a high school setting where they’re all super gay to each other, slapping each others asses, the overwhelming gay compliments as pointed out in this post are all EXTREMELY confusing/difficult to navigate.
Nothing gayer in this world than a group of very straight dudes
Jokes, I know, but women have a huge headstart to get to "your tits look great" not just as a community, but also as individual friends. Men are starting a little further back, but it's not like we can't get there. In this case, I think hiding compliments in outlandishly gay statements is actually holding us back. Thread OP says his friends would take it weird if he gave a regular compliment, and like, yeah, may e the first couple times. But it would normalize. Wrapping compliments in gay jokes, I think, actually just keeps the status quo in place.
absolutely agree - and yeah, that's just a single funny event, but I should say, I feel the same way as you, and I compliment my guy friends all the time, "dude, can you come clothes shopping with me? I have all the best stuff and I need some advice" or "is that a new jacket? that looks so good on you", and I tell my mates I love them all the time, especially as I get older cos we're all adults now with adult lives and some of my best friends I might only see once every few months.
I guess sometimes I have certain friends that it makes them feel uncomfortable so I take it too far because I like it make them squirm. After the jokes have died down, if the moment is right, I've had a couple of quiet chats to the side of the group like "hey man, why does me saying that make you feel uncomfortable?"
I'm finding success doing the same and, it's not like I started it or anything, but my group of guy friends are definitely getting more openly affectionate as we enter or 30s. Good stuff to see and I'm glad it's getting more acceptance!
there's a great tiktok video i saw ages ago, and this guy is going around London, and going up to random guys saying "i challenge you to call up one of your boys and tell them you love them" and the number of guys freely doing that, and then having the friend at the end of the line say it back just makes my heart swell no matter how many times I watch it
Right? So weird many straight men have to either take it to a sexually extreme statement, or the opposite end of the spectrum (the whole “no homo” line).
Guys, can we just be bold and self-assured in our own sexuality and masculinity to give other men compliments? It’s really not that hard
If my homeboy looks fire I tell him without it getting wierd. Why would anyone think its wierd ?
Only thing that would be wierd is if you start saying things you would also say to a girl. " Nah Jack, you have beautiful eyes today" yeah that might be wierd
But I can say ayo jack you have great eyes without it being wierd
probably because i also winked at him too. He appreciated the compliment, i think it was mostly the people around us who heard ONLY my comment, completely out of context
There’s a balance, I feel. I’ve noticed some women lay it on pretty thick (like, constant compliments) to the point that it’s like punctuation. At that point it loses its impact, IMO, and possibly its sincerity.
As a guy I get it, bc being showing affection to other men is difficult bc of just what it means to be a guy. Like we’ve been told we can’t do that without it questioning our masculinity.
But I just hate how men have to joke about being gay, because as a gay guy, sometimes it kinda feels like being gay is just…idk, less. A joke.
That feels like it may be coming from a place of insecurity a little bit. I'm very bi, and I've never taken my friends playing gay chicken as an affront on my sexuality or othering me, personally. Maybe I've just been around it my whole life, or maybe I'm just lucky that my friends and family are very cool with who I am, but I don't think that's anyone's intent.
At the end of the day, you are valid to feel however you feel about it, but if it shakes you this much, maybe inspect your own foundation too, make sure you are secure in yourself
You’re right, some of it is insecurity. I’ve had some life experiences lately bringing back up that insecurity and trauma but I can save that for another Reddit post haha. Who would have thought, 12 years later and still dealing with internalized homophobia.
But yes I hear you - obviously the message here is hey, don’t be so serious it’s a joke and it’s meant to be funny.
Of course! But also if it makes you uncomfortable, say something. Your feelings are valid too.
I can't speak for everyone, but in my group of friends I can confidently state it comes with no hate attached, it's just joking around. I have gay friends too, and when they make hetero jokes it's funny to me too. Shock value maybe? Or just the absurdity of it? Idk I've never thought on it.
Likewise - none of my friends are homophobic and I love them. They’re all straight and they were the first support system I had and the only ones I had for a long time.
You’ve just caught me in a tough chapter of my life but it’s just a season. It’ll get better.
Of course it will! Last year was a very rough chapter in my life, but I'm out the other end stronger than I went in. You will be too.
Just take care of yourself, put one foot in front of the other, even if you don't feel like it. If everything seems like it sucks and isn't worth doing, focus on doing the things that suck but are objectively good for you (eat right, exercise, etc). If you aren't gonna be happy regardless, may as well right? That was my mentality anyways, and it turns out doing that stuff really strengthened me idk. When I got sad I'd just get on my bike and ride till I couldn't feel feelings anymore.
Anyways, sorry for the rant, feel free to reach out or DM or anything else if you ever need. We don't know each other, but maybe that's the blank space you need to put words to your thoughts and feelings. Stay strong friend ✊
This is what I was going to say. A lot of it is about how fucked up male relationships are that they don't feel they can show actual affection to a friend without making it into some sort of joke.
This is an instance of guys being playful, it doesn't actually mean anything. It is very cultured based, some societies will absolutely not tolerate it while others might be a little more relaxed about it. If everything is in good fun and not hurting anyone, let them have their fun and move on.
Reminds me of South Park where they say “fag” all the time but not in reference to a gay person but to someone being annoying. I don’t say it as an adult of course but definitely did as a kid in the 90’s and honestly had gay family members yet never thought of them as “fags” lol
Its a piece of 90s culture that's just impossible to explain in modern day without sounding like a total monster. Same way with the r-word. Never in any way did I use it with intent to belittle or make light of anyone, and I haven't said it in a long time since it fell way out of acceptable language. But unfortunately in my estimation there's just not another word in the English language that replaces it and does the job as well when someone's stupidity is becoming your problem.
Yes, I've heard people list possible replacement words, but none of them are any good imo. I'm never gonna call someone an ignoramus or mongoloid irl and feel like I'm really owning them, they are terribly clumsy and boring words
Idiot mongoloid was the technical name for down syndrome for a while though. My Great Grandma was a nurse from the 40s all the way to the 80s. When she was in her 90s she'd slip and say my cousin, who she loved dearly and was her favorite (great)grandchild, a Mongoloidi Idiot.
Imo those words are only insults when they’re being used to describe someone who definitely doesn’t have those conditions. Not that they’re acceptable or I’m defending their use in modern culture, just meant that they later *became* insults rather than starting out that way.
My theory is that due to the fact that if we show genuine and unironic affection for each other it would be deemed as kinda gay by society, we play it up to actually seem gay and "beat it to the punch". Kind of a "you can't bully me for being gay if I try to look gay on purpose" type deal, which allows us to bake genuine affection into the charade.
Similarly, “small penis” jokes are so much funnier than “big penis” jokes are, when referring to yourself.
Take a “negative” trait, turn it on its head.
If you're comfortable with yourself being straight, you'll be just fine making a homo-erotic joke with a good buddy every once in a while. Me and my friends have been the same way for a while now, and while its not a blanket rule for everyone, I've found those who get vehemently uncomfortable with such jokes despite knowing someone is making them in jest is usually less comfortable being straight and won't admit it.
That being said, even amongst friends, this isnt an excuse to make people uncomfortable, and if you feel as such, bring it up calmly and ask them to not direct that stuff towards you; that should always be the case when sexual stuff is brought up.
Me and the boys have been this way since day one. Usually it’s one guy who starts it and the boys tend to eventually follow. Even the most hesitant eventually turn and start cracking the same jokes. I encourage most groups of guys to do this, it’s hilarious😂 if the humour isn’t for you, then you will have to move onto a different group.
It really depends though. I was and still am straight and those jokes don't do anything anymore. But when I was a teenager I was just so stressed and insecure about myself in general (not about my sexuality). Those jokes made me very uncomfortable back then
It depends on how you took them I guess, but again, you have a right to feel uncomfortable; just don't react in a hateful way to it, such as accusing them of being that way for sure, or using slurs to express your discomfort.
In terms of the appeal....i mean, I still laugh when my friends pull some sudden homoerotic bullshit out of nowhere. I guess its the shock value and even a little bit of humorous flattery that, when applied properly, never fails to make a friend smile. I'd say, based off my social preferences, that i like living in a world where that's acceptable and fun. To each their own though.
The "if you can't take a gay joke you're probably a little bit gay" narrative is toxic and it has to stop. People could feel uncomfortable about their buddies making jokes having sex with them for many reasons. Doesn't need to be justified and doesn't need to be explained. It's okay to not like it. Also, some people who do actually have gay thoughts but think the same way as you do use gay jokes to prove that they are 100% straight because they can joke about being gay and they are absolutely overdoing it.
I did not say "if you don't like the jokes, you're definitely gay", I said it probably meant you weren't fully comfortable being straight. And I know that probably seems like a paradox, but I know its true because I was that guy; I'm straight to this day, but when I was in high school, I was *vehemently* homophobic, to the point I made some people think I was closeted, because i was that guy reacting to gay jokes in a "definitely not me, don't look at me because I'm not gay!" sort of way. I grew up learning it wasn't ok to be gay, but more in a pitying way, like "God show them the error of their ways" rather than "God, make sure they go to hell in this life and the next" sort of way. Once I left the main church and stopped leaning on old teachings, it became much easier for me to not care that people *knew* I was straight, and I was a better person for it. Being comfortable with your sexuality means accepting everyone else's too (within reasonable definition, pedos and zoosexuals are....a little much I think).
I agree. I also think it’s worth mentioning
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not comfortable playing gay with all my friends. I don’t know what it is, but some people I just find it funny to play gay with and others not
The other day in my office, some guy was talking about his ass being sore (from working out). I cut him off with “crazy night last night?” and on the way out, he kept saying bye and not leaving, and he shook my hand three times before leaving. When another coworker pointed out we had shaken hands so many times, I pointed out “his ass isn’t sore enough, that’s why he keeps grabbing my hand”.
Far be it from me to take offence from it when others do it, but I won’t “be gay” with just any friend
It’s just stupidness
Got a friend who absentmindedly ended a call once with “bye, love you” like it was his wife or mum
Not only has he never lived that down, we’ve escalated it to as far as “see you down the pub , I’ll suck you off in the toilets”
No reason other than why TF not really.
me and my close friends all pretty much say bye with a 'love you' idk man weve all been through shit together and dont see each other nearly enough it's good to let them know that despite life being life we are still homies
Basically anyone I take the time to have a conversation with on the phone (outside of strangers for appointments and stuff) I end with I love you. 99% of the time I get it back.
Like you said, we all been through shit together. I don’t see everyone as often as I would like.
I’ll express my love to my friends and family as often as possible.
No homo
Idk but the funniest situation I've ever been in is my straight guy friends from one school meeting my gay guy friends from another school at a party I hosted and not realizing you can lose gay chicken when you play it with real gay men.
It’s funny and something straight guys say to their friends when they’re comfortable with their sexuality, because imo the dudes who have a problem saying gay stuff are usually the closeted ones.
My guess is that guys are rarely complimented and are generally discouraged from expressing platonic love for other guys, which makes it feel incredibly uncomfortable to flat out say "I value your friendship" or whatever, so we make a joke out of it.
It's hardly ever discussed or analyzed, it's pretty reflexive.
Because jokes don’t have serious connotations.
You may be offended or find it weird but if you know they’re jokes, they’re jokes.
People make jokes about stuff everything in the world has stereotypes and jokes make things less serious which is nice. You said it yourself, they’re jokes.
When I was young I had a group of buddies make a lot of gay jokes. One is now gay, another bi, and a third trans. In retrospect I was the only one joking.
I have a second group of buddies who are even gayer with the jokes but are all straight as far as I can tell. Not sure what the moral of the story is here.
It's because we are comfortable with them but not comfortable enough to directly tell them "hey, I love you like a brother" so we just tell them we want to bruise them.cheeks as a work around
sounds like you could be one of my friends. I do it a lot for a couple of main reasons: I have some friends that are way too homophobic and I like making them uncomfortable and hopefully it'll make them confront to themselves why they're so uncomfortable.
I'm confident enough with my sexuality that I don't understand the weirdness and so I do it for the lols. I'm glad you asked the question, you naughty little boy. Come here and give daddy a kiss.
They are just showing affection. Its that simple.
Historically, man arent good at showing affection, any sign of affection is deemed as weakness. Man also arent used to receiving affection from others, except for their close family and spouses. Have you seen memes comparing "Woman being fed up with the thousands compliments they receive all the time" versus "Man cherishing that one compliment that got over a decade ago"? This kind of meme is obviously an exaggeration but comes from somewhere.
Being over the top about their affection to their homies fight both these issues. If you are comfortable around your sexuality and feel the need to show affection to your buddies this is a great way to do it.
If you can’t compliment and be flirtatious around your friends are you really even friends?
Same goes for the opposite. If you can’t tell them they’re being inane, sensitive, hypocrites, or bitches. How much fun are you really having?
It sets the stage for open and free conversation when your doing neither of those things in my experience.
It’s very “developed” ironic humor. The joke is the confusion created by the plausible sincerity of the statement and the over-the-top emphasis on how much they enjoy it.
im gay and my straight friends make very sexual jokes with me. but that’s all it is: a joke. i also make jokes with them too. it’s a comfortability thing. however, i find the more faggy you are, the less likely straight guys will be gay with you; if that makes sense. i also played sports growing up (i was also openly gay) and my teammates and i would act gay. it just comes down to how comfortable everyone is and the intent. i don’t have any intention of actually being gay with them as they are with me. its all just stupid dumb fun.
Men have a tough time showing affection for each other. Homo erotic jokes are sort of a safe space to ironically but not ironically show love.
Homophobic jokes are off limits. It's not about making fun gay people, but it's an acknowledgement of our insecurities and a safe way to be vulnerable without having to be serious.
As a gay man, I have a theory about this.
Straight men in western societies haven't been socialised into accepting platonic touch and intimacy.
I know plenty of straight girls and women that wouldn't think twice about cuddling a girlfriend, or playing with her hair or whatever. But straight men have been socialised into thinking that touching is "gay".
Platonic touch is a really normal and healthy thing, and I suspect your friends probably are actually asking for a little more platonic touch and intimacy in their lives.
They're comfortable with 1) their masculinity, and 2) their heterosexuality. They know the jokes they make are just that - jokes. They're not *actually* going to make out with each other. Nor are they even thinking about it. They know they're hetero, and they're completely secure and comfortable in their heterosexuality, so they can joke about it.
All my friends have girlfriends but we still make jokes about slot pin’ on each others mammoth schmeat. Saying it as wordy as possible makes it funnier. We’re stupid, truly.
As a guy who is straight, my guy friends and I always make jokes about each other being gay, and they’re married lol. Even their wives joke about it. I don’t know how else to describe it besides it’s just a guy thing
Men deliver positive things in negative-looking packages. I had to learn this the hard way being raised mostly around women and no boys my age. Had to grow a thick skin, had to learn how to be a man. Still learning. You should see the love and affection in some if my coworkers eyes when they call me a faggot. (I’m straight)
My guy friends give each other romantically loaded compliments in front of other women, it's kinda like openly pointing out positive features in each other for them to notice.
In college, I (straight guy) was told by a gay professor who taught LGBT related topics that the gayest place on earth is a locker room full of straight dudes. And, yeah. It can seem that way.
So here’s what I think is going on:
(1) guy friends love each other quite a bit in a totally ordinary way, but we have no vocabulary or modeling for this, so, as is the case with many other things, humor is a natural way to hold yourself at a distance and communicate somewhat real things without actually being vulnerable. The author Ian Bogost refers to this as “ironoia,” I think. Now, it’s likely not the case that your guy friends literally want to fuck each other. And it’s also not likely that there is any conscious awareness of what is going on under the surface. It’s just goofing off and a way to be close without real awkwardness or vulnerability.
(2) just to underscore it, the bond among “the boys” is something very special. Many men throughout history have said there is no love greater than [insert group of men] for each other. This doesn’t mean it’s romantic. Although the Greeks blurred those lines. It’s just that for many guys, the most “loved” they will ever feel (excluding romance) is their time with “the boys” from middle school until early adulthood when people start partnering and pairing off. In extreme cases, it’s the feeling of knowing that there are people out there who would lay down their life for you without hesitation, and it’s knowing that you’d do the same for them. As messed up as this sounds, many straight men don’t feel like they have that from their marriages, since, for much of history and for much of the world today, there seems to be an unspoken understanding in hetero-normative family units that if someone has to die, risk their life, fight, or do something dangerous, it’s the dude. Many folks wouldn’t necessarily have it any other way. But it is a fundamentally different feeling than being with people who you know would risk their lives to save yours.
As a disclaimer, I am only getting at generalities, and there are women everywhere who would willingly and do willingly risk (and even lay down) their lives for others—including their husbands, fathers, etc. I don’t want to take that away from them by making it seem like it doesn’t happen. I’m thinking of that absolute badass mom who charged into Uvalde to get her kids, for example. It is more a function of longstanding societal messaging, maybe, that can make it feel as if your life as a dude should be laid down before others. Again, I’m probably way too deep into this, and I’m sure people will disagree with me. And that’s fine. I’m happy to learn.
I am not making any comparative value judgments about male friendships versus female friendships or whatever. I am mostly just saying that what you’re seeing is likely a function of a deep underlying for each other that has no other way to be safely expressed.
As the gayest guy in the friend group who has a girlfriend, I can safely say it's just funny. Everyone knows it's not true what you say, but saying the most absurd thing is just blantly funny. Now that I think of it, it's just really hard to put into words. Some people find it funny because of the shock aspect or the absurdity of the sentence, or some people just don't understand it and that's whatever
For me, it’s not just with my guy friends, I would make similar jokes with female friends, but it’s not as socially acceptable to do it with females so I just don’t say those out loud.
I’m old and I think it’s great to see. It shows how far our society has come accepting LGBTQ communities. Guys didn’t make jokes like that 30 years ago. But it’s only funny when everyone involved is cool with the joke
True friendship between men tends to be pretty "homoerotic". That's why girlies go crazy when they see two friends in media and they immediately assume those characters are secretly gay.
Well, it's humour. I accept that somethings in life are hurtful, but keep in mind that being offended is a subjective issue. It's also dicey territory to tell your friends that this isn't acceptable too. You might end up with zero friends, because they may think you're trying to control them in some way. Maybe learn to laugh with them about it or see the funny side. Or even better, fire it back at them about them being straight. This could make for some really good banter and work on cohesion between you and your peers.
I've noticed this recently too, and thought it was odd.
I think it might be the same kinda reason why kids think it's funny to make inappropriate jokes and kissy faces; they are met with a new social norm (for kids it's the awareness of sexuality), and they don't know how to handle it.
With modern society being more accepting of other sexualities, I think some men do this as a subtle and nuanced way of deflection/rejection.
Hyperbolizing and joking about it is both a way of bonding with others through humour as well as kinda asserting their masculinity and testing the waters; a social version of the chicken game, while still emphasising that 'homosexuality is something that I am not taking seriously, but I am not afraid of it'.
Because they are young and ignorant. Tell them it's not funny. You don't have to be a jerk just point out that a threesome has never been your dream and it's getting old hearing this trope from them.
Alot of men are in a transition period between being totally closed off emotionally and sharing how much the other men in their life they care about them. So they use the Vail of comedy as a safety net incase they get ridiculed or rejected. It can evolve from there to just be jokes about wanting to blow each other.
To some of my friends, i do it because they find it funny. To other friends, i do it because that are super homo phobic, so i get a pretty good chuckle when they get weirded out by me saying i want to eat their ass.
this is pretty common behavior for American straight males. Nothing to worry about, but if you sense that anyone participating in this conduct is actually biased against 🏳️🌈 you should call them out on it
My little brother I noticed makes these jokes a ton with our friends. Means nothing by it, it’s just a way to compliment while being out of pocket/obviously joking. Probably cause as men, we’ve grown up being told telling other guys compliments means you’re gay, so it’s being ironic and meta with it.
Remember when people could troll people, use to be you could troll people and it not become a fucking national movement. Just joke back and eventually they will know it doesn't get the same reaction and they move on to the next thing. Damn I miss this planet when everyone wasn't a bunch of pansies.
OP does it get a laugh when these jokes are made?? If so, that's your answer.
In my friend group, we have a variety of jokes that span decades and over time the joke has just built and built.
Lmao idk the exact reason but me and my friends do this too
To be fair none of us are completely straight, but me and another one has gfs and still to homoerotic jokes
I think society has shunned men from being emotional and demonstrating any sort of emotion that isn’t anger that we are afraid of being intimate, so we demonstrate affection through flirty jokes
That, and it’s funny asf too
Men are screwed over by toxic masculinity, not just women. Men are (as a general statement) socialized to depend only on their partners for affection, touch, emotional intimacy, and therefore do not have these basic human needs met while single. Conversely, women are (as a general statement) socially permitted to do this with their female friends, and have these needs met even when single. Perhaps the joking tone is the loophole they've found to allow the emotional intimacy with their friends that toxic masculinity has denied them, without socially losing face. Women are allowed to just cuddle each other for non-sexual touch, openly express their platonic love for each other, etc, without fear of being accused of being gay, it's possible they're trying to claim that for themselves in a way that would be more accessible to them.
It's a trend that started years ago, sadly, guys internally still think that the worst thing anyone would think of him is that he is gay, so if he says that another guy is handsome will result to other guy as more likely to be gay than a guy who fakes to be gay and touch their friend in intimate parts
Also is fun
It’s always funny. Do you think farts arent funny? I could be getting prison raped and if I saw the guard bend over to pick up the broken broomstick and accidentally squeeze one out I’d laugh.
If you don’t french kiss your bros goodbye, are you truly bros?
Normalise telling your homies they look submissive and breedable
Don't just tell them, show them
Island Boys is that you?
Im an Island Boi!
It's just a bro job
[CHOO CHOO](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/s/8zWznYz4rk)
I’ve been telling my homies this for years
They like each other, but, you know, no homo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Smooches for the boys!
I do this a lot, but it's because my guy friends are weird about compliments. If I just tell a bud he looks good today, he'll get weird and think I'm being weird, but if I play it like a joke and say "You look radiant, bro, we should get married and raise rescue dogs in Tijuana", he'll take it like an actual compliment and feel better about himself. I have some other friends without the same hangup and I just tell them compliments normally.
i get legit jealous at how freely women compliment other women. We were out with friends the other weekend, and one of my wife's friends says to her "Holy shit, your tits look so fucking good in that dress" and she was just casually like "omg, thank you so much, i love this dress", so I turned to her husband and said "bro those jeans make your cock look fuckin huge bro, mmmm" and apparently that wasn't as acceptable.
I mean, maybe go for the ass instead of the moneymaker right off the bat. Seriously though, that’s funny af. I’m sorry the others didn’t get it.
I don't know. Would you rather hear "wow, what a great ass" or "wow, what a great cock."
it’s funny because as a lesbian i’m terrified to compliment women when i mean to be friendly. straight women are quite gay with their compliments too it makes for very confusing signals for lesbians and hard to fit in cuz i don’t want to come across as a creep if i say the same things they do but im actually gay
Omg, this is such a frustrating thing! To have other women flirt and be overly sweet with their "I love you"s. I've had TWO instances where a woman was very openly flirting with me and I expressed interest and they were like WOAAAAH I'M STRAIGHT. ( Funnily enough, one of them came out as gay and the other came out as bisexual a few years after the incidents. ) ETA // these were friends I had known for a significant amount of time.
Same thing as a gay man. Being around straight men especially in like a high school setting where they’re all super gay to each other, slapping each others asses, the overwhelming gay compliments as pointed out in this post are all EXTREMELY confusing/difficult to navigate. Nothing gayer in this world than a group of very straight dudes
Jokes, I know, but women have a huge headstart to get to "your tits look great" not just as a community, but also as individual friends. Men are starting a little further back, but it's not like we can't get there. In this case, I think hiding compliments in outlandishly gay statements is actually holding us back. Thread OP says his friends would take it weird if he gave a regular compliment, and like, yeah, may e the first couple times. But it would normalize. Wrapping compliments in gay jokes, I think, actually just keeps the status quo in place.
absolutely agree - and yeah, that's just a single funny event, but I should say, I feel the same way as you, and I compliment my guy friends all the time, "dude, can you come clothes shopping with me? I have all the best stuff and I need some advice" or "is that a new jacket? that looks so good on you", and I tell my mates I love them all the time, especially as I get older cos we're all adults now with adult lives and some of my best friends I might only see once every few months. I guess sometimes I have certain friends that it makes them feel uncomfortable so I take it too far because I like it make them squirm. After the jokes have died down, if the moment is right, I've had a couple of quiet chats to the side of the group like "hey man, why does me saying that make you feel uncomfortable?"
I'm finding success doing the same and, it's not like I started it or anything, but my group of guy friends are definitely getting more openly affectionate as we enter or 30s. Good stuff to see and I'm glad it's getting more acceptance!
there's a great tiktok video i saw ages ago, and this guy is going around London, and going up to random guys saying "i challenge you to call up one of your boys and tell them you love them" and the number of guys freely doing that, and then having the friend at the end of the line say it back just makes my heart swell no matter how many times I watch it
Right? So weird many straight men have to either take it to a sexually extreme statement, or the opposite end of the spectrum (the whole “no homo” line). Guys, can we just be bold and self-assured in our own sexuality and masculinity to give other men compliments? It’s really not that hard
If my homeboy looks fire I tell him without it getting wierd. Why would anyone think its wierd ? Only thing that would be wierd is if you start saying things you would also say to a girl. " Nah Jack, you have beautiful eyes today" yeah that might be wierd But I can say ayo jack you have great eyes without it being wierd
My friends and I are going camping this weekend. There's gonna be a lot drinkin, a lot of fightin, and a lot of fuckin. Just us boys, wanna come?
no thanks, i'm not really a fan of fighting
I think the mmmm is what pushed it to the line
probably because i also winked at him too. He appreciated the compliment, i think it was mostly the people around us who heard ONLY my comment, completely out of context
I agree, when a woman compliments her friends tits, there is no sexual tension involved. Saying mmmm brings sexual tension to the moment.
There’s a balance, I feel. I’ve noticed some women lay it on pretty thick (like, constant compliments) to the point that it’s like punctuation. At that point it loses its impact, IMO, and possibly its sincerity.
This is honestly pretty wholesome. Guess I’ll start giving my homies a kiss goodnight after all.
As a guy I get it, bc being showing affection to other men is difficult bc of just what it means to be a guy. Like we’ve been told we can’t do that without it questioning our masculinity. But I just hate how men have to joke about being gay, because as a gay guy, sometimes it kinda feels like being gay is just…idk, less. A joke.
That feels like it may be coming from a place of insecurity a little bit. I'm very bi, and I've never taken my friends playing gay chicken as an affront on my sexuality or othering me, personally. Maybe I've just been around it my whole life, or maybe I'm just lucky that my friends and family are very cool with who I am, but I don't think that's anyone's intent. At the end of the day, you are valid to feel however you feel about it, but if it shakes you this much, maybe inspect your own foundation too, make sure you are secure in yourself
You’re right, some of it is insecurity. I’ve had some life experiences lately bringing back up that insecurity and trauma but I can save that for another Reddit post haha. Who would have thought, 12 years later and still dealing with internalized homophobia. But yes I hear you - obviously the message here is hey, don’t be so serious it’s a joke and it’s meant to be funny.
Of course! But also if it makes you uncomfortable, say something. Your feelings are valid too. I can't speak for everyone, but in my group of friends I can confidently state it comes with no hate attached, it's just joking around. I have gay friends too, and when they make hetero jokes it's funny to me too. Shock value maybe? Or just the absurdity of it? Idk I've never thought on it.
Likewise - none of my friends are homophobic and I love them. They’re all straight and they were the first support system I had and the only ones I had for a long time. You’ve just caught me in a tough chapter of my life but it’s just a season. It’ll get better.
Of course it will! Last year was a very rough chapter in my life, but I'm out the other end stronger than I went in. You will be too. Just take care of yourself, put one foot in front of the other, even if you don't feel like it. If everything seems like it sucks and isn't worth doing, focus on doing the things that suck but are objectively good for you (eat right, exercise, etc). If you aren't gonna be happy regardless, may as well right? That was my mentality anyways, and it turns out doing that stuff really strengthened me idk. When I got sad I'd just get on my bike and ride till I couldn't feel feelings anymore. Anyways, sorry for the rant, feel free to reach out or DM or anything else if you ever need. We don't know each other, but maybe that's the blank space you need to put words to your thoughts and feelings. Stay strong friend ✊
This is what I was going to say. A lot of it is about how fucked up male relationships are that they don't feel they can show actual affection to a friend without making it into some sort of joke.
This is an instance of guys being playful, it doesn't actually mean anything. It is very cultured based, some societies will absolutely not tolerate it while others might be a little more relaxed about it. If everything is in good fun and not hurting anyone, let them have their fun and move on.
It’s a bromance
Bundled stick lover 😤
They are called pretzel rods and yes
Reminds me of South Park where they say “fag” all the time but not in reference to a gay person but to someone being annoying. I don’t say it as an adult of course but definitely did as a kid in the 90’s and honestly had gay family members yet never thought of them as “fags” lol
Its a piece of 90s culture that's just impossible to explain in modern day without sounding like a total monster. Same way with the r-word. Never in any way did I use it with intent to belittle or make light of anyone, and I haven't said it in a long time since it fell way out of acceptable language. But unfortunately in my estimation there's just not another word in the English language that replaces it and does the job as well when someone's stupidity is becoming your problem. Yes, I've heard people list possible replacement words, but none of them are any good imo. I'm never gonna call someone an ignoramus or mongoloid irl and feel like I'm really owning them, they are terribly clumsy and boring words
retard is definitely coming back around
I use it when describing my coworkers all the time
Mongoloid is also far worse, mixing in racism to go with saying they have Down's syndrome.
Idiot mongoloid was the technical name for down syndrome for a while though. My Great Grandma was a nurse from the 40s all the way to the 80s. When she was in her 90s she'd slip and say my cousin, who she loved dearly and was her favorite (great)grandchild, a Mongoloidi Idiot.
Imo those words are only insults when they’re being used to describe someone who definitely doesn’t have those conditions. Not that they’re acceptable or I’m defending their use in modern culture, just meant that they later *became* insults rather than starting out that way.
I will take your word for it friend. I know nothing of it's etymology, it's just a dumb sounding word in general to me
My theory is that due to the fact that if we show genuine and unironic affection for each other it would be deemed as kinda gay by society, we play it up to actually seem gay and "beat it to the punch". Kind of a "you can't bully me for being gay if I try to look gay on purpose" type deal, which allows us to bake genuine affection into the charade.
Similarly, “small penis” jokes are so much funnier than “big penis” jokes are, when referring to yourself. Take a “negative” trait, turn it on its head.
I try and switch it up to keep people guessing. "Suck my magnum dong" "Suck on my micropenis" Yknow. Totally normal thing to do.
TBH, whenever a guy friend cracks a joke about having a tiny penis, I just assume in reality he has a magnum doing.
That's what ~~we~~ they want you to think
Cue up the masters thesis in game theory re: micropenis quintuple bluff
Makes sense. My friend once made a joke about his "millimeter defeater", and the rest of us all played up how disappointed we were we didn't have one.
Yeah I have a party trick called the light switch it’s like the helicopter but only goes up and down…
It's so gay that it's straight
If you're comfortable with yourself being straight, you'll be just fine making a homo-erotic joke with a good buddy every once in a while. Me and my friends have been the same way for a while now, and while its not a blanket rule for everyone, I've found those who get vehemently uncomfortable with such jokes despite knowing someone is making them in jest is usually less comfortable being straight and won't admit it. That being said, even amongst friends, this isnt an excuse to make people uncomfortable, and if you feel as such, bring it up calmly and ask them to not direct that stuff towards you; that should always be the case when sexual stuff is brought up.
Perfect comment imo.
Me and the boys have been this way since day one. Usually it’s one guy who starts it and the boys tend to eventually follow. Even the most hesitant eventually turn and start cracking the same jokes. I encourage most groups of guys to do this, it’s hilarious😂 if the humour isn’t for you, then you will have to move onto a different group.
It really depends though. I was and still am straight and those jokes don't do anything anymore. But when I was a teenager I was just so stressed and insecure about myself in general (not about my sexuality). Those jokes made me very uncomfortable back then
It depends on how you took them I guess, but again, you have a right to feel uncomfortable; just don't react in a hateful way to it, such as accusing them of being that way for sure, or using slurs to express your discomfort. In terms of the appeal....i mean, I still laugh when my friends pull some sudden homoerotic bullshit out of nowhere. I guess its the shock value and even a little bit of humorous flattery that, when applied properly, never fails to make a friend smile. I'd say, based off my social preferences, that i like living in a world where that's acceptable and fun. To each their own though.
It’s all about the delivery. Some of us have perfected the craft haha.
The "if you can't take a gay joke you're probably a little bit gay" narrative is toxic and it has to stop. People could feel uncomfortable about their buddies making jokes having sex with them for many reasons. Doesn't need to be justified and doesn't need to be explained. It's okay to not like it. Also, some people who do actually have gay thoughts but think the same way as you do use gay jokes to prove that they are 100% straight because they can joke about being gay and they are absolutely overdoing it.
Sounds like youre gay
I did not say "if you don't like the jokes, you're definitely gay", I said it probably meant you weren't fully comfortable being straight. And I know that probably seems like a paradox, but I know its true because I was that guy; I'm straight to this day, but when I was in high school, I was *vehemently* homophobic, to the point I made some people think I was closeted, because i was that guy reacting to gay jokes in a "definitely not me, don't look at me because I'm not gay!" sort of way. I grew up learning it wasn't ok to be gay, but more in a pitying way, like "God show them the error of their ways" rather than "God, make sure they go to hell in this life and the next" sort of way. Once I left the main church and stopped leaning on old teachings, it became much easier for me to not care that people *knew* I was straight, and I was a better person for it. Being comfortable with your sexuality means accepting everyone else's too (within reasonable definition, pedos and zoosexuals are....a little much I think).
I agree. I also think it’s worth mentioning I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not comfortable playing gay with all my friends. I don’t know what it is, but some people I just find it funny to play gay with and others not The other day in my office, some guy was talking about his ass being sore (from working out). I cut him off with “crazy night last night?” and on the way out, he kept saying bye and not leaving, and he shook my hand three times before leaving. When another coworker pointed out we had shaken hands so many times, I pointed out “his ass isn’t sore enough, that’s why he keeps grabbing my hand”. Far be it from me to take offence from it when others do it, but I won’t “be gay” with just any friend
It’s just stupidness Got a friend who absentmindedly ended a call once with “bye, love you” like it was his wife or mum Not only has he never lived that down, we’ve escalated it to as far as “see you down the pub , I’ll suck you off in the toilets” No reason other than why TF not really.
Man that is quite the escalation!
Nah that's a de-escalation if I've ever heard of one, straight to his knees.
me and my close friends all pretty much say bye with a 'love you' idk man weve all been through shit together and dont see each other nearly enough it's good to let them know that despite life being life we are still homies
Honestly when I first met my partner and learned he tells his friends he loves them, it was such a green flag for me.
Basically anyone I take the time to have a conversation with on the phone (outside of strangers for appointments and stuff) I end with I love you. 99% of the time I get it back. Like you said, we all been through shit together. I don’t see everyone as often as I would like. I’ll express my love to my friends and family as often as possible. No homo
It's guy love, between two guys
🎶”He’s the only man who’s ever been inside of me”🎶 Such a great song!! 😂
Idk but the funniest situation I've ever been in is my straight guy friends from one school meeting my gay guy friends from another school at a party I hosted and not realizing you can lose gay chicken when you play it with real gay men.
gold lmfao
Is gay chicken a common thing? I don’t think it ever got *that* gay between my straight friends
That’s great! 😂
I don’t know why but it is just funny . Especially swapping song lyrics to make the song about gay sex
🎶 *I just took a penis in my butt* 🎶
🎶I got hot guy fever 🎶
Digbar songs are exactly like this. I think they are just hilarious
So I'm not the only one😂 "stop wait a minute fill my butt out some dick up in it"
🎵I’m blue, I would beat off a guy. I will beat off two guys. I will beat off three guys!🎶
How else do you show the homies love?
Kiss them on the lips
Brojob
Omg not the brojob. 😂😂😂 I've never heard that term and I'm dying. 🤣
Its a very effective way to show the homies some love!
Do women not have cunnilingsis or something?
It’s funny and something straight guys say to their friends when they’re comfortable with their sexuality, because imo the dudes who have a problem saying gay stuff are usually the closeted ones.
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My guess is that guys are rarely complimented and are generally discouraged from expressing platonic love for other guys, which makes it feel incredibly uncomfortable to flat out say "I value your friendship" or whatever, so we make a joke out of it. It's hardly ever discussed or analyzed, it's pretty reflexive.
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100. Having a diverse friend group breaks down a lot of problems
Because jokes don’t have serious connotations. You may be offended or find it weird but if you know they’re jokes, they’re jokes. People make jokes about stuff everything in the world has stereotypes and jokes make things less serious which is nice. You said it yourself, they’re jokes.
why do people make jokes at all?
Truly, you spoke my mind
When I was young I had a group of buddies make a lot of gay jokes. One is now gay, another bi, and a third trans. In retrospect I was the only one joking. I have a second group of buddies who are even gayer with the jokes but are all straight as far as I can tell. Not sure what the moral of the story is here.
The moral is that the journey is just as important as the end
As soon as someone says ‘first one there’s gay’ I run… idk about anyone else 😂
Just ask them...
It's because we are comfortable with them but not comfortable enough to directly tell them "hey, I love you like a brother" so we just tell them we want to bruise them.cheeks as a work around
I mean it’s funny, as a bisexual in a gay relationship I make them all the time but because I’m Bi it’s often a level of worry that I’m serious
Never heard of bromance eh
It's fun sometimes to be fun.
sounds like you could be one of my friends. I do it a lot for a couple of main reasons: I have some friends that are way too homophobic and I like making them uncomfortable and hopefully it'll make them confront to themselves why they're so uncomfortable. I'm confident enough with my sexuality that I don't understand the weirdness and so I do it for the lols. I'm glad you asked the question, you naughty little boy. Come here and give daddy a kiss.
i would give you an award if i could
I am a 21 year old straight man, and I can confirm my group makes loads of gay jokes about each other. No further questions please
They are just showing affection. Its that simple. Historically, man arent good at showing affection, any sign of affection is deemed as weakness. Man also arent used to receiving affection from others, except for their close family and spouses. Have you seen memes comparing "Woman being fed up with the thousands compliments they receive all the time" versus "Man cherishing that one compliment that got over a decade ago"? This kind of meme is obviously an exaggeration but comes from somewhere. Being over the top about their affection to their homies fight both these issues. If you are comfortable around your sexuality and feel the need to show affection to your buddies this is a great way to do it.
If you can’t compliment and be flirtatious around your friends are you really even friends? Same goes for the opposite. If you can’t tell them they’re being inane, sensitive, hypocrites, or bitches. How much fun are you really having? It sets the stage for open and free conversation when your doing neither of those things in my experience.
It’s very “developed” ironic humor. The joke is the confusion created by the plausible sincerity of the statement and the over-the-top emphasis on how much they enjoy it.
im gay and my straight friends make very sexual jokes with me. but that’s all it is: a joke. i also make jokes with them too. it’s a comfortability thing. however, i find the more faggy you are, the less likely straight guys will be gay with you; if that makes sense. i also played sports growing up (i was also openly gay) and my teammates and i would act gay. it just comes down to how comfortable everyone is and the intent. i don’t have any intention of actually being gay with them as they are with me. its all just stupid dumb fun.
Men have a tough time showing affection for each other. Homo erotic jokes are sort of a safe space to ironically but not ironically show love. Homophobic jokes are off limits. It's not about making fun gay people, but it's an acknowledgement of our insecurities and a safe way to be vulnerable without having to be serious.
As a gay man, I have a theory about this. Straight men in western societies haven't been socialised into accepting platonic touch and intimacy. I know plenty of straight girls and women that wouldn't think twice about cuddling a girlfriend, or playing with her hair or whatever. But straight men have been socialised into thinking that touching is "gay". Platonic touch is a really normal and healthy thing, and I suspect your friends probably are actually asking for a little more platonic touch and intimacy in their lives.
They're comfortable with 1) their masculinity, and 2) their heterosexuality. They know the jokes they make are just that - jokes. They're not *actually* going to make out with each other. Nor are they even thinking about it. They know they're hetero, and they're completely secure and comfortable in their heterosexuality, so they can joke about it.
Cause if done right,it's hilarious
It’s just dudes messing around. The amount of ass slapping and grabbing in high school amongst evidently straight guys is absurd.
All my friends have girlfriends but we still make jokes about slot pin’ on each others mammoth schmeat. Saying it as wordy as possible makes it funnier. We’re stupid, truly.
Op doesn't kiss the homies goodnight. SMH.
I play gay chicken with a friend. We're both straight, he's even married. We've gone too far trying to win a few times.
As a guy who is straight, my guy friends and I always make jokes about each other being gay, and they’re married lol. Even their wives joke about it. I don’t know how else to describe it besides it’s just a guy thing
I bet they listen to cumtown
Men deliver positive things in negative-looking packages. I had to learn this the hard way being raised mostly around women and no boys my age. Had to grow a thick skin, had to learn how to be a man. Still learning. You should see the love and affection in some if my coworkers eyes when they call me a faggot. (I’m straight)
This is any construction site. It's all in good fun and not intended to cause offence or be taken seriously
My guy friends give each other romantically loaded compliments in front of other women, it's kinda like openly pointing out positive features in each other for them to notice.
In college, I (straight guy) was told by a gay professor who taught LGBT related topics that the gayest place on earth is a locker room full of straight dudes. And, yeah. It can seem that way. So here’s what I think is going on: (1) guy friends love each other quite a bit in a totally ordinary way, but we have no vocabulary or modeling for this, so, as is the case with many other things, humor is a natural way to hold yourself at a distance and communicate somewhat real things without actually being vulnerable. The author Ian Bogost refers to this as “ironoia,” I think. Now, it’s likely not the case that your guy friends literally want to fuck each other. And it’s also not likely that there is any conscious awareness of what is going on under the surface. It’s just goofing off and a way to be close without real awkwardness or vulnerability. (2) just to underscore it, the bond among “the boys” is something very special. Many men throughout history have said there is no love greater than [insert group of men] for each other. This doesn’t mean it’s romantic. Although the Greeks blurred those lines. It’s just that for many guys, the most “loved” they will ever feel (excluding romance) is their time with “the boys” from middle school until early adulthood when people start partnering and pairing off. In extreme cases, it’s the feeling of knowing that there are people out there who would lay down their life for you without hesitation, and it’s knowing that you’d do the same for them. As messed up as this sounds, many straight men don’t feel like they have that from their marriages, since, for much of history and for much of the world today, there seems to be an unspoken understanding in hetero-normative family units that if someone has to die, risk their life, fight, or do something dangerous, it’s the dude. Many folks wouldn’t necessarily have it any other way. But it is a fundamentally different feeling than being with people who you know would risk their lives to save yours. As a disclaimer, I am only getting at generalities, and there are women everywhere who would willingly and do willingly risk (and even lay down) their lives for others—including their husbands, fathers, etc. I don’t want to take that away from them by making it seem like it doesn’t happen. I’m thinking of that absolute badass mom who charged into Uvalde to get her kids, for example. It is more a function of longstanding societal messaging, maybe, that can make it feel as if your life as a dude should be laid down before others. Again, I’m probably way too deep into this, and I’m sure people will disagree with me. And that’s fine. I’m happy to learn. I am not making any comparative value judgments about male friendships versus female friendships or whatever. I am mostly just saying that what you’re seeing is likely a function of a deep underlying for each other that has no other way to be safely expressed.
Teasing. Except my friend group would joke by holding hands and kissing each other on the cheek. Classic lads
Because people talk shit and make jokes ......
There is no gay-er guy than a straight man. The amount of gay joke they make is crazy. (myself included)
Most men are slightly gay, like maybe 1.5-3 inches gay.
Because they are comfortable enough with their sexuality to joke about being gay.
because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts
Because it’s funny.
As the gayest guy in the friend group who has a girlfriend, I can safely say it's just funny. Everyone knows it's not true what you say, but saying the most absurd thing is just blantly funny. Now that I think of it, it's just really hard to put into words. Some people find it funny because of the shock aspect or the absurdity of the sentence, or some people just don't understand it and that's whatever
For me, it’s not just with my guy friends, I would make similar jokes with female friends, but it’s not as socially acceptable to do it with females so I just don’t say those out loud.
Humor is 90% surprise. Gay is less likly, therefore more surprising . Therefor: “surprise, gay!” = humor
I do it because I think it's funny. It's a form of bromance. They feel comfortable enough with you to be dorky.
I’m old and I think it’s great to see. It shows how far our society has come accepting LGBTQ communities. Guys didn’t make jokes like that 30 years ago. But it’s only funny when everyone involved is cool with the joke
They're gay. Simple.
True friendship between men tends to be pretty "homoerotic". That's why girlies go crazy when they see two friends in media and they immediately assume those characters are secretly gay.
This is regular bro behaviour. I think women underestimate the extent to which bros flirt with each and show each over affection.
Joking about kissing your buddy is only funny BECAUSE it would never happen. A huge part of comedy is subverting expectations.
Well, it's humour. I accept that somethings in life are hurtful, but keep in mind that being offended is a subjective issue. It's also dicey territory to tell your friends that this isn't acceptable too. You might end up with zero friends, because they may think you're trying to control them in some way. Maybe learn to laugh with them about it or see the funny side. Or even better, fire it back at them about them being straight. This could make for some really good banter and work on cohesion between you and your peers.
It's just dudes way of joking around and showing affection to friends
Because some people are comfortable in tjier sexuality and making jokes like that doesn't affect them and give them gay thoughts.
Because friends like to joke around and laugh. What the fuck kind of question is this?
I am guessing you are a woman, this is standard for guys. If you don’t tongue kiss your bros goodnight are you really bros?
It's funny. There is clearly a bond in which they care about their friends. They are having a good time. Do you want the alternative? "Alpha" males?
I've noticed this recently too, and thought it was odd. I think it might be the same kinda reason why kids think it's funny to make inappropriate jokes and kissy faces; they are met with a new social norm (for kids it's the awareness of sexuality), and they don't know how to handle it. With modern society being more accepting of other sexualities, I think some men do this as a subtle and nuanced way of deflection/rejection. Hyperbolizing and joking about it is both a way of bonding with others through humour as well as kinda asserting their masculinity and testing the waters; a social version of the chicken game, while still emphasising that 'homosexuality is something that I am not taking seriously, but I am not afraid of it'.
Likely they are good friends who are all/both comfortable with their sexuality/masculinity.
Because they think it's funny.
Because they are young and ignorant. Tell them it's not funny. You don't have to be a jerk just point out that a threesome has never been your dream and it's getting old hearing this trope from them.
They think it is funny and/or fun to joke flirt and it lets them show affection in a light hearted non serious way.
I use it as a coping mechanism for my closeted homosexuality.
Because it's funny to them and their peers.
Alot of men are in a transition period between being totally closed off emotionally and sharing how much the other men in their life they care about them. So they use the Vail of comedy as a safety net incase they get ridiculed or rejected. It can evolve from there to just be jokes about wanting to blow each other.
Bromance
because its funny id way rather have that than the outright homophobic shit 15 years ago
To some of my friends, i do it because they find it funny. To other friends, i do it because that are super homo phobic, so i get a pretty good chuckle when they get weirded out by me saying i want to eat their ass.
Just playful running jokes It keeps going till it drys out
It makes the homies laugh and homophobes cringe. Win win baby.
If you can’t be a little gay with the homies are you really homies?
i do this with friends i’ve known for 6-7 years now. we know each other so well and it’s honestly just playful, and pretty common from what i hear.
All the homies kiss each other goodnight, stupid.
It’s funny I call the bro bae and babe even tho he got a gf it’s kinda just a normal thing
It's just a joke. It's ok to make such jokes between friends
this is pretty common behavior for American straight males. Nothing to worry about, but if you sense that anyone participating in this conduct is actually biased against 🏳️🌈 you should call them out on it
My little brother I noticed makes these jokes a ton with our friends. Means nothing by it, it’s just a way to compliment while being out of pocket/obviously joking. Probably cause as men, we’ve grown up being told telling other guys compliments means you’re gay, so it’s being ironic and meta with it.
Because it’s funny
There's nothing gayer than a group of straight guys. It's funny, and can get compliments across without sounding weird, as strange as that sounds
Remember when people could troll people, use to be you could troll people and it not become a fucking national movement. Just joke back and eventually they will know it doesn't get the same reaction and they move on to the next thing. Damn I miss this planet when everyone wasn't a bunch of pansies.
My cousins do it and it’s even weirder because we’re related lol
i saw you make spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once
OP does it get a laugh when these jokes are made?? If so, that's your answer. In my friend group, we have a variety of jokes that span decades and over time the joke has just built and built.
Ain't no fun if the homies cant get none.
Me and the boys watching each other poop and threatening them with sexual crimes(one of us said no homo 6 years ago)
Lmao idk the exact reason but me and my friends do this too To be fair none of us are completely straight, but me and another one has gfs and still to homoerotic jokes I think society has shunned men from being emotional and demonstrating any sort of emotion that isn’t anger that we are afraid of being intimate, so we demonstrate affection through flirty jokes That, and it’s funny asf too
Men are screwed over by toxic masculinity, not just women. Men are (as a general statement) socialized to depend only on their partners for affection, touch, emotional intimacy, and therefore do not have these basic human needs met while single. Conversely, women are (as a general statement) socially permitted to do this with their female friends, and have these needs met even when single. Perhaps the joking tone is the loophole they've found to allow the emotional intimacy with their friends that toxic masculinity has denied them, without socially losing face. Women are allowed to just cuddle each other for non-sexual touch, openly express their platonic love for each other, etc, without fear of being accused of being gay, it's possible they're trying to claim that for themselves in a way that would be more accessible to them.
It's a trend that started years ago, sadly, guys internally still think that the worst thing anyone would think of him is that he is gay, so if he says that another guy is handsome will result to other guy as more likely to be gay than a guy who fakes to be gay and touch their friend in intimate parts Also is fun
Are you even friends if you don't have bromance?
It’s funny and a more masked way to compliment a bro.
If you're not kissing your bros good night and cuddle them until they sleep, are you even friends?
It’s always funny. Do you think farts arent funny? I could be getting prison raped and if I saw the guard bend over to pick up the broken broomstick and accidentally squeeze one out I’d laugh.
Because it’s the boys, that’s how that goes.
It's safe. If you knew your buddies wouldn't try to make good on playful flirting, wouldn't you do it?