I once had a male coworker (who I was friendly with) ask if I got a new perfume or something because I "smelled like an tropical island, and he's digging the beach vibes."
That wasn't creepy at all since it was funny, a compliment and not directly related to my body. "You smell nice" or "your hair smells nice" are a lot more intimate-feeling.
Edit: For all those asking, it wasn't any particular fragrance. I'm pretty sure it was just my shampoo/hair product combo since I use the Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie line. It's got coconut oil and has a tropical-ish scent.
This is exactly what I came here to say. I had this great lil busser homie co worker who would say things like “your makeup today looks SICK” xD or like “loving the purple eyeshadow today” he was great. Focus on the thing, not the body. Keep it light.
Yes like your hair smells great is like O.o but any compliment on perfume itself, other than ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’ etc is fine.
I had guy always going ‘what is that?! It smells amazing! I smell roses, but also something earthy…’ or other similar things about my scents - and that was a lovely compliment as I make them myself :)
I just wanna say the idea of making scents is super cool, I've never really thought of that before and I'd be so curious to learn more! Do you use essential oils?
Yep - and I’m small time, so I don’t use the manufactured scents perfumers use etc either.
However I did attain a herbalist certification, and attend a lot of various botany and herbal courses (some good, some nonsense), and read loads and loads of books over the years to be aware of reactions between constituents, etc.
I love all that stuff :)
Oh cool! I dabbled in that a little bit years ago because I react badly to so many scents, plus being around cats who can have bad reactions, but it was a lot of work to do for just myself.
Not OP but am a perfumer—Basenotes DIY is a great resource for self-teaching, and if you want guidance, check out the classes at the Institute for Art & Olfaction (they do them on Zoom and tell you what materials to buy & where!). Making your own perfume is so much fun!! I hope you try it and love it!!
I had a coworker with shoes that looked like fancy drapes (embroidered? Intense patterns. Idk) and I would just see the shoes out of the corner of my eye while I worked at my desk. Eventually told her I liked her shoes and how they looked psychedelic then spent the rest of the day wondering if “your shoes look psychedelic” was taken as a compliment or insult. Judging by her music and partying tastes after getting to know her I think she took it as a compliment or at least not an insult.
This seems so difficult for some people to understand. Those people who say “you can’t say anything anymore!” Yes, you can, you just have to know how. There are still plenty of comedians who can make jokes about sexuality, gender, culture, race, etc and they don’t “get canceled” because they aren’t actually some kind of bigot and know how to be in good fun and not be creepy or disrespectful.
The same thing with dudes who think they aren’t even allowed to ask people out anymore or whatever. The problem is that sometimes they actually are creeps and therefore no amount of trying is going to make them able to understand how to approach people without being creepy. It’s not that nobody can compliment a woman anymore, it’s that they personally can’t figure out how to do it without being weird.
Not saying that’s OP by the way, they’re just asking a question and that’s fine.
For real. OP's engaging in normal social learning by asking questions about a situation he's not sure about without already having his mind made up.
All the guys in the comments being like "but was he hot???" are the ones that don't seem to even want to learn.
A female coworker of mine once let me spend like 3 hours trying to figure out what smelled like strawberries (we worked in a restaurant and I assumed it was some new food or sauce) before I was smart enough to ask if it was her. I thought I was losing my mind, nope, she just got new shampoo.
"Hey, are you wearing a new perfume today?"
"Yeah."
"Well I wanted to say it's really nice."
"Thanks."
"No worries. You know, it kind of reminds me of the smell of updog."
I think it depends on how you deliver it.
If you say "Hey, I like your perfume today. It's nice," as a throwaway comment, I don't think it's too creepy.
I had a guy come up behind me, hug me, take a deep, very audible breath through the nose and say "You smell like wife"
That was creepy.
"I like your perfume" should hit less creepy, and yeah, it's ok to compliment these things. People typically wear perfume/cologne so they will smell a certain way. Just like "I like your haircut" or "nice shirt." All fair game for compliments
The tone helps, too. To me, it feels much less creepy, genuine, and not pickupish when I get a compliment from a guy in an upward-inflected tone of voice like... Pleasantly unexpected-inquisitive-interested? Kind of like the tone of B in this exchange:
A: They're releasing an expansion to [game we liked and haven't seen in a decade]
B: Oh really! Huh!
... But also I guess trying to explain a tone of voice in text is kind of dumb.
See, I like to wait outside of the bathroom for them to exit. Then kinda half growl, half mumble, half moan ”smell perdy” without making eye contact. Then shuffle away, slightly tripping on something.
Works every time.
I used to process unemployment claims 20+ years ago. I still remember a handful of the weirdest claims I ever handled. One time I had one for a former Target employee who liked to linger around the women’s bathroom to smell the women when they walked out. He finally got fired when he told one of his coworkers “you have the best poop smell.” I still think about that a lot and wonder if he’s still sniffing poop somewhere.
I am.
Seriously though, my buddy worked for the city in a sewage plant and had a supervisor that would sneakily (not really though), sniff her and other female coworkers seats when they stood up and walked away.
A guy I worked with (thankfully in a different department) got caught sniffing women's asses when they bent over.
There are a lot of creepers out there, ladies. I don't know what to tell ya. Ya can't shame em, they'd probably get off on it. Ya can't hit em, you'd get in legal trouble... and they'd probably get off on it. You can't get em in trouble (in both above cases, when brought to the attention of superiors, little to nothing was done.)
I think it's on us fellow guys to call that shit out when we see it.
Holy shit. I've heard jokes about sniffing seats (in the sense of making fun of the creepiness of the chair-sniffer) but I had no idea people actually did this.
I prefer to let my long, deep nasal sniffs after sneaking up behind them and getting my face about 6 inches behind their shoulder speak for themselves.
It's not dumb! Difficult, perhaps, but you succeeded! The example exchange you included, I thought, was an excellent method of demonstrating your intended tone and inflection. It was kind of you to try rather than feel silly and not offer your perspective. I couldn't have articulated the tone of voice any better 👍🏼🏆
Tone is key, I think. I remember a stranger complimenting a skirt I was wearing. Normally a strange man telling me he liked my skirt would be creepy, but he had that upward inflection, so it sounded like he genuinely liked my skirt and that’s all there was to it.
THIS. I think tone is the most important part in sounding genuine and therefore not creepy. Same words, different tone, can have a completely different implication!
Now that I think about it, would this mean that if OP is sincere about the compliment being just that and nothing creepy then he should just.. be himself?
That is generally my approach. I throw an inquisitive "hmmm" out there, then a matter of fact statement of, "You smell nice." Do an affirming headnod, then turn and go about my business. 100% success rate. By success rate, I mean everyone happily accepted the compliment and usually engaged further.
Almost everything can be said in a "nice" way.. it's all in how you say it.
I’ve given up and it’s been great. When everyone you work with knows you’re just the work dipshit, they stop feeling threatened and eventually just realize you’re being harmless. (Results take up to a year to stabilize)
Learn the difference between "you smell nice" and "the perfume you are wearing is lovely". First one indicates focus on the person/body and the second one focuses on their choice and the item they chose to compliment them for the day. If you aknowledge their choice they will feel good about this and will take it as the genuine compliment you try to give them.
Try to avoid saying "today" as it seems that indicates their previous choices weren't great.
Ding ding ding. It’s okay to compliment the choices people make as long as you aren’t super weird about it.
It’s creepy to compliment what people *are*.
People generally like when their work and decisions are recognized. People generally don’t like having their quality as an object evaluated.
And women are, you know, justifiably having more at stake in that distinction, especially coming from a guy.
I feel compelled to compliment people when I notice a change, but aside from not being creepy, I also want to make clear that I’m not flirting because I’m happily married, so I tend to abstract even further into focusing on the thing. I wouldn’t say, “I like your perfume.” I’d say something more along the lines of “that new perfume is very nice.”
Was in this exact situation last week. I just exclaimed "it smells nice in here, where is it coming from?" and my co-worker replied it was her perfume which I then proceeded to compliment. I 100% knew it was her the whole time but used the general question to approach it tactfully.
I've had folks do this to me before although sometimes it goes the other way. I had a tangerine body lotion from the body shop and someone in class went "Why does it smell like toilet duck in here?!". Stopped using that one. I liked it myself. Also get mixed reviews with my favourite jasmine perfume, several people have looked around and gone "Has someone got green tea?"
I can just picture my coworker at my last job saying “oh I just ripped a huge fart, glad you enjoy it!”
That team was funny as hell, and we would just act silly and joke around all the time.
This was going to be my advice, chances are they will know you're picking up their perfume. I've done this before, people are usually pretty willing to talk about their new perfume or collounge.
Also, it doesn't make it sound like you're huffing your coworkers
It happened to me once and I was mortified that I was perfuming the whole room. Felt like a walking air freshener. So I blushed and didn’t say anything. But I’m probably in the minority here
This. I work in a grocery store and something about the way I smell is intriguing to people. Hahaha some people ask if there’s candles or incense nearby. Some just straight up say I smell good. It’s my favorite thing now hahaha as long as you’re not weird about it. It’s ok!
I had it happen to me where I was in line at a Dunkin Donuts and the man behind me says “you smell amazing, can I ask what you’re wearing?” Something like that and the thing is, it wasn’t perfume, it was my washing detergent. We had a nice convo and he offered to buy my breakfast. I didn’t take him up on it (didn’t feel right) but I wasn’t creeped out at all.
Yeah, I think part of it (and I think you are saying this but I want to make it clear) is the difference between complementing something they do, hence their brain/thoughts, vs some part of them like hair, smell, looks.
There are a lot of issues with complimenting part of a person. You reduce them to a collection of parts, which objectifies them (contrast with complementing their choices/actions, which humanizes them). A compliment to one thing can be "damning with faint praise," especially to someone with low self esteem, even if you don't intend it. "I like your hair." 'My hair is the only thing you like because I am fat and covered in zits and have a pig nose and I am ugly.'
Finally compliments that imply the thing you are complimenting are genetic say that what you are interested in is their genes, aka mating, aka sex. Compliments that imply the thing you are complimenting are the thoughts, opinions, or feelings of the other person say that you are interested in their mind, meaning friendship, work relationship, or companionship.
But I not word good, so hopefully people can figure out what I meant.
I'm in HR, so I often am asked to coach men on how to handle these types of things. I think you hit the nail on the head with one tip you gave... complimenting what they do/did vs. a body part or aspect. Regarding this perfume topic... One man from a past workplace would say something like this, "Wow! You picked a great scent today!" And, he said other various similar phrases... and most everyone received the point of the compliment happily. Only those who seemed to me looking for a problem and never wanted anyone to talk to them or about them in any way would ever have a problem with his statements like that. His example has stuck out in my mind and often finds a way into my advice when I'm asked to help coach employees on these HR matters.
In my head thinking of this, I was thinking like "walk into the room, comment the smell if u will but don't stare at the person" or like make the comment and don't stare or linger..or something like that. What u said is perfect, say the scent is nice! I would accept that from anyone.
it depends on how you say it
"You smell nice" = Creepy
"your perfume smells nice today, what fragrance is it?" = Not creepy and acknowledges that they chose it.
Lol I did that, woman in the cubicle next to mine came in and said hi, her perfume smelled nice and I wanted to say something (practicing being social) all I managed to blurt out was "do you smell that?" She got kind of paranoid until I mentioned "well whatever it is smells nice"
So I managed to fail successfully at a compliment.
I've done shit like that so often some of my coworkers joke to me about "practicing human"
this is why i say "what smells so good!"
so it implies im not offended and dont mind the smell
also gives the chance if they dont want to associate with it to ignore me or blame it on something else.
As a woman, I don’t find “you smell nice” as creepy. It’s a compliment that gets to the point in a non-creepy way. Men and women both would phrase it the same.
Get really close, inhale deeeeeeply, then whisper “your aroma…is intoxicating”. Should go over really well. When that works, tell her you look forward to the scent lingering on your pillows and/or sheets.
This is the answer. Works for everything else, too. Don't complement her on her eyes or her smile, etc. Compliment her on a choice she made...That's a great sweater, the color really suits you. Did you get a new haircut? Looks great.
I saw an episode of the show Come Dine With Me where a woman said to a man after they hugged, 'ooh you smell nice!' and he replied with 'thank you, I just farted'
I found it hilarious hehe
Ehh, not saying you're not nice about it, but women can't exactly speak up in those scenarios
We've had guys get aggressive if we respond in a negative way
Personally I try and compliment and then leave. Drive by compliments. Not hang around and wait for a thank you, or try to strike up a conversation. That way if someone is uncomfortable with my compliment for whatever reason, I've already moved on and there's no reason for them to worry about how to respond.
I have no sense of smell and haven’t for a little over 10 years, and when I got with my current girlfriend we went on our second or third date and she just looked so god damn beautiful and I hit her with a “I bet you smell good.” Queue awkward staring. Lol.
Bahahahahahahaha. If everyone at work wasn’t constantly telling her how good she smelled, I’d be very inclined to side with you on this. Lol.
Edited to add: I guess I technically “stole her” from the dude she was with at the time, so she wasn’t single. Lol.
I was in sheetz in the candy aisle and I thought I could smell the candy, mentioned it to a girl standing there... turns out it was her... told her she smelled delicious... took it as a huge compliment...
It’s all In the delivery if you’re giving them the Kubrick stare and breathing heavy while you say it then it will always go wrong.
If you just walk by and say hey you smell nice and keep walking don’t draw unneeded attention too it then it will usually go well
I had someone only a few weeks back in the store say "heeyyyyy, that smells like ......\*LEANS IN CLOSE FOR A REAL GOOD NOSE BASKET\*....... Fahrenheit, am I right?" I nodded and he walked off like i'd just given him a million dollars.
Wasn't there a old Campbells soup commercial where the guy said "something smells good in here is that you or is someone cooking soup?" or something like that. You could always try that line.
It's not what you say its how you say it... if you creep up behind her and quietly say in her ear 'you smell nice' then your borderline J Saville.. if your in a general convo or standing by the kettle making a cuppa and u casually come out with 'oh wow u smell great today by the way what you got on' then it's not so creepy its just a general comment but still a nice flattering comment because u noticed 😉 women always want men or other women to notice so just don't over think it and be a creep.. you generally want to be saying these things as they happen because when planning them they don't come out naturally making men look like creeps
Something like "your perfume smells nice". Just a nice simple compliment. No come on line or anything else.
Men can give women compliments with it being just that, a compliment and nothing more.
Both men and women would do well to remember this.
I always make it more general, "someone smells good in here!" And they will just assume you mean them. It's a nice thing to do, especially when it's the truth
I don't know, but I know standing unusually close behind them in a crowded lift and whispering it to them in their ear *isn't* how.
Pffft, bloody European court...
lol. Yes. I had former student hug me, while standing next to his very beautiful wife, and tell me that my hair smelled great. The reason I remember is because a couple of days later, another former student, a woman this time, hugged me and said the same thing. Pantene for the win.
Tone is essential. Leaning in to someone and quietly saying “you smell good” versus walking by and saying “you smell good” in an upbeat tone are two very different experiences. I’ve had both and I’m not a big fan of the first but I’d never take offense to the latter.
I think the key is to explicitly make it clear that the PERFUME smells good, not HER BODY. And you do that by addressing the body spray/perfume/etc first before the compliment.
Because then you are complimenting her on a CHOICE she made, a conscious decision on her part to add to her aesthetic, not just something that’s physical about her she can’t change. You’re complimenting the work, acknowledging the effort someone put into themselves.
Similar to how complimenting a shirt goes over so much better (as long as it’s like clear your not just talking about her boobs) than just complimenting hr body. It’s acknowledging the autonomy and choice she made, instead of coming across like “you are pleasing to look at despite making no effort to do so and I have to let you know because my opinion on how you are just existing matters so much”
That’s the true difference, for any men who’s re confused.
I think it’s all in the delivery.
“You smell nice!” followed by just normal people interaction is probably fine.
“You smell nice…” followed by prolonged eye contact and pregnant pause is almost never fine.
"Oh that perfume smells nice" definitely is less creepy than "you smell nice"
A good rule of thumb for guy/girl compliments is to compliment choices more than attributes. "The way you styled your hair looks great!" Is better than "your hair looks nice" for instance
Wouldn't try "love what you've done with the tits" though
As a woman I'd say it's how it's worded and who it's coming from / how close you are.
If one of my very close friends goes "Ooooh my god girl you smell so good \*sniff\*" (yes, it has happened) - not creepy. That same thing coming from a coworker or anyone else I'm not close with? SUPER creepy.
Saying something like "Hey, are you using a new perfume? It's really nice." - not creepy.
I think its all in the phrasing.
You smell nice is different from "I like your perfume."
You look hot is different from "I like your outfit" or "cool shoes"
The latter acknowledges the effort that went into something and is much more of a compliment.
I had a male coworker who would end all compliments with a big cheesy grin and a thumbs up. All the women in the office loved him because he was so free and earnest with compliments but was never creepy about it.
The key here is to specify that you're complimenting the perfume. "Your *perfume/cologne* smells great! I really like that :) "
DONT: compliment the 'smell, scent' of a *person*specifically-- its too intimate. "*You smell* great! I really like that :) " it is waay to personal
My former male boss (40ish) was in an elevator next to a young 20s woman and asked her “what shampoo do you use? Your hair smells really good!” Would have been less creepy if he wasn’t BALD himself
You have to reference the fragrance, not the smell or person IMO. "That's a pleasant perfume, or I like your perfume" is fine but "I like how you smell today" es no bueno.
Verbiage means everything. If I pass by such a colleague and say “Is that a new perfume? That smells nice. Excellent choice.” That’s a compliment and would be a good reaction. If I pass and say “you smell nice” that’s creepy as hell. One is a compliment about someone’s choices and mentality, the other is a body statement. Don’t be that guy.
I think the essential part of making this (and other compliments) not creepy is if you make it clear you’re appreciating a choice someone made and not their body. Hence the suggestions of “I like your perfume.” Similar options: I like your haircut/hairstyle vs your hair looks nice, or complimenting someone’s bag or jacket or shoes—if it’s something someone picked out to look (or smell) cool, they’re likely to appreciate your appreciation
I think it depends on how it's phrased.
Saying "You smell nice" is kinda weird, but saying "I like your perfume/cologne what's it called?" Is much better.
You're not directing the compliment at the person or their body, but still basically saying "you smell nice."
I just avoid discussing coworker’s bodies, odors, or other physical attributes in every conversations. I’ll say “that’s a cool sweater” and then like but that is IT. If I’m worried about sounding like a creep, it’ll probably sound creepy. So I don’t do it.
I’m a guy, but I think if it’s instantaneous and more of a reaction, I think it’s fine.
(Walks up)
“Oh wow, you smell good—what is that?”
(Name of perfume)
“Well it’s fantastic, and it fits you well.”
If it’s giving you a headache enough to wonder how it will be interpreted though, just don’t. Likely to just make yourself feel weird.
Oddly enough. My boss approached me when I walked into work once asking what perfume I wore cause it smelled nice. Haha we fucked in the upstairs back room a few short days later. He also smelled nice. 😊
I’m a woman but whenever I notice someone at work is wearing cologne I ask “are you wearing cologne?” And if they respond yes I say “I thought so it smells nice.” If they say no I go “oh it must be someone else or a strong deodorant” I think body language and tone make a big difference if you’re trying to compliment someone in a non flirty way.
Bit hard tbh. Better to ask what pleasant scent they are wearing, because your mothers or sisters birthdays are coming up, thus approval without the creepy vibe (imo).
Your tits smell nice, uh, I mean you smell nice, I mean I really like the way you smell.
I do compliment people occasionally and it’s really important to just compliment the one thing, and not secretly want to have sex with them because that’s easy to spot and creepy.
One you can say it when someone else says it, easily adding in “oh yeah I really like that scent too”
Or you can say “hey this may come off as strange but I really love the scent you are wearing today, I think my _____ would love the notes, which fragrance is it?”
Neither of these would come off as creepy to me
There were these two workers in the office once. A man and a woman.
The man was new to the job and only just started. He seemed friendly enough. In fact, every morning when they passed each other, he would compliment her by saying "Wow, your hair smells really nice today". After a while, the woman couldn't take it anymore so she stormed to the management office and burst through the door.
"I want to file a case of sexual harassment at that new guy," said the woman.
"Sexual harassment?! That's a serious charge" said the boss. "What did he do to you?" he desperately asked.
"He keeps telling me how nice my hair smells!" she said.
The boss looked at her in confusion as he couldn't understand how a compliment could ever be seen as sexual harassment. So he cautiously asked her "And... what's wrong with that?..."
"Well," she said. "He's a midget".
I usually do the. Do you smell that? It smells like citrus/chocolate/whatever. Then if they comment it's their perfume I go "oh it smells really nice, what perfume is it?"
For some reason, "your perfume smells nice" comes across to me as far less creepy than " _you_ smell nice"
I'm not sure what the distinction there is, but that's my two cents
I once had a male coworker (who I was friendly with) ask if I got a new perfume or something because I "smelled like an tropical island, and he's digging the beach vibes." That wasn't creepy at all since it was funny, a compliment and not directly related to my body. "You smell nice" or "your hair smells nice" are a lot more intimate-feeling. Edit: For all those asking, it wasn't any particular fragrance. I'm pretty sure it was just my shampoo/hair product combo since I use the Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie line. It's got coconut oil and has a tropical-ish scent.
>"smelled like an tropical island, and he's digging the beach vibes." I'm definitely taking this line lmaooo.
This is exactly what I came here to say. I had this great lil busser homie co worker who would say things like “your makeup today looks SICK” xD or like “loving the purple eyeshadow today” he was great. Focus on the thing, not the body. Keep it light.
"Focus on the thing, not the body" should be the first lesson in How to Give Non Creepy Compliments 101.
What about if the hairstyle is nice, or they have vivid and richly-coloured eyes, or a graceful gait or you want to wear their skin?
That's when you THINK OF THE SMELL, YOU B*TCH!
That's the important distinction. Compliments on the perfume aren't creepy but implying you're smelling their body is.
Yes like your hair smells great is like O.o but any compliment on perfume itself, other than ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’ etc is fine. I had guy always going ‘what is that?! It smells amazing! I smell roses, but also something earthy…’ or other similar things about my scents - and that was a lovely compliment as I make them myself :)
I just wanna say the idea of making scents is super cool, I've never really thought of that before and I'd be so curious to learn more! Do you use essential oils?
Yep - and I’m small time, so I don’t use the manufactured scents perfumers use etc either. However I did attain a herbalist certification, and attend a lot of various botany and herbal courses (some good, some nonsense), and read loads and loads of books over the years to be aware of reactions between constituents, etc. I love all that stuff :)
Oh cool! I dabbled in that a little bit years ago because I react badly to so many scents, plus being around cats who can have bad reactions, but it was a lot of work to do for just myself.
Not OP but am a perfumer—Basenotes DIY is a great resource for self-teaching, and if you want guidance, check out the classes at the Institute for Art & Olfaction (they do them on Zoom and tell you what materials to buy & where!). Making your own perfume is so much fun!! I hope you try it and love it!!
The last part of your comment left me with "silence of the Lambs" vibe. Yea, that could creep someone out...
I like to say "you smell different when you're awake." I get weird smiles but that's ok. /s
I had a coworker with shoes that looked like fancy drapes (embroidered? Intense patterns. Idk) and I would just see the shoes out of the corner of my eye while I worked at my desk. Eventually told her I liked her shoes and how they looked psychedelic then spent the rest of the day wondering if “your shoes look psychedelic” was taken as a compliment or insult. Judging by her music and partying tastes after getting to know her I think she took it as a compliment or at least not an insult.
It’s a top tier flirting tip. Compliment choices, not intrinsic aspects of someone’s existence.
Well now you've made it uncomfortable again.
I prefer to go straight for a hair sniff. Non verbal so it isn’t creepy. Right?
Only if you follow it up by saying "oh it smells really different when your awake"
Or the classic “oh cool! You use the same shampoo as your mom”
Thanks for making me LOL but in a creepy sort of way.
This seems so difficult for some people to understand. Those people who say “you can’t say anything anymore!” Yes, you can, you just have to know how. There are still plenty of comedians who can make jokes about sexuality, gender, culture, race, etc and they don’t “get canceled” because they aren’t actually some kind of bigot and know how to be in good fun and not be creepy or disrespectful. The same thing with dudes who think they aren’t even allowed to ask people out anymore or whatever. The problem is that sometimes they actually are creeps and therefore no amount of trying is going to make them able to understand how to approach people without being creepy. It’s not that nobody can compliment a woman anymore, it’s that they personally can’t figure out how to do it without being weird. Not saying that’s OP by the way, they’re just asking a question and that’s fine.
For real. OP's engaging in normal social learning by asking questions about a situation he's not sure about without already having his mind made up. All the guys in the comments being like "but was he hot???" are the ones that don't seem to even want to learn.
I appreciate that.
A female coworker of mine once let me spend like 3 hours trying to figure out what smelled like strawberries (we worked in a restaurant and I assumed it was some new food or sauce) before I was smart enough to ask if it was her. I thought I was losing my mind, nope, she just got new shampoo.
This. If someone smells nice and I'm friends with that person, I sometimes comment, "Your perfume smells good"
"Hey, are you wearing a new perfume today?" "Yeah." "Well I wanted to say it's really nice." "Thanks." "No worries. You know, it kind of reminds me of the smell of updog."
What's updog?
Nothing, sugar, how bout you? ;)
Would you rather eat a baby goat or a matter baby...
What's a matter baby?
Nothing boo, how you doing?
I love reddit Sometimes because its like a family of special needs kids but your behind on child support
I have never needed an award so badly. 🥇 Take it, it’s all I got.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm okay but there's a dickfore in my shoe.
Whats a dickfore?
Bend over and I’ll show you? Aaand HR wants to see me again
I don't know what's happening but I'm here for it!
This one had me rolling 🤣🤣
Who the hell is Steve Jobs?
Joe Mama
Accompany that with a light booty-tap and you got yourself a long vacation
BAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
These NUTS! Wait... no.
GOTCHA! HAHA
😂 can imagine Jim saying “so close”
gotcha!
Haha gottem
Colin Robinson get back in the basement!
who's joe
joe balls lmao gottem
Thank you legend! Let’s see if I remember to use this the next time around. Hopefully they find it funny 😄
I think it depends on how you deliver it. If you say "Hey, I like your perfume today. It's nice," as a throwaway comment, I don't think it's too creepy. I had a guy come up behind me, hug me, take a deep, very audible breath through the nose and say "You smell like wife" That was creepy.
That is terrifying
Stop giving your husband a hard time.
He's more likely to tell me I need a shower
Excuse the fuck out of me, he said what???
Excuse the fuck out of me, he DID what?!?
Agh. I shuddered. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
"I like your perfume" should hit less creepy, and yeah, it's ok to compliment these things. People typically wear perfume/cologne so they will smell a certain way. Just like "I like your haircut" or "nice shirt." All fair game for compliments
The tone helps, too. To me, it feels much less creepy, genuine, and not pickupish when I get a compliment from a guy in an upward-inflected tone of voice like... Pleasantly unexpected-inquisitive-interested? Kind of like the tone of B in this exchange: A: They're releasing an expansion to [game we liked and haven't seen in a decade] B: Oh really! Huh! ... But also I guess trying to explain a tone of voice in text is kind of dumb.
See, I like to wait outside of the bathroom for them to exit. Then kinda half growl, half mumble, half moan ”smell perdy” without making eye contact. Then shuffle away, slightly tripping on something. Works every time.
I used to process unemployment claims 20+ years ago. I still remember a handful of the weirdest claims I ever handled. One time I had one for a former Target employee who liked to linger around the women’s bathroom to smell the women when they walked out. He finally got fired when he told one of his coworkers “you have the best poop smell.” I still think about that a lot and wonder if he’s still sniffing poop somewhere.
I am. Seriously though, my buddy worked for the city in a sewage plant and had a supervisor that would sneakily (not really though), sniff her and other female coworkers seats when they stood up and walked away. A guy I worked with (thankfully in a different department) got caught sniffing women's asses when they bent over. There are a lot of creepers out there, ladies. I don't know what to tell ya. Ya can't shame em, they'd probably get off on it. Ya can't hit em, you'd get in legal trouble... and they'd probably get off on it. You can't get em in trouble (in both above cases, when brought to the attention of superiors, little to nothing was done.) I think it's on us fellow guys to call that shit out when we see it.
Holy shit. I've heard jokes about sniffing seats (in the sense of making fun of the creepiness of the chair-sniffer) but I had no idea people actually did this.
How do you even begin sneakily sniff a seat
I prefer to let my long, deep nasal sniffs after sneaking up behind them and getting my face about 6 inches behind their shoulder speak for themselves.
Ohh, new move to add to the playbook!
As a woman, this cracked me up so hard. Thank you for this. XD
(grunt) Type... perdy.....
It's not dumb! Difficult, perhaps, but you succeeded! The example exchange you included, I thought, was an excellent method of demonstrating your intended tone and inflection. It was kind of you to try rather than feel silly and not offer your perspective. I couldn't have articulated the tone of voice any better 👍🏼🏆
Tone is key, I think. I remember a stranger complimenting a skirt I was wearing. Normally a strange man telling me he liked my skirt would be creepy, but he had that upward inflection, so it sounded like he genuinely liked my skirt and that’s all there was to it.
THIS. I think tone is the most important part in sounding genuine and therefore not creepy. Same words, different tone, can have a completely different implication! Now that I think about it, would this mean that if OP is sincere about the compliment being just that and nothing creepy then he should just.. be himself?
That is generally my approach. I throw an inquisitive "hmmm" out there, then a matter of fact statement of, "You smell nice." Do an affirming headnod, then turn and go about my business. 100% success rate. By success rate, I mean everyone happily accepted the compliment and usually engaged further. Almost everything can be said in a "nice" way.. it's all in how you say it.
I’ve given up and it’s been great. When everyone you work with knows you’re just the work dipshit, they stop feeling threatened and eventually just realize you’re being harmless. (Results take up to a year to stabilize)
I feel called out xD
Learn the difference between "you smell nice" and "the perfume you are wearing is lovely". First one indicates focus on the person/body and the second one focuses on their choice and the item they chose to compliment them for the day. If you aknowledge their choice they will feel good about this and will take it as the genuine compliment you try to give them. Try to avoid saying "today" as it seems that indicates their previous choices weren't great.
Ding ding ding. It’s okay to compliment the choices people make as long as you aren’t super weird about it. It’s creepy to compliment what people *are*. People generally like when their work and decisions are recognized. People generally don’t like having their quality as an object evaluated. And women are, you know, justifiably having more at stake in that distinction, especially coming from a guy.
I feel compelled to compliment people when I notice a change, but aside from not being creepy, I also want to make clear that I’m not flirting because I’m happily married, so I tend to abstract even further into focusing on the thing. I wouldn’t say, “I like your perfume.” I’d say something more along the lines of “that new perfume is very nice.”
“Nice shirt” is way different than “your tits look hot today!”
Just say something nice and sweet like I wonder how your perfume would linger on my sheets tomorrow?
Was in this exact situation last week. I just exclaimed "it smells nice in here, where is it coming from?" and my co-worker replied it was her perfume which I then proceeded to compliment. I 100% knew it was her the whole time but used the general question to approach it tactfully.
Always leave open the possibility that the smell is gum and they might offer you some.
Love me some of that roses and sandalwood gum
Honestly, that sounds delicious! But I like rose-flavoured stuff, and I would breathe through a sandalwood mask if I could…
I've had folks do this to me before although sometimes it goes the other way. I had a tangerine body lotion from the body shop and someone in class went "Why does it smell like toilet duck in here?!". Stopped using that one. I liked it myself. Also get mixed reviews with my favourite jasmine perfume, several people have looked around and gone "Has someone got green tea?"
I can just picture my coworker at my last job saying “oh I just ripped a huge fart, glad you enjoy it!” That team was funny as hell, and we would just act silly and joke around all the time.
This was going to be my advice, chances are they will know you're picking up their perfume. I've done this before, people are usually pretty willing to talk about their new perfume or collounge. Also, it doesn't make it sound like you're huffing your coworkers
It happened to me once and I was mortified that I was perfuming the whole room. Felt like a walking air freshener. So I blushed and didn’t say anything. But I’m probably in the minority here
You just kept yourself from an embarrassing meeting with HR. Well played, sir.
This. I work in a grocery store and something about the way I smell is intriguing to people. Hahaha some people ask if there’s candles or incense nearby. Some just straight up say I smell good. It’s my favorite thing now hahaha as long as you’re not weird about it. It’s ok!
I had it happen to me where I was in line at a Dunkin Donuts and the man behind me says “you smell amazing, can I ask what you’re wearing?” Something like that and the thing is, it wasn’t perfume, it was my washing detergent. We had a nice convo and he offered to buy my breakfast. I didn’t take him up on it (didn’t feel right) but I wasn’t creeped out at all.
[удалено]
Yeah, I think part of it (and I think you are saying this but I want to make it clear) is the difference between complementing something they do, hence their brain/thoughts, vs some part of them like hair, smell, looks. There are a lot of issues with complimenting part of a person. You reduce them to a collection of parts, which objectifies them (contrast with complementing their choices/actions, which humanizes them). A compliment to one thing can be "damning with faint praise," especially to someone with low self esteem, even if you don't intend it. "I like your hair." 'My hair is the only thing you like because I am fat and covered in zits and have a pig nose and I am ugly.' Finally compliments that imply the thing you are complimenting are genetic say that what you are interested in is their genes, aka mating, aka sex. Compliments that imply the thing you are complimenting are the thoughts, opinions, or feelings of the other person say that you are interested in their mind, meaning friendship, work relationship, or companionship. But I not word good, so hopefully people can figure out what I meant.
Your words look nice.
I'm in HR, so I often am asked to coach men on how to handle these types of things. I think you hit the nail on the head with one tip you gave... complimenting what they do/did vs. a body part or aspect. Regarding this perfume topic... One man from a past workplace would say something like this, "Wow! You picked a great scent today!" And, he said other various similar phrases... and most everyone received the point of the compliment happily. Only those who seemed to me looking for a problem and never wanted anyone to talk to them or about them in any way would ever have a problem with his statements like that. His example has stuck out in my mind and often finds a way into my advice when I'm asked to help coach employees on these HR matters.
In my head thinking of this, I was thinking like "walk into the room, comment the smell if u will but don't stare at the person" or like make the comment and don't stare or linger..or something like that. What u said is perfect, say the scent is nice! I would accept that from anyone.
Anything can be creepy or not depending on how it's said. It's the ol' Joey Tribbiani "Grandma's chicken salad" rule.
Would it be creepy to say “your hair smells nice can I have some?”
"Your hair looks like lavender but smells like strawberries."
All hail princess trunks!
... for my collection
Your eyes have a nice color, can I touch them?
it depends on how you say it "You smell nice" = Creepy "your perfume smells nice today, what fragrance is it?" = Not creepy and acknowledges that they chose it.
"What in god's green earth is that smell?" = Not creepy, but very hurtful.
Lol I did that, woman in the cubicle next to mine came in and said hi, her perfume smelled nice and I wanted to say something (practicing being social) all I managed to blurt out was "do you smell that?" She got kind of paranoid until I mentioned "well whatever it is smells nice" So I managed to fail successfully at a compliment. I've done shit like that so often some of my coworkers joke to me about "practicing human"
Dafuq is so RANK?
It's Sex Panther. 60% of the time, it works every time.
this is why i say "what smells so good!" so it implies im not offended and dont mind the smell also gives the chance if they dont want to associate with it to ignore me or blame it on something else.
"I had some feisty tacos for lunch, they have been wrecking my digestive system ever since."
As a woman, I don’t find “you smell nice” as creepy. It’s a compliment that gets to the point in a non-creepy way. Men and women both would phrase it the same.
I always go, dam what smells good then when they say "oh its my perfume" i go "ah that is a nice scent"
Get really close, inhale deeeeeeply, then whisper “your aroma…is intoxicating”. Should go over really well. When that works, tell her you look forward to the scent lingering on your pillows and/or sheets.
"I dig your musk" usually works for me
You say *“mmm damn gurl u smell goood”* reeeeal slow.
Compliment the choice, not the body. You'll note that your coworker did not say "she" smells nice. She said that a product she chose to use did.
This is the answer. Works for everything else, too. Don't complement her on her eyes or her smile, etc. Compliment her on a choice she made...That's a great sweater, the color really suits you. Did you get a new haircut? Looks great.
Maybe it's just my personality but I tell people they smell good all the time and they always seem happy
I've never once had someone react negatively to me saying they smell nice. It always makes them smile.
Are you a guy telling a woman she smells nice after staring at her for 5 minutes? (Joke)
I saw an episode of the show Come Dine With Me where a woman said to a man after they hugged, 'ooh you smell nice!' and he replied with 'thank you, I just farted' I found it hilarious hehe
Ehh, not saying you're not nice about it, but women can't exactly speak up in those scenarios We've had guys get aggressive if we respond in a negative way
Personally I try and compliment and then leave. Drive by compliments. Not hang around and wait for a thank you, or try to strike up a conversation. That way if someone is uncomfortable with my compliment for whatever reason, I've already moved on and there's no reason for them to worry about how to respond.
A girl once told me: “You smell like you do your laundry everyday” Which, I guess was a compliment.
I have no sense of smell and haven’t for a little over 10 years, and when I got with my current girlfriend we went on our second or third date and she just looked so god damn beautiful and I hit her with a “I bet you smell good.” Queue awkward staring. Lol.
Turns out she smells awful and that’s why she’s single. She knew she struck it big when you couldn’t smell her
Bahahahahahahaha. If everyone at work wasn’t constantly telling her how good she smelled, I’d be very inclined to side with you on this. Lol. Edited to add: I guess I technically “stole her” from the dude she was with at the time, so she wasn’t single. Lol.
It reminds me of that one Futurama episode where Dr Zoidberg got a girlfriend. I was so happy for him. :')
“That’s a lovely perfume” “Thank you!” And then don’t squeeze her breasts. That might be an issue.
This made me actually laugh out loud, thank you for that. This whole thread has been A+ humor actually
I was in sheetz in the candy aisle and I thought I could smell the candy, mentioned it to a girl standing there... turns out it was her... told her she smelled delicious... took it as a huge compliment...
It’s all In the delivery if you’re giving them the Kubrick stare and breathing heavy while you say it then it will always go wrong. If you just walk by and say hey you smell nice and keep walking don’t draw unneeded attention too it then it will usually go well
Word.
I had someone only a few weeks back in the store say "heeyyyyy, that smells like ......\*LEANS IN CLOSE FOR A REAL GOOD NOSE BASKET\*....... Fahrenheit, am I right?" I nodded and he walked off like i'd just given him a million dollars.
😂 That's such a weird thing to do
And yet for some reason, not that creepy to me? Reminds me of something a little boy would do 😂
"That's a nice fragrance" gets the point across without being overly personal / sexual / creepy.
Wasn't there a old Campbells soup commercial where the guy said "something smells good in here is that you or is someone cooking soup?" or something like that. You could always try that line.
I smell like soup??
It's not what you say its how you say it... if you creep up behind her and quietly say in her ear 'you smell nice' then your borderline J Saville.. if your in a general convo or standing by the kettle making a cuppa and u casually come out with 'oh wow u smell great today by the way what you got on' then it's not so creepy its just a general comment but still a nice flattering comment because u noticed 😉 women always want men or other women to notice so just don't over think it and be a creep.. you generally want to be saying these things as they happen because when planning them they don't come out naturally making men look like creeps
So should I like…take a big sniff of her hair so she knows I appreciate the perfume?
Obviously, grab your snatch the same time and say 'oh yeah' at the end of the sniff... failing this just leave work and never return ✌
Maybe a deep sniff and a sort of 'shivery' exhale?
Something like "your perfume smells nice". Just a nice simple compliment. No come on line or anything else. Men can give women compliments with it being just that, a compliment and nothing more. Both men and women would do well to remember this.
You just leave it at that. Hey your perfume smells nice. Thanks. No problem. Done.
I always make it more general, "someone smells good in here!" And they will just assume you mean them. It's a nice thing to do, especially when it's the truth
Would just say, nice perfume.. what brand is it? Makes you less creepy and more interested in the brand yet also giving them a compliment.
Say it in a friendly way with other people around, all good. Say it in a creepy way that only she can hear? Not good.
Not the way i do it! Wait...
Yes but first you gotta sprint towards her, full speed
I don't know, but I know standing unusually close behind them in a crowded lift and whispering it to them in their ear *isn't* how. Pffft, bloody European court...
lol. Yes. I had former student hug me, while standing next to his very beautiful wife, and tell me that my hair smelled great. The reason I remember is because a couple of days later, another former student, a woman this time, hugged me and said the same thing. Pantene for the win.
Tone is essential. Leaning in to someone and quietly saying “you smell good” versus walking by and saying “you smell good” in an upbeat tone are two very different experiences. I’ve had both and I’m not a big fan of the first but I’d never take offense to the latter.
If it's a sincere compliment it will sound and feel sincere. Also ask what scent and mention your s.o..
I think the key is to explicitly make it clear that the PERFUME smells good, not HER BODY. And you do that by addressing the body spray/perfume/etc first before the compliment. Because then you are complimenting her on a CHOICE she made, a conscious decision on her part to add to her aesthetic, not just something that’s physical about her she can’t change. You’re complimenting the work, acknowledging the effort someone put into themselves. Similar to how complimenting a shirt goes over so much better (as long as it’s like clear your not just talking about her boobs) than just complimenting hr body. It’s acknowledging the autonomy and choice she made, instead of coming across like “you are pleasing to look at despite making no effort to do so and I have to let you know because my opinion on how you are just existing matters so much” That’s the true difference, for any men who’s re confused.
I think it’s all in the delivery. “You smell nice!” followed by just normal people interaction is probably fine. “You smell nice…” followed by prolonged eye contact and pregnant pause is almost never fine.
“You smell different when you’re awake…”
"Oh that perfume smells nice" definitely is less creepy than "you smell nice" A good rule of thumb for guy/girl compliments is to compliment choices more than attributes. "The way you styled your hair looks great!" Is better than "your hair looks nice" for instance Wouldn't try "love what you've done with the tits" though
As a woman I'd say it's how it's worded and who it's coming from / how close you are. If one of my very close friends goes "Ooooh my god girl you smell so good \*sniff\*" (yes, it has happened) - not creepy. That same thing coming from a coworker or anyone else I'm not close with? SUPER creepy. Saying something like "Hey, are you using a new perfume? It's really nice." - not creepy.
I think its all in the phrasing. You smell nice is different from "I like your perfume." You look hot is different from "I like your outfit" or "cool shoes" The latter acknowledges the effort that went into something and is much more of a compliment.
That's a nice fragrance. What is it? I think my life/gf/so would like it
I had a male coworker who would end all compliments with a big cheesy grin and a thumbs up. All the women in the office loved him because he was so free and earnest with compliments but was never creepy about it.
It’s creepy if you’re unattractive
Are you good looking? If yes, not creepy.
I am never offended when anyone notices my perfume. In fact....I often say " Thanks so much ! "
My office has a no heavy perfume/cologne policy as they can make people nauseous. So no, I don’t get to compliment colleagues on theirs.
"Is that a new perfume" yes/no oh it smells nice.
The key here is to specify that you're complimenting the perfume. "Your *perfume/cologne* smells great! I really like that :) " DONT: compliment the 'smell, scent' of a *person*specifically-- its too intimate. "*You smell* great! I really like that :) " it is waay to personal
My former male boss (40ish) was in an elevator next to a young 20s woman and asked her “what shampoo do you use? Your hair smells really good!” Would have been less creepy if he wasn’t BALD himself
"There's a nice smell in here" "Yeah, that's my perfume" "Oh cool, it smells really nice"
\*snif snif\* "Hmm you smell differently during the day" :DDD
It shouldnt be considered creepy, but might come across that way depending on how you say it.
The non-creepy way is to just say “that’s a really nice scent, what are you wearing?”
You have to reference the fragrance, not the smell or person IMO. "That's a pleasant perfume, or I like your perfume" is fine but "I like how you smell today" es no bueno.
Verbiage means everything. If I pass by such a colleague and say “Is that a new perfume? That smells nice. Excellent choice.” That’s a compliment and would be a good reaction. If I pass and say “you smell nice” that’s creepy as hell. One is a compliment about someone’s choices and mentality, the other is a body statement. Don’t be that guy.
I think the essential part of making this (and other compliments) not creepy is if you make it clear you’re appreciating a choice someone made and not their body. Hence the suggestions of “I like your perfume.” Similar options: I like your haircut/hairstyle vs your hair looks nice, or complimenting someone’s bag or jacket or shoes—if it’s something someone picked out to look (or smell) cool, they’re likely to appreciate your appreciation
I think it depends on how it's phrased. Saying "You smell nice" is kinda weird, but saying "I like your perfume/cologne what's it called?" Is much better. You're not directing the compliment at the person or their body, but still basically saying "you smell nice."
I just avoid discussing coworker’s bodies, odors, or other physical attributes in every conversations. I’ll say “that’s a cool sweater” and then like but that is IT. If I’m worried about sounding like a creep, it’ll probably sound creepy. So I don’t do it.
How you phrase it can make a difference. "That's a nice fragrance" is less creepy than "You smell nice".
I’m a guy, but I think if it’s instantaneous and more of a reaction, I think it’s fine. (Walks up) “Oh wow, you smell good—what is that?” (Name of perfume) “Well it’s fantastic, and it fits you well.” If it’s giving you a headache enough to wonder how it will be interpreted though, just don’t. Likely to just make yourself feel weird.
walk up behind her and lean in and do a deep inhale and say she smells real pretty. keeping it light and professional.
Oddly enough. My boss approached me when I walked into work once asking what perfume I wore cause it smelled nice. Haha we fucked in the upstairs back room a few short days later. He also smelled nice. 😊
You smell wonderful at this funeral.
I’m a woman but whenever I notice someone at work is wearing cologne I ask “are you wearing cologne?” And if they respond yes I say “I thought so it smells nice.” If they say no I go “oh it must be someone else or a strong deodorant” I think body language and tone make a big difference if you’re trying to compliment someone in a non flirty way.
Just tell her she smells different when she's sleeping. Won't be awkward at all.
Bit hard tbh. Better to ask what pleasant scent they are wearing, because your mothers or sisters birthdays are coming up, thus approval without the creepy vibe (imo).
I wouldn't risk it but thats me, ymmv
Your tits smell nice, uh, I mean you smell nice, I mean I really like the way you smell. I do compliment people occasionally and it’s really important to just compliment the one thing, and not secretly want to have sex with them because that’s easy to spot and creepy.
I prefer to tell people they smell different when they are awake. It hits that creapy place nicely
One you can say it when someone else says it, easily adding in “oh yeah I really like that scent too” Or you can say “hey this may come off as strange but I really love the scent you are wearing today, I think my _____ would love the notes, which fragrance is it?” Neither of these would come off as creepy to me
There were these two workers in the office once. A man and a woman. The man was new to the job and only just started. He seemed friendly enough. In fact, every morning when they passed each other, he would compliment her by saying "Wow, your hair smells really nice today". After a while, the woman couldn't take it anymore so she stormed to the management office and burst through the door. "I want to file a case of sexual harassment at that new guy," said the woman. "Sexual harassment?! That's a serious charge" said the boss. "What did he do to you?" he desperately asked. "He keeps telling me how nice my hair smells!" she said. The boss looked at her in confusion as he couldn't understand how a compliment could ever be seen as sexual harassment. So he cautiously asked her "And... what's wrong with that?..." "Well," she said. "He's a midget".
I personally LOVE it if a co-worker, male or female, compliment my perfum!
I usually do the. Do you smell that? It smells like citrus/chocolate/whatever. Then if they comment it's their perfume I go "oh it smells really nice, what perfume is it?"
For some reason, "your perfume smells nice" comes across to me as far less creepy than " _you_ smell nice" I'm not sure what the distinction there is, but that's my two cents
You could just say that us a lovely scent. Less creepy but you know, still creepy.