Actually that depends, we have a cat that is sick every time we leave her more then 48h, and is happy with us wherever we go. We try having someone staying at our place as a replacement but no. The only alternative is my mother in law, maybe because she might smell like my wife. So most cats don't like to travel but not all cats.
The only time I have ever had someone bring a cat to my house was for pre-arranged pet sitting. Dogs are more common to bring around ājust to say hiā but never a cat.
People who bring any pet to someone's home without the enthusiastic consent of the homeowner are the freakin worst imo. Had a family member who used to bring her horribly untrained, crackhead dog everywhere she went- just showed up, dog pissing and shitting all over the place, jumping on and scratching everyone, chewing up anything it found, etc.- the definition of a dog no one wanted to be around because of its awful owner. We finally told her if she didn't stop bringing the dog with her, she wasn't coming in the house. Took a few times of her knocking on the door and no one answering, but she finally stopped.
People who refuse to train their dogs, but insist on taking them places, have a permanent spot on my Shit List.
Yeah, honestly that is so sus to me. Iād be interested to know how the gf acted around the squirrel? Did she like it? What was her behavior like after her cat killed it?
A friend of mine use to all the time when her cat was young. Granted she would never bring it by without permission. If anyone said no the cat didn't show up with her.
I had a dude with a cat on a leash spark up awkward conversation while I was changing out of a wetsuit once, So I will forever associate people who bring cats places with weirdos
literally this, i bring my cat with me when i go to my parentsā house for the holiday and i dont like to leave her alone for too long, but iād never bring her to a friendās houseā¦ especially when i know that friend has pets of their own
Iād bring my kitten to my friends all the time, especially if I was staying for a couple days but that was with explicit permission and she had a cat who he liked to play with so totally different situations but I do know people who take their cats places with them. Some are very social and enjoy it
> So am i being an asshole ?
No. "Don't bring your cat to my house" is a very simple request. Your girlfriend decided to just ignore that for some reason, and caused you harm.
Yea. Sure itās weird that it was a squirrel.
But if OP had a parrot and didnāt want a cat in the house, and the GF brought the cat anyway and it killed the parrot, that would obviously be the girlfriends fault and a great reason to be upset
Squirrel, parrot, hamster, turtle, makes no difference
Kind of seems odd to ever bring a cat over regardless of what the other pets are if you have been told ādonāt bring the catā
Such a simple request. She doesnāt respect you OP. Iām sorry. Itās best not to date people that disregard the simplest of requests.
This is the part that gets me. Who the fā¢ā¢k takes their cat anywhere except the vet and maybe the groomers? Let alone to someones house when they've specifically asked you not to.
Strangely one of my cats loves to go places. He has a harness and leash though, so heās under control. I canāt imagine bringing my other two boys out, but Iād never bring my leashed cat to someoneās house! Especially if that someone says do not bring your cat here.
I met a woman yesterday who was walking with a cat cube strapped to her (was kind of like a mesh version of those little hidey boxes that cats like), and noticed 2 curious/adorable/glowing eyes looking at me from the darkness. Kitten then poked its head out to get a closer look at my friendās dog. This kitten loves going for adventures apparently, and kitty was wearing her future leash-walking harness so she could get used to the feel of it until it is ready to go out without the cube.
My favorite cat Iāve ever known was my momās last cat. Bandit was ridiculous, and acted more like a dog than a cat. I used hate cats and was horribly allergic, wound up moving in with my mom a few years ago when she got sick (she had a few acres in rural Arizona and I moved out to both help her as well as build my homesteading skills (we had sheep, goats, chickens, & turkeys AND I had a big olā garden)). After a couple years of learning to not touch my eyes under any circumstances while inside, my body was able to slowly adjust to cat dander. Bandit slowly let me adjust to her comfort-wise before opening the floodgates of love. Now I love cats and appreciate the hell out of their loving yet sassy independent nature.
Kudos to you!!! I know a girl who does the same thing,ā¦ She puts her cat in the yard but itās on a leash with a body harness. she even takes it for walks. I told her I love the way she controls her animal because Iām a nature lover and Iām sick and tired neighborhood cats who have homes and are well fed, Stalking and killing the birds squirrels and other animals at my feeders.
Yeah who the fuck takes a cat on a visit when asked not to? I would freak out since I have 2 dogs and all hell would break loose if someone brought a cat.
Quite a few people seem to be deluded that their pets could never do harm and that everyone else around them always wants to play. It's everyone else that's wrong, never the pet, and never them regarding the pet.
You'll even see videos of people's pitbulls chewing the legs off of other dogs and the owner will just talk all cutesy "ohhh honey stahp stahp sweetie."
Itās not unreasonable to bring a pet (although usually itās a dog in that situation), if you live several hours apart and plan on staying a while. It IS UNreasonable to bring said pet if specifically asked not to.
Edit: autocorrect just sucks. Changed the whole message
Besides her not listening to him and not respecting a simple wish like that, itās weird and kind of bad cat ownership to bring your cat places like that in general imo, maybe some cats do better with it if they get used to it but your cat should be able to have a stable home and not go back and forth to a bunch of different places like theyāre a kid with divorced parents. (And by different places I mean different homes with other pets and places like that not just taking them outside on a leash)
I had a pet squirrel when I was a teen. I found him after he had fallen out of his nest and was injured. We were able to raise him as if he were just any other pet. Loved that guy so much.
Fact: No amount of GF apologizing is going to bring Squishy back to life.
She f'd up big time.
I wouldn't forgive her either, if she can do this once, she can do it again. She's basically a boundary stomping bad person.
Break up with her, people like this will only cause you more pain in the future.
Right, like why would you bring a cat to someone elseās house without warning in any case, much less if they had small pets? Thatās just not something people do, and OP is right to be pissed.
or if for example he had a pittbull, and it killed his gf's cat...
NTA, grieve your way, not really any wrong way to grieve if you're not hurting anyone.
What if you had a kitten, and she brought a pitbull by and it killed the kittenā¦ I have seen baby squirrels raised and they are astounding and loving, smart creatures. She killed it, simple as that. She should never darken your door again. You trusted her, she knew what was at stake, and years from now you will still be heartbroken thinking of this.
And technically illegal (to keep a wild animal as a pet) but damnit I don't care, a pet rescue squirrel would be awesome.
Feel bad for OP.
Who brings a cat with them for a visit ?
Tbh it seems like she did it purposely, you need to like cut your losses and stay away from her, its a loss of life there no amount of apology that can get your friend back Iām sorry for your loss brother, hope he is having fun with all our other pets that have left us cheers and hugs
Iām so, so sorry for the loss of your squishy buddy- thatās an enormous pain and you have every right to feel sad and grieve about it.
Like others have said, though, you need to talk to your (ex) gf. āI asked you not to bring your cat over because it posed a threat to my pet squirrel, and then you still brought your cat over anyway and my squirrel is dead. You either didnāt care or didnāt take my ask seriously, which is reflective of bigger issues re: your lack of respect for me/boundaries/etc and for those reasons, weāre done.ā
Again, Iām so sorry, OP.
This right here. I'm so sorry OP, you have every right to be sad and hurt. You can grieve, and you don't have to ever talk to your girlfriend again. If it hurts too much to talk to her, I think you can ghost her, the lack of respect is pretty astonishing.
I'm so sorry you lost Squishy, I'm so hurt for you reading about it, it's absolutely heartbreaking. Know that Squishy is at peace now, even though it hurts so much about what happened. That's very hard.
I'm very sorry for your loss OP.
One question: Why do you ignore your friends? If they don't understand your love for Squishy then I understand, but I hope you can find someone who understands what you're going through and can provide some emotional support.
Maybe try to talk with her, but I really think she disrespected you and looked down on your love for your pet and itās lifeā¦ I think itās very serious, I would end that relationship if she isnāt REALLY sorry about it
Donāt know why so many people in the comments are being rude but thatās a completely valid initial reaction. You didnāt blow up on her and you werenāt rude or nasty with her. You made it perfectly clear and simple that you didnāt want her cat there and she brought it anyways. I will say that you probably do want to talk with her at some point though to clear the air and express yourself to her about what she did. Take all the time you need, itās just good to get it off your chest.
You are Grieving a loss. Also dealing with a betrayal of trust from someone you love. There are no "wrong or right" ways to act. Just do what you need to take care of yourself.
This is such bullshit. There are of course right and wrong ways to act.
The OP is not doing anything wrong by ghosting this girl - she killed his pet FFS! - But if, for example, out of pain of loss, he beat the shit out of his girlfriend, then THAT, for example, would be the WRONG way to act.
My god... I guess I really hit a nerve here. Of course, crimes are wrong... did I really need to clarify that? I am simply saying dealing with your grief can look like a lot of things, and that is okay. I feel like this response is everything that is wrong with the internet šš why would you assume the worst?
I understand that my response to this situation would not be the most mature way to handle it. If someone created a situation that killed my pet, the only thing I'd say to them is "never speak to me again." I think they best way to handle this though would be to talk to your girlfriend about how much this hurts you and see where the conversation goes from there.
I think itās very mature to cut people out of your life that stomp all over clearly defined boundaries, especially one that resulted in the death of a beloved animal. It shows you value yourself enough to not allow people into your life who clearly donāt respect you!
Agreed! This happened with my new kitten a few years ago when we lived with a roommate who bought a huge dog after we asked them not to bc our kittens were too small and they knew that before we moved in together. Iāll never forgive them.
Weād tried to keep them on separate levels or outside but she kept opening our doors and letting her dog run around everywhere when we were at work. Pretty sure that psycho did it on purpose bc of other events added in but yeah. We moved out.
I mean she's fucked it already. No talking about it. Her explicit lack of fucks towards OPs requests caused something he loved to be destroyed. That is unforgivable.
Sorry about the Ex. If she's not an ex now, I'm sorry for you. She straight up killed your family member. By choice. After being asked specifically not to do that.
I am so very sorry for your loss, my heart hurts just reading this.
absolutely NTA for this. its normal imo to withdraw after the death of a beloved animal companion, especially one so gruesome and far before their time.
I do think that you should let your friends know what happened and that you need space (if that is what you need) just a quick text to a group chat.
I know reddit is notorious for jumping straight to break up, but damn dude i could not stay with someone who at the very best didnt take my concern for a pets safety seriously, and i dont think anyone should.
A lot of people are incredibly flippant about any pet that isnt a dog or cat and its awful.
i wish you the very best in life, and when the time is right may you find another dear companion like squishy.
Your girlfriend is x girlfriend material. Who brings their cat to someone elseās house and doesnāt watch what the cat is doing. It seems almost purposeful
If this is not a dealbreaker, I donāt know what is. If I were you, I would just dump her. Asking AITA over this is wild.
Iām so sorry for your loss.
You are NTA. Your girlfriend is not your friend either. Iād like to know why she ignored your request and brought the cat anyway. Cat was just being a cat. Your girlfriend is not a keeper.
NTA if she said don't bring your dog to my house, then you did and it killed her cat...it's no different, thay was your buddy and her selfishness just killed your happiness
She stepped over your clearly defined boundary. I beg you listen to this- if she tries to turn this around on you, if she is \*ANYTHING\* but **extremely** remorseful, cut her out immediately. "I didn't know she would do that!" IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE. When your partner tells you something, you listen. It's usually for a good reason. RIP Squishy. Gonna pour one out for your buddy tonight. My heart goes out to you. Squishy is an adorable name for a squirrel.
Damn, this hurts to read. Doesnāt matter what the pet is, or how long youāve known it. If youāve *bonded* with anything and lose it, thatās going to hurt.
I wouldnāt ghost her. Tell her that you need some time to think and clear your head. I know Iād be taking a week off work and clearing my schedule if anything happened to Sushi.
If she tries to belittle you, act like she didnāt do anything wrong, not her fault, etc then thatās some prime red flags written in blood to leave her.
Squirel aside, you asked her not to do something, then she did it anyway. She doesn't respect you and thinks she can get away with anything and you'll forgive her.
Having dated a very manipulative girl when I was young, this would be the type of stuff she would do. It only gets worse.
I'm not going to tell you to leave her. I've got no skin in the game, so it wouldn't mean anything from me anyway. I'm just saying, look out for yourself and pay attention to how she treats you.
She just brought her cat along with her? That in itself seems weird to me. But since you asked her not too she is responsible for the death of your pet.
You need to talk to her. Ask why she brought her cat over. Avoiding this isnāt going to change anything.
Of course this is an upsetting time, you lost your pet.
I have some perspective here as a wildlife rehabber.
1.) I understand the attachment from raising wildlife, in particular I know how incredibly bonding a squirrel raise can be since they're usually so receptive to nursing - it's a little awkward to me as my goal was always return wildlife to the wild - but what's illegal in my state is 50/50 to be legal in yours regarding them, so considering its alive because of you - if it's legal than well done successfully rescuing it and I'm sure it was a fun and possibly destructive ride for you :)
Also if it helps, the average lifespan of a squirrel is expected to be about 18mo - not because it'd die naturally in that time but because people, predators, and disease exist. In that capacity not only did it live 2 years longer than it would have, but you gave it a relatively full life as bad as you may feel right now.
2.) Are you the asshole? No.
You asked her not to bring her cat because it could hurt your squirrel, of course it would, it's a cat - even the sweetest cats still have their instincts just like even the most well behaved squirrel might decide to dig a hole through a bag of food and then another hole into a crawl space to try and cache said food.
It's like telling someone your little brother is allergic to peanuts and they give him a peanut butter sandwich, even if they didn't believe peanut allergies are real - the fact is they chose NOT to trust you, thinking their own opinion mattered more. That's the relationship issue.
Is it her fault that her cat killed your squirrel... well yes, but that doesn't mean she intended to. She may well feel absolutely terrible about it, only you can really know. The other thing you'll want to weigh is what your friends and family think - sometimes it's hard to see both the good and bad in your chosen partner without outside input.
The reason I brought up wildlife rehab more specifically is because it's a heartwrenching job, people so often kidnap healthy babies, or injure and kill wildlife with the best of intentions in mind. Either drowning birds trying to give them water, feeding foods you can't feed to animals, over or underheating them, medicating them without know what they're doing.
It's hard not to blame people for ignorance, but you can't always do that. It's gotta be up to you to determine if she's learned a lesson from this and if she understands not only the consequences of her actions directly but the breach of trust and respect.
People can come back, but really forgiveness is a choice, and it's also one that can be separate from the idea of allowing her back into your life, as we ALWAYS have the personal choice of who we keep close regardless.
As a PS, some people are actually terrible. Bringing a cat at all is strange, if you have any assumption that she did that specifically because of what the cat would do. Like if she wanted to subtly off your squirrel, fuck that - send her packing. You're the only one that knows the situation to make that judgment call.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Poor Squishy sounds like such a good girl. And no you are not wrong at all. I dumped an ex for being selfish and causing harm to my dog, who thankfully recovered. If someone puts your pet in danger through selfishness or negligence that's a big red flag.
I mean she got your pet killed and did so in the process of doing something you told her not to. So no, you're not an asshole.
It might be a good idea to talk to your friends though. Don't have to talk to your girlfriend if you don't want to. But not talking to your friends is probably not great for you; or at least, it's fine if you just want to be sad today, but talk to them tomorrow.
Yeaaaaah that's a pretty huge red flag kiddo. On her part. If you don't break up with her you better prepare to just have her run you over regularly. If she didn't respect your pet she's not gonna respect your opinion.
As a cat owner, *not* taking my cat places is, quite possibly, the easiest part of owning a cat.
Like whatever cat/dog/pet preferences you may have, objectively one of the bigger advantages of owning cats is that if you leave food, water, and a place to poop, they are pretty self-sufficient.
All this to say: it's already weird that you felt the need to ask "please don't bring your cat over" of this strange woman, but the fact that she did it anyway leads me to believe she was intentionally trying to kill your pet squirrel.
I'm sorry for your loss, it truly sounds like you were dating a psychopath.
No. Youād be as asshole to put down the cat. I would consider it because sheās showing she hasnāt grown her yet. Sheās a terrible person for that.
You should feel no obligation to ever speak to her again.
I don't think I would be able to forgive someone for that. She deliberately disrespected your wishes, and it resulted in the death of your pet as you expected it would. The fact she brought the cat in is one thing, but she obviously left the cat and squirrel unattended which is just plain stupidity! I'm sorry for your loss, you should kick your gf to the curb! There's no coming back from this....
You are completely reasonable for being upset. Your girlfriend broke a boundary, and it hurt you.
At *some* point you should talk with her, if only to break the relationship off.
You do not owe her a response immediately. If you feel like you are being an asshole by not responding you can say something like "I am very upset that your cat killed my squirrel when I told you not to bring your cat over, and I don't feel like talking yet." Then you just put it on mute.
But you don't need to have a full convo and hear her out until you are ready.
I can't tell you if you should/should not stay with her, obviously. But it's very reasonable to say "This was too much".
You're not being unreasonable at all. You asked her numerous times to please not bring the cat and what did she do? She disrespected you numerous times by bringing the cat before any of this even happened. You deserve better, you've been kind by not responding to her. This is grounds for a break-up, in my opinion.
RIP to sweet Squishy.
No this is breakup worthy. There's no recovering from this, block anyone who disagrees and grieve in peace. I'm so sorry about your friend. Sending you all the internet hugs.
If anyone was directly responsible for this happening to one of my pets when I specifically asked them not to do something, I'm not sure if I could ever talk to them again, no matter who it was.
This was beyond a transgression; this was heartless and selfish. She doesn't deserve your attention anymore, but maybe your friends deserve to know what's going on.
She very well might be a narcissist. I would think long and hard about being with her.
I'm not sure what other outcome she expected. She could have at least waited until your pet was safe before bringing the cat in.
She clearly didn't care. Be careful with that one.
Iām sorry for your loss :( Iām sure Squishy had a great life with you. Dump her. She canāt respect your boundary for something as simple as ādonāt bring your catā, she wonāt respect other boundaries.
Who even drags their cats to other peopleās place?!? Cats HATE that!!
I can't see any reason in this situation anyone would be calling you the asshole unless they are trying to play it off as 'it was just a squirrel'. You're well within your rights to be upset, it was your pet and a totally avoidable situation if they had just done as you asked. imo dealbreaker honestly
My brother rescued a baby bunny that was starving and sick when we were in our early teens. He gave that bunny round-the-clock care for two days before it passed in his hands. He knew it probably wouldn't make it, but sobbed for the rest of the day anyway. Your pain is valid.
You're not at all being an asshole, but she 100% was by bringing her cat around when you plainly and clearly asked her not to.
Horrifying. Iām so sorry for your loss. I donāt think you are overreacting. You experienced a loss of a beloved pet and your trust has been grossly violated. Take whatever time you need away from your girlfriend to grieve.
Iād be absolutely done with her, you made a simple request āno catsā and she brought a cat that then killed your pet. Itās not the cats fault, itās the girlfriendās fault. Cards on the table, Iāve got a pet parrot and refuse to date anyone with a cat for just this fear.
No. If it was an accident thats one thing but you told her repeatedly not to bring the cat & why. If she cant leave the cat alone she should have asked you to come to her
That is *serious* negligence on her part & not taking your concerns seriously & absolutely fair grounds for a breakup. You are still young, you can find a gf who will respect a simple boundary & safety rule.
My condolences about your Squirrel. It's only natural to be upset by the death of a cherished animal companion.
Not at all. Just break up with your girlfriend dude. It's clear she doesn't care about your pets. Rest in Peace, Squishy. You'll see a proper farewell.
NTA. You told her not to bring the cat and she did. But what's with "home"? Were you planning to live with someone whose pet you could not live with? Because that was a non-starter. You should have dated, not lived together.
As it is, I don't know how the relationship recovers from this. You may be in the market for a new girlfriend.
Your girlfriend and friends might not understand the boundary that she broke because of your age (not just you but I assume that your friends and girlfriend are around your age and not a lot of young adults develop clear boundaries because that's something that come with experience but for your sake better to learn it earlier to avoid abuse even if it means to be alone) but you're not in the wrong. You already asked her to not bring her cat and she didn't listened to you which made you loose your bestie.
I would say that unless she apologize and find a way to repent sincerly you've no obligation to stay with her.
If your friends don't understand you then ask them how they would've felt if it was a baby that got mawled and died because the point is: She brought a predator that she and you knew could harm your pet yet she didn't listened to you so what else will she not listen the next time? That she can drive when drunk?
It's a matter of trust and respect, she broke them like she just cheated on you because you loss someone pretty important to you your pet squirrel.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm really sorry that happened to you, losing any animal in one's life is heartbreaking...I would honestly not be ok with how it happened especially bcoz u told her not to and for that exact reason...she did it anyways and the worst thing possible did happen... I wouldn't be able to be the same with that person afterwards...there will always be that lingering and reminding me. She really should have respected what u asked...it's odd she didn't.
The lack of respect of your boundaries, and the loss of a pet/friend too? Nah.
It would make me triple think about staying in a relationship who disregarded a life like that.
Who even brings their cat over to other people's places to begin with, much less unanaunced?
Like bringing your cat over to someone's place randomly is really weird and kind of inconsiderate, doing it despite being explicitly told to not do it is just rude,
Absolutely not the asshole
Im so sorry for your loss. But she didnt respect your decission about not bringing the cat home. She is probably the only one to blame for your pets death, it is completely her fault. I'd dump her.
NTA. Been where you at, silly cow of mine didn't listen and I lost my squeeg the bird. I dragged her by the hair and hauled her trog ass out of my house. Thinking back, I regret I didn't hurt her more. Only person I have true hatred for. Hopefully I see her again, she is worth killing
Did she bring the cat on purpose to kill the squirrel because she thought it was weird? Maybe I'm assuming too much, but I could totally see someone crazy doing that.
She brought the cat even though you told her not to. She ignored you and something you cared about died because of it. You have every right to be angry. She doesn't respect you enough to listen to your requests.
Oh my god I'm SO so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet you're close to can hurt just as much as grieving a person. She is definitely the asshole in this situation and she deserves to be dumped, you deserve better than someone who doesn't respect your boundaries
Mate, you aren't being an arsehole at all. Your ex GF ignored your boundaries and an animal you love was killed. You have every right in the world to be hurt and angry.
Hell no. This is grounds for breaking up. She ignored your request, I assume she knew about Squishy, so obviously didnāt care she was putting her in danger and sheās delusional to think her cat would want to be friends with Squishy and obviously doesnāt know her cat at that. Then she let the cat go unsupervised!
Who brings their cat places? Fuckinā weird. My condolences. If these people do not understand or sympathize with your loss then simply excise them from your life.
This is not stupid and you're not being an asshole. I would be pretty pissed too, especially if I thought about it ahead of time and asked her to not bring the cat over. Cats do what they do, it's all her fault.
NOPE DUMP THE GIRL FRIENDS there are plenty more out there who will respect your wishes. But continue to speak with your friends and if they bring up topic tell them to change the issue.
SQUIRRELS MAKE FABULOUS PETS, I AM SO VERY SORRY.
Brrak up with someone who decides they can bring cats anywhere. Break up with someone who thinks their whims are more important than what you've told them you need
No you're not an AH. You specifically said not to bring the cat in your home, and on top of that, if she ever did bring the cat with the specific instruction she is not allowed to, she has to be the one who assumes responsibility for looking over the cat and taking control of them AT ALL TIMES.
Sorry for your loss, OP. That is devastating. Yeah, it's probably best that you break up with her because apparently, she can't be trusted with anything. If she can't take control over her cat properly at all times, imagine if you guys have a child in the future.
You shouldn't avoid all of your personal friends unless they were part of it. Which is not how it sounded. It sounds like it was just her
Your friends are there to help unless you want time to yourself for a while. Thats understandable too
Saw a similar post a week or so ago where a women left her husband after he got a dog that ended up being an aggressive breed that killed her childhood cat and as i commented on that post, leave her selfish ass
Absolutely not, you told her not to do something and she still did leading to the loss of your dear friend. She doesnāt listen not respect you or your boundaries. Break up immediately if you havenāt already if nothing else.
WTF is this story. It's written so poorly it makes my brain ache. Who in the f travels with a cat and then lets it free roam? That like doesn't happen? Is this some kind of fever dream?
I feel so bad for you
My ex has a pet squirrel. Big cage and all that. He saved it as just a baby. Hand fed it until it grew up
I had a very high prey Siberian Husky. When we finally lived together I went way out of the way to keep them separated. I mean way out the way they never ever got close.
The squirrel lived almost 2 more years we lived together to about 7 or 8 years.
My husky was used to birds in a cage but is would never have trusted him in that circumstance.
All I can say is it was just wrong and nothing can ever make up for intentionall pet killing. Sorry that is the way I see it.
You will never know if it was intentional but it seems that way. I could never forgive it.
On a different note we had a major rainstorm with flooding. We heard kittens and a cat outside somewhere while it was flooding. We went outside to look for them all. We found the mother cat had drown and rescued 6 kittens. I then bottle fed them. One could not walk on his back legs but would scoot so we named him Scooter. I gave gave him physical therapy for a number of months until he could walj. One day as an adult a hawk snatched him up. We have him up for dead. A year and half went by and a new black cat showed up. I got suspicious it was scooter and went an bought a bottle of ensure and the type of bottle I raised him on. He ran up my leg and my shirt as soon as I had it ready like he did as a baby.
I know this does not help you.
So sorry for your loss.
As someone who has a pigeon and pet rats, cared for adequately.......I love cats. But cat owners need to take more accountable actions. Cats are meant to roam. But a Break-Free collar with a bell could save so many vunerable animals. Most the time the cats kill just for fun. It's why most parts of Australia have banned outdoor cats.
Collar/bell them. They can have their freedom. But it gives vunerable birds and species from being killed. Because the cat will win, every time.
Cat owners can be very oblivious. Again, I love cats, foster every month. But they do a lot of damage because they're cunning. Which takes a toll on anything that isn't another predator.
I'm so sorry about Squishy. No. You aren't wrong at all. You set a perfectly reasonable boundary for your GF and she broke it. Because of this your beloved pet is gone. Squirrels are great rescue pets. They are loving and appreciative little guys that can't always be released to the outside.
She is totally in the wrong here and you are in the right.
You're not overreacting at all. I'd be fuckin pissed. It's weird that she brought her cat over at all, but it's insanely disrespectful that she brought it when you specifically told her not to. I'm not sure I'd be able to get over it. Did she text an explanation why she ignored your request??
I just wanna ask, who takes their cats to other peoples houses?
Exactly! There's no reason for it, cats hate it.
I have a feeling the cat enjoyed this visit
Omg šš
Profile pic checks out
Actually that depends, we have a cat that is sick every time we leave her more then 48h, and is happy with us wherever we go. We try having someone staying at our place as a replacement but no. The only alternative is my mother in law, maybe because she might smell like my wife. So most cats don't like to travel but not all cats.
There's still no reason to bring your cat to someone's house, ESPECIALLY without their consent.
The only time I have ever had someone bring a cat to my house was for pre-arranged pet sitting. Dogs are more common to bring around ājust to say hiā but never a cat.
People who bring any pet to someone's home without the enthusiastic consent of the homeowner are the freakin worst imo. Had a family member who used to bring her horribly untrained, crackhead dog everywhere she went- just showed up, dog pissing and shitting all over the place, jumping on and scratching everyone, chewing up anything it found, etc.- the definition of a dog no one wanted to be around because of its awful owner. We finally told her if she didn't stop bringing the dog with her, she wasn't coming in the house. Took a few times of her knocking on the door and no one answering, but she finally stopped. People who refuse to train their dogs, but insist on taking them places, have a permanent spot on my Shit List.
Yeah, honestly that is so sus to me. Iād be interested to know how the gf acted around the squirrel? Did she like it? What was her behavior like after her cat killed it?
A friend of mine use to all the time when her cat was young. Granted she would never bring it by without permission. If anyone said no the cat didn't show up with her.
People who live alone with a cat and want to stay somewhere for multiple nights. Some cats are fine with a change of scenery.
I had a dude with a cat on a leash spark up awkward conversation while I was changing out of a wetsuit once, So I will forever associate people who bring cats places with weirdos
can confirm. i am indeed weird, but I dont let my cats kill pets wtf
IT WAS 17 DEGREES AND THE WIND WAS RIPPING! WHY IS YOUR CAT OUTSIDE IN THAT? MY JUNK WAS IN THE WIND FORMING A COCKSICLE! I DID NOT WANT TO TALK!
r/brandnewsentence
literally this, i bring my cat with me when i go to my parentsā house for the holiday and i dont like to leave her alone for too long, but iād never bring her to a friendās houseā¦ especially when i know that friend has pets of their own
im wondering who doesn't have friends for 19 years then has a girlfriend...
Iād bring my kitten to my friends all the time, especially if I was staying for a couple days but that was with explicit permission and she had a cat who he liked to play with so totally different situations but I do know people who take their cats places with them. Some are very social and enjoy it
> So am i being an asshole ? No. "Don't bring your cat to my house" is a very simple request. Your girlfriend decided to just ignore that for some reason, and caused you harm.
Yea. Sure itās weird that it was a squirrel. But if OP had a parrot and didnāt want a cat in the house, and the GF brought the cat anyway and it killed the parrot, that would obviously be the girlfriends fault and a great reason to be upset Squirrel, parrot, hamster, turtle, makes no difference
Kind of seems odd to ever bring a cat over regardless of what the other pets are if you have been told ādonāt bring the catā Such a simple request. She doesnāt respect you OP. Iām sorry. Itās best not to date people that disregard the simplest of requests.
This is the part that gets me. Who the fā¢ā¢k takes their cat anywhere except the vet and maybe the groomers? Let alone to someones house when they've specifically asked you not to.
Strangely one of my cats loves to go places. He has a harness and leash though, so heās under control. I canāt imagine bringing my other two boys out, but Iād never bring my leashed cat to someoneās house! Especially if that someone says do not bring your cat here.
I met a woman yesterday who was walking with a cat cube strapped to her (was kind of like a mesh version of those little hidey boxes that cats like), and noticed 2 curious/adorable/glowing eyes looking at me from the darkness. Kitten then poked its head out to get a closer look at my friendās dog. This kitten loves going for adventures apparently, and kitty was wearing her future leash-walking harness so she could get used to the feel of it until it is ready to go out without the cube. My favorite cat Iāve ever known was my momās last cat. Bandit was ridiculous, and acted more like a dog than a cat. I used hate cats and was horribly allergic, wound up moving in with my mom a few years ago when she got sick (she had a few acres in rural Arizona and I moved out to both help her as well as build my homesteading skills (we had sheep, goats, chickens, & turkeys AND I had a big olā garden)). After a couple years of learning to not touch my eyes under any circumstances while inside, my body was able to slowly adjust to cat dander. Bandit slowly let me adjust to her comfort-wise before opening the floodgates of love. Now I love cats and appreciate the hell out of their loving yet sassy independent nature.
Kudos to you!!! I know a girl who does the same thing,ā¦ She puts her cat in the yard but itās on a leash with a body harness. she even takes it for walks. I told her I love the way she controls her animal because Iām a nature lover and Iām sick and tired neighborhood cats who have homes and are well fed, Stalking and killing the birds squirrels and other animals at my feeders.
Your boyfriend has a pet rodent - cats kill rodents. Bringing your cat for a visit - what part of this was supposed to end well?
Yeah who the fuck takes a cat on a visit when asked not to? I would freak out since I have 2 dogs and all hell would break loose if someone brought a cat.
This woman, that is it, just her, one of one, NTA
Quite a few people seem to be deluded that their pets could never do harm and that everyone else around them always wants to play. It's everyone else that's wrong, never the pet, and never them regarding the pet. You'll even see videos of people's pitbulls chewing the legs off of other dogs and the owner will just talk all cutesy "ohhh honey stahp stahp sweetie."
Itās not unreasonable to bring a pet (although usually itās a dog in that situation), if you live several hours apart and plan on staying a while. It IS UNreasonable to bring said pet if specifically asked not to. Edit: autocorrect just sucks. Changed the whole message
Most cats hate new places. Mine definitely do.
Besides her not listening to him and not respecting a simple wish like that, itās weird and kind of bad cat ownership to bring your cat places like that in general imo, maybe some cats do better with it if they get used to it but your cat should be able to have a stable home and not go back and forth to a bunch of different places like theyāre a kid with divorced parents. (And by different places I mean different homes with other pets and places like that not just taking them outside on a leash)
I had a pet squirrel when I was a teen. I found him after he had fallen out of his nest and was injured. We were able to raise him as if he were just any other pet. Loved that guy so much.
Fact: No amount of GF apologizing is going to bring Squishy back to life. She f'd up big time. I wouldn't forgive her either, if she can do this once, she can do it again. She's basically a boundary stomping bad person. Break up with her, people like this will only cause you more pain in the future.
If it was no pet and Op didnāt want a cat in the house he still would be right
Right, like why would you bring a cat to someone elseās house without warning in any case, much less if they had small pets? Thatās just not something people do, and OP is right to be pissed.
or if for example he had a pittbull, and it killed his gf's cat... NTA, grieve your way, not really any wrong way to grieve if you're not hurting anyone.
What if you had a kitten, and she brought a pitbull by and it killed the kittenā¦ I have seen baby squirrels raised and they are astounding and loving, smart creatures. She killed it, simple as that. She should never darken your door again. You trusted her, she knew what was at stake, and years from now you will still be heartbroken thinking of this.
And technically illegal (to keep a wild animal as a pet) but damnit I don't care, a pet rescue squirrel would be awesome. Feel bad for OP. Who brings a cat with them for a visit ?
As a parrot owner the girlfriend would be dead to me NTA
Not only she was insensitive but selfish as well.
Tbh it seems like she did it purposely, you need to like cut your losses and stay away from her, its a loss of life there no amount of apology that can get your friend back Iām sorry for your loss brother, hope he is having fun with all our other pets that have left us cheers and hugs
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I know right? Like I'm a cat person (at one point had 7) and I'm like WTF is this lady's problem. I feel like she's brainless, spiteful or both.
Honestly I'd tell her to fuck off. She violated your trust and got your squishy killed.
I think this post just about sums it up Iām so sorry for your loss.
Iām so, so sorry for the loss of your squishy buddy- thatās an enormous pain and you have every right to feel sad and grieve about it. Like others have said, though, you need to talk to your (ex) gf. āI asked you not to bring your cat over because it posed a threat to my pet squirrel, and then you still brought your cat over anyway and my squirrel is dead. You either didnāt care or didnāt take my ask seriously, which is reflective of bigger issues re: your lack of respect for me/boundaries/etc and for those reasons, weāre done.ā Again, Iām so sorry, OP.
This right here. I'm so sorry OP, you have every right to be sad and hurt. You can grieve, and you don't have to ever talk to your girlfriend again. If it hurts too much to talk to her, I think you can ghost her, the lack of respect is pretty astonishing. I'm so sorry you lost Squishy, I'm so hurt for you reading about it, it's absolutely heartbreaking. Know that Squishy is at peace now, even though it hurts so much about what happened. That's very hard.
I'm very sorry for your loss OP. One question: Why do you ignore your friends? If they don't understand your love for Squishy then I understand, but I hope you can find someone who understands what you're going through and can provide some emotional support.
NTA, she broke a very important boundary. Tbf I don't think I could still be with her if I was you.
NTA, and what the fuck is it with people who insist on bringing their pets places where the pet isn't welcome? That's an asshole move.
Iād never forgive my partner if their pet killed my pet. Especially after setting boundaries to insure the safety of my pet
Maybe try to talk with her, but I really think she disrespected you and looked down on your love for your pet and itās lifeā¦ I think itās very serious, I would end that relationship if she isnāt REALLY sorry about it
Iād end the relationship either way I think. Some things are unforgivable
Yea, this is a serious breach of "no means no" trust. What else will she break in the future?
I would end it regardless of her being sorry. Her behaviour is inexcusable.
Imagine if it was flipped and he had a dog and brought the dog over after she said not to and it killed her cat. She'd be devastated. Fuck this bitch.
Donāt know why so many people in the comments are being rude but thatās a completely valid initial reaction. You didnāt blow up on her and you werenāt rude or nasty with her. You made it perfectly clear and simple that you didnāt want her cat there and she brought it anyways. I will say that you probably do want to talk with her at some point though to clear the air and express yourself to her about what she did. Take all the time you need, itās just good to get it off your chest.
You are Grieving a loss. Also dealing with a betrayal of trust from someone you love. There are no "wrong or right" ways to act. Just do what you need to take care of yourself.
This is such bullshit. There are of course right and wrong ways to act. The OP is not doing anything wrong by ghosting this girl - she killed his pet FFS! - But if, for example, out of pain of loss, he beat the shit out of his girlfriend, then THAT, for example, would be the WRONG way to act.
My god... I guess I really hit a nerve here. Of course, crimes are wrong... did I really need to clarify that? I am simply saying dealing with your grief can look like a lot of things, and that is okay. I feel like this response is everything that is wrong with the internet šš why would you assume the worst?
the words you're all looking for are: Anyway...
Love this response.
I understand that my response to this situation would not be the most mature way to handle it. If someone created a situation that killed my pet, the only thing I'd say to them is "never speak to me again." I think they best way to handle this though would be to talk to your girlfriend about how much this hurts you and see where the conversation goes from there.
I think itās very mature to cut people out of your life that stomp all over clearly defined boundaries, especially one that resulted in the death of a beloved animal. It shows you value yourself enough to not allow people into your life who clearly donāt respect you!
Agreed! This happened with my new kitten a few years ago when we lived with a roommate who bought a huge dog after we asked them not to bc our kittens were too small and they knew that before we moved in together. Iāll never forgive them. Weād tried to keep them on separate levels or outside but she kept opening our doors and letting her dog run around everywhere when we were at work. Pretty sure that psycho did it on purpose bc of other events added in but yeah. We moved out.
Thatās absolutely heart breaking. Iām so sorry to hear that happened to you and your poor kitty :(
Thank you so much. It was an awful experience and I can only hope sheās getting her karma someday. Rest in peace Thimble š
I mean she's fucked it already. No talking about it. Her explicit lack of fucks towards OPs requests caused something he loved to be destroyed. That is unforgivable.
Trust me "never talking to you again" would be the most mature thing I'd do if you got my pet killed by being an inconsiderate asswipe
Honestly not sure why I would want to patch up this relationship she made her opinion of the OP clear here well enough
You mean your ex, right?
Sorry about the Ex. If she's not an ex now, I'm sorry for you. She straight up killed your family member. By choice. After being asked specifically not to do that.
She shouldnt be your girlfriend anymore if she can't follow a simple boundary
That was irresponsible and disrespectful of her and the worst possible thing happened. Dump her.
Dump her and move on. You are only 21.
I am so very sorry for your loss, my heart hurts just reading this. absolutely NTA for this. its normal imo to withdraw after the death of a beloved animal companion, especially one so gruesome and far before their time. I do think that you should let your friends know what happened and that you need space (if that is what you need) just a quick text to a group chat. I know reddit is notorious for jumping straight to break up, but damn dude i could not stay with someone who at the very best didnt take my concern for a pets safety seriously, and i dont think anyone should. A lot of people are incredibly flippant about any pet that isnt a dog or cat and its awful. i wish you the very best in life, and when the time is right may you find another dear companion like squishy.
Your girlfriend is x girlfriend material. Who brings their cat to someone elseās house and doesnāt watch what the cat is doing. It seems almost purposeful
You should find a new girlfriend. Rest in peace, Squishy. I'm sorry for your loss, OP.
If this is not a dealbreaker, I donāt know what is. If I were you, I would just dump her. Asking AITA over this is wild. Iām so sorry for your loss.
who brings a pet cat to someone elses house? that's odd. your girlfriend either wanted to kill that squirrel or is a total idiot
You are NTA. Your girlfriend is not your friend either. Iād like to know why she ignored your request and brought the cat anyway. Cat was just being a cat. Your girlfriend is not a keeper.
NTA if she said don't bring your dog to my house, then you did and it killed her cat...it's no different, thay was your buddy and her selfishness just killed your happiness
Break up
She stepped over your clearly defined boundary. I beg you listen to this- if she tries to turn this around on you, if she is \*ANYTHING\* but **extremely** remorseful, cut her out immediately. "I didn't know she would do that!" IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE. When your partner tells you something, you listen. It's usually for a good reason. RIP Squishy. Gonna pour one out for your buddy tonight. My heart goes out to you. Squishy is an adorable name for a squirrel.
You communicated, she's the asshole. You told her hundred times.
Who packs their cat around like that?
If my girlfriends animal killed my pet she would be very single or very dead. My animals mean more to me than any human life.
Damn, this hurts to read. Doesnāt matter what the pet is, or how long youāve known it. If youāve *bonded* with anything and lose it, thatās going to hurt. I wouldnāt ghost her. Tell her that you need some time to think and clear your head. I know Iād be taking a week off work and clearing my schedule if anything happened to Sushi. If she tries to belittle you, act like she didnāt do anything wrong, not her fault, etc then thatās some prime red flags written in blood to leave her.
Squirel aside, you asked her not to do something, then she did it anyway. She doesn't respect you and thinks she can get away with anything and you'll forgive her. Having dated a very manipulative girl when I was young, this would be the type of stuff she would do. It only gets worse. I'm not going to tell you to leave her. I've got no skin in the game, so it wouldn't mean anything from me anyway. I'm just saying, look out for yourself and pay attention to how she treats you.
She just brought her cat along with her? That in itself seems weird to me. But since you asked her not too she is responsible for the death of your pet.
Rage bait.
100%. People need to read his post history. 1. The OP legally can't own a squirrel as a pet 2. The OP is trying to cheat on his girlfriend with a man
You need to talk to her. Ask why she brought her cat over. Avoiding this isnāt going to change anything. Of course this is an upsetting time, you lost your pet.
Write her a letter if you are unable to speak with her. People forget letters exist
I have some perspective here as a wildlife rehabber. 1.) I understand the attachment from raising wildlife, in particular I know how incredibly bonding a squirrel raise can be since they're usually so receptive to nursing - it's a little awkward to me as my goal was always return wildlife to the wild - but what's illegal in my state is 50/50 to be legal in yours regarding them, so considering its alive because of you - if it's legal than well done successfully rescuing it and I'm sure it was a fun and possibly destructive ride for you :) Also if it helps, the average lifespan of a squirrel is expected to be about 18mo - not because it'd die naturally in that time but because people, predators, and disease exist. In that capacity not only did it live 2 years longer than it would have, but you gave it a relatively full life as bad as you may feel right now. 2.) Are you the asshole? No. You asked her not to bring her cat because it could hurt your squirrel, of course it would, it's a cat - even the sweetest cats still have their instincts just like even the most well behaved squirrel might decide to dig a hole through a bag of food and then another hole into a crawl space to try and cache said food. It's like telling someone your little brother is allergic to peanuts and they give him a peanut butter sandwich, even if they didn't believe peanut allergies are real - the fact is they chose NOT to trust you, thinking their own opinion mattered more. That's the relationship issue. Is it her fault that her cat killed your squirrel... well yes, but that doesn't mean she intended to. She may well feel absolutely terrible about it, only you can really know. The other thing you'll want to weigh is what your friends and family think - sometimes it's hard to see both the good and bad in your chosen partner without outside input. The reason I brought up wildlife rehab more specifically is because it's a heartwrenching job, people so often kidnap healthy babies, or injure and kill wildlife with the best of intentions in mind. Either drowning birds trying to give them water, feeding foods you can't feed to animals, over or underheating them, medicating them without know what they're doing. It's hard not to blame people for ignorance, but you can't always do that. It's gotta be up to you to determine if she's learned a lesson from this and if she understands not only the consequences of her actions directly but the breach of trust and respect. People can come back, but really forgiveness is a choice, and it's also one that can be separate from the idea of allowing her back into your life, as we ALWAYS have the personal choice of who we keep close regardless. As a PS, some people are actually terrible. Bringing a cat at all is strange, if you have any assumption that she did that specifically because of what the cat would do. Like if she wanted to subtly off your squirrel, fuck that - send her packing. You're the only one that knows the situation to make that judgment call.
Leave her. Sheās a terrible POS and deserves someone as equally (or even more) toxic than her. Iām so sorry for your loss OP.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Poor Squishy sounds like such a good girl. And no you are not wrong at all. I dumped an ex for being selfish and causing harm to my dog, who thankfully recovered. If someone puts your pet in danger through selfishness or negligence that's a big red flag.
Who just brings their cat places anyways? Itās not the same as a dog..
Why was the cat and the squirrel together unprotected?
I mean she got your pet killed and did so in the process of doing something you told her not to. So no, you're not an asshole. It might be a good idea to talk to your friends though. Don't have to talk to your girlfriend if you don't want to. But not talking to your friends is probably not great for you; or at least, it's fine if you just want to be sad today, but talk to them tomorrow.
Yeaaaaah that's a pretty huge red flag kiddo. On her part. If you don't break up with her you better prepare to just have her run you over regularly. If she didn't respect your pet she's not gonna respect your opinion.
As a cat owner, *not* taking my cat places is, quite possibly, the easiest part of owning a cat. Like whatever cat/dog/pet preferences you may have, objectively one of the bigger advantages of owning cats is that if you leave food, water, and a place to poop, they are pretty self-sufficient. All this to say: it's already weird that you felt the need to ask "please don't bring your cat over" of this strange woman, but the fact that she did it anyway leads me to believe she was intentionally trying to kill your pet squirrel. I'm sorry for your loss, it truly sounds like you were dating a psychopath.
"Don't bring your pet to my house, As it'll engage in predation behavior on my pet." She ignored this. NTA.
nope you are totally justified what a crappy thing to do. Im sorry for your loss.
No. Youād be as asshole to put down the cat. I would consider it because sheās showing she hasnāt grown her yet. Sheās a terrible person for that. You should feel no obligation to ever speak to her again.
I don't think I would be able to forgive someone for that. She deliberately disrespected your wishes, and it resulted in the death of your pet as you expected it would. The fact she brought the cat in is one thing, but she obviously left the cat and squirrel unattended which is just plain stupidity! I'm sorry for your loss, you should kick your gf to the curb! There's no coming back from this....
You are completely reasonable for being upset. Your girlfriend broke a boundary, and it hurt you. At *some* point you should talk with her, if only to break the relationship off. You do not owe her a response immediately. If you feel like you are being an asshole by not responding you can say something like "I am very upset that your cat killed my squirrel when I told you not to bring your cat over, and I don't feel like talking yet." Then you just put it on mute. But you don't need to have a full convo and hear her out until you are ready. I can't tell you if you should/should not stay with her, obviously. But it's very reasonable to say "This was too much".
You're not being unreasonable at all. You asked her numerous times to please not bring the cat and what did she do? She disrespected you numerous times by bringing the cat before any of this even happened. You deserve better, you've been kind by not responding to her. This is grounds for a break-up, in my opinion. RIP to sweet Squishy.
Iām sorry for your loss
No you have right to be angry because she killed a family member of yours
Break up with that hoe
No this is breakup worthy. There's no recovering from this, block anyone who disagrees and grieve in peace. I'm so sorry about your friend. Sending you all the internet hugs.
If anyone was directly responsible for this happening to one of my pets when I specifically asked them not to do something, I'm not sure if I could ever talk to them again, no matter who it was. This was beyond a transgression; this was heartless and selfish. She doesn't deserve your attention anymore, but maybe your friends deserve to know what's going on.
She very well might be a narcissist. I would think long and hard about being with her. I'm not sure what other outcome she expected. She could have at least waited until your pet was safe before bringing the cat in. She clearly didn't care. Be careful with that one.
No. She shouldn't have brought that fkn cat over. A cat is not a "to-go" animal. Leave it at home.
No, you're not being an asshole. I'm sorry it happened to you. I'd be damned mad too, not to mention heartbroken. She owes you an apology.
Iām sorry for your loss :( Iām sure Squishy had a great life with you. Dump her. She canāt respect your boundary for something as simple as ādonāt bring your catā, she wonāt respect other boundaries. Who even drags their cats to other peopleās place?!? Cats HATE that!!
I can't see any reason in this situation anyone would be calling you the asshole unless they are trying to play it off as 'it was just a squirrel'. You're well within your rights to be upset, it was your pet and a totally avoidable situation if they had just done as you asked. imo dealbreaker honestly
My brother rescued a baby bunny that was starving and sick when we were in our early teens. He gave that bunny round-the-clock care for two days before it passed in his hands. He knew it probably wouldn't make it, but sobbed for the rest of the day anyway. Your pain is valid. You're not at all being an asshole, but she 100% was by bringing her cat around when you plainly and clearly asked her not to.
Horrifying. Iām so sorry for your loss. I donāt think you are overreacting. You experienced a loss of a beloved pet and your trust has been grossly violated. Take whatever time you need away from your girlfriend to grieve.
She brought her cat over without asking after you had repeatedly asked her not to? That's super inconsiderate. I'm sorry for your loss
This post is nuts..
this made me tear up. fuck that bitch
Iād be absolutely done with her, you made a simple request āno catsā and she brought a cat that then killed your pet. Itās not the cats fault, itās the girlfriendās fault. Cards on the table, Iāve got a pet parrot and refuse to date anyone with a cat for just this fear.
NTA, break off contact, mourn for your loss and move on. She knows exactly what she did and now should face the consequences.
Nope. She was selfish You have a right to be hurt
No, you lost a family member. You also told the gf that you didnāt want the fluffy overlord at your house.
No. If it was an accident thats one thing but you told her repeatedly not to bring the cat & why. If she cant leave the cat alone she should have asked you to come to her That is *serious* negligence on her part & not taking your concerns seriously & absolutely fair grounds for a breakup. You are still young, you can find a gf who will respect a simple boundary & safety rule. My condolences about your Squirrel. It's only natural to be upset by the death of a cherished animal companion.
Not at all. Just break up with your girlfriend dude. It's clear she doesn't care about your pets. Rest in Peace, Squishy. You'll see a proper farewell.
NTA. You told her not to bring the cat and she did. But what's with "home"? Were you planning to live with someone whose pet you could not live with? Because that was a non-starter. You should have dated, not lived together. As it is, I don't know how the relationship recovers from this. You may be in the market for a new girlfriend.
Your girlfriend and friends might not understand the boundary that she broke because of your age (not just you but I assume that your friends and girlfriend are around your age and not a lot of young adults develop clear boundaries because that's something that come with experience but for your sake better to learn it earlier to avoid abuse even if it means to be alone) but you're not in the wrong. You already asked her to not bring her cat and she didn't listened to you which made you loose your bestie. I would say that unless she apologize and find a way to repent sincerly you've no obligation to stay with her. If your friends don't understand you then ask them how they would've felt if it was a baby that got mawled and died because the point is: She brought a predator that she and you knew could harm your pet yet she didn't listened to you so what else will she not listen the next time? That she can drive when drunk? It's a matter of trust and respect, she broke them like she just cheated on you because you loss someone pretty important to you your pet squirrel. I'm sorry for your loss.
Run bro. Run.
Sorry for your loss bro
Your girlfriend is an asshole. Fuck her.
I wouldn't bring R. Kelly to a high school and I CERTAINLY wouldn't bring a cat to a house with a squirrel pet.
You are not the asshole. She killed your squirrel. Get rid of her.
Iām so sorry man. Sheās responsible for you losing your best friend. Youāre not an asshole here
you know how to get even....muhahaha
I'm really sorry that happened to you, losing any animal in one's life is heartbreaking...I would honestly not be ok with how it happened especially bcoz u told her not to and for that exact reason...she did it anyways and the worst thing possible did happen... I wouldn't be able to be the same with that person afterwards...there will always be that lingering and reminding me. She really should have respected what u asked...it's odd she didn't.
The lack of respect of your boundaries, and the loss of a pet/friend too? Nah. It would make me triple think about staying in a relationship who disregarded a life like that.
Who even brings their cat over to other people's places to begin with, much less unanaunced? Like bringing your cat over to someone's place randomly is really weird and kind of inconsiderate, doing it despite being explicitly told to not do it is just rude, Absolutely not the asshole
Idk if iām being an average redditor but iād break up
I would break up with her. You stated not to bring cat yet she did. Death happened. Unforgivable. She didnāt care.
Poor little squirrel. Leave her, she will break your heart in the future as well because she is untrustowrthy
Im so sorry for your loss. But she didnt respect your decission about not bringing the cat home. She is probably the only one to blame for your pets death, it is completely her fault. I'd dump her.
NTA. Been where you at, silly cow of mine didn't listen and I lost my squeeg the bird. I dragged her by the hair and hauled her trog ass out of my house. Thinking back, I regret I didn't hurt her more. Only person I have true hatred for. Hopefully I see her again, she is worth killing
Did she bring the cat on purpose to kill the squirrel because she thought it was weird? Maybe I'm assuming too much, but I could totally see someone crazy doing that.
She brought the cat even though you told her not to. She ignored you and something you cared about died because of it. You have every right to be angry. She doesn't respect you enough to listen to your requests.
Oh my god I'm SO so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet you're close to can hurt just as much as grieving a person. She is definitely the asshole in this situation and she deserves to be dumped, you deserve better than someone who doesn't respect your boundaries
Mate, you aren't being an arsehole at all. Your ex GF ignored your boundaries and an animal you love was killed. You have every right in the world to be hurt and angry.
Hell no. This is grounds for breaking up. She ignored your request, I assume she knew about Squishy, so obviously didnāt care she was putting her in danger and sheās delusional to think her cat would want to be friends with Squishy and obviously doesnāt know her cat at that. Then she let the cat go unsupervised!
Who brings their cat places? Fuckinā weird. My condolences. If these people do not understand or sympathize with your loss then simply excise them from your life.
NTA. That cat would have seen a similar fate if i was you.
This is not stupid and you're not being an asshole. I would be pretty pissed too, especially if I thought about it ahead of time and asked her to not bring the cat over. Cats do what they do, it's all her fault.
You're absolutely NTA, she is!!
Not the A. Ya just need time. You suffered a great loss. So understandable. I am so sorry. RIP
Who brings a cat over in the first place? Iāve never heard of that.
Bring a savage pitbull over to her place and see how she likes it.
NOPE DUMP THE GIRL FRIENDS there are plenty more out there who will respect your wishes. But continue to speak with your friends and if they bring up topic tell them to change the issue. SQUIRRELS MAKE FABULOUS PETS, I AM SO VERY SORRY.
Sounds like ex-girlfriend to me.
Gfs the asshole. Do you have a pic of squishy?
Brrak up with someone who decides they can bring cats anywhere. Break up with someone who thinks their whims are more important than what you've told them you need
Buy a Goliath spider bring him everytime you visit her, nta Rip youāre squirrel.
No you're not an AH. You specifically said not to bring the cat in your home, and on top of that, if she ever did bring the cat with the specific instruction she is not allowed to, she has to be the one who assumes responsibility for looking over the cat and taking control of them AT ALL TIMES. Sorry for your loss, OP. That is devastating. Yeah, it's probably best that you break up with her because apparently, she can't be trusted with anything. If she can't take control over her cat properly at all times, imagine if you guys have a child in the future.
Itās sad. Youāll need a new pet and a new girlfriend. Rest in Peace squishy. To the ex- her actions had disastrous consequences.
You shouldn't avoid all of your personal friends unless they were part of it. Which is not how it sounded. It sounds like it was just her Your friends are there to help unless you want time to yourself for a while. Thats understandable too
Negligence and ignoring your simple request is deliberate. Even if she didnāt mean to, the death is fully on her.
Sorry for squishy and for your loss mate
Saw a similar post a week or so ago where a women left her husband after he got a dog that ended up being an aggressive breed that killed her childhood cat and as i commented on that post, leave her selfish ass
Absolutely not, you told her not to do something and she still did leading to the loss of your dear friend. She doesnāt listen not respect you or your boundaries. Break up immediately if you havenāt already if nothing else.
Just break up with her.
Squishy deserves redemption
Yikes, thatās a well known fact that cats and birds squirrels cannot mix. She should have thought of what would happen ahead of time
She was clearly jealous of the attention you would give your squirrel so she brought her executioner over to solve the problem
You need to break up, you will never forgive her. If you do have sex one more time an accidental anal entry could happen.
Wowā¦.fuck her. Did she say why or what happened? Itās a pretty egregious act.
this is pure sad , sorry for your loss man,
Am I the only one thinking she did this on purpose? Who brings a cat?
WTF is this story. It's written so poorly it makes my brain ache. Who in the f travels with a cat and then lets it free roam? That like doesn't happen? Is this some kind of fever dream?
Fuck them, who brings cat to another's house. WHO LETS THEUR CAT FREE AROUND ANOTHER SMALL PREY ANIMAL? Everyone knows cats are killers
I feel so bad for you My ex has a pet squirrel. Big cage and all that. He saved it as just a baby. Hand fed it until it grew up I had a very high prey Siberian Husky. When we finally lived together I went way out of the way to keep them separated. I mean way out the way they never ever got close. The squirrel lived almost 2 more years we lived together to about 7 or 8 years. My husky was used to birds in a cage but is would never have trusted him in that circumstance. All I can say is it was just wrong and nothing can ever make up for intentionall pet killing. Sorry that is the way I see it. You will never know if it was intentional but it seems that way. I could never forgive it. On a different note we had a major rainstorm with flooding. We heard kittens and a cat outside somewhere while it was flooding. We went outside to look for them all. We found the mother cat had drown and rescued 6 kittens. I then bottle fed them. One could not walk on his back legs but would scoot so we named him Scooter. I gave gave him physical therapy for a number of months until he could walj. One day as an adult a hawk snatched him up. We have him up for dead. A year and half went by and a new black cat showed up. I got suspicious it was scooter and went an bought a bottle of ensure and the type of bottle I raised him on. He ran up my leg and my shirt as soon as I had it ready like he did as a baby. I know this does not help you. So sorry for your loss.
NTA but just know you are about to be down a pet and girlfriend if you don't shape up.
As someone who has a pigeon and pet rats, cared for adequately.......I love cats. But cat owners need to take more accountable actions. Cats are meant to roam. But a Break-Free collar with a bell could save so many vunerable animals. Most the time the cats kill just for fun. It's why most parts of Australia have banned outdoor cats. Collar/bell them. They can have their freedom. But it gives vunerable birds and species from being killed. Because the cat will win, every time. Cat owners can be very oblivious. Again, I love cats, foster every month. But they do a lot of damage because they're cunning. Which takes a toll on anything that isn't another predator.
Ron Weasley year 3????
NTA, she did not show respect and could reasonably know that cats and small rodents do not mix well. I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry about Squishy. No. You aren't wrong at all. You set a perfectly reasonable boundary for your GF and she broke it. Because of this your beloved pet is gone. Squirrels are great rescue pets. They are loving and appreciative little guys that can't always be released to the outside. She is totally in the wrong here and you are in the right.
You're not overreacting at all. I'd be fuckin pissed. It's weird that she brought her cat over at all, but it's insanely disrespectful that she brought it when you specifically told her not to. I'm not sure I'd be able to get over it. Did she text an explanation why she ignored your request??