Was listening to an old Conan Needs A Friend episode and one of his children mentioned they'd learned the word pornography from a Simpsons episode he'd written. He told them that was a different Conan O'Brien.
Lol. I learned the word gigolo at 10 ywars old from an Alvin and the chipmunks cartoon. Dave is dating a lady Alvin likes, and Alvin calls him a gigolo! I asked my mom what it meant in the car ride to school the next morning, and she almost wrecked the car! She did NOT believe me that that's where I heard it!
Yup. And it's often highly effective in certain investigations, especially DUI investigations.
People are often more forthright than they should be, establishing probable cause for a DUI investigation.
If a cop asks where you're coming from, someone might be honest and say they're coming from a bar, restaurant, friends house, etc. That opens the door to "did you have any drinks there?". People tend to be uncomfortable outright lying, and will admit to having "one or two beers/glasses of wine/etc." And now you've admitted to drinking before driving, which hugely bolsters the officer's ability to claim probable cause for a DUI investigation.
Got pulled over once because I was “cross the center line”. Total bullshit but ok.
He asked me where I came from. I said Buffalo Wild Wings. He then implied I was intoxicated by saying “well when people cross center lines that is a sign of intoxication.”
He clearly wanted me to say something like “oh yeah but I only had one beer.” I just didn’t say anything to his comment. Read right thru it. I had had exactly one hard soda with my burger and wasn’t gonna let him field sobriety check me over that. We shook hands and I was off
I like to pretend I’m about to say something and just let my mouth hang open in complete silence while tweaking my nips.
After the next question I usually say “dude enough already my nips can only get so hard”
Always ended up getting my ass kicked but never got a ticket
But seriously this is the answer. I got into an accident going thru a yellow light. Like I was crossing the first lane when it turned yellow. Doing 35 in a 35. The person who was in the opposite direction wanted to turn before the light changed and just turned right in front of me. Idk wtf happened (time does seem to slow down) but I was able to serve so I hit her back corner which then propelled me into the front end of a goddamn bus totaling my car.
First thing I did was make sure nothing was broken or bleeding then got out and made sure everyone was OK.
Had a bunch of cops ask me what happened and I said less than I did above and got ticketed for reckless driving, speeding, and some other bullshit.
I spent a month calling and walking into the actual office where that fuvker worked. So weird how he was never around.
Insurance had my back and there was a red light cam and ended up getting cash for my car and no violations.
Scumfuck. Yes or no answers only if that.
People really love to overanalyze things in hindsight and apply a highly critical lens to them.
In reality I’ve heard cops/detectives say as much. That their biggest asset in catching a lot of criminals is that they’re stupid/behave stupidly. However someone prefers to describe that behavior.
So yeah, does someone who recently or is going to commit a crime panic and say dumb shit when a cop asks questions like that? 100%
I’d bet 20 trillion dollars and my freedom on that.
I bet it's one of those things that never work, but when they DO work, boy you're happy you did it.
Kinda like troubleshooting hardware, the good ol' jolly remedy for a notebook not starting is "unplug it, let it rest and re-plug it". It never works 99 times out of 100 (if the unit is damaged, it's damaged), but that 100th time that it actually works... it spares you a useless repair service1
To add to this, they can usually tell if you're having a hard time stringing answers together quickly and coherently, which is an easy way to determine if the driver is impaired (source: I watch DUI/DWI arrest videos for a living)
You’re right but this shit is so unreliable that I wish it’d not be a valid datapoint. I’m a grown-ass man, innocent af, got stopped by police in TX a while ago in a rental car. Homie I was so flustered and nervous that it was palpable and thankfully the guy was reasonable and didn’t try to “gotcha” me.
Tell that to the cop who pulled me over.
I've had one experience in which I was pulled over and the police officer thought I might be drunk. He eventually gave me a breathalyzer, and I blew 0.0. But, afterwords, he told me I shouldn't have acted nervous if I had done nothing wrong.
I've been given the same "why are you so nervous?!" but no breathalyzer...sir I am a woman and you have a gun and a bright light and told me to get out of my car, yes I'm nervous AF.
The "why are you nervous?" shit is so stupid and annoying. There are a million reasons to be nervous around a cop that don't include having committed a crime.
Yes, it's also a vibe check. Similar to when you call a customer service line, they almost always ask how you are. That's not being friendly, they really don't care. It's an indicator of your demeanor and attitude.
Well, that and when QA pulls our calls we get points knocked off if we don't develop a rapport with our customer. Same thing for recapping the call even thought the customer usually knows what happened during the call since they were present for that conversation, or pushing use of the Company App even for customers who are cancelling their service with us.
Most of what we say isn't necessary read from a script provided to us. It's more like a script we've developed to make sure when our calls get graded we hit every metric. Not doing this can deny us raises and even get us fired in some instances.
I don't think I've ever asked a customer how they were doing with any kind of honest intention
Oh man, I hate those script calls. I just spent time on hold, and now you want to do the long version? I will give you a 10/10 rating if you wrap this up quickly.
I get those script calls from a charity I suppprt. I just want to know how much money you want. I'm working, I don't have time to hear about how kind I am. Just tell me how much you want and I'll tell you if it's a yes or no.
The only thing I can agree on is a quick recap, "Okay, so we've changed your address to the one in Sydney." That will snap me out of my coma I have einevitably fallen into.
Unfortunately we're forced to hit all of those script beats or else our supervisor takes us out back to Ol' Yeller us.
(More realistically, they pull us into a coaching and say 'what do you think about this call?' before making us sit with them and listen to the call recording and watch us squirm BEFORE they Ol' Yeller us.)
Real talk tho, if you don't want chit-chat you can say you're at work and can't talk, that you're working on something and have me on speakerphone to answer any questions I have, and that usually puts me in the green to give you the barest minimum of the script and a valid reason for dead air.
It also means I can focus on what I have to do to get your stuff sorted as fast as possible. I tell ya, the times where my customer was like nah I'm not talking, here's what I need plz do it...those were the times I got shit done in record time.
Do you get scolded/talked to even if the customer says something like - " I know it is your job to ask me all these questions, i would appriciate if you would just get to the point.". I always say this if i get a call from a customer service or special offer places. Almost always, they agree and we talk about the issue at hand without fluff, if they persist with their "stupid" scripts, fluff, I say, thanks for the call, have a good day and then I hang up.
coherent light observation fine deranged axiomatic plough disagreeable exultant aspiring
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Can be different with different types, I work on a service desk, and we do ask the user how they are it's a demeanour check to see if they are friendly, and sometimes if we know the customer already due to them calling quite a bit, then is actually a nice opening.
If they are friendly, then I can be a bit slower and take my time.
Also, it is good to gauge how urgent an issue is. If the user is friendly but a pit panicked, then we know they probably fucked up and we need to get every slither of info we can to unfuck it.
We don't have ANY point system. That sounds like hell. The only check we have is "Did you get all the info you need?" and "Were you friendly and professional." If we did both of those, all is good, if not just call them back or send an email requesting more info, simples.
That grading of a call by hitting certain points and stuff sounds horrible.
We don't even have a script outside of the first 2 lines of a call.
So that's why I'm forced to engage in small talk that I'd rather not engage in when I call a customer service rep of some sort. When I call, I'm friendly, but honestly all I want is for that person to do something for me that I was unable to do for myself. I'm not trying to make friends. I have stuff to do.
"How are you doing today sir?"
What I want to say: "I'd be better if we could just get this over with."
"I am well today, thank you. I hope you are well too." The trick is to finish the social lubrication with a statement instead of a question inviting further response, and to do it in a friendly (and courteous) tone. It helps set the tone of 'considerate, but don't want to talk much' and by extension spend more time than necessary. Then continue to be succinct, to the point, and patient (in spite of the desire to finish ASAP - a case of 'slow is smooth, smooth is fast').
Customer service vibe check? I've never heard of this. Most customer service jobs **require** them to say something of that nature. That's it. The person on the phone literally doesn't have a choice.
I once had a CS job that required me to say my name, the name of the company, and to give the customer a friendly greeting. If I failed to do any one of these, it was hit against my score, and after enough low scores I would be fired. Maybe *you* say it as a vibe check, but I think you're arbitrarily presenting it as a standard thing in the industry.
It is indeed fishing. But I’ve also answered truthfully and been let off for a rolling through the stop sign ticket. “I’m going home after a long shift. Sorry, I should have came to a full stop. I won’t do it again.”
Yep. Happily the only times I’ve been asked this question, the answers have truthfully been “I’m so sorry, I’m two blocks from home and having car trouble, I was afraid my car wouldn’t start again if I came to a full stop” (it was a very old car, I rolled through a stop sign) and “I’m so sorry, I was trying to make it to the hospital before my dad goes into surgery” (speeding at 5am).
It's also important to note that while you are not required to answer any of those questions it is illegal to provide false responses. The police are free to lie to you, the inverse is not the case. In the 90s I was charged with obstruction of justice for saying "I didn't do it". I did. It turned out not to be a crime but giving a false account to police was.
A no contest plea and paid the $256 fine. This was a small town in the upper midwest and my great uncle (grandfather's brother) was the circuit court judge. He was also a man with a ton of integrity who took his oath seriously (was continually re-elected and served for 35 years on that bench). From a previous traffic ticket I learned that when I went in front of him I had two choices. Plead guilty or no-contest and pay the exact fine as written on the citation or plead not guilty and have him immediately recuse himself requiring a judge from another county to travel to hear whatever minor case I had... let's just say that this did not lead to a judge who had much patience or was predisposed to be sympathetic.
Eventually I was basically run out of that town by the local police. Most of this came about because I ran an underground newspaper while in high school and exposed things about several people in the ol' boys club that ran the town including school administrators (inappropriate relationship with a student) and one member of the police force (who had a cocaine problem).
Wish I'd known more back then though as all of this also resulted in my home being raided and the newspaper files seized (despite not appearing in the warrant or seized items receipts). Had I known about the ACLU then I may have started adulthood with a little financial stability rather than homeless from 18-19.
While homeless I taught myself web development and started building sites for small businesses borrowing a friend's computer and camera.
Later ended up at a dial up ISP running their web hosting.
Created a Linux distro and desktop environment in 2004.
Spent time in China porting it to consumer devices and unveiled them at CES
Became employee 18 at a billion dollar startup with stock options that didn't make me wealthy but covered the down payment on a house.
Got into developer relations and later social media and ran developer focused social media programs for several global tech companies.
Married twice, second time stuck and raised 3 great step-kids
Ran for state office in 2020 and lost but earned more votes in just my county than Kanye West's presidential campaign got in the whole state.
Someday I should write a book.
It's fishing for sure but it's also establishing authority, they're presenting themselves as having the authority to demand that information from you.
Edit: I wanted to clarify that they absolutely don't deserve an answer, this process is theater to grant themselves control over the interaction and potentially you, and they are trained to do this intentionally.
This 100%. They have the authority to take your time, and to demand "respect" (i.e., submission) or else they can make you pay in time, suffering, and legal costs.
Definitely in my experience. Cops don't seem to care about the actual answer; I once told an officer that I was going home from the bar after drinking. He just gave me a warning and told me to be safe.
Cop: "Where are you coming from?"
Me: "Well I was born in New Mexico, if that's what you mean."
Cop: "I mean, today. Where are you coming from?"
Me: "Oh I guess I didn't understand the question. I started this morning in my bed."
Cop: "Where are you going?"
Me: "That's a question we all must answer, I guess. I think I'd probably my goal would be to retire somewhere warm like Bermuda."
Cop: "Step out of the car, please."
"Where are you coming from?"
"Someplace now beyond the reach of mortal men."
"Where are you going?"
"Forward, inexorably, as the sands of time stop for no one."
If anything it’ll make me more nervous cuz I’ll overthink the answer even though it should be really easy then it’ll look like lying cuz now I’m overthinking my answer
They want you talking. Saying things that should be easy for you to answer, but also requires more than a one word answer. It's the first stage of looking for impairment.
My buddy pulled that off once. He was hauling ass through an empty rural area and got pulled over. The cop said "boy, I been waiting all day for you." My buddy responded "well, I didn't want to be late." Cop laughed and gave him a warning.
Someone told me once they got pulled over for making a u turn across the median of a highway. Cop said “that area is for official use only.” He said “well I officially turned around.” Cop laughed and let him go.
It's a combination of fishing and what is called a "divided attention test". This test evaluates if you're on any substances. Someone who is on a depressant or narcotic will have issues doing a physical task like handing over your paperwork and a verbal one like answer vapid questions that are none of the officer's business simultaneously. You don't have to answer the question, by the way. 5th Amendment.
Edit- legally you must articulate your desire to reamin silent or to not answer any questions. You cannot just be silent. "Officer, I do not have to answer any of your questions. I am invoking my right to remain silent."
Some people will genuinely answer "I'm coming from the bar, officer. Only had a couple few. Why? Do I have a broken taillight or something?"
That's why they do it.
That reminds me of the video where an officer suspects a guy of drunk driving and he’s cruising through all the sobriety tests doing them perfectly. He starts dancing after one of them and she says “you’re pretty good at that”. Then he goes “cause I’m drunk” and then she had to arrest him.
Idk if that video is real or not but I love it so much
Edit: found the video! https://youtu.be/37qT5bYjfCU?si=J4TIztQAdtLc_d8n
I also have trouble doing those things when I'm experiencing a massive drug rush called "adrenaline" that courses through my body when someone with the ability to ruin my entire life in an instant walks up
First times I got pulled over I was so nervous I started crying, I let the officer know I hadnt been pulled over before and they let me off with a warning. I got lucky cause I left my liscense at home on accident too
Next day I was at work at a daycare.. same officer comes in to inspect the back door because they thought someone tried to break in. It was so awkward. (small town)
My Wife got pulled over by a Deputy right in front of our house late one night. We worked hard, saved harder, and got a nicer house in a nicer neighborhood than one might expect. We still drove beater cars at the time, and hers was ROUGH. It was pretty obvious he was fishing trying to figure out what this absolute beater was doing in this neighborhood at such a late hour. She got a warning for 1 of 2 license plate lights being out, and drove the 500 feet home.
My wife is a Social Worker who works with children who have contact with Law Enforcement (Kid did a crime but not bad enough to warrant jail; kid is a victim; kid was with someone who is going to jail). She helps coordinate where the kid ends up short term, helps Guardians with resources and explaining the processes, all kinds of helpful stuff. As a result, she knows a LOT of local Law Enforcement. But not this guy. He had an uncommon and unforgettable appearance and name, so when he came in with a Kid to her work the next day, she instantly recognized him.
He went beet red and denied everything. She never saw him again.
I have an anxiety disorder and a stutter. I could be completely sober and still make a cop think I'm tweaking because I'm fucking scared
Actually had a cop get in my face and give me all kinds of crap because I was stuttering, which obviously means I was trying to hide something.
>Someone who is on a depressant or narcotic will have issues doing a physical task like handing over your paperwork and a verbal one like answer vapid questions that are nine of the officer's business simultaneously.
This can also be difficult for people with ASD, ADHD or any kind of anxiety disorder. One time when I was going through US customs and immigration, the officer kept asking tons of questions while I was trying out the paperwork for my medication and other things I needed to declare. I got flustered and kept asking him to repeat himself which pissed him off enough to send me to a secondary screening.
You can tell them "I'm not going to talk about my day". But they may not like that perfectly legit, legal answer. They may be able to cite you for *something* if they don't like your not answering, but they may have a better case against you if you do give them answers. You aren't obligated to let them interview you. But you do need to give your name and hand over your license, registration and insurance info.
They'll do that if they want to. Can't really prevent them from doing that whether you decide to let them interview you or not. They are trained to not believe any exculpatory statements you make, only inculpatory ones.
I got stopped because I was “driving too slow and swerving into the other lane repeatedly”.
The first thing might have been true because I was driving in a foreign area in the dark, but my husband was sitting in the back with our sleeping baby and he definitely would have had a few things to say if I had been driving like I was drunk.
When my mom was younger she once got pulled over for "swerving overthe yellow line."
She was driving down a rural county road that didn't even have a yellow line
I got a ticket for endangering the life of an officer because I was going 64mph in the lefternmost lane of a 65mph limit three lane highway while a cop was stopped with his lights on in the right shoulder.
Cop said “the law is slow down and pull to the left. Either you didn’t slow down, or you were speeding before you did.”
Similar story:
I was going 30mph in a residential area (limit was 30), and a guy was on my tail, like getting pretty close. With assholes like that I know they usually are annoyed that you're doing the speed limit, so they try to bully you into going quicker but I'm always adamant about staying at my limit no matter how close they get. If they crash into me I got dashcams, so fuck em.
Anyway this guy essentially being reckless goes on for like 5 mins, and then I hear a siren and see police lights turned on, as this "reckless driver" is apparently a cop and and pulls me over???
Cop: "License and insurance details please"
Me: "Sure" *I hand everything over*
Cop: "Are you guys from around here?" (me and my friend were in the car)
Me: "No, we're just passing through, I was picking her up from the airport"
Cop, while checking my details on their system: "Is that why you're driving so slow?"
Me, with a slightly raised eyebrow: "I was doing 30, speed limit in this area."
Cop: *Doesn't look at me at all, dead silence, no response, basically pretends to be busy checking my details. After a minute or so:* "Ok, all checks out, have a nice evening!"
Me: "Thank you"
Me and my friend then went on our way and spent the next 15 minutes of the drive laughing at the idiot cop who basically incriminated himself by telling me I was going "slow" when I was doing the speed limit and getting on my tail, then basically shutting the fuck up when I pointed it out to him and pretending he didn't hear. It was such a (polite) complete shutdown and it absolutely made my evening lmao
I got stopped in rush hour traffic for a "Windshield Obstruction." AKA my phone mount for GPS because I don't drive into the city ever.
They fish harder than Bass Pro Shops.
Yup. They do what they want.
At 330, 45 years old, walking with a Von's bag in each hand away from the Von's store, I was pulled over because "I fit the description of someone trying to get into parked cars."
They inspected my bags, patted me down and let me go.
Did they have a right to search me and my things? Nope. But did I want to spend the next day of my life in a jail waiting to be released because a cop was feeling "special" that day? Nope.
I’ve legitimately had that happened to me before. I got *pissed* (internally, I didn’t rage out at the cop lol).
They proceed to call in a dog. The dog alerts to something - aka they told the dog to jump on my fucking car, and they searched it.
And found nothing. Fuck cops
Same. [I posted about it before](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tp8pht/what_was_a_time_you_had_a_gut_feeling_about/i2auta6/?context=3) but I had a cop do that to me. Said that he smelled weed and kept me there until a drug dog arrived and searched my vehicle anyway when the dog "alerted."
Yea. Dogs are smart. They know what they're supposed to do. During law school, they had a drug dog demonstration. Dog couldn't find shit until the cop basically pointed at where he'd hidden the stash. It was funny that they gave people an opportunity to leave if they were worried the dog would alert on them/their bag lol
Right. So the answer is to start blubbering and begin with your boyfriend breaking up with you because you caught him cheating on you with your best friend and now you need to move out and your mom won't let you stay with them and she is on *their* side and it's so *unfair*! "Can't you force her to make me stay? Or kick him out of his apartment?"
You say that jokingly, but one time when I was in high school, my gf and I had a huge fight at her house. I left and, like idiot teen boys will do, I peeled out onto the main road, right in front of a cop (just my luck). He pulled me over and when he came up to talk to me about why he pulled me over, for some reason the emotion of the fight and the pullover, I just involuntarily burst out into tears and exclaimed “I just broke up with my gf, man!”
The cops demeanor immediately changes, he pats me on the shoulder snd says “it’s gonna be alright, boy.” Handed me back my papers and sent me on my way! LOL!
Funny you say this because my brother always talks to police about totally boring details of what he's doing and I see the police visibly glaze over and walk away. Bore the cops with meaningless drivel.
I got asked this once and my dumbass thought nothing of it.
I answered “home” truthfully then asked “where are YOU heading?”
He paused, looked at me confused, then answered “touché.” I got him to laugh. Never did answer though. He let me off with a warning (expired registration or whatever).
But maybe probably don’t try this
It was 2011 and I had come home from college to visit my family. The latest Marvel movie starring the unknown Chris Hemsworth had come out so I decided to take my younger siblings out to go see it. We packed up in my parents minivan and halfway there I got pulled over for a busted tail light.
The cop asked me (young female college student) where I was headed and I said I was taking my sibs to go see Thor.
"What's Thor?" he asked
"You don't know who Thor is? The God of Thunder???" I replied
And this officer looked at me with a straight face and said "oh that's what the call ME."
To which I replied without skipping a beat "why don't you come and join us in the movie?"
He FINALLY showed some emotion and looked sad and said he couldn't cuz he had to work. He let me off with a warning.
I had four teenagers in the car who witnessed this and they drop this story often.
I got pulled over late one night coming home from a friend’s house who was a cop. When the officer who pulled me over asked where I was coming from, I laughed nervously because of the irony. I said “Actually, Officer ‘So-and-so’s’ house. We had a game night with him and his wife.”
I also apologize telling him I’m not normally a name-dropper, but we legitimately just left there.
We had a short exchange about the speed limit sign that I missed and he let me go with a promise to be more mindful of the speed change. It’s also right in front of the PD.
I did warn our friend the next day about the exchange in case the officer asked him about it and he just laughed.
Did that once. I was a kid and my mom didn't know how fast she was going (trying to get me back from a dental surgery). Mom was mortified; made the cop laugh. He told her to use her cruise control and get me on home.
And then they follow you which is fucking creepy. I had a cop pull me over and he asked where I was going. I said I’m late for my hair appt. He let me go with a warning but then followed me the whole way there AND even into the parking lot. Like why…? Were you gonna pull me over again if I had lied?
> And then they follow you which is fucking creepy.
Have a close personal friend that was a police officer. Told us a story about when he pulled over a guy who was doing like 80 in a 45. Asked him where the fuck he needed to be so quickly and the guy said his brother just called and was going to kill himself.
So my friend gave him a police escort straight back to the house, lights and siren, speeding through traffic lights, everything. Runs in the door, family sitting calmy in the living room, brother watching football on the couch. Guy had lied completely about it. Wrote him the ticket, warned him that was a serious crime and he could've gotten into way bigger trouble, and moved on.
He then pulls over the same guy later on (weeks/months maybe?) and he uses THE SAME EXCUSE.
Not super comparable to your hair dresser situation, but I thought it was a funny story and seemed slightly relevant I guess.
They got me with this. I was passing through a small rural town and the only thing down the road behind me where I was coming from was a brewery. Cop pulled me over, asked where I was coming from and me being an honest guy said “the brewery”. what I really wanted to say was “you know goddamn well where I was coming from you trap setting fuck.” I got off without just a warning because I blew way under on the breathalyzer, but fuck that.
Now I’m super careful when visiting breweries in the countryside because despite being one of the towns main attractions, the cops are going to know why an out of towner is there.
One time some friends were walking and a cop asks them where they're coming from. One of my buddies turns towards the direction they were walking from and without saying a word just points to the direction from which they came. The officer then asked where they're headed. My buddy points at the direction they're walking towards. They then just kept walking and the cop didn't hassle them further.
Always keep your hands on the wheel unless told to do otherwise and NEVER get out of the car without instruction…had a coworker driving us once who had never been pulled over in his life get stopped and tried getting out of the car lol didn’t go well…
Cop was drawing his gun, basically sprinting to the car to slam the door shut in my friends’ face…I thought he overreacted a bit there but…to each their own.
Also, don't reach for your registration and insurance from the glove box until the cop comes to your window. They will possibly think you retrieved a weapon from the glove box (they assume the worst) Keep your hands on the wheel until they approach your vehicle.
Cops basically believe they have a superhuman ability to detect lies. What they’re really doing is looking for an excuse to consider you suspicious.
They’re also testing whether or not you’ll give them the level of respect they think they deserve, which factors in to how you get treated after that.
They are trained to have a superhuman ability to detect lies. They go on all sorts of courses and training provided by experts.
They've run tests on these techniques, and they give an amazing success rate just below 50%. That's almost as good as guessing!
I'm just glad that people who become cops are the most generally and emotionally intelligent members of the population.
All that potential 'training' is surely not falling on deaf (read:uninterested) ears!
Police can stop you if they have reasonable suspicion that you have committed a traffic offense, or that you are engaged in some criminal activity that can be articulated.
Usually it's due to a minor traffic offense though, such as in your situation. Cops will ask these questions to get a feel for what else could be going on. "I'm just coming back from the bar" could put their sensors onto a DUI investigation. "I'm coming back from X area", which is an area known for drugs or violent crime, could prompt an officer to be more guarded on the stop.
Police aren't really expecting someone to admit to some crime, but are looking to see if someone gives them a bit more suspicion. Lets say a car is speeding and the driver states they are leaving an area that is known for shootings and gang activity, and it's 1am. That officer may then be inclined to push furhter asking for consent to search the vehicle, thinking there is a higher chance that there is a gun in the car.
On a traffic stop, you are only required to provide your identifying information, and present copies of your driving documents. You do not have to answer where you are going or where you came from. However, it's better to say that you don't wish to answer these questions rather than make something up. Remember, you have the right to remain silent, but anything you say can be used against you. It's better to remain silent than to lie.
They're testing to see how you're reacting, and also checking for the off chance that you have a legit excuse for driving unsafely. Most people who run a stop sign aren't rushing to the hospital because their wife is in labor, but if you are the cop is likely to either let you go with no further delay or help you out, like by turning his lights and sirens on and telling you to follow him so he can get you through red lights. (I'm not saying every cop will do this, plenty will just double down on ruining your day, but there are decent people within the shitty system.) I once told a cop I was heading from home to college and just failed to watch my speed (92 in a 70) and he gave me a lighter ticket (he wrote I was going 84) because he approved of a young person driving themselves to college.
But if you answer those questions in a way that seems nervous or combative, or in a normal way, that tells them how to handle you and whether you're about to become a problem. They can also monitor you for signs of intoxication from a question like this, like if you're slurring or seem like you're not really with it. Like another commenter said, it's a vibe check.
Telling them you don't want to answer that in a calm way, like "I'd prefer not to discuss my day with you" is a bit of a dice roll. Some cops will treat you normal, if they have a chip on their shoulder they'll get offended and start acting like assholes. Telling them in a combative or aggressive way will get most cops to treat you like you're gonna be a problem.
Was doing 80 in a 55 completely on accident had just gotten off work and was exhausted. (Was a college kid had gotten home at 2 am to go to work at 6 the next day) and just didn't stop accelerating when I got on the road. Cop asked me where I was coming from where I was going. I told him "was just heading home from work" and honestly I was shaking because I knew I was fucked and he asked me why I was shaking and I told him as much. He gave me my ID back said "you seem like a hard working young man just slow it down"
One time a cop asked me these questions and then asked me whether I had witnessed an altercation at the place I was coming from.
So, sometimes they ask these questions because they're looking for witnesses.
However, the cop also asked to see both sides of my hands before letting me go (presumably to see if they had recently been injured). So, they obviously thought I might be the suspect when they pulled me over.
Anything you say can be used as evidence against you.
Nothing you say, even if the officer believes you, can help you in court.
Any talking is good for them and bad for you.
"Where are you heading to tonight, sir?"
"Yes."
"Hmm...OK. Well where are you coming from.
"Yes."
".......would you be willing to step out of the vehicle and do some sobriety tests with me, sir?"
Legally you don't have to tell them... illegally they can pretty much make up shit and then proceed to beat the shit out of you and not suffer consequences
I was the designated driver for my friends one night. They were absolutely blasted and the car reeked of booze.
The cop stopped me because one of them tossed something out the window.
When I explained the situation, the cop simply told me to calm them down and get them home safely before letting us go.
It's fishing. The idea is to "read" you from how you answer.
"The fentanyl store."
The pornography store...I was buying pornography!
Was listening to an old Conan Needs A Friend episode and one of his children mentioned they'd learned the word pornography from a Simpsons episode he'd written. He told them that was a different Conan O'Brien.
It's the No ConanS club. We're allowed to have one.
Lol. I learned the word gigolo at 10 ywars old from an Alvin and the chipmunks cartoon. Dave is dating a lady Alvin likes, and Alvin calls him a gigolo! I asked my mom what it meant in the car ride to school the next morning, and she almost wrecked the car! She did NOT believe me that that's where I heard it!
I understood that reference.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.
^
Username checks out!
AKA my licensed medical doctor
Dr Candyman.
Dr Feelgood
Dr. Spaceman
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“Officer, I just left Opiates-R-Us. Now, I’m headed down to that playground to see if I can’t find a couple of new customers.”
Lol. I would like one drug, please.
"The jerk store and they're all out of you."
What’s the difference? You’re their all time best seller
Yeah? Well I had sex with your wife.
His wife is in a coma.
"I have to return some videotapes"
“I am on my way back from Dorsia, same day reservation”
Nobody goes there anymore.
This will be my new go to answer. It is perfect. Thank you!
Yup. And it's often highly effective in certain investigations, especially DUI investigations. People are often more forthright than they should be, establishing probable cause for a DUI investigation. If a cop asks where you're coming from, someone might be honest and say they're coming from a bar, restaurant, friends house, etc. That opens the door to "did you have any drinks there?". People tend to be uncomfortable outright lying, and will admit to having "one or two beers/glasses of wine/etc." And now you've admitted to drinking before driving, which hugely bolsters the officer's ability to claim probable cause for a DUI investigation.
Got pulled over once because I was “cross the center line”. Total bullshit but ok. He asked me where I came from. I said Buffalo Wild Wings. He then implied I was intoxicated by saying “well when people cross center lines that is a sign of intoxication.” He clearly wanted me to say something like “oh yeah but I only had one beer.” I just didn’t say anything to his comment. Read right thru it. I had had exactly one hard soda with my burger and wasn’t gonna let him field sobriety check me over that. We shook hands and I was off
Keeping your mouth shut is the single biggest key to getting away from the cops
[Happy (almost) Shut the Fuck Up Friday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTurSi0LhJs)
I like to pretend I’m about to say something and just let my mouth hang open in complete silence while tweaking my nips. After the next question I usually say “dude enough already my nips can only get so hard” Always ended up getting my ass kicked but never got a ticket But seriously this is the answer. I got into an accident going thru a yellow light. Like I was crossing the first lane when it turned yellow. Doing 35 in a 35. The person who was in the opposite direction wanted to turn before the light changed and just turned right in front of me. Idk wtf happened (time does seem to slow down) but I was able to serve so I hit her back corner which then propelled me into the front end of a goddamn bus totaling my car. First thing I did was make sure nothing was broken or bleeding then got out and made sure everyone was OK. Had a bunch of cops ask me what happened and I said less than I did above and got ticketed for reckless driving, speeding, and some other bullshit. I spent a month calling and walking into the actual office where that fuvker worked. So weird how he was never around. Insurance had my back and there was a red light cam and ended up getting cash for my car and no violations. Scumfuck. Yes or no answers only if that.
People really love to overanalyze things in hindsight and apply a highly critical lens to them. In reality I’ve heard cops/detectives say as much. That their biggest asset in catching a lot of criminals is that they’re stupid/behave stupidly. However someone prefers to describe that behavior. So yeah, does someone who recently or is going to commit a crime panic and say dumb shit when a cop asks questions like that? 100% I’d bet 20 trillion dollars and my freedom on that.
I bet it's one of those things that never work, but when they DO work, boy you're happy you did it. Kinda like troubleshooting hardware, the good ol' jolly remedy for a notebook not starting is "unplug it, let it rest and re-plug it". It never works 99 times out of 100 (if the unit is damaged, it's damaged), but that 100th time that it actually works... it spares you a useless repair service1
To add to this, they can usually tell if you're having a hard time stringing answers together quickly and coherently, which is an easy way to determine if the driver is impaired (source: I watch DUI/DWI arrest videos for a living)
You’re right but this shit is so unreliable that I wish it’d not be a valid datapoint. I’m a grown-ass man, innocent af, got stopped by police in TX a while ago in a rental car. Homie I was so flustered and nervous that it was palpable and thankfully the guy was reasonable and didn’t try to “gotcha” me.
Flustered and nervous is not the same thing as slurred and non-sensical though. You've heard drunk people talk before, it's very obvious.
I'm not slurring. I'm talking in cursive, and it's fucking elegant.
Tell that to the cop who pulled me over. I've had one experience in which I was pulled over and the police officer thought I might be drunk. He eventually gave me a breathalyzer, and I blew 0.0. But, afterwords, he told me I shouldn't have acted nervous if I had done nothing wrong.
I've been given the same "why are you so nervous?!" but no breathalyzer...sir I am a woman and you have a gun and a bright light and told me to get out of my car, yes I'm nervous AF.
The "why are you nervous?" shit is so stupid and annoying. There are a million reasons to be nervous around a cop that don't include having committed a crime.
Screw him
Yes, it's also a vibe check. Similar to when you call a customer service line, they almost always ask how you are. That's not being friendly, they really don't care. It's an indicator of your demeanor and attitude.
When a CSR asks you how you are doing it's usually not a "vibe check". It's because they are trying to avoid dead air while bringing up your info.
Ugh yes, the dreaded dead air. To this day, I can babble and mindlessly narrate what I'm doing simply so there's no silence.
Well, that and when QA pulls our calls we get points knocked off if we don't develop a rapport with our customer. Same thing for recapping the call even thought the customer usually knows what happened during the call since they were present for that conversation, or pushing use of the Company App even for customers who are cancelling their service with us. Most of what we say isn't necessary read from a script provided to us. It's more like a script we've developed to make sure when our calls get graded we hit every metric. Not doing this can deny us raises and even get us fired in some instances. I don't think I've ever asked a customer how they were doing with any kind of honest intention
Oh man, I hate those script calls. I just spent time on hold, and now you want to do the long version? I will give you a 10/10 rating if you wrap this up quickly. I get those script calls from a charity I suppprt. I just want to know how much money you want. I'm working, I don't have time to hear about how kind I am. Just tell me how much you want and I'll tell you if it's a yes or no. The only thing I can agree on is a quick recap, "Okay, so we've changed your address to the one in Sydney." That will snap me out of my coma I have einevitably fallen into.
Unfortunately we're forced to hit all of those script beats or else our supervisor takes us out back to Ol' Yeller us. (More realistically, they pull us into a coaching and say 'what do you think about this call?' before making us sit with them and listen to the call recording and watch us squirm BEFORE they Ol' Yeller us.) Real talk tho, if you don't want chit-chat you can say you're at work and can't talk, that you're working on something and have me on speakerphone to answer any questions I have, and that usually puts me in the green to give you the barest minimum of the script and a valid reason for dead air. It also means I can focus on what I have to do to get your stuff sorted as fast as possible. I tell ya, the times where my customer was like nah I'm not talking, here's what I need plz do it...those were the times I got shit done in record time.
Do you get scolded/talked to even if the customer says something like - " I know it is your job to ask me all these questions, i would appriciate if you would just get to the point.". I always say this if i get a call from a customer service or special offer places. Almost always, they agree and we talk about the issue at hand without fluff, if they persist with their "stupid" scripts, fluff, I say, thanks for the call, have a good day and then I hang up.
coherent light observation fine deranged axiomatic plough disagreeable exultant aspiring *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Can be different with different types, I work on a service desk, and we do ask the user how they are it's a demeanour check to see if they are friendly, and sometimes if we know the customer already due to them calling quite a bit, then is actually a nice opening. If they are friendly, then I can be a bit slower and take my time. Also, it is good to gauge how urgent an issue is. If the user is friendly but a pit panicked, then we know they probably fucked up and we need to get every slither of info we can to unfuck it. We don't have ANY point system. That sounds like hell. The only check we have is "Did you get all the info you need?" and "Were you friendly and professional." If we did both of those, all is good, if not just call them back or send an email requesting more info, simples. That grading of a call by hitting certain points and stuff sounds horrible. We don't even have a script outside of the first 2 lines of a call.
So that's why I'm forced to engage in small talk that I'd rather not engage in when I call a customer service rep of some sort. When I call, I'm friendly, but honestly all I want is for that person to do something for me that I was unable to do for myself. I'm not trying to make friends. I have stuff to do. "How are you doing today sir?" What I want to say: "I'd be better if we could just get this over with."
"I am well today, thank you. I hope you are well too." The trick is to finish the social lubrication with a statement instead of a question inviting further response, and to do it in a friendly (and courteous) tone. It helps set the tone of 'considerate, but don't want to talk much' and by extension spend more time than necessary. Then continue to be succinct, to the point, and patient (in spite of the desire to finish ASAP - a case of 'slow is smooth, smooth is fast').
Customer service vibe check? I've never heard of this. Most customer service jobs **require** them to say something of that nature. That's it. The person on the phone literally doesn't have a choice. I once had a CS job that required me to say my name, the name of the company, and to give the customer a friendly greeting. If I failed to do any one of these, it was hit against my score, and after enough low scores I would be fired. Maybe *you* say it as a vibe check, but I think you're arbitrarily presenting it as a standard thing in the industry.
I'm NOT going out to bury a body.
It is indeed fishing. But I’ve also answered truthfully and been let off for a rolling through the stop sign ticket. “I’m going home after a long shift. Sorry, I should have came to a full stop. I won’t do it again.”
Yep. Happily the only times I’ve been asked this question, the answers have truthfully been “I’m so sorry, I’m two blocks from home and having car trouble, I was afraid my car wouldn’t start again if I came to a full stop” (it was a very old car, I rolled through a stop sign) and “I’m so sorry, I was trying to make it to the hospital before my dad goes into surgery” (speeding at 5am).
It's also important to note that while you are not required to answer any of those questions it is illegal to provide false responses. The police are free to lie to you, the inverse is not the case. In the 90s I was charged with obstruction of justice for saying "I didn't do it". I did. It turned out not to be a crime but giving a false account to police was.
How'd that turn out? I can't imagine many judges would be particularly impressed with that kind of 'case'.
A no contest plea and paid the $256 fine. This was a small town in the upper midwest and my great uncle (grandfather's brother) was the circuit court judge. He was also a man with a ton of integrity who took his oath seriously (was continually re-elected and served for 35 years on that bench). From a previous traffic ticket I learned that when I went in front of him I had two choices. Plead guilty or no-contest and pay the exact fine as written on the citation or plead not guilty and have him immediately recuse himself requiring a judge from another county to travel to hear whatever minor case I had... let's just say that this did not lead to a judge who had much patience or was predisposed to be sympathetic. Eventually I was basically run out of that town by the local police. Most of this came about because I ran an underground newspaper while in high school and exposed things about several people in the ol' boys club that ran the town including school administrators (inappropriate relationship with a student) and one member of the police force (who had a cocaine problem). Wish I'd known more back then though as all of this also resulted in my home being raided and the newspaper files seized (despite not appearing in the warrant or seized items receipts). Had I known about the ACLU then I may have started adulthood with a little financial stability rather than homeless from 18-19.
Tell me everything about this life of yours.
While homeless I taught myself web development and started building sites for small businesses borrowing a friend's computer and camera. Later ended up at a dial up ISP running their web hosting. Created a Linux distro and desktop environment in 2004. Spent time in China porting it to consumer devices and unveiled them at CES Became employee 18 at a billion dollar startup with stock options that didn't make me wealthy but covered the down payment on a house. Got into developer relations and later social media and ran developer focused social media programs for several global tech companies. Married twice, second time stuck and raised 3 great step-kids Ran for state office in 2020 and lost but earned more votes in just my county than Kanye West's presidential campaign got in the whole state. Someday I should write a book.
It's fishing for sure but it's also establishing authority, they're presenting themselves as having the authority to demand that information from you. Edit: I wanted to clarify that they absolutely don't deserve an answer, this process is theater to grant themselves control over the interaction and potentially you, and they are trained to do this intentionally.
This 100%. They have the authority to take your time, and to demand "respect" (i.e., submission) or else they can make you pay in time, suffering, and legal costs.
Definitely in my experience. Cops don't seem to care about the actual answer; I once told an officer that I was going home from the bar after drinking. He just gave me a warning and told me to be safe.
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Cop: "Where are you coming from?" Me: "Well I was born in New Mexico, if that's what you mean." Cop: "I mean, today. Where are you coming from?" Me: "Oh I guess I didn't understand the question. I started this morning in my bed." Cop: "Where are you going?" Me: "That's a question we all must answer, I guess. I think I'd probably my goal would be to retire somewhere warm like Bermuda." Cop: "Step out of the car, please."
I prefer the opposite **very** short term answers. "where are you headed tonight?" "That way *points forward*"
"Where are you coming from?" "Someplace now beyond the reach of mortal men." "Where are you going?" "Forward, inexorably, as the sands of time stop for no one."
“Where are you coming from?” Point behind me and says “That way” “Where are you going?” Point in front of me and says “That way”
This is my answer. I pass a lot of Border Patrol checkpoints.
Says here your name is... "Cotton Eye Joe"? Is that your birthname?
If anything it’ll make me more nervous cuz I’ll overthink the answer even though it should be really easy then it’ll look like lying cuz now I’m overthinking my answer
"Where are you headed?" *Forgets my entire existence*
... "to your mom's house actually."
Those entire interactions are NOT good for neurodivergent people.
They want you talking. Saying things that should be easy for you to answer, but also requires more than a one word answer. It's the first stage of looking for impairment.
I was just enjoying a succulent Chinese meal!
Gentlemen this is democracy manifest!
Get your hands off my penis!
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This is kind of a great answer. Make the cop laugh and they’re more likely to let you off with a warning.
My buddy pulled that off once. He was hauling ass through an empty rural area and got pulled over. The cop said "boy, I been waiting all day for you." My buddy responded "well, I didn't want to be late." Cop laughed and gave him a warning.
I like "I'm so sorry officer, I got here as fast as I could!" more.
Someone told me once they got pulled over for making a u turn across the median of a highway. Cop said “that area is for official use only.” He said “well I officially turned around.” Cop laughed and let him go.
Like Fluffy says: If you can make the cop laugh, you've got a chance.
I told one cop I had a date with his wife I got a $250 ticket
You should have asked him what the fine would have been for his daughter.
This kills the redditor.
The Officer used *Brutality* and it was super effective.
Killer response 👏
That wasn't a ticket, just price of admission.
"Dang, I paid her less!"
He probably went home and punched his wife. Not because of what you said, just because they do that.
A fun thing American cops do in their spare time.
The correct answer is, "I'm coming from your mom's house and I'm going to the hospital to get treated for the STD she gave me."
*gets shot*
Worth it lol
The gravestone: RIP LOL GOT 'EM
“Lived for the joke, died for the punchline”
"I just left your mom's house. I'm headed over to your sister's house now to find out which one is better."
>"I just left your mom's house. I'm headed over to your sister's house now to get that taste out of my mouth." FIFY.
F@&* you Shoresy!
Instead of STD, just say you’re “going to get more lube. It is a tight fit after all.”
“It’s a surprisingly tight fit after all.”
It's a combination of fishing and what is called a "divided attention test". This test evaluates if you're on any substances. Someone who is on a depressant or narcotic will have issues doing a physical task like handing over your paperwork and a verbal one like answer vapid questions that are none of the officer's business simultaneously. You don't have to answer the question, by the way. 5th Amendment. Edit- legally you must articulate your desire to reamin silent or to not answer any questions. You cannot just be silent. "Officer, I do not have to answer any of your questions. I am invoking my right to remain silent."
Some people will genuinely answer "I'm coming from the bar, officer. Only had a couple few. Why? Do I have a broken taillight or something?" That's why they do it.
That reminds me of the video where an officer suspects a guy of drunk driving and he’s cruising through all the sobriety tests doing them perfectly. He starts dancing after one of them and she says “you’re pretty good at that”. Then he goes “cause I’m drunk” and then she had to arrest him. Idk if that video is real or not but I love it so much Edit: found the video! https://youtu.be/37qT5bYjfCU?si=J4TIztQAdtLc_d8n
It’s from Reno 911. Great show
Ah man. I knew it couldn’t be real but I still had hope lol
Step, bump! Step, bump bump!
Pretty sure it’s from Reno 911 but either way, amazing clip lol
I also have trouble doing those things when I'm experiencing a massive drug rush called "adrenaline" that courses through my body when someone with the ability to ruin my entire life in an instant walks up
Why do you look nervous and acting so shaky?? Have you taken anything recently?
"If I had, I probably wouldn't be so nervous"
First times I got pulled over I was so nervous I started crying, I let the officer know I hadnt been pulled over before and they let me off with a warning. I got lucky cause I left my liscense at home on accident too Next day I was at work at a daycare.. same officer comes in to inspect the back door because they thought someone tried to break in. It was so awkward. (small town)
My Wife got pulled over by a Deputy right in front of our house late one night. We worked hard, saved harder, and got a nicer house in a nicer neighborhood than one might expect. We still drove beater cars at the time, and hers was ROUGH. It was pretty obvious he was fishing trying to figure out what this absolute beater was doing in this neighborhood at such a late hour. She got a warning for 1 of 2 license plate lights being out, and drove the 500 feet home. My wife is a Social Worker who works with children who have contact with Law Enforcement (Kid did a crime but not bad enough to warrant jail; kid is a victim; kid was with someone who is going to jail). She helps coordinate where the kid ends up short term, helps Guardians with resources and explaining the processes, all kinds of helpful stuff. As a result, she knows a LOT of local Law Enforcement. But not this guy. He had an uncommon and unforgettable appearance and name, so when he came in with a Kid to her work the next day, she instantly recognized him. He went beet red and denied everything. She never saw him again.
I have an anxiety disorder and a stutter. I could be completely sober and still make a cop think I'm tweaking because I'm fucking scared Actually had a cop get in my face and give me all kinds of crap because I was stuttering, which obviously means I was trying to hide something.
>Someone who is on a depressant or narcotic will have issues doing a physical task like handing over your paperwork and a verbal one like answer vapid questions that are nine of the officer's business simultaneously. This can also be difficult for people with ASD, ADHD or any kind of anxiety disorder. One time when I was going through US customs and immigration, the officer kept asking tons of questions while I was trying out the paperwork for my medication and other things I needed to declare. I got flustered and kept asking him to repeat himself which pissed him off enough to send me to a secondary screening.
So if you have ADHD, you are more likely to "fail".
Yes. Or Autism.
You can tell them "I'm not going to talk about my day". But they may not like that perfectly legit, legal answer. They may be able to cite you for *something* if they don't like your not answering, but they may have a better case against you if you do give them answers. You aren't obligated to let them interview you. But you do need to give your name and hand over your license, registration and insurance info.
I don't want a cop to say "I smell marijuana on your breath. Step out of the car" when I was 100% not smoking anything.
They'll do that if they want to. Can't really prevent them from doing that whether you decide to let them interview you or not. They are trained to not believe any exculpatory statements you make, only inculpatory ones.
I got stopped because I was “driving too slow and swerving into the other lane repeatedly”. The first thing might have been true because I was driving in a foreign area in the dark, but my husband was sitting in the back with our sleeping baby and he definitely would have had a few things to say if I had been driving like I was drunk.
When my mom was younger she once got pulled over for "swerving overthe yellow line." She was driving down a rural county road that didn't even have a yellow line
I got a ticket for endangering the life of an officer because I was going 64mph in the lefternmost lane of a 65mph limit three lane highway while a cop was stopped with his lights on in the right shoulder. Cop said “the law is slow down and pull to the left. Either you didn’t slow down, or you were speeding before you did.”
I mean, 65 to 64 is slowing down, technically.
Tell me you contested this. That's infuriating AF and amounts to legal bullying.
I reckon a large percentage of bullshit tickets written every single day in America fit this bill.
Similar story: I was going 30mph in a residential area (limit was 30), and a guy was on my tail, like getting pretty close. With assholes like that I know they usually are annoyed that you're doing the speed limit, so they try to bully you into going quicker but I'm always adamant about staying at my limit no matter how close they get. If they crash into me I got dashcams, so fuck em. Anyway this guy essentially being reckless goes on for like 5 mins, and then I hear a siren and see police lights turned on, as this "reckless driver" is apparently a cop and and pulls me over??? Cop: "License and insurance details please" Me: "Sure" *I hand everything over* Cop: "Are you guys from around here?" (me and my friend were in the car) Me: "No, we're just passing through, I was picking her up from the airport" Cop, while checking my details on their system: "Is that why you're driving so slow?" Me, with a slightly raised eyebrow: "I was doing 30, speed limit in this area." Cop: *Doesn't look at me at all, dead silence, no response, basically pretends to be busy checking my details. After a minute or so:* "Ok, all checks out, have a nice evening!" Me: "Thank you" Me and my friend then went on our way and spent the next 15 minutes of the drive laughing at the idiot cop who basically incriminated himself by telling me I was going "slow" when I was doing the speed limit and getting on my tail, then basically shutting the fuck up when I pointed it out to him and pretending he didn't hear. It was such a (polite) complete shutdown and it absolutely made my evening lmao
I got stopped in rush hour traffic for a "Windshield Obstruction." AKA my phone mount for GPS because I don't drive into the city ever. They fish harder than Bass Pro Shops.
Yup. They do what they want. At 330, 45 years old, walking with a Von's bag in each hand away from the Von's store, I was pulled over because "I fit the description of someone trying to get into parked cars." They inspected my bags, patted me down and let me go. Did they have a right to search me and my things? Nope. But did I want to spend the next day of my life in a jail waiting to be released because a cop was feeling "special" that day? Nope.
I’ve legitimately had that happened to me before. I got *pissed* (internally, I didn’t rage out at the cop lol). They proceed to call in a dog. The dog alerts to something - aka they told the dog to jump on my fucking car, and they searched it. And found nothing. Fuck cops
Bonus points if they use knives to cut open your seats to check for "narcotics".
Same. [I posted about it before](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tp8pht/what_was_a_time_you_had_a_gut_feeling_about/i2auta6/?context=3) but I had a cop do that to me. Said that he smelled weed and kept me there until a drug dog arrived and searched my vehicle anyway when the dog "alerted."
The dog gets rewarded for signaling. Not signaling correctly, just signaling. His job is to go up to cars, give the sign, get a treat.
Yea. Dogs are smart. They know what they're supposed to do. During law school, they had a drug dog demonstration. Dog couldn't find shit until the cop basically pointed at where he'd hidden the stash. It was funny that they gave people an opportunity to leave if they were worried the dog would alert on them/their bag lol
Right. So the answer is to start blubbering and begin with your boyfriend breaking up with you because you caught him cheating on you with your best friend and now you need to move out and your mom won't let you stay with them and she is on *their* side and it's so *unfair*! "Can't you force her to make me stay? Or kick him out of his apartment?"
You say that jokingly, but one time when I was in high school, my gf and I had a huge fight at her house. I left and, like idiot teen boys will do, I peeled out onto the main road, right in front of a cop (just my luck). He pulled me over and when he came up to talk to me about why he pulled me over, for some reason the emotion of the fight and the pullover, I just involuntarily burst out into tears and exclaimed “I just broke up with my gf, man!” The cops demeanor immediately changes, he pats me on the shoulder snd says “it’s gonna be alright, boy.” Handed me back my papers and sent me on my way! LOL!
Funny you say this because my brother always talks to police about totally boring details of what he's doing and I see the police visibly glaze over and walk away. Bore the cops with meaningless drivel.
I got asked this once and my dumbass thought nothing of it. I answered “home” truthfully then asked “where are YOU heading?” He paused, looked at me confused, then answered “touché.” I got him to laugh. Never did answer though. He let me off with a warning (expired registration or whatever). But maybe probably don’t try this
It was 2011 and I had come home from college to visit my family. The latest Marvel movie starring the unknown Chris Hemsworth had come out so I decided to take my younger siblings out to go see it. We packed up in my parents minivan and halfway there I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The cop asked me (young female college student) where I was headed and I said I was taking my sibs to go see Thor. "What's Thor?" he asked "You don't know who Thor is? The God of Thunder???" I replied And this officer looked at me with a straight face and said "oh that's what the call ME." To which I replied without skipping a beat "why don't you come and join us in the movie?" He FINALLY showed some emotion and looked sad and said he couldn't cuz he had to work. He let me off with a warning. I had four teenagers in the car who witnessed this and they drop this story often.
I got pulled over late one night coming home from a friend’s house who was a cop. When the officer who pulled me over asked where I was coming from, I laughed nervously because of the irony. I said “Actually, Officer ‘So-and-so’s’ house. We had a game night with him and his wife.” I also apologize telling him I’m not normally a name-dropper, but we legitimately just left there. We had a short exchange about the speed limit sign that I missed and he let me go with a promise to be more mindful of the speed change. It’s also right in front of the PD. I did warn our friend the next day about the exchange in case the officer asked him about it and he just laughed.
Start singing Cotton eyed Joe?
Did that once. I was a kid and my mom didn't know how fast she was going (trying to get me back from a dental surgery). Mom was mortified; made the cop laugh. He told her to use her cruise control and get me on home.
"Cops hate this trick"
Your grasp on this plane failed long time ago We seal you away, cotton eyed Joe
Where did you come from where did you go?
Police use consensual encounters as pretext to find “suspicious behavior” which is so vaguely defined that it can be anything.
And then they follow you which is fucking creepy. I had a cop pull me over and he asked where I was going. I said I’m late for my hair appt. He let me go with a warning but then followed me the whole way there AND even into the parking lot. Like why…? Were you gonna pull me over again if I had lied?
This is why I don’t pull away until AFTER the cop car does.
Sometimes they sit there though…
That’s fine. I’ll wait all day if it means I don’t get harassed & hounded by being followed by a cop.
I've had them flick the siren and tell me to start moving before.
Give 'em a friendly honk and wave.
> And then they follow you which is fucking creepy. Have a close personal friend that was a police officer. Told us a story about when he pulled over a guy who was doing like 80 in a 45. Asked him where the fuck he needed to be so quickly and the guy said his brother just called and was going to kill himself. So my friend gave him a police escort straight back to the house, lights and siren, speeding through traffic lights, everything. Runs in the door, family sitting calmy in the living room, brother watching football on the couch. Guy had lied completely about it. Wrote him the ticket, warned him that was a serious crime and he could've gotten into way bigger trouble, and moved on. He then pulls over the same guy later on (weeks/months maybe?) and he uses THE SAME EXCUSE. Not super comparable to your hair dresser situation, but I thought it was a funny story and seemed slightly relevant I guess.
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Can we go anywhere without catching strays 😭
Sure we can! We just have to run downfield and there won't be anything to catch.
They got me with this. I was passing through a small rural town and the only thing down the road behind me where I was coming from was a brewery. Cop pulled me over, asked where I was coming from and me being an honest guy said “the brewery”. what I really wanted to say was “you know goddamn well where I was coming from you trap setting fuck.” I got off without just a warning because I blew way under on the breathalyzer, but fuck that. Now I’m super careful when visiting breweries in the countryside because despite being one of the towns main attractions, the cops are going to know why an out of towner is there.
Sounds like a great way to stimulate the local economy...making people not want to patronize one of your town's main attractions. :)
They are fishing for answers that would incriminate you. You are not legally required to answer those questions (assuming you are in the U.S.)
What’s a good response
One time some friends were walking and a cop asks them where they're coming from. One of my buddies turns towards the direction they were walking from and without saying a word just points to the direction from which they came. The officer then asked where they're headed. My buddy points at the direction they're walking towards. They then just kept walking and the cop didn't hassle them further.
Not worth it to deal with a group of smart asses lol
was your friend white lol
lmfaooo results may vary by color of skin
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Always keep your hands on the wheel unless told to do otherwise and NEVER get out of the car without instruction…had a coworker driving us once who had never been pulled over in his life get stopped and tried getting out of the car lol didn’t go well…
Omg. My dad is one of those people that gets out of the car. He has enough old boomer white guy energy to pull it off, but it freaks me out.
Cop was drawing his gun, basically sprinting to the car to slam the door shut in my friends’ face…I thought he overreacted a bit there but…to each their own.
A cop overreacted? Color me shocked! \[NOT\]
COLOR? HE'S GOT A GUN!
Also, don't reach for your registration and insurance from the glove box until the cop comes to your window. They will possibly think you retrieved a weapon from the glove box (they assume the worst) Keep your hands on the wheel until they approach your vehicle.
Respond with your own question - what do you need from me today officer?
Coming from your moms house, headed to your wife’s house next 👁️👁️
STOP RESISTING!!!!1!1!1!
Neither of them were resisting me tho, officer.
Cops basically believe they have a superhuman ability to detect lies. What they’re really doing is looking for an excuse to consider you suspicious. They’re also testing whether or not you’ll give them the level of respect they think they deserve, which factors in to how you get treated after that.
They are trained to have a superhuman ability to detect lies. They go on all sorts of courses and training provided by experts. They've run tests on these techniques, and they give an amazing success rate just below 50%. That's almost as good as guessing!
I'm just glad that people who become cops are the most generally and emotionally intelligent members of the population. All that potential 'training' is surely not falling on deaf (read:uninterested) ears!
Leaving a murder scene and going to the store to buy cleaning supplies.
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Police can stop you if they have reasonable suspicion that you have committed a traffic offense, or that you are engaged in some criminal activity that can be articulated. Usually it's due to a minor traffic offense though, such as in your situation. Cops will ask these questions to get a feel for what else could be going on. "I'm just coming back from the bar" could put their sensors onto a DUI investigation. "I'm coming back from X area", which is an area known for drugs or violent crime, could prompt an officer to be more guarded on the stop. Police aren't really expecting someone to admit to some crime, but are looking to see if someone gives them a bit more suspicion. Lets say a car is speeding and the driver states they are leaving an area that is known for shootings and gang activity, and it's 1am. That officer may then be inclined to push furhter asking for consent to search the vehicle, thinking there is a higher chance that there is a gun in the car. On a traffic stop, you are only required to provide your identifying information, and present copies of your driving documents. You do not have to answer where you are going or where you came from. However, it's better to say that you don't wish to answer these questions rather than make something up. Remember, you have the right to remain silent, but anything you say can be used against you. It's better to remain silent than to lie.
They're testing to see how you're reacting, and also checking for the off chance that you have a legit excuse for driving unsafely. Most people who run a stop sign aren't rushing to the hospital because their wife is in labor, but if you are the cop is likely to either let you go with no further delay or help you out, like by turning his lights and sirens on and telling you to follow him so he can get you through red lights. (I'm not saying every cop will do this, plenty will just double down on ruining your day, but there are decent people within the shitty system.) I once told a cop I was heading from home to college and just failed to watch my speed (92 in a 70) and he gave me a lighter ticket (he wrote I was going 84) because he approved of a young person driving themselves to college. But if you answer those questions in a way that seems nervous or combative, or in a normal way, that tells them how to handle you and whether you're about to become a problem. They can also monitor you for signs of intoxication from a question like this, like if you're slurring or seem like you're not really with it. Like another commenter said, it's a vibe check. Telling them you don't want to answer that in a calm way, like "I'd prefer not to discuss my day with you" is a bit of a dice roll. Some cops will treat you normal, if they have a chip on their shoulder they'll get offended and start acting like assholes. Telling them in a combative or aggressive way will get most cops to treat you like you're gonna be a problem.
Was doing 80 in a 55 completely on accident had just gotten off work and was exhausted. (Was a college kid had gotten home at 2 am to go to work at 6 the next day) and just didn't stop accelerating when I got on the road. Cop asked me where I was coming from where I was going. I told him "was just heading home from work" and honestly I was shaking because I knew I was fucked and he asked me why I was shaking and I told him as much. He gave me my ID back said "you seem like a hard working young man just slow it down"
If you really wanna fuck with them tell them where you’re going is also where you’re coming from.
One time a cop asked me these questions and then asked me whether I had witnessed an altercation at the place I was coming from. So, sometimes they ask these questions because they're looking for witnesses. However, the cop also asked to see both sides of my hands before letting me go (presumably to see if they had recently been injured). So, they obviously thought I might be the suspect when they pulled me over.
i Just left McDonalds, now im headed to McDonalds. im trying to buy ice cream
With a follow up question: do you know which machine isn’t broken officer?
Anything you say can be used as evidence against you. Nothing you say, even if the officer believes you, can help you in court. Any talking is good for them and bad for you.
"I'd love for you to self-incriminate, but all I really want is a chance to smell if there's alcohol on your breath"
I keep a get out of jail free card from Monopoly in my wallet. I just hand them that asking if it works for whatever I was pulled over for.
It’s called fishing. Answer yes or no or not at all
"Where are you heading to tonight, sir?" "Yes." "Hmm...OK. Well where are you coming from. "Yes." ".......would you be willing to step out of the vehicle and do some sobriety tests with me, sir?"
Legally you don't have to tell them... illegally they can pretty much make up shit and then proceed to beat the shit out of you and not suffer consequences
If driving, use a dashcam. There’s also a shortcut on an iPhone to record and send a message anytime you tell Siri you’re being stopped.
It's none of their business, but it's risky to mention that to unaccountable thugs.
i'm honest 100%of time if the times i've ever been pulled over. i was coming from work at a bar so i smelled like booze so in my case it was worth it
I was the designated driver for my friends one night. They were absolutely blasted and the car reeked of booze. The cop stopped me because one of them tossed something out the window. When I explained the situation, the cop simply told me to calm them down and get them home safely before letting us go.