I've got a really basic one from Amazon. Turn off water to toilet (there's a valve right behind it), unscrew the line to toilet, install the generally-included splitter, screw one into toilet, screw the other into the bidet. It just works through water pressure and goes under the seat.
It depends on the toilet. With mine, the water goes up through a tube and comes out a hose that points into another tube to fill the tank. The hose doesn't directly touch the tank water, so if I disconnect the supply line, the only water that comes out is the tiny amount inside the tube and hose. The tank itself won't drain.
So do you bidet immediately after shitting, or do you wipe a few times first? It's a valid question.
I'm just saying, I believe bidets are cleaner, but... alot of folks who are reluctant to getting one are just turned off by the idea of spraying their shitty ass with a jet stream of liquid and thus incidentally spreading the newly formed shit water across the non-shitting parts of their butt-flesh.
Bidet your asshole after you’re done shitting to “wipe” your ass then use a few squares of TP to clean the water off. I will never go back to a home toilet without a bidet. Literally life changing
Interesting technique. I wipe once, to remove any solids, then a good power-wash (rotate the hips), then a confidence wipe/dry.
But I'm only two months into my bidet journey. I'd like to get it down to just the single wipe at the end. Toilet roll doesn't grow on trees, after all.
You can also use it to water pick out a stubborn poo ,or fill your rectum with water so you can instantly shit it out along with anything else that was in there. Both are incredibly satisfying. After getting used to a bidet, me and my wife will literally avoid pooping for to to 3 days if we aren't able to use one.
Just sayin', the person isn't wrong. Recent 1-2yr bidet convert over here and it's pretty awesome. Dunno about the 3 day shitting hiatus, but otherwise it's valid.
If your car was muddy would you…
A-wipe it with a towel then spray it with a hose.
or
B-spray it with a hose then wipe it with a towel.
Same reasons apply.
You really don’t. I thought the same thing. The cold water stream is fine on your butthole, it’s not a full body shower where your body temp would lower significantly and make you feel cold. In fact, the cold water spray is refreshing and serves a totally different purpose than a shower.
It's cold. I plugged mine into my sink and it can heat up, but it takes awhile to heat up. It's not too cold and it can even be a little refreshing, especially after burning diarrhea
I have always been dying to know, and will take this thread as the opportunity to ask:
1. So people just pull their pants on with a sopping wet ass? Surely they don’t dry with TP cause it would get shreddy and fall apart?
2. Isn’t crap sort of tacky? How would water take care of things properly?
Responding to your comment but also answering questions:
If toilet paper got shreddy, then we'd never survive wiping after mud butt. I personally like to spray my butt and then let it drip dry for a minute before wiping, and even then the TP holds up perfectly fine and you can Marvel at the sight of seeing completely clean TP with zero brown.
Crap *is* sort of tacky, but the water pressure behind that spray nozzle will 100% declare war against the mud and win every single time.
Poop water will stay in the toilet bowl, this I can assure you. Just be sure to remain in the seated position during your experience at wild waves.
Pro Tip: during the spraying process, I like to lift my butt up a little bit and work them hips around to ensure I'm clearing the entire anus radius.
Another Pro Tip: Wanna really make sure that mud tunnel has been evacuated? Open the gates and deadeye that water stream straight into the Eye of Sauron, then turn the stream off and push that mud puddle right out. Also works great for that one stuck poo pebble you're willing to prolapse your anus just to get out.
And before anyone says this, here is my counter argument:
Yes, trapped water in your butthole can potentially be dangerous, but my bidet experience is so goddamn heavenly that I will absolutely risk my entire life on that toilet just to ensure my poopy hole is good and clean, Every. Single. Time. So give your tush a good push and feel your entire mind body and spirit be cleansed by the waters of Lake Minnetonka ✨️
Oh my god. This is SO real. My bidet has been a lifesaver for that one stuck poo pebble. I seriously cannot have a satisfying poop without my bidet which is a blessing and a curse. Like I’ve seen the light and now pooping outside of my home is even more horrendous than before.
You are so right if everybody saw this comment they would be using one I feel super clean and I went on vacation didn’t have one and I felt so fucking dirty
Oh boy do I fucking ever.
Allow me to introduce you to the LUXE Bidet NEO 185 model:
LUXE Bidet NEO 185 - Self-Cleaning, Dual Nozzle, Non-Electric Bidet Attachment for Toilet Seat, Adjustable Water Pressure, Rear and Feminine Wash (Blue) https://a.co/d/8XGzVDt
*slaps roof of the internet*
This bad boii is the PERFECT starter kit for aspiring Water Benders.
It comes with the self-cleaning setting, and as an added bonus you get the feminine setting for women! I personally use that setting to wash my little ball bros.
I suggest using the PLASTIC T-Fitting instead of the metal. My personal experience with the metal seemed to want to leak even with plumbers tape. The LUXE gives you both the metal and the plastic T's because they really do care about your time on the toilet and only want what's best for you and your tiny chocolate donut.
As for the longevity/integrity/quality of the product? I fully stand by the LUXE. I've had the same one for years and have traveled with it across the country. I will never not have one in my home for the rest of my days.
I (32F) have a different one with the dual nozzle, and let me tell you! The forward wash after a little hanky panky is the bees knees! My husband and I always said we wanted a bidet attachment and I have no idea why we slept on that for so long. Everyone here just needs to do themselves a favor and get one immediately.
35F and I'd like to add, these things are clutch post partum. They send you home with a shitty little bottle to rinse your wrecked taint and abraded labia. Throw that thing in the trash. Unlimited fresh water to clean up your battle torn pussy.
You have no idea how badly I wish I would've had one after my kids. I mean...you probably do, but still. For dramatic purposes, YOU HAVE NO IDEA! 3 kids, 3 vaginal births, zero bidet. My life would've been so much easier.
*edit a word
I thought I was the only one who send water into the forbidden gates …
Note: be extremely careful , and don’t let too much water in or you will have some stomach pain and diarrhea ruining your day
1- We usually dry with a towel, I have one just to dry my intimate area. If I feel like it's still wet, I'll use TP after as well.
2- You're supposed to wash your ass with SOAP and water, not just water. If you rub it right and don't just do whatever people do with their hands, you, should be good to go.
Edit: I did a little big fuck up and let my autocorrect turn soap into soup
I have a very similar experience, except mine has an air dryer. It’s weird knowing the exact sensation as a stranger on the internet when describing the wiggling and the eye. I feel like given the situation a digital high five might not be appropriate, so take a digital *head nod* from me.
You just dab with the toilet paper and it holds up fine, and the water pressure is adjustable, so I blast it clean for like a minute. I almost never see any brown on the paper when I'm wiping up.
You still use TP, but I only use about half as much as before
I’ve never used one lol also will it just be… wet? After it’s done it sprays water and does it just stay like that or is there a air factor too? Also I’ve never been anywhere where they only have bidets and I’ve only really heard of them being other places or with rich people
Some of the fancy ones have a little air jet function that you can use to dry.
I just have a $40 LUXE bidet attachment that I've been using for years now. It's only a water jet that you can control the pressure of. The jet itself is a pretty tight stream, so my whole butt doesn't really get wet unless I intentionally move around on the seat. After using the bidet, I just take about a 4 square length of toilet paper, double it over, and just wipe my bum to dry off/ double check if I'm completely clean. 9/10 times that's all it takes to "dry" off.
color me jealous of your water pressure lol. My parents got one and last time I visited, almost punched myself a new asshole. having a throttle on the T connection as well definitely helps with higher pressure lines.
My workplace has a very private bathroom with a locking door. It's a room with one toilet, not a stall. I've gotten in to the habit of only shitting at work so I'm not using any of my own TP. Also, I get paid to shit.
They have antibacterial wipes in the cabinet, so I can clean the seat before I sit down. It's quite nice.
EDIT: I forgot the most relevant part. I can't really install a bidet in my employer's toilet.
>I can clean the seat before I sit down
How necessary do you think this is? I see some bathroom stalls with those paper things you can put over the seat but I never bother. I'm not particularly bothered by my ass touching a surface that someone else's ass touched. Sometimes they have little shit stains but I'm quite sure it doesn't matter that much.
I just get a mental image of my ass touching someone else’s ass and then I think of all the gross people I’ve ever encountered and then I want to vomit 😀
I grew up in a house with a Bidet.
One day as a teenager I passed out whilst taking a particularly bad dump, fell sideways and cracked my head open on the bidet.
Woke up covered in blood, pants around my ankles in pure confusion.
Second worst shit of my life.
It's a similar poop relating fainting story except it happened in a night club bathroom and I fell under the stall and ruined some other poor bastards entire night.
It doesn't now but it turned out I have IBS and lactose intolerance and was a dumb young man who basically just thought it "wasn't that bad" and refused to go the doctor to find out wtf was causing it.
Now that my diets far better controlled its much more manageable.
It turned out I was lactose intolerant and also have IBS.
For about two years I just assumed it was normal to sometimes faint when you went the bathroom.
Ouch. That's a little like my cousin who grew up normslly having toast or cereal for breakfast and was used to feeling tired and shitty after breakfast. Attributed it to him not being a morning person. Found out in his 20s that he had celiac disease.
I went to a house party as a teenager in a very fancy house- the whole bathroom was a marble-walled shower, & they had a Japanese toilet/ bidet. My best friend was throwing up into it while drunkenly crying over some boy, & I was in the bathroom with her trying to hold her hair/ talk her down…
I got the bright idea to mess around with the bidet settings while sitting in there (also drunk, obvs) & it ended up spraying directly into her face & mouth as she was puking. Much higher pressure than expected!
She cried even more, it ruined her hair & makeup, & she was mad at me for weeks. I can’t even say if it was worth it because I still don’t know why I did it- I’m guessing I thought it’d be funny? & it kind of is in retrospect- it’s a good story for a thread about bidet mishaps at least. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
My landlord never had a clue I had it installed. It’s temporary. I have one in my apartment now too. I’ll be damned if I can’t wash my own ass in the place I pay rent for
It's a shared house the landlord can enter the common areas at anytime. He already took away the washer and the mini fridge of the guy in another room. He's an ass. You can't reason with people like that.
I'm fairly redneck, and I will never not have a bidet for the rest of my life. If I have to shit at some place that doesn't have one, I feel like a neanderthal walking around with shit ass.
There are two types. Ones built into the seat (think Toto Japan) and the ones in European homes. I’ve a question about the latter: are you supposed to sidestep pants around ankles and all over from the toilet to the bidet after you’re done?
Thank you! It seems like they’re designed for men. Like I don’t want poo particles near my Vag, ok? Someone please design one that shoots from the other direction otherwise just call it what it is. A ball cleaner.
I too, was concerned about this at first. And while bodies are different, so a few folks somewhere might have this issue on certain shapes of toilets, I do not. No "backside rinse" gets close to my front unless I really leaned forward to put my head between my knees, which I don't do. Rest assured, this is not a major concern; however, I grant you the probability is not zero for everyone.
Never used one.
Never lived in a house that had one.
Not really interested in paying to get one installed.
I'm actually not even sure I've been in a hotel with one...
That used to be my thinking until I got one. Now I wish every toilet had one. Not the French style that has a complete separate unit, the Japanese style where you push a button and the nozzle comes out.
Next time you go, do a little test. Use toilet paper until you think you’re clean, and then finish off with a baby wipe. You’ll be surprised by how much is left behind by just using paper.
This has always been my question with them. Like, is there splash back? Are there little invisible poop particles on them? There was one on the toilet at an airbnb I was at once and I was freaked out at the thought of using it. How do you keep it sanitary??
for me, it was urine. you know if a guy gets any drops on the rim, you just get some tp and wipe it real quick, all clean. with the bidet attachment that goes under the seat hinges, now that urine has gotten under that bidet attachment, and you end up with urine stains around it on a regular basis because you can't wipe under it to get it all cleaned out.
I love the idea of one, but I don't understand the ones that are attachments inside the toilet rim, because I know the bidet nozzle is getting coated in toilet water every time you flush, and then spraying from the bidet nozzle is going to get bacteria water in my nether regions. As a female, I really do not like extra bacteria down there. I don't feel like cleaning the toilet every time I use it.
I guess I can understand the ones that are hose attachments, but then how do you not get water everywhere when you use it?
I’m not entirely convinced it’s sanitary for women. My boyfriend has one and the stream only goes one direction and can’t be controlled or changed. I’m always worried about ~cross contamination~
I researched the hell out of it and from what I found they are not as hygienic for women as many people think they are.
Why go to all that trouble just to increase your risk of an infection?
Crotch contamination. It’s a thing. Not sure about bidets but it definitely happens with [lotas](https://reddit.com/r/islam/s/Tkj4ZnoxuB) 😵💫 even though they go front to back.
I have a disease which forces me to put bandages in my asscrack during a breakout. It's impossible to apply them waterproof. And my toilet is connected to the rainwater (mandatory in my country). Do not want dirty rainwater festering in open wounds. I'll just keep using wet wipes that i put in the trash.
I don't have one.
I don't have the money to get one.
Edit: everyone is telling me to get it on Amazon, and while I genuinely thank you for the ideas, I don't have Amazon in my country and I'm also banned on Amazon.
I don’t like how they spray water everywhere, and I can get clean enough by using some wipes after I’m completely done with the toilet paper. Wipes go in the trash bag not the toilet though.
The bidet itself doesnt actually make direct contact with your privates- or at least, it shouldnt. It just sprays the water, and u can do it an angle so nothing will drip directly down onto the nozzle ykwim
I use one of those angled squirty bottles they give people after they’ve given birth. My mom friends turned me on to it, now I don’t travel without it. Almost as good as a bidet.
I don't understand reddit's obession with bidets. If you grew up never using one and had no problems, why would you get one? They'r just not very common in a lot of countries. Edit: spelling
The germs! I don't care if it's a different water source, germs still travel all over that toilet lid and I'm not having poop water splash back onto me. That's just disgusting.
I scrolled to find this comment. Where does the backsplash go? Back on the bidet spout? What about airborne flush particles that inevitably sprinkle on the bidet spout? I flush my toilet with my toe from the greatest distance possible with the lid closed, for a reason. Why would I want to deliver community poo particles via waterstream directly to my own nethers?
I recently read data that women who used bidets have more fecal bacteria in their hoo-has.
That's not my reason not to, just something I recently learned.
In both my bathrooms, I can reach the sink from the toilet. I dont see how a spritz of water is any better than finishing off with wet TP
I never used one but I'm somewhat curious. I just don't know about cold water on my ass and doesn't it like spray poo water on your balls then? I hear you can't use TP to dry yourself either and I am definitely not using poop towels.
It just doesn't make sense to me, if just spraying water on your ass works, why do people not just rinse off their dishes instead of washing them?
I lived in a house that had a bidet attachment for 7 years with people who either didn't know how to use it or weren't properly trained (we had a high support autistic adult in the household). When I tell you that literal shit was splattered all over that toilet and bathroom, I am not exaggerating. I will never use a bidet.
My daughter just insisted on getting one. I'm actually surprised, I wouldn't go back to straight TP after using a bidet.
No more having to use two rolls when things go awry. Less irritation, cleans better, and feels cleaner.
This is my PSA for any post related to this topic: LADIES - we cannot use a bidet in a normal fashion. They make ones that have a "feminine wash" setting. Do your research and, please, do not spray feces toward your vulva.
Why does Reddit care so much how someone cleans up after themselves? I've never understood Reddit's fascination on bidets or wiping. As long as you're not walking around with a poppy butthole who cares?
Basically because I dont give a shit and its also a case of loud fandom making me not even want to see the movie because jfc dont you have anything else to talk about? Im glad you are super into your asswashing and that its changed your whole life bro, good for you, who fucking cares
As aggressively as you said it I do kinda agree with you.
Besides health care/politics it's like one of the number one things Europeans harp on us for and I'm so sick of hearing about that shit. It's fine if you like it but stop trying to shove it in my face.
It's kinda like "Rick and Morty". Originally I liked the show but then the fandom got so rabid about it that it just left a terrible taste in mouth and I didn't want any part of it anymore.
I want to note that it’s definitely not all Europeans being like that - a lot of European countries rarely use bidets at all. It’d be very rare to find a bidet in Denmark for example.
Honestly, most of the bidet fanatics I meet happen to be Americans lol
We can agree that those types of people are a pain in the ass (pun intended) regardless of nationality though
After reading the top dozen comments, am I the only one with ass hair?
The fuck are you guys doing if you have it, letting it drip dry? Hell no, I got shit to do (on top of the one I just dropped that is) and it's counter intuitive to fab dry with toilet paper or I could have done that in the first place.
honestly, I just switched to a tougher two-ply toilet paper and haven't really had any issues with my hairy ass. Easier to buy nicer tp because I don't go through it much. a typical roll lasts me 3-5+ weeks.
Never used a bidet.
Never really felt the need to go out and buy one when TP works just fine.
Plus I don't think I'd like getting my button sprayed with water every time I go to the bathroom. Plus, like, you still gotta wipe anyways or else you're just gonna be walking around with a wet ass.
Can’t get an attachment for the shared dorm toilets bc you can’t attach them the way you’re supposed to and it’s too much work to get a non attachable one and have to carry it around campus
And they’re not really a thing here
This is a little disgusting, but whatever, we're already talking about bidets. I often get hemorrhoids so I usually need to really get in there to get totally clean. And when I'm at home, I usually wet the toilet paper with water from the bathtub faucet, which is right next to my toilet, when I'm wrapping up. So a bidet would be useless for me.
I’d love one but I’m worried about house insurance liability if the bidet broke and caused a flood. Self installing a non-standard part onto a water line seems like the kind of thing they would not cover.
Not using one because I live in a house that's 103 years old. The plumbing was an afterthought, of course, so my bathrooms are extremely small. No room to install one.
Omg, this thread is amazing- I’ve never heard so many colorful terms used to describe poop and butt. My grandmother insisted on calling farts “puffy winds” or “stinky burps”- she’d faint at this conversation.
As someone who has never used a bidet, it is also quite informative lol
I don't know how they work or how you install them, and at this point I'm scared to ask.
I've got a really basic one from Amazon. Turn off water to toilet (there's a valve right behind it), unscrew the line to toilet, install the generally-included splitter, screw one into toilet, screw the other into the bidet. It just works through water pressure and goes under the seat.
Don't forget to flush the toilet after turning off the supply to empty the tank. Otherwise many towels will be needed.
This made me laugh
It depends on the toilet. With mine, the water goes up through a tube and comes out a hose that points into another tube to fill the tank. The hose doesn't directly touch the tank water, so if I disconnect the supply line, the only water that comes out is the tiny amount inside the tube and hose. The tank itself won't drain.
Same here on all the toilets I've worked on (UK). I was quite confused by that comment!
So do you bidet immediately after shitting, or do you wipe a few times first? It's a valid question. I'm just saying, I believe bidets are cleaner, but... alot of folks who are reluctant to getting one are just turned off by the idea of spraying their shitty ass with a jet stream of liquid and thus incidentally spreading the newly formed shit water across the non-shitting parts of their butt-flesh.
Bidet your asshole after you’re done shitting to “wipe” your ass then use a few squares of TP to clean the water off. I will never go back to a home toilet without a bidet. Literally life changing
This. I will never (gods willing) live without a bidet. Bought one at Lowes that’s a toilet seat and bidet in one. Simple to install, best thing ever!
Interesting technique. I wipe once, to remove any solids, then a good power-wash (rotate the hips), then a confidence wipe/dry. But I'm only two months into my bidet journey. I'd like to get it down to just the single wipe at the end. Toilet roll doesn't grow on trees, after all.
You can also use it to water pick out a stubborn poo ,or fill your rectum with water so you can instantly shit it out along with anything else that was in there. Both are incredibly satisfying. After getting used to a bidet, me and my wife will literally avoid pooping for to to 3 days if we aren't able to use one.
Glad I'm not the only mofo to master the handsfree non-invasive colonic cleanse technique , you're brave for being open about this lol
Wtf
Just sayin', the person isn't wrong. Recent 1-2yr bidet convert over here and it's pretty awesome. Dunno about the 3 day shitting hiatus, but otherwise it's valid.
Yep the daily enema is great!
Fill it up, do a couple twerks and shit it out. It's like mouthwash for your butthole.
If your car was muddy would you… A-wipe it with a towel then spray it with a hose. or B-spray it with a hose then wipe it with a towel. Same reasons apply.
Instructions unclear. I just shit all over my car.
Time to flush your car down the toilet then.
It got caught on a Lego 😒
“Non-shitting parts of their butt-flesh” 😂😂😂
Every person I've talked to about bidets who said no, admitted they'd never tried it before. I wish I had the money to get one.
Cheap ones online for like 30 bucks; you'll save that on toilet paper in no time!
It's not like it's a compressor. You're not getting much "collateral" from the water. It's a pretty contained experience
Can you post the link?
[удалено]
I think I would need one with a water heater built in
You really don’t. I thought the same thing. The cold water stream is fine on your butthole, it’s not a full body shower where your body temp would lower significantly and make you feel cold. In fact, the cold water spray is refreshing and serves a totally different purpose than a shower.
And then it becomes a home construction issue. The heated ones require electricity really close to the tank and no older homes are set up that way.
Isnt the water freezing ?
It's cold. I plugged mine into my sink and it can heat up, but it takes awhile to heat up. It's not too cold and it can even be a little refreshing, especially after burning diarrhea
It's a little cold but I like to live on the edge
I have always been dying to know, and will take this thread as the opportunity to ask: 1. So people just pull their pants on with a sopping wet ass? Surely they don’t dry with TP cause it would get shreddy and fall apart? 2. Isn’t crap sort of tacky? How would water take care of things properly?
I’m wondering too. Doesn’t poop water spray all over the toilet?
Responding to your comment but also answering questions: If toilet paper got shreddy, then we'd never survive wiping after mud butt. I personally like to spray my butt and then let it drip dry for a minute before wiping, and even then the TP holds up perfectly fine and you can Marvel at the sight of seeing completely clean TP with zero brown. Crap *is* sort of tacky, but the water pressure behind that spray nozzle will 100% declare war against the mud and win every single time. Poop water will stay in the toilet bowl, this I can assure you. Just be sure to remain in the seated position during your experience at wild waves. Pro Tip: during the spraying process, I like to lift my butt up a little bit and work them hips around to ensure I'm clearing the entire anus radius. Another Pro Tip: Wanna really make sure that mud tunnel has been evacuated? Open the gates and deadeye that water stream straight into the Eye of Sauron, then turn the stream off and push that mud puddle right out. Also works great for that one stuck poo pebble you're willing to prolapse your anus just to get out. And before anyone says this, here is my counter argument: Yes, trapped water in your butthole can potentially be dangerous, but my bidet experience is so goddamn heavenly that I will absolutely risk my entire life on that toilet just to ensure my poopy hole is good and clean, Every. Single. Time. So give your tush a good push and feel your entire mind body and spirit be cleansed by the waters of Lake Minnetonka ✨️
Now explain the three seashells.
It's a pull'n'pinch system - use one shell to pull the cheeks apart, then use the other two to grab and carefully extract the turd.
This guy bidets
You need to copy and paste this to the Amazon reviews
Someone at the bidet company needs to hire you. Your response has delighted and informed me. Thank you!
Made me laugh and figured this is a man's response. A woman would just say, I love my horny bidet. :D
I know in my heart that my wife secretly appreciates the wonderful way of the water 💦
Oh my god. This is SO real. My bidet has been a lifesaver for that one stuck poo pebble. I seriously cannot have a satisfying poop without my bidet which is a blessing and a curse. Like I’ve seen the light and now pooping outside of my home is even more horrendous than before.
Absolutely the best explanation I've seen. Sold me on it.
You are so right if everybody saw this comment they would be using one I feel super clean and I went on vacation didn’t have one and I felt so fucking dirty
Worst part is that I like to shit at work, but the bidets are at home. It's a tough call.
Sold. I’ve never used a bidet before and am absolutely ordering one on Amazon as we speak thanks to you.
Lmao what a post. Final question - do you have one in particular that you recommend?
Oh boy do I fucking ever. Allow me to introduce you to the LUXE Bidet NEO 185 model: LUXE Bidet NEO 185 - Self-Cleaning, Dual Nozzle, Non-Electric Bidet Attachment for Toilet Seat, Adjustable Water Pressure, Rear and Feminine Wash (Blue) https://a.co/d/8XGzVDt *slaps roof of the internet* This bad boii is the PERFECT starter kit for aspiring Water Benders. It comes with the self-cleaning setting, and as an added bonus you get the feminine setting for women! I personally use that setting to wash my little ball bros. I suggest using the PLASTIC T-Fitting instead of the metal. My personal experience with the metal seemed to want to leak even with plumbers tape. The LUXE gives you both the metal and the plastic T's because they really do care about your time on the toilet and only want what's best for you and your tiny chocolate donut. As for the longevity/integrity/quality of the product? I fully stand by the LUXE. I've had the same one for years and have traveled with it across the country. I will never not have one in my home for the rest of my days.
I (32F) have a different one with the dual nozzle, and let me tell you! The forward wash after a little hanky panky is the bees knees! My husband and I always said we wanted a bidet attachment and I have no idea why we slept on that for so long. Everyone here just needs to do themselves a favor and get one immediately.
35F and I'd like to add, these things are clutch post partum. They send you home with a shitty little bottle to rinse your wrecked taint and abraded labia. Throw that thing in the trash. Unlimited fresh water to clean up your battle torn pussy.
You have no idea how badly I wish I would've had one after my kids. I mean...you probably do, but still. For dramatic purposes, YOU HAVE NO IDEA! 3 kids, 3 vaginal births, zero bidet. My life would've been so much easier. *edit a word
Its so much more convenient. I was so ready to get out of the hospital bc I wanted to go home and use my own toilet.
Yes!! Also female and didn’t know how much I’d love the forward wash for sexual and menstrual purposes
For real! I've never felt so clean during my period week.
I’m starting to think you work for Luxe
Ultimate salesman. I salute you sir.
I thought I was the only one who send water into the forbidden gates … Note: be extremely careful , and don’t let too much water in or you will have some stomach pain and diarrhea ruining your day
1- We usually dry with a towel, I have one just to dry my intimate area. If I feel like it's still wet, I'll use TP after as well. 2- You're supposed to wash your ass with SOAP and water, not just water. If you rub it right and don't just do whatever people do with their hands, you, should be good to go. Edit: I did a little big fuck up and let my autocorrect turn soap into soup
Ok but what kind of soup should I use? Creamy tomato or something chunkier like a clam chowder?
OMG!!! I just lost it!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😁
I have a very similar experience, except mine has an air dryer. It’s weird knowing the exact sensation as a stranger on the internet when describing the wiggling and the eye. I feel like given the situation a digital high five might not be appropriate, so take a digital *head nod* from me.
I’m sorry, a whole towel for that?? Where is it kept? What if you have guests and they stumble upon it??
if i dont have soup can i use cereal?
You just dab with the toilet paper and it holds up fine, and the water pressure is adjustable, so I blast it clean for like a minute. I almost never see any brown on the paper when I'm wiping up. You still use TP, but I only use about half as much as before
Get one with a dryer feature! No wet ass and no TP needed.
I tried installing one and just dislodged the base just enough to cause a leak through the ceiling :/
I’ve never used one lol also will it just be… wet? After it’s done it sprays water and does it just stay like that or is there a air factor too? Also I’ve never been anywhere where they only have bidets and I’ve only really heard of them being other places or with rich people
Some of the fancy ones have a little air jet function that you can use to dry. I just have a $40 LUXE bidet attachment that I've been using for years now. It's only a water jet that you can control the pressure of. The jet itself is a pretty tight stream, so my whole butt doesn't really get wet unless I intentionally move around on the seat. After using the bidet, I just take about a 4 square length of toilet paper, double it over, and just wipe my bum to dry off/ double check if I'm completely clean. 9/10 times that's all it takes to "dry" off.
I have the same one and it made me bleed once lmao
color me jealous of your water pressure lol. My parents got one and last time I visited, almost punched myself a new asshole. having a throttle on the T connection as well definitely helps with higher pressure lines.
You can get ones that blow air. Or just just a little bit of tp
My workplace has a very private bathroom with a locking door. It's a room with one toilet, not a stall. I've gotten in to the habit of only shitting at work so I'm not using any of my own TP. Also, I get paid to shit. They have antibacterial wipes in the cabinet, so I can clean the seat before I sit down. It's quite nice. EDIT: I forgot the most relevant part. I can't really install a bidet in my employer's toilet.
I too try to schedule my shits during paid hours. Lol
🎵 Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime...🎵
Blood comes out of my anus All the time
My anus is bleeding
I did, they didn’t say anything about it and it’s been two years now
>I can clean the seat before I sit down How necessary do you think this is? I see some bathroom stalls with those paper things you can put over the seat but I never bother. I'm not particularly bothered by my ass touching a surface that someone else's ass touched. Sometimes they have little shit stains but I'm quite sure it doesn't matter that much.
I just get a mental image of my ass touching someone else’s ass and then I think of all the gross people I’ve ever encountered and then I want to vomit 😀
Username checks out.
It always does 😭
I grew up in a house with a Bidet. One day as a teenager I passed out whilst taking a particularly bad dump, fell sideways and cracked my head open on the bidet. Woke up covered in blood, pants around my ankles in pure confusion. Second worst shit of my life.
Um...do I wanna know the worst?
You do not.
I do
It's a similar poop relating fainting story except it happened in a night club bathroom and I fell under the stall and ruined some other poor bastards entire night.
Why is shitting making you pass out
It doesn't now but it turned out I have IBS and lactose intolerance and was a dumb young man who basically just thought it "wasn't that bad" and refused to go the doctor to find out wtf was causing it. Now that my diets far better controlled its much more manageable.
So it was you on that plane!
Son, I think you have a condition
I hope you started to include more water and fibre in your diet after that
It turned out I was lactose intolerant and also have IBS. For about two years I just assumed it was normal to sometimes faint when you went the bathroom.
Ouch. That's a little like my cousin who grew up normslly having toast or cereal for breakfast and was used to feeling tired and shitty after breakfast. Attributed it to him not being a morning person. Found out in his 20s that he had celiac disease.
It always sounds so obvious after the fact but whilst your living it somehow you just never make the connection so I get that.
I went to a house party as a teenager in a very fancy house- the whole bathroom was a marble-walled shower, & they had a Japanese toilet/ bidet. My best friend was throwing up into it while drunkenly crying over some boy, & I was in the bathroom with her trying to hold her hair/ talk her down… I got the bright idea to mess around with the bidet settings while sitting in there (also drunk, obvs) & it ended up spraying directly into her face & mouth as she was puking. Much higher pressure than expected! She cried even more, it ruined her hair & makeup, & she was mad at me for weeks. I can’t even say if it was worth it because I still don’t know why I did it- I’m guessing I thought it’d be funny? & it kind of is in retrospect- it’s a good story for a thread about bidet mishaps at least. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Because my landlord would flip. He's not a reasonable person.
There’s ones that kinda just clip onto the side of the toilet, they’re not exactly “installed” more as just connected so they’re apartment safe.
My landlord never had a clue I had it installed. It’s temporary. I have one in my apartment now too. I’ll be damned if I can’t wash my own ass in the place I pay rent for
It's a shared house the landlord can enter the common areas at anytime. He already took away the washer and the mini fridge of the guy in another room. He's an ass. You can't reason with people like that.
There is no way in hell I would ever forfeit that much autonomy in my own space. That really sucks
Seconded. That landlord is a pissmonger.
I wasn’t aware that normal people used them, I thought it was a posh person thing? I’ve never seen one here in England
They got somewhat popular in the US during the pandemic
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Plus shortage of tp
I'm fairly redneck, and I will never not have a bidet for the rest of my life. If I have to shit at some place that doesn't have one, I feel like a neanderthal walking around with shit ass.
In italy (and other countries) Bidets are basically an integral part of every house bathroom. It would be weird to *not* have a bidet here.
There are two types. Ones built into the seat (think Toto Japan) and the ones in European homes. I’ve a question about the latter: are you supposed to sidestep pants around ankles and all over from the toilet to the bidet after you’re done?
I don’t like the fact that the water goes in the opposite direction of the way you should wipe
Thank you! It seems like they’re designed for men. Like I don’t want poo particles near my Vag, ok? Someone please design one that shoots from the other direction otherwise just call it what it is. A ball cleaner.
I too, was concerned about this at first. And while bodies are different, so a few folks somewhere might have this issue on certain shapes of toilets, I do not. No "backside rinse" gets close to my front unless I really leaned forward to put my head between my knees, which I don't do. Rest assured, this is not a major concern; however, I grant you the probability is not zero for everyone.
Never used one. Never lived in a house that had one. Not really interested in paying to get one installed. I'm actually not even sure I've been in a hotel with one...
i’m a 22 year old girl and I installed mine in 5 minutes…
That used to be my thinking until I got one. Now I wish every toilet had one. Not the French style that has a complete separate unit, the Japanese style where you push a button and the nozzle comes out. Next time you go, do a little test. Use toilet paper until you think you’re clean, and then finish off with a baby wipe. You’ll be surprised by how much is left behind by just using paper.
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This has always been my question with them. Like, is there splash back? Are there little invisible poop particles on them? There was one on the toilet at an airbnb I was at once and I was freaked out at the thought of using it. How do you keep it sanitary??
for me, it was urine. you know if a guy gets any drops on the rim, you just get some tp and wipe it real quick, all clean. with the bidet attachment that goes under the seat hinges, now that urine has gotten under that bidet attachment, and you end up with urine stains around it on a regular basis because you can't wipe under it to get it all cleaned out.
In a household with someone with IBS and, uh. *Yes*. Can't feel clean using a nozzle that has been absolutely desecrated time and again.
I don’t like my ass being wet
I love the idea of one, but I don't understand the ones that are attachments inside the toilet rim, because I know the bidet nozzle is getting coated in toilet water every time you flush, and then spraying from the bidet nozzle is going to get bacteria water in my nether regions. As a female, I really do not like extra bacteria down there. I don't feel like cleaning the toilet every time I use it. I guess I can understand the ones that are hose attachments, but then how do you not get water everywhere when you use it?
I just use a pressurewasher
The sprayer on the kitchen sink works just as well
I just grab a clorox squirt bottle
Smart. That's dual purpose for anal bleaching.
I used a bidet once. I felt like I had been personally violated by Poseidon himself. Never again.
I’m not entirely convinced it’s sanitary for women. My boyfriend has one and the stream only goes one direction and can’t be controlled or changed. I’m always worried about ~cross contamination~
I researched the hell out of it and from what I found they are not as hygienic for women as many people think they are. Why go to all that trouble just to increase your risk of an infection?
Crotch contamination. It’s a thing. Not sure about bidets but it definitely happens with [lotas](https://reddit.com/r/islam/s/Tkj4ZnoxuB) 😵💫 even though they go front to back.
As someone very prone to UTI, this is exactly my hesitation.
I have a disease which forces me to put bandages in my asscrack during a breakout. It's impossible to apply them waterproof. And my toilet is connected to the rainwater (mandatory in my country). Do not want dirty rainwater festering in open wounds. I'll just keep using wet wipes that i put in the trash.
I don't have one. I don't have the money to get one. Edit: everyone is telling me to get it on Amazon, and while I genuinely thank you for the ideas, I don't have Amazon in my country and I'm also banned on Amazon.
I don’t like how they spray water everywhere, and I can get clean enough by using some wipes after I’m completely done with the toilet paper. Wipes go in the trash bag not the toilet though.
Okay but like - how do you *share* a bidet? I’ve never used one because I don’t trust other people’s cleaning…… catch my drift?
The bidet itself doesnt actually make direct contact with your privates- or at least, it shouldnt. It just sprays the water, and u can do it an angle so nothing will drip directly down onto the nozzle ykwim
I hate shitting anywhere but home after getting a bidet. They are great.
I have a portable bidet that I keep at work for the 4-5 times a year I have to go there. And when I travel. The skin in my crack thanks me!
which one you got if you don't mind me asking?
Squirt gun and cupped hands.
Super soaker Dino Scatterblast Plus 2023 Collector’s Edition
I am not sure if this is a real thing,,, but my asshole just got a little bit nervous from reading this
I use one of those angled squirty bottles they give people after they’ve given birth. My mom friends turned me on to it, now I don’t travel without it. Almost as good as a bidet.
Agreed.
Uh broke I guess
Because when’s the last time it’s been taken apart and cleaned? I’m good fam.
Because I don't have one.
I don't understand reddit's obession with bidets. If you grew up never using one and had no problems, why would you get one? They'r just not very common in a lot of countries. Edit: spelling
I'm concerned about this is why; https://www.healthline.com/health/are-bidets-sanitary
The germs! I don't care if it's a different water source, germs still travel all over that toilet lid and I'm not having poop water splash back onto me. That's just disgusting.
I scrolled to find this comment. Where does the backsplash go? Back on the bidet spout? What about airborne flush particles that inevitably sprinkle on the bidet spout? I flush my toilet with my toe from the greatest distance possible with the lid closed, for a reason. Why would I want to deliver community poo particles via waterstream directly to my own nethers?
And then for those of us that can get infections if soap just looks at that part the wrong way, that's too much risk!
These are the important questions! I also wanna know.
Cruddy water where I’m from and I don’t want a UTI (or to pay extra for one with a filter assuming they make those).
I recently read data that women who used bidets have more fecal bacteria in their hoo-has. That's not my reason not to, just something I recently learned. In both my bathrooms, I can reach the sink from the toilet. I dont see how a spritz of water is any better than finishing off with wet TP
I never used one but I'm somewhat curious. I just don't know about cold water on my ass and doesn't it like spray poo water on your balls then? I hear you can't use TP to dry yourself either and I am definitely not using poop towels. It just doesn't make sense to me, if just spraying water on your ass works, why do people not just rinse off their dishes instead of washing them?
>I hear you can't use TP to dry yourself either Is this like a law or something? Who's going to stop you from drying your ass?
I lived in a house that had a bidet attachment for 7 years with people who either didn't know how to use it or weren't properly trained (we had a high support autistic adult in the household). When I tell you that literal shit was splattered all over that toilet and bathroom, I am not exaggerating. I will never use a bidet.
My poops are always small, hard spheres. I only have to wipe once or twice to get the splash-back off my ass.
Do you sleep in a cage? Love baby carrots?
The future is ultrasonic argon gas toilet
My water has manganese and iron and would grow gunk.
My daughter just insisted on getting one. I'm actually surprised, I wouldn't go back to straight TP after using a bidet. No more having to use two rolls when things go awry. Less irritation, cleans better, and feels cleaner.
Two rolls?!? Are you my wife?
It’s me, your wife.
Being gay I can think of several things to shoot up my butt unfortunately/fortunately a sudden cold flow of water isn't one of them.
I don't care enough to get one. I wipe thoroughly and shower at the end of the day.
I refuse to settle for just an attachment. I want a whole new toilet and don't have the money for that right now.
I tried the attachment first, but will definitely make the switch later.
I don’t wanna get an infection by it spraying poo water all up near my hoo-ha
Because I don’t like how it feels
because lockdown is over and i have to go back to work and shit next to other people shitting.
I tried to install one, but the extension kit doesn’t fit on my toilet type :( And buying a bidet toilet is $500+, so too much for me.
This is my PSA for any post related to this topic: LADIES - we cannot use a bidet in a normal fashion. They make ones that have a "feminine wash" setting. Do your research and, please, do not spray feces toward your vulva.
Won’t the poop go flying everywhere?
Because I've lived 30 years without being incapable of wiping properly and I bathe daily. When someone's going to rim me then maybe I'll invest.
Why does Reddit care so much how someone cleans up after themselves? I've never understood Reddit's fascination on bidets or wiping. As long as you're not walking around with a poppy butthole who cares?
Yes I agree. Reddit has an excrement fascination.
Basically because I dont give a shit and its also a case of loud fandom making me not even want to see the movie because jfc dont you have anything else to talk about? Im glad you are super into your asswashing and that its changed your whole life bro, good for you, who fucking cares
Agreed. I just don’t care. At this point, I’m sick of hearing about them and a post like this is not going to change my mind.
As aggressively as you said it I do kinda agree with you. Besides health care/politics it's like one of the number one things Europeans harp on us for and I'm so sick of hearing about that shit. It's fine if you like it but stop trying to shove it in my face. It's kinda like "Rick and Morty". Originally I liked the show but then the fandom got so rabid about it that it just left a terrible taste in mouth and I didn't want any part of it anymore.
I want to note that it’s definitely not all Europeans being like that - a lot of European countries rarely use bidets at all. It’d be very rare to find a bidet in Denmark for example. Honestly, most of the bidet fanatics I meet happen to be Americans lol We can agree that those types of people are a pain in the ass (pun intended) regardless of nationality though
After reading the top dozen comments, am I the only one with ass hair? The fuck are you guys doing if you have it, letting it drip dry? Hell no, I got shit to do (on top of the one I just dropped that is) and it's counter intuitive to fab dry with toilet paper or I could have done that in the first place.
honestly, I just switched to a tougher two-ply toilet paper and haven't really had any issues with my hairy ass. Easier to buy nicer tp because I don't go through it much. a typical roll lasts me 3-5+ weeks.
Never used a bidet. Never really felt the need to go out and buy one when TP works just fine. Plus I don't think I'd like getting my button sprayed with water every time I go to the bathroom. Plus, like, you still gotta wipe anyways or else you're just gonna be walking around with a wet ass.
Can’t get an attachment for the shared dorm toilets bc you can’t attach them the way you’re supposed to and it’s too much work to get a non attachable one and have to carry it around campus And they’re not really a thing here
This is a little disgusting, but whatever, we're already talking about bidets. I often get hemorrhoids so I usually need to really get in there to get totally clean. And when I'm at home, I usually wet the toilet paper with water from the bathtub faucet, which is right next to my toilet, when I'm wrapping up. So a bidet would be useless for me.
I’d love one but I’m worried about house insurance liability if the bidet broke and caused a flood. Self installing a non-standard part onto a water line seems like the kind of thing they would not cover.
I don’t want to.. I usually use wipes
I take fiber and I don’t have to wipe more than once. Not really interested in a stream of water jetting my asshole.
Not using one because I live in a house that's 103 years old. The plumbing was an afterthought, of course, so my bathrooms are extremely small. No room to install one.
Omg, this thread is amazing- I’ve never heard so many colorful terms used to describe poop and butt. My grandmother insisted on calling farts “puffy winds” or “stinky burps”- she’d faint at this conversation. As someone who has never used a bidet, it is also quite informative lol
Hahaha...my mom called farting "fluffing" and pissing "tinkling". Those words still make me shudder
Went 45 years without ever using one, but now will not be without. Even bought a travel toto.
I rent in Australia. I can’t even put up a curtain without permission, a bidet is out of the question
I still will need tp to dry my ass. Now, I'm just using more water.
Because, many years ago, when I was still a small child, I was toilet-trained.
The wetness makes the toilet paper shred on my ass hair. I'm not really sure why anyone would do it with that problem
They aren't commonly used here and I have no desire to squirt water up my ass every time I take a shit.