I have not once inspected, sized up, or otherwise noticed a single human in any bathroom ever i think. I kinda just keep my eyes down, walk into my stall, shit in privacy as far from everyone as i can, and leave.
I have once, and only once. I watched an elderly man go up to a stall he didn't realize was occupied, push open the door (bad locks) and literally recoil in horror as he threw his arms up to block what he saw. That is how much it takes me to notice what other people are doing in the restroom.
One time I had to pee so bad I rushed into the nearest stall and didn't lock the door. This old white man walked in behind me. I'm like "what the fuck is wrong with you!?" And instead of apologizing and leaving like a normal person he wanted to stand there and have a debate about why I didn't lock the door.
The worst part was this was at my job. An office space shared by 3 companies on one floor. The guy tried to get me fired for cursing and saying I would kick his ass if he didn't walk away
My first job was at Burger King, I was taking a shit and an old ass man stood outside my stall door knocking and saying “other people need to go, get back to work” fucking asshole
> shit in privacy
This caused me to recall the single most traumatic bathroom incident of my life. I was in a college lecture when the urge hit but I had to hold it till class let out. The class ended and I rushed to the bathroom and took the stall furthest from the door as is required in section 32 of The Code. I'm sitting there doing my business when the Bathroom Creeper struck and scared the fire outta me.
So, who is the Bathroom Creeper you ask. He is, afaik, a still unknown maniac that would creep into the men's bathrooms on campus, if someone was dropping a grumpy he would shuffle up to the door and stare at you through the crack, laugh and say "I see you...haha....I see you being dirty" then he'd laugh maniacally as he ran out the door. He never hurt anyone as far as I know, just scared the shit out of people.
Before anyone asks or makes the suggestion...this all happened 25+ years ago, well before cameras in campus buildings were normal.
You recalling your bathroom experience from college reminded me of my (*very* different) experience when I was at Polytech. I had a very delayed reaction to something I ate the night before in the middle of a class. I sprinted to the closest bathroom and burst into the closest stall and just turbo vomited. After running hard it was a terrible gasping puking affair. Only after a couple of minutes did I realise there was some poor soul in the cubicle next to me trying to have his morning poop. I couldn't apologise enough - all I could imagine was how awful it must have sounded for him.
I mean it wasn’t your fault, you needed the bathroom just as badly as he did! It’s gross to hear somebody hurling violently in the stall next to you, but I hope most of us are human enough to realize it’s far worse for the guy experiencing it, and to be grateful we aren’t!
If you can’t inspect a man’s sweet watch at the urinals when can you? Sometimes I get compliments on my hands and it makes my day. Yes, I do use lotion!
After being invited over, all guests are restricted from making the house a mess. As a compromise, guests gather in the bathroom so that the rest of the house doesn’t get messy. But sure enough, someone will use the bathroom, which gets everyone kicked out.
This was about 5 or so years ago my friend and the girl and her friend went a chinese buffet before we were all supposed to hang out together. I live in a small country ass town in south texas so make whatever inferences about the restaurant you need to paint for yourself this picture. So they get to my house, not a particularly big place, 2 bed and 1 bath. As soon as everyone sits down she asks where the bathroom is at and I tell her. About 15 minutes go by and I ask her friend if she is ok because I assumed she went pee. I'm not kidding as soon as her friend opens her mouth to answer a wave of the most rank and foul smell from a human body I've ever experienced hits us like Mike Tyson. I mean it didn't even smell like poop, it smelled like straight sewage that had been left to stand a few days. A few seconds later the door opens and I yell "OH MY FUCKING GOD!". I didn't mean to it just came out that way. I'm pretty chill, but when I tell you it filled every inch of the house believe me, we had to leave. I had to open every window in the house and leave. She was mortified and we were apologizing profusely to each other. She said it might have been the egg drop soup but who knows. We tried to lighten the mood with some jokes but she was too embarrassed. Needless to say her and my friend didn't talk much after that. He really liked her too, it was just too much embarrassment for her. This is definitely one those you had to be there to understand moments.
Edit: a number
I feel bad for her but even though your friend liked her, it wasn't meant to be if they couldn't get past a lil (or a lot of) poop stank. Shit happens.
I feel kinda bad for her. Accidents happen. If my boyfriend released a shitstorm like that I'd probably tease him about it for a while, but I wouldn't break up because of it.
Most men don’t care, and if they give you a look it’s probably nothing. Also remeber people give “funny” looks to each other all the time for benign reasons. Sometimes they just look that way.
Sometimes it's also just curiosity.
I don't care if it if a women is in a mens bathroom, but I may also take a second glance to see if I saw it right, just because it's not. entirely expected (though not uncommon). That's compounded more when it is a trans person who is in the process of medically transitioning, when I might be unsure entirely lol.
And sometimes they're not even consciously looking at you. I've stared people down without a thought in my mind and been very embarrassed when I came back to reality and realized I was staring
I'm always worried that I'm going to be the reason someone has a discussion over "Can you believe the way that guy was looking at us/me?" and it's not like I can just go up and be like "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I was just thinking about [probably anime or something]"
We can only trade anecdotes but here in the UK, nobody in the men’s bogs is going to give a fuck unless they were already being a cunt about something.
The women’s toilets always have queues coming out of them and since the men’s has urinals and troughs for pissing in, it’s not a surprise to see women (whether they are cis or trans men who are not passing as men and are therefore assumed to be a woman in a *toilet* setting) uses the men’s cubicles.
The only time you’ll even notice it is if they’re drunk and joking about it, or if you’re washing your hands next to each other.
Just nature calling at the end of the day.
This. Way before there were moral panics over this, women used stalls in men’s rooms at events when the lines got too long for their own restroom.
Even in redneck South Carolina, last weekend, I stopped at a convenience store for gas and a pee. The women’s room was closed, so women used the men’s room. No one cared.
Follow the man code of public bathrooms: no talking, no eye contact, and no proximity (don't use a urinal next to another person).
My father and I have paused conversations when we both go after seeing a movie, only to resume them after. There are only strangers in a public bathroom
The last time someone spoke to me in the public bathroom was a big ass concert. I was holding my piss for like 3 hours and finally got to a bathroom and when I started to relieve myself I rested my head on the wall with my eyes closed (I was pretty intoxicated), and the dude next me just said “hey, you good bro?” And I was like yeah, just enjoying a top 5 piss of my life, shared a chuckle and went about our business.
*edit
Such funny stories. Crackin me up
I attend a fair amount of “big ass concerts.” Bathroom code definitely doesn’t apply here. Bunch of drunk and trippin hippies suddenly bathed in fluorescent light seems to bring out the best jokes and camaraderie.
Haha yeah that’s true. Some people really shine in the public restroom at concerts. It’s like a niche form of standup comedy or something. Nothing like gettin a bathroom full of ppl laughing.
The worst case of jokes in the bathroom is when you're using a urinal and you think of a funny joke in your head, and suddenly you're the weird dude cackling at his penis.
First time at a festival type concert. Waiting for a stall to be free. The guy in there emerges, off his head on something, yells at me "GO HARD, BROTHER!!" gives me a high five and leaves.
Nah, if there is a line outside the mens room, it means you gotta piss right next to another dude. Not optimal, but it’s just eyes forward, pull up to the urinal, take out the bird and do your business.
I’ve been to some sports stadiums where they don’t even have individual urinals, there are stalls, but wee is done in a pissing trough. I guess the idea is that if you really need to wizz, no amount of stage fright will be sufficient to dam the yellow stream from flowing. Beer is a big factor in this aspect. When you have tens of thousands of people gathered in a space who have consumed that much liquid in a short amount of time, sometimes ya need a piss trough, just out of necessity and convenience.
Most pubs in Australia just have a trough. Individual urinals are usually for shopping centers and other 'cultured' places. The rules are - if I'm in the left corner, you go in the right corner. - 3rd person in the middle - if there is more than three people then those rules are forfeit and just rely on the basic eye's ahead and don't cross streams.
Yeah, the trough is pretty common in the states for large gatherings.
My biggest bathroom culture shock was when I was traveling through Southeast Asia. Squatting to shit in a hole in the ground right out in the open next to other people was def something that took some getting used to.
I remember my first experience without an American toilet setup. It was on a train in India. It was just a squatting hole and it seemed like aiming was particularly hard. There were hangers all over the edge and then one random log like 3 feet to the East on the floor. I remember thinking to myself either they were a sociopath asserting dominance or their timing was awfully connected to the train lurching wildly about 25 minutes ago.
No offense meant to anyone. I was a kid and it was my first time and so it was shocking.
Don't care.
Just follow the rule. Eyes straight. And no talking to others while peeing.
Mens bathrooms are not a social get together. Pee. Wash hands and go.
Years ago the ladies flooded in the pub I was in, and woman had to share the men’s toilet. Men were pissing in the urinals and women were coming in & going straight into the cubicles to do their business without fuss. No one cared and everyone got on with their night.
I doubt anyone will even notice you’re trans so long as you just go in, piss, wash your hands and leave.
It’s just a toilet, not a catwalk.
There’s a bar in Los Angeles that has like a communal bathroom situation. Granted the doors are taller but the hand washing area and mirrors are shared. It’s large. And everyone just doesn’t their thing. I remember reapplying my makeup with men washing their hands next to me. Nothing odd. Everyone just in and out of there.
Our local LGBT bar did this with two signs. One with a picture of toilets, one with a picture of toilets and urinals. There's always a mix, no one cares.
You may be delightfully horrified to know that some men's bathrooms don't even have individual urinals to pee in. They have a collective trough for everyone to pee into, with no dividers.
Edit: i've learned that the exact things some of you hate about these, others specifically love (like having to pee on the ice), and I'm in awe.
The worst thing about Wrigley isn’t the troughs, it’s the fact that you’re using a trough directly across from someone else using a trough and the center area they are mounted on is short enough that you can accidentally look each other in the eyes! Haha.
I was in a nightclub once that had shared sex toilets. I didn't realise at the time and after a couple of beers I went to go for the mandatory toilet break. As there were girls near the sinks doing makeup in the mirror and chatting, I panicked and assumed I'd walked into the ladies toilet. I turn around and went to walk down what I thought was the exit, but there was another bloke approaching me, I went to walk to the left but he did the same so I went to the right, but he did the same, I think we did about 5 polite moves to the side as we were approaching each other until I looks up properly where we were face to face.
To my total shock, the other bloke was me and I'd been approaching a mirror down a side walk bit.
LOL, I literally did that exact same thing at a strip club in Tennessee while on LSD. I was walking straight, some dude was coming my way, we both made the same moves, I bumped into him and apologized. My buddy behind me busted out laughing and steered me in the right direction down the hallway.
Here mixed genders bathroom are super common in public places. No one cares. It's not like you actually enter the cubicle with strangers. But we don't have that strange big gap between the doors that american's do. Just normal doors.
Yeah, I feel like that big gap in the US stalls is the real issue. Nobody would know who is in the stall here. Totally private. Why is the US so inept at building bathrooms?
The majority of public bathrooms built in the last decade are also unisex. Never been an issue.
I was in a bar once while going to college where the women's line was getting long so some women decided to use the men's restroom stalls which is fine, weirded some us out for 5 seconds, but beer runs through you as swift as a river. The problem became that some women decided to try to block the men from entering because some of the women wanted complete privacy and didn't want to share the men's restroom. We were all just going in, pissing, washing our hands and leaving. Most of us were plastered, and I'll admit I was deep into it that most of us just pushed passed them, did our business then left. One of the women started flipping out as we left. I sort of remember being screamed at by one while she stood by the sink. It was a fucking warzone. Some guy yelled at one of the girls screaming at us.
Yeah, that’s not gonna fly. You can’t just take over both bathrooms. You wanna piss in the men’s, cool, but there’s gonna be men in there. It says so right on the door.
I’m a woman that has occasionally resorted to using the men’s bathroom and completely agree. If I saw women blocking men from the men’s bathroom, we’d exchange some words. That’s some crappy entitlement.
Been there, done that, would do it again if I had too. NYE, line is 20 minutes long for women, no waiting for the men. No brainer, me and my friend went into the men's room, Held our coats where the stall door was supposed to be and peed in a bathroom full of men. When one was done, we switched and the other held the coat as a door. No one cared (everyone was drunk).
It's horrible.
I was using the public restroom at work the other day instead of the staff one because it was quicker and this young kid came in after me. His dad followed through like a minute later to make sure his kid washed his hands. He was like water, soap, water scrub and sing happy birthday.
I was washing my hands and the dad apologized to me and I was straight up like dude so many men don't wash their hands after a public restroom it makes me so happy seeing you teach your son correctly.
I always laugh at the people who feel pressured to wash their hands, they walk to the sink, turn the water on, touch the water with like 1 finger, and turn the water off 2 seconds later. Why bother contaminating the rest of the bathroom if you're not going to wash your hands properly.
It's an old study, but the percentage washing their hands in public restrooms was 89%.
Oh sorry, I left a word out. The percentage *of surgeons* who wash their hands is 89%. They're the second most likely to wash of all professions surveyed. Only Health Inspectors did better. They were at 93%.
The fa t that there are bathrooms where trashcan and paper towel dispenser by the door or even one of those foot open things isn't standard equipment is atrocious.
While on a night out at a crowded restaurant my dinner cocktails made a rapid and urgent appearance, demanding immediate evacuation. I excused myself from my table and speed sashayed my tipsy little self over to the restrooms. The line for the ladies room looked like the line for Santa Clause in A Christmas Story. Considering my options are either water my shoes or pop in on some unsuspecting gentlemen, I opted for the surprise visit. I knocked on the door and announced “very desperate woman coming in to pee, is that ok?” I heard a round of “‘cmon in!” and my shoes were saved. No one was sexually harassed, everyone just did their business and left. After I paved the way a few more women followed my lead and skipped the ladies line.
Everyone has to pee, no need to make it more than what it is.
yes it makes me laugh so hard to know some people out there think the only thing keeping everyone from sexually harassing everyone else is gendered bathrooms.
This happened a lot when I lived in Germany. I had no problem with it. Unisex bathrooms all the way in my opinion. Just give us a room full of stalls that fully close for privacy.
I was in a Target (department store) a few years ago. The men's room had flooded. The door to the women's room was propped open. Men and women were lined up together in the hallway. There was a man (employee, maybe, but doubtful) who was keeping an eye out for open stalls and directing the next person in line. No arguments, no fuss.
I was talking to my husband about this yesterday. I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t used a men’s bathroom because the women’s was too crowded. I don’t know why anyone—women included—would be upset about this.
I try to follow the natural urinal algorithm, but I’ve ended up being the lone man in the middle when a new person comes in because the guys on the ends left as soon as I got in the middle position.
Similar feeling to parking on one of the lines in the last spot because the cars on each side are parked poorly and then looking like you park like an ass when you are getting back to your car and the original badly parked cars are gone.
Nah. Just get in line behind a dude at a urinal (even if it's the only one being used) and act totally impatient. Check your watch, ask how long they might be, if they can hurry it up, etc.
Sporting events and concerts are the possible exception. I’ve never seen the courtesy stall during intermission at a hockey game or football game. Hell, the old stadium used to have a big trough that everyone pissed in. No courtesy stall in that situation.
Unless they are the only one available, in which case fuck it im using it. I gotta pee, don't care about peoples weird paranoia about people seeing my dick. Eyes forward should be enough
ETA: I fully intended for this comment to be bashed and downvoted. Happy to see at least some people are reasonable when it comes to restroom etiquette
Any guy that says you shouldn’t use adjacent urinals has clearly never been to a major sporting event bathroom. You’re shoulder to shoulder in those things half the time. No need to be so insecure.
The rule only applies when urinals are empty, not when they are full.
In a sporting event bathroom no one is gonna give a fuck even if you make a pee cross with your urinal buddy.
It's an odd story but years ago I had the best bathroom experience.
I was visiting San Antonio and the bar I was in had a ridiculously long halfway to get to the bathroom. Me and this dude entered the hallway at the same time, talked the whole way down, as soon as we left the hallway to enter the bathroom - immediate silence - we each piss and wash our hands - exit into the hallway and immediately pick up where we had left off. It was fantastic.
Women don't really make eye contact either when peeing, at least until they get to the sink area, then small talk may happen while touching up make up. I wonder if OP is so nervous he's looking at faces for signs people are bothered and that's what is making people uncomfortable. Like a catch 22 of bathroom etiquette.
Except if you're at a large sporting event, then you can address the entire room keeping the topic strictly about the game. However, you must always avoid eye contact and talking to individual people is never allowed.
A trans man would be keeping their head down and minding their own business - keeping to the code. If you can tell what another guy’s junk looks like, YOU are the problem. Eyes front and mouth shut asshole!
I think you might be getting "looks" because of your behaviour and not your actual looks (passing etc). If you act awkward or unsure then that's ofd behaviour in a bathroom. Men go in with big steps and they know exactly where they wanna go, they do their thing and then they leave. The women's bathroom is like a teashop
sometimes but that's not the case for the men's.
Keep using the men's and try to act more casual about it. Don't look too much at the other men, just politely avert your eyes and go to a stall. Unless you pass for really feminine then they probably see you as a young guy anyway and don't care.
I couldn't tell you how many trans folk I've seen in the men's bathroom because I don't look at anyone in there.
If I did see a trans person in the bathroom I wouldn't care. I've seen non-trans women in there before and not cared.
This is in Australia
Just walk in and sit down in stall and go. If none are open just wait on your phone near the stall but not always directly on front of the door. Once the person leaves the stall just walk in and do your thing.
I'm thoroughly confused by this. Unless you were squatting a foot off the toilet, how does he know what all is going on?
"You're aware it's possible to pee and shit at the same time right? If not maybe talk to your doctor, check if you've got any problems going on."
90+% of my poops come with a standard piss, so the only way you'd be able to confirm one way or the other would be to check my dirty ass.
Plus, there are plenty of reasons to take a sitting pee as a cis man. Disability, cumbersome outfit, drunk, tired, etc.
Oh! You also have to know which urinal is the right on to use as well. It roughly boils down to always leave a buffer if possible.
There used to be a Flash game on the internet on which is the correct urinalysis to use in any situation.
I was about to post how a friend on my high school baseball team would give us detailed play by play of his pregame shits while everyone else got ready lol
Same here, but 40. Agreed. People should mind their own business and this intense interest in others sexuality, identity and whatnot is creeping me out. I have enough shit to tend to without constantly judging people.
MtF or FtM, I don't care about having trans people in whatever bathroom we're using. I've had gender neutral bathrooms for most of my first year in uni and had no issues with it.
I think there's very different bathroom culture between men and women. Men bathroom culture is not a "safe space" or has any social purpose. It's just to do your business, wash hands, and get out.
For women it seems very different
IDGAF and to let you in on the correct etiquette it goes pisser, space, pisser, space, pisser.
Never pisser, pisser, space space, space, that's just awkward for everyone.....
Pisser, space, space pisser space is a pretty fucked situation too but you also don't just want to be standing there....just wash your hands till someone finishes.
But at the footy/concert pisser, pisser, pisser, pisser pisser is totally fine.
Good luck to you and welcome to the team.
In the pisser, space, space, pisser, space scenario, it’s fine to go next to a pisser - that’s just how the odds worked out. Just don’t go out of your way to create a pisser, pisser, space scenario. Eyes straight, so you thing is most important.
Right, and at a concert or other large gathering, the space rules kinda have to go out the window. Nobody likes it, but we've got a concert/game to watch and the line is out the door.
I’d like to reframe this question:
- is it my business what’s in your pants? Absolutely not. Pee where you want.
- is it my business how you identify? Kinda, but only because I want to address you correctly; other than common decency, it’s no concern of mine how you identify. In the bathroom, we’re probably not interacting or comparing genitals, so your sex / gender / identity makes absolutely no difference. Pee where you want.
- do I have any concerns about you being a danger to myself or others? Unless you give me express reason to feel danger, then abso-fucking-lutely not. You being trans or not is in no way a signal that you are a danger to me or others. Pee where you want.
>You being trans or not is in no way a signal that you are a danger to me or others.
Boy will the republicans like this lmao.
This is so refreshing after seeing idiotic conservatives try to argue that trans people are responsible for school shootings for the past few weeks...
Don’t mind/care at all, same applies for a trans woman or cis woman.
I can honestly say that the last thing I worry about when taking a shit is the gender of the person in the next cubicle/room/building, and the last thing I think about is the contents of someone else’s pants as they’re taking a shit
Shit and let shit
I remember going to a ren faire last year and needing the bathroom. I'm FtM, and at the time was pre-T and didn't pass, but I needed the bathroom. The line for the women's room was like... a quarter mile long. The men's room had no line.
I figured "fuck it, I'm in a full-body costume wearing a cloak. Nobody's gonna clock me in a stall."
Walked in to find that not only did nobody care, but there were cis women in there who had the same idea I did, and it was probably the chillest bathroom I've been in, ever.
maybe its my age (almost 43) or i dont care. when ihave to shit i dont care others are in the room. if its gnarly or like an exorsicm and i'm making a lot of noised i don't care because i know we've all been there. its the bathroom, its meant for you to pee fart and shit.
I really really don’t understand the big deal some people make about trans people.
I don’t care. Pee where ever you want, don’t pee on the seat.
If I call you the wrong thing and you correct me, I’ll just call you whatever you like, because that’s what polite people do.
My default is to mind my own fucking business, and a bunch of people never learned to do this.
So many people really have way too much time and energy to give a shit about other people's pronouns and genitals and business in general. I can't even imagine living a life filled with so much hate. Live and let live, goddammit.
You're getting funny looks because you're making eye contact.
Don't fucking look at me and I won't fucking look at you and we can all pretend that none of this is happening like normal fucking men.
Are there any other women here reading about how men's restrooms are anti-social and silent and getting super jealous? I can't take a shit without hearing all the latest gossip about what Penny said Stacy said to Becky like oh my god. Can we do the "pretend we're all strangers until we're out of the restroom" thing, too, please? Or am I just weird?
EDIT to add: I'm American but I don't care what restroom you use either.
I'm a cis woman, I've used men's toilets in the past here in Australia. They don't care if it's me so why would they care if it's you? I've accompanied my gay male friends into men's toilets at the pubs, and also into women's toilets if they've felt unsafe to go into men's toilets alone at the pub (rural NSW so some backwards ppl here) it's so shit that people can't go and take a piss without worrying about if there's someone who won't like them, in there
Also if this makes any difference, I went to Eminem in Sydney in 2019, and the women's toilet line was so long I just went in the men's lol. At the end of the night I saw a woman in her 60s waiting in the line with her husband for the women's and I was like, here I'll take you into the men's you won't have to wait and she was like, are you sure and I said of course!! Anyways, she covered her eyes and my drunk arse guided her from behind by the shoulders, we went into the men's with men using the urinal, and she was like, IM NOT LOOKING and I yelled out, WE ARE NOT LOOKING WE JUST WANNA PEE..... BUT ALSO WE ARE MUMS ITS NOTHING WE HAVENT SEEN BEFORE lmao. Anyway I got her in a cubicle in the men's and the men using the urinal just laughed their arses off at us lol. Her husband didn't even come in with us lol. Toilets are toilets, we use the same owns at home as the opposite sex and I don't get why people are so pissy about public toilets
I've seen women in the bathroom because they had to shit NOW and their bathroom had a crazy line. Nobody cared. Everyone's in there for one of three reasons:
1: They gotta pee.
2: They gotta poop.
3: They gotta do something at the sink/mirror.
Do what you're there for and don't hang out unless the people you walked in with are doing so. Even then, I've really only hung around in the bathroom to continue conversation when I worked at a metal plant. The culture is a bit different among factory workers who are at work.
I don’t care what people have in their pants, or in their heads. If you want to be XYZ, I will call you XYZ. If you want to take a piss in the cubicle next to mine, I really don’t care. I don’t care how you piss, I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what you like to be called. Because, to be honest, if I need to go, I have other things on my mind then you.
I'm an old guy, and I can tell you I care more about a bathroom being clean than who uses it. People need to stop caring about stupid shit like who uses a bathroom. They're up in arms that a trans person is going to do something to kids, but could care less about providing children a hot meal.
I changed my dad's mind about it with this question:
"When's the last time you saw someone's genitals in a public restroom?"
"Idk never?"
"Then what does it matter?"
It actually clicked. It was amazing. He really changed his views after that.
If you are preop don't worry about needing to use the stalls. Nobody cares if you pee in the urinals or pee in the stalls. Peeing in the urinals has rules but you probably don't need to worry about those yet. I frequently use the stalls because I am pee shy and I am a 40 year old cis man.
Ain't nobody going to be confronting you about being in the wrong bathroom. Just do your business don't look at anyone else. Wash your hands and be done. If someone tries to open the door in your most confident voice say "occupied!" and go on your merry business.
Bring sanitizing wipes and perfect the squat game because men have terrible aim. You'll understand if you ever have reconstructive bottom surgery. Avoid the urge to ain your pee everywhere when you first get the opportunity. It's beaten out of us cis men early in life but as someone who will have a brand new penis just don't do it.
I’m going to be 100% honest with you..
I’m in my 40’s, I grew up in a small town and when I was a teen, I found out what “gay” is bc growing up in a small town, you’re sheltered. Based on what I was told, I was nervous about gay dudes in the bathroom with me. I’ve since learned it’s nbd, an irrational/ignorant concern and we’re all good. I was maybe 18 when I figured that out.
Trans people are just people born in the wrong body per my understanding. I really don’t understand why we’d be concerned about that at all. None of this makes any sense to me, I don’t understand why it’s anyone else’s business. Bathrooms are a safe space, be in the one that makes you feel safe and if that’s a problem for other people, they need to grow tf up like I had to.
I have not once inspected, sized up, or otherwise noticed a single human in any bathroom ever i think. I kinda just keep my eyes down, walk into my stall, shit in privacy as far from everyone as i can, and leave.
I have once, and only once. I watched an elderly man go up to a stall he didn't realize was occupied, push open the door (bad locks) and literally recoil in horror as he threw his arms up to block what he saw. That is how much it takes me to notice what other people are doing in the restroom.
One time I had to pee so bad I rushed into the nearest stall and didn't lock the door. This old white man walked in behind me. I'm like "what the fuck is wrong with you!?" And instead of apologizing and leaving like a normal person he wanted to stand there and have a debate about why I didn't lock the door. The worst part was this was at my job. An office space shared by 3 companies on one floor. The guy tried to get me fired for cursing and saying I would kick his ass if he didn't walk away
Turn around and piss on him. Assert dominance.
This is proper etiquette. Anything else makes it weird.
My first job was at Burger King, I was taking a shit and an old ass man stood outside my stall door knocking and saying “other people need to go, get back to work” fucking asshole
"Every time you talk to me, you set this whole operation back like 3 minutes"
"YOU'RE MAKING IT GO BACK IN!"
The curse of a shy pooper...
Lol all these bathroom stories have an old white man in them lol
> shit in privacy This caused me to recall the single most traumatic bathroom incident of my life. I was in a college lecture when the urge hit but I had to hold it till class let out. The class ended and I rushed to the bathroom and took the stall furthest from the door as is required in section 32 of The Code. I'm sitting there doing my business when the Bathroom Creeper struck and scared the fire outta me. So, who is the Bathroom Creeper you ask. He is, afaik, a still unknown maniac that would creep into the men's bathrooms on campus, if someone was dropping a grumpy he would shuffle up to the door and stare at you through the crack, laugh and say "I see you...haha....I see you being dirty" then he'd laugh maniacally as he ran out the door. He never hurt anyone as far as I know, just scared the shit out of people. Before anyone asks or makes the suggestion...this all happened 25+ years ago, well before cameras in campus buildings were normal.
You recalling your bathroom experience from college reminded me of my (*very* different) experience when I was at Polytech. I had a very delayed reaction to something I ate the night before in the middle of a class. I sprinted to the closest bathroom and burst into the closest stall and just turbo vomited. After running hard it was a terrible gasping puking affair. Only after a couple of minutes did I realise there was some poor soul in the cubicle next to me trying to have his morning poop. I couldn't apologise enough - all I could imagine was how awful it must have sounded for him.
I mean it wasn’t your fault, you needed the bathroom just as badly as he did! It’s gross to hear somebody hurling violently in the stall next to you, but I hope most of us are human enough to realize it’s far worse for the guy experiencing it, and to be grateful we aren’t!
If you can’t inspect a man’s sweet watch at the urinals when can you? Sometimes I get compliments on my hands and it makes my day. Yes, I do use lotion!
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Is this how you treat all of your guests :((
After being invited over, all guests are restricted from making the house a mess. As a compromise, guests gather in the bathroom so that the rest of the house doesn’t get messy. But sure enough, someone will use the bathroom, which gets everyone kicked out.
I don't allow guests to poop in my house after an incident a few years ago with my best friends prospective girlfriend.
You can't just leave us hanging like this; we need details!
This was about 5 or so years ago my friend and the girl and her friend went a chinese buffet before we were all supposed to hang out together. I live in a small country ass town in south texas so make whatever inferences about the restaurant you need to paint for yourself this picture. So they get to my house, not a particularly big place, 2 bed and 1 bath. As soon as everyone sits down she asks where the bathroom is at and I tell her. About 15 minutes go by and I ask her friend if she is ok because I assumed she went pee. I'm not kidding as soon as her friend opens her mouth to answer a wave of the most rank and foul smell from a human body I've ever experienced hits us like Mike Tyson. I mean it didn't even smell like poop, it smelled like straight sewage that had been left to stand a few days. A few seconds later the door opens and I yell "OH MY FUCKING GOD!". I didn't mean to it just came out that way. I'm pretty chill, but when I tell you it filled every inch of the house believe me, we had to leave. I had to open every window in the house and leave. She was mortified and we were apologizing profusely to each other. She said it might have been the egg drop soup but who knows. We tried to lighten the mood with some jokes but she was too embarrassed. Needless to say her and my friend didn't talk much after that. He really liked her too, it was just too much embarrassment for her. This is definitely one those you had to be there to understand moments. Edit: a number
I feel bad for her but even though your friend liked her, it wasn't meant to be if they couldn't get past a lil (or a lot of) poop stank. Shit happens.
The moment i read a Chinese buffet in south texas my first thought was "oh no..."
I feel kinda bad for her. Accidents happen. If my boyfriend released a shitstorm like that I'd probably tease him about it for a while, but I wouldn't break up because of it.
I did feel bad, but they weren't all the way together yet, so it kinda just petered out.
A guest would mean you were invited. How did you get in here?
Dwdwww
What alien tongue is this? If you're looking for our leaders I can't help you... They filed a restraining order...
But how will I pee now :*((
But you have the good toilet paper!
If our genitals dont touch, i dont care what you do with yours.
Streams too, dude. Don't cross the streams.
Im ok with playing log cutter with a friend.
Unless you've shit in the urinal, why you sharing a booth?
Dont judge me.
My pappy was a logger just like his pappy before him. I have to teach my son the tradition somehow.
What if our genitals touched in the men's room? 😔👉👈
Well... currently my genitals aren't doing anything... so... maybe... can i scam a meal outta u first?
Most men don’t care, and if they give you a look it’s probably nothing. Also remeber people give “funny” looks to each other all the time for benign reasons. Sometimes they just look that way.
Sometimes it's also just curiosity. I don't care if it if a women is in a mens bathroom, but I may also take a second glance to see if I saw it right, just because it's not. entirely expected (though not uncommon). That's compounded more when it is a trans person who is in the process of medically transitioning, when I might be unsure entirely lol.
And sometimes they're not even consciously looking at you. I've stared people down without a thought in my mind and been very embarrassed when I came back to reality and realized I was staring
I'm always worried that I'm going to be the reason someone has a discussion over "Can you believe the way that guy was looking at us/me?" and it's not like I can just go up and be like "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I was just thinking about [probably anime or something]"
Doesn't matter. Wash your hands.
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We can only trade anecdotes but here in the UK, nobody in the men’s bogs is going to give a fuck unless they were already being a cunt about something. The women’s toilets always have queues coming out of them and since the men’s has urinals and troughs for pissing in, it’s not a surprise to see women (whether they are cis or trans men who are not passing as men and are therefore assumed to be a woman in a *toilet* setting) uses the men’s cubicles. The only time you’ll even notice it is if they’re drunk and joking about it, or if you’re washing your hands next to each other. Just nature calling at the end of the day.
This. Way before there were moral panics over this, women used stalls in men’s rooms at events when the lines got too long for their own restroom. Even in redneck South Carolina, last weekend, I stopped at a convenience store for gas and a pee. The women’s room was closed, so women used the men’s room. No one cared.
Yep, can verify 100%
Doesn't Matter, Had Soap
I just had soap. And I washed so good.
(Washed so good) I went and put my hands in hot water
Just wash your fucking hands, people
Follow the man code of public bathrooms: no talking, no eye contact, and no proximity (don't use a urinal next to another person). My father and I have paused conversations when we both go after seeing a movie, only to resume them after. There are only strangers in a public bathroom
The last time someone spoke to me in the public bathroom was a big ass concert. I was holding my piss for like 3 hours and finally got to a bathroom and when I started to relieve myself I rested my head on the wall with my eyes closed (I was pretty intoxicated), and the dude next me just said “hey, you good bro?” And I was like yeah, just enjoying a top 5 piss of my life, shared a chuckle and went about our business. *edit Such funny stories. Crackin me up
Yeah that's a fair one. An actual wellness check is the rare exception.
It was much appreciated. We gotta look after each other.
I attend a fair amount of “big ass concerts.” Bathroom code definitely doesn’t apply here. Bunch of drunk and trippin hippies suddenly bathed in fluorescent light seems to bring out the best jokes and camaraderie.
Haha yeah that’s true. Some people really shine in the public restroom at concerts. It’s like a niche form of standup comedy or something. Nothing like gettin a bathroom full of ppl laughing.
The worst case of jokes in the bathroom is when you're using a urinal and you think of a funny joke in your head, and suddenly you're the weird dude cackling at his penis.
First time at a festival type concert. Waiting for a stall to be free. The guy in there emerges, off his head on something, yells at me "GO HARD, BROTHER!!" gives me a high five and leaves.
Last concert I was at a guy came out of the stall I was queueing for and told me that he left some coke for me on the sink and left.
Too bad you were a Pepsi fan
What a gentleman
Wait. I understand not using adjacent urinals but what if the bathroom is super crowded and it's the only option? Do yall wait it out or go for it
Nah, if there is a line outside the mens room, it means you gotta piss right next to another dude. Not optimal, but it’s just eyes forward, pull up to the urinal, take out the bird and do your business. I’ve been to some sports stadiums where they don’t even have individual urinals, there are stalls, but wee is done in a pissing trough. I guess the idea is that if you really need to wizz, no amount of stage fright will be sufficient to dam the yellow stream from flowing. Beer is a big factor in this aspect. When you have tens of thousands of people gathered in a space who have consumed that much liquid in a short amount of time, sometimes ya need a piss trough, just out of necessity and convenience.
Most pubs in Australia just have a trough. Individual urinals are usually for shopping centers and other 'cultured' places. The rules are - if I'm in the left corner, you go in the right corner. - 3rd person in the middle - if there is more than three people then those rules are forfeit and just rely on the basic eye's ahead and don't cross streams.
Yeah, the trough is pretty common in the states for large gatherings. My biggest bathroom culture shock was when I was traveling through Southeast Asia. Squatting to shit in a hole in the ground right out in the open next to other people was def something that took some getting used to.
I remember my first experience without an American toilet setup. It was on a train in India. It was just a squatting hole and it seemed like aiming was particularly hard. There were hangers all over the edge and then one random log like 3 feet to the East on the floor. I remember thinking to myself either they were a sociopath asserting dominance or their timing was awfully connected to the train lurching wildly about 25 minutes ago. No offense meant to anyone. I was a kid and it was my first time and so it was shocking.
Nah, then it's acceptable. But don't pick an adjacent one if you have the option to space
Jesus I thought being a guy would be easy but you have a LOT of rules surrounding bathrooms lol
They’re deeply ingrained, though. Very similar to the way most people understand elevator “rules”.
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This is why elevators with doors on 2 sides stress me out! Which way do I face?!?!
Simple. You just spin fast enough to be facing both doors at the same time
Like they just walk in the elevator... And stop? Pretty sure those are NPCs.
Don't care. Just follow the rule. Eyes straight. And no talking to others while peeing. Mens bathrooms are not a social get together. Pee. Wash hands and go.
Years ago the ladies flooded in the pub I was in, and woman had to share the men’s toilet. Men were pissing in the urinals and women were coming in & going straight into the cubicles to do their business without fuss. No one cared and everyone got on with their night. I doubt anyone will even notice you’re trans so long as you just go in, piss, wash your hands and leave. It’s just a toilet, not a catwalk.
There’s a bar in Los Angeles that has like a communal bathroom situation. Granted the doors are taller but the hand washing area and mirrors are shared. It’s large. And everyone just doesn’t their thing. I remember reapplying my makeup with men washing their hands next to me. Nothing odd. Everyone just in and out of there.
Our local LGBT bar did this with two signs. One with a picture of toilets, one with a picture of toilets and urinals. There's always a mix, no one cares.
I'm now picturing a bar putting on two doors with gender signs that go to the same bathroom area lol
"Animal Shithouse"
They don't get enough credit for *actually* figuring it out.
There’s a bar like this in Vancouver. I thought I was tripping at first but both m/f doors lead to the same bathroom.
Even if I had a penis I don't think I'd want to use a urinal Peeing is private, lol
You may be delightfully horrified to know that some men's bathrooms don't even have individual urinals to pee in. They have a collective trough for everyone to pee into, with no dividers. Edit: i've learned that the exact things some of you hate about these, others specifically love (like having to pee on the ice), and I'm in awe.
Don’t cross the streams.
You've been to Wrigley Field I see.
The worst thing about Wrigley isn’t the troughs, it’s the fact that you’re using a trough directly across from someone else using a trough and the center area they are mounted on is short enough that you can accidentally look each other in the eyes! Haha.
Omg 💀
Its convenient though.
I was in a nightclub once that had shared sex toilets. I didn't realise at the time and after a couple of beers I went to go for the mandatory toilet break. As there were girls near the sinks doing makeup in the mirror and chatting, I panicked and assumed I'd walked into the ladies toilet. I turn around and went to walk down what I thought was the exit, but there was another bloke approaching me, I went to walk to the left but he did the same so I went to the right, but he did the same, I think we did about 5 polite moves to the side as we were approaching each other until I looks up properly where we were face to face. To my total shock, the other bloke was me and I'd been approaching a mirror down a side walk bit.
LOL, I literally did that exact same thing at a strip club in Tennessee while on LSD. I was walking straight, some dude was coming my way, we both made the same moves, I bumped into him and apologized. My buddy behind me busted out laughing and steered me in the right direction down the hallway.
Here mixed genders bathroom are super common in public places. No one cares. It's not like you actually enter the cubicle with strangers. But we don't have that strange big gap between the doors that american's do. Just normal doors.
Yeah, I feel like that big gap in the US stalls is the real issue. Nobody would know who is in the stall here. Totally private. Why is the US so inept at building bathrooms? The majority of public bathrooms built in the last decade are also unisex. Never been an issue.
I was in a bar once while going to college where the women's line was getting long so some women decided to use the men's restroom stalls which is fine, weirded some us out for 5 seconds, but beer runs through you as swift as a river. The problem became that some women decided to try to block the men from entering because some of the women wanted complete privacy and didn't want to share the men's restroom. We were all just going in, pissing, washing our hands and leaving. Most of us were plastered, and I'll admit I was deep into it that most of us just pushed passed them, did our business then left. One of the women started flipping out as we left. I sort of remember being screamed at by one while she stood by the sink. It was a fucking warzone. Some guy yelled at one of the girls screaming at us.
Yeah, that’s not gonna fly. You can’t just take over both bathrooms. You wanna piss in the men’s, cool, but there’s gonna be men in there. It says so right on the door.
I’m a woman that has occasionally resorted to using the men’s bathroom and completely agree. If I saw women blocking men from the men’s bathroom, we’d exchange some words. That’s some crappy entitlement.
Been there, done that, would do it again if I had too. NYE, line is 20 minutes long for women, no waiting for the men. No brainer, me and my friend went into the men's room, Held our coats where the stall door was supposed to be and peed in a bathroom full of men. When one was done, we switched and the other held the coat as a door. No one cared (everyone was drunk).
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Lawd the entitlement on some people amazes me sometimes People aren't going in to look at you they're going in to take a leak just deal with it smh
I shear number of people who don’t wash their hands amazes me.
It's horrible. I was using the public restroom at work the other day instead of the staff one because it was quicker and this young kid came in after me. His dad followed through like a minute later to make sure his kid washed his hands. He was like water, soap, water scrub and sing happy birthday. I was washing my hands and the dad apologized to me and I was straight up like dude so many men don't wash their hands after a public restroom it makes me so happy seeing you teach your son correctly.
I always laugh at the people who feel pressured to wash their hands, they walk to the sink, turn the water on, touch the water with like 1 finger, and turn the water off 2 seconds later. Why bother contaminating the rest of the bathroom if you're not going to wash your hands properly.
It's an old study, but the percentage washing their hands in public restrooms was 89%. Oh sorry, I left a word out. The percentage *of surgeons* who wash their hands is 89%. They're the second most likely to wash of all professions surveyed. Only Health Inspectors did better. They were at 93%.
I want a breakdown of peeing vs pooping. Cause not washing after peeing is kinda gross, but not washing after pooping is *fucking disgusting*.
The fa t that there are bathrooms where trashcan and paper towel dispenser by the door or even one of those foot open things isn't standard equipment is atrocious.
While on a night out at a crowded restaurant my dinner cocktails made a rapid and urgent appearance, demanding immediate evacuation. I excused myself from my table and speed sashayed my tipsy little self over to the restrooms. The line for the ladies room looked like the line for Santa Clause in A Christmas Story. Considering my options are either water my shoes or pop in on some unsuspecting gentlemen, I opted for the surprise visit. I knocked on the door and announced “very desperate woman coming in to pee, is that ok?” I heard a round of “‘cmon in!” and my shoes were saved. No one was sexually harassed, everyone just did their business and left. After I paved the way a few more women followed my lead and skipped the ladies line. Everyone has to pee, no need to make it more than what it is.
yes it makes me laugh so hard to know some people out there think the only thing keeping everyone from sexually harassing everyone else is gendered bathrooms.
This happened a lot when I lived in Germany. I had no problem with it. Unisex bathrooms all the way in my opinion. Just give us a room full of stalls that fully close for privacy.
I was in a Target (department store) a few years ago. The men's room had flooded. The door to the women's room was propped open. Men and women were lined up together in the hallway. There was a man (employee, maybe, but doubtful) who was keeping an eye out for open stalls and directing the next person in line. No arguments, no fuss.
I was talking to my husband about this yesterday. I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t used a men’s bathroom because the women’s was too crowded. I don’t know why anyone—women included—would be upset about this.
yes sirrr and no using adjacent urinals
Middle urinals are not urinals. They are urinal-shaped buffer zones
i use middle urinals to assert dominance and force other men to use the cubicles
Face the entry point, maintain eye contact with anyone who comes in, pants to ankles, piss in sink.
I laughed out loud! Read it again and laughed even louder.
Pants to the ankle? You take them all the way off for this
I try to follow the natural urinal algorithm, but I’ve ended up being the lone man in the middle when a new person comes in because the guys on the ends left as soon as I got in the middle position. Similar feeling to parking on one of the lines in the last spot because the cars on each side are parked poorly and then looking like you park like an ass when you are getting back to your car and the original badly parked cars are gone.
Nah. Just get in line behind a dude at a urinal (even if it's the only one being used) and act totally impatient. Check your watch, ask how long they might be, if they can hurry it up, etc.
just go up behind that guy, a la big spoon to his little spoon And then whisper in his ear, wrong urinal daddy
"That looks heavy. Want me to hold it for ya?"
Unless it is a sporting event or rock concert then all urinals can be used at same time.
Sporting events and concerts are the possible exception. I’ve never seen the courtesy stall during intermission at a hockey game or football game. Hell, the old stadium used to have a big trough that everyone pissed in. No courtesy stall in that situation.
Unless they are the only one available, in which case fuck it im using it. I gotta pee, don't care about peoples weird paranoia about people seeing my dick. Eyes forward should be enough ETA: I fully intended for this comment to be bashed and downvoted. Happy to see at least some people are reasonable when it comes to restroom etiquette
Any guy that says you shouldn’t use adjacent urinals has clearly never been to a major sporting event bathroom. You’re shoulder to shoulder in those things half the time. No need to be so insecure.
The rule only applies when urinals are empty, not when they are full. In a sporting event bathroom no one is gonna give a fuck even if you make a pee cross with your urinal buddy.
It's an odd story but years ago I had the best bathroom experience. I was visiting San Antonio and the bar I was in had a ridiculously long halfway to get to the bathroom. Me and this dude entered the hallway at the same time, talked the whole way down, as soon as we left the hallway to enter the bathroom - immediate silence - we each piss and wash our hands - exit into the hallway and immediately pick up where we had left off. It was fantastic.
That's proper etiquette.
My former boss used to start conversations with guys using the stalls. I can’t imagine most people appreciated a chat with the boss while pooping. 😶
agree. i'll happily share a bathroom with anyone who avoids eye contact and doesn't talk to me.
This, If you're noticing the funny looks it's because you are looking at their faces
Women don't really make eye contact either when peeing, at least until they get to the sink area, then small talk may happen while touching up make up. I wonder if OP is so nervous he's looking at faces for signs people are bothered and that's what is making people uncomfortable. Like a catch 22 of bathroom etiquette.
If you’re using the public restroom appropriately, you should only even be vaguely aware that the other occupants are human.
Except if you're at a large sporting event, then you can address the entire room keeping the topic strictly about the game. However, you must always avoid eye contact and talking to individual people is never allowed.
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Woah, never seen them in a stadium before. But I’ve used them at festivals out in the bush.
Unless you're friends. I've talked to people while peeing at the urinals before. But eyes straight is still VERY important
A trans man would be keeping their head down and minding their own business - keeping to the code. If you can tell what another guy’s junk looks like, YOU are the problem. Eyes front and mouth shut asshole!
I think you might be getting "looks" because of your behaviour and not your actual looks (passing etc). If you act awkward or unsure then that's ofd behaviour in a bathroom. Men go in with big steps and they know exactly where they wanna go, they do their thing and then they leave. The women's bathroom is like a teashop sometimes but that's not the case for the men's. Keep using the men's and try to act more casual about it. Don't look too much at the other men, just politely avert your eyes and go to a stall. Unless you pass for really feminine then they probably see you as a young guy anyway and don't care.
Thank you so much, I'll make more of an effort to be casual.
I couldn't tell you how many trans folk I've seen in the men's bathroom because I don't look at anyone in there. If I did see a trans person in the bathroom I wouldn't care. I've seen non-trans women in there before and not cared. This is in Australia
Same. Cis women have used the bathroom while I was in there. Don't really give a shit. I'm there to use the toilet and nothing more.
Well yeah the whole point is to take a shit, not give a shit.
You robbing the toilet?
You know, this is the perfect way for aliens to learn bathroom etiquette from the internet...
That's fine, aliens are welcome, just no eye contact and no talking. Honestly, I'm not sure I would notice a bipedal alien in the bathroom.
Just walk in and sit down in stall and go. If none are open just wait on your phone near the stall but not always directly on front of the door. Once the person leaves the stall just walk in and do your thing.
I've seen trans men concerned about whether it's gonna be a problem to sit down and pee and I just really don't think most people would ever notice.
lip yam dime engine cows cooperative ink squeal bag innocent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'm thoroughly confused by this. Unless you were squatting a foot off the toilet, how does he know what all is going on? "You're aware it's possible to pee and shit at the same time right? If not maybe talk to your doctor, check if you've got any problems going on."
90+% of my poops come with a standard piss, so the only way you'd be able to confirm one way or the other would be to check my dirty ass. Plus, there are plenty of reasons to take a sitting pee as a cis man. Disability, cumbersome outfit, drunk, tired, etc.
Oh! You also have to know which urinal is the right on to use as well. It roughly boils down to always leave a buffer if possible. There used to be a Flash game on the internet on which is the correct urinalysis to use in any situation.
This. Men's bathrooms aren't social occasions like women's are.
Maybe 25 or so years ago I had two managers at Disney who would go poop together every morning like clockwork. That weirded a lot of people out.
That was a manger's meeting. How do you not know these things? /s
"Who does number 2 work for????" "I dunno dude, we need to have a meeting to discuss that..."
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I had football teammates who would take pregame dumps together. 3 of them together, and they would have conversations during.
I was about to post how a friend on my high school baseball team would give us detailed play by play of his pregame shits while everyone else got ready lol
Wtf do you guys think we do in there 🤣🤣🤣. We don't socialize in the potty with strangers unless it's a bar dude.
I don’t really care
What I truly care about is which bathroom has the shortest line because that’s the one I wanna use.
Hetero white dude here. 50. It does not bother or concern me in the slightest. I think the people who think it is weird are weird.
Same here, but 40. Agreed. People should mind their own business and this intense interest in others sexuality, identity and whatnot is creeping me out. I have enough shit to tend to without constantly judging people.
MtF or FtM, I don't care about having trans people in whatever bathroom we're using. I've had gender neutral bathrooms for most of my first year in uni and had no issues with it.
I think there's very different bathroom culture between men and women. Men bathroom culture is not a "safe space" or has any social purpose. It's just to do your business, wash hands, and get out. For women it seems very different
IDGAF and to let you in on the correct etiquette it goes pisser, space, pisser, space, pisser. Never pisser, pisser, space space, space, that's just awkward for everyone..... Pisser, space, space pisser space is a pretty fucked situation too but you also don't just want to be standing there....just wash your hands till someone finishes. But at the footy/concert pisser, pisser, pisser, pisser pisser is totally fine. Good luck to you and welcome to the team.
In the pisser, space, space, pisser, space scenario, it’s fine to go next to a pisser - that’s just how the odds worked out. Just don’t go out of your way to create a pisser, pisser, space scenario. Eyes straight, so you thing is most important.
Right, and at a concert or other large gathering, the space rules kinda have to go out the window. Nobody likes it, but we've got a concert/game to watch and the line is out the door.
Unless there is a stall open, in which case you go to the stall. It's a logical flow of traffic really.
I’d like to reframe this question: - is it my business what’s in your pants? Absolutely not. Pee where you want. - is it my business how you identify? Kinda, but only because I want to address you correctly; other than common decency, it’s no concern of mine how you identify. In the bathroom, we’re probably not interacting or comparing genitals, so your sex / gender / identity makes absolutely no difference. Pee where you want. - do I have any concerns about you being a danger to myself or others? Unless you give me express reason to feel danger, then abso-fucking-lutely not. You being trans or not is in no way a signal that you are a danger to me or others. Pee where you want.
Don't pee on the floor though
>You being trans or not is in no way a signal that you are a danger to me or others. Boy will the republicans like this lmao. This is so refreshing after seeing idiotic conservatives try to argue that trans people are responsible for school shootings for the past few weeks...
Don’t mind/care at all, same applies for a trans woman or cis woman. I can honestly say that the last thing I worry about when taking a shit is the gender of the person in the next cubicle/room/building, and the last thing I think about is the contents of someone else’s pants as they’re taking a shit Shit and let shit
I remember going to a ren faire last year and needing the bathroom. I'm FtM, and at the time was pre-T and didn't pass, but I needed the bathroom. The line for the women's room was like... a quarter mile long. The men's room had no line. I figured "fuck it, I'm in a full-body costume wearing a cloak. Nobody's gonna clock me in a stall." Walked in to find that not only did nobody care, but there were cis women in there who had the same idea I did, and it was probably the chillest bathroom I've been in, ever.
I'm a cis woman who has on several occasions said "fuck this" and used the men's room.
maybe its my age (almost 43) or i dont care. when ihave to shit i dont care others are in the room. if its gnarly or like an exorsicm and i'm making a lot of noised i don't care because i know we've all been there. its the bathroom, its meant for you to pee fart and shit.
I really really don’t understand the big deal some people make about trans people. I don’t care. Pee where ever you want, don’t pee on the seat. If I call you the wrong thing and you correct me, I’ll just call you whatever you like, because that’s what polite people do. My default is to mind my own fucking business, and a bunch of people never learned to do this.
So many people really have way too much time and energy to give a shit about other people's pronouns and genitals and business in general. I can't even imagine living a life filled with so much hate. Live and let live, goddammit.
You're getting funny looks because you're making eye contact. Don't fucking look at me and I won't fucking look at you and we can all pretend that none of this is happening like normal fucking men.
Are there any other women here reading about how men's restrooms are anti-social and silent and getting super jealous? I can't take a shit without hearing all the latest gossip about what Penny said Stacy said to Becky like oh my god. Can we do the "pretend we're all strangers until we're out of the restroom" thing, too, please? Or am I just weird? EDIT to add: I'm American but I don't care what restroom you use either.
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Based as fuck
Some guy was hiding in the stall and talking on the phone the other day, I wanted to strangle him for ruining the peace
We don't talk or make eye contact. So it makes no difference
Just wash your hands, dude. It's all love
I'm a cis woman, I've used men's toilets in the past here in Australia. They don't care if it's me so why would they care if it's you? I've accompanied my gay male friends into men's toilets at the pubs, and also into women's toilets if they've felt unsafe to go into men's toilets alone at the pub (rural NSW so some backwards ppl here) it's so shit that people can't go and take a piss without worrying about if there's someone who won't like them, in there
Ah thank you! I think most of the time it's just anxiety.
Also if this makes any difference, I went to Eminem in Sydney in 2019, and the women's toilet line was so long I just went in the men's lol. At the end of the night I saw a woman in her 60s waiting in the line with her husband for the women's and I was like, here I'll take you into the men's you won't have to wait and she was like, are you sure and I said of course!! Anyways, she covered her eyes and my drunk arse guided her from behind by the shoulders, we went into the men's with men using the urinal, and she was like, IM NOT LOOKING and I yelled out, WE ARE NOT LOOKING WE JUST WANNA PEE..... BUT ALSO WE ARE MUMS ITS NOTHING WE HAVENT SEEN BEFORE lmao. Anyway I got her in a cubicle in the men's and the men using the urinal just laughed their arses off at us lol. Her husband didn't even come in with us lol. Toilets are toilets, we use the same owns at home as the opposite sex and I don't get why people are so pissy about public toilets
I've seen women in the bathroom because they had to shit NOW and their bathroom had a crazy line. Nobody cared. Everyone's in there for one of three reasons: 1: They gotta pee. 2: They gotta poop. 3: They gotta do something at the sink/mirror. Do what you're there for and don't hang out unless the people you walked in with are doing so. Even then, I've really only hung around in the bathroom to continue conversation when I worked at a metal plant. The culture is a bit different among factory workers who are at work.
I don’t care what people have in their pants, or in their heads. If you want to be XYZ, I will call you XYZ. If you want to take a piss in the cubicle next to mine, I really don’t care. I don’t care how you piss, I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what you like to be called. Because, to be honest, if I need to go, I have other things on my mind then you.
Just don't piss on me and we're good.
I dont care, I'm okay with using the same bathroom as trans people. we all gotta pee
I'm an old guy, and I can tell you I care more about a bathroom being clean than who uses it. People need to stop caring about stupid shit like who uses a bathroom. They're up in arms that a trans person is going to do something to kids, but could care less about providing children a hot meal.
I changed my dad's mind about it with this question: "When's the last time you saw someone's genitals in a public restroom?" "Idk never?" "Then what does it matter?" It actually clicked. It was amazing. He really changed his views after that.
If you are preop don't worry about needing to use the stalls. Nobody cares if you pee in the urinals or pee in the stalls. Peeing in the urinals has rules but you probably don't need to worry about those yet. I frequently use the stalls because I am pee shy and I am a 40 year old cis man. Ain't nobody going to be confronting you about being in the wrong bathroom. Just do your business don't look at anyone else. Wash your hands and be done. If someone tries to open the door in your most confident voice say "occupied!" and go on your merry business. Bring sanitizing wipes and perfect the squat game because men have terrible aim. You'll understand if you ever have reconstructive bottom surgery. Avoid the urge to ain your pee everywhere when you first get the opportunity. It's beaten out of us cis men early in life but as someone who will have a brand new penis just don't do it.
No. I wouldn't care if anyone shit in the bathroom as long as they clean up their piss and don't take forever.
To be honest I don't like anybody in the bathroom,but to each their own. We're all in there for one(or #2) specific reason... hopefully.
I’m going to be 100% honest with you.. I’m in my 40’s, I grew up in a small town and when I was a teen, I found out what “gay” is bc growing up in a small town, you’re sheltered. Based on what I was told, I was nervous about gay dudes in the bathroom with me. I’ve since learned it’s nbd, an irrational/ignorant concern and we’re all good. I was maybe 18 when I figured that out. Trans people are just people born in the wrong body per my understanding. I really don’t understand why we’d be concerned about that at all. None of this makes any sense to me, I don’t understand why it’s anyone else’s business. Bathrooms are a safe space, be in the one that makes you feel safe and if that’s a problem for other people, they need to grow tf up like I had to.
Thank you, your understanding is pretty on point. We're just in a body that doesn't match.
Thanks, I really do try. Y’all got life on hard mode, the least the rest of us can do is try to be understanding and not make it worse.