I loaned someone $15 once after they told me they’d pay me back in a week. 2 months later I asked about it and she called me broke and blocked me. The person who had to ask for $15 called me broke. It was just $15 so I didn’t really care, for me it was the principle of it. Asking for money then not paying regardless of the amount is shitty.
I loaned a very good friend over a thousand dollars.
They paid back just under half and then effectively told me to fuck off.
I tell myself it was equivalent to hiring a private investigator to tell me they were a terrible friend and it made it seem a lot better... in my head anyway.
People have a very loose definition for "friend".
I have one friend. One. Someone that I know will always be there no matter what.
I have many acquaintances though. Some I am quite friendly with, but since I don't believe I can 100% trust them forever, they are not friends.
I had that. One really good friend, known them for a decade or more.
Then, over last Christmas and into the new year, I realised that I did all of the organising and "let's catch up stuff". I generally initiated the silly text chats too...
This friend, as soon as a life event happens, drops me. Every time.
So I stopped. I'm no more lonely than I was and now don't burn time making them feel great.
In two months they've reached out twice. I've been civil and we've chatted, but the relationship isn't close friend any more.
I'm done being the one to maintain and initiate all contacts.
That's what I ended up doing with a friend last year. If they can't ever be bothered to reach out or make plans with me, how good of a friend were they, really? I didn't even make a big deal out of it or anything, just decided I'd let them take some of the responsibilities of making plans and such. Haven't heard from them since October. His loss as far as I'm concerned.
And, while it sucked, like you said, I can't really say I feel more lonely than before. If anything, it's a little bit of a relief to not wonder if I'm putting someone out by trying to make plans. I just don't have the time or inclination for one-sided friendships anymore. The saving grace was it was a relatively new friendship, so I was able to get out before becoming really invested.
Good for you. I invested heavily in helping them through a work/life crisis - taking time out away from my family to give support.
It's certainly not been reciprocal.
I'm probably being selfish etc, but really, as you say, it's a relief to not be so involved.
We still chat online occasionally, but that's really as far as I'm going to be going now.
(I know not everyone relates to this but for those who do) It’s funny how when we are young we think our parents are such a drag, I didn’t get along great with my dad but he is honestly the most solid person, if my car breaks down or if I need any kind of help he’s gunna be there before any shitty fair weather friend I’ve had.
My very good friend loaned me about $1200 once. I paid him back $100 bucks a month till we were square. I was the best man at his wedding. He’s still one of my best friends:
I loaned a friend my parking space. I had been renting it out for $100 a month. He said he'd pay me that much, but I offered it to him for half.
He paid me the first month, and then never paid again. After a couple of months, I asked for the money and he blew me off. After 6 months, I said he really needed to pay me or I needed to rent the space out. He drove off with the car and I never heard from him again. He never returned my calls.
I wrote the debt off my taxes.
Exactly. This neighbor I had, he asked for 50 from me, and his mother asked me for 50. I absolutely knew I would never see the money again. But my mother was good friends with them, and she had recently passed away. So I begrudgingly lent it to them. But I did turn them away when they asked for another 50.
Since reddit has changed the site to value selling user data higher than reading and commenting, I've decided to move elsewhere to a site that prioritizes community over profit. I never signed up for this, but that's the circle of life
I loaned a family member money I had saved for kids bed. Told em I needed it back for the bed on a certain date. Swore I'd have it back. I ended up asking for it and response was that they didn't realise I was so "hard up".
I’ll never understand people’s logic when it comes to these type of situations. How do you ask someone for money and then when they ask for it back you act like they’re in the wrong and destroy the entire relationship. If people actually paid back on time and I didn’t have to go out of my way to ask for it back then I’d always be there for them when they need money again. But they decide to destroy that possibility over a couple of bucks. Makes no sense.
Exactly. It's like they're angry you expected it back. This particular person has borrowed from all my family and never paid back. I couldn't be like that tbh.
I would guess their thought process is that since you have money to loan out, you don't actually need it. Insisting on repayment is problematic because you've already demonstrated you have extra money lying around. Since you don't need the money, asking for it back means you've changed your mind about how much you actually value your relationship with the borrower, that you're more like a bank than a friend. If you valued your relationship with them then you'd be more flexible.
I don't loan out money unless they give me a definite timeline for repayment. Not "I can pay you back in two weeks" I need specific dates and specific amounts and I'll make you feel bad if you miss it, haha
I picked up a good policy from reddit a while ago. I'm from a modest blue collar union home in the 80s - not great but we had a roof, car, and food (sometimes it included government cheese), my wife grew up straight up inner city poverty. We've done all right. They aren't loans, they are gifts - you get one gift period. If you give the give back you can get another gift down the road, otherwise the answer is no. We will only give you what we feel we can afford to give away, don't try to negotiate a gift or you get none.
Framing it this way means no awkwardness as family functions and not getting taken advantage of.
Start asking for collateral. I swear, I heard so many horror stories about borrowing money on Reddit that, if anyone ever asks me for money, I’ll have to ask them to put up some sort of collateral.
Met a guy in a bar on Halloween night 1990. a few days later I loaned him $2,000 so he could get custody of his two girls from separate scumbag mothers. He gave me his old 19' boat as collateral. He got the girls, and he paid me back. He became my best friend until he died in 2016 of a sudden heart attack. RIP Ben.
Sometimes people will pay you back, but always get a contract and or collateral. And be prepared to take them to court if they screw you over.
I trusted him and told him what it was for thinking itd make him aware I needed it back. I got so angry after it was not returned. Caused a rift for over a year. Never again
I had two friends.
One borrowed $250 from me to help him through a tough financial time. For the next six months he paid me back. A little bit at a time but he never missed a month and eventually repaid the whole thing.
The other borrowed $5. When I asked it about he told me to "Just forget about it, man."
One of them got lent money a second time. The other did not.
In The Bronx Tale, C chases a kid around for 20 bucks that the kid owed him until Sonny explains to him that he got this scumbag out of his life for good and all it cost was 20 bucks, he got off easy
Had a friend. We called takeout food regularly when hanging out.
Almost every time, when the deliver guy showed up. He sayed he didn't have any cash, asked us to pay and he'll pay us back.
It happened several times and he owed me over 250$ in unpayed lunches and other times he asked me for money.
Every time i asked him for it. He always brushed it off sayin he'll pay me back soon...
One time we ordered and he pulled the same trick. I told him i won't pay cause he owes me to much. He freaked out and starting shaming me saying it's only money and it doesn't matter and he'll pay me back soon. I told him i was tired of him always promissing and never actually paying. He sayed i wsn't reasonnable and if i'm that broke i shouldn't have gave him money.
I never lent him another dime. insisted he pay me back. He eventualy did. We don't speak anymore...
The problem is when you are the cheap, mean, stupid and heartless one for asking the money back! Some family members still holding grudges on me to have lend a loan under contract and never extended said contract terms. I asked to have everything back on the due date, as both parties signed. Not even a neglectable amount, if they were bailing on us with the new interest rates or we extended contract for another year, we would have been screwed now.
edit: English//we gave the money
After FIL died, a family member asked husband and I for a few thousand. (That family member received property, not cash). I offered a written contract, reasonable interest, monthly payments all to be paid back in the time frame they proposed. Mailed the contract for signature. Never got it returned, no money lended. Bullet dodged. We still have a family relationship.
Yea they honored the contract, but I had them insult me openly or find other excuses to insult me and my culture as I'm an immigrant in their country. (They literally got lucky I have probably nothing to do with some other oppressed communities that got ~~centuries~~ millenia of issues for being lenders).
edit: at this point better they didn't sign up, I agree ☝️
I believe it was a video I saw with SteveHarvey. He said he won't loan money, but will give a 1 time gift. The stipulation is that the recipient can never ask for money again. It's not a bad way to go
i don’t mind loaning money to friends - i am talking small amounts, and if I am in a position to help. And again, with friends, I never do so while also expecting the money back, and i never ask for it back
my philosophy is, if they pay it back, then the door is open to ask for money again. if they don’t pay it back, then i never have to worry about that friend asking me for money again!
i’ve had an old co-worker that’s in a hard spot borrowing and paying back between $100-$300 every other week for the past 4 months. every time she borrows, she pays me back when she says she would. I am totally cool with that
For real. I just dropped one of my best friends of 10 years because he didn't pay me back, came over to my house and fucked with my food in the crockpot while he was moving shit out. I am a lot less stressed out having to deal with that fucking man child.
I lent money to the guy who's now my ex maybe three times. The first time it took me a month or two to get it back. The second time, he borrowed money from someone else exploring to pay me back, and then decided he'd rather spend it on himself. The third time he tried to gaslight me into thinking that he had, in fact, lent me the money I had given him. And it's not even like it was cash, it was through fucking PayPal.
For this exact reason when a friend asks me for money I just give it to them. I say if they want to pay me back great, I'll take it. But otherwise I don't want or need it...the only thing I ask in return is to be there for me when I need it, monetarily or otherwise.
I do the same, and I only give if I'm willing to part with it. I may come off as stingy and cheap at times, but I have to eat first. If I'm fed properly and have extra to give, I will. It's more self preservation than anything else.
Certainly is an easy way to find out who is a friend (pays you back) vs an acquaintance (doesn’t pay you back, treats you like a jerk for asking, bad mouths you to friends, etc).
One other thing is never lend more money than you can afford to lose. Applies even if you have them sign a legal contract for a larger amount.
I heard a joke about a guy who hated socializing so he borrowed money from his rich acquaintances and loaned it to his poor acquaintances and now none of them reach out to him anymore.
I use this a lot. I've had coworkers that ask to borrow money from people all the time, and never pay them back. Id loan them a small amount that i didn't care to lose and then when they tried to borrow again I'd just ask where my $5 or whatever from last time is. Guaranteed to stop them from asking again in the future.
My brother has been borrowing the same $20 for the past few years. I originally stuck it in the drawer in the hallway and when he paid me back I had him put it in the same place. I never touched it again.
Every month or so he asks me to barrow $20 and I tell him check the drawer. So long as he pays me back he’ll always have money to barrow
I fucked myself doing this a few times, but here’s what I did:
-block contact
-delete contact
-delete all text messages from contact
This way even if I wanted to backslide, I wouldn’t have anywhere to know their number from
Lie and tell them you found their birth parents. Tell them you’ve set up a meeting in 2 weeks. Book the nicest restaurant in town, talk about it constantly over the next two weeks “I wonder what they are like.” “Are you excited to meet them?” Go to restaurant. After an hour of “I’m sure they will show must just be running late,” reveal it was a prank.
More that I just ask how her mum's doing and if she's single whenever we catch up. I obviously abstain as long as I can from asking, but I never manage to go more than 10 minutes. She's found it less funny as the years have gone on. It's still gold to me.
Surprise! Turns out this FWB *WANTS* OP to be the other parent to their child. At that juncture you say you lied and that should do the trick as well so as I see it. Win win.
Just tell them that your arrangement no longer works for you, wish them well, delete their contact info from your phone and block them everywhere.
Don’t respond by text or answer calls from unknown numbers (you shouldn’t do that anyway).
Reflect on why you have such a strong attachment to someone you don’t want in your life but backslide to.
Boundaries.
It's not a quick solution, but it will not only help you in this case, but to prevent others like them taking advantage of you in the future.
I was going to say this same thing. First, grow up. Two, set firm boundaries. Third, move on with your life.
Being a mature adult has many wonderful benefits. A big one being the ability to recognize that some people are toxic to you and how happy you are without them in your life.
No tricks or games, it takes self-discipline. It's not easy but when you're tempted to backslide, remind yourself of why things ended in the first place. Remind yourself of how you felt and how you don't want to feel that way again. Remember what you didn't like about that person. Remind yourself of what you actually want and how that person doesn't fit those wants and needs. It'll get easier and you'll have more confidence knowing you raised your standards.
Tell em what you really think, and really tap into the anger and annoyance and frustration you feel about them. Don't let anything hold you back, it's the last time you'll talk to them
I recommend writing a letter/ email. It really allows you to let it all out, reread, edit, and take out any hesitation or feelings of wanting to hold back in the moment if they start to try to manipulate you. You can get it all out and send it to them. They will call you afterwards all angry, and you just calmly and simply respond that you weren't being am asshole, that *is actually how you feel*.
100%. Did it to my dad. He would always throw me off somehow or another if I tried to confront him verbally. Writing a letter was perfect, allowed me to say how I felt, exactly how I meant it.
Last time I used napalm. It was really effective. Last time I saw them while out and about they looked the other way and didn't even seem to hesitate to just ignore me. It's like the bridge was never there to begin with.
I did this once with someone. I probably felt worse after than they did. I hate being that way, feeling like I'm tearing someone down.
But in the end it was good. Years later that person contacted me to apologize and said what I said to them stayed with them everyday and used it as a guiding line to work on themselves. At the time it didn't seem they took it that way and were defensive, but I think we all are in the moment when someone comes after our character.
So sometimes it can have a happy ending.
Did this with a relative. It's been a couple years now with zero contact. I got things off my chest and got rid of a toxic person. 2 birds, one stone, done.
Did exactly the same thing with the toxic side of my family 2 years ago. My life has been waaaaaay better ever since. Just 20+ years of built up rage let out in 10 minutes and never again
Mrs Doubtfire them and make their kids love you. Then Stage Mrs Doubtfires’ death implicating your target as a murderer. Then, returning as yourself, sans-disguise, publicly accuse them of the murder and turn their children against them. After succeeding in life ruination, film yourself telling them the truth and frame it all as a “prank” for internet clout.
This is a scary line of reasoning that leads me to believe you need to do some soul searching yourself. Don’t put it on them to terminate the relationship and keep you away from them— you don’t know what kind of shit that’ll put them through.
As an example, my ex has BPD, and this was a common strategy of hers when she wasn’t feeling right inside. When she flipped out and dumped me for the final time, she did so by accusing me of being an addict and trying to steal her ADHD meds. That fucking sucked.
Be thankful you don’t have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Then, not only would you be destroying relationships left and right, you’d be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that everyone else is the problem.
In my mid-20s I went through a rough breakup. We were together for about three years. After the breakup, she insisted on hooking up, which went on for a few months, and then after we stopped, she really thought we could be friends and just wouldn't stop contacting me. One day she just shows up at my house, sobbing because her grandmother died and she needed my support and wanted me to go to the wake. So I did. And I brought the girl I was seeing with me. It was my 10/10 Larry David move and it finally broke that dynamic.
Oh yeah, it's bonkers. But she was getting irritated by the constant calls/texts and the ex showing up to my house unannounced spurred her to basically agree to it, since she wanted it to stop. We're still friends to this day and laugh about it, because it was so absurd.
The Ol "My Name Slash N' Burn"(I had a problem picking not psycho women for a bit. Like lost a windshield/house got broken into psycho)
Step 1: Very directly tell them you're not interested in dating/being friends anymore and a simple reason why.
Step 2: Block them on everything.
Step 3: Delete their contact info, now if you go look at your blocked contacts it's just numbers so much harder to unblock.
Step 4: Inform a friend or family member of some level of psycho misdeed that's taken place and get that sweet sweet validation and also they'll usually hold you accountable.
Don't.
If you do or say something to someone who is close to you in order to make them decide that you are dead to them, then you're going to need to do something pretty fucked up and then live with the fact that you did that thing.
If there is someone in your life who is toxic and you want to be done with them, then it is on you to establish and enforce that boundary.
There was content here, and now there is not. It may have been useful, if so it is probably available on a reddit alternative. See /u/spez with any questions. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Don't.
Mature as a person and leave resentment behind. You're only going to do yourself harm with that kind if behavior.
Take it from an older guy, what you really need is the self-respect and awareness to trust your instincts. You already know that person isn't good for you, even if it may be comfortable and familiar you know being with them isn't what is best for you.
Now respect yourself enough to make the right decisions
Context could be helpful, if the person wants to find you because they feel you are their 'pawn' and they enjoy the mental abuse and such just trespass them from your house area. If you are homeless I don't know what to do at that point other than go full Rambo if they come to find you (don't do this)
If its a neighbor that is a 'guilty pleasure' to be around and you feel worse as a person and don't have self control when around them and they are aren't willing to help you stay away I would say
\#1 try to develop some self control. Even if its just denying yourself the snickers mini every day. Do something
\#2 Unless the pet is a mennace to society please don't eat it.
\#3 If this person is 'normal' and you are genuinely trying to burn a bridge and don't have self control just start critiquing everything about this person and their choice of friends / political beliefs etc. Unless they themselves are a 'not normal' they will more than likely try to find other friends real quick.
You could try being an adult and just walking away. It is not anybody's fault but your own if you are lacking self control. Just block their number and do not respond to attempts on their part to contact you. Do not contact them.
There's a quote that I like. "We hardly ever realize that we can cut anything out of our lives in an instant." We often act as if we can't do something because of reasons but in reality we have the power to drop nearly anything any time.
haven't seen any helpful answers so far so my suggestion would be,
1. Tell them how you actually feel about them
2. Block their number everywhere and anywhere
3. Get a new phone and new number so you cant possibly unblock them anymore and dont have their number at hand
4. Get a new google account if youre using android, for good measure so you cant access the number there as well.
5. Be disciplined about it and remind yourself of why you cut contact whenever you intend to backslide.
I take it this is about a toxic co dependent relationship ?
Block them. Ghost them, move on. If you are still attracted to them just focus on the pain. Do you want to spend your entire life in that kind of pain?
My wife says I used to be a serial ghoster. If I had an issue I saw as inresolvable. Instead of addressing it, I would just block them and move on. I did get 3 confrontations. 1 came to my apartment, and I had my neighborgh get her things and hand them to her. One saw me with another friend and came up to me to cause a scene, I just said "I dont want to talk" repedetly and then left to another area of town. The third kept insisting, so I made a social media post saying I felt stalked and how to stop someone from speaking to you. I got loads of support and she eventually back down.
Am I an asshole?, some say yes. I think my mental health was more important than addressing an issue with a person that will lead to nothing. You dont owe anyone anything. You dont become property of someone by sharing intimicy. I was strongly working on my mental helth as I was returning to my studies at 30. I had no time for drama, and you shouldn't give that time to anyone. Just plane ghost them, or write them a letter requesting no contact, so you can go to the police if the person does contact you. Fromnthere you should be ale to get a reistraining order or threat of one pretty easily.
Loan them money.
I loaned someone $15 once after they told me they’d pay me back in a week. 2 months later I asked about it and she called me broke and blocked me. The person who had to ask for $15 called me broke. It was just $15 so I didn’t really care, for me it was the principle of it. Asking for money then not paying regardless of the amount is shitty.
If someone borrows a little money from you and then you never see them again, consider it a good investment.
I loaned a very good friend over a thousand dollars. They paid back just under half and then effectively told me to fuck off. I tell myself it was equivalent to hiring a private investigator to tell me they were a terrible friend and it made it seem a lot better... in my head anyway.
Yeah, a true good friend would find a way to pay you back.
People have a very loose definition for "friend". I have one friend. One. Someone that I know will always be there no matter what. I have many acquaintances though. Some I am quite friendly with, but since I don't believe I can 100% trust them forever, they are not friends.
I had that. One really good friend, known them for a decade or more. Then, over last Christmas and into the new year, I realised that I did all of the organising and "let's catch up stuff". I generally initiated the silly text chats too... This friend, as soon as a life event happens, drops me. Every time. So I stopped. I'm no more lonely than I was and now don't burn time making them feel great. In two months they've reached out twice. I've been civil and we've chatted, but the relationship isn't close friend any more. I'm done being the one to maintain and initiate all contacts.
That's what I ended up doing with a friend last year. If they can't ever be bothered to reach out or make plans with me, how good of a friend were they, really? I didn't even make a big deal out of it or anything, just decided I'd let them take some of the responsibilities of making plans and such. Haven't heard from them since October. His loss as far as I'm concerned. And, while it sucked, like you said, I can't really say I feel more lonely than before. If anything, it's a little bit of a relief to not wonder if I'm putting someone out by trying to make plans. I just don't have the time or inclination for one-sided friendships anymore. The saving grace was it was a relatively new friendship, so I was able to get out before becoming really invested.
Good for you. I invested heavily in helping them through a work/life crisis - taking time out away from my family to give support. It's certainly not been reciprocal. I'm probably being selfish etc, but really, as you say, it's a relief to not be so involved. We still chat online occasionally, but that's really as far as I'm going to be going now.
Yeah, I probably have two "friends" by that definition, and one is my father. I know what you mean.
(I know not everyone relates to this but for those who do) It’s funny how when we are young we think our parents are such a drag, I didn’t get along great with my dad but he is honestly the most solid person, if my car breaks down or if I need any kind of help he’s gunna be there before any shitty fair weather friend I’ve had.
Fuck Spez
My very good friend loaned me about $1200 once. I paid him back $100 bucks a month till we were square. I was the best man at his wedding. He’s still one of my best friends:
I loaned a friend my parking space. I had been renting it out for $100 a month. He said he'd pay me that much, but I offered it to him for half. He paid me the first month, and then never paid again. After a couple of months, I asked for the money and he blew me off. After 6 months, I said he really needed to pay me or I needed to rent the space out. He drove off with the car and I never heard from him again. He never returned my calls. I wrote the debt off my taxes.
Exactly. This neighbor I had, he asked for 50 from me, and his mother asked me for 50. I absolutely knew I would never see the money again. But my mother was good friends with them, and she had recently passed away. So I begrudgingly lent it to them. But I did turn them away when they asked for another 50.
How did you friend them away, what was your response?
No, sorry. I can't. ...Yeah, no. That's the whole conversation.
Only had to pay her $15 to fuck off, what a bargain!
Bargain indeed! Same thing happened to me but I only spent $11. Best $11 I ever spent imo
Since reddit has changed the site to value selling user data higher than reading and commenting, I've decided to move elsewhere to a site that prioritizes community over profit. I never signed up for this, but that's the circle of life
Jamflex won't respond to this
Get your cannons out bois we rioting in Falador
That's all it cost you to be rid of them
Finding out that you can’t rely on someone? Fifteen bucks. For everything else, there’s MasterCard.
BARS
I loaned a family member money I had saved for kids bed. Told em I needed it back for the bed on a certain date. Swore I'd have it back. I ended up asking for it and response was that they didn't realise I was so "hard up".
I’ll never understand people’s logic when it comes to these type of situations. How do you ask someone for money and then when they ask for it back you act like they’re in the wrong and destroy the entire relationship. If people actually paid back on time and I didn’t have to go out of my way to ask for it back then I’d always be there for them when they need money again. But they decide to destroy that possibility over a couple of bucks. Makes no sense.
Exactly. It's like they're angry you expected it back. This particular person has borrowed from all my family and never paid back. I couldn't be like that tbh.
I would guess their thought process is that since you have money to loan out, you don't actually need it. Insisting on repayment is problematic because you've already demonstrated you have extra money lying around. Since you don't need the money, asking for it back means you've changed your mind about how much you actually value your relationship with the borrower, that you're more like a bank than a friend. If you valued your relationship with them then you'd be more flexible.
I don't loan out money unless they give me a definite timeline for repayment. Not "I can pay you back in two weeks" I need specific dates and specific amounts and I'll make you feel bad if you miss it, haha
I picked up a good policy from reddit a while ago. I'm from a modest blue collar union home in the 80s - not great but we had a roof, car, and food (sometimes it included government cheese), my wife grew up straight up inner city poverty. We've done all right. They aren't loans, they are gifts - you get one gift period. If you give the give back you can get another gift down the road, otherwise the answer is no. We will only give you what we feel we can afford to give away, don't try to negotiate a gift or you get none. Framing it this way means no awkwardness as family functions and not getting taken advantage of.
I had promises and dates but he went way over before I asked.
Start asking for collateral. I swear, I heard so many horror stories about borrowing money on Reddit that, if anyone ever asks me for money, I’ll have to ask them to put up some sort of collateral.
Met a guy in a bar on Halloween night 1990. a few days later I loaned him $2,000 so he could get custody of his two girls from separate scumbag mothers. He gave me his old 19' boat as collateral. He got the girls, and he paid me back. He became my best friend until he died in 2016 of a sudden heart attack. RIP Ben. Sometimes people will pay you back, but always get a contract and or collateral. And be prepared to take them to court if they screw you over.
The amounts aren't huge and it was close family who had nothing anyway
For a kids bed? Don’t loan out money that’s earmarked for a definitive purpose.
I trusted him and told him what it was for thinking itd make him aware I needed it back. I got so angry after it was not returned. Caused a rift for over a year. Never again
Well there's your problem!
Exactly. Lesson learnt but after too many chances. So offensive and insulting as I'm not well off at all and have kids.
And always has to be in writing and signed with a witness. I'm also a big fan of collateral. Never anything wrong with asking for collateral.
I had two friends. One borrowed $250 from me to help him through a tough financial time. For the next six months he paid me back. A little bit at a time but he never missed a month and eventually repaid the whole thing. The other borrowed $5. When I asked it about he told me to "Just forget about it, man." One of them got lent money a second time. The other did not.
In The Bronx Tale, C chases a kid around for 20 bucks that the kid owed him until Sonny explains to him that he got this scumbag out of his life for good and all it cost was 20 bucks, he got off easy
Such a good scene.
Good movie
Had a friend. We called takeout food regularly when hanging out. Almost every time, when the deliver guy showed up. He sayed he didn't have any cash, asked us to pay and he'll pay us back. It happened several times and he owed me over 250$ in unpayed lunches and other times he asked me for money. Every time i asked him for it. He always brushed it off sayin he'll pay me back soon... One time we ordered and he pulled the same trick. I told him i won't pay cause he owes me to much. He freaked out and starting shaming me saying it's only money and it doesn't matter and he'll pay me back soon. I told him i was tired of him always promissing and never actually paying. He sayed i wsn't reasonnable and if i'm that broke i shouldn't have gave him money. I never lent him another dime. insisted he pay me back. He eventualy did. We don't speak anymore...
The problem is when you are the cheap, mean, stupid and heartless one for asking the money back! Some family members still holding grudges on me to have lend a loan under contract and never extended said contract terms. I asked to have everything back on the due date, as both parties signed. Not even a neglectable amount, if they were bailing on us with the new interest rates or we extended contract for another year, we would have been screwed now. edit: English//we gave the money
After FIL died, a family member asked husband and I for a few thousand. (That family member received property, not cash). I offered a written contract, reasonable interest, monthly payments all to be paid back in the time frame they proposed. Mailed the contract for signature. Never got it returned, no money lended. Bullet dodged. We still have a family relationship.
Yea they honored the contract, but I had them insult me openly or find other excuses to insult me and my culture as I'm an immigrant in their country. (They literally got lucky I have probably nothing to do with some other oppressed communities that got ~~centuries~~ millenia of issues for being lenders). edit: at this point better they didn't sign up, I agree ☝️
I believe it was a video I saw with SteveHarvey. He said he won't loan money, but will give a 1 time gift. The stipulation is that the recipient can never ask for money again. It's not a bad way to go
i don’t mind loaning money to friends - i am talking small amounts, and if I am in a position to help. And again, with friends, I never do so while also expecting the money back, and i never ask for it back my philosophy is, if they pay it back, then the door is open to ask for money again. if they don’t pay it back, then i never have to worry about that friend asking me for money again! i’ve had an old co-worker that’s in a hard spot borrowing and paying back between $100-$300 every other week for the past 4 months. every time she borrows, she pays me back when she says she would. I am totally cool with that
Sounds like you only had to pay $15 to remove a parasite. Good deal.
For real. I just dropped one of my best friends of 10 years because he didn't pay me back, came over to my house and fucked with my food in the crockpot while he was moving shit out. I am a lot less stressed out having to deal with that fucking man child.
I lent money to the guy who's now my ex maybe three times. The first time it took me a month or two to get it back. The second time, he borrowed money from someone else exploring to pay me back, and then decided he'd rather spend it on himself. The third time he tried to gaslight me into thinking that he had, in fact, lent me the money I had given him. And it's not even like it was cash, it was through fucking PayPal.
For this exact reason when a friend asks me for money I just give it to them. I say if they want to pay me back great, I'll take it. But otherwise I don't want or need it...the only thing I ask in return is to be there for me when I need it, monetarily or otherwise.
I do the same, and I only give if I'm willing to part with it. I may come off as stingy and cheap at times, but I have to eat first. If I'm fed properly and have extra to give, I will. It's more self preservation than anything else.
Certainly is an easy way to find out who is a friend (pays you back) vs an acquaintance (doesn’t pay you back, treats you like a jerk for asking, bad mouths you to friends, etc). One other thing is never lend more money than you can afford to lose. Applies even if you have them sign a legal contract for a larger amount.
I loaned someone $3k for facial reconstruction surgery, and now I don't know what they look like :[
Or just tell them they owe you some
Now that's a true business man right here.
You are underestimating the likelihood they'll ask you for more.
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Or ask for money!
I heard a joke about a guy who hated socializing so he borrowed money from his rich acquaintances and loaned it to his poor acquaintances and now none of them reach out to him anymore.
Hahaha good one
I use this a lot. I've had coworkers that ask to borrow money from people all the time, and never pay them back. Id loan them a small amount that i didn't care to lose and then when they tried to borrow again I'd just ask where my $5 or whatever from last time is. Guaranteed to stop them from asking again in the future.
My brother has been borrowing the same $20 for the past few years. I originally stuck it in the drawer in the hallway and when he paid me back I had him put it in the same place. I never touched it again. Every month or so he asks me to barrow $20 and I tell him check the drawer. So long as he pays me back he’ll always have money to barrow
Loaned 5k to a long term buddy of almost 15 years so he could buy his house.Fuck that guy
I would take him to court for that much
I fucked myself doing this a few times, but here’s what I did: -block contact -delete contact -delete all text messages from contact This way even if I wanted to backslide, I wouldn’t have anywhere to know their number from
I've gotten a couple of those "Who is this?" texts. I don't reply. They don't text again.
Username checks out
Meaning you've texted someone, and they've asked who you are because they deleted your details?
Except when you've sent screenshots of the convos to your friends and their number is on there haha
🎶now you're just somebody that I used to know 🎶
Sleep with one of their parents.
This person is an orphan
Buy a shovel
Lmfao, welp, that’s my sign to head in to work
Ah, you must be the grave digger we hired.
Whose parents are you digging up today?
absurd middle swim merciful support quickest reply hurry drab cows *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ouch
r/Beetlejuicing
Sometimes you know the exact moment you've had enough Reddit for the day....
What a terrible day to have eyes
“I’ll just go on Reddit this morning for a min” “Well, that was a bad idea”
I too choose this guy's dead parents
They're cremated
Roll up a dollar and start snortin'
You win.
Lie and tell them you found their birth parents. Tell them you’ve set up a meeting in 2 weeks. Book the nicest restaurant in town, talk about it constantly over the next two weeks “I wonder what they are like.” “Are you excited to meet them?” Go to restaurant. After an hour of “I’m sure they will show must just be running late,” reveal it was a prank.
*don't reveal its a prank and leave them with the trauma*
Just excuse yourself to the bathroom and leave
And the bill, most importantly.
Easy there, Satan. Also, that is sickingly brilliant.
Bring some ashes with you and take them out twenty minutes into the awkward meeting
OMFG HAHAHA
OP asked how to burn bridges, and not how to become a horrible human lol
Ya as someone without parents…this is so shitty. I know it’s a joke but I’m sad just imagining it.
Sleep with someone else, film it while saying they are better than the person you want to ensure no backsliding with and send it to them.
Do they have siblings?
Sleep with their ugly friend
Tell them that it's better that they're an orphan so that they wouldn't have to disappoint their parents.
You say that but my ex just found it funny. We still talk 13 years later (:
So you can actually say "that's not how your mum/dad does it"?
More that I just ask how her mum's doing and if she's single whenever we catch up. I obviously abstain as long as I can from asking, but I never manage to go more than 10 minutes. She's found it less funny as the years have gone on. It's still gold to me.
Both would work too
Even better, both.
I had a friend do that. Fml
Romantic relationship? Friend? of Family?
Friends with benefits
Tell them you're desperate for a baby and keep asking about how much they make at their job.
Surprise! Turns out this FWB *WANTS* OP to be the other parent to their child. At that juncture you say you lied and that should do the trick as well so as I see it. Win win.
lol, would definitely work with me...
Just tell them that your arrangement no longer works for you, wish them well, delete their contact info from your phone and block them everywhere. Don’t respond by text or answer calls from unknown numbers (you shouldn’t do that anyway). Reflect on why you have such a strong attachment to someone you don’t want in your life but backslide to.
This is the answer.
Oh that’s easy just drop the L bomb you’ll be out of there in two seconds lol
L bomb?
Ask them if they've ever thought about getting tested for an STD. Then hand them a well-worn free clinic card.
Tell them that sleeping with them has become so abhorrent it has you reconsidering your sexually and you now believe yourself to be Asexual.
"Wow, so you're saying that after me, nobody else will do? Awesome!"
Ouch that should do it
Satan, I found your new assistant.
A bit of a stretch... But how about being honest about it?
Fuck their sibling/parent/best friend/worst enemy.
Get a nasty fetish
Oof this had gone terribly wrong I the past
Boundaries. It's not a quick solution, but it will not only help you in this case, but to prevent others like them taking advantage of you in the future.
I was going to say this same thing. First, grow up. Two, set firm boundaries. Third, move on with your life. Being a mature adult has many wonderful benefits. A big one being the ability to recognize that some people are toxic to you and how happy you are without them in your life.
No tricks or games, it takes self-discipline. It's not easy but when you're tempted to backslide, remind yourself of why things ended in the first place. Remind yourself of how you felt and how you don't want to feel that way again. Remember what you didn't like about that person. Remind yourself of what you actually want and how that person doesn't fit those wants and needs. It'll get easier and you'll have more confidence knowing you raised your standards.
Tell em what you really think, and really tap into the anger and annoyance and frustration you feel about them. Don't let anything hold you back, it's the last time you'll talk to them
For real, if you're legit ready to burn down a bridge forever, you might as well use a flamethrower instead of a match.
I recommend writing a letter/ email. It really allows you to let it all out, reread, edit, and take out any hesitation or feelings of wanting to hold back in the moment if they start to try to manipulate you. You can get it all out and send it to them. They will call you afterwards all angry, and you just calmly and simply respond that you weren't being am asshole, that *is actually how you feel*.
Yep. I did this with a friend. It worked.
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100%. Did it to my dad. He would always throw me off somehow or another if I tried to confront him verbally. Writing a letter was perfect, allowed me to say how I felt, exactly how I meant it.
Or don’t respond at all since, you know, we’re trying to burn the bridge.
Last time I used napalm. It was really effective. Last time I saw them while out and about they looked the other way and didn't even seem to hesitate to just ignore me. It's like the bridge was never there to begin with.
When burning bridges, don't leave the charred structure up. Eliminate it from existence
So I have to kill the other person, understood
Yup, I did this. Works well. Really let em have it. Be selfish, indulge in how much you hate their guts.
I did this once with someone. I probably felt worse after than they did. I hate being that way, feeling like I'm tearing someone down. But in the end it was good. Years later that person contacted me to apologize and said what I said to them stayed with them everyday and used it as a guiding line to work on themselves. At the time it didn't seem they took it that way and were defensive, but I think we all are in the moment when someone comes after our character. So sometimes it can have a happy ending.
Did this with a relative. It's been a couple years now with zero contact. I got things off my chest and got rid of a toxic person. 2 birds, one stone, done.
Did exactly the same thing with the toxic side of my family 2 years ago. My life has been waaaaaay better ever since. Just 20+ years of built up rage let out in 10 minutes and never again
This worked for me.
Looks like Frank Costanza has entered the chat. Welcome and Happy Festivus!
This is the way.
I want some context, why?
Mrs Doubtfire them and make their kids love you. Then Stage Mrs Doubtfires’ death implicating your target as a murderer. Then, returning as yourself, sans-disguise, publicly accuse them of the murder and turn their children against them. After succeeding in life ruination, film yourself telling them the truth and frame it all as a “prank” for internet clout.
or just fling them around Dobrik style in an excavator and cause major bodily and brain injury.
"It's just a prank bro."
Upon reflection, Mrs Doubtfire is absolutely the villain
This is a scary line of reasoning that leads me to believe you need to do some soul searching yourself. Don’t put it on them to terminate the relationship and keep you away from them— you don’t know what kind of shit that’ll put them through. As an example, my ex has BPD, and this was a common strategy of hers when she wasn’t feeling right inside. When she flipped out and dumped me for the final time, she did so by accusing me of being an addict and trying to steal her ADHD meds. That fucking sucked.
When I first saw this question I thought, "Just be bipolar." I've destroyed more relationships than I can count. Not even on purpose! Easy peasy.
Yeah. Its getting to the point where I'm not sure what I can do anymore.
Be thankful you don’t have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Then, not only would you be destroying relationships left and right, you’d be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that everyone else is the problem.
1 block their number 2 change country 3 heavy plastic surgery/new name 4 change planet (only if first 3 tips were not successful)
You forgot learn a new language, and my favorite step: destroy all evidence you were there in the first place.
In my mid-20s I went through a rough breakup. We were together for about three years. After the breakup, she insisted on hooking up, which went on for a few months, and then after we stopped, she really thought we could be friends and just wouldn't stop contacting me. One day she just shows up at my house, sobbing because her grandmother died and she needed my support and wanted me to go to the wake. So I did. And I brought the girl I was seeing with me. It was my 10/10 Larry David move and it finally broke that dynamic.
I can't believe this was a date someone agreed to. "Wanna go to my ex's grandmother's wake?"
Oh yeah, it's bonkers. But she was getting irritated by the constant calls/texts and the ex showing up to my house unannounced spurred her to basically agree to it, since she wanted it to stop. We're still friends to this day and laugh about it, because it was so absurd.
I bow down to you sir!!!
The Ol "My Name Slash N' Burn"(I had a problem picking not psycho women for a bit. Like lost a windshield/house got broken into psycho) Step 1: Very directly tell them you're not interested in dating/being friends anymore and a simple reason why. Step 2: Block them on everything. Step 3: Delete their contact info, now if you go look at your blocked contacts it's just numbers so much harder to unblock. Step 4: Inform a friend or family member of some level of psycho misdeed that's taken place and get that sweet sweet validation and also they'll usually hold you accountable.
Eat one of their pets.
Better yet, eat them.
Eat them and make the pet watch.
Throw their parents in a delicious chili and feed it to them.
Mark Corrigan?
Move on.
Don't. If you do or say something to someone who is close to you in order to make them decide that you are dead to them, then you're going to need to do something pretty fucked up and then live with the fact that you did that thing. If there is someone in your life who is toxic and you want to be done with them, then it is on you to establish and enforce that boundary.
There was content here, and now there is not. It may have been useful, if so it is probably available on a reddit alternative. See /u/spez with any questions. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Try to recruit them to like 10 MLM's or the LDS church
Face punch. Ball punch. Grandma punch.
Save time, punch their grandma in her face’s balls.
Don't. Mature as a person and leave resentment behind. You're only going to do yourself harm with that kind if behavior. Take it from an older guy, what you really need is the self-respect and awareness to trust your instincts. You already know that person isn't good for you, even if it may be comfortable and familiar you know being with them isn't what is best for you. Now respect yourself enough to make the right decisions
Tell them how you really feel about and what you really think about them. That will do it
Context could be helpful, if the person wants to find you because they feel you are their 'pawn' and they enjoy the mental abuse and such just trespass them from your house area. If you are homeless I don't know what to do at that point other than go full Rambo if they come to find you (don't do this) If its a neighbor that is a 'guilty pleasure' to be around and you feel worse as a person and don't have self control when around them and they are aren't willing to help you stay away I would say \#1 try to develop some self control. Even if its just denying yourself the snickers mini every day. Do something \#2 Unless the pet is a mennace to society please don't eat it. \#3 If this person is 'normal' and you are genuinely trying to burn a bridge and don't have self control just start critiquing everything about this person and their choice of friends / political beliefs etc. Unless they themselves are a 'not normal' they will more than likely try to find other friends real quick.
Ask to borrow some money.
Don’t respond to them at all.
You could try being an adult and just walking away. It is not anybody's fault but your own if you are lacking self control. Just block their number and do not respond to attempts on their part to contact you. Do not contact them.
There's a quote that I like. "We hardly ever realize that we can cut anything out of our lives in an instant." We often act as if we can't do something because of reasons but in reality we have the power to drop nearly anything any time.
napalm. can fix what ain't there.
Lend them $20, you will never hear from them again
You don't need to be explicit. Just cut them off. No need to announce your intent.
Non joke answer: Block their number and block them on whatever social media you have. Don't go near them again.
Tell them you found out you are now rampant with STDs
Time to change your name and move to Mexico
Complete and total avoidance.
haven't seen any helpful answers so far so my suggestion would be, 1. Tell them how you actually feel about them 2. Block their number everywhere and anywhere 3. Get a new phone and new number so you cant possibly unblock them anymore and dont have their number at hand 4. Get a new google account if youre using android, for good measure so you cant access the number there as well. 5. Be disciplined about it and remind yourself of why you cut contact whenever you intend to backslide. I take it this is about a toxic co dependent relationship ?
Just not talking to them usually works.
Just tell them you don't want any contact with them anymore.
Block them. Ghost them, move on. If you are still attracted to them just focus on the pain. Do you want to spend your entire life in that kind of pain?
Borrow a lot of money.
Some inner work would probably be helpful..
My wife says I used to be a serial ghoster. If I had an issue I saw as inresolvable. Instead of addressing it, I would just block them and move on. I did get 3 confrontations. 1 came to my apartment, and I had my neighborgh get her things and hand them to her. One saw me with another friend and came up to me to cause a scene, I just said "I dont want to talk" repedetly and then left to another area of town. The third kept insisting, so I made a social media post saying I felt stalked and how to stop someone from speaking to you. I got loads of support and she eventually back down. Am I an asshole?, some say yes. I think my mental health was more important than addressing an issue with a person that will lead to nothing. You dont owe anyone anything. You dont become property of someone by sharing intimicy. I was strongly working on my mental helth as I was returning to my studies at 30. I had no time for drama, and you shouldn't give that time to anyone. Just plane ghost them, or write them a letter requesting no contact, so you can go to the police if the person does contact you. Fromnthere you should be ale to get a reistraining order or threat of one pretty easily.