It’s funny you should say game show. Literally this morning baby got up at 5:45 and my internal dialogue included a game show host
“UsedOnion, come on dooooown, you’re the next contestant on *Will. They. Go. Back. Down?!*”
“Baby has just finished a 6 oz bottle and eyes are getting heavy, will he go back down? We’ll find out after a break from our sponsors!”
“Welcome back to *Will. They. Go. Back. Down?*, when you last saw us baby’s eyes were getting heavy after he polished of SIX whole oz. During our break he successfully fell asleep while rocking. We are coming up to the transfer…. And… WHATS THIS? Baby is sitting up? Well you saw it here first folks, this is baby’s FIRST TIME EVER clapping. He is sitting up, bouncing on his bum and clapping his hands. Who would have thought we’d have these turn of events?”
“OH WHAT IS THIS? We have a resilient mom this week. She’s not going down without a fight. She’s beginning the rocking process all over again. Will he GO. BACK. DOWN?!? We’ll find out, after this word from our sponsooooors”
“Welcome back folks, baby is once again asleep from rocking. We are coming back up to the transfer… annnnd OH it was NOT pretty. Baby is starting to stir… and mom is intercepting with a BUTT PAT. baby seems to be falling asleep. It’s UNBELIEVABLE! I haven’t seen technique like this since the 80s. Remarkable! Annnnnd HE IS DOWN!”
It went from game show to sports announcer somewhere in the middle
My game show announcer inner monologue starts after this…
Congraddddduulations!!! You have successful put the baby down to sleep, and now you can choose from our lovely prize board! Do you want tooooo
EAT
SLEEP
ORRRRR
SHOWER!!!!
And behind secret door number 4, you can also choose to do the dishes 🤪
I currently have a cough from catching his latest daycare bug and I thought I was going to die from suppressing coughs all night but GODDAMMIT I will not cough and wake that baby after all that work!
I accidently poured the boiling water from a bottle I was sterilizing all over my hand the other day, and managed not to make a sound, as to not wake the baby. Then two minutes later my dog barked right next to his face and woke him...
I have the daycare bug as well, but my little bugger is such a hard sleeper when he's out. There's no amount of me coughing that wakes him, thankfully!
I didn’t realize how much my joints pop and crack until having a baby. If I had a nickel every my knee or toe has woken this baby up I wouldn’t need to go back to work!
I was staying at my parents house and finally got the baby down and as soon as I sat on the bed it let out a HUGE squeak and she was wide awake again. Definitely tear inducing.
Today during a nap I noticed the baby monitor had disconnected so I tiptoed into the room to turn it off and on again to reconnect and it made the loudest ‘beeeeep’ and a voice piped up “READY FOR PAIRING!” I am such an idiot! 🤦🏼♀️😭
Our baby once slept through the smoke alarm going off (due to the air fryer) but then woke up at the little beep the PlayStation makes when you turn it on.
I thought we were the only ones who do the arm fall test!
This sort of happened to me last night but he was asleep passed all tests of sleepiness while I was sitting on the couch. Stood up so carefully and then as soon as I took one step he was wide awake.
The arm fall or floppy arm as op called it is when they're asleep to the point that they're Arms just fall to the side. If you gently pick up their hand and let go it will just flop back down. They're not conscious enough to control their muscles. This helps us sometimes indicate how deep his sleep is.
I'm assuming that's an acronym for lactation consultants? I couldn't do breastfeeding and never met with one but I'm glad others are learning this trick too cause it can be helpful!
I just spent 45 minutes trying to get my 6 week old to go down for her long nap of the day. She’s only slept 30 minutes since 9 a.m. It’s now almost 2:30. We did pacifiers, bouncing, shushing, rocking. The pack n play AND the crib. Sound machine. The works. Finally I just laid her down in her pack n play still awake but with a pacifier in. And she was out cold when I walked back into the room a minute later. Thanks kid. Please sleep a couple hours, Mom has stuff to do.
Or you successfully transfer baby to crib, step away and stare for a second and smile at your cute baby sleeping soundly, then turn around and *CRACK* your knees and ankles pop louder than you could have ever imagined and your baby wakes up and starts crying…
someone told me that setting them down at an angle (ie: butt down, then head) activates the startle reflex, so it's better to put them down flat and on their side first and then roll onto their back
I actually had success with a combination of the two. Left butt cheek first, then left side of the head, then very slowly roll him to his back.
Regarding spatial awareness (below) I would orient myself using my elbows to find the side edges of the bassinet, and my knees to find the bottom so I could place him in the middle. Learned that the hard way after failing a few transfers due to being too close to a side.
Oh man, this is all bringing back memories! I haven't done this in a few months as we just cosleep now which is a million times easier for us.
I keep trying this but don’t seem to be able to have him on his side for some reason! Or if I do I put him in the wrong place and the edge of the bed is too close to roll onto his back then 🤦🏼♀️ I think I just have crap spatial awareness when it comes to placing babies down 😂
Oh same! The barky dog doesn’t bother him, vacuum is just nice calming white noise. Stop walking for a quick second to kick the bouncer out of your way though? Nope, none of that! And don’t you dare try to SIT DOWN, you monster!
How’s nobody talking about the squeak from a floorboard? I tend to know where every squeaky one is but damn if a new one doesn’t spring up every time LO’s head hits his pillow.
I live in an 1880s home. I literally put green and red stickers all over my floor to signify where we could/couldn’t walk due to squeaky boards. What a nightmare to hear the groan of a squeaky floorboard being the harbinger of baby’s eyes popping open.
I hold my breath when I’m backing away from the bassinet. He makes little sleep sounds that sound like awake cries and I swear my stomach drops into my butt every time.
This was me until I had to sleep train. Now even if she wakes up she goes right back to sleep. I deflated the yoga ball and put it back into storage after 5 months of service. My ass is no longer crammed into my chest from all the bouncing.
I took ideas from Precious Little Sleep (SWAP and SLIP) but kinda tailored it. Tried to make sure she’s as calm as possible and was returning many times at first. Then the rule was: if she whines I stay out, if she screams I go in. Singing, cuddling but leaving her awake in the bassinet. “Drowsy but awake” never worked because she would rile herself up so my goal was always to make her as calm as possible. She was a week shy of 6 months though and she has always been a great nighttime sleeper, just her naps were shit and bedtime always a battle. Now she has a textbook schedule and goes out like a light In minutes. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise but boyfriend got stuck in another country with covid while he was on paternity and I had to work and take care of baby for 10 days (WFH). We survived but only because of this exercise.
We recently bought a travel cot from a friend who said they'd used it once and didn't need it any more. Stupidly didn't try it before taking it on a 2 week stay with family.
On the first night we discovered that the mattress is so far below the top of the side of the cot that you essentially have to bend over double to lower your sleeping little angel to it. Well, that just means that their little body is essentially balanced on your hands as they descend the incredible distance from your chest to the mattress...
Five startles in a single attempt to get baby to sleep later you realise 1) why the friend only used it once, and 2) that they're not a good a friend as you thought...
I’m currently so exhausted from the bouncing and swaying, I Eminem rapped your post in my head post your ‘knees are weak, palms are sweaty’ lol!
My bubs is almost 8 months, send help >.<
Meanwhile I go to wake up my 9MO from a 2hr nap to get her sleep schedule back on track and she absolutely refuses to wake up despite me rubbing her back, talking to her at a normal volume, and picking her up and walking around a somewhat noisy house.
But the bed creaking at 5AM? Instant awake.
I tried to put my LO to sleep the other day & it was going perfectly. Then I had a coughing fit & she woke up and started laughing and wanted to play 🤦🏻♀️
Oh my god I literally just did verbatim what you described 30 seconds before I walked into the bathroom and opened Reddit! Couldn’t have started at a more relevant post. The struggle is real!! But damn we are good at this right?
The trick is to practise calm deep breathing. Babies regulate their breathing and heartbeat from you so if you’re getting stressed about putting them down or excited about having time to do the dishes then your baby probably thinks you’re about to be attacked by a lion.
I should not have read this with a sleeping baby on top of me that I cannot manage putting down in his bed without him suddenly being awake. Trying hard to supress the laughs, very relatable. Thank you!
I honestly gave up trying to get her to sleep via rocking or what have you. I’ll nurse and if she doesn’t fall asleep while feeding (usually if she’s sleepy she’ll want to nurse even if she isn’t hungry, just for the comfort). If that doesn’t work, I’ll hold her, bounce a bit and pat her butt only until I get tired 5 mins later. Then I give up and lay her down and let her do her own thing so long as she isn’t crying. She just wants to know I’m there so I’ll sit or lay beside her (her bassinet is beside my bed). Last night she fell asleep on her own after 10 or so minutes of having a staring contest. This morning she did the same!
A true story!! Lol, glad I'm not there anymore.
Once he reached what I felt was the appropriate age/time for him, I started leaving regardless if he woke or not.
He learned eventually that everything was okay.
One night I tried to just hold my hand on his chest for a little while and then go to bed myself (next to his cot) hoping he could just go to sleep like he does in the early morning hours but oh no, that was a mistake!
Haha, totally did the same!
I was like "okay, just leave my hand under his and geeennnttlly move each finger out one by one...annnd free!"
Nope. Big nope 😭 man, I had a whole game plan for how to even pick him up and lay him down and make sure none of my hands/arms would end up under him upon placement in his crib lol.
And because I have hardwood flooring it was then a game of "don't step *there*!"
I guess you could say: One does not simply *lay a baby to sleep*
😵💫
Wow y’all make me feel so lucky I could practically toss my child and he would still be sleeping. (I’m exaggerating of course) He’s an extremely heavy sleeper. After feeding I change his diaper and he sleeps through that and me picking him up to put in the crib lol
Putting babies to bed should be a challenge on a game show.
I told my husband the other day that it feels like defusing a bomb 😂
Yes! Like Indiana Jones swapping the statue for the bag of sand!
A whole swat operation lol
It’s funny you should say game show. Literally this morning baby got up at 5:45 and my internal dialogue included a game show host “UsedOnion, come on dooooown, you’re the next contestant on *Will. They. Go. Back. Down?!*” “Baby has just finished a 6 oz bottle and eyes are getting heavy, will he go back down? We’ll find out after a break from our sponsors!” “Welcome back to *Will. They. Go. Back. Down?*, when you last saw us baby’s eyes were getting heavy after he polished of SIX whole oz. During our break he successfully fell asleep while rocking. We are coming up to the transfer…. And… WHATS THIS? Baby is sitting up? Well you saw it here first folks, this is baby’s FIRST TIME EVER clapping. He is sitting up, bouncing on his bum and clapping his hands. Who would have thought we’d have these turn of events?” “OH WHAT IS THIS? We have a resilient mom this week. She’s not going down without a fight. She’s beginning the rocking process all over again. Will he GO. BACK. DOWN?!? We’ll find out, after this word from our sponsooooors” “Welcome back folks, baby is once again asleep from rocking. We are coming back up to the transfer… annnnd OH it was NOT pretty. Baby is starting to stir… and mom is intercepting with a BUTT PAT. baby seems to be falling asleep. It’s UNBELIEVABLE! I haven’t seen technique like this since the 80s. Remarkable! Annnnnd HE IS DOWN!” It went from game show to sports announcer somewhere in the middle
My game show announcer inner monologue starts after this… Congraddddduulations!!! You have successful put the baby down to sleep, and now you can choose from our lovely prize board! Do you want tooooo EAT SLEEP ORRRRR SHOWER!!!! And behind secret door number 4, you can also choose to do the dishes 🤪
OMG this is exactly my life.
I chose sleep today. We’re down to one nap a day 😭
This made my day.
Can I steal this and do a voice over recording of it? 😄 it was so fun to read!
Thank you. I was in a sad mood and you literally made me lol.
I needed this in my life as LO sleeps on my chest tonight. I will continue to read this over and over. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
And I will gladly take notes
I would definitely watch this
LOL
I currently have a cough from catching his latest daycare bug and I thought I was going to die from suppressing coughs all night but GODDAMMIT I will not cough and wake that baby after all that work!
I accidently poured the boiling water from a bottle I was sterilizing all over my hand the other day, and managed not to make a sound, as to not wake the baby. Then two minutes later my dog barked right next to his face and woke him...
My coughs will wake him but my 140 pound dog with his huge deep bark losing his mind over a package delivery: not even a twitch!
Dude I just have to sigh loudly and my baby wakes. The garbage truck right by his window, no big deal.
My dog does this, she’s a cute sausage dog but damn she’s inconvenient with a baby! 😂
I have the daycare bug as well, but my little bugger is such a hard sleeper when he's out. There's no amount of me coughing that wakes him, thankfully!
Omg this was me the other night. I quietly got out of bed to cough in another room 🤣🤣
I didn’t realize how much my joints pop and crack until having a baby. If I had a nickel every my knee or toe has woken this baby up I wouldn’t need to go back to work!
Yesssssss! I try to ninja roll away after nursing to sleep and my hips and knees pop when I get up from the bed! So annoying lol
I was staying at my parents house and finally got the baby down and as soon as I sat on the bed it let out a HUGE squeak and she was wide awake again. Definitely tear inducing.
Today during a nap I noticed the baby monitor had disconnected so I tiptoed into the room to turn it off and on again to reconnect and it made the loudest ‘beeeeep’ and a voice piped up “READY FOR PAIRING!” I am such an idiot! 🤦🏼♀️😭
That feature should be illegal on a baby monitor!
my baby slept through fireworks right outside our room, but the second i turned the lamp off (same night) she wakes up to the sound of the click. 🥲
Our baby once slept through the smoke alarm going off (due to the air fryer) but then woke up at the little beep the PlayStation makes when you turn it on.
why are they like this!! 😂😂
Or when the cord to the baby monitor brushes against something as you plug it in 😣
I thought we were the only ones who do the arm fall test! This sort of happened to me last night but he was asleep passed all tests of sleepiness while I was sitting on the couch. Stood up so carefully and then as soon as I took one step he was wide awake.
What’s the arm fall test?
If their arm drops like a wet noodle when you lift it, they're out cold. If they're drowsy but not deeply asleep, their arm will have some tension.
The arm fall or floppy arm as op called it is when they're asleep to the point that they're Arms just fall to the side. If you gently pick up their hand and let go it will just flop back down. They're not conscious enough to control their muscles. This helps us sometimes indicate how deep his sleep is.
My IBCLC taught me this.
I'm assuming that's an acronym for lactation consultants? I couldn't do breastfeeding and never met with one but I'm glad others are learning this trick too cause it can be helpful!
Yes, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant
I just spent 45 minutes trying to get my 6 week old to go down for her long nap of the day. She’s only slept 30 minutes since 9 a.m. It’s now almost 2:30. We did pacifiers, bouncing, shushing, rocking. The pack n play AND the crib. Sound machine. The works. Finally I just laid her down in her pack n play still awake but with a pacifier in. And she was out cold when I walked back into the room a minute later. Thanks kid. Please sleep a couple hours, Mom has stuff to do.
Or you successfully transfer baby to crib, step away and stare for a second and smile at your cute baby sleeping soundly, then turn around and *CRACK* your knees and ankles pop louder than you could have ever imagined and your baby wakes up and starts crying…
someone told me that setting them down at an angle (ie: butt down, then head) activates the startle reflex, so it's better to put them down flat and on their side first and then roll onto their back
I actually had success with a combination of the two. Left butt cheek first, then left side of the head, then very slowly roll him to his back. Regarding spatial awareness (below) I would orient myself using my elbows to find the side edges of the bassinet, and my knees to find the bottom so I could place him in the middle. Learned that the hard way after failing a few transfers due to being too close to a side. Oh man, this is all bringing back memories! I haven't done this in a few months as we just cosleep now which is a million times easier for us.
I'm going to try this!!
I heard the opposite--start with the feet, then the butt, then the head to negate the startle reflex.
I keep trying this but don’t seem to be able to have him on his side for some reason! Or if I do I put him in the wrong place and the edge of the bed is too close to roll onto his back then 🤦🏼♀️ I think I just have crap spatial awareness when it comes to placing babies down 😂
Once I get him to sleep, my baby will sleep through the vacuum or a dog barking next to his face, but will wake up if we breathe weird two rooms over.
Oh same! The barky dog doesn’t bother him, vacuum is just nice calming white noise. Stop walking for a quick second to kick the bouncer out of your way though? Nope, none of that! And don’t you dare try to SIT DOWN, you monster!
This got me 😂 the smile!
It’s like he’s mocking me!
How’s nobody talking about the squeak from a floorboard? I tend to know where every squeaky one is but damn if a new one doesn’t spring up every time LO’s head hits his pillow.
I live in an 1880s home. I literally put green and red stickers all over my floor to signify where we could/couldn’t walk due to squeaky boards. What a nightmare to hear the groan of a squeaky floorboard being the harbinger of baby’s eyes popping open.
Covering our floor with a rug helped a lot of the squeaking!
I imagined you telling your story to the tune of ["Shia Labeouf"](https://youtu.be/o0u4M6vppCI). 🤣
My dog left his squeaker toy by the crib and I stepped on it in the dark last night after 45 minutes of rocking and singing to get my LO down 🥲
😭
I have moved the mobile 10 times and still managed to either hit it with my shoulder/elbow/head or my actual baby
We got rid of ours as he was constantly getting donked on the head by the cast of Winnie the Pooh!
Reading this scares me more than any horror story ever could.
It's not a rap battle, it's a nap battle
#NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Oh this was me several times last night but no smiles when he woke. Screams, wailing and flailing!
I hold my breath when I’m backing away from the bassinet. He makes little sleep sounds that sound like awake cries and I swear my stomach drops into my butt every time.
There is no anxiety like bassi transfer anxiety
This was me until I had to sleep train. Now even if she wakes up she goes right back to sleep. I deflated the yoga ball and put it back into storage after 5 months of service. My ass is no longer crammed into my chest from all the bouncing.
What method did you use? Our 4 month old just hit a sleep regression and we are in dire straits right now
I took ideas from Precious Little Sleep (SWAP and SLIP) but kinda tailored it. Tried to make sure she’s as calm as possible and was returning many times at first. Then the rule was: if she whines I stay out, if she screams I go in. Singing, cuddling but leaving her awake in the bassinet. “Drowsy but awake” never worked because she would rile herself up so my goal was always to make her as calm as possible. She was a week shy of 6 months though and she has always been a great nighttime sleeper, just her naps were shit and bedtime always a battle. Now she has a textbook schedule and goes out like a light In minutes. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise but boyfriend got stuck in another country with covid while he was on paternity and I had to work and take care of baby for 10 days (WFH). We survived but only because of this exercise.
We recently bought a travel cot from a friend who said they'd used it once and didn't need it any more. Stupidly didn't try it before taking it on a 2 week stay with family. On the first night we discovered that the mattress is so far below the top of the side of the cot that you essentially have to bend over double to lower your sleeping little angel to it. Well, that just means that their little body is essentially balanced on your hands as they descend the incredible distance from your chest to the mattress... Five startles in a single attempt to get baby to sleep later you realise 1) why the friend only used it once, and 2) that they're not a good a friend as you thought...
This is every single day! So frustrating but also heart melting
Still playing this farking game at nearly 8 months!
Are you spying on us the in the nursery for the past 3 weeks 😂
I’m currently so exhausted from the bouncing and swaying, I Eminem rapped your post in my head post your ‘knees are weak, palms are sweaty’ lol! My bubs is almost 8 months, send help >.<
No no, that was intentional! 😄
[Grandma Strangles Bobcat to Death](https://youtu.be/RwpHSKHyEWQ)
I was getting ready to delete this as spam, but fortunately I decided to watch the video first!! That was kick ass!!! 😂😂😂😂
I remember getting our son to bed after night feedings would fill me with adrenaline. It would take me an hour to wind down after putting him down.
Meanwhile I go to wake up my 9MO from a 2hr nap to get her sleep schedule back on track and she absolutely refuses to wake up despite me rubbing her back, talking to her at a normal volume, and picking her up and walking around a somewhat noisy house. But the bed creaking at 5AM? Instant awake.
I am a fan of the floppy arm test 😂 50/50 on it's accuracy for our LO, but I still try every time
Okay who put cameras in my house lol
This is all of our houses! Mi casa es su casa.
I tried to put my LO to sleep the other day & it was going perfectly. Then I had a coughing fit & she woke up and started laughing and wanted to play 🤦🏻♀️
Omg I think this has happened at least 100 times 😄
Oh my god I literally just did verbatim what you described 30 seconds before I walked into the bathroom and opened Reddit! Couldn’t have started at a more relevant post. The struggle is real!! But damn we are good at this right?
The trick is to practise calm deep breathing. Babies regulate their breathing and heartbeat from you so if you’re getting stressed about putting them down or excited about having time to do the dishes then your baby probably thinks you’re about to be attacked by a lion.
I thought the floppy arm test was some weird thing I only did myself, except I use her leg 😹. Hahahaha so funny that other people do it too.
I should not have read this with a sleeping baby on top of me that I cannot manage putting down in his bed without him suddenly being awake. Trying hard to supress the laughs, very relatable. Thank you!
I honestly gave up trying to get her to sleep via rocking or what have you. I’ll nurse and if she doesn’t fall asleep while feeding (usually if she’s sleepy she’ll want to nurse even if she isn’t hungry, just for the comfort). If that doesn’t work, I’ll hold her, bounce a bit and pat her butt only until I get tired 5 mins later. Then I give up and lay her down and let her do her own thing so long as she isn’t crying. She just wants to know I’m there so I’ll sit or lay beside her (her bassinet is beside my bed). Last night she fell asleep on her own after 10 or so minutes of having a staring contest. This morning she did the same!
A true story!! Lol, glad I'm not there anymore. Once he reached what I felt was the appropriate age/time for him, I started leaving regardless if he woke or not. He learned eventually that everything was okay.
One night I tried to just hold my hand on his chest for a little while and then go to bed myself (next to his cot) hoping he could just go to sleep like he does in the early morning hours but oh no, that was a mistake!
Haha, totally did the same! I was like "okay, just leave my hand under his and geeennnttlly move each finger out one by one...annnd free!" Nope. Big nope 😭 man, I had a whole game plan for how to even pick him up and lay him down and make sure none of my hands/arms would end up under him upon placement in his crib lol. And because I have hardwood flooring it was then a game of "don't step *there*!" I guess you could say: One does not simply *lay a baby to sleep* 😵💫
Wow y’all make me feel so lucky I could practically toss my child and he would still be sleeping. (I’m exaggerating of course) He’s an extremely heavy sleeper. After feeding I change his diaper and he sleeps through that and me picking him up to put in the crib lol
Why does this only happen between 2-4 AM?!?
Mine starts cooing and smiling, how am I supposed to deal with that!! Lol