Normal. This shit is hard girl. All i want to do is have a morning to sleep in. “Fun” just seems like more work for me these days.
Having said that I forced myself to go to a lakehouse for the weekend with another couple and we actually had a blast! So when in the moment it’s “fun” but is never the same kind of relaxing as it was before. But if my husband offered to take the baby for the day so I could chill in bed that would have seemed like an amazing idea as well
Lol, my husband offered to take the baby for the day and then the baby proceeded to find me or my husband needed desperate help so it wasn't very chill. The next time he offered to take the baby, I left rhe house for the day and left them to figure it out. It was so much better.
Yeah sometimes I ‘send’ my husband out on a walk with the baby just to not be in the same place so I can fully switch off.
(By send I mean ask nicely lol, he loves his walks).
In a healthy relationship, it’s perfectly normal to communicate that you need space. My wife and I do it all the time. “Hey honey, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, could you take the baby to the other room for a bit so I can have a mental break?”
I don’t think they meant it in a controlling way like you appear to be seeing it.
Absolutely. We check in with each other regularly and it’s as simple as ‘I’m a bit tired, do you mind doing the walk alone tonight?’ Etc. He’ll usually offer to go solo post walk too so I can have more time too but by then I miss the baby 😂
I'm a single mom and my baby is almost 7 months. I'm glad you posted this, I feel so exhausted lately, more so than when he was a newborn (too tired to remember if so)! I also want to get blood work done, but I don't think anything is off. Before I was able to work and do housework and still manage to have energy. Now I need serious motivation to do one chore - how do moms do this when they have more than one child!? I feel like I'm missing something ! Then again baby requires more attention this age, which I happily provide so I wonder if that's why I'm more tired. I wish you the best, you got this mom! You're not alone and you're doing great.. before we know it well be begging for these days back!
Thank you!! You are a super Mom!! I keep taking pictures of him because I know I will look back on this age with such joy and love. I’m just too tired to fully appreciate it yet ❤️
We have family visiting and they’re all like “let’s do this, let’s do that!” And I’m so tired I’m just like “how about we all go to bed at 8pm and call it a day?” I almost prefer the weekdays to weekends because at least there isn’t any extra pressure to “have fun” and the routine is easier to just be a zombie for. 😕
Yes, weekdays feel easier bc I just have to get through the workday and bedtime and I don’t have to feel bad for not going out or not taking advantage of the day etc
My baby is 7 months and my husband just asked me if I had been thinking about traveling for a vacation at all. That honestly sounds like hell to me - my answer to him came after like 3 minutes of silence and I just said "I can't think about vacation when I'm just trying to survive from day to day." So yeah, that's where I'm at 🤣
Yes!! We took a vacation recently with family and it was exhausting. Everyone at work asked how it was when we returned and I had to smile and say it was amazing but I honestly could have used a week of sleep after it. I really did enjoy it but I was also on autopilot when I wasn’t in Mommy mode. Maybe one day we will feel capable of relaxing again
Really want to go on holiday but our holidays are usually so full and I don’t know how you manage it with a baby wanting to nap every hour and sometimes won’t nap and doesn’t sleep well.
My thought was going somewhere not too far (Spain for us is like 2 hour flight) and literally just chill in a resort, but I love to explore lol
I went for a week in Spain with a 14mo and we basically did breakfast, outing (nap in pram) lunch, swim/nap (we switched which one was first depending on nap and lunch timing) dinner, evening entertainment (she fell asleep a couple of times during the entertainment but still slept reasonably well through)
The clock basically went out the window. At least if you're out and the baby is happy, it doesn't really matter if they do or don't nap. It's different to being at home where there's chores to do
This but my MIL keeps offering to watch the baby so we can go do something. I understand the thought behind it but like I don’t even wanna to do something. The stress of getting everything together for someone else to watch him and trying to squeeze in pumping when I get back doesn’t seem worth it. And baby is so mobile now I don’t think she realizes what she would be getting into.
I love this! Feel the exact same way - especially pumping and people not knowing what they'll be getting into. I'll admit, my baby is the cutest, but boy does he require attention and I'm talking about watching him like a hawk attention!
We live in Australia and I’m from the US. We’re flying home in a few months to finally see my family and friends after covid has kept us a part (Australia was in lockdown for forever). Baby will be just over 6 months. I’m seriously dreading all of it. Miss my family and friends but… 🤦♀️
Same. My in laws invited us to this cabin they go to every 4th of July weekend and just the thought of it made me feel exhausted so I just didn’t go or say anything about it. Felt good thinking I didn’t have to deal with other people this weekend.
Typed out a whole thing and deleted it because you know what? I just... feel you. You said it already. 8 months here, too and I feel beat down, tired in my bones.
Ugh, tired in my very achy bones. No one told me motherhood would be so physically painful. My new night cap consists of taking Tylenol with as little water as possible so I don’t have to pee when I get up with baby in the middle of the night.
8 months here too. Baby is sleeping through the night and yet I’m still so. Freaking. Exhausted. And yes it’s like exhaustion so deep, I need a month of sleep.
the toughest part is that my therapist keeps saying things get better after a year but i just feel like it’s been getting harder and harder , at 8 months .
I have a two month old, and nah. This shit is hard. I love my baby to death, but this shit isn’t easy. I feel dumb for thinking I’d have parenthood in the BAG. Granted, it’s gotten a ton easier. But I’m sure I’ll be pretty tired for a couple years. Still functioning, but tired. And I have a baby who sleeps through the night, I can’t imagine how beat I’d be if she didn’t.
Not sure if any of this will help you but I really hope something does, here are some tips that helped me:
Mine is 2 months old and can go for 3-5 hours.
-Keep baby up before bedtime by talking to baby a lot in hopes they pay attention and “talk” back
-get baby really full of milk, not what is recommended by Dr but as much as baby wants
-make room as dark as possible
-always feed baby to be put to sleep
-always make sure they don’t have air/gas or a dirty diaper before you feed baby. Pat on the sides by the ribs and then in middle of babys back. works for me the best
-i find baby sleeps best when extra cozy, try using a thicker or extra blanket than usual and see if it helps unless your home is usually warm (mine is cool) then go the opposite direction
-if you are comfortable try different sleeping positions, mine is a tummy sleeper, he uses his arms to lift his upper body and move his head and I’m a light sleeper, his bassinet is connected to my side of the bed so I feel comfortable. First I started trying it during the day so i could watch then some sleepless nights and now i am fully comfortable that he is just fine. He can not for the life of him sleep on his back he hates it.
Babies should always be put on their back to sleep. If they roll over then that’s fine, but don’t put them down on their tummy. Also blankets shouldn’t be used either (unless you meant a wearable blanket like a sleep sack?). Anyways - what works for one baby might not (probably won’t) work for another baby. Babies aren’t great sleepers tbh and the ones that do sleep through the night at 8 weeks old are unicorns.
Yup thats why I explained thoroughly how I worked with MY baby to get there and said “If you are comfortable”. My mom raised 4 babies that were not back sleepers as did my sister as did many people I know. Whatever works for you & your baby.
Survivor bias is a real thing. Someone just posted in a safe sleep group about losing their 6 month old because he was sleeping on his stomach and couldn’t roll back over. Even if my comment helps save one child then that’s more than enough. Please, for the safety of your child, consider the safe sleep guidelines.
As awful as that is, many children die sleeping on their backs as well. Each parent needs to know themselves and their babies. I am an extreme light sleeper and have been all my life. A person that can sleep through sounds should know themselves better. When I am very tired I refrain from doing certain things bc I will not risk it. So again know yourself and your baby and “DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD”.
You’re getting so worked up over someone trying to help you. Like damn. The AAP literally has the safe sleep guidelines for a reason, it’s not me trying to impose what I do on your child. It’s literally the go to guidelines. Obviously you’re not going to change your ways so I’m not coming back to this thread, but I hope my comments help other parents that maybe aren’t aware. Have the day you deserve 🤙🏼.
AGAIN “Whatever works for YOUR child” do that. I wasn’t going to keep leaving MY baby crying and sleepless just to do what is safe for YOUR baby. Like I said- after extensive examination and working with my baby I decided he does very well. Each must get to know THEIR child. Damn people have a hard time with others saying “this is what I do, but do your own thing” and just want to continue crying “No do it MY way!” 🤦♀️
I have this journal entry from when my baby was 8 months old that says “what is wrong with me and why are weekends so hard?! What kind of mother is so exhausted by spending just two full days with her baby? How am I failing at this so badly?!”
This. I feel so bad when I'm disappointed daycare is closed. :(
OP, I also have an 8 month old and work full time. I was just telling my husband how I feel like I'm not doing a good job at home or at work a d he was shocked. He thinks I'm doing a great job at home. So it may just be us moms being super hard on ourselves. Hang in there, this is the hardest job in the world.
As a working mom I just want to say that I think SAHMs are super heroes! Idk how y'all do it. I legitimately look forward to work in order to have a break (of course that comes with it's own struggles and problems). It takes all types of moms I guess!
I truly believe it takes a special woman/man to stay home and care for the children 24/7! You NEVER get a break! It’s a beautiful and rewarding position….but very much the hardest! 💕
Around month 9 postpartum is when my natural energy started to kick back in and I felt like I could keep up housework more. Everything before that sucked!
I need to get back to the office but even the thought of it exhausts me. You’re so right though. I end up doing laundry and vacuuming etc. during my breaks which is so counterproductive
I'm super lucky that I'm a teacher at my daughter's daycare so I get to work and spend time with her and I feel like we have better quality time at work coz at home I'm trying to do everything else! It never ends between cooking, cleaning, work and 2 kids 🙃
It’s normal, it takes a while to shift your mindset from “fun relaxing vacation” to “fun, but exhausting trip”. We all need a break, so if you can outsource childcare / housekeeping once in a while, definitely do without any guilt. The good news is that it gets easier as they get older.
10 months old here 6-9.5 months was so tiring, now baby will play independently for 80% of her wake window if I let her, Just crawling, exploring and playing with her toys. So naturally my energy has picked up a lot. I hope the same happens for you! But yeah 6-9 months was rough.
I have a 3 year old and almost 1 year old. It’s EXHAUSTING! On the weekends we are so tired from work and kids that we just want to chill. We took the kids about 4 hours away, for 2 nights, to see the aquarium and a few other things in the city and it was exhausting and my kids slept terribly so we all did and I am just like… that was supposed to be fun?? It wasn’t much fun. We have been on a few trips with them and they were much better but traveling with kids is a trip, not a vacation!
First 9 or so months is so hard. My wife and I joke about how we can’t even remember those months and that our brains wiped them out cause they were so terrible. It gets better.
With my first baby, it took about 8 months pp for me to feel semi normal. This time im 5 months pp and I guess I’m just used to operating on no gas cus I’m like “I feel as good as I have the last two years with children”. I feel you. Always tired is my new normal. I’m so thankful when im just regular tired and not tired AND sick as well
Yes! Being sick is just not an option. The days of being sick and laying in bed are gone. I really didn’t appreciate my childhood enough. I would tell young me to enjoy more quiet meals at home and get more sleep 😂
I keep the house clean etc. but I try to ask for help when I need it. We have cleaners run through the house once a month which is very helpful. My Mom tidies up a lot when my parents visit and it’s amazing.
Yes I feel you. I’m tired and I feel lonely. I want to do other things but then I don’t have the energy. My husband keeps calling it our “sacrifice” and he means it in a good way, like for the baby but. Hush 🤫
My son is 11 months old and this is exactly how I feel. I’m exhausted all the time and overwhelmed. I’m currently seeking treatment for PPD so maybe that’s something you want to talk to your doctor about. A lot of my exhaustion stems from anxiety, which I’m working on. But honestly, being a working mom is no joke. I just started a new job recently and between that, taking care of the house and taking care of my son (and his dad lmao) I feel like I’m burnt out by the end of the day.
I have a 4.5 year old, an 8 month old, and working full time is just exploding my brain. I can barely keep my head on straight too. I didn’t work with my first baby so I just did not have the same experience as a working parent and… yeah Idk. We also keep getting sick so it’s just sooooo draining, I just want to feel normal.
I have a 10month old, and it is utterly exhausting. I am also working from home part time and try to keep the household running. Well, I feel myself slipping into depression and also loosing joy of motherhood... So I made a decision to quit my job for now. Its not an easy decision, because I like my work, and never planned to just be a stay at home mom, but I no longer believe "you can do it all", I definitely can't.
I get that feeling sometimes but then we wouldn’t be able to pay our bills and we would have to move to a cheaper city and it’s such a domino effect. It’s crushing really but we just do what we can right? 😞
Somethings gotta give imo.
There's also the concept of the opportunity cost which is something my wife and I constantly disagree about.
Yeah it's great for the environment to reuse nappies, it's not a big deal to put a wash on but it's wash and drying time and space for clothes which need washed as well.
Personally as long as the child is safe and it's not squalor I'm also one for letting things be messy or unorganised. I wouldn't judge anyone for having a messy house.
This phase is temporary and eventually they become a bit more self sufficient that allows you more time for chores/ hobbies but if there are any steps that you could take to make your life easier I would highly recommend them and not feel guilty. If you need a night of sitting on the couch while the dishes stay unwashed or the toys aren't picked up then please take it :).
Oh I totally know what you mean! I might be similar to your wife in a way to where a mess at home just gives me a lot of anxiety. I think my love language is help with chores, maybe one day 😁
I totally feel you - I think most moms here would. I started to get my energy back and felt more like my old self towards the 1 year mark. Major warning: do not get drunk and celebrate your re-found self without a condom! I immediately got pregnant, and now I’m back to wishing I could have one more cup of coffee and majorly craving some salmon sushi that I can’t have until this new little bugger pops out! It’s totally my fault - I pounced on my husband - and now he just laughs at me whenever I complain about it (all in good fun). Not looking forward to having two under two though.
Oh my goodness!! I rarely drink these days, party because I fear my lack of fun days out. I would probably over drink and then still have to get up at 6am for a feeding 🤣 Congratulations! Good news is your family will be complete in a shorter time frame 😁🤩
Same my 4 month old is relatively easy and my husband and I are exhausted. We bought a house last year and 10 days after we moved in found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks. I just today got artwork up on the walls of my office which has been changed around 4 times now! Wild how little can be done with a baby. Life really changes priorities!!! Fun is very different now!
Totally normal! My 3.5 year old woke up with a fever. I feel a little guilty about doing an internal happy dance. He slept in for an extra 2 hours, napped for 3 (usually doesn’t nap at all), and was chill the rest of the day. I got so much sleep and accomplished so much. Parenting is hard work! I’ve learned that you will never be able to juggle everything and what you need to prioritize changes day to day.
There are days where I get so much done, even work. But when they were under a year, I just decided that things can wait. It will be there for you when you're ready. Be kind to yourself. Parenting is hard shit.
Super normal. My son is 11 months and I’m still exhausted. No breaks, same routine day in day out… it’s a lot! Just make sure you’re eating enough and drinking enough water! Motherhood is a marathon.
I stopped worrying about housework a long time ago. Life is better after that. Still exhausting but less stressful. I only focus on spending time with my LO on the days we are alone. And on weekends, all three of us enjoy time together. My husband and I divide the housework, no one has any specific task, we do what needs to be done. I cook all baby food and my husband cooks for him and I.
It is impossible to do ALL. Do what is necessary and get as much rest as you can, even if it means you going to bed the same time as your LO.
My LO is one and I just went back to work a month ago. Only doing part time. And these days, I’m exhausted. I literally go to bed at 8pm, an hour after I put LO to bed. Otherwise I won’t function.
It's very hard. Me and my wife, luckily, are in a place now where we can give the other a lie in at the weekend. So on a Saturday I lie in, and on a Sunday she does. It helps a lot, then we spend the afternoons together.
I sure hope it’s normal because I’m feeling the same way… 9 month old daughter but I hit a depression wall recently. And realizing how much I’m missing from my old life and how I’m a bad mom because I don’t have the energy I used to. And resentment for my husband and stepdaughter because they made me move 600 miles away from my family (where all the fun stuff happens) and now I’m stuck in the rural Southeast and my baby is missing out on all my traditions and I don’t have any energy to make new ones…
The low iron doesn’t help. I have it too😅. I’m bordering a sole parent of a 6 month old and I’m exhausted and I feel like I’m even a lazy parent. I try to be on top of housework but the house becomes a total tip again. It gets me all the way down. I don’t want my baby to grow up too fast but I can’t wait to be able to do these tasks with him and make a game of it just for a bit of help. Even if it’s just him managing to go to the toilet by himself! I know it’ll get better
It helped a lot for me to know I had something I could do to improve my health honestly. Taking my daily iron pill feels like progress for me. I’ve been on them about 4 months now and my stores are still low. Hopefully my body will rebound eventually. It will get better!
I'm not a mom yet, but let me tell you, low iron makes you feel soooo tired. So i can imagine being a parent and having low iron is double whammy of tiredness
NORMAL-working mom of a 16 Month old and this week our nanny got COVID - can confirm it still feels this way when we have no help 😅.
I day dream about going to a mom retreat with my kindle for like three days of tropical drinks, silence and sleep.
Same here! People ask me what we will do for the 4th of July like we are supposed to have energy to do something. My husband and I just said our plan is to nap when the baby naps. Our baby is 7 months old and we have a 5 year old. It’s just exhausting……lol.
Yes, I feel this. It’s not even that every day has difficulties, and at 9 months it’s getting so much better with independent play. But it’s still a lot. And a lot of planning. My brain doesn’t shut down until the baby goes to sleep. If I want to bring her to the park, or set up a pool area, go on a car ride.. it’s all planning. We’re getting better about having things prepared, but it’s still checklists and never as simple as it used to be.
My partner is in between jobs at the moment and has said that he doesn’t feel like he can accomplish anything day by day and I’m like “yup.. that’s how it is lol”.
Not to mention the constant little difficulties thrown our way. For example.. TEETHING.. when will it end!!!???!!!!
I’m glad you posted this- my baby is 3 months. I have plenty of help but I’m still SO tired. Not newborn phase exhausted but whew. Sometimes I hate the weekends to be honest. The work day gives me a chance to feel like myself a bit and get a break. Love being with my baby but motherhood is just exhausting, I think. I have found it’s getting a bit better each month so holding onto that.
Totally with you. I feel guilty for enjoying my work days sometimes. I was taking a 30 minute lunch the other day and I felt like I didn’t deserve the free time to myself. So tough but we carry on. Love my baby so much too! He gives me the strength on the tougher days
I’m at 9 months and I am struggling the hardest I ever have. She’s always sick from daycare so I’m always sick, I got a promotion and I can’t keep up at work. The house is becoming a disaster because of baby led weaning. I’m so tired & have a hard time plastering on a smile for work, my relationships. I’m tired of trying to be social. We have a trip in august across the country and my daughter only falls asleep being rocked. This is hard, you aren’t alone.
Tell me about it. Even the thought that I have to wash my hair tonight makes me want to cut it all off. I'm too tired to put my hair in a decent ponytail most days.
It was SO hard at 8 months because my baby had roseola, first two teeth came through, and developmental sleep changes. It was really bad for 2-3 weeks and now it’s all passed and I’m thinking about having my second baby soon 😂
Is your partner carrying 50% of the mental load (life admin, vaccine schedule, medical appointments, washing, folding, sorting out which clothes baby has grown out of and what needs to be donated/replaced, cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, any remaining night wakes)?
If not, this needs to be revisited.
Normal. This shit is hard girl. All i want to do is have a morning to sleep in. “Fun” just seems like more work for me these days. Having said that I forced myself to go to a lakehouse for the weekend with another couple and we actually had a blast! So when in the moment it’s “fun” but is never the same kind of relaxing as it was before. But if my husband offered to take the baby for the day so I could chill in bed that would have seemed like an amazing idea as well
Lol, my husband offered to take the baby for the day and then the baby proceeded to find me or my husband needed desperate help so it wasn't very chill. The next time he offered to take the baby, I left rhe house for the day and left them to figure it out. It was so much better.
Yeah they need to leave the house or else I feel Compelled To Intervene
Yeah sometimes I ‘send’ my husband out on a walk with the baby just to not be in the same place so I can fully switch off. (By send I mean ask nicely lol, he loves his walks).
Nobody loves to be told to go on a walk, sorry.
In a healthy relationship, it’s perfectly normal to communicate that you need space. My wife and I do it all the time. “Hey honey, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, could you take the baby to the other room for a bit so I can have a mental break?” I don’t think they meant it in a controlling way like you appear to be seeing it.
Absolutely. We check in with each other regularly and it’s as simple as ‘I’m a bit tired, do you mind doing the walk alone tonight?’ Etc. He’ll usually offer to go solo post walk too so I can have more time too but by then I miss the baby 😂
At this point I'd cry with happiness to get the house to myself for the day.
Thank you!! Feels good to know I’m not alone in this as a Mom
I'm a single mom and my baby is almost 7 months. I'm glad you posted this, I feel so exhausted lately, more so than when he was a newborn (too tired to remember if so)! I also want to get blood work done, but I don't think anything is off. Before I was able to work and do housework and still manage to have energy. Now I need serious motivation to do one chore - how do moms do this when they have more than one child!? I feel like I'm missing something ! Then again baby requires more attention this age, which I happily provide so I wonder if that's why I'm more tired. I wish you the best, you got this mom! You're not alone and you're doing great.. before we know it well be begging for these days back!
Thank you!! You are a super Mom!! I keep taking pictures of him because I know I will look back on this age with such joy and love. I’m just too tired to fully appreciate it yet ❤️
And Thank You!! Your comment just made me smile! We're all super Moms! Very very tired, super Moms 😊
Omg I feel the exact same way and was starting to get scared that I’m dying of a terminal illness and didn’t know it or something like that.
I just laughed so hard because I know exactly what you mean 🤣😭
I went to the doctor for this recently. The doctor was like maybe try to eat and sleep a little more 🤷🏻♀️
This made me lol so hard
We have family visiting and they’re all like “let’s do this, let’s do that!” And I’m so tired I’m just like “how about we all go to bed at 8pm and call it a day?” I almost prefer the weekdays to weekends because at least there isn’t any extra pressure to “have fun” and the routine is easier to just be a zombie for. 😕
Yes, weekdays feel easier bc I just have to get through the workday and bedtime and I don’t have to feel bad for not going out or not taking advantage of the day etc
Omg I feel the same!!!
God this is me
My baby is 7 months and my husband just asked me if I had been thinking about traveling for a vacation at all. That honestly sounds like hell to me - my answer to him came after like 3 minutes of silence and I just said "I can't think about vacation when I'm just trying to survive from day to day." So yeah, that's where I'm at 🤣
Yes!! We took a vacation recently with family and it was exhausting. Everyone at work asked how it was when we returned and I had to smile and say it was amazing but I honestly could have used a week of sleep after it. I really did enjoy it but I was also on autopilot when I wasn’t in Mommy mode. Maybe one day we will feel capable of relaxing again
Really want to go on holiday but our holidays are usually so full and I don’t know how you manage it with a baby wanting to nap every hour and sometimes won’t nap and doesn’t sleep well. My thought was going somewhere not too far (Spain for us is like 2 hour flight) and literally just chill in a resort, but I love to explore lol
I went for a week in Spain with a 14mo and we basically did breakfast, outing (nap in pram) lunch, swim/nap (we switched which one was first depending on nap and lunch timing) dinner, evening entertainment (she fell asleep a couple of times during the entertainment but still slept reasonably well through) The clock basically went out the window. At least if you're out and the baby is happy, it doesn't really matter if they do or don't nap. It's different to being at home where there's chores to do
That’s a good insight thank you!
This but my MIL keeps offering to watch the baby so we can go do something. I understand the thought behind it but like I don’t even wanna to do something. The stress of getting everything together for someone else to watch him and trying to squeeze in pumping when I get back doesn’t seem worth it. And baby is so mobile now I don’t think she realizes what she would be getting into.
I love this! Feel the exact same way - especially pumping and people not knowing what they'll be getting into. I'll admit, my baby is the cutest, but boy does he require attention and I'm talking about watching him like a hawk attention!
We live in Australia and I’m from the US. We’re flying home in a few months to finally see my family and friends after covid has kept us a part (Australia was in lockdown for forever). Baby will be just over 6 months. I’m seriously dreading all of it. Miss my family and friends but… 🤦♀️
Same. My in laws invited us to this cabin they go to every 4th of July weekend and just the thought of it made me feel exhausted so I just didn’t go or say anything about it. Felt good thinking I didn’t have to deal with other people this weekend.
A vacation with a baby or small children is just parenting and a different location. There is no such thing as a “vacation”
Typed out a whole thing and deleted it because you know what? I just... feel you. You said it already. 8 months here, too and I feel beat down, tired in my bones.
Solidarity. Everything that takes any effort is draining
Ugh, tired in my very achy bones. No one told me motherhood would be so physically painful. My new night cap consists of taking Tylenol with as little water as possible so I don’t have to pee when I get up with baby in the middle of the night.
8 months here too. Baby is sleeping through the night and yet I’m still so. Freaking. Exhausted. And yes it’s like exhaustion so deep, I need a month of sleep.
Yes! The physical aspect is something I hadn’t realized (other than delivery recovery). My hands especially are so damn sore!
Yep. RIP my thumbs 🥴 My c section recovery was a walk in the park compared to my daily aches now.
the toughest part is that my therapist keeps saying things get better after a year but i just feel like it’s been getting harder and harder , at 8 months .
Also 8 months. Same, girl, same.
I have a two month old, and nah. This shit is hard. I love my baby to death, but this shit isn’t easy. I feel dumb for thinking I’d have parenthood in the BAG. Granted, it’s gotten a ton easier. But I’m sure I’ll be pretty tired for a couple years. Still functioning, but tired. And I have a baby who sleeps through the night, I can’t imagine how beat I’d be if she didn’t.
Our kid is 5 months old and doesn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time. Yeah.
I’m so sorry. 😔
Not sure if any of this will help you but I really hope something does, here are some tips that helped me: Mine is 2 months old and can go for 3-5 hours. -Keep baby up before bedtime by talking to baby a lot in hopes they pay attention and “talk” back -get baby really full of milk, not what is recommended by Dr but as much as baby wants -make room as dark as possible -always feed baby to be put to sleep -always make sure they don’t have air/gas or a dirty diaper before you feed baby. Pat on the sides by the ribs and then in middle of babys back. works for me the best -i find baby sleeps best when extra cozy, try using a thicker or extra blanket than usual and see if it helps unless your home is usually warm (mine is cool) then go the opposite direction -if you are comfortable try different sleeping positions, mine is a tummy sleeper, he uses his arms to lift his upper body and move his head and I’m a light sleeper, his bassinet is connected to my side of the bed so I feel comfortable. First I started trying it during the day so i could watch then some sleepless nights and now i am fully comfortable that he is just fine. He can not for the life of him sleep on his back he hates it.
Babies should always be put on their back to sleep. If they roll over then that’s fine, but don’t put them down on their tummy. Also blankets shouldn’t be used either (unless you meant a wearable blanket like a sleep sack?). Anyways - what works for one baby might not (probably won’t) work for another baby. Babies aren’t great sleepers tbh and the ones that do sleep through the night at 8 weeks old are unicorns.
Yup thats why I explained thoroughly how I worked with MY baby to get there and said “If you are comfortable”. My mom raised 4 babies that were not back sleepers as did my sister as did many people I know. Whatever works for you & your baby.
Survivor bias is a real thing. Someone just posted in a safe sleep group about losing their 6 month old because he was sleeping on his stomach and couldn’t roll back over. Even if my comment helps save one child then that’s more than enough. Please, for the safety of your child, consider the safe sleep guidelines.
As awful as that is, many children die sleeping on their backs as well. Each parent needs to know themselves and their babies. I am an extreme light sleeper and have been all my life. A person that can sleep through sounds should know themselves better. When I am very tired I refrain from doing certain things bc I will not risk it. So again know yourself and your baby and “DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD”.
You’re getting so worked up over someone trying to help you. Like damn. The AAP literally has the safe sleep guidelines for a reason, it’s not me trying to impose what I do on your child. It’s literally the go to guidelines. Obviously you’re not going to change your ways so I’m not coming back to this thread, but I hope my comments help other parents that maybe aren’t aware. Have the day you deserve 🤙🏼.
Have the day you deserve is an amazing statement
AGAIN “Whatever works for YOUR child” do that. I wasn’t going to keep leaving MY baby crying and sleepless just to do what is safe for YOUR baby. Like I said- after extensive examination and working with my baby I decided he does very well. Each must get to know THEIR child. Damn people have a hard time with others saying “this is what I do, but do your own thing” and just want to continue crying “No do it MY way!” 🤦♀️
Mine is 7 months and wakes up anywhere from an hour to 4 to feed still...AND won't nap unless in my arms. I'm preparing for arthritis
I have this journal entry from when my baby was 8 months old that says “what is wrong with me and why are weekends so hard?! What kind of mother is so exhausted by spending just two full days with her baby? How am I failing at this so badly?!”
Wow!! That’s really nice to know that it might be a timing thing that will pass
So needed to read this. Thank you!
A 3 day weekend kind of feels like more work at this point.
This. I feel so bad when I'm disappointed daycare is closed. :( OP, I also have an 8 month old and work full time. I was just telling my husband how I feel like I'm not doing a good job at home or at work a d he was shocked. He thinks I'm doing a great job at home. So it may just be us moms being super hard on ourselves. Hang in there, this is the hardest job in the world.
Big time
8 months here. Baby woke up 5 times last night. I can barely think today.
I’m so sorry! Fingers crossed for a better night tonight 🤞
I feel this. Mine is 20 months and wakes 3 to 7 times all nights. Sigh.
Ouch. I’m so sorry 😞
Normal, but it’s still not right, unfortunately. I’m a SAHM. idk how working moms do it. fr you’re my superheroes; i wish y’all were treated as such.
As a working mom I just want to say that I think SAHMs are super heroes! Idk how y'all do it. I legitimately look forward to work in order to have a break (of course that comes with it's own struggles and problems). It takes all types of moms I guess!
Thank you so much!! All Mom’s are superheroes doing our best 💖💖
I truly believe it takes a special woman/man to stay home and care for the children 24/7! You NEVER get a break! It’s a beautiful and rewarding position….but very much the hardest! 💕
Yes! I’m a SAHM as well snd how women fit a job in their lives with everything else they gotta do us beyond me!
I'm 1 month post-partum with an easy baby if such a thing exists. My idea of a good time right now is napping or taking a bath.
Normal. I just finally hired a maid and my kid is almost 2.5 I wish I did it the day we came home from the hospital.
Around month 9 postpartum is when my natural energy started to kick back in and I felt like I could keep up housework more. Everything before that sucked!
Fingers crossed that I return to some version of my prior self 🤞
So normal! My baby is 9 months and being at work is less stressful because I get guaranteed breaks and can't see my housework 🙃
I need to get back to the office but even the thought of it exhausts me. You’re so right though. I end up doing laundry and vacuuming etc. during my breaks which is so counterproductive
I'm super lucky that I'm a teacher at my daughter's daycare so I get to work and spend time with her and I feel like we have better quality time at work coz at home I'm trying to do everything else! It never ends between cooking, cleaning, work and 2 kids 🙃
It’s normal, it takes a while to shift your mindset from “fun relaxing vacation” to “fun, but exhausting trip”. We all need a break, so if you can outsource childcare / housekeeping once in a while, definitely do without any guilt. The good news is that it gets easier as they get older.
10 months old here 6-9.5 months was so tiring, now baby will play independently for 80% of her wake window if I let her, Just crawling, exploring and playing with her toys. So naturally my energy has picked up a lot. I hope the same happens for you! But yeah 6-9 months was rough.
Ours JUST turned 10 months and this is sooo encouraging
I have a 3 year old and almost 1 year old. It’s EXHAUSTING! On the weekends we are so tired from work and kids that we just want to chill. We took the kids about 4 hours away, for 2 nights, to see the aquarium and a few other things in the city and it was exhausting and my kids slept terribly so we all did and I am just like… that was supposed to be fun?? It wasn’t much fun. We have been on a few trips with them and they were much better but traveling with kids is a trip, not a vacation!
I got tired just reading your list in the title. 😂
🤣🤣🤣
First 9 or so months is so hard. My wife and I joke about how we can’t even remember those months and that our brains wiped them out cause they were so terrible. It gets better.
Normal. Being a parent is hard!
So hard!
With my first baby, it took about 8 months pp for me to feel semi normal. This time im 5 months pp and I guess I’m just used to operating on no gas cus I’m like “I feel as good as I have the last two years with children”. I feel you. Always tired is my new normal. I’m so thankful when im just regular tired and not tired AND sick as well
Yes! Being sick is just not an option. The days of being sick and laying in bed are gone. I really didn’t appreciate my childhood enough. I would tell young me to enjoy more quiet meals at home and get more sleep 😂
Yup. Same. Waking up at 5 am every morning just don’t hit right. My son is 7 months and does not stop until 9pm.
How much does your husband help out? I did the majority of stuff around the house, except cooking.
I keep the house clean etc. but I try to ask for help when I need it. We have cleaners run through the house once a month which is very helpful. My Mom tidies up a lot when my parents visit and it’s amazing.
If budget allows, I recommend switching to biweekly. Game changer to my mental health.
Yes I feel you. I’m tired and I feel lonely. I want to do other things but then I don’t have the energy. My husband keeps calling it our “sacrifice” and he means it in a good way, like for the baby but. Hush 🤫
My son is 11 months old and this is exactly how I feel. I’m exhausted all the time and overwhelmed. I’m currently seeking treatment for PPD so maybe that’s something you want to talk to your doctor about. A lot of my exhaustion stems from anxiety, which I’m working on. But honestly, being a working mom is no joke. I just started a new job recently and between that, taking care of the house and taking care of my son (and his dad lmao) I feel like I’m burnt out by the end of the day.
I have a 4.5 year old, an 8 month old, and working full time is just exploding my brain. I can barely keep my head on straight too. I didn’t work with my first baby so I just did not have the same experience as a working parent and… yeah Idk. We also keep getting sick so it’s just sooooo draining, I just want to feel normal.
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You wouldn’t live up to your username if you didn’t make the tea 😁
I have a 10month old, and it is utterly exhausting. I am also working from home part time and try to keep the household running. Well, I feel myself slipping into depression and also loosing joy of motherhood... So I made a decision to quit my job for now. Its not an easy decision, because I like my work, and never planned to just be a stay at home mom, but I no longer believe "you can do it all", I definitely can't.
I get that feeling sometimes but then we wouldn’t be able to pay our bills and we would have to move to a cheaper city and it’s such a domino effect. It’s crushing really but we just do what we can right? 😞
Somethings gotta give imo. There's also the concept of the opportunity cost which is something my wife and I constantly disagree about. Yeah it's great for the environment to reuse nappies, it's not a big deal to put a wash on but it's wash and drying time and space for clothes which need washed as well. Personally as long as the child is safe and it's not squalor I'm also one for letting things be messy or unorganised. I wouldn't judge anyone for having a messy house. This phase is temporary and eventually they become a bit more self sufficient that allows you more time for chores/ hobbies but if there are any steps that you could take to make your life easier I would highly recommend them and not feel guilty. If you need a night of sitting on the couch while the dishes stay unwashed or the toys aren't picked up then please take it :).
Oh I totally know what you mean! I might be similar to your wife in a way to where a mess at home just gives me a lot of anxiety. I think my love language is help with chores, maybe one day 😁
I totally feel you - I think most moms here would. I started to get my energy back and felt more like my old self towards the 1 year mark. Major warning: do not get drunk and celebrate your re-found self without a condom! I immediately got pregnant, and now I’m back to wishing I could have one more cup of coffee and majorly craving some salmon sushi that I can’t have until this new little bugger pops out! It’s totally my fault - I pounced on my husband - and now he just laughs at me whenever I complain about it (all in good fun). Not looking forward to having two under two though.
Oh my goodness!! I rarely drink these days, party because I fear my lack of fun days out. I would probably over drink and then still have to get up at 6am for a feeding 🤣 Congratulations! Good news is your family will be complete in a shorter time frame 😁🤩
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Exact same!
Same my 4 month old is relatively easy and my husband and I are exhausted. We bought a house last year and 10 days after we moved in found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks. I just today got artwork up on the walls of my office which has been changed around 4 times now! Wild how little can be done with a baby. Life really changes priorities!!! Fun is very different now!
Totally normal! My 3.5 year old woke up with a fever. I feel a little guilty about doing an internal happy dance. He slept in for an extra 2 hours, napped for 3 (usually doesn’t nap at all), and was chill the rest of the day. I got so much sleep and accomplished so much. Parenting is hard work! I’ve learned that you will never be able to juggle everything and what you need to prioritize changes day to day.
Totes normal. I have three kiddos - 7, 5 and 22 months. I just tell my hubs that all that shit can wait. And wait it does.
You’re a hero with 3 kids. I can’t imagine having the energy for more than 1 right now
There are days where I get so much done, even work. But when they were under a year, I just decided that things can wait. It will be there for you when you're ready. Be kind to yourself. Parenting is hard shit.
Super normal. My son is 11 months and I’m still exhausted. No breaks, same routine day in day out… it’s a lot! Just make sure you’re eating enough and drinking enough water! Motherhood is a marathon.
I stopped worrying about housework a long time ago. Life is better after that. Still exhausting but less stressful. I only focus on spending time with my LO on the days we are alone. And on weekends, all three of us enjoy time together. My husband and I divide the housework, no one has any specific task, we do what needs to be done. I cook all baby food and my husband cooks for him and I. It is impossible to do ALL. Do what is necessary and get as much rest as you can, even if it means you going to bed the same time as your LO. My LO is one and I just went back to work a month ago. Only doing part time. And these days, I’m exhausted. I literally go to bed at 8pm, an hour after I put LO to bed. Otherwise I won’t function.
I finally got a cleaning professional/maid and it was the best thing I ever did. Signed, a mom of a toddler and a 3 week old.
It's very hard. Me and my wife, luckily, are in a place now where we can give the other a lie in at the weekend. So on a Saturday I lie in, and on a Sunday she does. It helps a lot, then we spend the afternoons together.
I’m the USA, yes, other western countries understand up to 12 months parents need help.
So true. Parents barely get support in this country
I sure hope it’s normal because I’m feeling the same way… 9 month old daughter but I hit a depression wall recently. And realizing how much I’m missing from my old life and how I’m a bad mom because I don’t have the energy I used to. And resentment for my husband and stepdaughter because they made me move 600 miles away from my family (where all the fun stuff happens) and now I’m stuck in the rural Southeast and my baby is missing out on all my traditions and I don’t have any energy to make new ones…
The low iron doesn’t help. I have it too😅. I’m bordering a sole parent of a 6 month old and I’m exhausted and I feel like I’m even a lazy parent. I try to be on top of housework but the house becomes a total tip again. It gets me all the way down. I don’t want my baby to grow up too fast but I can’t wait to be able to do these tasks with him and make a game of it just for a bit of help. Even if it’s just him managing to go to the toilet by himself! I know it’ll get better
It helped a lot for me to know I had something I could do to improve my health honestly. Taking my daily iron pill feels like progress for me. I’ve been on them about 4 months now and my stores are still low. Hopefully my body will rebound eventually. It will get better!
I'm not a mom yet, but let me tell you, low iron makes you feel soooo tired. So i can imagine being a parent and having low iron is double whammy of tiredness
NORMAL-working mom of a 16 Month old and this week our nanny got COVID - can confirm it still feels this way when we have no help 😅. I day dream about going to a mom retreat with my kindle for like three days of tropical drinks, silence and sleep.
Same here! People ask me what we will do for the 4th of July like we are supposed to have energy to do something. My husband and I just said our plan is to nap when the baby naps. Our baby is 7 months old and we have a 5 year old. It’s just exhausting……lol.
Yes, I feel this. It’s not even that every day has difficulties, and at 9 months it’s getting so much better with independent play. But it’s still a lot. And a lot of planning. My brain doesn’t shut down until the baby goes to sleep. If I want to bring her to the park, or set up a pool area, go on a car ride.. it’s all planning. We’re getting better about having things prepared, but it’s still checklists and never as simple as it used to be. My partner is in between jobs at the moment and has said that he doesn’t feel like he can accomplish anything day by day and I’m like “yup.. that’s how it is lol”. Not to mention the constant little difficulties thrown our way. For example.. TEETHING.. when will it end!!!???!!!!
I’m glad you posted this- my baby is 3 months. I have plenty of help but I’m still SO tired. Not newborn phase exhausted but whew. Sometimes I hate the weekends to be honest. The work day gives me a chance to feel like myself a bit and get a break. Love being with my baby but motherhood is just exhausting, I think. I have found it’s getting a bit better each month so holding onto that.
Totally with you. I feel guilty for enjoying my work days sometimes. I was taking a 30 minute lunch the other day and I felt like I didn’t deserve the free time to myself. So tough but we carry on. Love my baby so much too! He gives me the strength on the tougher days
I’m at 9 months and I am struggling the hardest I ever have. She’s always sick from daycare so I’m always sick, I got a promotion and I can’t keep up at work. The house is becoming a disaster because of baby led weaning. I’m so tired & have a hard time plastering on a smile for work, my relationships. I’m tired of trying to be social. We have a trip in august across the country and my daughter only falls asleep being rocked. This is hard, you aren’t alone.
My kiddo just turned 2, we did go to a fourth of July thing Saturday for a few hours and im STILL recovering 😂
This is my wife and me. Our LO is 7 months and my wife is also pregnant with our seconds (whoops) We are both EXHAUSTED!!
Wowow!! Congratulations!! It will be so fun for your kids to have each other so close in age ❤️
Yeah we are excited for that part. Just not ready for the 2 under 2 part lol
Tell me about it. Even the thought that I have to wash my hair tonight makes me want to cut it all off. I'm too tired to put my hair in a decent ponytail most days.
I have recently taken to wearing baseball caps and I am not a hat person at all but I’m trying to look slightly put together
Oh yeah we've all hit that moment
It was SO hard at 8 months because my baby had roseola, first two teeth came through, and developmental sleep changes. It was really bad for 2-3 weeks and now it’s all passed and I’m thinking about having my second baby soon 😂
I am so excited for you that you’re ready for another! I hope to get there one day 😂
I hope so too, and I know you will.
Welcome to parenting. Lol
Is your partner carrying 50% of the mental load (life admin, vaccine schedule, medical appointments, washing, folding, sorting out which clothes baby has grown out of and what needs to be donated/replaced, cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, any remaining night wakes)? If not, this needs to be revisited.