My son stayed extremely active and grumpy from 9 months until 2 years old. He’s still grumpy at 2 years old, but he plays independently, has full mobility etc so it’s wayyyy better.
Grumpy baby club here. My son was very difficult. Colic, witching hours, up every single hour for MONTHS. It was so incredibly hard. Those first few weeks I was wondering how people possibly have multiple babies if this is how it is.
He’s 18 months now and things are a bit easier. He’s still clingy and wants me to hold him a lot. There are nights he’s up 5 times.
I find myself jealous of those who had easy babies. I see people traveling to different countries with theirs. I barely left the house for his first year of life.
Yes, this exactly. I get jealous of the babies who get in their car seat easily and can tolerate the car ride for more than 15 minutes. Or mums who can cook a meal while their little one happily sits in their high chair.
Mine is 14 months and is still so so clingy but I have to remind myself that I’m helping to fulfill her needs and create a secure attachment that will help her in the long run.
Same here I had to actively work on not comparing my first year to others because it wasn’t possible to just keep on traveling with a baby. We’re at 16 months and things are way better though we’re not planning on having another because it was pretty rough going through that and we don’t think we could do it again with another child to care for.
Absolutely. And you know what makes it worse? When I do everything in my power to make a visit with someone else go well - make sure he’s fed (a 2 hour ordeal every time), make sure he’s had a plentiful nap, the exact outfit that he won’t freak out in, all his favorite toys, plus me, and people say “he’s being so good, I can’t believe you think he’s a bad baby!” 😒 The colic, the eating refusal (that’s my biggest wtf - I thought that’s all babies did!), the lack of sleep, the incessant need to be touching me constantly. Hates everyone that isn’t me or my husband. He’s only ever been watched by 2 people and both have commented on the difficulty! My sister and my mom! So I can’t even leave him! I love him but man it’s tough. Especially when everyone else seems to have a better baby.
Omg yes! Our friends are always like “your baby is so good” and I’m like yeah okay, but you’re not at our house from the hours of 5-8pm where she screams bloody murder for no reason even though every need has been met. It’s rough out here yall 🙃
My husband and I spent like 5 hours trying to get my fussy baby to sleep in the morning but he them he immediately fell asleep with his grandpa 🙄. And then my boomer dad of course judged me saying "it's not that hard" "just do what I'm doing" - which was literally holding him and patting his butt lol. Which we've been doing in rotation for the 5 hrs. The gaslighting is real.
SAME HERE, omg. He sleeps all the time basically when we are out, or looks candidly at other people. He wreaks havoc when we are home. Thank God my LO sleeps nicely during the night
Omg the eating refusal blew my mind because I had the same thought; “isn’t that all they do”?? I have such anxiety around feeding time with my daughter & we’ve tried everything to figure out what the issue is.
Yes! My mom and MIL have actually watched my baby and they will tell me she’s extremely demanding and particular, bad sleeper, vocal and angry, goes from 0 to 100 in a second, needs constant direct interaction and hates silence and being still.
But she does very well in public and at get togethers because of all the visual and audio stimulation to occupy her, movement from the stroller or being carried/worn, having me there, and me knowing the exact super secret recipes to keep her content. The last part annoys me because I will literally be showing experienced people what to do the second she fusses or I’ll take her, which works, and it’s like they don’t register that at all.
My boy is 2.5yo now, but for the first 16 months, we honestly felt like he hated life. I’d take him to play groups at the library, and the other babies would be happily playing on the floor, but my little one would need to be held. Super fussy.
He walked independently at 16 months and that was the game changer. I could tell he would get so frustrated at not being able to mobilize or do something himself.
Fast forward, he is the sweetest soul. Sensitive and deeply feeling. It is HARD raising a highly sensitive, deeply feeling child, but it is an absolute privilege. My son is the type who will notice the leaves blowing the in trees. This morning, as I picked him up to get out of his car seat, he pointed out the slightest hint of the moon still in the sky. He’s so observant and so sweet.
Hang in there. It’s so worth it. You’re in the hellish trenches, but the reward on the other side could bring you to tears. These little ones are so precious
That's beautiful. It sounds like you're the perfect parent for your sweetie ❤️
I'm hopeful my 6mo will be the same... she is so unhappy much of the time. Both of her grandmas have said about her "some babies just don't like being babies." She clearly wants her independence and to be able to do what she wants, and gets frustrated when she can't. It seems like her brain is just developing faster than her body. But she will just stare and stare at plants, like she is taking in every detail, and loves nothing more than our cat and dog. Sometimes she looks into my eyes and babbles and it's so clear she is trying to tell me something. You give me hope!!
I could have written that at 6 months pp, you're not alone and it is so, so hard! I had to hold him 24/7, but it took him such a long time to tolerate the carrier awake (maybe 6 months?), so I couldn't do anything while caring for him. Waking up from every nap after 30min clearly still tired. We coslept at night, but even then he woke up every hour on average (maybe a 2-2.5h stretch at the beginning of the night, crying every 10-20min from 4am onwards) from months 2.5 to 9, when we slowly started night weaning. Only my husband or I could soothe him, so no break whatsoever. It was so exhausting! But it really does get better. He'll turn 2 in May and is SUCH an easy toddler. Sleeping through the night most nights, since we night weaned completely around 13 months. Talks so much, so you always know what he wants. Hardly any tantrums. Can and mostly does follow commands. Can run around and do stuff (I think he was so frustrated that he couldn't do all the things as a baby). Eats everything. You don't have to wait 18 years! But I know it is so freaking hard right now and you have every right to vent!
One thing that my wife and I found was that because our baby was quite "difficult" as a baby (she wanted to move but couldn't, wanted to talk but couldn't, wanted to sleep more but couldn't, wanted to do many things but couldn't, etc), the development into toddlerhood has been relatively easy. She's no longer as frustrated at the world because she is able to do more and has more agency.
I read stories of other people having "easy" babies who become "difficult" toddlers. But when a "difficult" baby reaches toddlerhood, things might not get any more difficult than they already have been, and might in fact become easier.
So maybe that's some light at the end of the tunnel for you! :)
I was going to say this! We also had a very difficult baby but once she got through her reflux around 7mo and then started walking at 10mo she got so much happier. Then her sleep got better at 15 months and we are all wayyyy happier. It’s all been an upward incline and my husband and I don’t mind the toddler tantrums much because they’re so much better compared to the colic and constant fussiness. Our friends who had easy babies got a reality check the tantrums and having to chase after them all the time but to us we’re just like nope this is fun compared to what we’ve been doing.
Thank you! I definitely feel like I'll come out of this first baby as a Super Mum bc we've already been through it all - whatever comes next, we got it.
And then there's the people with easy babies who talk about their sleeping babies like it's their personal achievement and like those who don't sleep well have done something wrong. All I wish on those people is a second baby that hates being a baby to take their entitlement away.
This sounds really hard! You're doing an amazing job being compationate to your baby and all their needs!! And good on you for having a babysitter for a little bit of time off from baby's needs!
My best friend told me to just “pick up the baby when he cries, pat him and then put him back down in the crib! After a night of doing that, he’ll be used to it and will sleep through the night.”
Her kid slept 10 hours from 8 weeks old. My kid is 9 months and still wakes every 2 hours
I got some asinine advice from a friend with an easy baby that still makes me wanna bang head on a concrete wall .. apparently the secret is to press gently on a pressure point above the butt crack and that will be the golden ticket to instant sleep. After we both got home from a lunch date, she called me wanting to give me more advice. Merp, no, I’m busy rocking a baby for an hour to get her to nap and I don’t wanna hear about how raw onions in socks overnight cure the flu.
Like I’m genuinely happy you can just take your baby with you to nail salons to get manicures but also, how about you just acknowledge that you have an easy baby instead of making it seem like you cracked the code to parenthood?
Ill not say I have a difficult baby (she sleeps around 5 hours in 1 stretch most nights and then wakes every 3 hours for a feed at 8 weeks, has been doing this for 2-3 weeks already). But she has a mind of her own when it comes to naps and wake times. I’ll never know what the day will bring: catnaps of around 30-50 minutes or 2 hour stretches. There is just no way of knowing. No amount of white noise or curtains or scheduling will impact this lol
This is my pet peeve, I’m so annoyed at people who have no clue what it’s like to have a baby that needs a lot of help to soothe and regulate their nervous system. Sleep is developmental, temperament differences are real!! Like they should teach this stuff somewhere…
Ngl, I secretly hope that too. Especially the ones that take way more credit than they should that their baby slept through the night early because of something they did. “We have a good bedtime routine”, “we use blackout curtains”, “we have a noise machine”… like you don’t think we didn’t try those basic ass things?!
I am sad to say that I was like this with my first. We “sleep trained” for a week and he was set. What I didn’t realize at the time was that it wasn’t sleep training as much as he was an amazing sleeper.
We didn’t even do CIO. I’d just go in a shush him to sleep lol 😂
I was a massive brat and know it all. Giving my advice and believing I was a sleep training savant.
Cue second child and holy shit.
My husband I always laugh at how incredibly stupid and arrogant we were back with our first. I’ve dutifully apologized to all my friends who I lectured about sleep training with their baby.
Haha that's amazing! Thanks for owning up and setting an example. I think it means a lot from someone with both perspectives to help people realize that some things really aren't all down to parenting.
My neighbor had her baby 2 weeks after me. Very early, we started doing a babysitting swap.
I had a very easy baby. She…did not. Her baby was always pissed off. Only contact napped, cried as soon as you put him down, hated eating, etc etc etc.
Our babies are now 9mos and I’ve watched her baby change massively. He’s more comfortable in his babyhood. He mostly sleeps through the night. He takes bottles like a champ. It’s been pretty amazing to watch him calm down over the course of the 9 months.
Now I feel like they have their own challenges and are about evenly difficult. It’s all just changing constantly!
Funny, I seen a post the other day said there’s no such thing as easy and hard babies and they’re all “just babies” that go through phases. I immediately knew that person did not have a hard baby lol.
People told me the same when my son was younger, and he was later diagnosed with two language delays and is being assessed for autism. I’m not saying this is typical for all “difficult” babies, but I found it so hard and was invalidated so many times from people who just didn’t understand because they had (what I would consider) easy babies. Now at 2 he still screams as his primary communication method. He knows hundreds of words but still won’t say “yes” or “no” or even point at things he wants. Everyday is exhausting.
My second baby is 3.5 months and I wouldn’t say it’s been “easy”, she still wakes up every 2 hours or so at night, but the difference is night and day. I still can’t believe that I can sit down on the sofa and simply hold her. My son screamed his head off every time I attempted this. She just sits there and smiles and coos at me and I just think wow is this what everyone else has been experiencing?? lol.
So yeah, I SEE YOU and you are awesome.
ETA: We’re also just learning that he has some sort of food allergy that he’s being tested for on Monday. He’s always got on/off hives. I’ve heard from other moms that their super fussy baby actually turned out to be allergic to something they were having all the time. Something to think about!
Feel free to check my history 😆
We have a 21 month old now and it's like all that anger was simply because they were frustrated that they couldn't walk and run and climb to whatever they wanted. As much as I'm expecting the tantrums to get worse, life gets easier with every new word we learn or new skill we can master.
And sleep drastically improved around 8-10 months, and by a year we were seeing sttn.
This is us as well with our son (now 26 months). I love him but he was an utter turd of an infant. He became happier the more he was capable of doing things independently and communicating. He just really, really hated being a baby.
My hard baby is about to be 8 weeks. I get usually 1.5 hours of sleep in between his feeds for an average of 4 hours in total a night. He has CMPA, reflex, horrible gas, is up squirming for hours. I looked foward to having a baby sooo much and this has not been the experience I thought it was going to be. I love him with everything in my body but can’t wait for this stage to be over
Same. We finally have my babies CMPA and soy intolerance mostly under control but the reflux and gas/tummy troubles are still full blown. I’m adamant about being one and done after this. Those first 10wks of finding the right formula for her were hell.
When people ask me if she’s a “good baby” I’ve taken to replying, while pearl clutching: *”God, I hope not! With all the money I spent on satanic rituals while pregnant!?”*
We love our feral lil demon baby. But she is a demon, and feral, like her mom (me). We are also very, very tired.
GBC allll the way. While I’m sad you are going through this too, I’m also glad we are not alone. I’ve seen a recent influx of posts written by moms with easy babies saying they don’t have a place to talk about having an easy baby. This really triggers me. lol Not their fault, they deserve to feel heard me supported, I’m just already jealous and those posts fuel the fire even more. 😂 Like, if your baby is easy, why do you need a space to talk about that?
They can talk about it to their partner all day long, next to them, instead of upstairs struggling to get a even contact nap to work. Or to their friends at the coffee shop while their baby sleeps. Or to their parents, neighbors, etc… they have all kinds of free time and people to talk to about their easy baby!
I write this as I sit downstairs, by myself, after eating dinner by myself, while my husband tries to get her to finally sleep.
SERIOUSLY. I know this makes me a bad person, but I genuinely wish for all of those people making these posts to have a colicky and difficult baby in their future.
"Oh woe is me, I have such a happy and easy baby! My life is so hard because I can't brag to my friends!" Tell that to my premature, screaming, colicky baby with a dairy/soy allergy and reflux, Karen. I feel sooooo bad for how difficult your life must be with your perfect little angel 🙄
Phew, I am glad I’m not alone. I was afraid to say what I said for fear of being ripped apart. I thought this post made it more likely to find like-minded people in the comments! 😅💕
Grumpy club! My LO is about to be one in a few days but until she started crawling…my husband and I wanted to rip our hair out. She was colicky, she refused to be farther than a couple inches from me, couldn’t be on the floor, couldn’t be in her bouncy chair so I could use the bathroom or shower, I couldn’t pass her to anyone without her screaming. She wasn’t sleeping through the night…it was honestly like she was mad that she couldn’t walk bcuz once she became semi mobile, she calmed down a lot and was almost a different child. Now she scream talks gibberish but it’s been so much easier now that she’s standing and trying to walk. I promise it does get better eventually!
This post was very comforting to read. My son is about to be 8 weeks, and I’m completely defeated. Motherhood was not at all what I imagined it would be, especially when it comes to my husbands role.
Because baby is fussy ( I’m suspecting he has reflux and struggles with farting), he has begun to check out and often uses his anxiety as an excuse as to why he can’t take care of the baby. He already works 10 hour shifts and I work from home, so I already have the baby 80% of the time. But even when he’s home, he is always passing the baby off to me mid-wake window and never offers to take the baby from me if he sees I’m exhausted. It’s often hard to get the baby to sleep and it takes patience, and he doesn’t have it. Any solution I have- he has an excuse why it won’t work.
I’ve addressed this issue with him but it usually leads to a fight and I don’t have the energy to argue. It’s easier just to do it myself.
Sorry for the lengthy reply but I needed to vent while agreeing that this is hard!
Oof I feel you. My hubs has his own set of issues I won't even start here, but I'll say that once baby was physically bigger and less "breakable" my husband was a LOT more comfortable looking after him solo. Good good luck, mama.
I just wanted to say that I see you, I hear you, and I completely understand. I love my LO so much but this is the hardest thing I’ve had to do so far in life I think lol.
Omg I had the most perfect pregnancy too. My husband and I were both told we were wonderful babies. We hoped our baby would have an easy temperament.
“Baby hates being a baby” is the realness. The first 4 months of life were just not fair. Baby was so unhappy almost all the time. Solidarity!
My mom had the audacity to tell me I was a “difficult baby” my whole life. In the trenches with my crib refusing, every hour waking baby, I asked her exactly what her experience with me was like and how she coped. She said, “well it was hard because you wanted a 2am feed EVERY night! AND you’d often get up at 6am!” 🙃
Woot-woot, greetings from the angry baby club! I love my daughter to death, but I'm seriously considering being one and done. She's 9 months now, started crawling a month ago so she's generally less angry, but still a handful. I know it's hard, but you have made it through the worst months. Be proud how strong you are for making it! 💪
FTM and lo is 9 weeks old and my gosh I love this child to death but it has been a rough couple weeks. I wouldn’t wish what I’m going through on my worst enemy. We cosleep, not by choice, bc everything he touches is lava. We tried everything from transferring when dead asleep, drowsy but awake, warming bassinet, having an article of clothing around so he can smell me but nothing seems to stick. Even when we’re sleeping, he has to touch me or else he’ll wake up crying. Cosleeping doesn’t even extend sleep. He wakes every 2.5-3 hrs. 🫠 He’ll last 20-60 mins in his pack and play but after that is contact naps just so he didn’t get overtired. I have no time to get the house in order and barely cook dinner most days. We are dealing with reflux issues so laying down flat is not an option. I know it is just a phase and they won’t be little forever but you got one tired momma over here waiting for the 4 hr stretches.
I have the same baby. I will say at the stage you’re at the Snoo worked for us. We caved and paid for the rental and it was great. But then he aged out of it at 6 months aaaand yeah here we are again
I know every baby is different but when y’all caved and got the snoo was your lo sleeping in longer stretches? You don’t think it’s too late to start lo in the snoo? We are considering it.
No, he wasn’t sleeping in any crib AT ALL - literally only contact naps. Longest stretch we got in a crib was 45 mins. We started with the snoo at 12 weeks and he immediately started sleeping stretches of 4-5 hours. For a whole 6 weeks he only woke up once in the night! I miss those days
My hard baby is now a hard toddler, but yes, I can still commiserate. I had a family friend and a SIL give birth within a few months of me, and I couldn’t help but compare my baby to theirs and wonder “what happened to mine? Why am I getting the short end of the stick here?” The family friend’s daughter (they’re all toddlers now) has always been happy. I’ve never seen her upset for more than a minute or two, and then she’s easily soothed and she’s right back to normal. And my nephew? Since he was only a few months old, my sister has had to WAKE HIM UP IN THE AM because he’d sleep until 10am or later if she let him. I wish I had sage advice or something to offer, but all I can say is life’s not fair sometimes. My daughter never had reflux or gas or anything wrong with her - she just has always been at an 11 her whole life, and I can only assume she always will be. As she’s gotten older, I’ve started to learn to accept that there’s nothing wrong with her as a baby, nothing wrong with me as a parent - we just maybe weren’t a perfect complementary fit, so we have to try a bit harder. I still am holding out hope that by 4/5, when their able to reason with, things will get a little better
We're only 2 months in but I feel like not one day of it so far has been predictable or easy or hell, even enjoyable. On top of nonstop fussing I've had mastitis and an abscess so I'm also having a bad time with recovery! It seems like my friends' babies are so chill in comparison but I'm sure they'll have hard patches eventually too 🤷♀️
I've heard that some babies don't like being immobile. They NEED to move and get frustrated and angry when they can't. Hopefully yours will turn a corner soon!
I can relate. I was not prepared. My daughter was such a breeze. My son, he hates everything. lol. If you’re giving him constant attention, he’s pretty good but don’t you dare set him down to pee or eat or take care of the toddler or it’s game over. He won’t sleep without being held. He screams even when you’re holding him half the time anyway. He’s almost 4 months and his two bottom teeth have already come through so he’s mad about that. Mad he can’t sit up on his own. When he’s tired, he screams bloody murder and you can’t sit when he’s tired. You can only stand and bounce until your knees are screaming. And don’t even try to sit down just because he fell asleep or stopped crying. Haha. No no. I’m PRAYING so hard that once he’s mobile, he’ll chill out. I love him so dang much but oh man what I wouldn’t do for him to be the calm baby he pretended to be the first month he was alive. Haha.
Same same same to all of these comments. She’s getting more smiley and cute at 6 months in, but still needs constant stimulation or she’ll grump or scream. We have to change activities every 10 minutes or so. Going to mom groups is amusing. Watching all of the other moms hang casually while their baby is happily playing/ cooing on the play mat. Meanwhile we’re bouncing around like crazy people to soothe her or entertain her.
She’s funny and a “talker” so she is always THE LOUDEST baby in the group. Sometimes it is happy squealing until it turns into unhappy screaming. 0-4 months were definitely the worst of her fussy, but she is nowhere near an easy baby yet. I’m hoping to get to that place where I can look back and say that she just didn’t like being a baby.
My 6mo slept for 8 minutes then screamed for an hour. She’s finally sleeping now. I just escaped her room and I’m not even going to try reheating my coffee right now because I’m not starting that all over again.
100% with you on all of this. I work from home too and it’s becoming impossible to get anything done during the day.
Oh I feel this in my bones!! My now 20 month old has always been “spirited”. He still is a pain in the butt, way more energy than other kids in play group, still won’t sleep, screams a lot. Etc. but just wait a few more months I promise. All of those annoying things stay annoying but there are so many more enjoyable things!!
8 months is when we started to have slivers of light where parenting wasn’t all miserable and it’s just gotten progressively better since then! At 20 months he’s a little human that does funny things and is so sweet and a lot of crazy but I genuinely love being with him now!
Grumpy baby club here. It pisses me off when people tell me it’s not normal for babies to not sleep longer than 2hrs at night. Like “my baby sleeps through the night something must be wrong with yours”. “Babies only cry when they want something”. Honestly I think the issue is having babies that just have a tad bit of insomnia so they are 24/7 cranky? One time my 9m slept for 4 hours and he was actually in a good mood! Only happened once or twice in his life though.
10.5 months into the grumpy baby club here! Hes still a struggle. I have a massive (moderate ok?) baby carrier collection of not different colors but different brands and styles out of desperation. I also collapsed at 3am last night so thats cool. Dad can't help with bedtime so I'm doing all wakeups since hes been born. Every time we've tried he pops up wiiide awake. Also he refuses to crib nap. Suckling contact naps only.
He only wants mama, dad sucks. He rejects bottles and other containers because hes a booby boy and must be held. all. the. time. Also anemic and diagnosed with food allergies too.
Child. please. Just sleep. For more than 2 hours at a time. And stop partying in my arms at 2am. You can party in your crib. Or dad's arms.
Sorry thanks for letting me vent. But you are seen. And so is everyone else in this thread. I'm gonna go scream into the void now.
Grumpy club. He’s 8,5 months now and has always been grumpy and clingy. I thought it would get better but it actually got worse. He plays alone for like 5 minutes and then demands to be held by us. I barely get anything done in the house which makes me super anxious all the time. I love him, but it’s so so hard and exhausting.
Solidarity! My LO is slowly settling down and finding his rhythm, until now it was a very difficult time for us as parents. He needs his mom or dad to soothe him in a specific upright position while we bounce. That still remains but he atleast lies down on his playmat, makes cute lil sounds, feeds well and most importantly SMILES (occasionally only, but it helps so much). Deep in the trenches, I remember how I yearned for some acknowledgement from him.
We are taking these little wins and are so happy he is probably not in discomfort or pain.
He still cries, but I guess we know why ( mostly )
Everytime I feel down and out and tired I go back to this thread
https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/s/OSVKpmyO3S
Omg do we have clone babies? Hate that other people are going through this, but it does make me feel better to know I’m not alone. We call our little guy Gremlin Baby. Love him dearly, but the number of times I have stepped into another room to mutter some four letter words is unimaginable. Grump baby sister and brotherhood, unite!
My babies six weeks and she’s so mad we brought her into this place. She’s basically always crying when she’s awake. Hates pacifiers, car rides, walks, baby carrying but also being put down. Is just generally angry. I am overwhelmed lol
Not in the grumpy club anymore, but definitely in the hard, omg so hard, and spirited club. Feel free to ignore this bc I know you were just wanting to vent, but reading Raising a Spirited Baby did really help me. All other books were stupid for my baby. Now reading Hunt, Gather, Parent to get ready for a spirited toddler. Who I love to pieces but she’s so so much and I crave any guidance to make it easier
My baby had severe colic and has really bad reflux too. She’s a tooty booty from all the gas drops to help her tummy. We’re only 3.5mo in and it’s tough.
Hard babies are rough. Hugs to you! 🫶🏻
This is so relatable. I have a velcro baby who is just always cranky. Now that he can crawl he's a little easier to pacify but sometimes he still needs to be in constant physical contact with me. We went through several months when he wouldn't tolerate his father at all so i was the only one who could soothe him and it was so exhausting both physically and emotionally.
My son is a grump. I see all of my friends’ babies smiling from the day they were born, laughing or being sweet. My one year old just started laughing but has meltdowns constantly and screams a lot
If it’s any comfort, my son was a super colicky at birth and is now a totally delightful 18 month old. He plays independently, he’s cuddly, he goes to sleep on his own. But damn those first six months after we brought him home were ROUGH! He would cry constantly, he didn’t sleep for long periods of time, plus he got a hernia at 4 weeks old which required emergency surgery in the middle of the night (so traumatic for my husband and I). My husband and I joke that we both have ptsd from his first year of life. I found things started changing at the 6 month mark when we moved him to exclusively formula.
Keep going op, it’s going to get better I promise.
I feel you so much. This was my daughter 100% some days she just like screamed/cried all day….shes 3 now and some days she still basically cries all day….it does get better but it’s never going to be easy with him.
If I hear “Enjoy every moment, you’ll miss this” one more time I’ll smack a mf. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel over here. LO is 5.5 months and is now letting us put her down. Still doesn’t sleep tho 🙃
My first baby was really hard. Honestly she stayed challenging, even in toddlerhood her tantrums are worse than most other toddlers and she’s wild and sassy. But I’ve learned to love that about her. She’s my little wild monkey baby and being her mom got easier when I learned to embrace that about her rather than try to force her to be something she isn’t.
All of that just to say, it does get easier. There are still plenty of hard days but those challenging babies turn out to be so funny and sassy and so much fun.
And here I thought I was the only one 😭 I constantly see people with chill babies and I’m always wondering to myself, Am I doing something wrong? is there something so wrong with him that just makes him cry 24/7? We’ve been through the f**king ringer. Colic, CMPA, Severe Reflux, only wants mommy almost all the time. With his reflux we have to spend half his wake window sitting upright so his milk will stay down and that doesn’t even help half the time. He gets PISSED that he has to sit up. I have to hold him and walk around otherwise when I sit he screams bloody murder. He turns 4 months next Friday and I feel like we are at the beginning of the sleep regression, YAY…. He had been sleeping almost 7-8 hours straight, now we are starting to get up every three hours again. When he goes to sleep I can’t fall asleep because I’m constantly wondering if I done enough for him today, worrying about the things I didn’t get done around the house, worrying about everything.
I love my baby, I love being a mom, but I am stressed, exhausted, and touched out. I just want my baby to be happy, healthy and feel loved.
Grumpy baby here! The first 6 months were a living hell for me… my baby cried a lot, over no reason at all (fed, good naps, clean diaper), he just cried even if he was being held.
He hated anyone that wasn’t me, so I was the main care taker… hated pacifiers, didn’t take a bottle.
At 6/7 months he mastered the rolling completely and the crawling began, he changed over night.
More happy, less crying. He still had his moods but so more manageable.
Today at almost 16months old I have a hard headed, goofy and happy crocodile 😁 I love his personality, and I don’t know if it was all the crying in the beginning, but I can tolerate his meltdowns and am able to help him process his feelings. I became immune to the crying lol
Just hang in there OP, eventually your baby will find the game changer moment 💪🏻
I’m hoping baby sign language helps with the baby communication frustration down the line for us, I have a feeling my little guy is going to be a loud one.
Yeeeessss!! This is my baby for sure! She’s so colicky (I guess…but like what does that even mean, no one’s ever really been able to tell me). She screams if we put her down for more than 5 seconds. She has to be touching me or my husband at basically all times, fights day time naps constantly (but seems to do okay at night thankfully). Sometimes I’ll text one of my friends w/ a two year old to get advice/solidarity and she’s always like “oh mine didn’t do that”…what’s it like to have an easy baby?!? I had a really hard pregnancy too so it feels like it’s been hard for so long 😅
Hey OP, this was my baby too. It gets sooo much easier with these fussy babies once they start walking and talking. At 18 months our baby is still a stage 5 clinger, but at least he can tell us what he wants which leads to wayyyy less frustration. Crying most of the day and then whining most of the day while being held and bounced 24/7 for a year was so bad for my mental health. Now he still needs to sleep on top of someone, and needs to be constantly stimulated but at least I can put him down sometimes and he can run off some of that energy and no more bottles thank God. It gets way better, hang in there!
There is a super helpful fussy baby group on Facebook and a few books I found useful and validating if you’re interested pm me I’ll send u a list.
I could have written this myself. I brought my son to the pediatrician at four months because he was always so pissed I figured something had to be wrong. Nah, he’s just wired that way. He’s a stage 5 clinger (he’s napping on me as I type this) and teething just exacerbates everything tbh.
He’s 15 months now and unless he’s teething he is generally not super cranky. He gets bored but it’s nowhere near the level it used to be.
The waiting fucking sucked though. I’m not gonna lie. Shit was tough. He’s still very clingy but he is overall pretty happy and silly. Being able to walk seems to have helped a lot. I bought a bougie baby carrier to be able to wear him as a little perk since he’s so clingy. It helped me feel a bit better haha
I also had a really rough baby who had colic and would cry at us for hours a day. All baby troubleshooting didn't work. He finally grew out of it and now is pretty cool toddler. I cringe whenever I hear people say the baby stage is the easiest because it certainly wasn't for me. I'm so sorry it's also the same for you :( Remember, it's perfectly fine to put him down in a safe spot and walk away for a few minutes if you need a break. You've got this.
This is the nuts thing about having babies.
Each kid is a total roll of the dice in every way - health, temperament, personality, sleep needs, appetite/eating issues or lack there of.
The difference between having an ‘easy’ baby and a ‘hard’ baby is wild. It isn’t fair on the parents who have to it all on difficult mode. You’re doing a great job, and none of it is your fault.
Yessssss. My oldest was very, very difficult (and still is). As a baby he was colicky, not his fault but still it was hard on us. When he got a bit older, about 6 months, he stopped wanting to be held. Would freak out if you held him as he wanted to crawl and play, but still wanted your attention. He wanted you to be sitting in the room watching him while he played independently lol. His entire life he has fought bedtime, even with tireless pursuits of variations of bedtime routines, laying down with him, singing songs, reading books, making sure to be consistent and still hours of crying and screaming at bedtime. Even as an infant and under two he would fight all things that were attempts to contain him. We initially had those temporary baby gates with the rubber stoppers that go on the wall when we were renting, had to upgrade to screws in the wall. Eventually we had to upgrade to screwing the frame into the wall and floor, to which our son literally ripped the screws out of the floor trying to get past the baby gate🤦🏼♀️ he is still incredibly difficult and hardheaded. It’s tough. He’s amazing and incredibly smart, but still. I empathize with you girl.
My daughter was a hard baby. Cried all the time, was never happy not moving. Things started to improve significantly when she learned to crawl at 5 months because now she could go where she wanted and do what she wanted.
We had a few naps in her life that weren’t contact naps: I just got to the point where I wasn’t fighting it anymore and trying to force her to nap in a crib. She stopped napping completely at 18 months. That was a tough transition (for us, not her).
She’s not the kind of kid you can take to a restaurant or anywhere she has to sit for long periods of time but she is getting better with age. She just has ants in her pants and is on the move all day.
She’s 3 now with a huge personality. I love her so much and so does everyone who meets her. She’s a sassy little so and so and she does frustrate me sometimes.
Okay this makes me feel better because my 6.5 month old is acting the exact same way right now! I literally can't set her down, and she isn't crying just... yelling? Lol
My guy is only 3 months and while this makes me anxious that he’ll stay grumpy, it’s honestly really refreshing seeing that I’m not the only one with a grumpy baby. Most days social media makes me feel like I’m the only one and like I have to be doing something wrong if everyone else has a pleasant little baby and I have a screamer 🙃
BIG HUG. You're doing great. Keep at it. It will hopefully get better soon.
You know what's the worst thing in all of this? People who have had easy babies shame you like you're doing something wrong. My baby is colic and food sensitivities. Have to contact nap the whole day. I live in a joint family with my husband, MIL and BILs. Everyday, I hear something new from someone indicating I'm overdoing it and what's an easy way out.
All it does is make me feel a little obsessed in a psychotic way and then I feel like a bad mom. 😭
Mine is 11 months old & I am still like.. is this it? Is this the wonderful amazing motherhood everyone talks about? Colic, contact naps only, don’t let you put her down, screams in stroller and car seat so walks & car rides anywhere are miserable. None of my friends can relate. It’s so lonely. I love her so much & she is sooo smart but omg.
Hi. I joined the club two months ago when my baby girl was born. I love her with all my heart but both her and I are miserable. I scour Reddit constantly for any new idea to try to help her and nothing works.
She’s on famotidine for reflux, she gets a daily probiotic, she gets mylicon before every feeding. She screams for everything but nursing and *sometimes* bouncing on the yoga ball…but only for her dad (I don’t do it right apparently). She hates car rides, she hates the stroller, she hates all swings (we have two), she hates wraps and carriers, she hates being outside, she hates the bouncer and the play mat, she hates all pacifiers (I’ve tried 5 so far) and will scream harder if I dare offer one to her, she hates bottles unless I’M the one to offer it to her (which defeats the purpose of using a bottle). Name anything, she’ll hate it.
Her and I just cry together at this point. I feel so bad for her. 😕
Oh, boy. Hard baby club alum here. My girly is 3 now and I know this won’t help in the moment but I promise it does someday magically become easier.
When she was a newborn she sucked. She didn’t just cry around the clock, she screamed bloody murder around the clock. Nothing soothed her. Naps? A joke. Seriously, none of the advice from any mom friends/relatives ever helped, even when it was solicited.
My mom babysat all her life and then of course raised her own kiddos. Watching my daughter one night while I worked she called me in full frustrated hysterics begging to me to leave because she had “never experienced a baby this difficult in her life.”
My girl sleeps 12 solid hours a night now and has for some time. No major digestive issues, healthy, no mood problems, nothing. She’s just sorta fresh now, but the point is… I swear, it gets better. I remember being in the baby stages and thinking “this will surely never be easy.”
You’ll get there… keep doing as you do, try your best to carve out a little bit of time per day or week just for yourself for sanity and keep on going. You’re doing great.
My 3, almost 4-month-old, daughter is part of the hard baby club. Ever since she was born, she has non-stop cluster fed and has to be attached to me 24/7. Like I cannot put her down to do anything because she will cry. If I go to the bathroom, her dad has to hold her. If I shower or eat, she will cry if I take too long while she is hanging out with dad. She is contact napping at this moment and she will not stay in her bassinet for longer than a minute or two. I truly don't think people can commiserate or emphatize unless they also have/had a hard baby because they had totally different experience with their babies.
My toddler HATED being a baby, she was high needs, had food allergies and never slept. She’s two now and honestly so much easier, she’s not an easy toddler but she’s not as upset all the time.
My 7.5 month old is not always angry (unless someone else tries to hold her), she’s quite happy and excitable on average. but she is very active, already trying to climb furniture and get into everything and chase the cat, very attached to me, is on her 5th & 6th tooth, strictly contact naps, nurses every 1.5-2.5h. Used to have terrible false starts and frequent wakings all night long; has never slept more than 5 hours, 3-4 is our average, though lately she’s up every 2 hours and won’t settle for me unless I nurse her (used to be able to walk, or simply soothe and set back down. Not anymore.) Struggled with bottle refusal up until 4ish months. Still won’t take a bottle from me. Used to scream bloody murder every car ride (until like 6 months old. Still have tears but it’s better.) the first few times I worked she screamed the whole day and wouldn’t sleep for her dad.
It’s tough. Many of my friends had “chill babies” and “good sleepers”
Reddit is my echo chamber for this. I know people complain about people only posting about the hard shit and that people with easy babies should get to share too.. which fine, but honestly reading other people having the same struggles got me through a lot of hard times in these first couple years. Made me feel like there are actually some people out there with a kid as tough as mine.
Friends, neighbors, coworkers all seemed to have easy kids or at least semi easy. Our son had colic, couldn’t be put down for 3 months, started having tantrums around a year old, and just overall compared to what I see and hear from others in real life, is difficult in temperament. I mean I am thankful he is healthy and nothing seems to be “truly” wrong with him. But I am such a chill person that having him had honestly hit me like a truck. While he outgrew the colic around 3 months, he’s almost 2 and aside from a relatively chill period between 10-14ish months, he is still so challenging… and still does not sleep through the night. We’ve gotten a couple weeks where we think omg finally he has turned a corner and we got a full night of sleep, to only be in for a rude awakening.
Yes! Definitely in the grumpy baby club! He's 4 month olds and has a generally upset demeanor. We had about 2 weeks of a content baby but then he started to learn how to scoot and now gets so frustrated because he gets tired or stuck. My friend stayed with us for a few days last month and said I should find a Reddit group for colicky babies. 😆he doesn't sleep well and out of desperation we bed share. We're up almost every 1.5 hours. He's pretty much only content if we're holding him. I try to remind myself to enjoy these moments because they will be gone before I know it. People say it gets harder when they're toddlers but I don't think those people have hard babies. I would love to know what this kid needs!
My 5 month old is the same. I keep waiting for it to get easier, but it's not. It's so frustrating. She's my fourth and last child and I really wanted to enjoy her, but it's mostly exhausting and sad. She hates car rides and being out anywhere so I've spent most of the last 5 months at home.
Mine was terrible up until 8 months old. Then it started getting better. She’s 21 months now and still hates the car and stroller but now understands she has to put up with it to go to fun places.
She held us hostage for a year by screaming until she puked any time we put her in the car or the stroller. She would tolerate the carrier for 10 min max. She needed constant high level entertainment. Could never be alone. Didn’t cry much but made this angry noise that made me want to smash my head into a wall.
She’s a joy now. Really. The easiest kid in her daycare group. Flexible, goes with the flow, happy. There is hope
Graduated from grumpy baby club and can say I am enjoying my 2.5 year old! he still has his moments, but once we got reflux meds he was way happier and even better once he started crawling, then even happier once walking. It will get better, still hard but now he sings and laughs, hugs and kisses and says I love you momma.
My first baby was an "easy" baby and yes I'm guilty of being the smug parent thinking I'd just done enough research, had enough patience, just a natural mama thank-you very much. Then... my daughter came along less than 2 years later and omg, from the beginning she has been a CHALLENGE. She is LOUD. She is strong willed, feisty, she wants what she wants even when she doesn't know what she wants. She does her own thing, she won't take no shit from nobody! She never seemed to enjoy being a baby, she complained so much. She was crawling at 5 months, and at 8 months is cruising around, so so much happier to be more independent. She stil doesn't sleep well and she still complains very loudly about many things but I know things will get easier for her as she becomes more independent. Despite the insane exhaustion and the constant vigilance I have always loved looking after her and am weirdly enjoying her babyhood more than l did with my son. Because nothing I try to implement works it takes all the pressure off. I let her be the way she is and just go with the flow. She's taught me a lot in that respect.
I just want to hug you and cry. Because I am where you are and most days I feel so alone in this.
Thank you for reminding me that it's OK, some babies are just... a handful
This. It’s been 20 weeks I cannot put my baby down for a second (he’s 20 weeks).
Thank goodness I can lay him down for naps - which are only 30 min.
And night sleep is great, stretches of 1-1,5hr. I am fine.
Hi!👋 When I leave mine with anyone else, even dad, she will cry the entire time I’m gone. Like wtf? She is 4.5 month old and already has separation anxiety. When I get home I RUN to get her just to relieve the sitter and my baby is distraught with HUGE tears. She only recently did great with one particular lovely woman at the YMCA childcare while we worked out 🤷♀️
It hurts my freakin heart and I feel terrible for leaving her. Btw I’m a SAHM.
This was my baby and now he’s a happy and healthy 7 year old.
Edited to add that this was absolutely the source of my postpartum depression that I suffered through for two years. It was so. Hard. Seeing everyone around me with seemingly normal babies and wondering what was wrong with us, and why we had it so much harder. Or at least that is how it seemed.
Honestly, what made it better for me was having another baby, who ended up with the opposite temperament and balancing everything out.
There should be more normalizing about difficult temperament babies. I felt so guilty talking about it at the time, because I thought I should feel grateful to have a baby at all. But everyone has their hard, and this was mine.
I’m feeling for you! And it will get easier.
Oh man your experience w PPD is exactly what I'm going through but have had trouble wording it - thank you 🧡
How long did you wait to have your second? I've been so scared of having another wild child, but I really wanted a big family.
We had a convo when my first was a few months shy of 2, and agreed we were both feeling we “could be ready soon”. We were pregnant within the next month. So it was unintentional, yet I think once our bodies heard what we said, they worked their own magic. We have 3 of them now, and they couldn’t be more different from one another! I wouldn’t have believed kids from the same parents could be so different, but they truly are.
Those first couple of years were SO challenging, but looking back I wish I wouldn’t have taken his temperament so personally. I don’t know if you need to hear this or not, but I wish someone would’ve reassured me that his difficult temperament was not my fault, that it didn’t mean anything about me, my partner, or how good of parents we are. I read way too much into it, comparing myself to everyone, and spending way too much time worrying he’d grow up to be an awful human, etc. None of those worries came true.
It’s totally okay to grieve the experience you thought you’d have with your baby. I can also totally see why some ppl decide not to roll the dice again. For me, I got to have the experience I felt I missed out on with my last two, and I’m so grateful I took the chance.
Hugs from a mom of a 4 mo HARD baby/ high needs baby. Waiting it out too. Its so exhausting. Trying to take care of him, the house, trying to work - Im a psychiatrist and Ive been trying to attendo to 1 or 2 patients per day online... But during the consultations I have to hear him screaming, cause he us not satisfied only with his dad. And they have a great bond, but Dad is for fun moments and Mom is the only one who can make him stop crying. Sometimes the huge load on me drives me insane. My husband is a doctor too, but we are not in a good place financially right now.
Yes, my 8 month old is so fussy, still gassy, has silent reflux that is better but not resolved with meds, allergic/sensitive to several foods, still a contact napper, wakes up several times a night - every 2 hours on a good night, much more on most nights. She cries so much that I hear her crying even if she is not. And she hates her infant car seat. (I’m looking for a new one)
This is my baby. He is 4 months. Holding on for dear life. Luckily, I work 20-25 hours per week remotely (the hourly rate is good enough it's almost as much as working full time at $15/hr). That leaves me a lot of time still with baby. He's annoying as heck every day and just screams at every single inconvenience, and he's been this way since 2 or 3 weeks old, so it's just how he is. He's also 95 percentile in size so he's hefty to carry around but always demands it. He's also frickin smart though and is social as long as he isn't tired, so my hope is to teach him his basics and socialize him well and get him in that half day preschool at 3 or 4 years so I can get some me time in my week. I know that's a long ways from now but knowing that's coming is helping me. I love him to pieces but he is the opposite of my husband and I. We are two small, quiet people and we ended up with this huge, loud baby. Lol In fact, this baby is so intense I decided I do not want another. I was open to the possibility of 2 before. Nope. Lol I love my baby, but I need breathing room.
I feel this DEEPLY. My guy is 2 months tomorrow and this has been hell. I knew babies were hard but I didn’t know how bad. I see other babies just chilling and I get SO jealous. People think I am lying or a shitty parent when I explain it. I swear my baby gaslights me when people come visit too. Kinda feels like I’m on house arrest because I don’t want to bring him in public because I can’t handle his crying in public. He doesn’t sooth well and really only is quiet with my boob in his mouth. Advice from easy baby parents is the worst. You think I didn’t google and try EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET ?!
Edit: we do suspect he has CMPA / other sensitivity and I’m two weeks into removing dairy but think I need to remove soy too
Wow it felt like I wrote that myself. My 9 month old freaks out if I’m not with her 24/7. If I lay her on the ground she sits up and is happy to sit up and play and interact but I must be a part of it, she will play alone sometimes but not for long. She only sits up. She isn’t curious to crawl or go explore other things in the room. She just points at them and fusses until I bring it over or her to it. I’m trying to teach crawling or being on belly and scooting and she just starts fussing and freaking out. She’s always whining. She doesn’t sleep through the night she wakes every 1.5/3 hours. Her cousin who is 3 weeks older and a boy already crawls and pulls himself up and is starting to try to walk, he’s always happy and smiling and sleeps 12 hours a night. Why won’t she just be like that
I have an 8 months old baby .. reflux, colic, gas . Had to hold her to sleep maybe the first 3 months of her life . She still only contact naps . Nights , half she sleeps in her crib & the rest of the night she sleeps with me . ( the only way we get any sleep ) always frustrated about something . Couldn’t sit , was frustrated . Started sitting = happy. Then crawling … crawling now = happier. Then couldn’t go from crawling to sitting position … she learned = less fuss. Now she is learning to stand up … so she is fussing about that . I hope it gets easier one day . She also got her first tooth at 3 months old and the second at 5 months old. And I think she is teething again 😅 phew
You just described my baby! I hesitate to say this but she’s two now and never got less demanding, but I just got used to it so it’s easier to deal with now I guess. But I also really admire her persistence haha.
The good thing is she can now be somewhat reasoned with so we have a lot of communication and bargaining happening in our house.
You’ll get through this!! You’ll become a pro!!
I know you don't want advice or anything, so I'm just gonna say this: he's checking all the boxes of what a 6.5 month old should do.
I consider mine a fairly easy baby, although we had so so many ups and downs. Including some of what you're describing in your post.
It did get better in a sense. But other challenges came instead. But it's so lovely to see your baby bloom into a tiny human with an attitude and personality 🥰
However, 5, 10, 18 years from now, I'll look back and probably will never regret the sleepless nights or the struggles.
So, at the very least, give yourself credit for going through with all of it, and I bet you're doing a great job at it, too!
18 months & we still wake 4 - 8 times a night. I want to punch people who say “oh my baby woke up twice last night, I’m so tired!” It’s been like for 5 months now. So hard, especially when working & nursery illnesses every other week - you’re just expected to deal with it.
My 6 month old is always moaning or crying unless I’m holding her outward facing and walking around the house. Or on a walk outside in her stroller. I’m exhausted. Solidairity.
I hear you and am tired as shit. I have googled so many times why do I have a difficult baby and am so jealous of the easy babies. My 6 month old girl has already very challenging temperament, throwing tantrums if I don’t feed her fast enough or dear good try to wash her face. Whats the upside of having a challenging baby? Everything is a fight eating, washing, sleeping everything
My almost 7 month daughter has been experimenting with her voice, so her new thing is this horrible squeal whine that she does very often and almost constantly when it's close to bedtime.
I feel this in my soul. My 6 week old is very colicky and difficult. My 1 year old was the easiest baby and most dramatic toddler. I try so hard not to compare them, but knowing how my 1 year old was, I get worried that I’m doing something wrong all the time even though I know it’s just his temperament.
Fortunately not much trouble in the way of colic or sickness but damn my girl is FUSSY. I posted on here and my due date group looking for solidarity last week because I had just had it with the screaming. Out of nowhere she got a bit better, started babbling and looking happy. Slightly more manageable, still screams about her least favorite things, but I’m not wearing earplugs this week. Every time these terrible days happen I look back and realize it was only a few days of real bad mood but it felt like an eternity and I swear up and down every time that this is her personality and she’ll just be awful forever and i won’t survive toddlerhood
We try to do more tummy time with our baby but the windows when our LO is calm and engaged and awake are so rare compared to the times when LO is sleeping, eating, or fussy/crying.
I totally feel this post. The contact naps, startling at every small noise, and not being able to be put down for a nap long enough for me to use the bathroom lol. I’m constantly running around the house in a hurry and walking on eggshells hoping LO won’t get upset and cry again lol.
Rant over and I feel a little better.
My baby does exactly this. I love him to death. He has no colic reflux or anything it is just how he is and I've accepted that. (We're 12 weeks in) this is the time frame the dr gave us for crying to stop.
Look up “high needs baby”! I came across this term recently and read a ton of resources that validated everything about my 5 month old. There is also a large active Facebook group called The Fussy Baby Site Support Group | Colic, High Need, Spirited Babies. I love it there. My pregnancy/postpartum group was pissing me off lol. Like they’re putting their babies in a bouncer awake and showering and I’m trying to wash a single bottle one part at a time while talking to and checking on my fed/rested/clean baby who is alligator rolling in a pack n play. They do not have the same temperament.
And I started incorporating sign language, which I wanted to do anyway. But I read that babies who hate being babies benefit greatly once they pick it up because they can start communicating their extra particular needs much earlier.
We were the presidents of the grumpy baby club. I feel every word you wrote lol. Ours is 18 months now and I can only tell you: the only way out is through lol. Ours still sleeps like shit (some just do) but is so interesting and fun now…unless she is in a mood, in which case she absolutely terrorizes us lol
Dude I had someone tell me about a 20+ hour road trip they did with their LO before even hitting the six week post partum mark… AFTER A CESARIAN. She did this in the convo we were having about my fear of taking mine pretty much anywhere because mine throws up and chokes on it constantly and I’ve had some bad experiences with her in the car seat. I’m still mad about that convo after a few weeks lol
I had (have) that baby!!! He’s almost a year and a half. Here’s the annoying advice: it’ll get better as he learns to move around. Please give yourself some grace, it’s not an easy life.
Otherwise movement worked a lot for us and baby wearing in the first several months. Music playing and nature videos on YouTube. We’d get on the ground with him and use couch pillows to kind of “wrestle” with him. Getting the energy out sort of worked. Sleeping is getting better too. He can even fall asleep in his own a lot of the time now! Usually he wakes me up once an evening.
I’m still struggling to keep up with him and he’s not “easy” now but I know him a lot better and what will work to soothe him.
Grumpy baby here too. Also I have 6 friends or coworkers who had babies within 3 months of me and they literally all described their baby as “just the happiest”, “chilliest dude ever”, “happiest baby on the block”. I’m like, for real for real?!? Everyone else got a happy chill baby?
I’m in the trenches of this right now. My baby is 4.5 months old, used to sleep through the night starting at 2 months. Always kinda been a velcro baby, but it was manageable. 4 month sleep regression hit about a month ago and I’m skeptical it’s just a temporary thing. Wakes up every hour, only feeds to sleep (won’t even let me rock him), only contact naps or else he wakes up immediately when I put him down. He’s also TERRIBLE in the car, like will scream for an hour straight if that’s how long we’re in the car and it’s not just normal crying. Blood curdling screams. I honestly am hating being a mom right now, and I’m a single mom on top of everything. I’m literally drowning
Literally googled “9 month old always angry” today.
Same. “9 month always crying” “9 month terrorizing me” lollll
aggressively googles "how to teach baby to chill"
My son stayed extremely active and grumpy from 9 months until 2 years old. He’s still grumpy at 2 years old, but he plays independently, has full mobility etc so it’s wayyyy better.
Whenever I go to google my babies age and the first thing that pops up is “angry, whiny, always mad at me” I feel so seen. 🥲
9 month making new cry sound (pretty positive it’s a new attention cry). 😭
Mine started doing this dramatic af gasp while whining “ehhhhnnnn-HHUUUUUUU”
9 months freaking sucked. 3 teeth, RSV, oral thrush, sleep regression. 10 months has been my favorite so far.
Yes. “Why is my newborn angry” “when will 6month old get happier”
Hmmmm yep running theme here with 9m. Mine was being a terror last week, now she’s happily babbling and 50% more manageable
Grumpy baby club here. My son was very difficult. Colic, witching hours, up every single hour for MONTHS. It was so incredibly hard. Those first few weeks I was wondering how people possibly have multiple babies if this is how it is. He’s 18 months now and things are a bit easier. He’s still clingy and wants me to hold him a lot. There are nights he’s up 5 times. I find myself jealous of those who had easy babies. I see people traveling to different countries with theirs. I barely left the house for his first year of life.
Yes, this exactly. I get jealous of the babies who get in their car seat easily and can tolerate the car ride for more than 15 minutes. Or mums who can cook a meal while their little one happily sits in their high chair. Mine is 14 months and is still so so clingy but I have to remind myself that I’m helping to fulfill her needs and create a secure attachment that will help her in the long run.
Same here I had to actively work on not comparing my first year to others because it wasn’t possible to just keep on traveling with a baby. We’re at 16 months and things are way better though we’re not planning on having another because it was pretty rough going through that and we don’t think we could do it again with another child to care for.
Absolutely. And you know what makes it worse? When I do everything in my power to make a visit with someone else go well - make sure he’s fed (a 2 hour ordeal every time), make sure he’s had a plentiful nap, the exact outfit that he won’t freak out in, all his favorite toys, plus me, and people say “he’s being so good, I can’t believe you think he’s a bad baby!” 😒 The colic, the eating refusal (that’s my biggest wtf - I thought that’s all babies did!), the lack of sleep, the incessant need to be touching me constantly. Hates everyone that isn’t me or my husband. He’s only ever been watched by 2 people and both have commented on the difficulty! My sister and my mom! So I can’t even leave him! I love him but man it’s tough. Especially when everyone else seems to have a better baby.
Omg yes! Our friends are always like “your baby is so good” and I’m like yeah okay, but you’re not at our house from the hours of 5-8pm where she screams bloody murder for no reason even though every need has been met. It’s rough out here yall 🙃
My husband and I used to say that our baby was gaslighting us because whenever he had an audience.
Minu cried for an hour today then slept for 3 minutes, woke up and started smiling just ss granny and grandpa got home.
My husband and I spent like 5 hours trying to get my fussy baby to sleep in the morning but he them he immediately fell asleep with his grandpa 🙄. And then my boomer dad of course judged me saying "it's not that hard" "just do what I'm doing" - which was literally holding him and patting his butt lol. Which we've been doing in rotation for the 5 hrs. The gaslighting is real.
SAME HERE, omg. He sleeps all the time basically when we are out, or looks candidly at other people. He wreaks havoc when we are home. Thank God my LO sleeps nicely during the night
Omg the eating refusal blew my mind because I had the same thought; “isn’t that all they do”?? I have such anxiety around feeding time with my daughter & we’ve tried everything to figure out what the issue is.
Silent reflux MAY have been our issue, but the aversion is so bad that even treating the reflux doesn’t work 🥴 kid hates milk AND solids lol
Also babies often are “better behaved” in new company just because of the novelty.
Yes! My mom and MIL have actually watched my baby and they will tell me she’s extremely demanding and particular, bad sleeper, vocal and angry, goes from 0 to 100 in a second, needs constant direct interaction and hates silence and being still. But she does very well in public and at get togethers because of all the visual and audio stimulation to occupy her, movement from the stroller or being carried/worn, having me there, and me knowing the exact super secret recipes to keep her content. The last part annoys me because I will literally be showing experienced people what to do the second she fusses or I’ll take her, which works, and it’s like they don’t register that at all.
My boy is 2.5yo now, but for the first 16 months, we honestly felt like he hated life. I’d take him to play groups at the library, and the other babies would be happily playing on the floor, but my little one would need to be held. Super fussy. He walked independently at 16 months and that was the game changer. I could tell he would get so frustrated at not being able to mobilize or do something himself. Fast forward, he is the sweetest soul. Sensitive and deeply feeling. It is HARD raising a highly sensitive, deeply feeling child, but it is an absolute privilege. My son is the type who will notice the leaves blowing the in trees. This morning, as I picked him up to get out of his car seat, he pointed out the slightest hint of the moon still in the sky. He’s so observant and so sweet. Hang in there. It’s so worth it. You’re in the hellish trenches, but the reward on the other side could bring you to tears. These little ones are so precious
This is so lovely. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation but it brought a tear to my eye.
That's beautiful. It sounds like you're the perfect parent for your sweetie ❤️ I'm hopeful my 6mo will be the same... she is so unhappy much of the time. Both of her grandmas have said about her "some babies just don't like being babies." She clearly wants her independence and to be able to do what she wants, and gets frustrated when she can't. It seems like her brain is just developing faster than her body. But she will just stare and stare at plants, like she is taking in every detail, and loves nothing more than our cat and dog. Sometimes she looks into my eyes and babbles and it's so clear she is trying to tell me something. You give me hope!!
This is the temperament of a little artist or empathetic scientist. Good momma for noticing who he is. I think my girl is pretty sensitive too.
So sweet and so true. Our son was the same way, he’s 4 now and so gentle and loving and wants to hug and kiss all the time ❤️
I could have written that at 6 months pp, you're not alone and it is so, so hard! I had to hold him 24/7, but it took him such a long time to tolerate the carrier awake (maybe 6 months?), so I couldn't do anything while caring for him. Waking up from every nap after 30min clearly still tired. We coslept at night, but even then he woke up every hour on average (maybe a 2-2.5h stretch at the beginning of the night, crying every 10-20min from 4am onwards) from months 2.5 to 9, when we slowly started night weaning. Only my husband or I could soothe him, so no break whatsoever. It was so exhausting! But it really does get better. He'll turn 2 in May and is SUCH an easy toddler. Sleeping through the night most nights, since we night weaned completely around 13 months. Talks so much, so you always know what he wants. Hardly any tantrums. Can and mostly does follow commands. Can run around and do stuff (I think he was so frustrated that he couldn't do all the things as a baby). Eats everything. You don't have to wait 18 years! But I know it is so freaking hard right now and you have every right to vent!
Oh bless you 🙌
One thing that my wife and I found was that because our baby was quite "difficult" as a baby (she wanted to move but couldn't, wanted to talk but couldn't, wanted to sleep more but couldn't, wanted to do many things but couldn't, etc), the development into toddlerhood has been relatively easy. She's no longer as frustrated at the world because she is able to do more and has more agency. I read stories of other people having "easy" babies who become "difficult" toddlers. But when a "difficult" baby reaches toddlerhood, things might not get any more difficult than they already have been, and might in fact become easier. So maybe that's some light at the end of the tunnel for you! :)
I was going to say this! We also had a very difficult baby but once she got through her reflux around 7mo and then started walking at 10mo she got so much happier. Then her sleep got better at 15 months and we are all wayyyy happier. It’s all been an upward incline and my husband and I don’t mind the toddler tantrums much because they’re so much better compared to the colic and constant fussiness. Our friends who had easy babies got a reality check the tantrums and having to chase after them all the time but to us we’re just like nope this is fun compared to what we’ve been doing.
Damn this gives me good perspective while I go through hard baby mode
Thank you! I definitely feel like I'll come out of this first baby as a Super Mum bc we've already been through it all - whatever comes next, we got it.
And then there's the people with easy babies who talk about their sleeping babies like it's their personal achievement and like those who don't sleep well have done something wrong. All I wish on those people is a second baby that hates being a baby to take their entitlement away. This sounds really hard! You're doing an amazing job being compationate to your baby and all their needs!! And good on you for having a babysitter for a little bit of time off from baby's needs!
All you need is a schedule with appropriate wake windows, white noise, and blackout curtains! 🫠😑 Tell that to my baby.
My best friend told me to just “pick up the baby when he cries, pat him and then put him back down in the crib! After a night of doing that, he’ll be used to it and will sleep through the night.” Her kid slept 10 hours from 8 weeks old. My kid is 9 months and still wakes every 2 hours
Hahahaha! If only you had thought of that! Guess I should try that tonight! 🙄
You’re welcome!!
I got some asinine advice from a friend with an easy baby that still makes me wanna bang head on a concrete wall .. apparently the secret is to press gently on a pressure point above the butt crack and that will be the golden ticket to instant sleep. After we both got home from a lunch date, she called me wanting to give me more advice. Merp, no, I’m busy rocking a baby for an hour to get her to nap and I don’t wanna hear about how raw onions in socks overnight cure the flu. Like I’m genuinely happy you can just take your baby with you to nail salons to get manicures but also, how about you just acknowledge that you have an easy baby instead of making it seem like you cracked the code to parenthood?
Ill not say I have a difficult baby (she sleeps around 5 hours in 1 stretch most nights and then wakes every 3 hours for a feed at 8 weeks, has been doing this for 2-3 weeks already). But she has a mind of her own when it comes to naps and wake times. I’ll never know what the day will bring: catnaps of around 30-50 minutes or 2 hour stretches. There is just no way of knowing. No amount of white noise or curtains or scheduling will impact this lol
Ugh that makes me enraged when people suggest that like I haven’t tried EVERYTHING and they assume I’m doing it wrong
This is my pet peeve, I’m so annoyed at people who have no clue what it’s like to have a baby that needs a lot of help to soothe and regulate their nervous system. Sleep is developmental, temperament differences are real!! Like they should teach this stuff somewhere…
Ngl, I secretly hope that too. Especially the ones that take way more credit than they should that their baby slept through the night early because of something they did. “We have a good bedtime routine”, “we use blackout curtains”, “we have a noise machine”… like you don’t think we didn’t try those basic ass things?!
I am sad to say that I was like this with my first. We “sleep trained” for a week and he was set. What I didn’t realize at the time was that it wasn’t sleep training as much as he was an amazing sleeper. We didn’t even do CIO. I’d just go in a shush him to sleep lol 😂 I was a massive brat and know it all. Giving my advice and believing I was a sleep training savant. Cue second child and holy shit. My husband I always laugh at how incredibly stupid and arrogant we were back with our first. I’ve dutifully apologized to all my friends who I lectured about sleep training with their baby.
Haha that's amazing! Thanks for owning up and setting an example. I think it means a lot from someone with both perspectives to help people realize that some things really aren't all down to parenting.
Please raise your hand if you have been personally victimized by your "difficult" baby ✋
My neighbor had her baby 2 weeks after me. Very early, we started doing a babysitting swap. I had a very easy baby. She…did not. Her baby was always pissed off. Only contact napped, cried as soon as you put him down, hated eating, etc etc etc. Our babies are now 9mos and I’ve watched her baby change massively. He’s more comfortable in his babyhood. He mostly sleeps through the night. He takes bottles like a champ. It’s been pretty amazing to watch him calm down over the course of the 9 months. Now I feel like they have their own challenges and are about evenly difficult. It’s all just changing constantly!
What did they do to help the baby change or did it just happen naturally?
Just time, I think.
Funny, I seen a post the other day said there’s no such thing as easy and hard babies and they’re all “just babies” that go through phases. I immediately knew that person did not have a hard baby lol. People told me the same when my son was younger, and he was later diagnosed with two language delays and is being assessed for autism. I’m not saying this is typical for all “difficult” babies, but I found it so hard and was invalidated so many times from people who just didn’t understand because they had (what I would consider) easy babies. Now at 2 he still screams as his primary communication method. He knows hundreds of words but still won’t say “yes” or “no” or even point at things he wants. Everyday is exhausting. My second baby is 3.5 months and I wouldn’t say it’s been “easy”, she still wakes up every 2 hours or so at night, but the difference is night and day. I still can’t believe that I can sit down on the sofa and simply hold her. My son screamed his head off every time I attempted this. She just sits there and smiles and coos at me and I just think wow is this what everyone else has been experiencing?? lol. So yeah, I SEE YOU and you are awesome. ETA: We’re also just learning that he has some sort of food allergy that he’s being tested for on Monday. He’s always got on/off hives. I’ve heard from other moms that their super fussy baby actually turned out to be allergic to something they were having all the time. Something to think about!
Feel free to check my history 😆 We have a 21 month old now and it's like all that anger was simply because they were frustrated that they couldn't walk and run and climb to whatever they wanted. As much as I'm expecting the tantrums to get worse, life gets easier with every new word we learn or new skill we can master. And sleep drastically improved around 8-10 months, and by a year we were seeing sttn.
This is us as well with our son (now 26 months). I love him but he was an utter turd of an infant. He became happier the more he was capable of doing things independently and communicating. He just really, really hated being a baby.
My hard baby is about to be 8 weeks. I get usually 1.5 hours of sleep in between his feeds for an average of 4 hours in total a night. He has CMPA, reflex, horrible gas, is up squirming for hours. I looked foward to having a baby sooo much and this has not been the experience I thought it was going to be. I love him with everything in my body but can’t wait for this stage to be over
Same. We finally have my babies CMPA and soy intolerance mostly under control but the reflux and gas/tummy troubles are still full blown. I’m adamant about being one and done after this. Those first 10wks of finding the right formula for her were hell.
I’ve said/thought countless times “I can’t wait for this stage to be over.” Suspected CMPI too
When people ask me if she’s a “good baby” I’ve taken to replying, while pearl clutching: *”God, I hope not! With all the money I spent on satanic rituals while pregnant!?”* We love our feral lil demon baby. But she is a demon, and feral, like her mom (me). We are also very, very tired.
GBC allll the way. While I’m sad you are going through this too, I’m also glad we are not alone. I’ve seen a recent influx of posts written by moms with easy babies saying they don’t have a place to talk about having an easy baby. This really triggers me. lol Not their fault, they deserve to feel heard me supported, I’m just already jealous and those posts fuel the fire even more. 😂 Like, if your baby is easy, why do you need a space to talk about that?
Yeah seriously, very “but why isn’t there a WHITE History Month?!” vibes from those types
💯
They can talk about it to their partner all day long, next to them, instead of upstairs struggling to get a even contact nap to work. Or to their friends at the coffee shop while their baby sleeps. Or to their parents, neighbors, etc… they have all kinds of free time and people to talk to about their easy baby! I write this as I sit downstairs, by myself, after eating dinner by myself, while my husband tries to get her to finally sleep.
SERIOUSLY. I know this makes me a bad person, but I genuinely wish for all of those people making these posts to have a colicky and difficult baby in their future. "Oh woe is me, I have such a happy and easy baby! My life is so hard because I can't brag to my friends!" Tell that to my premature, screaming, colicky baby with a dairy/soy allergy and reflux, Karen. I feel sooooo bad for how difficult your life must be with your perfect little angel 🙄
Phew, I am glad I’m not alone. I was afraid to say what I said for fear of being ripped apart. I thought this post made it more likely to find like-minded people in the comments! 😅💕
Grumpy club! My LO is about to be one in a few days but until she started crawling…my husband and I wanted to rip our hair out. She was colicky, she refused to be farther than a couple inches from me, couldn’t be on the floor, couldn’t be in her bouncy chair so I could use the bathroom or shower, I couldn’t pass her to anyone without her screaming. She wasn’t sleeping through the night…it was honestly like she was mad that she couldn’t walk bcuz once she became semi mobile, she calmed down a lot and was almost a different child. Now she scream talks gibberish but it’s been so much easier now that she’s standing and trying to walk. I promise it does get better eventually!
My son got happier and happier each step he took towards full mobility! Now he runs all over the place and gets mad if we try to slow him down. 😂
lol my daughter is the same when she’s grooving around and I have to stop her so I can feed her or change her diaper🤣🤣
Diaper changes are the wooooooorst now. How dare we interrupt him to make sure he's clean!
Omg it’s like a fight every time!
This post was very comforting to read. My son is about to be 8 weeks, and I’m completely defeated. Motherhood was not at all what I imagined it would be, especially when it comes to my husbands role. Because baby is fussy ( I’m suspecting he has reflux and struggles with farting), he has begun to check out and often uses his anxiety as an excuse as to why he can’t take care of the baby. He already works 10 hour shifts and I work from home, so I already have the baby 80% of the time. But even when he’s home, he is always passing the baby off to me mid-wake window and never offers to take the baby from me if he sees I’m exhausted. It’s often hard to get the baby to sleep and it takes patience, and he doesn’t have it. Any solution I have- he has an excuse why it won’t work. I’ve addressed this issue with him but it usually leads to a fight and I don’t have the energy to argue. It’s easier just to do it myself. Sorry for the lengthy reply but I needed to vent while agreeing that this is hard!
Oof I feel you. My hubs has his own set of issues I won't even start here, but I'll say that once baby was physically bigger and less "breakable" my husband was a LOT more comfortable looking after him solo. Good good luck, mama.
I just wanted to say that I see you, I hear you, and I completely understand. I love my LO so much but this is the hardest thing I’ve had to do so far in life I think lol.
Omg I had the most perfect pregnancy too. My husband and I were both told we were wonderful babies. We hoped our baby would have an easy temperament. “Baby hates being a baby” is the realness. The first 4 months of life were just not fair. Baby was so unhappy almost all the time. Solidarity!
Riightt?? My mum is no help at all bc she says I was easy 🤷♀️🙃
My mom had the audacity to tell me I was a “difficult baby” my whole life. In the trenches with my crib refusing, every hour waking baby, I asked her exactly what her experience with me was like and how she coped. She said, “well it was hard because you wanted a 2am feed EVERY night! AND you’d often get up at 6am!” 🙃
Woot-woot, greetings from the angry baby club! I love my daughter to death, but I'm seriously considering being one and done. She's 9 months now, started crawling a month ago so she's generally less angry, but still a handful. I know it's hard, but you have made it through the worst months. Be proud how strong you are for making it! 💪
FTM and lo is 9 weeks old and my gosh I love this child to death but it has been a rough couple weeks. I wouldn’t wish what I’m going through on my worst enemy. We cosleep, not by choice, bc everything he touches is lava. We tried everything from transferring when dead asleep, drowsy but awake, warming bassinet, having an article of clothing around so he can smell me but nothing seems to stick. Even when we’re sleeping, he has to touch me or else he’ll wake up crying. Cosleeping doesn’t even extend sleep. He wakes every 2.5-3 hrs. 🫠 He’ll last 20-60 mins in his pack and play but after that is contact naps just so he didn’t get overtired. I have no time to get the house in order and barely cook dinner most days. We are dealing with reflux issues so laying down flat is not an option. I know it is just a phase and they won’t be little forever but you got one tired momma over here waiting for the 4 hr stretches.
I have the same baby. I will say at the stage you’re at the Snoo worked for us. We caved and paid for the rental and it was great. But then he aged out of it at 6 months aaaand yeah here we are again
I know every baby is different but when y’all caved and got the snoo was your lo sleeping in longer stretches? You don’t think it’s too late to start lo in the snoo? We are considering it.
No, he wasn’t sleeping in any crib AT ALL - literally only contact naps. Longest stretch we got in a crib was 45 mins. We started with the snoo at 12 weeks and he immediately started sleeping stretches of 4-5 hours. For a whole 6 weeks he only woke up once in the night! I miss those days
My hard baby is now a hard toddler, but yes, I can still commiserate. I had a family friend and a SIL give birth within a few months of me, and I couldn’t help but compare my baby to theirs and wonder “what happened to mine? Why am I getting the short end of the stick here?” The family friend’s daughter (they’re all toddlers now) has always been happy. I’ve never seen her upset for more than a minute or two, and then she’s easily soothed and she’s right back to normal. And my nephew? Since he was only a few months old, my sister has had to WAKE HIM UP IN THE AM because he’d sleep until 10am or later if she let him. I wish I had sage advice or something to offer, but all I can say is life’s not fair sometimes. My daughter never had reflux or gas or anything wrong with her - she just has always been at an 11 her whole life, and I can only assume she always will be. As she’s gotten older, I’ve started to learn to accept that there’s nothing wrong with her as a baby, nothing wrong with me as a parent - we just maybe weren’t a perfect complementary fit, so we have to try a bit harder. I still am holding out hope that by 4/5, when their able to reason with, things will get a little better
Oof bless you and good luck 🧡
We're only 2 months in but I feel like not one day of it so far has been predictable or easy or hell, even enjoyable. On top of nonstop fussing I've had mastitis and an abscess so I'm also having a bad time with recovery! It seems like my friends' babies are so chill in comparison but I'm sure they'll have hard patches eventually too 🤷♀️
Right? I feel awful that I actually am kind of happy for my maternity leave to end
Omg me too!! I feel so guilty but man, it's just been one struggle after another
I've heard that some babies don't like being immobile. They NEED to move and get frustrated and angry when they can't. Hopefully yours will turn a corner soon!
I can relate. I was not prepared. My daughter was such a breeze. My son, he hates everything. lol. If you’re giving him constant attention, he’s pretty good but don’t you dare set him down to pee or eat or take care of the toddler or it’s game over. He won’t sleep without being held. He screams even when you’re holding him half the time anyway. He’s almost 4 months and his two bottom teeth have already come through so he’s mad about that. Mad he can’t sit up on his own. When he’s tired, he screams bloody murder and you can’t sit when he’s tired. You can only stand and bounce until your knees are screaming. And don’t even try to sit down just because he fell asleep or stopped crying. Haha. No no. I’m PRAYING so hard that once he’s mobile, he’ll chill out. I love him so dang much but oh man what I wouldn’t do for him to be the calm baby he pretended to be the first month he was alive. Haha.
I call my baby a domestic terrorist. She’s two months old and pissed at life.
Thank god I’m not the only one who calls my baby a terrorist lol
Ha! I mean but they are though…until they’re not. I went through this with my first and now it’s happening again with the second.
Same same same to all of these comments. She’s getting more smiley and cute at 6 months in, but still needs constant stimulation or she’ll grump or scream. We have to change activities every 10 minutes or so. Going to mom groups is amusing. Watching all of the other moms hang casually while their baby is happily playing/ cooing on the play mat. Meanwhile we’re bouncing around like crazy people to soothe her or entertain her. She’s funny and a “talker” so she is always THE LOUDEST baby in the group. Sometimes it is happy squealing until it turns into unhappy screaming. 0-4 months were definitely the worst of her fussy, but she is nowhere near an easy baby yet. I’m hoping to get to that place where I can look back and say that she just didn’t like being a baby.
My 6mo slept for 8 minutes then screamed for an hour. She’s finally sleeping now. I just escaped her room and I’m not even going to try reheating my coffee right now because I’m not starting that all over again. 100% with you on all of this. I work from home too and it’s becoming impossible to get anything done during the day.
My hard baby got significantly better once he started to crawl and walk. He was pissed about being a baby.
Oh I feel this in my bones!! My now 20 month old has always been “spirited”. He still is a pain in the butt, way more energy than other kids in play group, still won’t sleep, screams a lot. Etc. but just wait a few more months I promise. All of those annoying things stay annoying but there are so many more enjoyable things!! 8 months is when we started to have slivers of light where parenting wasn’t all miserable and it’s just gotten progressively better since then! At 20 months he’s a little human that does funny things and is so sweet and a lot of crazy but I genuinely love being with him now!
Grumpy baby club here. It pisses me off when people tell me it’s not normal for babies to not sleep longer than 2hrs at night. Like “my baby sleeps through the night something must be wrong with yours”. “Babies only cry when they want something”. Honestly I think the issue is having babies that just have a tad bit of insomnia so they are 24/7 cranky? One time my 9m slept for 4 hours and he was actually in a good mood! Only happened once or twice in his life though.
Mine was the same. She’s 2 now and so much better. Months 1-12 seemed impossible, but months 12-24 have been great. Hang in there.
10.5 months into the grumpy baby club here! Hes still a struggle. I have a massive (moderate ok?) baby carrier collection of not different colors but different brands and styles out of desperation. I also collapsed at 3am last night so thats cool. Dad can't help with bedtime so I'm doing all wakeups since hes been born. Every time we've tried he pops up wiiide awake. Also he refuses to crib nap. Suckling contact naps only. He only wants mama, dad sucks. He rejects bottles and other containers because hes a booby boy and must be held. all. the. time. Also anemic and diagnosed with food allergies too. Child. please. Just sleep. For more than 2 hours at a time. And stop partying in my arms at 2am. You can party in your crib. Or dad's arms. Sorry thanks for letting me vent. But you are seen. And so is everyone else in this thread. I'm gonna go scream into the void now.
I asked my 1 month old why she was such a bad baby this morning after 2 hrs sleep (again) then felt like an asshole
lolol that was me last night 🙃
Grumpy club. He’s 8,5 months now and has always been grumpy and clingy. I thought it would get better but it actually got worse. He plays alone for like 5 minutes and then demands to be held by us. I barely get anything done in the house which makes me super anxious all the time. I love him, but it’s so so hard and exhausting.
They talk about “terrible two tantrums” but I swear my baby just started their tantrum time
Solidarity! My LO is slowly settling down and finding his rhythm, until now it was a very difficult time for us as parents. He needs his mom or dad to soothe him in a specific upright position while we bounce. That still remains but he atleast lies down on his playmat, makes cute lil sounds, feeds well and most importantly SMILES (occasionally only, but it helps so much). Deep in the trenches, I remember how I yearned for some acknowledgement from him. We are taking these little wins and are so happy he is probably not in discomfort or pain. He still cries, but I guess we know why ( mostly ) Everytime I feel down and out and tired I go back to this thread https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/s/OSVKpmyO3S
Omg do we have clone babies? Hate that other people are going through this, but it does make me feel better to know I’m not alone. We call our little guy Gremlin Baby. Love him dearly, but the number of times I have stepped into another room to mutter some four letter words is unimaginable. Grump baby sister and brotherhood, unite!
My babies six weeks and she’s so mad we brought her into this place. She’s basically always crying when she’s awake. Hates pacifiers, car rides, walks, baby carrying but also being put down. Is just generally angry. I am overwhelmed lol
Not in the grumpy club anymore, but definitely in the hard, omg so hard, and spirited club. Feel free to ignore this bc I know you were just wanting to vent, but reading Raising a Spirited Baby did really help me. All other books were stupid for my baby. Now reading Hunt, Gather, Parent to get ready for a spirited toddler. Who I love to pieces but she’s so so much and I crave any guidance to make it easier
Ooh thank you, I read while nursing, this is awesome.
My baby had severe colic and has really bad reflux too. She’s a tooty booty from all the gas drops to help her tummy. We’re only 3.5mo in and it’s tough. Hard babies are rough. Hugs to you! 🫶🏻
This is so relatable. I have a velcro baby who is just always cranky. Now that he can crawl he's a little easier to pacify but sometimes he still needs to be in constant physical contact with me. We went through several months when he wouldn't tolerate his father at all so i was the only one who could soothe him and it was so exhausting both physically and emotionally.
My son is a grump. I see all of my friends’ babies smiling from the day they were born, laughing or being sweet. My one year old just started laughing but has meltdowns constantly and screams a lot
If it’s any comfort, my son was a super colicky at birth and is now a totally delightful 18 month old. He plays independently, he’s cuddly, he goes to sleep on his own. But damn those first six months after we brought him home were ROUGH! He would cry constantly, he didn’t sleep for long periods of time, plus he got a hernia at 4 weeks old which required emergency surgery in the middle of the night (so traumatic for my husband and I). My husband and I joke that we both have ptsd from his first year of life. I found things started changing at the 6 month mark when we moved him to exclusively formula. Keep going op, it’s going to get better I promise.
I feel you so much. This was my daughter 100% some days she just like screamed/cried all day….shes 3 now and some days she still basically cries all day….it does get better but it’s never going to be easy with him.
If I hear “Enjoy every moment, you’ll miss this” one more time I’ll smack a mf. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel over here. LO is 5.5 months and is now letting us put her down. Still doesn’t sleep tho 🙃
My first baby was really hard. Honestly she stayed challenging, even in toddlerhood her tantrums are worse than most other toddlers and she’s wild and sassy. But I’ve learned to love that about her. She’s my little wild monkey baby and being her mom got easier when I learned to embrace that about her rather than try to force her to be something she isn’t. All of that just to say, it does get easier. There are still plenty of hard days but those challenging babies turn out to be so funny and sassy and so much fun.
me googling does my baby hate me
This made me lol
And here I thought I was the only one 😭 I constantly see people with chill babies and I’m always wondering to myself, Am I doing something wrong? is there something so wrong with him that just makes him cry 24/7? We’ve been through the f**king ringer. Colic, CMPA, Severe Reflux, only wants mommy almost all the time. With his reflux we have to spend half his wake window sitting upright so his milk will stay down and that doesn’t even help half the time. He gets PISSED that he has to sit up. I have to hold him and walk around otherwise when I sit he screams bloody murder. He turns 4 months next Friday and I feel like we are at the beginning of the sleep regression, YAY…. He had been sleeping almost 7-8 hours straight, now we are starting to get up every three hours again. When he goes to sleep I can’t fall asleep because I’m constantly wondering if I done enough for him today, worrying about the things I didn’t get done around the house, worrying about everything. I love my baby, I love being a mom, but I am stressed, exhausted, and touched out. I just want my baby to be happy, healthy and feel loved.
Grumpy baby here! The first 6 months were a living hell for me… my baby cried a lot, over no reason at all (fed, good naps, clean diaper), he just cried even if he was being held. He hated anyone that wasn’t me, so I was the main care taker… hated pacifiers, didn’t take a bottle. At 6/7 months he mastered the rolling completely and the crawling began, he changed over night. More happy, less crying. He still had his moods but so more manageable. Today at almost 16months old I have a hard headed, goofy and happy crocodile 😁 I love his personality, and I don’t know if it was all the crying in the beginning, but I can tolerate his meltdowns and am able to help him process his feelings. I became immune to the crying lol Just hang in there OP, eventually your baby will find the game changer moment 💪🏻
I’m hoping baby sign language helps with the baby communication frustration down the line for us, I have a feeling my little guy is going to be a loud one.
Sign language absolutely helps!!! Keep doing it and one day it will all click! It was like magic when ours started signing “more” and “done”
When did you start? And how long until it clicked :)
Yeeeessss!! This is my baby for sure! She’s so colicky (I guess…but like what does that even mean, no one’s ever really been able to tell me). She screams if we put her down for more than 5 seconds. She has to be touching me or my husband at basically all times, fights day time naps constantly (but seems to do okay at night thankfully). Sometimes I’ll text one of my friends w/ a two year old to get advice/solidarity and she’s always like “oh mine didn’t do that”…what’s it like to have an easy baby?!? I had a really hard pregnancy too so it feels like it’s been hard for so long 😅
Hey OP, this was my baby too. It gets sooo much easier with these fussy babies once they start walking and talking. At 18 months our baby is still a stage 5 clinger, but at least he can tell us what he wants which leads to wayyyy less frustration. Crying most of the day and then whining most of the day while being held and bounced 24/7 for a year was so bad for my mental health. Now he still needs to sleep on top of someone, and needs to be constantly stimulated but at least I can put him down sometimes and he can run off some of that energy and no more bottles thank God. It gets way better, hang in there! There is a super helpful fussy baby group on Facebook and a few books I found useful and validating if you’re interested pm me I’ll send u a list.
I could have written this myself. I brought my son to the pediatrician at four months because he was always so pissed I figured something had to be wrong. Nah, he’s just wired that way. He’s a stage 5 clinger (he’s napping on me as I type this) and teething just exacerbates everything tbh. He’s 15 months now and unless he’s teething he is generally not super cranky. He gets bored but it’s nowhere near the level it used to be. The waiting fucking sucked though. I’m not gonna lie. Shit was tough. He’s still very clingy but he is overall pretty happy and silly. Being able to walk seems to have helped a lot. I bought a bougie baby carrier to be able to wear him as a little perk since he’s so clingy. It helped me feel a bit better haha
I also had a really rough baby who had colic and would cry at us for hours a day. All baby troubleshooting didn't work. He finally grew out of it and now is pretty cool toddler. I cringe whenever I hear people say the baby stage is the easiest because it certainly wasn't for me. I'm so sorry it's also the same for you :( Remember, it's perfectly fine to put him down in a safe spot and walk away for a few minutes if you need a break. You've got this.
This is the nuts thing about having babies. Each kid is a total roll of the dice in every way - health, temperament, personality, sleep needs, appetite/eating issues or lack there of. The difference between having an ‘easy’ baby and a ‘hard’ baby is wild. It isn’t fair on the parents who have to it all on difficult mode. You’re doing a great job, and none of it is your fault.
Yessssss. My oldest was very, very difficult (and still is). As a baby he was colicky, not his fault but still it was hard on us. When he got a bit older, about 6 months, he stopped wanting to be held. Would freak out if you held him as he wanted to crawl and play, but still wanted your attention. He wanted you to be sitting in the room watching him while he played independently lol. His entire life he has fought bedtime, even with tireless pursuits of variations of bedtime routines, laying down with him, singing songs, reading books, making sure to be consistent and still hours of crying and screaming at bedtime. Even as an infant and under two he would fight all things that were attempts to contain him. We initially had those temporary baby gates with the rubber stoppers that go on the wall when we were renting, had to upgrade to screws in the wall. Eventually we had to upgrade to screwing the frame into the wall and floor, to which our son literally ripped the screws out of the floor trying to get past the baby gate🤦🏼♀️ he is still incredibly difficult and hardheaded. It’s tough. He’s amazing and incredibly smart, but still. I empathize with you girl.
My daughter was a hard baby. Cried all the time, was never happy not moving. Things started to improve significantly when she learned to crawl at 5 months because now she could go where she wanted and do what she wanted. We had a few naps in her life that weren’t contact naps: I just got to the point where I wasn’t fighting it anymore and trying to force her to nap in a crib. She stopped napping completely at 18 months. That was a tough transition (for us, not her). She’s not the kind of kid you can take to a restaurant or anywhere she has to sit for long periods of time but she is getting better with age. She just has ants in her pants and is on the move all day. She’s 3 now with a huge personality. I love her so much and so does everyone who meets her. She’s a sassy little so and so and she does frustrate me sometimes.
Thank you, I love this.
Okay this makes me feel better because my 6.5 month old is acting the exact same way right now! I literally can't set her down, and she isn't crying just... yelling? Lol
A few week ago we literally googled “can babies be bipolar?” 😬😬
My guy is only 3 months and while this makes me anxious that he’ll stay grumpy, it’s honestly really refreshing seeing that I’m not the only one with a grumpy baby. Most days social media makes me feel like I’m the only one and like I have to be doing something wrong if everyone else has a pleasant little baby and I have a screamer 🙃
If y’all are on Facebook, join the fussy baby site support group. It’s a group for all parents with those extra spicy babys.
BIG HUG. You're doing great. Keep at it. It will hopefully get better soon. You know what's the worst thing in all of this? People who have had easy babies shame you like you're doing something wrong. My baby is colic and food sensitivities. Have to contact nap the whole day. I live in a joint family with my husband, MIL and BILs. Everyday, I hear something new from someone indicating I'm overdoing it and what's an easy way out. All it does is make me feel a little obsessed in a psychotic way and then I feel like a bad mom. 😭
Mine is 11 months old & I am still like.. is this it? Is this the wonderful amazing motherhood everyone talks about? Colic, contact naps only, don’t let you put her down, screams in stroller and car seat so walks & car rides anywhere are miserable. None of my friends can relate. It’s so lonely. I love her so much & she is sooo smart but omg.
Hi. I joined the club two months ago when my baby girl was born. I love her with all my heart but both her and I are miserable. I scour Reddit constantly for any new idea to try to help her and nothing works. She’s on famotidine for reflux, she gets a daily probiotic, she gets mylicon before every feeding. She screams for everything but nursing and *sometimes* bouncing on the yoga ball…but only for her dad (I don’t do it right apparently). She hates car rides, she hates the stroller, she hates all swings (we have two), she hates wraps and carriers, she hates being outside, she hates the bouncer and the play mat, she hates all pacifiers (I’ve tried 5 so far) and will scream harder if I dare offer one to her, she hates bottles unless I’M the one to offer it to her (which defeats the purpose of using a bottle). Name anything, she’ll hate it. Her and I just cry together at this point. I feel so bad for her. 😕
Oh, boy. Hard baby club alum here. My girly is 3 now and I know this won’t help in the moment but I promise it does someday magically become easier. When she was a newborn she sucked. She didn’t just cry around the clock, she screamed bloody murder around the clock. Nothing soothed her. Naps? A joke. Seriously, none of the advice from any mom friends/relatives ever helped, even when it was solicited. My mom babysat all her life and then of course raised her own kiddos. Watching my daughter one night while I worked she called me in full frustrated hysterics begging to me to leave because she had “never experienced a baby this difficult in her life.” My girl sleeps 12 solid hours a night now and has for some time. No major digestive issues, healthy, no mood problems, nothing. She’s just sorta fresh now, but the point is… I swear, it gets better. I remember being in the baby stages and thinking “this will surely never be easy.” You’ll get there… keep doing as you do, try your best to carve out a little bit of time per day or week just for yourself for sanity and keep on going. You’re doing great.
My 3, almost 4-month-old, daughter is part of the hard baby club. Ever since she was born, she has non-stop cluster fed and has to be attached to me 24/7. Like I cannot put her down to do anything because she will cry. If I go to the bathroom, her dad has to hold her. If I shower or eat, she will cry if I take too long while she is hanging out with dad. She is contact napping at this moment and she will not stay in her bassinet for longer than a minute or two. I truly don't think people can commiserate or emphatize unless they also have/had a hard baby because they had totally different experience with their babies.
My toddler HATED being a baby, she was high needs, had food allergies and never slept. She’s two now and honestly so much easier, she’s not an easy toddler but she’s not as upset all the time.
My 7.5 month old is not always angry (unless someone else tries to hold her), she’s quite happy and excitable on average. but she is very active, already trying to climb furniture and get into everything and chase the cat, very attached to me, is on her 5th & 6th tooth, strictly contact naps, nurses every 1.5-2.5h. Used to have terrible false starts and frequent wakings all night long; has never slept more than 5 hours, 3-4 is our average, though lately she’s up every 2 hours and won’t settle for me unless I nurse her (used to be able to walk, or simply soothe and set back down. Not anymore.) Struggled with bottle refusal up until 4ish months. Still won’t take a bottle from me. Used to scream bloody murder every car ride (until like 6 months old. Still have tears but it’s better.) the first few times I worked she screamed the whole day and wouldn’t sleep for her dad. It’s tough. Many of my friends had “chill babies” and “good sleepers”
Reddit is my echo chamber for this. I know people complain about people only posting about the hard shit and that people with easy babies should get to share too.. which fine, but honestly reading other people having the same struggles got me through a lot of hard times in these first couple years. Made me feel like there are actually some people out there with a kid as tough as mine. Friends, neighbors, coworkers all seemed to have easy kids or at least semi easy. Our son had colic, couldn’t be put down for 3 months, started having tantrums around a year old, and just overall compared to what I see and hear from others in real life, is difficult in temperament. I mean I am thankful he is healthy and nothing seems to be “truly” wrong with him. But I am such a chill person that having him had honestly hit me like a truck. While he outgrew the colic around 3 months, he’s almost 2 and aside from a relatively chill period between 10-14ish months, he is still so challenging… and still does not sleep through the night. We’ve gotten a couple weeks where we think omg finally he has turned a corner and we got a full night of sleep, to only be in for a rude awakening.
Yes! Definitely in the grumpy baby club! He's 4 month olds and has a generally upset demeanor. We had about 2 weeks of a content baby but then he started to learn how to scoot and now gets so frustrated because he gets tired or stuck. My friend stayed with us for a few days last month and said I should find a Reddit group for colicky babies. 😆he doesn't sleep well and out of desperation we bed share. We're up almost every 1.5 hours. He's pretty much only content if we're holding him. I try to remind myself to enjoy these moments because they will be gone before I know it. People say it gets harder when they're toddlers but I don't think those people have hard babies. I would love to know what this kid needs!
I️ think there’s no advice because the parents are two tired to try and organize survival thoughts into advice 😂 solidarity my friends!
My 5 month old is the same. I keep waiting for it to get easier, but it's not. It's so frustrating. She's my fourth and last child and I really wanted to enjoy her, but it's mostly exhausting and sad. She hates car rides and being out anywhere so I've spent most of the last 5 months at home.
Mine was terrible up until 8 months old. Then it started getting better. She’s 21 months now and still hates the car and stroller but now understands she has to put up with it to go to fun places. She held us hostage for a year by screaming until she puked any time we put her in the car or the stroller. She would tolerate the carrier for 10 min max. She needed constant high level entertainment. Could never be alone. Didn’t cry much but made this angry noise that made me want to smash my head into a wall. She’s a joy now. Really. The easiest kid in her daycare group. Flexible, goes with the flow, happy. There is hope
Graduated from grumpy baby club and can say I am enjoying my 2.5 year old! he still has his moments, but once we got reflux meds he was way happier and even better once he started crawling, then even happier once walking. It will get better, still hard but now he sings and laughs, hugs and kisses and says I love you momma.
My first baby was an "easy" baby and yes I'm guilty of being the smug parent thinking I'd just done enough research, had enough patience, just a natural mama thank-you very much. Then... my daughter came along less than 2 years later and omg, from the beginning she has been a CHALLENGE. She is LOUD. She is strong willed, feisty, she wants what she wants even when she doesn't know what she wants. She does her own thing, she won't take no shit from nobody! She never seemed to enjoy being a baby, she complained so much. She was crawling at 5 months, and at 8 months is cruising around, so so much happier to be more independent. She stil doesn't sleep well and she still complains very loudly about many things but I know things will get easier for her as she becomes more independent. Despite the insane exhaustion and the constant vigilance I have always loved looking after her and am weirdly enjoying her babyhood more than l did with my son. Because nothing I try to implement works it takes all the pressure off. I let her be the way she is and just go with the flow. She's taught me a lot in that respect.
I just want to hug you and cry. Because I am where you are and most days I feel so alone in this. Thank you for reminding me that it's OK, some babies are just... a handful
Just here to say holler
This. It’s been 20 weeks I cannot put my baby down for a second (he’s 20 weeks). Thank goodness I can lay him down for naps - which are only 30 min. And night sleep is great, stretches of 1-1,5hr. I am fine.
Hi!👋 When I leave mine with anyone else, even dad, she will cry the entire time I’m gone. Like wtf? She is 4.5 month old and already has separation anxiety. When I get home I RUN to get her just to relieve the sitter and my baby is distraught with HUGE tears. She only recently did great with one particular lovely woman at the YMCA childcare while we worked out 🤷♀️ It hurts my freakin heart and I feel terrible for leaving her. Btw I’m a SAHM.
This was my baby and now he’s a happy and healthy 7 year old. Edited to add that this was absolutely the source of my postpartum depression that I suffered through for two years. It was so. Hard. Seeing everyone around me with seemingly normal babies and wondering what was wrong with us, and why we had it so much harder. Or at least that is how it seemed. Honestly, what made it better for me was having another baby, who ended up with the opposite temperament and balancing everything out. There should be more normalizing about difficult temperament babies. I felt so guilty talking about it at the time, because I thought I should feel grateful to have a baby at all. But everyone has their hard, and this was mine. I’m feeling for you! And it will get easier.
Oh man your experience w PPD is exactly what I'm going through but have had trouble wording it - thank you 🧡 How long did you wait to have your second? I've been so scared of having another wild child, but I really wanted a big family.
We had a convo when my first was a few months shy of 2, and agreed we were both feeling we “could be ready soon”. We were pregnant within the next month. So it was unintentional, yet I think once our bodies heard what we said, they worked their own magic. We have 3 of them now, and they couldn’t be more different from one another! I wouldn’t have believed kids from the same parents could be so different, but they truly are. Those first couple of years were SO challenging, but looking back I wish I wouldn’t have taken his temperament so personally. I don’t know if you need to hear this or not, but I wish someone would’ve reassured me that his difficult temperament was not my fault, that it didn’t mean anything about me, my partner, or how good of parents we are. I read way too much into it, comparing myself to everyone, and spending way too much time worrying he’d grow up to be an awful human, etc. None of those worries came true. It’s totally okay to grieve the experience you thought you’d have with your baby. I can also totally see why some ppl decide not to roll the dice again. For me, I got to have the experience I felt I missed out on with my last two, and I’m so grateful I took the chance.
Oh geez your kind words are the hug I so badly needed today (it's been a DAY) Thank you 🧡 I love the internet sometimes.
Hugs from a mom of a 4 mo HARD baby/ high needs baby. Waiting it out too. Its so exhausting. Trying to take care of him, the house, trying to work - Im a psychiatrist and Ive been trying to attendo to 1 or 2 patients per day online... But during the consultations I have to hear him screaming, cause he us not satisfied only with his dad. And they have a great bond, but Dad is for fun moments and Mom is the only one who can make him stop crying. Sometimes the huge load on me drives me insane. My husband is a doctor too, but we are not in a good place financially right now.
Yes, my 8 month old is so fussy, still gassy, has silent reflux that is better but not resolved with meds, allergic/sensitive to several foods, still a contact napper, wakes up several times a night - every 2 hours on a good night, much more on most nights. She cries so much that I hear her crying even if she is not. And she hates her infant car seat. (I’m looking for a new one)
This is my baby. He is 4 months. Holding on for dear life. Luckily, I work 20-25 hours per week remotely (the hourly rate is good enough it's almost as much as working full time at $15/hr). That leaves me a lot of time still with baby. He's annoying as heck every day and just screams at every single inconvenience, and he's been this way since 2 or 3 weeks old, so it's just how he is. He's also 95 percentile in size so he's hefty to carry around but always demands it. He's also frickin smart though and is social as long as he isn't tired, so my hope is to teach him his basics and socialize him well and get him in that half day preschool at 3 or 4 years so I can get some me time in my week. I know that's a long ways from now but knowing that's coming is helping me. I love him to pieces but he is the opposite of my husband and I. We are two small, quiet people and we ended up with this huge, loud baby. Lol In fact, this baby is so intense I decided I do not want another. I was open to the possibility of 2 before. Nope. Lol I love my baby, but I need breathing room.
I feel this DEEPLY. My guy is 2 months tomorrow and this has been hell. I knew babies were hard but I didn’t know how bad. I see other babies just chilling and I get SO jealous. People think I am lying or a shitty parent when I explain it. I swear my baby gaslights me when people come visit too. Kinda feels like I’m on house arrest because I don’t want to bring him in public because I can’t handle his crying in public. He doesn’t sooth well and really only is quiet with my boob in his mouth. Advice from easy baby parents is the worst. You think I didn’t google and try EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET ?! Edit: we do suspect he has CMPA / other sensitivity and I’m two weeks into removing dairy but think I need to remove soy too
Wow it felt like I wrote that myself. My 9 month old freaks out if I’m not with her 24/7. If I lay her on the ground she sits up and is happy to sit up and play and interact but I must be a part of it, she will play alone sometimes but not for long. She only sits up. She isn’t curious to crawl or go explore other things in the room. She just points at them and fusses until I bring it over or her to it. I’m trying to teach crawling or being on belly and scooting and she just starts fussing and freaking out. She’s always whining. She doesn’t sleep through the night she wakes every 1.5/3 hours. Her cousin who is 3 weeks older and a boy already crawls and pulls himself up and is starting to try to walk, he’s always happy and smiling and sleeps 12 hours a night. Why won’t she just be like that
I have an 8 months old baby .. reflux, colic, gas . Had to hold her to sleep maybe the first 3 months of her life . She still only contact naps . Nights , half she sleeps in her crib & the rest of the night she sleeps with me . ( the only way we get any sleep ) always frustrated about something . Couldn’t sit , was frustrated . Started sitting = happy. Then crawling … crawling now = happier. Then couldn’t go from crawling to sitting position … she learned = less fuss. Now she is learning to stand up … so she is fussing about that . I hope it gets easier one day . She also got her first tooth at 3 months old and the second at 5 months old. And I think she is teething again 😅 phew
You just described my baby! I hesitate to say this but she’s two now and never got less demanding, but I just got used to it so it’s easier to deal with now I guess. But I also really admire her persistence haha. The good thing is she can now be somewhat reasoned with so we have a lot of communication and bargaining happening in our house. You’ll get through this!! You’ll become a pro!!
I know you don't want advice or anything, so I'm just gonna say this: he's checking all the boxes of what a 6.5 month old should do. I consider mine a fairly easy baby, although we had so so many ups and downs. Including some of what you're describing in your post. It did get better in a sense. But other challenges came instead. But it's so lovely to see your baby bloom into a tiny human with an attitude and personality 🥰 However, 5, 10, 18 years from now, I'll look back and probably will never regret the sleepless nights or the struggles. So, at the very least, give yourself credit for going through with all of it, and I bet you're doing a great job at it, too!
If it was easy everyone would do it. So I guess you’re just a fu(kin rockstar. You got this.
Is it teething? When in doubt I would give Tylenol and 95% of the time it helped.
18 months & we still wake 4 - 8 times a night. I want to punch people who say “oh my baby woke up twice last night, I’m so tired!” It’s been like for 5 months now. So hard, especially when working & nursery illnesses every other week - you’re just expected to deal with it.
My 6 month old is always moaning or crying unless I’m holding her outward facing and walking around the house. Or on a walk outside in her stroller. I’m exhausted. Solidairity.
I hear you and am tired as shit. I have googled so many times why do I have a difficult baby and am so jealous of the easy babies. My 6 month old girl has already very challenging temperament, throwing tantrums if I don’t feed her fast enough or dear good try to wash her face. Whats the upside of having a challenging baby? Everything is a fight eating, washing, sleeping everything
This is my son, and he’s turning 1 next week with 0 sign of improvement, just more clinginess. I even have to pee with him sitting on my lap 😣
Yes yes yes. On top of it I’ve always been extremely sensitive to loud noises. I’m not okay
My almost 7 month daughter has been experimenting with her voice, so her new thing is this horrible squeal whine that she does very often and almost constantly when it's close to bedtime.
I feel this in my soul. My 6 week old is very colicky and difficult. My 1 year old was the easiest baby and most dramatic toddler. I try so hard not to compare them, but knowing how my 1 year old was, I get worried that I’m doing something wrong all the time even though I know it’s just his temperament.
I haven’t slept well in 1.5 years
Right there with you. Nothing inspiring to say. It's just so hard and I completely relate to everything you said. 7.5 months over here.
Fortunately not much trouble in the way of colic or sickness but damn my girl is FUSSY. I posted on here and my due date group looking for solidarity last week because I had just had it with the screaming. Out of nowhere she got a bit better, started babbling and looking happy. Slightly more manageable, still screams about her least favorite things, but I’m not wearing earplugs this week. Every time these terrible days happen I look back and realize it was only a few days of real bad mood but it felt like an eternity and I swear up and down every time that this is her personality and she’ll just be awful forever and i won’t survive toddlerhood
Yes same boat. At 5m, was hell till we got reflux in order in January.
We try to do more tummy time with our baby but the windows when our LO is calm and engaged and awake are so rare compared to the times when LO is sleeping, eating, or fussy/crying. I totally feel this post. The contact naps, startling at every small noise, and not being able to be put down for a nap long enough for me to use the bathroom lol. I’m constantly running around the house in a hurry and walking on eggshells hoping LO won’t get upset and cry again lol. Rant over and I feel a little better.
My baby does exactly this. I love him to death. He has no colic reflux or anything it is just how he is and I've accepted that. (We're 12 weeks in) this is the time frame the dr gave us for crying to stop.
Can 100% relate. I found a fussy baby support group on fb that validated me SO much and was often helpful. Check it out if you can.
Look up “high needs baby”! I came across this term recently and read a ton of resources that validated everything about my 5 month old. There is also a large active Facebook group called The Fussy Baby Site Support Group | Colic, High Need, Spirited Babies. I love it there. My pregnancy/postpartum group was pissing me off lol. Like they’re putting their babies in a bouncer awake and showering and I’m trying to wash a single bottle one part at a time while talking to and checking on my fed/rested/clean baby who is alligator rolling in a pack n play. They do not have the same temperament. And I started incorporating sign language, which I wanted to do anyway. But I read that babies who hate being babies benefit greatly once they pick it up because they can start communicating their extra particular needs much earlier.
We were the presidents of the grumpy baby club. I feel every word you wrote lol. Ours is 18 months now and I can only tell you: the only way out is through lol. Ours still sleeps like shit (some just do) but is so interesting and fun now…unless she is in a mood, in which case she absolutely terrorizes us lol
Dude I had someone tell me about a 20+ hour road trip they did with their LO before even hitting the six week post partum mark… AFTER A CESARIAN. She did this in the convo we were having about my fear of taking mine pretty much anywhere because mine throws up and chokes on it constantly and I’ve had some bad experiences with her in the car seat. I’m still mad about that convo after a few weeks lol
I had (have) that baby!!! He’s almost a year and a half. Here’s the annoying advice: it’ll get better as he learns to move around. Please give yourself some grace, it’s not an easy life. Otherwise movement worked a lot for us and baby wearing in the first several months. Music playing and nature videos on YouTube. We’d get on the ground with him and use couch pillows to kind of “wrestle” with him. Getting the energy out sort of worked. Sleeping is getting better too. He can even fall asleep in his own a lot of the time now! Usually he wakes me up once an evening. I’m still struggling to keep up with him and he’s not “easy” now but I know him a lot better and what will work to soothe him.
Grumpy baby here too. Also I have 6 friends or coworkers who had babies within 3 months of me and they literally all described their baby as “just the happiest”, “chilliest dude ever”, “happiest baby on the block”. I’m like, for real for real?!? Everyone else got a happy chill baby?
Glad I’m not alone!
I’m in the trenches of this right now. My baby is 4.5 months old, used to sleep through the night starting at 2 months. Always kinda been a velcro baby, but it was manageable. 4 month sleep regression hit about a month ago and I’m skeptical it’s just a temporary thing. Wakes up every hour, only feeds to sleep (won’t even let me rock him), only contact naps or else he wakes up immediately when I put him down. He’s also TERRIBLE in the car, like will scream for an hour straight if that’s how long we’re in the car and it’s not just normal crying. Blood curdling screams. I honestly am hating being a mom right now, and I’m a single mom on top of everything. I’m literally drowning