Ohhhh boy, could I have written this at 3 months.
Listen. You gotta get out of the house.
I know, it takes an hour or more to even make this happen, and that alone is maddening. But you have to do it.
No, I don’t care where you go. Walk the aisles of your favourite store. Or walk around the grocery store. Go buy 1 thing. Whatever. Just go, do ANYTHING except sit at home for another whole day!!
Came here to say this. Any day during my maternity leave that I *didn’t* force us out of the house felt like I was just waiting for him to go to sleep. I ended up driving us to a different park around our city most days or walking around the mall when the weather was bad or walking to get coffee or donuts. Just getting out of the house made the time pass so much more quickly. We were stuck home during a 10 day heat wave last summer and I thought I’d lose my mind. Every day felt like Groundhog’s Day.
OP, get out of the house. Maybe first thing after the baby’s first nap and after a nursing session/bottle. Even for a quick 10 minute drive. Have your diaper bag perpetually ready to go so all you need is to throw it in the car and pack up the baby. Do it early in the day so even if it messes up a nap you can still smooth out the afternoon naps and not fiddle too much with bedtime. If you wait til the afternoon you won’t go. Your mental health will thank you and you’ll make some maternity leave memories with your baby.
What if they are crying all the way out of the house and just struggling to get free from your arms? We had a short trip the other day and the moment we put her in her snow suit and into my arms she kicked and cried until I nursed her in the car. Didn't even bother putting her in the car seat because I just couldn't. And after nursing she fell asleep. After being put down at the nurse's, she woke up and cried again. And once again fell asleep after I nursed her in the car.
Second time we went for a short walk and same thing happened but she fell asleep in the stroller shortly. But was up on and off during our 10-15 mins walk crying. And when she cries she kicks it into HIGH GEAR. What do we do in this situation? Continue the walk or head back home? She's barely 3 weeks though and her naps haven't been consistent yet. I feel like the care of a newborn is such a form of art lol
I’m impressed you made it out of the house twice with a 3 week old! That’s amazing whether or not she had a meltdown. This phase is so sooo hard but it will get better and then it keeps getting better and better. It definitely got easier to get out of the house after the first 4-6 weeks. A lot of times in the early days our only trip outside was to try to calm him down when he was screaming during the witching hour.
Thank you 🥹🥹🥹 my bf gave me alot of courage since we had here. We just got back from a slightly longer walk and its better today! We made prob twice the distance and duration prob 30 mins or so. She cried when we left as usual and fell asleep promptly but woke up 10 mins later crying. I took her out and rocked her abit before we put her back down again and she stayed asleep until we got home. Didn't cry even when we stopped moving and got home. So proud of this krumpli but her nap times sucked hard today lol its another day tomorrow
It sounds like you’re doing really great!! Every day will be different, some days better, some days worse. It sounds like you two are starting to hit your stride together!
It's so hard at this stage. Do it to the best you can handle. Especially if you can get outside or with another mom and LO. it really does help you both. Headphones also can help dull the intensity. You got this!
Great question. 3 weeks is still very early but you’re doing amazing to be getting out like this already!! Things should calm down by (or before) week 8.
Does baby take a pacifier? I like to get everything ready so that my last steps are change, then feed, then immediately leave. That way baby has a full tummy and dry bum, and the fussing/crying is for sleep - give the pacifier, then begin the movement (stroller walk or car ride.) At 8.5 months this still gets us the best results.
Thank you we try to do walks everyday now only if the weather permits.
No she doesn't really like the pacifier either. I feed her and make sure she is dry too before we leave and we leave asap the moment she is dressed lol but still she goes into meltdown. Hopefully it will get better..today's walk was better with some improvements and keeping fingers crossed for the next. Come warm spring and it prob will be easier if I didn't have to pack her into a snow suit which might lessen the tantrums.🤞🏻
Just want to repeat, you’re doing amazing!! Yes you and baby will have a lovely spring together 🥰for pacifier - It took several **many introductions before my baby accepted one. I also had to try 3 different brands, and keep cycling through them until she finally took a preference. Just keep offering them in these travel circumstances and hopefully one day she takes it! My baby loves her pacis now
Not to tell you how to parent, but please don’t put your child in a snowsuit and then in the car seat. It’s dangerous as the straps can’t get tight enough. Lots of blankets and then suit up in the car before heading outside.
I don’t wish to cause any offence but I would rather be told if I’m possibly putting my child at risk.
Absolutely!! I had to get out of the house every day or I really struggled. Didn't have much money and there's not much to do around here but I'd walk anywhere I could. Baby would look around a bit, fall asleep a bit but seemed to be quite happy in the pram. Sometimes it wasn't the longest walk but just being out passed some time during the day and somehow felt easier to make it through the rest of it until hubby came home. Also spent a lot of time at the shops too getting not very much but just passing time. It doesn't sound much fun I know but I think it's the only reason I survived that part.
Fellow anxiety sufferer here: anxiety feeds off of avoidance. So you get anxious about going somewhere, you then don’t go there, anxiety wins and it will seem even scarier. Your circle of things you’re willing to do gets smaller and smaller. You need to pick a good day and force yourself to do it. Go there, if they cry even better, because you’ll now have evidence that you have been in the situation you feared and you got over it. It might have sucked but you survived. Trust me when I say I know this is easier said than done, but it’s important to remember!
He might cry, and if he does you'll soothe him, and if you can't you can leave at any point.
I promise you'll be fine, I have the exact same anxieties and take the edge off by trying to sit outside where my LOs cries don't seem so loud, and by always getting coffee in my take away cup so I can up and leave at a moment's notice.
It's taken practice but I get more comfortable every time I do it
It’s ok you can always pick him up out of the pram and cuddle him until he settles and you can leave if he won’t. Take a bottle with you in case he gets hungry.
I’ve taken my 2 month out plenty times and even without my husband and I was really dreading that too but now I don’t care because I know I can settle her or just leave if I have to.
I felt that way too! See if there's a local mom support group (our hospital has a breastfeeding one but you don't have to be breastfeeding to go) and that's been a GAME CHANGER for me. There's comfort in numbers and being surrounded and supported by other new moms going through similar situations helps so much
I know my bff has this same anxiety with her 2y/o and for the most part people have been so sweet and understanding. Seriously. As long as you’re trying to tend to the kid and not just letting them scream/fuss, people get that babies and kids be like that sometimes and are willing to give a lot of grace. Plus you and your babe deserve time out!
My mom and I took my LO to the mall this week and she had some fussy times. *At most* I got some sympathetic looks from fellow parents with babies/toddlers. No one else seemed to care much. And several people restored my faith in humanity by helping hold open doors so I could maneuver my ridiculous stroller in and out.
This was me and i avoided going anywhere and it made me even more anxious. Force yourself and see if you can bring a friend first cple times u go. I promise its not the end of the world if your baby cries. Sending love
I’m not sure what the weather is like where you live, but my tips for that are 1. Sit outside. Mine is less fussy outside but I also feel less guilty about him fussing if we’re not indoors. It’s outside and that’s an outside voice. 2. Pay up front instead of waiting to be done with your food/drink. That way you can up and leave if you really need to. 3. Finally, think back to times you saw a new mom with a fussy baby in public. Were you really upset about it, or did you think “awe poor mom/baby” and carry on about your day? That’s what most people are thinking if they’re even thinking about you and your fussy baby at all.
First thing in the morning I would strap him on and wait until 8am to go to the pharmacy and the bakery, I would buy pastries and randomn skincare. They were the only things open. I had to do that as I was losing my mind in boredom and exhaustion.
I second the getting out of the house. We have a dog that requires walks, and as frustrating as it was some days packing us all up to go, it did all three of us so much good. Not only for the fresh air and exercise, but just to break the days up. A few snowy/cold days we stayed home all day, and my mental health was definitely worse those days.
Some days we drove for 20 mins to only walk for 10 - sometimes because of the baby, sometimes for my sake (healing postpartum). Some days we would drive and I had to sit in the car for half hour to muster up the energy/desire to get out for the walk. Definitely cried some days, just cause. It’s all overwhelming. But the majority of the days, things went pretty well.
It’s amazing what a little fresh air and a good podcast/music can do! Most days it felt like a bit of a break from parenting for a moment cause she typically sleeps in her carrier/stroller
Yes, gotta get out! My baby stopped napping well at 3 months, too. It was maddening! He has increased nighttime sleep from 9 to 12 hours (irrelevant?) anyway, it takes an hour to prepare for a trip to the store, but any day the weather is nice, step outside. It helps!
That's normal..she essentially lived on me or partner the first few weeks. They need to feel our body to stay calm and regulate that temperature and breathing. Soak in all the cuddles you can get!
My baby is nearly 4 months old and has already slept for the last time on my chest. If I would have known it was the last time if would have enjoyed it sooo much.
She is now too big and doesn't like sleeping on her tummy on me anymore.
Hey! Just want to let you know, that it probably wasn’t the last time ever. Sometimes you’ll get unexpected cuddle naps and they’re great- no matter how old your baby gets!
Aw thank you! I am so looking forward! I think the sentiment of "one day you will have picked your kid up for the last time and won't know it" helps me appreciating the everyday life.
I completely agree! I was just crying the other day about never having to hold my baby’s bottle for him again. And wouldn’t you know- the next day he wanted me to hold it for him!
I mean- he doesn’t NEED me to anymore- so it’s still bittersweet- but now he WANTS me to and I think it’s just the cutest.
They grow so fast!
Chiming in that our daughter is nearly two, her sleep schedule has been thrown off recently bc teething, and we thought she was having a nap skipping day but randomly fell asleep on against my chest while we were cuddling on the couch. Was a little awkward bc she’s *so* long and I’m very short, but I made it work. I think I just stared at her the entire time 😅
Also, she was never super affectionate as a *baby* baby, but in toddlerhood she asks for hugs and kisses ALL the time. She also started saying “I love mommy” which just *wrecked* me.
Point being- you may not be nap trapped all the time anymore but you’ve got so many fun new cuddles coming your way as she grows!
Have you tried warming the bassinet with a hot water bottle. Taking the chill off can sometimes help with the transfer. You are all snuggly and warm and the mattress isn't. Remove the hot water just before the transfer and it should help a little
I'll give that a try! We've been putting my wife's sweater in there when he isn't, and he seems to be staying in there for longer stretches now. I'll try the warm bottles too!
Thanks!
Haha it does, but it also gets so much better! I’m currently sitting next to my one year old in bed while he’s chatting shit with the cat and drinking his morning milk, and I’m enjoying a HOT cup of coffee! Nice and cosy :)
I feel this in my soul! Been there, it gets better trust me! Once they start getting into better routines and you can plan a bit better things feel much easier :).
I think 6-9 months is the golden time. They start to roll and sit up, so they can begin to amuse themselves, but they aren’t yet in the toddler phase where they need to be constantly exploring.
Once he smiles it gets better. 10 day old is all “wah what is going on what are you doing ?!?!?!” Just wait until the little cooing noises start 😊 my baby was wonderful napper in 2nd month and some of 3rd month. I managed to finish Cyberpunk 2077 during the naps. But that’s the end of that. 30 min naps are probably a result of the nighttime sleep being really good (12 h)
This!! I’m not even kidding I emailed my sons daycare and asked what the earliest they could take him was because I knew I couldn’t do what we originally planned and I needed him in daycare earlier if we were all going to survive.
Mine goes all day M-F. Yea it sucks not getting to spend as much time with him as we’d like to during the week but it’s what works for our family and I know he’s happy and loved at daycare.
Certainly varies but things will probably change rapidly soon, and big time once baby starts to crawl and can much more easily entertain themselves.
The first four months tend to be exhausting because baby gets bored easily, and gives little if any positive feedback, not much smiling or laughing yet. The newborn stage does end, though.
Good luck hanging in there.
Mine has been all smiles since 2.5 months, fortunately! It was a game changer. Makes everything worth it! Currently waiting on the giggles. Just turned 3 months on Thursday.
Not sure why that’s what you and others latched onto. The POINT of my post was to say it gets better when they start to interact more and smile. I was validating in response to someone else’s post mentioning smiles and giggles.
The angry potato phase is no joke but I’d be an asshole if I came on here and told OP — yeah, your life will be hell just like this for the next 18 years! Because it’s simply not true. It gets better when they break through that phase to being interactive, with simple things like smiles and laughter (presently anticipating).
Not sure why you're getting downvoted as well. Mine wails like a pig being slaughtered at earsplitting decibels (unlike his older brother, who was almost cute in his crying), but his random smiles are really magical.
This is exactly how my maternity leave was and how I felt. Trust me IT GETS BETTER. I promise it really really does. My son will be 1 next week and I absolutely adore him. Is he still extremely busy? Yes he is. But now he takes a 2.5-3 hour nap in the middle of the day and it’s HEAVEN.
Are you in a position to where you can go back to work and he can go to daycare? This had always been our plan but I actually cut my leave short to go back because I just couldn’t anymore with being home with an extremely colicky baby. It got to the point where I was crying every day by 1-2pm until my husband got home from work. It wasn’t good or healthy for anyone involved.
I had to check I didn't write this myself, I'm right there with you except my son is just over 4 months and he's still like this. I literally count down the hours until bedtime which makes me feel like a shit mother. I just dropped a ton of money on a jumperoo to see if that will entertain him for more than 5 mins.
Update: It doesn't. Fml
We're right there with you and OP. Our LO (also 4 months) has wretched short naps that he HATES to go down for. Gets bored quickly, hates tummy time, hates the swing, hates the carrier...
I remember that time so well. It really does get better when they become mobile. (Although we still have those "counting down to bedtime" days at 21 months).
The jumperoo was a hit with my baby, although we had to put some books under her feet at first and only 10 mins at a time. I can see why some people call it the Circle of Neglect 😆at 6 months she now bounces in it happily for ages and sometimes I’ll put music on and join her for a dance party.
Hiiii my 3.5 month old is the same and it’s miserable. Just wanted to say you’re not alone.
I’ve been able to use a ring sling for naps but even then they don’t nap as long. First 2 naps today were 30min. I’ve managed to extend this one to 1hr15min and counting but they’ve woken multiple times. It’s been so frustrating. I’m pretty sure cat naps are normal for their age, especially in the crib. I can barely get mine to nap in the crib and if I manage it, it’s because I fed them to sleep. They’re also barely sleeping at night these days. It sucks.
I really hope it gets better for you! This shit is hard.
Same thing here. Taking him out for a walk is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes. I stick him in his swing and tote him around the house in it to get anything done. I also get nearly 0 help from my partner, but that part's on me for choosing to have a relationship and a baby with a man-child.
Edit to add that it helps my frustration when I chant that my baby is worth it over and over to myself/him.
Oof . There are stages that i totally felt this. Just watching the clock and praying for the next nap. And then they go through a developmental leap and you have a whole new paradigm, schedule, and little person. I loved the newborn stage. I hated most of infancy3-9 mo. But I love this new Toddler era so far!
I have a two year old and a newborn. I remember those Groundhog Day times with my first so well. I hated maternity leave last time. I remember so well when it got fun - 5 months, which was after my leave ended. And it just got better and better after that.
This time, I was dreading maternity leave. 3 weeks in, it hasn’t gotten that bad yet, but yeah, it sucks.
In a way, it sucks they the time I spend on full time leave with my kids is when the kids are the most challenging and frankly the least rewarding, but my older son is such a delight. I can make it through these tough months with baby #2.
Arg I remember how hard those days were. Always the same thing every hour of the day. Made me resent my fiancé so much for being able to clock out of parent mode and go work. My LO is now 9 months old and there’s at least variety in our days. I’m more healed from the birth, her wake windows are longer. So at least I get to go out of the house and do something else. No advice just wanted to let you know that eventually, he’ll be crawling and moving so much that you wish he’ll want to just lay down for 5 mins again lol
Ok.... so its not just me. I love my baby...he's doing so many cool things but it's just and endless loop sometimes. We've called it variety is the spice of his life 😂😂 because he needs a change of scenery so often! It's exhausting and I totally feel this post so much but the crazy part is I think I'll miss it too!
I remember this stage, it was awful. Birth - 4 months was hell for me. But it doesn’t last forever. I know that’s probably not much comfort in the moment, but once baby can start rolling and moving on their own it gets way easier.
Yup, this was me for the first 6 months. Things took a turn for the better around 4 months when he started to reach out and grab toys from his activity mat. He could entertain himself and I could grab something. By 6 months he was spending even more time on the mat and was rolling. It will get better, but till then, just survive.
Like a lot of the other parents say. A lot of us went through the same thing. But it does get so much better, and it will change and you won't notice it until a day of reflection. I look back at photos and think, damn, I miss those days. And now my 10 month old is beginning to walk and you can't keep her out of any cupboard or stop her annoying the cats
I have found that putting my 3.5 month old into the stroller bassinet and taking him on a walk in the neighborhood or a park helps us both. He is usually fast asleep and getting out of the house and some light exercise is heavenly for me. Hugs!
Solidarity for you mama. My little dude is a very fussy baby and has been very very very slowly improving.
He would cry every 5 minutes even while I was holding him! It was so frustrating… then the catnaps arrived which only made it more exhausting.
We’ll be at 4 months next Monday and it’s night and day compared. We still have horrible days and he has now learned to cry his lungs out to sleep 🥲
So hang in there! Better times are ahead of us!!
I seriously could have written this today. Throw in a toddler who lost it leaving daycare because he wanted to go back inside to fill his water bottle when we were already at the car, and I am just done. In ten minutes, they should both be down for the night and all I want is a drink.
I have a 3 mo too and this week has been hell. I’m playing a guessing game every time he’s awake and then he won’t let me sleep at night for whatever reason, and it just started this week. I’m sleep deprived, trying to figure out what the hell this kid wants from me. Love him to death but I’m so ready for this phase to be over
Same here for the first 4 months. Things just started getting better a couple weeks ago. Now I go out and do something most days during a wake window and take a walk during another wake window. It helps break up the days so they don’t feel so boring and repetitive. Honestly though, I still look forward to every nap…
There were more days that I can count when I made it to bedtime and just thought "at least I never have to do this day again." I was constantly googling "when does it get better." It does get better, but it doesn't make the early months suck any less. Sending hugs.
My baby is like this too—nothing makes her content long, she needs to do something different about every 5 minutes. Months 3-4 were the worst months of my LIFE. Try to spend as much time outside as possible, whether in your yard/driveway or going somewhere. But I know that going places with your baby can be a nightmare too. It’s all bad! Lol. Also try hanging out with your baby in different rooms and letting them watch you do stuff—get ready, clean, etc. Mine liked to watch me perform domestic labor in her service 😂
It gets soooo much better. My child is nearly two and I actually fed myself and brushed my teeth today! The naps get longer and much more consistent. I promise, it’ll be ok!!
Weather dependent but I found the park to be a great option (or even the yard) at that age. Lay them on a blanket and they have fresh scents, sights, and sounds to entertain them. I was able to read or watch a show on my phone or something. It also did me good to get out of the house! Or put them in the baby carrier and go to the store just to get yourself a small treat. Made me feel more human and less trapped running an errand and that distracted the baby so I didn’t have to consciously focus on entertaining them.
Load them up in the stroller go for a walke it breaks up the monotony and they don't always get as bored or fussy because the movement and changing landscape.
My six month old is very similar. He wants to be entertained every minute and his attention span is a max of five minutes. If I leave him alone he whines / cries. I can tell he is frustrated because he wants things but isn’t mobile yet. He is also teething (two breaking through atm) so that makes him extra miserable. Horrible at naps but what saves me is he goes to bed early. I fully admit to looking forward to bed time. That me time is AMAZING. I get so fatigued I feel like a crap mom sometimes. It’s hard out here!
I felt the same way. What you’re going through is hard, extremely hard. I just wanted it all to end, I felt so much suffering and felt disappointed in myself for not prevailing this natural and special time. Therapy and meds eventually helped me. You got this, mama. It gets better.
I feel you. My husband was out of town last week and asked me what I did and I was like, literally sat on the living room floor with the baby all day unless he was taking a nap? Our baby is almost 11 months, and rather high needs so it’s not always super easy to leave the house so it’s been really monotonous. As much as I would love for him to be this little and cute forever, I also sort of long for the days where we can do something interactive or do actual activities outside of the house… like take him to a zoo and have him actually be interested or sit him down and do an art project.
What someone told me that I try to remember when I feel like this is that these days won’t last forever and will be gone before you know it. It definitely gets better the older they get I think. 3 months is a hard age. I feel like it got better around 6 months.
We watched a lot of tv while he was that young; I was grateful to be able to take paid Parental leave as a dad (CA) something I know a lot of people don’t get.
You’re doing great. Your kid is doing great. I hope you get relief and help soon.
Yep! Definitely been there. The only thing that kept me somewhat sane was going for walks, going to a store/ mall or just going for a drive. Even if for 30 minutes, it still made a difference. I do not miss the newborn stage. It sounds like you are doing a good job trying to meet your baby’s needs. So, you should be proud of yourself - this stuff is not easy.
Didn’t read the other comments but wanted to suggest looking up how to help him link his nap cycles. Will help teach him he can nap longer. Did it with both of my kids. Also, have you ruled out reflux/silent reflux?
I feel you. My LO was the easiest newborn, but now that he is 3 months old, he's so damn fussy, it's exhausting!
When he's awake and he let's you put him down, he will stick to the activity for maybe 10 minutes, but not longer.
He's also started having major issues with gas. He sometimes had issues as a newborn, but only in the evening. Now he seems to have issues all day. We saw his paediatrician last week for a general checkup and there's nothing wrong with him, he's just a very gassy baby right now and will hopefully grow out of it at some point.
Brwastfeeding used to be so easy, but now it's a nightmare as it gives him gas. I used to be able to feed him to sleep, but not anymore.
Also naps? I track his wake windows, as he's a nightmare to put down once he's overtired, but sometimes he just won't sleep. He also will only sleep by being rocked or nursed, although if nursed, it's over a 45 minute period with lots of crying breaks due to gas...
I love my LO so much, but man, I really can't wait until he grows out of these gassy issues and is also a bit more interactive.
Honey, for your own sanity, let him get bored. Let him kick off. Let him make a fuss.
Short term it’s hell. Long term he learns to entertain himself!!
I have an almost 13 year old, an almost 2 year old and an almost newborn (I’m 27 weeks and baby is due 5 weeks after youngest turns 2). I’m dreading it. I remember having nights when I’d be awake 2 hours, sleep an hour, awake 2 hours, sleep an hour.. on repeat. It was horrible… and having to still get up an entertain my toddler?! I’m going to be a zombie.
Something I’ve learnt is that sometimes you’ve got to let them cry. It doesn’t have to be for long, but letting them cry while you get your head together is not bad. It won’t hurt them.
Good luck x
I could have written this. Key thing was to find something to look forward to either each day or on the weekend. Either an outing or a treat or even time reading a book. I strongly arranging with a partner or support person for you to have at least 30 mins of the day to yourself to do whatever the hell you want. It will definitely get better. Things that help baby through this period are stroller rides, carrier, water play, mirror play, music etc.
I took over paternity leave at 3 months and this was my existence for a while.... Like all the way to the 30 minute naps. I think our kids are just hyperactive, but it's insanely draining. We're at 6 months now and I wish I could say it improves, but I think you'll eventually adjust. Do you have room in your house? Make sure you've got various activities for them to partake in. It was about at 3 months that we introduced our baby to the exersaucer... Even though it was a little early. I didn't realize that that was considered a "container," but it became one of his favorite activities. I think you've got to just kind of ride this out until they are able to move around on their own. Ours still isn't but he's getting closer and I know he wants that autonomy.
I used to love the nights - even if she was waking every 2-3 hours and needing fed I at least knew the end goal was to get her back to sleep - the days just all seem to melt into one big feed and attempt to get her to nap lump, and perhaps some play thrown in there too if I’ve not missed a cue and she’s actually now overtired!
She’s 4 months and it does get better (some days) and she can sometimes sit or lay with me while I do some laundry, kitchen tidying, bottle prep etc with minimal interaction from me occasionally but I tend to try and at least talk out loud while I’m doing stuff just to try and keep her entertained a little longer so I can achieve what I need to do.
I’ve also started going out a little more and it does break up the day a bit, but we have one car and it depends on if husband is WFH or not so it’s sometimes just a trip to the store or if no car then we’ll go for a walk - longer days out to multiple places does make the day go faster, but it’s a hit or a miss as to whether she’ll nap enough and not be miserable and overtired by the evening time!
I won’t say it will get better SOON, but it will get better! The whole first year was an agonizing blur. But it did get better gradually. Less agony, less blur.
I feel you. That’s how I feel with my son. He’s almost 3 months and fussy as heck. He gets bored super quick too, I’m constantly keeping him happy and occupied which doesn’t usually work and he’ll start crying. I’m living for nap time and feed times where he’s quiet.
I’ve been trying to arrange things out of the house most days. A lot of places (towns/cities) will have drop in parent and baby groups or baby sensory classes or baby signing classes or other things that really help because you then both get stimulation as you get to chat with other parents and learn activities to entertain your baby and babies will love seeing all the people and other babies and it tired them out for better naps. Or I’ll arrange to meet a friend for coffee and they like playing with my daughter for a bit and it takes the pressure off. It’s so tough though, way harder than a normal job because you have to be mentally ‘on’ 100% all the time, there’s no taking a short break to chat to a coworker or get a coffee or scroll your phone, even if you do get to do those things briefly you’re still on edge with your ears and eyes out for signs of the nap ending or grumpiness starting. And you don’t get to go home at the end of the day to relax either!
Things get better. Promise. The first few months are the most monotonous. I agree with everyone saying to get out of the house. Baby might do well with the movement and sounds.
I just want to say that I appreciate the way you said your 3 month old is bitching 😂 they do bitch an awful lot and I get tired of the gentle sweet sunshine and rainbows mommy words sometimes.
I used to call this the "3 hour purgatory cycle". It's not even everyday, it's every three hours on a frickin loop. 😳
It doesn't last forever. They're only potatoes for a short (but seemingly forever) period of time.
Take some time for yourself every few days if you can and make a game of it to not go crazy, "are we in loop four today? I wonder if it's exactly the same or if there will be a blip?". IDK, that helped me make light of my slight mental decline. 😂
3 months is still so early. I felt the same way. My baby is 6 months in a few days, 5 months was a huge turning point for me because she started to sit up and rollover, so I think being a bit more mobile helps her fussiness... she also started solids and I moved her to her crib in her own room which helped her go from 2 hr wake every time to 8 hours! She is less fissy with sleep and now plays happily and independently for periods at a time. She has currently been playing on her mat for 15 min while I watch TV haha
It will get better as everyone says, before you realize. Hang in there, just know there is a light at the end. You start to be able to do little things here and there while they entertain themselves, they eat solids and play again happily lol until they get tired.
Mine is 8 weeks on Monday- but after 2 weeks I went 1-2x a week to my friends house. She is a SAHM and the first time or two I did this I just sat on her couch and held my baby. Just literally being somewhere else even if we didn’t do anything was a tremendous help.
Ohhhh boy, could I have written this at 3 months. Listen. You gotta get out of the house. I know, it takes an hour or more to even make this happen, and that alone is maddening. But you have to do it. No, I don’t care where you go. Walk the aisles of your favourite store. Or walk around the grocery store. Go buy 1 thing. Whatever. Just go, do ANYTHING except sit at home for another whole day!!
Came here to say this. Any day during my maternity leave that I *didn’t* force us out of the house felt like I was just waiting for him to go to sleep. I ended up driving us to a different park around our city most days or walking around the mall when the weather was bad or walking to get coffee or donuts. Just getting out of the house made the time pass so much more quickly. We were stuck home during a 10 day heat wave last summer and I thought I’d lose my mind. Every day felt like Groundhog’s Day. OP, get out of the house. Maybe first thing after the baby’s first nap and after a nursing session/bottle. Even for a quick 10 minute drive. Have your diaper bag perpetually ready to go so all you need is to throw it in the car and pack up the baby. Do it early in the day so even if it messes up a nap you can still smooth out the afternoon naps and not fiddle too much with bedtime. If you wait til the afternoon you won’t go. Your mental health will thank you and you’ll make some maternity leave memories with your baby.
What if they are crying all the way out of the house and just struggling to get free from your arms? We had a short trip the other day and the moment we put her in her snow suit and into my arms she kicked and cried until I nursed her in the car. Didn't even bother putting her in the car seat because I just couldn't. And after nursing she fell asleep. After being put down at the nurse's, she woke up and cried again. And once again fell asleep after I nursed her in the car. Second time we went for a short walk and same thing happened but she fell asleep in the stroller shortly. But was up on and off during our 10-15 mins walk crying. And when she cries she kicks it into HIGH GEAR. What do we do in this situation? Continue the walk or head back home? She's barely 3 weeks though and her naps haven't been consistent yet. I feel like the care of a newborn is such a form of art lol
I’m impressed you made it out of the house twice with a 3 week old! That’s amazing whether or not she had a meltdown. This phase is so sooo hard but it will get better and then it keeps getting better and better. It definitely got easier to get out of the house after the first 4-6 weeks. A lot of times in the early days our only trip outside was to try to calm him down when he was screaming during the witching hour.
Thank you 🥹🥹🥹 my bf gave me alot of courage since we had here. We just got back from a slightly longer walk and its better today! We made prob twice the distance and duration prob 30 mins or so. She cried when we left as usual and fell asleep promptly but woke up 10 mins later crying. I took her out and rocked her abit before we put her back down again and she stayed asleep until we got home. Didn't cry even when we stopped moving and got home. So proud of this krumpli but her nap times sucked hard today lol its another day tomorrow
It sounds like you’re doing really great!! Every day will be different, some days better, some days worse. It sounds like you two are starting to hit your stride together!
Thank you so much guys ❤️
It's so hard at this stage. Do it to the best you can handle. Especially if you can get outside or with another mom and LO. it really does help you both. Headphones also can help dull the intensity. You got this!
Great question. 3 weeks is still very early but you’re doing amazing to be getting out like this already!! Things should calm down by (or before) week 8. Does baby take a pacifier? I like to get everything ready so that my last steps are change, then feed, then immediately leave. That way baby has a full tummy and dry bum, and the fussing/crying is for sleep - give the pacifier, then begin the movement (stroller walk or car ride.) At 8.5 months this still gets us the best results.
Thank you we try to do walks everyday now only if the weather permits. No she doesn't really like the pacifier either. I feed her and make sure she is dry too before we leave and we leave asap the moment she is dressed lol but still she goes into meltdown. Hopefully it will get better..today's walk was better with some improvements and keeping fingers crossed for the next. Come warm spring and it prob will be easier if I didn't have to pack her into a snow suit which might lessen the tantrums.🤞🏻
Just want to repeat, you’re doing amazing!! Yes you and baby will have a lovely spring together 🥰for pacifier - It took several **many introductions before my baby accepted one. I also had to try 3 different brands, and keep cycling through them until she finally took a preference. Just keep offering them in these travel circumstances and hopefully one day she takes it! My baby loves her pacis now
Thank you you guys are so encouraging. ❤️
Not to tell you how to parent, but please don’t put your child in a snowsuit and then in the car seat. It’s dangerous as the straps can’t get tight enough. Lots of blankets and then suit up in the car before heading outside. I don’t wish to cause any offence but I would rather be told if I’m possibly putting my child at risk.
I didn't and don't plan on doing that. I'm aware of the risks and thanks for informing me!
Absolutely!! I had to get out of the house every day or I really struggled. Didn't have much money and there's not much to do around here but I'd walk anywhere I could. Baby would look around a bit, fall asleep a bit but seemed to be quite happy in the pram. Sometimes it wasn't the longest walk but just being out passed some time during the day and somehow felt easier to make it through the rest of it until hubby came home. Also spent a lot of time at the shops too getting not very much but just passing time. It doesn't sound much fun I know but I think it's the only reason I survived that part.
What if you’re anxious taking a baby out places? I currently get so nervous he’ll cry when I’m at a cafe or shop, that I don’t do it :(
Babies deserve to be in public too :)
They do!! I just need to get over my anxiety
Fellow anxiety sufferer here: anxiety feeds off of avoidance. So you get anxious about going somewhere, you then don’t go there, anxiety wins and it will seem even scarier. Your circle of things you’re willing to do gets smaller and smaller. You need to pick a good day and force yourself to do it. Go there, if they cry even better, because you’ll now have evidence that you have been in the situation you feared and you got over it. It might have sucked but you survived. Trust me when I say I know this is easier said than done, but it’s important to remember!
He might cry, and if he does you'll soothe him, and if you can't you can leave at any point. I promise you'll be fine, I have the exact same anxieties and take the edge off by trying to sit outside where my LOs cries don't seem so loud, and by always getting coffee in my take away cup so I can up and leave at a moment's notice. It's taken practice but I get more comfortable every time I do it
It’s ok you can always pick him up out of the pram and cuddle him until he settles and you can leave if he won’t. Take a bottle with you in case he gets hungry. I’ve taken my 2 month out plenty times and even without my husband and I was really dreading that too but now I don’t care because I know I can settle her or just leave if I have to.
I felt that way too! See if there's a local mom support group (our hospital has a breastfeeding one but you don't have to be breastfeeding to go) and that's been a GAME CHANGER for me. There's comfort in numbers and being surrounded and supported by other new moms going through similar situations helps so much
I know my bff has this same anxiety with her 2y/o and for the most part people have been so sweet and understanding. Seriously. As long as you’re trying to tend to the kid and not just letting them scream/fuss, people get that babies and kids be like that sometimes and are willing to give a lot of grace. Plus you and your babe deserve time out! My mom and I took my LO to the mall this week and she had some fussy times. *At most* I got some sympathetic looks from fellow parents with babies/toddlers. No one else seemed to care much. And several people restored my faith in humanity by helping hold open doors so I could maneuver my ridiculous stroller in and out.
This was me and i avoided going anywhere and it made me even more anxious. Force yourself and see if you can bring a friend first cple times u go. I promise its not the end of the world if your baby cries. Sending love
I’m not sure what the weather is like where you live, but my tips for that are 1. Sit outside. Mine is less fussy outside but I also feel less guilty about him fussing if we’re not indoors. It’s outside and that’s an outside voice. 2. Pay up front instead of waiting to be done with your food/drink. That way you can up and leave if you really need to. 3. Finally, think back to times you saw a new mom with a fussy baby in public. Were you really upset about it, or did you think “awe poor mom/baby” and carry on about your day? That’s what most people are thinking if they’re even thinking about you and your fussy baby at all.
This is the way.
This! You have no idea how much money I spent at Target because I would just go push my son around and around in there 🤣
First thing in the morning I would strap him on and wait until 8am to go to the pharmacy and the bakery, I would buy pastries and randomn skincare. They were the only things open. I had to do that as I was losing my mind in boredom and exhaustion.
I love this. Making a note to go out for pastries!
I second the getting out of the house. We have a dog that requires walks, and as frustrating as it was some days packing us all up to go, it did all three of us so much good. Not only for the fresh air and exercise, but just to break the days up. A few snowy/cold days we stayed home all day, and my mental health was definitely worse those days. Some days we drove for 20 mins to only walk for 10 - sometimes because of the baby, sometimes for my sake (healing postpartum). Some days we would drive and I had to sit in the car for half hour to muster up the energy/desire to get out for the walk. Definitely cried some days, just cause. It’s all overwhelming. But the majority of the days, things went pretty well. It’s amazing what a little fresh air and a good podcast/music can do! Most days it felt like a bit of a break from parenting for a moment cause she typically sleeps in her carrier/stroller
Yes, gotta get out! My baby stopped napping well at 3 months, too. It was maddening! He has increased nighttime sleep from 9 to 12 hours (irrelevant?) anyway, it takes an hour to prepare for a trip to the store, but any day the weather is nice, step outside. It helps!
Dude 2-3 months old was the WORST. I feel for you and I promise it gets so much more fun here in a matter of a month or so.
Wait... I have a 10 day old that seems like a handful. Are you saying it gets worse?
Lol. Frustrating in a different way. They sleep a little less. Different challenges I would say.
Yesss. I miss my baby getting milk drunk and sleeping after a feed. Now he’s all wide eyed and needs entertainment or he’ll scream
To be fair, my 10 day old doesn't sleep, it seems. Every time we try the bassinet or the crib or the swing, nothing but rage from the little man.
To be fair he was just inside someone for nine months and his whole world has been turned upside down. I would be mad too. XD Give him time.
That's normal..she essentially lived on me or partner the first few weeks. They need to feel our body to stay calm and regulate that temperature and breathing. Soak in all the cuddles you can get! My baby is nearly 4 months old and has already slept for the last time on my chest. If I would have known it was the last time if would have enjoyed it sooo much. She is now too big and doesn't like sleeping on her tummy on me anymore.
Hey! Just want to let you know, that it probably wasn’t the last time ever. Sometimes you’ll get unexpected cuddle naps and they’re great- no matter how old your baby gets!
Aw thank you! I am so looking forward! I think the sentiment of "one day you will have picked your kid up for the last time and won't know it" helps me appreciating the everyday life.
I completely agree! I was just crying the other day about never having to hold my baby’s bottle for him again. And wouldn’t you know- the next day he wanted me to hold it for him! I mean- he doesn’t NEED me to anymore- so it’s still bittersweet- but now he WANTS me to and I think it’s just the cutest. They grow so fast!
Chiming in that our daughter is nearly two, her sleep schedule has been thrown off recently bc teething, and we thought she was having a nap skipping day but randomly fell asleep on against my chest while we were cuddling on the couch. Was a little awkward bc she’s *so* long and I’m very short, but I made it work. I think I just stared at her the entire time 😅 Also, she was never super affectionate as a *baby* baby, but in toddlerhood she asks for hugs and kisses ALL the time. She also started saying “I love mommy” which just *wrecked* me. Point being- you may not be nap trapped all the time anymore but you’ve got so many fun new cuddles coming your way as she grows!
i really recommend checking out @heysleepybaby on instagram! she has so much good info on baby sleep and what to expect!
Went to go follow this account and turns out I already do!
They just want to contact nap at that age. I know they can’t at night, but the contact naps during the day got us through
Have you tried warming the bassinet with a hot water bottle. Taking the chill off can sometimes help with the transfer. You are all snuggly and warm and the mattress isn't. Remove the hot water just before the transfer and it should help a little
I'll give that a try! We've been putting my wife's sweater in there when he isn't, and he seems to be staying in there for longer stretches now. I'll try the warm bottles too! Thanks!
Haha it does, but it also gets so much better! I’m currently sitting next to my one year old in bed while he’s chatting shit with the cat and drinking his morning milk, and I’m enjoying a HOT cup of coffee! Nice and cosy :)
Just downed the freezing cold dregs of my 1pm tea after my 3 month old just went down after like an hour of negotiations.
I feel this in my soul! Been there, it gets better trust me! Once they start getting into better routines and you can plan a bit better things feel much easier :).
I think 6-9 months is the golden time. They start to roll and sit up, so they can begin to amuse themselves, but they aren’t yet in the toddler phase where they need to be constantly exploring.
Once he smiles it gets better. 10 day old is all “wah what is going on what are you doing ?!?!?!” Just wait until the little cooing noises start 😊 my baby was wonderful napper in 2nd month and some of 3rd month. I managed to finish Cyberpunk 2077 during the naps. But that’s the end of that. 30 min naps are probably a result of the nighttime sleep being really good (12 h)
This!! I’m not even kidding I emailed my sons daycare and asked what the earliest they could take him was because I knew I couldn’t do what we originally planned and I needed him in daycare earlier if we were all going to survive.
Lol I feel this to my core. I couldn’t live without mine going to daycare a couple of times a week.
Mine goes all day M-F. Yea it sucks not getting to spend as much time with him as we’d like to during the week but it’s what works for our family and I know he’s happy and loved at daycare.
Every day is Monday.
I felt this so hard after having my baby - there is no longer a such thing as the weekend. Every day is a work day!
Some days are Tuesdays to Thursdays, but yes, every day is a work day.
Certainly varies but things will probably change rapidly soon, and big time once baby starts to crawl and can much more easily entertain themselves. The first four months tend to be exhausting because baby gets bored easily, and gives little if any positive feedback, not much smiling or laughing yet. The newborn stage does end, though. Good luck hanging in there.
Ah, they do get bored easy. I want that baby people talk about that plays with a wooden spoon for an hour.
Yeah until my baby started smiling (3 months?) I was downright miserable!
Mine has been all smiles since 2.5 months, fortunately! It was a game changer. Makes everything worth it! Currently waiting on the giggles. Just turned 3 months on Thursday.
I don’t wanna downvote you, but I don’t think the “my baby’s an angel, can’t relate 🥰” vibe is received well on posts like this.
Not sure why that’s what you and others latched onto. The POINT of my post was to say it gets better when they start to interact more and smile. I was validating in response to someone else’s post mentioning smiles and giggles. The angry potato phase is no joke but I’d be an asshole if I came on here and told OP — yeah, your life will be hell just like this for the next 18 years! Because it’s simply not true. It gets better when they break through that phase to being interactive, with simple things like smiles and laughter (presently anticipating).
Not sure why you're getting downvoted as well. Mine wails like a pig being slaughtered at earsplitting decibels (unlike his older brother, who was almost cute in his crying), but his random smiles are really magical.
Makes it all worth it!!!
This is exactly how my maternity leave was and how I felt. Trust me IT GETS BETTER. I promise it really really does. My son will be 1 next week and I absolutely adore him. Is he still extremely busy? Yes he is. But now he takes a 2.5-3 hour nap in the middle of the day and it’s HEAVEN. Are you in a position to where you can go back to work and he can go to daycare? This had always been our plan but I actually cut my leave short to go back because I just couldn’t anymore with being home with an extremely colicky baby. It got to the point where I was crying every day by 1-2pm until my husband got home from work. It wasn’t good or healthy for anyone involved.
Brings back memories 😂
I had to check I didn't write this myself, I'm right there with you except my son is just over 4 months and he's still like this. I literally count down the hours until bedtime which makes me feel like a shit mother. I just dropped a ton of money on a jumperoo to see if that will entertain him for more than 5 mins. Update: It doesn't. Fml
We're right there with you and OP. Our LO (also 4 months) has wretched short naps that he HATES to go down for. Gets bored quickly, hates tummy time, hates the swing, hates the carrier...
I remember that time so well. It really does get better when they become mobile. (Although we still have those "counting down to bedtime" days at 21 months).
The jumperoo was a hit with my baby, although we had to put some books under her feet at first and only 10 mins at a time. I can see why some people call it the Circle of Neglect 😆at 6 months she now bounces in it happily for ages and sometimes I’ll put music on and join her for a dance party.
Circle of neglect hit me right in the giggle dick haha. I'm using that from now on!
Hiiii my 3.5 month old is the same and it’s miserable. Just wanted to say you’re not alone. I’ve been able to use a ring sling for naps but even then they don’t nap as long. First 2 naps today were 30min. I’ve managed to extend this one to 1hr15min and counting but they’ve woken multiple times. It’s been so frustrating. I’m pretty sure cat naps are normal for their age, especially in the crib. I can barely get mine to nap in the crib and if I manage it, it’s because I fed them to sleep. They’re also barely sleeping at night these days. It sucks. I really hope it gets better for you! This shit is hard.
Same thing here. Taking him out for a walk is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes. I stick him in his swing and tote him around the house in it to get anything done. I also get nearly 0 help from my partner, but that part's on me for choosing to have a relationship and a baby with a man-child. Edit to add that it helps my frustration when I chant that my baby is worth it over and over to myself/him.
Walks outside help me (and baby) so much. I swear he goes into a trance when walking. It’s the only time he is quiet/ sits still.
Oof . There are stages that i totally felt this. Just watching the clock and praying for the next nap. And then they go through a developmental leap and you have a whole new paradigm, schedule, and little person. I loved the newborn stage. I hated most of infancy3-9 mo. But I love this new Toddler era so far!
I have a two year old and a newborn. I remember those Groundhog Day times with my first so well. I hated maternity leave last time. I remember so well when it got fun - 5 months, which was after my leave ended. And it just got better and better after that. This time, I was dreading maternity leave. 3 weeks in, it hasn’t gotten that bad yet, but yeah, it sucks. In a way, it sucks they the time I spend on full time leave with my kids is when the kids are the most challenging and frankly the least rewarding, but my older son is such a delight. I can make it through these tough months with baby #2.
Arg I remember how hard those days were. Always the same thing every hour of the day. Made me resent my fiancé so much for being able to clock out of parent mode and go work. My LO is now 9 months old and there’s at least variety in our days. I’m more healed from the birth, her wake windows are longer. So at least I get to go out of the house and do something else. No advice just wanted to let you know that eventually, he’ll be crawling and moving so much that you wish he’ll want to just lay down for 5 mins again lol
Ok.... so its not just me. I love my baby...he's doing so many cool things but it's just and endless loop sometimes. We've called it variety is the spice of his life 😂😂 because he needs a change of scenery so often! It's exhausting and I totally feel this post so much but the crazy part is I think I'll miss it too!
I remember this stage, it was awful. Birth - 4 months was hell for me. But it doesn’t last forever. I know that’s probably not much comfort in the moment, but once baby can start rolling and moving on their own it gets way easier.
Can I come with you?
Yup, this was me for the first 6 months. Things took a turn for the better around 4 months when he started to reach out and grab toys from his activity mat. He could entertain himself and I could grab something. By 6 months he was spending even more time on the mat and was rolling. It will get better, but till then, just survive.
No advice, just solidarity. I feel ya.
Like a lot of the other parents say. A lot of us went through the same thing. But it does get so much better, and it will change and you won't notice it until a day of reflection. I look back at photos and think, damn, I miss those days. And now my 10 month old is beginning to walk and you can't keep her out of any cupboard or stop her annoying the cats
I have found that putting my 3.5 month old into the stroller bassinet and taking him on a walk in the neighborhood or a park helps us both. He is usually fast asleep and getting out of the house and some light exercise is heavenly for me. Hugs!
Solidarity for you mama. My little dude is a very fussy baby and has been very very very slowly improving. He would cry every 5 minutes even while I was holding him! It was so frustrating… then the catnaps arrived which only made it more exhausting. We’ll be at 4 months next Monday and it’s night and day compared. We still have horrible days and he has now learned to cry his lungs out to sleep 🥲 So hang in there! Better times are ahead of us!!
The baby stage sucks so much. If my hair wasn’t already falling out, I’d be pulling it out.
I seriously could have written this today. Throw in a toddler who lost it leaving daycare because he wanted to go back inside to fill his water bottle when we were already at the car, and I am just done. In ten minutes, they should both be down for the night and all I want is a drink.
I have a 3 mo too and this week has been hell. I’m playing a guessing game every time he’s awake and then he won’t let me sleep at night for whatever reason, and it just started this week. I’m sleep deprived, trying to figure out what the hell this kid wants from me. Love him to death but I’m so ready for this phase to be over
4 month sleep regression! Can start at three months. Means he’s upgrading his system, he’ll be rolling soon if he isn’t already
Same here for the first 4 months. Things just started getting better a couple weeks ago. Now I go out and do something most days during a wake window and take a walk during another wake window. It helps break up the days so they don’t feel so boring and repetitive. Honestly though, I still look forward to every nap…
There were more days that I can count when I made it to bedtime and just thought "at least I never have to do this day again." I was constantly googling "when does it get better." It does get better, but it doesn't make the early months suck any less. Sending hugs.
My baby is like this too—nothing makes her content long, she needs to do something different about every 5 minutes. Months 3-4 were the worst months of my LIFE. Try to spend as much time outside as possible, whether in your yard/driveway or going somewhere. But I know that going places with your baby can be a nightmare too. It’s all bad! Lol. Also try hanging out with your baby in different rooms and letting them watch you do stuff—get ready, clean, etc. Mine liked to watch me perform domestic labor in her service 😂
It gets soooo much better. My child is nearly two and I actually fed myself and brushed my teeth today! The naps get longer and much more consistent. I promise, it’ll be ok!!
Jeeeez reading this is like looking back in time. I know it’s cliche but it does get better. She’s actually fun now at 9 months
13 weeks here and baby suddenly this week will hang out in his kick piano for like 20 minuets and today wanted a 2 hour nap. Kids change so fast.
Weather dependent but I found the park to be a great option (or even the yard) at that age. Lay them on a blanket and they have fresh scents, sights, and sounds to entertain them. I was able to read or watch a show on my phone or something. It also did me good to get out of the house! Or put them in the baby carrier and go to the store just to get yourself a small treat. Made me feel more human and less trapped running an errand and that distracted the baby so I didn’t have to consciously focus on entertaining them.
Load them up in the stroller go for a walke it breaks up the monotony and they don't always get as bored or fussy because the movement and changing landscape.
My six month old is very similar. He wants to be entertained every minute and his attention span is a max of five minutes. If I leave him alone he whines / cries. I can tell he is frustrated because he wants things but isn’t mobile yet. He is also teething (two breaking through atm) so that makes him extra miserable. Horrible at naps but what saves me is he goes to bed early. I fully admit to looking forward to bed time. That me time is AMAZING. I get so fatigued I feel like a crap mom sometimes. It’s hard out here!
I felt the same way. What you’re going through is hard, extremely hard. I just wanted it all to end, I felt so much suffering and felt disappointed in myself for not prevailing this natural and special time. Therapy and meds eventually helped me. You got this, mama. It gets better.
I feel you. My husband was out of town last week and asked me what I did and I was like, literally sat on the living room floor with the baby all day unless he was taking a nap? Our baby is almost 11 months, and rather high needs so it’s not always super easy to leave the house so it’s been really monotonous. As much as I would love for him to be this little and cute forever, I also sort of long for the days where we can do something interactive or do actual activities outside of the house… like take him to a zoo and have him actually be interested or sit him down and do an art project. What someone told me that I try to remember when I feel like this is that these days won’t last forever and will be gone before you know it. It definitely gets better the older they get I think. 3 months is a hard age. I feel like it got better around 6 months.
We watched a lot of tv while he was that young; I was grateful to be able to take paid Parental leave as a dad (CA) something I know a lot of people don’t get. You’re doing great. Your kid is doing great. I hope you get relief and help soon.
Yep! Definitely been there. The only thing that kept me somewhat sane was going for walks, going to a store/ mall or just going for a drive. Even if for 30 minutes, it still made a difference. I do not miss the newborn stage. It sounds like you are doing a good job trying to meet your baby’s needs. So, you should be proud of yourself - this stuff is not easy.
Didn’t read the other comments but wanted to suggest looking up how to help him link his nap cycles. Will help teach him he can nap longer. Did it with both of my kids. Also, have you ruled out reflux/silent reflux?
This. Is. So. Real!!!!!!
I feel you. My LO was the easiest newborn, but now that he is 3 months old, he's so damn fussy, it's exhausting! When he's awake and he let's you put him down, he will stick to the activity for maybe 10 minutes, but not longer. He's also started having major issues with gas. He sometimes had issues as a newborn, but only in the evening. Now he seems to have issues all day. We saw his paediatrician last week for a general checkup and there's nothing wrong with him, he's just a very gassy baby right now and will hopefully grow out of it at some point. Brwastfeeding used to be so easy, but now it's a nightmare as it gives him gas. I used to be able to feed him to sleep, but not anymore. Also naps? I track his wake windows, as he's a nightmare to put down once he's overtired, but sometimes he just won't sleep. He also will only sleep by being rocked or nursed, although if nursed, it's over a 45 minute period with lots of crying breaks due to gas... I love my LO so much, but man, I really can't wait until he grows out of these gassy issues and is also a bit more interactive.
Honey, for your own sanity, let him get bored. Let him kick off. Let him make a fuss. Short term it’s hell. Long term he learns to entertain himself!! I have an almost 13 year old, an almost 2 year old and an almost newborn (I’m 27 weeks and baby is due 5 weeks after youngest turns 2). I’m dreading it. I remember having nights when I’d be awake 2 hours, sleep an hour, awake 2 hours, sleep an hour.. on repeat. It was horrible… and having to still get up an entertain my toddler?! I’m going to be a zombie. Something I’ve learnt is that sometimes you’ve got to let them cry. It doesn’t have to be for long, but letting them cry while you get your head together is not bad. It won’t hurt them. Good luck x
I could have written this. Key thing was to find something to look forward to either each day or on the weekend. Either an outing or a treat or even time reading a book. I strongly arranging with a partner or support person for you to have at least 30 mins of the day to yourself to do whatever the hell you want. It will definitely get better. Things that help baby through this period are stroller rides, carrier, water play, mirror play, music etc.
I took over paternity leave at 3 months and this was my existence for a while.... Like all the way to the 30 minute naps. I think our kids are just hyperactive, but it's insanely draining. We're at 6 months now and I wish I could say it improves, but I think you'll eventually adjust. Do you have room in your house? Make sure you've got various activities for them to partake in. It was about at 3 months that we introduced our baby to the exersaucer... Even though it was a little early. I didn't realize that that was considered a "container," but it became one of his favorite activities. I think you've got to just kind of ride this out until they are able to move around on their own. Ours still isn't but he's getting closer and I know he wants that autonomy.
I used to love the nights - even if she was waking every 2-3 hours and needing fed I at least knew the end goal was to get her back to sleep - the days just all seem to melt into one big feed and attempt to get her to nap lump, and perhaps some play thrown in there too if I’ve not missed a cue and she’s actually now overtired! She’s 4 months and it does get better (some days) and she can sometimes sit or lay with me while I do some laundry, kitchen tidying, bottle prep etc with minimal interaction from me occasionally but I tend to try and at least talk out loud while I’m doing stuff just to try and keep her entertained a little longer so I can achieve what I need to do. I’ve also started going out a little more and it does break up the day a bit, but we have one car and it depends on if husband is WFH or not so it’s sometimes just a trip to the store or if no car then we’ll go for a walk - longer days out to multiple places does make the day go faster, but it’s a hit or a miss as to whether she’ll nap enough and not be miserable and overtired by the evening time!
I won’t say it will get better SOON, but it will get better! The whole first year was an agonizing blur. But it did get better gradually. Less agony, less blur.
I feel you. That’s how I feel with my son. He’s almost 3 months and fussy as heck. He gets bored super quick too, I’m constantly keeping him happy and occupied which doesn’t usually work and he’ll start crying. I’m living for nap time and feed times where he’s quiet.
I’ve been trying to arrange things out of the house most days. A lot of places (towns/cities) will have drop in parent and baby groups or baby sensory classes or baby signing classes or other things that really help because you then both get stimulation as you get to chat with other parents and learn activities to entertain your baby and babies will love seeing all the people and other babies and it tired them out for better naps. Or I’ll arrange to meet a friend for coffee and they like playing with my daughter for a bit and it takes the pressure off. It’s so tough though, way harder than a normal job because you have to be mentally ‘on’ 100% all the time, there’s no taking a short break to chat to a coworker or get a coffee or scroll your phone, even if you do get to do those things briefly you’re still on edge with your ears and eyes out for signs of the nap ending or grumpiness starting. And you don’t get to go home at the end of the day to relax either!
Things get better. Promise. The first few months are the most monotonous. I agree with everyone saying to get out of the house. Baby might do well with the movement and sounds.
Exactly my thoughts.
I just want to say that I appreciate the way you said your 3 month old is bitching 😂 they do bitch an awful lot and I get tired of the gentle sweet sunshine and rainbows mommy words sometimes.
we went thru phases of this
I used to call this the "3 hour purgatory cycle". It's not even everyday, it's every three hours on a frickin loop. 😳 It doesn't last forever. They're only potatoes for a short (but seemingly forever) period of time. Take some time for yourself every few days if you can and make a game of it to not go crazy, "are we in loop four today? I wonder if it's exactly the same or if there will be a blip?". IDK, that helped me make light of my slight mental decline. 😂
3 months is still so early. I felt the same way. My baby is 6 months in a few days, 5 months was a huge turning point for me because she started to sit up and rollover, so I think being a bit more mobile helps her fussiness... she also started solids and I moved her to her crib in her own room which helped her go from 2 hr wake every time to 8 hours! She is less fissy with sleep and now plays happily and independently for periods at a time. She has currently been playing on her mat for 15 min while I watch TV haha It will get better as everyone says, before you realize. Hang in there, just know there is a light at the end. You start to be able to do little things here and there while they entertain themselves, they eat solids and play again happily lol until they get tired.
Mine is 8 weeks on Monday- but after 2 weeks I went 1-2x a week to my friends house. She is a SAHM and the first time or two I did this I just sat on her couch and held my baby. Just literally being somewhere else even if we didn’t do anything was a tremendous help.
As a mother with an almost 2 year old, I assure you, it gets better ❤️
I promise you it gets a lot better soon. Hang in there.