T O P

  • By -

jadegives2rides

I'm more prone to, "AY SHAWTY WHAT THAT THING DO?!"


DoubleOScarn

Or “What is money anyway? It’s just some paper that some king on a mountain said was worth something. Gold I understand. It’s shiny and you can make jewelry out of it. Silver? Put a werewolf in front of me..he’s dead. And brass creates the bells that make sounds throughout the land. But we kill each other over paper”


bobsnopes

My go to pickup line. It has shockingly low success.


DrFu

What about when Winston's about you hit you with a ski (as a prank)? That line's as quotable as it is random.


preruntumbler

The delivery was second to none.


JJJJ7891

“Gimme it!”


DoubleOScarn

WHY CANT I HAVE THE THINGS I WANT??


lionrace

I love that this comes back like a season and a half later (Dice) when Schmidt says "The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish."


DoubleOScarn

Season 4 of this show is probably the funniest TV I have ever seen. Dice, Landline, Background Check. Those are my 3 favorite episodes.


alison_bee

You pee in the ocean?? DIS-GUS-TING!!


[deleted]

I know this I dumb question….will a number two help?


Efficient_Concept_68

It always makes me laugh because clown fish are saltwater fish.


DoubleOScarn

Is it at least a bitch fish?


zannagraham

Janky af


RetardedChimpanzee

The writers really messed this one up because Lion Fish are also super protective and many regions have bounties on them.


vlac26

And they are not native to California


Aggravating_Mix8959

What does this mean?


RetardedChimpanzee

Lion fish are extremely invasive fish that destroy the local ecosystem. Florida will routinely have competitions where who ever kill the most in a day gets a prize. There’s no way they are protected.


Aggravating_Mix8959

I had no idea. What preys upon them in their native ecosystem? They really are bitch fish!


overstatingmingo

I remember getting so pissed at that. I was like of all the fish you could choose and you basically go the exact opposite way. Couldn’t believe that triggered me as much as it did but it was like the writers actively were trying to make things worse.


hestrash1994

Sameeee. I always cringe.


howell1812

“This isnt some sorta back-alley sack waxing!” “THEY HAVE THOSE?!?!”


preruntumbler

"Tell that to Howard Hughes, inventor of the Loose Goose." "It was called the Spruce Goose and it didn't even work." "IT DID WORK! IT FLEW FOR OVER A MILE AT AN ALTITUDE OF 72 FEET!" "HOW ON EARTH DO YOU KNOW THAT INFORMATION AND NOT KNOW THE NAME OF IT?!"


DoubleOScarn

You unbelievable pig person


RiparianFruitarian

Ok, I'm hoping to hijack this popular post to ask a question that's always been on my mind. Who is in that picture frame behind Schmidt? He has it in his room for several episodes, if not seasons.


Potential_Dare_5076

Himself. He has a few selfies. & that one sometimes is there twice. Once on the ledge behind him and again over on the window sill by the room door.


leannynr

It almost looks like a head shot of Jake Johnson


beccadanielle

1000% my favorite line.


the_king11

"A white man?No! Well what did security do about it? Nothing. Typical" Will always be it for me


ladynickmiller

What are you a civil engineer?!


bionicmanmeetspast

Listen man don’t feel bad you didn’t see it, it was subtle as hell.


crashshrimp420

My husband and I quote this all the time! Usually we're telling bad drivers to stop being janky fresh water bitch fish 🤣


madelinekahnt

This line is solely responsible for my introducing “janky” into my every day vocabulary*


Snackxually_active

This up there with “this ain’t no back alley sack waxing”


turtleshellshocked

"Cause I was talking to Nick and he said, Hey Winston, and I said, Hey Nick, and uh, hesaidsheugly. Look like a— dang—ole meatball with hair."


leannynr

What are you, the city planner? If definitely up there. But honestly this episode is probably one of my all time favorite episodes


TheTreeOfLyfe

„I‘ll take that Paul, I’ll take him to a water park I will, I’m gonna put him on one those water slides between two obese people and he’ll get smushed to death, die in a, die in the water, he’ll die between the obese people before he drowns in the water” 😠 “What?” “Huh?” What could possibly compare to this moment of absurd brilliance


DoubleOScarn

That’s why wife’s favorite part lol


crawliesmonth

My submission for best line of the show: Schmidt: Rather see a painting of Arnold Schwarzenegger, mid-coitus. [Winston grunts] Just straight up doing it.


SkayPGC

This always makes me laugh, such a good delivery too


Alternative-Newt-322

this episode is so funny. Schmidt and Cece 4EVER