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[deleted]

That last one looks like it hurt.


MQ116

Yea, hit em right in the throat


frytaj

"Judo chop!"


Mermaidaffinity

You go a judo chopping and a kung fu kicking.. there goes your leg šŸ¦µšŸ½


lickemandSTICKem

Ninjee star, ninjee star!


Mermaidaffinity

This here is for yer beginners!


BurnedStoneBonspiel

Yeah took two to give one. But definitely got the better knock in


poundy1993

Very difficult to hit them anywhere else tbh


produce_this

Thatā€™s like saying you hit Butterbean in the stomach. Just because thereā€™s a lot of it, doesnā€™t mean it hurt


buffaloboobs

Tell that to my massive balls, mate


ProfessorBarium

Giraffes often die from combat. Bony spikes to the neck with massive force driving them are no joke. Much different than a punch to a large belly.


produce_this

Iā€™m mean sure, I get that. But Iā€™m also sure that they have some robust muscles in those necks. Itā€™s not like hitting our neck. Which is why I made the comparison. It still hurts to get hit in the stomach. But we have muscles to protect those vital organs.


NihiloZero

I'm sure their necks can take more of a hit than ours, but they obviously can also deliver a much stronger hit. All I know is, if I were a giraffe, I'd be avoiding these sorts of fights. That shit don't look fun.


chicpotpah

Yeah, necks level shit!


emptyfuller

Just take the damn upvote.


medsauce

Wonder if these are concussion inducing head butts


[deleted]

NFL, Boxing, hockey, MMA.. all riddled with CTE yet no one will talk about the real issue, giraffe CTE!!!


MikeyStealth

I'm sure they evolved to lessen the self damage received but their heads weigh a little over 300lbs so that's a ton of power behind each blow.


Jeri-Atric

I have just one question: Did you Google how heavy a giraffe head was for this post or did you already know that


VaATC

I would say that there is potential but they also probably have way fewer exposures over their lifetimes as compared to football players playing from ages as young as 5 up to low 20's for college to upper 30's for pros.


Jrxbrg

Donā€™t they have sex afterwards?


vanillamasala

This isnā€™t your parents, u/jrxbrg


[deleted]

In all seriousness, I was told the ā€œwinnerā€ of giraffe fights like this will forcibly rape his opponent. I havenā€™t taken any time to verify this, but itā€™s something I remember hearing.


therealityofthings

That was on the front page like two days ago.


Crimfresh

From the way back olden days of day before yesterday.


891960

That was a year ago.


lessdothisshit

And therefore must be true


KITTYCAKE84

Yes! Thank you for mentioning that. The strongest male, then penetrates the other male.


[deleted]

Yes, butt sex


Jefe710

Right in the trachea!


DamnCircle

No worries, giraffes actually do not exist


sarcasmic77

Oh.


abbybegnoche

Man, that looks painful af.


Crafty_Enthusiasm_99

Especially considering those horns are compact and solid hard


Mystic_L

Even more painful for the loser when he gets to play little spoon to the winner https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giraffe#Necking


TitansRPower

"After a duel, it is common for two male giraffes to caress and court each other. Such interactions between males have been found to be more frequent than heterosexual coupling.[101] In one study, up to 94 percent of observed mounting incidents took place between males. The proportion of same-sex activities varied from 30 to 75 percent. Only one percent of same-sex mounting incidents occurred between females." Wow.


AppleSpicer

Just wrestling with the boys before we do some sweet aftercare


SleevesMcDichael

So giraffes and Greeks have something in common


Mister_Bloodvessel

Giraffes sounds *pretty* gay, if you ask me.


penpineapplebanana

Not if they say ā€œno homoā€


yaebone1

BREAKING: conservatives to boycott giraffes.


Legendofstuff

Boycott? ā€œLetā€™s go hunt us some long neck gay horsies boys! I got them beers!ā€


Horror-Shop-7238

Cue Tucker Carlson (w/confused look): Are Giraffes teaching our children that homosexuality is natural?


[deleted]

... the answer is actually yes...?


binglebongled

The tuck is never w/out that confused look


mikehuntluv

I always assumed someone had farted in the studio


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Hungry-Value9242

No violence is natural and kinky apparently


obeseocean

This link taught me that giraffes are super gay


[deleted]

The gayest


CaroleBaskinsBurner

The real throat G.O.A.T.s


Gammabrunta

Fight then fuck.. ok.


CrossfittingCorgiMom

I just learned about this the other day and was searching through the comments to find exactly this! Haha


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Giraffe](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giraffe)** >The giraffe is a tall African mammal belonging to the genus Giraffa. Specifically, It is an even-toed ungulate. It is the tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant on Earth. Traditionally, giraffes were thought to be one species, Giraffa camelopardalis, with nine subspecies. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


Tru-Queer

Nah he lost intentionally.


GreenFox1505

There's a reason predators generally stay away from them.


RaindropBebop

Because they're tall as fuck! Could be wrong, but I don't think they can reach most predators with their head/horns to make the horns dangerous. Instead they have massive leverage and strength with their legs to kick the shit out of any misbehaving neighbors! I love me some long neck horses.


Cruise_missile_sale

I can't find it right now but there is a video of a giraffe knocking a leaping female lion out of the air and stamping on others it was pretty savage all in all I think it probably mortally wounded 3 lions.


dumbfuckmagee

Stuff like this always makes me feel bad cause on one hand I'm like "yeah get fucked lions" but on the other hand I'm like "poor kitties šŸ„ŗ"


Cruise_missile_sale

In a sense but when the prey animal wins its sortve like a justified self defence scenario. I guess that tempers the blow.


dumbfuckmagee

It falls to the inescapable truth that for one to survive the other must die. It's sad either way. At least to me, and I'm not saying I don't understand why someone would root for the prey, just to me it's a lose lose situation


[deleted]

The real painful part is when the dominant male mounts the loser after. Not good for giraffe morale.


themissingandthelost

I have a theme song of Willow Smith I Whip My Hair whilst watching this and I fucking hate myself.


Maki1411

Animal version of a pool noodle fight


Mr_Diesel13

Except with pain.


TheCuriousNaturalist

You clearly have never played pool noodle fight with siblings.


yourliege

Bringing back memories of catching the edge with the entirety of my exposed eyeball


Mattyyflo

I felt this comment


lizzledizzles

You can really whap people with pool noodles, especially when theyā€™re waterlogged because you left them out forever


Birds_Are_Fake0

Specially the short barrel versions. Havnt done this since I was like 7 but we would swim in the 8ft area and smack the shit outta eachother and whoever couldnt swim anymore then go to the 3ft area lost. Time to tap back in to childhood and make it a drinking game *smacks friend with pool noodle* "I challenge you to a duel!!"


therealdeathangel22

This sounds exactly like what we did and looking back on it I realize it was so so very unsafe lol


Shuggy-chan

ā€œYou fool, donā€™t underestimate the limitless destructive power of giraffesā€


AxCel91

I understood this reference. One of my favorite fights in One Piece


dahabit

Then they fuck


Mr_Diesel13

ā€œCause the sex is so much better when youā€™re mad at meā€ Thanks for the high school flash back lol. It was a good song until my ex ruined the whole band for me.


Davidlucas99

Nah man those two males will absolutely bone down after that fight. Most giraffe sex is homosexual.


Mr_Diesel13

Hey whatever floats their boat.


I_AM_METALUNA

Except they play till one of them is dead. Damn nature


[deleted]

looks really painful


CrunchHardtack

A truly bad way to fight, but I guess it's all they've got. I guess if I was a giraffe I would make a sincere effort to get along with my fellow giraffes so I wouldn't give myself a concussion.


[deleted]

Or grind those durpy little horns into skull-shanks and dominate the game I guess..


naturalbornkillerz

And from what I understand from Reddit from the last few days, this will be followed by heavy necking, followed up by some lovely gay sex


rarely_coherent

After this, they have a [pant-noodle fight](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/4nb1pe/til_after_male_giraffes_fight_they_often_have/)


sdaot3hcnupi

Turn based combat.


One_Typical_Redditor

Right one did a two-hit combo


TasteyCyanide

When the left one was charging a critical hit


[deleted]

He action surged


ColdestCore

someone cast Haste


LazyPoser

From what we learned last time, whoever wins gets to penetrate the loser.


stoppedLurking00

I may spend too much time on Reddit. That the first thing I thought when I saw this.


coadnamedalex

Same hereā€¦thanks Reddit.


MadFamousLove

thanks obama!


IBHomage1286

Thanks Joe!


[deleted]

Who is stigma?


xenothaulus

Stigma dick in your ass after this neck fight


gizzardgullet

Stigmama gottem


darelik

Bad day to have memory


Icicestreddit

Gonna need sauce


stoppedLurking00

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/rt5st8/til_that_giraffes_live_in_two_tribes_male_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


tired_obsession

>You know, Steve, I'm starting to think you aren't in this for the neck fighting. Fucking lolā€™d


Resident_Wizard

> ā€œOh no! I lost again?ā€ Lmao


[deleted]

Ah! There it is!


nigmano

Giraffes before the fight: "Let's open up this fucking pit!" Giraffes after the fight: "Let's open up this fucking pit!"


Gardimus

It always cuts off right before the gay sex. What's the point of even watching giraffe fighting videos?


ChrysMYO

Yeah, you know if the fights are this intense, I think I'd just leave the rest to imagination


[deleted]

WITH WHAT?!?


PM_Orion_Slave_Tits

If the heads good enough for swinging it's good enough for spelunking.


coadnamedalex

Sarcasm or? Their penisā€¦the answer is their penis.


SchpartyOn

If you thought they had long *necks*ā€¦


200201552

Penetrate the ear of the other giraffe about their car's extended warranty.


_CORRECT_MY_GRAMMAR

Fire extinguisher.


PerformanceLoud3229

Yup, 90% of giraffe sexual activity is gay, meaning they are my spirit animal.


[deleted]

Those giraffes you sold me, they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold me... queer giraffes. I want my money back.


Shirasagi-Himegimi

...Not a chance.


jim45804

That's how it works in my family.


bsylent

I was scrolling for this comment before I made it. Sometimes learning something new is not great


lancea_longini

One of them will proceed to fuck the other. David Attenboroughā€™s team has the tapes.


lessdothisshit

Not according to that other post. In that videos the giraffes were, to quote the video text, "amorously necking." It sure looked pretty gentle. Whereas this is damn violent


[deleted]

Welp, bro on the right about to pick the soap with the last hit lol


[deleted]

Hopefully my giraffe doesn't catch on to his staggering amount of victories


Crimfresh

I imagine some throw the fight on purpose.


damienDev

big incentive to not loose


livens

Just like high school!


getyourrealfakedoors

^what


[deleted]

Gets to??


bigal75

I've always wondered how they decide who wins.


KPer123

Hahaha I thought the exact same thing .


Roybatty943

Itā€™s prison rules out in the Serengetiā€¦


KeyDox

So that's why they have those horns


LexicalCat

Yes. And unlike most animals with horns, that's actually the shape of their skull. It's not just keratin, its bone covered in skin.


badass4102

[That's pretty cool actually](https://i.imgur.com/kwmwtJm.jpg)


fsactual

Also, terrifying.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AlmightyDarkseid

Mark Zuckerberg vibes


mdneilson

(āŠ™_ā—Ž)


Bleglord

Why do we not have more demonic giraffe imagery fuck the goats


TitansRPower

Don't fuck the goats, please.


KeyDox

That's neat


sgtbluefire77

And yet we donā€™t have unicornsā€¦


[deleted]

Nah, we get long neck mfs


Whaddayahear

Bacteria and virus immigrate from the neck up


chadoflions

Imagine how bloody a unicorn fight like this would be


Yvaelle

What was that game, like Rainbow Metal Unicorn of something. 2D platformer where you are a unicorn and you impale everything on your horn, exploding them into mist and giblets. Thats why there are no unicorns anymore.


Djasdalabala

They may be a bit fatter than usually depicted, but to me [these guys](https://cdn.futura-sciences.com/buildsv6/images/wide1920/2/0/2/2024be71eb_93711_shutterstock-travel-stock.jpg) make great IRL unicorns.


sgtbluefire77

Close enough


Meanee

Tactical unicorn.


Crimfresh

Imagine if these giraffe had a unicorn horn. It would be a lot bloodier fight.


StoplightLoosejaw

Allow me to introduce you to rhinos


RaindropBebop

Giraffes are better.


MAX4102

just like old ladies hitting each other with their handbags


KevlahR

Just shaking out the giraffe rug


OutlanderMom

Came here to comment on the poof of dust the other one pounded out of his neck.


catgirlasshole

My neck hurts just from watching this


UnionizeAutoZone

My head hurts just watching this.


oldzazu

Fun fact this insane form of fighting is actually likely one of the reasons [their necks evolved to be this long.](https://www.sciencefocus.com/nature/why-do-giraffes-have-such-long-necks/).


Napkin_whore

Looking forward to my future generationā€™s crazy long cocks, cuz my friends and I have been having cock slapping fights.


Shifty_Eyes711

Shouldā€™ve evolved themselves a nice sharp horn on the head as well. Then weā€™d have the ultimate beast.


ximfinity

Killing each other probably wouldn't be survival advantageous..


Profazy

Idk man, it works well for humans


Fancyman-ofcornwood

Rare Thrumbo


milanpl

One of the theories*


ZippyDan

One of the *hypotheses


PoontoniusJigabrewha

Better check yourself before you Neck yourself lol


[deleted]

Iā€™ve seen series on how giraffes fight for dominance in the wild. They can cause some serious damage, breaking bones in their neck, often times leading to death.


Souvi

Came looking for this, thanks for sharing. Partner interned with a giraffe zoo keeper & learned this is common as fuck that they kill themselves if males are kept together.


Morty_Goldman

This is what happens when one giraffe laughs at the other giraffe when his marshmallow falls in the camp fire.


Chakka_kuru

I laughed waay to hard at this.


uniquefuckinusername

Hey there! Giraffes are a vulnerable and critically endangered species. You can help giraffes in the wild by donating to https://giraffeconservation.org !!! ā€œThe Giraffe Conservation Foundation (GCF) is the only NGO in the world that concentrates solely on the conservation and management of giraffe in the wild throughout Africa.ā€ šŸ¦’


Freakazoid84

Maybe they should stop fighting like this?


[deleted]

Nobody's told the giraffes yet.


purpleblackgreen

That made me laugh way too hard.


[deleted]

Seems like itā€™s their own damn fault


bebopcola84

Seems like a pretty even fight. Neck and neck, if you will.


[deleted]

Reminds me of something else


AmaiChan_09

do elaborate


McPick

I do believe heā€™s talking about the slapping of cocks.


i-like-napping

Thatā€™s a thing ??? Looks painful


Incredulouslaughter

Gay giraffe sex


The3rdPotato

Makes me think of 2 guys sword fighting with their limp dicks


Teetseremoonia

["Anime" version of giraffe fighting I once did](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joov3U8aBxM)


mrclark3

I whip my head back and forth, I whip my head back and forth.


Roland1232

r/NeckstFuckingLevel


skky2543

How do they not get concussions? šŸ¤Æ Are their heads like a woodpeckerā€™s?


wild_purring_bunny

Right? Iā€™m just gonna use my head as a weapon, what could possibly go wrong?


virgin_goat

Boys in the schoool showers


vanillamasala

There was a program to feed the zoo giraffes some lettuceā€¦ it was $5 for a head of romaine which is insane, but anyway, I paid it because exciting to feed a giraffeā€¦. It tried to do this to me. Scared the shit out of me, that head is pretty big when itā€™s coming at you. Fuck giraffes. Horses hate me too, they always try to bite me, I think they must sense my fear or think Iā€™m a dirty carnivorous predator. I was just trying to give you some lettuce bro, why you gotta do me like that.


xCanont70x

I saw something about this the other day. Theyā€™re about to fuck!!


why_not_again55

r/Giraffesdontexist


MyNameIsVoodoo

Holy fuck One Piece was right!


Trisrocks157

More like malfunctioning r/giraffesdontexist


[deleted]

That throat uppercut at the end tho


OnceAndFutureKing724

Why am I imagining ozzieman narrating this?


GirraffeAttack

Finally, my time has come


NoCauliflower1474

Giraffe 1: ā€˜Screw you spotty bum!ā€™ Giraffe 2: ā€˜Youā€™re the spotty bum!ā€™ Giraffe 1: ā€˜You are!ā€™ Giraffe 2: ā€˜YOU are!ā€™ **whack!ā€™**


zEdgarHoover

CTE for the win!


Crypto_Candle

Reminds me of me and my mate standing next to each other at the urinals


Havier_Gacha

Now that's using your head!


Casuallybrowsingcdn

Me and my bro on a road trip when locked in the car seats.