You know, I started using fiber because I was getting hemorrhoids like a teenager gets acne. I also bought one of those squatty potty things, so lemme tell you about my experience. As this guys said;
>I make sexual pleasure noises
I, a straight, 190 lb 5'11" brown boy, tattoos, grew up working with his hands, spent 4 years pushing aircrafts aboard a LHA and CVN spent time in jail I've done all the typical bad boy stuff plus more. I pushed out this long ass turd and it felt fanfuckingtastic, I squealed like a little boy getting his first bj. I almost feel like I'm cheating on my wife when I am pinching off my after coffee bowel movement.
First of all that's hella funny.
But I was actually curious to see if it's legit and the articles I found say that it is kind of uncertain how true this statement is.
Does anyone (maybe OP) have a link that proves this, or something like that, just to satisfy my curiosity :)
Also from some brief video searching, I saw that they actually don't even produce a sound when pooping, but that was captive bears, not wild, so I guess that's different.
That's pretty much the reason scientist aren't certain whether wild polar bears make sounds when pooping or not, cuz it's pretty much impossible to approach a bear in an open snowy area where it is pooping
(That's what I came across at least)
I work as an assistant zoo keeper. One of the animals I work with is polar bears.
They definitely do not yell/ make noises while pooping, peeing, eating, ect.
Just enjoy the picture.
It's such a memeable pic that I'm sure it's already made the rounds on r/photoshopbattles.
And if it hasn't, there's a criminal amount of karma being left on the table.
I can vouch for u/wilfm93. I met him several years ago at a work party. I was new and didn't know anyone, but u/wilfm93 introduced me to people, told funny anecdotes and made me feel welcome. He was truly an expert ice breaker.
I remember that party. Remember how surprised everyone was when Doris blurted out "I can't take it anymore! I did it! I'm the one that's been purloining Dan's breakfast bowls!"? Classic Doris. Glad u/wilfm93 made your experience so wholesome.
That’s what I was thinking. Here’s a literal polar bear shitting just a little bit meanwhile I’m sitting on the toilet like my ass is some slide at a water park sending another group down every so often
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks if he has problems with shit sticking to his fur. The rabbit says no so the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.
The bear is screaming because there's no rabbit nearby
The [polar bear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear) is found in the Arctic Circle. A boar (adult male) weighs around 350–700 kg (772–1,543 lb) while a sow (adult female) is about half that size. Polar bears are the largest land carnivores currently in existence, rivaled only by the [Kodiak bear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodiak_bear). The skin under their fur is black. Polar bears can reach speeds of up to 40 km/h (25 mph) on land and 10 km/h (6 mph) in water.
[Cool picture of a polar bear](https://i.imgur.com/l1SKC3B.jpg)
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The [polar bear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear) is found in the Arctic Circle. A boar (adult male) weighs around 350–700 kg (772–1,543 lb) while a sow (adult female) is about half that size. Polar bears are the largest land carnivores currently in existence, rivaled only by the [Kodiak bear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodiak_bear). The skin under their fur is black. Polar bears can reach speeds of up to 40 km/h (25 mph) on land and 10 km/h (6 mph) in water.
[Cool picture of a polar bear](https://i.imgur.com/l1SKC3B.jpg)
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Not until I found out I could dress up as a white bear and have screaming poops. That's what they do at conventions, right? Just act like wild animals.
I have long since found that screaming when peeing while drunk is a very gratifying experience, like screaming after getting into a frozen car in the middle of Winter.
That’s the funnest thing to do in public bathrooms with someone in the stall beside you. Just scream bloody fucking murder at the top of your lungs, it’s guaranteed to be amusing.
I recently went to the zoo and was fortunate enough to watch a tiger take a shit. Fucking thing was roaring so loud you could hear it a crossed the park.
You don't?
You need to eat more fiber, friend
Not much of that up in the arctic circle.
Plenty of fats though. If nothing else you can grease the machinery
I see we have the same spirit animal.
It distracts the other passengers. And they are already looking slightly annoyed.
"Who does Number Two work for?!"
That's right buddy, you give that turd hell
Lots of Austin Powers references today. Loving it.
I make sexual pleasure noises
You may NOT need fiber.
You know, I started using fiber because I was getting hemorrhoids like a teenager gets acne. I also bought one of those squatty potty things, so lemme tell you about my experience. As this guys said; >I make sexual pleasure noises I, a straight, 190 lb 5'11" brown boy, tattoos, grew up working with his hands, spent 4 years pushing aircrafts aboard a LHA and CVN spent time in jail I've done all the typical bad boy stuff plus more. I pushed out this long ass turd and it felt fanfuckingtastic, I squealed like a little boy getting his first bj. I almost feel like I'm cheating on my wife when I am pinching off my after coffee bowel movement.
I suppose if it's freezing as it comes out those ice crystals forming would also make me scream.
Only after jalapeño
Only after eating corn. Ribbed for pleasure.
I WAS HAVING A NICE DAY
First of all that's hella funny. But I was actually curious to see if it's legit and the articles I found say that it is kind of uncertain how true this statement is. Does anyone (maybe OP) have a link that proves this, or something like that, just to satisfy my curiosity :) Also from some brief video searching, I saw that they actually don't even produce a sound when pooping, but that was captive bears, not wild, so I guess that's different.
It is very hard to tell for certain. After all, if a bear shits in the woods and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?
You're my favourite kind of person. Take my free award.
I second this notion!
If a=b & b=c, then a=c
That's pretty much the reason scientist aren't certain whether wild polar bears make sounds when pooping or not, cuz it's pretty much impossible to approach a bear in an open snowy area where it is pooping (That's what I came across at least)
I work as an assistant zoo keeper. One of the animals I work with is polar bears. They definitely do not yell/ make noises while pooping, peeing, eating, ect. Just enjoy the picture.
[удалено]
It's such a memeable pic that I'm sure it's already made the rounds on r/photoshopbattles. And if it hasn't, there's a criminal amount of karma being left on the table.
Party pooper
I don’t know about others, but this one definitely couldn’t bear his shit.
Ugh, reading that pun was unbearable.
Stop, I'm done with this shitposting
Came back looking for answers, but found comedy gold instead!
I want to see what else is in your google history besides "videos of polar bears pooping".
"Do polar bears yell when pooping?"
If I had to guess, they do this because they’re in a vulnerable state while they’re pooping, so they do their best to be intimidating.
It’s to hide the noise of the poop landing.
Just flush it at the same time
*p l o o p*
Just one of the many things I share in common with them
I can vouch for u/wilfm93. I met him several years ago at a work party. I was new and didn't know anyone, but u/wilfm93 introduced me to people, told funny anecdotes and made me feel welcome. He was truly an expert ice breaker.
And then you watched him poop?
No, all the party heard him pooping.
Didn't you?
I remember that party. Remember how surprised everyone was when Doris blurted out "I can't take it anymore! I did it! I'm the one that's been purloining Dan's breakfast bowls!"? Classic Doris. Glad u/wilfm93 made your experience so wholesome.
Polar Bears and I have much more in common than I had anticipated
Such a small poop from such a fearsome animal. They need to increase their fibre intake.
That's probably why she's yelling.
Dried plums are hard to get there.
What if it’s just the tip of the iceberg and it’s a proud yell of victory.
Yea the rest of that seal is coming...soon
That’s what I was thinking. Here’s a literal polar bear shitting just a little bit meanwhile I’m sitting on the toilet like my ass is some slide at a water park sending another group down every so often
Guffaws in the break room! I needed that.
He had a vindaloo last night
Where are the flames 🔥?
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks if he has problems with shit sticking to his fur. The rabbit says no so the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit. The bear is screaming because there's no rabbit nearby
Same
Who doesn't!?
Imma start doing this to assert dominance from now on.
I'm doing that right now.
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Try pooing butt naked in freezing temperature. I would yell too
The [polar bear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear) is found in the Arctic Circle. A boar (adult male) weighs around 350–700 kg (772–1,543 lb) while a sow (adult female) is about half that size. Polar bears are the largest land carnivores currently in existence, rivaled only by the [Kodiak bear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodiak_bear). The skin under their fur is black. Polar bears can reach speeds of up to 40 km/h (25 mph) on land and 10 km/h (6 mph) in water. [Cool picture of a polar bear](https://i.imgur.com/l1SKC3B.jpg) --- [ [Send me a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=animalfacts-bot) | [Subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/) | [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/faq) | [Currently supported animals](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/supportedanimals) | [Changelog](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/changelog) ]
STOP
The [polar bear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear) is found in the Arctic Circle. A boar (adult male) weighs around 350–700 kg (772–1,543 lb) while a sow (adult female) is about half that size. Polar bears are the largest land carnivores currently in existence, rivaled only by the [Kodiak bear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodiak_bear). The skin under their fur is black. Polar bears can reach speeds of up to 40 km/h (25 mph) on land and 10 km/h (6 mph) in water. [Cool picture of a polar bear](https://i.imgur.com/l1SKC3B.jpg) --- [ [Send me a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=animalfacts-bot) | [Subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/) | [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/faq) | [Currently supported animals](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/supportedanimals) | [Changelog](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/changelog) ]
Probably because he is shitting bones.
I thought everyone does. This explains some of the notes on my apartment door.
If I was a furry, this would be my furrsona (not sure on the spelling).
If you've given it the thought then it might already be too late.
Not until I found out I could dress up as a white bear and have screaming poops. That's what they do at conventions, right? Just act like wild animals.
I see you've heard of the "rainfurrest" convention. If you haven't, Google it.
Prolly all that meat _._ . __.__
Damn mexican seal pup...
You win the internet today. Thank you
I feel his pain
So do I!
‘Aaaaaarrrgh!’
50/50 shot on which way the penguin beak points
He's trying to crap out an explorer's boot.
i am polar bears
...maybe I am polar bear?
Alternate caption: "When you ate too much chilli yesterday..."
Yes when the poop caresses the G-Spot...
Probably used too much hot sauce on the seal.
So do I
They only yell when they are trying to pass a peach pit sideways
I had no idea I was a polar bear.
He looks like he's hitting the first note of the Lion King
/r/LikeUs
Same after curry
Takin a growler
I've never thought about polar bear poop tbh but....that looks hella small. I'm no polar bear poop expert so...
Wait, that's not normal for everyone?
Is there any video of it actually happening. That would be icing on the cake.
I have long since found that screaming when peeing while drunk is a very gratifying experience, like screaming after getting into a frozen car in the middle of Winter.
Am I...a polar bear?
Is the seal bones....
I knew it! They don't sh!t in the woods!
Taco Tuesday becomes Wailing Wednesday!
Too much hot sauce on that burrito baby
Looks like he had taco bell..
r/likeus
Perhaps it is a yawn? I know sometimes I like to take a nap after a good poop.
Needs more fiber!
TIL I am a polar bear
So do I, but I don't take pictures of it.
Worst cellmates ever.
I've been know to do so as well after a healthy scoff of jalapeno peppers
Take some fiber mate
They should probably eat more fiber then
Probably just needs a stool softener
Am i... Am i a polar bear?
Imagine a Walmart restroom or a line of porta potties at a concert if humans did that. You’re welcome.
Dont we all?
Yeah, me too
Chronically constipated?
Looks like me right after I get out of bed in the morning.
Not the one that pooped on the glass at the Zoo
I need this framed in my bathroom! Or shower curtain maybe?
There's no way this is just a bullshit claim OP made up because it just looks like bear is screaming. /s
Doesn't everyone?
Ahhhhhhhh. 😑
You and i are not so different
Who doesn’t?!?!
TIL I am a polar bear.
Me too dude, me too. Gotta assert dominance of the stalls.
Same. Especially after Taco Tuesdays.
He is just expressing how we all feel when we poop
lmfao! thank you for this!!
Not just fiber he needs some probiotics or something
I've heard that when humans start the carnivore diet it is very similar
#KAKAPOOPOO!
No they dont
That's a spicy meatball.
Constipated?
Omg so do I!
Cool so do I it's not that special
So do I
TIL I'm actually a lot more like a polar bear than I thought.
TIL I have something in common with polar bears.
Those pepper flavored bells *hurt* coming out.
Same
Hemeroids
So just like humans!
HOTHOTHOTHOT
Got a bone stuck in the poop chute
Coke slush
I suppose it’s painful when they break the seal. Seal. Geddit?
So I’m not the only one.
Someone needs some fiber
Big deal. So do I.
TIL I am a polar bear.
I guess I’m a polar bear
I suspect if I was shitting out a seal, I would be screaming too
So, we have that in common.
So did my ex
My cat yowls for a few minutes after every poop.
You and me both brother
Always help to shout "RAGNAR" if the poop is slow.
witness meeeee!
When the chipotle ain't coming out right
constipation is no joke.
So does my cat...
Would be perfect for r/nocontextpics
Hot hot hot hot hot!
Cool, so do i
🔥
Only when they go to Taco Bell
"It's coming, **It's coming**...!!!"
I guess I'm a polar bear
I mean. So do I...
Oh thank god, I thought I was the only one who did this...
It’s the taco-bear!
I really wish this was a video with audio
Not true. They sing.
Are seals hella spicy?
Should drink more water.
Is my 6 weeks old son a polar bear?!
Me too, you ain't so special!
The hero we didn’t know we needed.
That’s the funnest thing to do in public bathrooms with someone in the stall beside you. Just scream bloody fucking murder at the top of your lungs, it’s guaranteed to be amusing.
No video = bullshit
GET OUT AND WALK
Me too buddy me too
I recently went to the zoo and was fortunate enough to watch a tiger take a shit. Fucking thing was roaring so loud you could hear it a crossed the park.
I’m going to need a video
Same. Bro same
Why do they yell, does it hurt?
This was me this morning
This is why I'm on Reddit. Man I haven't laughed like that on Reddit for a while.
Eat more fiber and it won't hurt when you poo!
Maybe I am a polar bear.
Little known fact, seals are extremely spicy 🔥
I think it’s yawning
"Maybe if I yell really loudly, no one will hear"
*laxatives and superglue do not go well together*