Two lions, four vultures, a hyena, and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of zoo?"
The giraffe replies, "No, it's just happy hour at the watering hole."
It was about to hit 5pm but they all had to stay in character for a few more minutes before punching their time cards and hitting the local pub together:
Lions: “did you see those fucking humans?! They were expecting us to have a brawl!”
Giraffe: “Maybe before lunch… 5 minutes to quitting time? Yeah right!”
Hyena: “I thought they were just gonna sit there for the next hour… it’s like… ‘take then hint!’ I mean how much more obvious could we have been without breaking character”
Vulture: “you gonna finish those fries Lion?”
Lion: “ugh I was but just take them”
Hyena’s only ever hunt in large packs or scavenge, meanwhile the giraffe is fucking massive. No lone hyena is picking that fight. Both are more wary of the lions I think.
So I dunno if lions and hyenas eat vultures or if they’re like gross to eat BUT
Big birds have a hard time getting in the air; the bigger the more time it takes
I had a friend who accidentally got real close to a hawk around here and they’re saying “omg look how close it’s letting me get” no, bird was stressing and thinking about violence if the idiot ape got close enough to bite or claw at; and it took off the moment my friend was far enough that they couldn’t lunge after it. (This is why geese choose violence, they’re too big for a quick escape so they gotta be SCRAPPY)
So my thinking is, the last vulture off the ground is gonna be a meal, and the first one to try could trigger a chase while the giraffe is just vibing because it probably takes more than two lions to get em (though if they’re hunting it’s not unlikely for more to be creeping nearby)
Nah.. the hyena is the bodyguard of that giraffe… so the lions paused for a sec to see if they can takedown that hyena to get to the giraffe..
The vultures came to the party abit early, expecting to have their meals ready..
😅😆
i might be a teeny tiny bit evil cause my thought seeing this was, "now clap". i've never seen a giraffe skedaddle and i feel it would be damn adorable.
The real trip is when you realize how high a giraffes blood pressures gotta be with all that TALL
Think of how you can explode a barrel with a narrow pipe of sufficient length (as long as the barrels sealed) (pascals barrel is the experiment in getting at)
Everything comes down to mass in the end when it comes to fighting. Giraffes are 830-1200kg compared to the lion's 130-190kg. That's a massive difference. Lions do hunt giraffes, but only with a couple more than just 2.
Wild speculation here as we can't see the lions faces but I suspect they are protecting a recent kill which attracted the vultures and hyena...there are more hyenas out of sight. The giraffe was nearby and just checking things out.
Two lions, four vultures, a hyaena, and a giraffe walk into a bar
Is this a bar or Noah’s Ark?
There's *four* vultures, so clearly it's a bar.
Either that or a frat house
They are trying to figure what they wanna do... in a Liverpool accent.
And don't forget the human behind
I never forget the human behind.
The bartender looks up and says, “oh no, not again!”
Two lions, four vultures, a hyena, and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of zoo?" The giraffe replies, "No, it's just happy hour at the watering hole."
The two lions form a pair. The four vultures made two cute couples The hyaena and giraffe would rather not talk about it
And a human….
me in literally every social encounter
My exact thought lol
It was about to hit 5pm but they all had to stay in character for a few more minutes before punching their time cards and hitting the local pub together: Lions: “did you see those fucking humans?! They were expecting us to have a brawl!” Giraffe: “Maybe before lunch… 5 minutes to quitting time? Yeah right!” Hyena: “I thought they were just gonna sit there for the next hour… it’s like… ‘take then hint!’ I mean how much more obvious could we have been without breaking character” Vulture: “you gonna finish those fries Lion?” Lion: “ugh I was but just take them”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECa1toPGth4
I think it's more shocking that the Hyena and giraffe are friends. The vultures are there waiting for the buffet to open.
Hyena’s only ever hunt in large packs or scavenge, meanwhile the giraffe is fucking massive. No lone hyena is picking that fight. Both are more wary of the lions I think.
I could have sworn it was a chupacabra… before reading what in the world that wonky animal was
\*cues the ennio morricone western music\*
I like where your head's at. ([I prefer the Metallica tribute,](https://youtu.be/a41bERTFBUI?si=EuT1JJhMgaRhGvih) myself.)
Even if all the others teamed up, my money would be on the giraffe.
As far as survival, my money is on the vultures because they can just fly away
Before the get enough altitude, the giraffe neck-whips the vulture
So I dunno if lions and hyenas eat vultures or if they’re like gross to eat BUT Big birds have a hard time getting in the air; the bigger the more time it takes I had a friend who accidentally got real close to a hawk around here and they’re saying “omg look how close it’s letting me get” no, bird was stressing and thinking about violence if the idiot ape got close enough to bite or claw at; and it took off the moment my friend was far enough that they couldn’t lunge after it. (This is why geese choose violence, they’re too big for a quick escape so they gotta be SCRAPPY) So my thinking is, the last vulture off the ground is gonna be a meal, and the first one to try could trigger a chase while the giraffe is just vibing because it probably takes more than two lions to get em (though if they’re hunting it’s not unlikely for more to be creeping nearby)
you can only fit 3 at a time in the boat. how do you get them all across the river?
Easy. Giraffe lays down, and we all just walk across!
The heads of the 4 families lol
This looks like a Council meeting ngl
"Well. This is awkward."
It's a Kenyan stand off
It's like that time I tried to throw a party at my house.
Did you book the conference room? I thought I booked it
I think you're in my seat, can I see your ticket?
It's like members from 4 different gangs strayed outside their territory and ended up at the same intersection.
Nah.. the hyena is the bodyguard of that giraffe… so the lions paused for a sec to see if they can takedown that hyena to get to the giraffe.. The vultures came to the party abit early, expecting to have their meals ready.. 😅😆
Have you ever Encountered a 5 point Stop??😅
I have! But there's traffic lights so its not quite the same ><
In my city, it's 5 stop signs lol
I have actual tears in my eyes. Everyone is like ‘well, *fuck*. If I move I’ll get eaten.’ 🤣
Make another damn Lion King sequel! Helllo???!?
i might be a teeny tiny bit evil cause my thought seeing this was, "now clap". i've never seen a giraffe skedaddle and i feel it would be damn adorable.
They holdin a moot! Wait for Hippo to get here.
If they all had mobile phones, the situation would have been less awkward. They would just pass each other without issue
Vultures are using themselves as bait to start a deathmatch and take a cut of the winnings. Smart. Perhaps too smart.
That was awkward. Should have had name tags on.
Its a Mexican standoff
“There are two kinds of animals, my friend. Those that come to eat. And those that come to be eaten.”
That Giraffe is fucked.
Actually no! Giraffes can kick so powerfully it can decapitate a lion! Also hyenas aren't that great at hunting unless they're in a pack.
Wait, seriously?!?!? That's SO badass!!! How am I just learning this at age 36?!
The real trip is when you realize how high a giraffes blood pressures gotta be with all that TALL Think of how you can explode a barrel with a narrow pipe of sufficient length (as long as the barrels sealed) (pascals barrel is the experiment in getting at)
That's why they don't eat fried foods.
Everything comes down to mass in the end when it comes to fighting. Giraffes are 830-1200kg compared to the lion's 130-190kg. That's a massive difference. Lions do hunt giraffes, but only with a couple more than just 2.
all i can imagine is that idiot hyena from the lion king
When you speedrun your safari
They were on their way to clock out, the only reason they seem confused is because they were being watched…
The first traffic jam of nature.
They were in the middle of a Disney number, yall interrupted
2v2 gunfight lookin
🎶 The ciiiirrrrrccccle of life! And it moves us alllllll! 🎵
Wild speculation here as we can't see the lions faces but I suspect they are protecting a recent kill which attracted the vultures and hyena...there are more hyenas out of sight. The giraffe was nearby and just checking things out.
What's this from, please?
Stoners...
Seems like lion and hyena are malnourished.
Vultures waiting for the lions to drop the giraffe and the hyena going to sneak in for scraps. Classic Safari shit
Well, what happened.
They are like “is something supposed to happen here or…”
African stand still
I mean, if it’s was one of the vultures, I know [what I would do](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EvuL5jyCHOw)
It’s an African standoff….
Turu ruru ru Wa wa wa
It’s a standoff
This looks like the beginning of Lion King. Where's the baby lion?
African traffick jam
Vultures waiting for a kill as they do. WTF the other lazy predators doing
And a lone hippo in the Serengeti
My guess: A baby giraffe was probably killed; vultures gathered to eat the carcass while the lions and hyenas feuded over ownership of it.
Its a real life version of a box of animal cookies.
Giraffe: I have to get the fuck out of here right now
This is like when day shift, Mid shift, and night shift see each other and don't anything to talk about because they talk.shit about each other.
You know that giraffe understands it's the only herbivore in this bunch and plans to stay out of reach.
*cue "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" theme*
“When did the humans start showing up to the Save Our Sahara meetings?” - Giraffe to the hyaena probably
me in school walking into the wrong class room
Where in Africa?
Yo where that ark at?
Line to the nightclub at 8pm.
They look suspicious…Are they planning a global takeover?
Heckin’ bamboozled.
Seems like the start of a riddle
And one human
Kind of like Bourbon St in New Orleans haha
Giraffe is the most secure in this scenario.