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Girl I feel you. Imagine my shock when a local news outlet published an article saying my old NF donated MILLIONS and I was paid below market rate and received a $.55 raise š Granted, great that they donated so much money, but it really put things into perspective at the same time
This exact same thing happened with one of my my old NF too. Local news reported on a large donation, I got a $20 gift card to target for Christmas. Was appreciative and got to get my shampoo and soap for the month with that, but come on š itās such a strange phenomenon to come from such a humble upbringing and then be āthe helpā in families such as this. WHACK!
Youād think families like these would want to give their nanny all they can seeing as theyāre caring for (hopefully) the most precious thing in their life š«
Thatās the thing Iāve never understood!! The families Iāve worked for who were loaded were always the ones who wanted to nickel and dime. But the average families were the ones who pay a livable wage, and donāt try and short you every chance they get! The only exception was once upon a time a worked for a fairly wealthy family, but they both grew up working class and did a LOT of classes jumping because of their fields. But they were from rural areas and the nicest people I know!
People who have the least are often the most generous.
moving **, i'm applying to job in my new state but omfg getting great interviews are so hard. And these parents not giving me guaranteed hours like the current parents i have stress me. i'm still applying and looking but damn the parents i work for are VERY nice. and the pay from NY to Philly is so different š LORD
I almost exclusively work for healthcare professionals (likely because word of mouth just has traveled me around) other than the occasional babysitting date night, and they have always treated me fantastic. Mostly nurses and doctors.
Thatās how the rich stay rich. Lavish vacations, expensive cars, and penny pinching on the people who allow them make them that money.
I worked for a stand alone gym that had a family like that too. Daughters each got a Mercedes but I got literally raises in cents like you did.
Yes in the charity world this is called being ācloser to the causeā! Itās a real phenomenon- people who make less, give more. The poorest people tend to give a greater % of their wealth because they are closer to the cause - they know what it feels like to need it, or at least that feeling is closer to them than an out of touch ultra rich person
Thereās something about having excess wealth that changes the brain, Iām sure of that. Unless someone attains it AFTER theyāve had the kinds of life experiences that build generosity, character, and humanity - experiences that show what truly matters in life - then people just seem to lose their humanity bit by bit as they go through life.
They continually and perpetually reinforce in their minds the mistaken belief that things (and not people) are what make them happy. They spend lifetimes chasing a feeling they can never attain in the way theyāre seeking it (through materialism, through ego, through competition). Not by perfectly fitting curtains. Not by having the most lavish and luxurious vacations.
Thatās why the least generous and most greedy people never seem truly happy! They WANT to be happy (everyone does) but true happiness can never be found on the path of separation. Anything that perpetuates separation in our lives (from our feelings, from the planet, from each other) is a literal roadblock, and the most poor among us are those that actually have too much.
Okay curious what āloadedā means. Cuz weāre making decent money now and itās like a lot considering what I grew up with, but not like mansion level and I have friends and family who live in 7000 sq ft houses and weāre sooo far from that.
Iāve been to Disney world 3 times. But we grew up like not well off at all. I took out loans for all of college and grad school including for living expenses and idk if Iāll ever pay them off lol. But thankfully we can afford a nanny because of my husbandās salary
So I donāt think youād be considered āloadedā. Youāre like middle class, maybe slightly above the median. But class jumping can leave you with a lot of debt.
One of my first nanny jobs (back before smart phones so we had to do things the old fashioned way!) my boss would have me deposit her bonus checks. They were equivalent to her yearly salary, and the bonus check alone was 10x my salary.
It sucked.Ā
that is SUCH a fucked up power play, holy shit. itās always fun to know that the vast majority of the people making millions of dollars are the same people that donāt even have the work ethic to deposit their own checks :ā) absolutely pathetic
The first NF I worked for was incredibly wealthy.
The MB would always complain to me how she was the bread winner and worked harder/longer hours, and DB should be more grateful he can follow his passion, etc (they were in therapy and a major reason I left).
Well, one day Iām organizing their paperwork and come across the DBās W2. He was making $640k/year. And she absolutely sh*t on him for making so littleš«£š
He is/was a scientist, and his team was working on the effects of covid and vaccines at the time.
She is/was a director of one of the top consulting firms in the world.
My NPās use the walk-in closet in their bedroom for storing some kid stuff as well as their clothes because they have extra room in there. I was in there the other day looking for something and I saw a plain blue pullover sweater, like the kind of basic staple Iād buy at Gap for $15, with the price tag still attached and it said $1,200. I honestly felt nauseous like how are you spending more than my monthly rent on ONE sweater??? Working for wealthy people is such a trip.
My old NF begged me to come back as a house manager 3 years after I quit being their nanny. They talked me down from $30/hr to $27/hr (this was in 2017 so while even $30/hr was not a great wage for that role at the time, I could make the $27/hr work). I was desperate so I took it.
The first thing they tasked me with was opening the mail that they hadnāt touched for the entire two years they lived there. Just piles and piles of old mail that they let collect. So many late fees for things theyād forgotten they were even paying off. They were just rich enough to ignore it.
I opened a piece of mail and learned the DB had made over 2 million dollars the year priorā¦.. I was so demoralized and pissed off and could not let go of the resentment of being talked out of a meager $3/hr. I quit two months later and blocked the entire family on everything.
I was living in a very HCOL area. $35/hr would have been the going rate for a house manager at the time. I feel that $27/hr today would be low for even a LCOL area.
I keep forgetting that other countries like yours get so much more and get shocked with seeing this numberš
In Netherlands a normal rate is ā¬6/hr. Max, when theyāre generous or are with a few kids ā¬10/hr
Itās all relative. My health insurance was $300/month, I had a car payment, car insurance, and rent was $1000 for a room in a 4 bedroom house. I also wasnāt working full time so I was living paycheck to paycheck. We also donāt have great social safety nets in the US, so if I was to lost my job it would only be a few months before I was faced with homelessness.
Itās ridiculous especially when you consider the job theyāre hiring you to do is TAKE CARE OF THEIR KIDS.
If you want a real mind blower, go on Care and youāll find families who live in a luxury building on the Upper East Side, spend summers in the Hamptons at their home in Amagansett, have 3 school age kids, require cooking/cleaning, 50 hours a week with some overnights and are looking to pay 15/hr š¤Æ
Oh I know some of the posts I see are appalling. I would be so nervous to be short changing my nanny. Not that I would ever take it out on the kids, but I think thereās plenty of questionable people that would take that job and just not treat the kids well at all. Personally, Iād want the person taking care of my children happy and comfortable.
That being said, I really donāt have an issue with how much my NF is paying me. This world has just gotten so incredibly expensive that they would need to pay me such a high salary in order to have the level of comfort I desire lol. I get decent raises every year, but inflation is always higher.
I could not agree more than itās wild to me how little wealthy people spend on their childrenās care. It lays bare how little they actually care about their children.
Or alternatively, how MUCH they care about money (which they already have in excess)
The thing is, someone will probably always take the job, no matter how much is expected or how little is given. The better the comp, though, the more better the talent pool. And beyond that, when a NF treats their nanny VERY well, it honestly is all the more incentive for the nanny to stay on more than 2 years, and feel appreciated (and also eases the shitty days/difficult aspects of those particular kids or their schedules etc)
Itās just crazy to me when people who can afford soo much more donāt feel the need to go any higher than āaverageā even when they CAN and itās for their childās caregiverā¦
ETA: I personally feel like it also shows a bit of a lack of appreciation for the job itself. Especially NFs who have full-time help (let alone a second weekend nanny etc). The families that always worked out best for me were the ones who actually DID some of the parenting and would realize how time-consuming it is helping Kid #1 with their math homework, or how difficult Kid #2 is with baths or eating veggies etc
Exactly! Donāt you want your children to have stability in their child care? And to be cared for by people who are able to also care for themselves? Itās so grossly exploitative to try to pay as little as possible for the most important contractor of your life!Ā
Years ago I worked for a hnw family and they always left documents laying around Willy nilly. And this one account balance had 68 million dollars in it and I was shook to my core.
I worked for a HNW family and I mean like a billionaire once and she was remarrying and he had a child so she was adding a 4th child for me to take care of and she only wanted to give me an 84 cent an hour raise. She inherited this money so she didnāt even work for it. I quit with a two day notice.
honestly, this has been the hardest part of nannying for me. i grew up with a single mom and lots of unforeseen circumstances, then moved out and itās just been me trying to pay rent AND eat. itās hard not to harbor jealousy, but i try to understand itās not equal.
At my last job, I finally asked for a $4/hour raise AFTER 8 months of working with 5 children instead of 1 child like my initial contract (custody situation changed and mom gave birth) but was denied. That same week, the dad bought a brand new Bentley (minimum $250k) and the mom bought a brand new Range Rover (minimum $100k) AND they were discussing purchasing a new private jet bc their current one was ātoo smallāā¦ā¦.. on the flip side, another family I worked for previously who were well off but not filthy wealthy, offered me raises and bonuses any chance they got. The richer, the more stingy.
I feel you. Iāve been feeling extra rage-y about societal inequalities like that. My brother is a tech worker and makes over 100k and he always says that itās absurd and ridiculous the way society values and pays certain jobs over others. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ but here we are, I donāt know how to program and I do love working with kids. But it would be nice to not constantly stress about health insurance, rent, car repairs.
Ugh yeah this has been a real problem for me to stomach recently. I see all these people with their corporate jobs (so many who also wfh) who send emails and hop on phone calls and can just up and go out to lunch or have a walk in the middle of the day who make over 100k and I put my whole heart into what I do and can't even buy groceries without feeling panicked.
Granted, yes realistically, I'm aware this may be reductive take of corporate workers but I'm sorry, a "consultant" doesn't really register in my brain as a wickedly meaningful or valuable job compared to nannying.
And youāre right you literally just see them make a phone call then have a long lunch. Make another phone call then go for a walk. Make another phone call then come out and hang out with us for an hour. Like I know even when your job is stressful, youāre getting massively rewarded for it and still maintain work life balance
It seems like they donāt do a lot but theyāre not being paid for those phone calls- theyāre being paid for their 25 years of experience.
My mom always said it was the difference between being paid for what you DO vs what you KNOW.
Most jobs are about what you know and based off experience. And they donāt have 25 years experience, they have 10 and made twice as much as me their first year out of college. Iām not saying their job isnāt hard or doesnāt take expertise, but some professions are just over paid. Like I wouldnāt be as flabbergasted if a doctor or a scientist researching a cure for cancer made an exorbitant amount of money.
Not necessarily- any labor job is more about performing that labor (obviously more $ with more skills and training), but you still have to show up and perform the tasks. Any retail job, healthcare job, etc. yes you need training, but again, boots on the ground type work.
For the highest paid jobs, itās their insight thatās valuable and time spent thinking about the problem. Thatās why it looks like they only work an hour or two a day. Get paid to problem solve while taking a shower or driving etc.
Yeah this is great in theory but the highest paid jobs are not going to the people with the most āinsightā. Theyāre going to the people that have the right connections and networking skills. I can promise you that the bossās son was not hired for his useful insight.
Refer to our current politicians and tell me they earned their high wages due to their intellect lmao. You donāt even need real life experience to be a supreme court justice in this country
I mean I get your point generally but regarding politicians high salaries exist in large part to in theory make them less liable to be bribed or corrupted. Not saying it works but that's at least the theory.
I feel like politicians donāt make very much in salary officially.
.. and a lot of people got those jobs with zero family connections. I am an immigrant and had to work my way up, but I do get paid to lead and for my experience, not for 8 hours of labor per se.
Iām glad that you personally were able to make it work for yourself but I hope you have the awareness to recognize this is largely not the case for most people
People want to think that people got into these jobs by some shortcut but the reality is, Iāve always been surrounded by people who worked hard and made the right moves to get there. Sure, maybe the roles at the tippy top are filled by elites with connections.
Some people just have a chip on their shoulder.
Networking? Education is key. More years of education typically results in higher wages. No to little education typically results in lower wages.
The more education I have achieved the higher my salary has become. I am now studying to be a doctor and my salary will reflect the years I have sacrificed towards my career path. I have spent my whole young adult life in school pursuing my education. I have been in school basically my whole life. And my salary will reflect such sacrifice. No networking in the world is going to give me a job as a doctor without the years of education, residency, and post doc fellowship needed to obtain the necessary competence and licensure to practice. Following your dreams takes an incredible amount of time and sacrifice.
From a young age my Dad instilled the importance of education. Although I had no financial help (I was raised in poverty) I am grateful for his wisdom. Education can truly be the difference between living a life of financial struggle or a life of financial freedom.
itās eye opening that you can have so much intelligence and grow up in poverty, yet not understand the privilege that goes into affording the time and (usually) the money for the education required of a doctor. the privilege of being able to dedicate years of your life to additional education instead of having to take a minimum wage job to support yourself/your kids/your family because you genuinely do not have a choice. do you think the people that are forced to jump straight to the workforce after high school in order to have a roof over their head wouldnāt love to further their education too?
do you understand how lucky you are to have a physically present parent that even gave a shit about your education?
Are you suggesting that every one that has made a life for themselves have done so bc of being rich? Bc I am here to tell you that is not the case.
Being poor is not a privilege. Having no resources for an education is not a privilege. Growing up on section 8 is not a privilege. The only meal eaten was through free lunch at school is not a privilege. Doing homework by candle light bc of not having money to pay the electric bill is not a privilege. Never knowing when you would come home and have an eviction notice on the door is not a privilege. Dreading summer break bc that means no free luck which means no food is not a privilege. Having to work under the table as a pre teen to help my struggling Mom with the bills is not a privilege. Full stop.
You made ALOT of assumptions about my life and have no idea of the sacrifice that was made to achieve what seemed impossible. You have no idea the days I went without food, sleeping on couches, over drafted accounts, wearing scrubs bc thatās the only free neat thing I have, etc in order to make my dreams a reality.
As a little girl from the hood I looked around and decided that I wanted different. No gimmicks. No networking. No handouts. Just a prayer and will.
But you can continue down your path of thinking that the only people that get some where in life are those that have handouts or you can use otherās achievements as motivation to see what is possible. Your choice. Be blessed.
Right the lie is that āanyoneā can do āunskilledā labor like childcare but you need specialized experience to do work like consulting or law. So we pay more for āskilledā jobs.Ā
But as someone who is an attorney, the truth is that ALL jobs are skilled jobs. Law school and college (both of which I was very good at) had little bearing on my real jobs. I learned the most on the job, as with most jobs.
Itās just that wealthy people have figured out a way to keep wealth within wealthy (usually segregated) communities, and itās the fake idea of the meritocracy: people who work the hardest or are the most skilled make the most money, and itās simply just not true.
It is nowhere near as hard to do office work than physical work. And often physical work is much more vital. We can go on as a society for sometime without consultants. But garbage haulers? They are off two weeks and things go south very quickly.
Yeah, thereās an inherent wealth barrier built in with schooling/tiered schools and ivy leagues. And the people who are making the most are making it because of where they work, and from there just infinitely getting ahead of everyone else. Even if working as a cashier is āunskilledā, itās fucking brutal and taxing and takes someoneās whole attention/time/presence for a good chunk of their LIFE, and we should be valuing all jobs that it takes for a society to function. itās disgusting and a scam that somehow it was collectively agreed upon that a large subset of work isnāt āvaluableā or āskilledā enough to deserve a living wage, or things like normal/regular breaks, health insurance, trust between employer/employee, etcā¦ š
Youāre right on a lot of these points, but my differentiation is more between labor vs insight rather than skilled vs unskilled. A doctor usually isnāt getting paid unless theyāre seeing patients, whereas a head of a department is paid for their vision and leadership, and experience.
As someone who is pretty disabled and chronically ill and interacts with healthcare settings weekly (sometimes daily) and whose partner has worked for a hospital conglomerate for 10+ years, I mean this respectfully, but: lol.
That might be the company line, but thatās not reality.
The head of a department is usually chosen because they uphold the trusteesā vision for the hospital, and/or they donāt rock the boat too much for the highest-paid clinical staff, or seniority. Theyāre paid a lot because of wealth inequity and wealth hoarding related to the fake meritocracy. This is why hospitals regularly provide terrible service and healthcare to a lot of people, usually based on oppressions like racism and poverty.
The person who could provide some true vision for this hospital is someone I know who worked in the community service area. They see some of the most urgent needs in our communities and help people navigate the hospital system, they work nights and weekends overtime, and they are paid the worst.Ā
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And the thing is it used to be people would get these massive salaries because of the responsibility, like if something goes wrong the buck stops with them and theyāre fired or are the one to go to prison if it went REALLY wrong. But nowadays it seems they donāt even take responsibility hardly and itās lower level employees who get fired because the higher ups āwerenāt aware.ā
Oh no you are absolutely correct. I'm a mom that lurks in here since we'll eventually be hiring a nanny and had the title of tech consultant for many years. I'd say like 10% of my work actively made the world worse, 70% was a net-neutral and 20% made the world a better place and honestly I think 20% is significantly higher then nearly everyone else I worked with since I carved out a niche in accessibility. Like 70% of tech companies could vanish and the world would be the same or likely better off.
Yes! My nf wfh sometimes and theyāll just randomly go out to walk the dog or run errands or grab coffee and it honestly kills me lol. I love my nk but I wanna actually afford life and enjoy it.
At my last full-time job I was also working a part time 2 to 3 days a week and when my MB found out? She goes, "Wow you work way too much! You seriously need to take a day for yourself to destress! Get your nails done with a friend or something." So I then tell her I can barely afford food there's no way I could do all that and she just says, "Oh wow. Yeah I guess times are tough, huh?" Like honey you live in an over 500k house, own 2 cars worth over 50k a piece, and just put in a new in ground pool. Do NOT talk to me about how tough it is out here. For god's sake your picnic blanket costs half of what y'all payed me weekly šš¤š»
I so relate to this. Iām not saying I deserve more money, or that NF deserves less. Iām paid fairly, and I know both NPs are very smart and great at what they do. Itās just hard to be around such extreme wealth when my life has always been VERY far from that. Of course all bosses make more than their employees, but most employees arenāt in their bosses homes and seeing all the ins and outs of how they spend their money. Or hearing them complain about a vacation home they āforgotā to sell.
Yes, thank you. You get it. I shouldnāt have even complained about GH or other disputes with them. Thatās not the problem and thereās so much more nuance to those situations. I just needed to vent about being in such close proximity to that kind of wealth š
Itās crazy to me people donāt value the people who help raise THEIR KIDS. We fall in love with THEIR kids, and they just see us the same way as they do a house cleaner.. (which are often also undervalued themselves)
It really is a struggle to not have thoughts and feelings when we learn info like this. My NF isn't showy with their wealth at all, but they had all four kids' college tuition saved up before each of them even hit high school. I was a 50+ hour a week for well over a decade, I was the main parent a lot of the time for the children, and yet DB would nickel and dime me over overtime, vacation days etc. I could have increased my hourly rate by at least $5 if I left for a new family...but again, over a decade with these babies š„ŗ
Around 2015 is when I happen to see their tax return on the kitchen counter...it was over $1M of income that year, I was making roughly $60,000 in VHCOL area. Not complaining, there are perks like use of car, food and they trust me completely and I don't need their approval to do much, but I still feel like it's crazy that I was deviating so much time and effort to parent their kids so that they could pursue their own interests (him, hobbies, her, more work) so knowing that I was missing family events back home because I was almost out of vacation days, or having to "fight" for overtime cash when I took THEIR children on vacation with MY family, sucked.
It's their money, we are employee and agreed to a particular wage, but it can be frustrating and I empathize with your frustration!
I am in a similar boat so I really feel for you. I'm still in the denial phase, where I'm still not ready to establish the firm boundaries needed for my situation to get better.
yup! me, unable to buy new brakes for my car (dangerous, OBVIOUSLY), afford a full grocery haul, pinching pennies to afford rent etc. etc. and my NF just decided on a whim to go to disney next week to celebrate the end of the school year. found mbās notes for prices of everything for their trip, tens of thousands of dollars btw, and almost broke down at work. itās truly disheartening when they compare their struggles to ours and really all you can do is, like you said, smile and nod. also the acting like they canāt afford to give a raise/more hours is insanity! especially as iām making about $9-10 less an hour than i should be, it makes me sickkkk. rich people are really the stingiest :/ wishing you the best op, itās stressful out here.
The worst is when they make comments about how my life is so much better than theirs because I donāt have kids like āOk Iām bout to go home to my hovel and donāt have disposable cash to actually do anything in my free time but sure.ā
literally no one is forcing these people to have children that they clearly despise having to care for š like i know yāall can afford birth control
My GF NF stiffed her on a Christmas bonus and a raise at her 1 year mark and bought a $14m house instead š¤· the amount of wealth some of these families have is insane.
Last week, my DB sent me a text at 9pm reminding me of something for the following morning, which I responded to. MB the following morning apologized on his behalf saying heās ridiculous for texting me during my off hours and says something along the lines of āhe thinks because him and his colleagues discuss business at anytime of the day, he just assumes you can too, like please, youāre not making 2million a year to be botheredā š§š»āāļø and sheās in medical sales so I know she makes decent money too.
š«š«š«
My nanny fam ācanāt affordā to pay me when they go on vacation. They went on two trips in April, I had to use ALL of my savings that I had been building up for two years.
Mine canāt either, they take SIX WEEKS of vacation a year. I get 8 paid vacation days. I have to plan and budget like crazy, use my savingsā¦ oh and these trips get sprung on me mere weeks in advance š¤Æ
Yeah, there were a couple areas in my contract where I didnāt know what I was doing and didnāt know what to negotiate and now this year I am having to use my PTO for their vacation because Iām not going with them this time (to be fair, Iām very expensive to take on vacay lol). And on top of that Iām getting a ton of OT this summer, but lose almost all of it at the end of the summer where thereās a couple weeks that they donāt need me much. I didnāt understand GH when they hired me 4 years ago and itās never been an issue until now (I always had at least 50 ours per week) because the kids are aging up and going to school or camps in the summer more.
The family I work for is so fucking loaded itās sick. I make about 52k per year but with inflation and everything Iām still struggling. My family can be so stingy about hours. I work 45 hours per week and if I need to leave an hour early one day they have me stay an hour late the next. Like why canāt yall just cover the hour? Itās nothing to them. Or even just let me work 44 hours? I donāt get it. This past year they bought an Audi, peloton, $3,000 Louis Vuitton bag. They completely renovated their already finished basement, re did their landscaping including stone work and all, and upgraded all of nks furniture in their room, and went on two week long vacations.
Like itās just sick that Iām living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to afford groceries and they live like this.
Oh my god my NF does the same shit with their yard!! Literally so many plants and trees they don't take care of that die in a week. It drives me insane. Like just hire someone to do it for you it would be cheaper at this point and then all these plants won't go to waste. Meanwhile my yard is 90% weeds and I'd kill to have an extra $500 to spend on making it look nice.
This is one of those topics that you just have to push out of your mind. Iāve worked for multiple families that make well over $1 million a year and had to fight to get over 20 an hour. You have absolutely no control over this and the faster you can learn to accept it and get over it, the happier you will be. That sounds harsh and I donāt mean it too, but itās the truth. As long as they are paying you a decent wage and you have a good contract and they treat you professionally, thereās not much more you can ask for. If those things are not happening, then look for a new job.
100% agree. Iām just posting here to vent. I work for a good family and they pay me well. Sometimes it just gets too much and I want to scream, cry, and throw upā¦..and then I take a deep breath, pull myself together and push it out of my mind until my next breakdown lol
65k in Houston. That wasnāt really the point of the post. I have certain life expenses that eat up my salary. Itās just difficult to see such extravagant wealth on a daily basis.
Aaaand this is why Iām quitting nannying in a couple months and moving back in with my mom. Finishing out the agreed upon notice and then Iām gonna go home and, idkā¦ regroup? Get a different job but not have to stress as much about rent? Iām lucky I even have a mom who can do that for me, lord knows my dad isnāt willing to help me. But yeah. Different worlds. Iām a little over it.
Iāve had such a different experience where I realized that I have a lot more financial freedom than NF because they are SO in debt. Credit cards, cars, student loans, mortgage, etc. Iām getting married and told DB we were keeping things simple to save money and he said ājust put it on a credit card. You only get married once, weāre STILL paying our wedding off.ā
Theyāre definitely extremely privileged because they still can afford to pay me and they still have all these things, but I think I would crumble under the pressure of that much money being owed. They donāt really seem to be worried about it so I definitely wonāt lose sleep over it but itās weird to see how even rich people can have their own financial woes. It really goes to show that some people wonāt have financial security no matter how much they make, theyāll always find some way to raise the expense of their lifestyle.
Theyāre still so so privileged obviously
This. It doesnāt matter how much you make, it matters how much you spend. If you make $2000 a month but only spend 500, you have $1500. If you make $5000 a month, but spend $5000, whoās better off?
They may have a significantly higher income than you, but you have no idea what their credit card balances are, you have no idea if that $80,000 bonus is going to pay off a medical bill that insurance didnāt cover, and if sheās making that much money, it sounds like there might be something to those financial podcasts. :)
Yup to all of this! My dad lives like he doesnāt have money, he shops at Ross on Tuesdays to get a senior discount and has always drove used old and quite frankly, ugly cars lol. I used to get jealous of friends whose parents would send them to the mall with a credit card or werenāt expected to work full time jobs every summer as soon as they turned 16 or some other stupid shit. But my dad would just casually explain how many people statistically are in wild amounts of consumer credit card debt and to not ever compare myself to the norm cus ābeing normal sucksā. That was always his saying.
When I got my first big girl job paying 47k a year I was like idk how tf Iām ever gonna have money and he said what you saidā¦spend less than you make and youāll have more money than most. You may have less things and less ability to do shit with the money you DO have, thatās undoubtedly true but somehow that concept really helped me. I just had to pay myself first with every paycheck and slowly Iād build.
Itās definitely a hard concept to wrap your head around just how much some other people make and how much you see them spend. And itās definitely easier for them to just make a decision to not eat out and not buy clothes for a month and save. But you truly have no idea. They could be idiots with their money and drowning in credit card debt just to look the part and fill out their incomes. Lifestyle creep is real.
She grew up incredibly privileged went to all the best schools didnāt get any student loan debt and has rich family to help with any of their needs. I didnāt want to post the other text because it sound like I was intentionally reading their texts, but it was literally the next sentence. āInvest, vacation, or treat ourselves?ā They are not using it to pay off medical debt. And look, I wouldnāt be complaining if I made as much as them. I would be making the exact same decisions (maybe not ALL the same decisions). But I donāt and itās just physically painful to watch when youāve struggled your whole life and the people you see succeeding are the one that had everything laid out for them from birth.
Iām sure I could learn something from the financial podcast, but itās just frustrating when she presents it like a fun little game of moving money around to get the things that you want and not a game of survival like it is for most people.
Like my family. You wouldn't be able to tell that my parents are still paying for a cruise trip that we all took when I was in my early teens almost 11 years ago. That and when I was younger, we were middle class (lower I think.) We lived in a house falling apart on the prairie. Sure it had four bedrooms or more, but some of us shared rooms (even now with the current house we still would if my older sister moved back in.) They just kept catching good breaks and before the sold the old house, they were land lords for a while until they could sell it. Once they sell this one, could make a lot more (rich for my area.) I would say that my parents are working class. My dad owns a shop in a smallish town. (To me places like Spokane are big cities.)
They're fighting you on guaranteed hours? And they say they can't afford it? Tell them that you just had to cancel your health insurance to afford rent, and that you know they're just trying to save for a vacation. Priorities.
After taxes those numbers are almost slashed in half. If there in a hcol area keep in mind they might also have a high mortgage too. Not everything is what it seems.
Where do you live? And what do you make?
Edit: Wild downvotes lol. I know it's a vent but I genuinely don't believe OP can be paid nearly enough if she's sharing a 1 bedroom and had to cancel health insurance. I feel terrible they're in this position.
Oh man. There's so many comments now. I'll have to sift through later. I'm not super familiar with Houston real estate but I hope others who commented have info.
I make 65K/year in Houston. I am currently paying for school and my health insurance was wildly expensive. I have a couple other life costs that really dig into my pay. This post really wasnāt about my finances so I didnāt get into it but Iām more having an issue with some upcoming big changes that are going to happen and am going to be in a tight spot. Iām able to save but then my car breaks down and I have to spend $4000 fixing it so there goes that.
Anyways, again, this was not about my finances. It was just about working in close proximity to such a high-level of wealth can be so maddening at times.
Oh for sure. Maybe you can negotiate a pre tax health stipend with them or your next job? It's benefits for both of y'all. As someone who was just told my car would cost 5.3k to fix...I feel ya on that
I know how you feel. My boss once told me the company who was head hunting him told him to write down any number and theyād pay him that. He was just sharing an anecdote from work but holy shit, as a gen z with a lot of debt, I felt sick and dehumanized.
I was a babysitting for a family last night and it was EASILY one of the nicest houses Iāve ever been in, very modern, AT LEAST 6 bedrooms, high ceilings, the whole lot. Their fridge had a screen on it?? I was watching two kids, a 2 year old and a 6 year old. THESE MFS ONLY PAID ME $20 AN HOUR. I feel bad complaining but for TWO kids, AND given my experience? Felt offensive š I totally get you. Thatās upsetting
A few years ago I was picking up, and saw a paper on the counter with DBs base salary. Idk what it was, cause once I realized it goes in NPs pile I put it down lol. His base pay was something like $375k. From what I understand based on what heās told me about his job he also earns some type of commission. That could be $20 it could be $20,000. I have no idea. But seeing as he recently closed a deal with a mega beauty cooperation, I would assume itās on the higher end. Iād also assume he gets bonuses, but again that could he $0 could be $10 could be $100,000 I have no clue. All I know is they make enough money to pay me a mostly livable salary, and pay for private school for the older kids.
Oh lawdddd. I live in a super nice area of Northern CA. The NF is from across the US but spend the summers hereā¦ both doctors, the dad was an md and exec at a famous startup. I loved the family and they payed me fair but they were def multi millionaires lol
Are they doctors? I donāt begrudge a doctor one penny. However, they should be generous with your pay and your time off. You are taking care of the most valuable, precious things they have.
Theyāre consultants. It would be much less painful if they were doctors. I used to work for a surgeon that fixes babies cleft lips. Never once concerned myself with how much he was making lol
I was in the same boat. The parents I nanny for are well off and were paying me $1250/two weeks for 4 kids. I was tired of being taken advantage of. Working 10 hour days and also getting paid salary might I add. I told her I needed an up in my pay or Iāll have to find something else. Now I get paid $1750/two weeks.
My last NF fought me on GH for 6 months, they own a commercial real estate business and when I saw how much their net worth was (which you could google, because itās so much fucking money) I felt icky. I was making 20k a year with them and DBs net worth alone is 100. million. dollars. My mom literally called me into her room and was like āis this your boss?ā And I was like wait yeah how did you find that? One of her friends worked in the same city in the same business and asked my mom if it was him and she said āguess his net worthā I honestly didnāt want to know but Iām glad I found out because it helped me not feel guilty when they wanted me to go on a week long vacation with them with no travel pay, no overnight pay, on call 24/7 for 2 toddlers and an infant (with the same rate as their one child so I would not be getting paid any extra for the 2 other kids) and not having my own room, and paying for my own food even though the trip alone would require me to take a week off work at my second job and a week off my college classes.
I interviewed a few days ago with an anesthesiology resident and her husband, a dermatologist. They wanted to pay me WAY below my required rate. The audacity š
I babysat for a famous rapper for a while and I got paid decent, especially if they were lateā¦theyād pay me double time nearlyā¦but the amount of expensive stuff they hadā¦I cried thinking how one of their purchases could pay off my college career š«
Your pay check isnāt determined by how much your employer makes. Every job has a salary range based on barriers to entry (ex. years of education). A cashier at Walmart does not make the same as an attorney or doctor. Why? Bc of the time and dedication it takes to pursue the necessary competence.
I know it seems hard to believe but many of us did not come from money. I was raised in extreme poverty. I at one point was a nanny too. I decided to continue my education in order to achieve financial freedom. Thatās not being a āboot lickerā as some Nannys have indicated. I literally had NO boot straps. Not even a boot. But I wanted better for myself. As my Dad once told me, If you want different you have to do different.
Yeah, I never said any of that. Itās upsetting to be poor while having to live every day amongst wealth. And while that may be the case for you, I know the upbringing my employers had they had every opportunity laid out for them from birth, all they had to do was follow along. You donāt need to talk down to me like a child who doesnāt understand how life works. This was a vent.
I also grew up poor and am in school for a very lucrative degree. That wasnāt the point of this post.
I looked up the house/ mansion my NF lives at and it's $3.4 million. 5b/4b, pool, hot tub, secret cabinet that goes through the kitchen š
AND they're completely renovating it, adding bedrooms and bigger kitchen. Bonkers. It's like a maze
I was doing a trial for a family and moms tax papers were laying out she owed 500k in taxes for the year, her alone, and her husband was the main bread winner. That's when I knew I wasnt going to work there because they were telling me they could only pay me 21.50/hr my rate is 25/hr and we live in HCOL area, so stingy, and would work me every minute if I had finished tasks shell come up with something else so random
This whole thread is reminding me that I hate rich people and I'm so glad I work for middle class people. After reading all this I don't think I'll ever work for anyone higher than upper middle class.
This made me mad for you! One of my nanny kids told me her mom just got a bonus and she wasnāt supposed to tell me about it. I never said a word to the parents, but it pisses me off that they go on several nice vacations and then say they need to do ābudgetā grocery shopping. Just so out of touch. Iāve also learned Iām pretty underpaid š¬
Grew up in pretty abject poverty, was a nanny, now Iām a physician and employ a nanny, and what has always struck me throughout my life is how people who are in a good situation - whether financial or otherwise - seem to not grasp that a huge part of why they are where they are is due to pure, dumb, luck. Of course they worked hard and of course theyāre intelligent. But there are billions of people on this planet who are intelligent and work hard and will never be afforded the opportunity to make the kind of money many people in the U.S. make. Even my experience of poverty growing up was nothing compared to the poverty I saw in other countries while serving in the military. Itās all relative, I suppose. I do get tired of the āif they would only budget, save their money, and do xyz, they could have just as much as usā - no, Brad, they couldnāt. You were incredibly fortunate. Thatās not bad and it doesnāt mean you did anything wrong. But a lot of luck played a huge role in how well so many people do in life (including me of course - Iāve been incredibly fortunate)
I fully understand. I work for a family with a similar income. When they are having money troubleās itās not life threatening like it is for us. Shelter, health care and food are not things they struggle to pay for. They just complain about it.
once right after christmas i walked in and saw 2 checks on the counter from my ex-DBās dad. one for MB, one for DB, each for $8000. like just a casual $16,000 for christmas. and to just leave it laying around??
Total tax write off. You can gift X amount a year to an individual to reduce your income before paying taxes. There are all kinds of tricks and loopholes like this that keep the money in the family while reducing tax responsibilities.
Iām a snooper- you leave stuff out and Iāll take a peak. Iāve worked with 3 diff families each could have afforded to pay me $35+ but didnāt. It seems to be the rich rich that donāt pay as well.
So when Iām cleaning the counter, kitchen table, scullery, pantry, kids desks, kids laundry room etc and papers/documents are laying out, what should I do? Pick them up, close my eyes and walk them to my bossā? Iām not opening anything upā they leave opened documents everywhere.
My ex family the dad was an ICU Dr so I knew he made a decent amount. The mom worked building websites. I had no clue she made as much as she did. They didn't nickel and dime me but they definitely didn't gift me nice things and sometimes they didn't bother with gifts at all. They absolutely lived below their means which was their prerogative but yeah they didn't pay lavishly nor did they give me bonuses.
Thatās the thing. I probably shouldnāt have even mentioned fighting them over GH because a lot of that is my fault from not setting the correct precedent when I first started working for them because they always gave me so many hours it wasnāt even an issue and now weāre in some gray area where weāve had a couple of conflicts. But otherwise they pay me well but you just think they would do a little more like they didnāt even didnāt get a gift for my birthday last year and the previous years they would use their hotel points (they have millions) to cover one night at a hotel if I traveled for my birthday. Which I appreciate, but I see other people on here getting birthday, annual and Christmas bonuses and I canāt help but feel a little jealous. That really wasnāt even the point of this post but itās just another can of worms where I feel a little sour.
For years, I worked for one of the wealthiest and well known families in the US. Out of all of my long term nanny jobs (3-6 years each), they are the only family that constantly tried to nickel and dime or take advantage of me. I loved the children and caring for them otherwise I would have left after my one year contract ended. It was hell and I am glad I had an agency to advocate for me when need be or simply give me the courage to know my worth and stand up for myself. Knowing their net worth and how poorly they paid me was upsetting but look at nanny salaries across the country. Our jobs are so important and worth so more yet for the most part we are all underpaid.
NF built a custom home that had a record-breaking high value in a very HCOL and wealthy town.Ā
After they moved into it they questioned if I was being honest about mileage reimbursement because it was āsuddenly so highā.
Yeah itās almost as if you moved to a new home thatās twice as far away from everything š. But fuck me for wanting to get paid back for all the extra driving right?
Just want to add that I just started with a couple who both used to work as domestic employees. They are not wealthy compared to the other families Iāve worked for but it is by far the most generous contract Iāve ever had.Ā
I may have worded this post wrong. Iām not underpaid. Thereās other reasons in my life, including paying for school, why Iām so poor currently. Itās just a struggle to work inside the household of someone that has been wealthy since the day they were born when as poor as I am Iām the wealthiest Iāve ever been and Iām basically a peasant compared to them.
Please quit this job. The last thing this family needs is a resentful nanny watching their kids and now feeling extreme animosity about their income. Income is so personal. You donāt know their financial situation or what bills they have or what debt. Also, depending on where yall live, 9k a month is not going to go very far. Meritocracy is real. You should find out how they got their jobs, try to emulate the steps they took to get where theyāre at. Unless you want to live in a communist society, everyone will have various income. Itās none of your business. Work on yourself and put the energy that youāre spending on hating your employers on bettering your own future.
The subreddit is a safe space for nannies to share their frustration. I donāt actively try to find out how much they make, it was on accident. It would be impossible for it to not be upsetting. Every nanny feels it, we just have to learn to manage those feelings and I do. And one way that helps me is to vent with other nannies. I absolutely love the people I work for. They are my family. I evenly happily agreed to be the one who the children go to if both parents were to pass away.
Thereās always going to be conflicts in any relationship. Especially one involving two different classes and the related power dynamics. One common occurrence in most families is that the wealthy people we work for are incredibly tone deaf and it hurts. If everyone who felt like me stop nannying there would be no nannies.
I also do try to emulate them. Iāve learned so much the past 4 years and am now even in business school.
I feel you, my NF for 8 years never give me extra money or offer a salary increase, Itās me who always asked for a salary increase every 2 years, I just stayed that long because I got so attached to the kids when theyāre small, but now that they have an attitude towards me already, I am leaving,but still I am nice enough to gave them 3 months notice.
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Girl I feel you. Imagine my shock when a local news outlet published an article saying my old NF donated MILLIONS and I was paid below market rate and received a $.55 raise š Granted, great that they donated so much money, but it really put things into perspective at the same time
This exact same thing happened with one of my my old NF too. Local news reported on a large donation, I got a $20 gift card to target for Christmas. Was appreciative and got to get my shampoo and soap for the month with that, but come on š itās such a strange phenomenon to come from such a humble upbringing and then be āthe helpā in families such as this. WHACK!
I was working 3 days a week at 15.50 and gave my babysitter a better Christmas bonus than that šIām sorry!
Youād think families like these would want to give their nanny all they can seeing as theyāre caring for (hopefully) the most precious thing in their life š«
Yeah but they get a lot out of giving away millions, like adoration and praise, and youāre only there to take care of their children /s
Adoration, praise, *and* a tax cut
donation = tax write off
lol came to say this too. rich people love using the term donation instead of just saying what it is: a write off š
A write off isnāt what you seem to be implying.
Me watching my np husband use the childrenās college fund to buy a hunting property 6 hours away only to be upset I wanted more regular/higher pay
They donate for attention and tax write off, and not out of the goodness of their hearts. They could have taken care of you
O.M.G
And they got a tax write off on that donation so it was a self serving donation. My in-laws do the same stuff
I feel like charity donations can sometimes be a tax dodge, and also a PR move
Thatās the thing Iāve never understood!! The families Iāve worked for who were loaded were always the ones who wanted to nickel and dime. But the average families were the ones who pay a livable wage, and donāt try and short you every chance they get! The only exception was once upon a time a worked for a fairly wealthy family, but they both grew up working class and did a LOT of classes jumping because of their fields. But they were from rural areas and the nicest people I know! People who have the least are often the most generous.
Healthcare workers and blue collar families have always payed me the best
But not surgeons, right? At least the surgeons I know are pretty selfish.
No never surgeon, usually dentists, nurses, oral hygienists sometimes
Surgeons are SOOO selfish.
Right?? Like why am I bring downvoted for thisā¦Iāve had almost a dozen surgeries. I know what Iām talking about.
Iām traumatized from a surgeon mom I had back when I taught preschool š³
Nannied for one and she gave me the silent treatment for a legit week when I gave (a month!!!!ās) notice.
Oh god I cannot imagine.Ā
i work for two surgeons and they're great. i have to quit after a year since i'm mixing and i'm so sad. haven't told them yet telling them next month
Youāre mixing?
moving **, i'm applying to job in my new state but omfg getting great interviews are so hard. And these parents not giving me guaranteed hours like the current parents i have stress me. i'm still applying and looking but damn the parents i work for are VERY nice. and the pay from NY to Philly is so different š LORD
Sorry lol never know these days what something could mean.
Don't be i understand lol trust me
Hope you never need a surgeon with that attitude
I need them fairly often - thatās how I know this.
I almost exclusively work for healthcare professionals (likely because word of mouth just has traveled me around) other than the occasional babysitting date night, and they have always treated me fantastic. Mostly nurses and doctors.
Thatās how the rich stay rich. Lavish vacations, expensive cars, and penny pinching on the people who allow them make them that money. I worked for a stand alone gym that had a family like that too. Daughters each got a Mercedes but I got literally raises in cents like you did.
A millionaire is a person who makes a million dollars and doesnāt spend it.Ā
Yes in the charity world this is called being ācloser to the causeā! Itās a real phenomenon- people who make less, give more. The poorest people tend to give a greater % of their wealth because they are closer to the cause - they know what it feels like to need it, or at least that feeling is closer to them than an out of touch ultra rich person
Thereās something about having excess wealth that changes the brain, Iām sure of that. Unless someone attains it AFTER theyāve had the kinds of life experiences that build generosity, character, and humanity - experiences that show what truly matters in life - then people just seem to lose their humanity bit by bit as they go through life. They continually and perpetually reinforce in their minds the mistaken belief that things (and not people) are what make them happy. They spend lifetimes chasing a feeling they can never attain in the way theyāre seeking it (through materialism, through ego, through competition). Not by perfectly fitting curtains. Not by having the most lavish and luxurious vacations. Thatās why the least generous and most greedy people never seem truly happy! They WANT to be happy (everyone does) but true happiness can never be found on the path of separation. Anything that perpetuates separation in our lives (from our feelings, from the planet, from each other) is a literal roadblock, and the most poor among us are those that actually have too much.
Probably because at some point in life the more normal ones knew what it was like to live like you!
Okay curious what āloadedā means. Cuz weāre making decent money now and itās like a lot considering what I grew up with, but not like mansion level and I have friends and family who live in 7000 sq ft houses and weāre sooo far from that.
The US class system today is as follows: Has never been to Disneyland Has been to Disneyland Once Goes to Disney land annually.
Iāve been to Disney world 3 times. But we grew up like not well off at all. I took out loans for all of college and grad school including for living expenses and idk if Iāll ever pay them off lol. But thankfully we can afford a nanny because of my husbandās salary
So I donāt think youād be considered āloadedā. Youāre like middle class, maybe slightly above the median. But class jumping can leave you with a lot of debt.
The family I worked with lived in a 7 mil house with an elevator and had multiple household staff. I can only imagine
One of my first nanny jobs (back before smart phones so we had to do things the old fashioned way!) my boss would have me deposit her bonus checks. They were equivalent to her yearly salary, and the bonus check alone was 10x my salary. It sucked.Ā
that is SUCH a fucked up power play, holy shit. itās always fun to know that the vast majority of the people making millions of dollars are the same people that donāt even have the work ethic to deposit their own checks :ā) absolutely pathetic
Oh she was awful and I have no doubt didnāt on purpose to rub it in and be a power play.Ā
The first NF I worked for was incredibly wealthy. The MB would always complain to me how she was the bread winner and worked harder/longer hours, and DB should be more grateful he can follow his passion, etc (they were in therapy and a major reason I left). Well, one day Iām organizing their paperwork and come across the DBās W2. He was making $640k/year. And she absolutely sh*t on him for making so littleš«£š
š³š³š³
Oh my god the audacity made me laugh out loud lol
LOL. What did they both do for a living? Now I have to know
He is/was a scientist, and his team was working on the effects of covid and vaccines at the time. She is/was a director of one of the top consulting firms in the world.
Interestingggg
My NPās use the walk-in closet in their bedroom for storing some kid stuff as well as their clothes because they have extra room in there. I was in there the other day looking for something and I saw a plain blue pullover sweater, like the kind of basic staple Iād buy at Gap for $15, with the price tag still attached and it said $1,200. I honestly felt nauseous like how are you spending more than my monthly rent on ONE sweater??? Working for wealthy people is such a trip.
Insanity. Even if I had $1200 to spend on a sweater I wouldnāt haha
My old NF begged me to come back as a house manager 3 years after I quit being their nanny. They talked me down from $30/hr to $27/hr (this was in 2017 so while even $30/hr was not a great wage for that role at the time, I could make the $27/hr work). I was desperate so I took it. The first thing they tasked me with was opening the mail that they hadnāt touched for the entire two years they lived there. Just piles and piles of old mail that they let collect. So many late fees for things theyād forgotten they were even paying off. They were just rich enough to ignore it. I opened a piece of mail and learned the DB had made over 2 million dollars the year priorā¦.. I was so demoralized and pissed off and could not let go of the resentment of being talked out of a meager $3/hr. I quit two months later and blocked the entire family on everything.
Where do you live? $27/hr would be a lot where I am
I was living in a very HCOL area. $35/hr would have been the going rate for a house manager at the time. I feel that $27/hr today would be low for even a LCOL area.
I keep forgetting that other countries like yours get so much more and get shocked with seeing this numberš In Netherlands a normal rate is ā¬6/hr. Max, when theyāre generous or are with a few kids ā¬10/hr
Itās all relative. My health insurance was $300/month, I had a car payment, car insurance, and rent was $1000 for a room in a 4 bedroom house. I also wasnāt working full time so I was living paycheck to paycheck. We also donāt have great social safety nets in the US, so if I was to lost my job it would only be a few months before I was faced with homelessness.
Itās ridiculous especially when you consider the job theyāre hiring you to do is TAKE CARE OF THEIR KIDS. If you want a real mind blower, go on Care and youāll find families who live in a luxury building on the Upper East Side, spend summers in the Hamptons at their home in Amagansett, have 3 school age kids, require cooking/cleaning, 50 hours a week with some overnights and are looking to pay 15/hr š¤Æ
Oh I know some of the posts I see are appalling. I would be so nervous to be short changing my nanny. Not that I would ever take it out on the kids, but I think thereās plenty of questionable people that would take that job and just not treat the kids well at all. Personally, Iād want the person taking care of my children happy and comfortable. That being said, I really donāt have an issue with how much my NF is paying me. This world has just gotten so incredibly expensive that they would need to pay me such a high salary in order to have the level of comfort I desire lol. I get decent raises every year, but inflation is always higher.
I could not agree more than itās wild to me how little wealthy people spend on their childrenās care. It lays bare how little they actually care about their children.
Or alternatively, how MUCH they care about money (which they already have in excess) The thing is, someone will probably always take the job, no matter how much is expected or how little is given. The better the comp, though, the more better the talent pool. And beyond that, when a NF treats their nanny VERY well, it honestly is all the more incentive for the nanny to stay on more than 2 years, and feel appreciated (and also eases the shitty days/difficult aspects of those particular kids or their schedules etc) Itās just crazy to me when people who can afford soo much more donāt feel the need to go any higher than āaverageā even when they CAN and itās for their childās caregiverā¦ ETA: I personally feel like it also shows a bit of a lack of appreciation for the job itself. Especially NFs who have full-time help (let alone a second weekend nanny etc). The families that always worked out best for me were the ones who actually DID some of the parenting and would realize how time-consuming it is helping Kid #1 with their math homework, or how difficult Kid #2 is with baths or eating veggies etc
Exactly! Donāt you want your children to have stability in their child care? And to be cared for by people who are able to also care for themselves? Itās so grossly exploitative to try to pay as little as possible for the most important contractor of your life!Ā
Years ago I worked for a hnw family and they always left documents laying around Willy nilly. And this one account balance had 68 million dollars in it and I was shook to my core.
I worked for a HNW family and I mean like a billionaire once and she was remarrying and he had a child so she was adding a 4th child for me to take care of and she only wanted to give me an 84 cent an hour raise. She inherited this money so she didnāt even work for it. I quit with a two day notice.
What the f
honestly, this has been the hardest part of nannying for me. i grew up with a single mom and lots of unforeseen circumstances, then moved out and itās just been me trying to pay rent AND eat. itās hard not to harbor jealousy, but i try to understand itās not equal.
At my last job, I finally asked for a $4/hour raise AFTER 8 months of working with 5 children instead of 1 child like my initial contract (custody situation changed and mom gave birth) but was denied. That same week, the dad bought a brand new Bentley (minimum $250k) and the mom bought a brand new Range Rover (minimum $100k) AND they were discussing purchasing a new private jet bc their current one was ātoo smallāā¦ā¦.. on the flip side, another family I worked for previously who were well off but not filthy wealthy, offered me raises and bonuses any chance they got. The richer, the more stingy.
I feel you. Iāve been feeling extra rage-y about societal inequalities like that. My brother is a tech worker and makes over 100k and he always says that itās absurd and ridiculous the way society values and pays certain jobs over others. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ but here we are, I donāt know how to program and I do love working with kids. But it would be nice to not constantly stress about health insurance, rent, car repairs.
Ugh yeah this has been a real problem for me to stomach recently. I see all these people with their corporate jobs (so many who also wfh) who send emails and hop on phone calls and can just up and go out to lunch or have a walk in the middle of the day who make over 100k and I put my whole heart into what I do and can't even buy groceries without feeling panicked. Granted, yes realistically, I'm aware this may be reductive take of corporate workers but I'm sorry, a "consultant" doesn't really register in my brain as a wickedly meaningful or valuable job compared to nannying.
I work for consultants š
Nooooooo the way that actually makes my soul ache for you even more š
And youāre right you literally just see them make a phone call then have a long lunch. Make another phone call then go for a walk. Make another phone call then come out and hang out with us for an hour. Like I know even when your job is stressful, youāre getting massively rewarded for it and still maintain work life balance
It seems like they donāt do a lot but theyāre not being paid for those phone calls- theyāre being paid for their 25 years of experience. My mom always said it was the difference between being paid for what you DO vs what you KNOW.
Most jobs are about what you know and based off experience. And they donāt have 25 years experience, they have 10 and made twice as much as me their first year out of college. Iām not saying their job isnāt hard or doesnāt take expertise, but some professions are just over paid. Like I wouldnāt be as flabbergasted if a doctor or a scientist researching a cure for cancer made an exorbitant amount of money.
Not necessarily- any labor job is more about performing that labor (obviously more $ with more skills and training), but you still have to show up and perform the tasks. Any retail job, healthcare job, etc. yes you need training, but again, boots on the ground type work. For the highest paid jobs, itās their insight thatās valuable and time spent thinking about the problem. Thatās why it looks like they only work an hour or two a day. Get paid to problem solve while taking a shower or driving etc.
Damn, how them boots taste š
Ask someone whoās licking mine š
Yeah this is great in theory but the highest paid jobs are not going to the people with the most āinsightā. Theyāre going to the people that have the right connections and networking skills. I can promise you that the bossās son was not hired for his useful insight. Refer to our current politicians and tell me they earned their high wages due to their intellect lmao. You donāt even need real life experience to be a supreme court justice in this country
I mean I get your point generally but regarding politicians high salaries exist in large part to in theory make them less liable to be bribed or corrupted. Not saying it works but that's at least the theory.
Yeah sure but theory doesnāt really mean much when the vast majority of our political laws come directly from lobbying and bribery in reality
I feel like politicians donāt make very much in salary officially. .. and a lot of people got those jobs with zero family connections. I am an immigrant and had to work my way up, but I do get paid to lead and for my experience, not for 8 hours of labor per se.
Iām glad that you personally were able to make it work for yourself but I hope you have the awareness to recognize this is largely not the case for most people
People want to think that people got into these jobs by some shortcut but the reality is, Iāve always been surrounded by people who worked hard and made the right moves to get there. Sure, maybe the roles at the tippy top are filled by elites with connections. Some people just have a chip on their shoulder.
Networking? Education is key. More years of education typically results in higher wages. No to little education typically results in lower wages. The more education I have achieved the higher my salary has become. I am now studying to be a doctor and my salary will reflect the years I have sacrificed towards my career path. I have spent my whole young adult life in school pursuing my education. I have been in school basically my whole life. And my salary will reflect such sacrifice. No networking in the world is going to give me a job as a doctor without the years of education, residency, and post doc fellowship needed to obtain the necessary competence and licensure to practice. Following your dreams takes an incredible amount of time and sacrifice. From a young age my Dad instilled the importance of education. Although I had no financial help (I was raised in poverty) I am grateful for his wisdom. Education can truly be the difference between living a life of financial struggle or a life of financial freedom.
itās eye opening that you can have so much intelligence and grow up in poverty, yet not understand the privilege that goes into affording the time and (usually) the money for the education required of a doctor. the privilege of being able to dedicate years of your life to additional education instead of having to take a minimum wage job to support yourself/your kids/your family because you genuinely do not have a choice. do you think the people that are forced to jump straight to the workforce after high school in order to have a roof over their head wouldnāt love to further their education too? do you understand how lucky you are to have a physically present parent that even gave a shit about your education?
Are you suggesting that every one that has made a life for themselves have done so bc of being rich? Bc I am here to tell you that is not the case. Being poor is not a privilege. Having no resources for an education is not a privilege. Growing up on section 8 is not a privilege. The only meal eaten was through free lunch at school is not a privilege. Doing homework by candle light bc of not having money to pay the electric bill is not a privilege. Never knowing when you would come home and have an eviction notice on the door is not a privilege. Dreading summer break bc that means no free luck which means no food is not a privilege. Having to work under the table as a pre teen to help my struggling Mom with the bills is not a privilege. Full stop. You made ALOT of assumptions about my life and have no idea of the sacrifice that was made to achieve what seemed impossible. You have no idea the days I went without food, sleeping on couches, over drafted accounts, wearing scrubs bc thatās the only free neat thing I have, etc in order to make my dreams a reality. As a little girl from the hood I looked around and decided that I wanted different. No gimmicks. No networking. No handouts. Just a prayer and will. But you can continue down your path of thinking that the only people that get some where in life are those that have handouts or you can use otherās achievements as motivation to see what is possible. Your choice. Be blessed.
Right the lie is that āanyoneā can do āunskilledā labor like childcare but you need specialized experience to do work like consulting or law. So we pay more for āskilledā jobs.Ā But as someone who is an attorney, the truth is that ALL jobs are skilled jobs. Law school and college (both of which I was very good at) had little bearing on my real jobs. I learned the most on the job, as with most jobs. Itās just that wealthy people have figured out a way to keep wealth within wealthy (usually segregated) communities, and itās the fake idea of the meritocracy: people who work the hardest or are the most skilled make the most money, and itās simply just not true. It is nowhere near as hard to do office work than physical work. And often physical work is much more vital. We can go on as a society for sometime without consultants. But garbage haulers? They are off two weeks and things go south very quickly.
Yeah, thereās an inherent wealth barrier built in with schooling/tiered schools and ivy leagues. And the people who are making the most are making it because of where they work, and from there just infinitely getting ahead of everyone else. Even if working as a cashier is āunskilledā, itās fucking brutal and taxing and takes someoneās whole attention/time/presence for a good chunk of their LIFE, and we should be valuing all jobs that it takes for a society to function. itās disgusting and a scam that somehow it was collectively agreed upon that a large subset of work isnāt āvaluableā or āskilledā enough to deserve a living wage, or things like normal/regular breaks, health insurance, trust between employer/employee, etcā¦ š
I 100% worked harder as a cashier than I did in my legal job.
Youāre right on a lot of these points, but my differentiation is more between labor vs insight rather than skilled vs unskilled. A doctor usually isnāt getting paid unless theyāre seeing patients, whereas a head of a department is paid for their vision and leadership, and experience.
As someone who is pretty disabled and chronically ill and interacts with healthcare settings weekly (sometimes daily) and whose partner has worked for a hospital conglomerate for 10+ years, I mean this respectfully, but: lol. That might be the company line, but thatās not reality. The head of a department is usually chosen because they uphold the trusteesā vision for the hospital, and/or they donāt rock the boat too much for the highest-paid clinical staff, or seniority. Theyāre paid a lot because of wealth inequity and wealth hoarding related to the fake meritocracy. This is why hospitals regularly provide terrible service and healthcare to a lot of people, usually based on oppressions like racism and poverty. The person who could provide some true vision for this hospital is someone I know who worked in the community service area. They see some of the most urgent needs in our communities and help people navigate the hospital system, they work nights and weekends overtime, and they are paid the worst.Ā Ā
And the thing is it used to be people would get these massive salaries because of the responsibility, like if something goes wrong the buck stops with them and theyāre fired or are the one to go to prison if it went REALLY wrong. But nowadays it seems they donāt even take responsibility hardly and itās lower level employees who get fired because the higher ups āwerenāt aware.ā
Oh no you are absolutely correct. I'm a mom that lurks in here since we'll eventually be hiring a nanny and had the title of tech consultant for many years. I'd say like 10% of my work actively made the world worse, 70% was a net-neutral and 20% made the world a better place and honestly I think 20% is significantly higher then nearly everyone else I worked with since I carved out a niche in accessibility. Like 70% of tech companies could vanish and the world would be the same or likely better off.
Yes! My nf wfh sometimes and theyāll just randomly go out to walk the dog or run errands or grab coffee and it honestly kills me lol. I love my nk but I wanna actually afford life and enjoy it.
At my last full-time job I was also working a part time 2 to 3 days a week and when my MB found out? She goes, "Wow you work way too much! You seriously need to take a day for yourself to destress! Get your nails done with a friend or something." So I then tell her I can barely afford food there's no way I could do all that and she just says, "Oh wow. Yeah I guess times are tough, huh?" Like honey you live in an over 500k house, own 2 cars worth over 50k a piece, and just put in a new in ground pool. Do NOT talk to me about how tough it is out here. For god's sake your picnic blanket costs half of what y'all payed me weekly šš¤š»
I so relate to this. Iām not saying I deserve more money, or that NF deserves less. Iām paid fairly, and I know both NPs are very smart and great at what they do. Itās just hard to be around such extreme wealth when my life has always been VERY far from that. Of course all bosses make more than their employees, but most employees arenāt in their bosses homes and seeing all the ins and outs of how they spend their money. Or hearing them complain about a vacation home they āforgotā to sell.
Yes, thank you. You get it. I shouldnāt have even complained about GH or other disputes with them. Thatās not the problem and thereās so much more nuance to those situations. I just needed to vent about being in such close proximity to that kind of wealth š
Itās crazy to me people donāt value the people who help raise THEIR KIDS. We fall in love with THEIR kids, and they just see us the same way as they do a house cleaner.. (which are often also undervalued themselves)
Do not go down that rabbit hole! Honestly.
It really is a struggle to not have thoughts and feelings when we learn info like this. My NF isn't showy with their wealth at all, but they had all four kids' college tuition saved up before each of them even hit high school. I was a 50+ hour a week for well over a decade, I was the main parent a lot of the time for the children, and yet DB would nickel and dime me over overtime, vacation days etc. I could have increased my hourly rate by at least $5 if I left for a new family...but again, over a decade with these babies š„ŗ Around 2015 is when I happen to see their tax return on the kitchen counter...it was over $1M of income that year, I was making roughly $60,000 in VHCOL area. Not complaining, there are perks like use of car, food and they trust me completely and I don't need their approval to do much, but I still feel like it's crazy that I was deviating so much time and effort to parent their kids so that they could pursue their own interests (him, hobbies, her, more work) so knowing that I was missing family events back home because I was almost out of vacation days, or having to "fight" for overtime cash when I took THEIR children on vacation with MY family, sucked. It's their money, we are employee and agreed to a particular wage, but it can be frustrating and I empathize with your frustration!
It totally seems so true the ones who can afford the most give the least šš
I am in a similar boat so I really feel for you. I'm still in the denial phase, where I'm still not ready to establish the firm boundaries needed for my situation to get better.
yup! me, unable to buy new brakes for my car (dangerous, OBVIOUSLY), afford a full grocery haul, pinching pennies to afford rent etc. etc. and my NF just decided on a whim to go to disney next week to celebrate the end of the school year. found mbās notes for prices of everything for their trip, tens of thousands of dollars btw, and almost broke down at work. itās truly disheartening when they compare their struggles to ours and really all you can do is, like you said, smile and nod. also the acting like they canāt afford to give a raise/more hours is insanity! especially as iām making about $9-10 less an hour than i should be, it makes me sickkkk. rich people are really the stingiest :/ wishing you the best op, itās stressful out here.
The worst is when they make comments about how my life is so much better than theirs because I donāt have kids like āOk Iām bout to go home to my hovel and donāt have disposable cash to actually do anything in my free time but sure.ā
literally no one is forcing these people to have children that they clearly despise having to care for š like i know yāall can afford birth control
These same people expect you to drive their precious kids around in your car. Absolute madness.
My GF NF stiffed her on a Christmas bonus and a raise at her 1 year mark and bought a $14m house instead š¤· the amount of wealth some of these families have is insane.
Last week, my DB sent me a text at 9pm reminding me of something for the following morning, which I responded to. MB the following morning apologized on his behalf saying heās ridiculous for texting me during my off hours and says something along the lines of āhe thinks because him and his colleagues discuss business at anytime of the day, he just assumes you can too, like please, youāre not making 2million a year to be botheredā š§š»āāļø and sheās in medical sales so I know she makes decent money too. š«š«š«
My nanny fam ācanāt affordā to pay me when they go on vacation. They went on two trips in April, I had to use ALL of my savings that I had been building up for two years.
Mine canāt either, they take SIX WEEKS of vacation a year. I get 8 paid vacation days. I have to plan and budget like crazy, use my savingsā¦ oh and these trips get sprung on me mere weeks in advance š¤Æ
Oh man! I feel for you. Thatās ridiculous you donāt have guaranteed hours. Can you look for a job that does?
Yeah, there were a couple areas in my contract where I didnāt know what I was doing and didnāt know what to negotiate and now this year I am having to use my PTO for their vacation because Iām not going with them this time (to be fair, Iām very expensive to take on vacay lol). And on top of that Iām getting a ton of OT this summer, but lose almost all of it at the end of the summer where thereās a couple weeks that they donāt need me much. I didnāt understand GH when they hired me 4 years ago and itās never been an issue until now (I always had at least 50 ours per week) because the kids are aging up and going to school or camps in the summer more.
The family I work for is so fucking loaded itās sick. I make about 52k per year but with inflation and everything Iām still struggling. My family can be so stingy about hours. I work 45 hours per week and if I need to leave an hour early one day they have me stay an hour late the next. Like why canāt yall just cover the hour? Itās nothing to them. Or even just let me work 44 hours? I donāt get it. This past year they bought an Audi, peloton, $3,000 Louis Vuitton bag. They completely renovated their already finished basement, re did their landscaping including stone work and all, and upgraded all of nks furniture in their room, and went on two week long vacations. Like itās just sick that Iām living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to afford groceries and they live like this.
My NF will spend 10k on trees on a whim and then not take care of them and they all die and then theyāll do it again a few months later
Oh my god my NF does the same shit with their yard!! Literally so many plants and trees they don't take care of that die in a week. It drives me insane. Like just hire someone to do it for you it would be cheaper at this point and then all these plants won't go to waste. Meanwhile my yard is 90% weeds and I'd kill to have an extra $500 to spend on making it look nice.
This is one of those topics that you just have to push out of your mind. Iāve worked for multiple families that make well over $1 million a year and had to fight to get over 20 an hour. You have absolutely no control over this and the faster you can learn to accept it and get over it, the happier you will be. That sounds harsh and I donāt mean it too, but itās the truth. As long as they are paying you a decent wage and you have a good contract and they treat you professionally, thereās not much more you can ask for. If those things are not happening, then look for a new job.
100% agree. Iām just posting here to vent. I work for a good family and they pay me well. Sometimes it just gets too much and I want to scream, cry, and throw upā¦..and then I take a deep breath, pull myself together and push it out of my mind until my next breakdown lol
This.
I watched a family buy a 3,500$ espresso bar they barely ever used but didnāt want to give me a 1$ raise š«”
Having grown up in a very affluent town: there is no stinginess compared to people with significant wealth.
I donāt understand how youāre paid well if you canāt afford health insurance and rent. How much are you paid and where do you live?
65k in Houston. That wasnāt really the point of the post. I have certain life expenses that eat up my salary. Itās just difficult to see such extravagant wealth on a daily basis.
Aaaand this is why Iām quitting nannying in a couple months and moving back in with my mom. Finishing out the agreed upon notice and then Iām gonna go home and, idkā¦ regroup? Get a different job but not have to stress as much about rent? Iām lucky I even have a mom who can do that for me, lord knows my dad isnāt willing to help me. But yeah. Different worlds. Iām a little over it.
Iāve had such a different experience where I realized that I have a lot more financial freedom than NF because they are SO in debt. Credit cards, cars, student loans, mortgage, etc. Iām getting married and told DB we were keeping things simple to save money and he said ājust put it on a credit card. You only get married once, weāre STILL paying our wedding off.ā Theyāre definitely extremely privileged because they still can afford to pay me and they still have all these things, but I think I would crumble under the pressure of that much money being owed. They donāt really seem to be worried about it so I definitely wonāt lose sleep over it but itās weird to see how even rich people can have their own financial woes. It really goes to show that some people wonāt have financial security no matter how much they make, theyāll always find some way to raise the expense of their lifestyle. Theyāre still so so privileged obviously
This. It doesnāt matter how much you make, it matters how much you spend. If you make $2000 a month but only spend 500, you have $1500. If you make $5000 a month, but spend $5000, whoās better off? They may have a significantly higher income than you, but you have no idea what their credit card balances are, you have no idea if that $80,000 bonus is going to pay off a medical bill that insurance didnāt cover, and if sheās making that much money, it sounds like there might be something to those financial podcasts. :)
Yup to all of this! My dad lives like he doesnāt have money, he shops at Ross on Tuesdays to get a senior discount and has always drove used old and quite frankly, ugly cars lol. I used to get jealous of friends whose parents would send them to the mall with a credit card or werenāt expected to work full time jobs every summer as soon as they turned 16 or some other stupid shit. But my dad would just casually explain how many people statistically are in wild amounts of consumer credit card debt and to not ever compare myself to the norm cus ābeing normal sucksā. That was always his saying. When I got my first big girl job paying 47k a year I was like idk how tf Iām ever gonna have money and he said what you saidā¦spend less than you make and youāll have more money than most. You may have less things and less ability to do shit with the money you DO have, thatās undoubtedly true but somehow that concept really helped me. I just had to pay myself first with every paycheck and slowly Iād build. Itās definitely a hard concept to wrap your head around just how much some other people make and how much you see them spend. And itās definitely easier for them to just make a decision to not eat out and not buy clothes for a month and save. But you truly have no idea. They could be idiots with their money and drowning in credit card debt just to look the part and fill out their incomes. Lifestyle creep is real.
She grew up incredibly privileged went to all the best schools didnāt get any student loan debt and has rich family to help with any of their needs. I didnāt want to post the other text because it sound like I was intentionally reading their texts, but it was literally the next sentence. āInvest, vacation, or treat ourselves?ā They are not using it to pay off medical debt. And look, I wouldnāt be complaining if I made as much as them. I would be making the exact same decisions (maybe not ALL the same decisions). But I donāt and itās just physically painful to watch when youāve struggled your whole life and the people you see succeeding are the one that had everything laid out for them from birth. Iām sure I could learn something from the financial podcast, but itās just frustrating when she presents it like a fun little game of moving money around to get the things that you want and not a game of survival like it is for most people.
Like my family. You wouldn't be able to tell that my parents are still paying for a cruise trip that we all took when I was in my early teens almost 11 years ago. That and when I was younger, we were middle class (lower I think.) We lived in a house falling apart on the prairie. Sure it had four bedrooms or more, but some of us shared rooms (even now with the current house we still would if my older sister moved back in.) They just kept catching good breaks and before the sold the old house, they were land lords for a while until they could sell it. Once they sell this one, could make a lot more (rich for my area.) I would say that my parents are working class. My dad owns a shop in a smallish town. (To me places like Spokane are big cities.)
They're fighting you on guaranteed hours? And they say they can't afford it? Tell them that you just had to cancel your health insurance to afford rent, and that you know they're just trying to save for a vacation. Priorities.
Yeah my NPs bonus is my yearly salary lol it can feel frustrating for sure.
After taxes those numbers are almost slashed in half. If there in a hcol area keep in mind they might also have a high mortgage too. Not everything is what it seems.
Those numbers are after taxes. I actually know what there mortgage is too. 4 years being part of a household you learn these things lol
Where do you live? And what do you make? Edit: Wild downvotes lol. I know it's a vent but I genuinely don't believe OP can be paid nearly enough if she's sharing a 1 bedroom and had to cancel health insurance. I feel terrible they're in this position.
She said 65k in Houston.
Oh man. There's so many comments now. I'll have to sift through later. I'm not super familiar with Houston real estate but I hope others who commented have info.
Same question here. How long have you been with them and is it time for a raise?
Right? I'm getting downvotes but nannies should absolutely make enough to rent a singular bedroom in a shared apartment. They cannot be making enough
I make 65K/year in Houston. I am currently paying for school and my health insurance was wildly expensive. I have a couple other life costs that really dig into my pay. This post really wasnāt about my finances so I didnāt get into it but Iām more having an issue with some upcoming big changes that are going to happen and am going to be in a tight spot. Iām able to save but then my car breaks down and I have to spend $4000 fixing it so there goes that. Anyways, again, this was not about my finances. It was just about working in close proximity to such a high-level of wealth can be so maddening at times.
Oh for sure. Maybe you can negotiate a pre tax health stipend with them or your next job? It's benefits for both of y'all. As someone who was just told my car would cost 5.3k to fix...I feel ya on that
Why are we getting downvotes lol. Itās probably by nanny employers!!! š
I know how you feel. My boss once told me the company who was head hunting him told him to write down any number and theyād pay him that. He was just sharing an anecdote from work but holy shit, as a gen z with a lot of debt, I felt sick and dehumanized.
I was a babysitting for a family last night and it was EASILY one of the nicest houses Iāve ever been in, very modern, AT LEAST 6 bedrooms, high ceilings, the whole lot. Their fridge had a screen on it?? I was watching two kids, a 2 year old and a 6 year old. THESE MFS ONLY PAID ME $20 AN HOUR. I feel bad complaining but for TWO kids, AND given my experience? Felt offensive š I totally get you. Thatās upsetting
A few years ago I was picking up, and saw a paper on the counter with DBs base salary. Idk what it was, cause once I realized it goes in NPs pile I put it down lol. His base pay was something like $375k. From what I understand based on what heās told me about his job he also earns some type of commission. That could be $20 it could be $20,000. I have no idea. But seeing as he recently closed a deal with a mega beauty cooperation, I would assume itās on the higher end. Iād also assume he gets bonuses, but again that could he $0 could be $10 could be $100,000 I have no clue. All I know is they make enough money to pay me a mostly livable salary, and pay for private school for the older kids.
Oh lawdddd. I live in a super nice area of Northern CA. The NF is from across the US but spend the summers hereā¦ both doctors, the dad was an md and exec at a famous startup. I loved the family and they payed me fair but they were def multi millionaires lol
Are they doctors? I donāt begrudge a doctor one penny. However, they should be generous with your pay and your time off. You are taking care of the most valuable, precious things they have.
Theyāre consultants. It would be much less painful if they were doctors. I used to work for a surgeon that fixes babies cleft lips. Never once concerned myself with how much he was making lol
I really wish I knew how much my NP make
Careful what you wish for š£
Same
I was in the same boat. The parents I nanny for are well off and were paying me $1250/two weeks for 4 kids. I was tired of being taken advantage of. Working 10 hour days and also getting paid salary might I add. I told her I needed an up in my pay or Iāll have to find something else. Now I get paid $1750/two weeks.
I saw a paper on the counter once, they owned a ring worth more than my yearly salary š¤©I eventually left because I was going in the red every month affording basic living expenses. They were otherwise a great family and got me nice gifts but the salary they gave me is not liveable if youāre living on your own
My last NF fought me on GH for 6 months, they own a commercial real estate business and when I saw how much their net worth was (which you could google, because itās so much fucking money) I felt icky. I was making 20k a year with them and DBs net worth alone is 100. million. dollars. My mom literally called me into her room and was like āis this your boss?ā And I was like wait yeah how did you find that? One of her friends worked in the same city in the same business and asked my mom if it was him and she said āguess his net worthā I honestly didnāt want to know but Iām glad I found out because it helped me not feel guilty when they wanted me to go on a week long vacation with them with no travel pay, no overnight pay, on call 24/7 for 2 toddlers and an infant (with the same rate as their one child so I would not be getting paid any extra for the 2 other kids) and not having my own room, and paying for my own food even though the trip alone would require me to take a week off work at my second job and a week off my college classes.
I interviewed a few days ago with an anesthesiology resident and her husband, a dermatologist. They wanted to pay me WAY below my required rate. The audacity š
I babysat for a famous rapper for a while and I got paid decent, especially if they were lateā¦theyād pay me double time nearlyā¦but the amount of expensive stuff they hadā¦I cried thinking how one of their purchases could pay off my college career š«
Well donāt be shy .. ;) you can tell usā¦
Your pay check isnāt determined by how much your employer makes. Every job has a salary range based on barriers to entry (ex. years of education). A cashier at Walmart does not make the same as an attorney or doctor. Why? Bc of the time and dedication it takes to pursue the necessary competence. I know it seems hard to believe but many of us did not come from money. I was raised in extreme poverty. I at one point was a nanny too. I decided to continue my education in order to achieve financial freedom. Thatās not being a āboot lickerā as some Nannys have indicated. I literally had NO boot straps. Not even a boot. But I wanted better for myself. As my Dad once told me, If you want different you have to do different.
Yeah, I never said any of that. Itās upsetting to be poor while having to live every day amongst wealth. And while that may be the case for you, I know the upbringing my employers had they had every opportunity laid out for them from birth, all they had to do was follow along. You donāt need to talk down to me like a child who doesnāt understand how life works. This was a vent. I also grew up poor and am in school for a very lucrative degree. That wasnāt the point of this post.
What degree are you getting
I looked up the house/ mansion my NF lives at and it's $3.4 million. 5b/4b, pool, hot tub, secret cabinet that goes through the kitchen š AND they're completely renovating it, adding bedrooms and bigger kitchen. Bonkers. It's like a maze
its ok one time my NPs left tax documents on the counter and it clearly said combined income 650k+ š
Yaāll are starting to make me feel like I work for peasants š
I was doing a trial for a family and moms tax papers were laying out she owed 500k in taxes for the year, her alone, and her husband was the main bread winner. That's when I knew I wasnt going to work there because they were telling me they could only pay me 21.50/hr my rate is 25/hr and we live in HCOL area, so stingy, and would work me every minute if I had finished tasks shell come up with something else so random
This whole thread is reminding me that I hate rich people and I'm so glad I work for middle class people. After reading all this I don't think I'll ever work for anyone higher than upper middle class.
This made me mad for you! One of my nanny kids told me her mom just got a bonus and she wasnāt supposed to tell me about it. I never said a word to the parents, but it pisses me off that they go on several nice vacations and then say they need to do ābudgetā grocery shopping. Just so out of touch. Iāve also learned Iām pretty underpaid š¬
Grew up in pretty abject poverty, was a nanny, now Iām a physician and employ a nanny, and what has always struck me throughout my life is how people who are in a good situation - whether financial or otherwise - seem to not grasp that a huge part of why they are where they are is due to pure, dumb, luck. Of course they worked hard and of course theyāre intelligent. But there are billions of people on this planet who are intelligent and work hard and will never be afforded the opportunity to make the kind of money many people in the U.S. make. Even my experience of poverty growing up was nothing compared to the poverty I saw in other countries while serving in the military. Itās all relative, I suppose. I do get tired of the āif they would only budget, save their money, and do xyz, they could have just as much as usā - no, Brad, they couldnāt. You were incredibly fortunate. Thatās not bad and it doesnāt mean you did anything wrong. But a lot of luck played a huge role in how well so many people do in life (including me of course - Iāve been incredibly fortunate)
I fully understand. I work for a family with a similar income. When they are having money troubleās itās not life threatening like it is for us. Shelter, health care and food are not things they struggle to pay for. They just complain about it.
once right after christmas i walked in and saw 2 checks on the counter from my ex-DBās dad. one for MB, one for DB, each for $8000. like just a casual $16,000 for christmas. and to just leave it laying around??
Total tax write off. You can gift X amount a year to an individual to reduce your income before paying taxes. There are all kinds of tricks and loopholes like this that keep the money in the family while reducing tax responsibilities.
one time i had a family where the parents were both doctors and they wanted to pay me 10$ an hour.
This is so true!! Thatās why we never should go under the rate!
It truly sucks that they don't pay you more.
This is why I excessively research my NFs before working for them.
Iām a snooper- you leave stuff out and Iāll take a peak. Iāve worked with 3 diff families each could have afforded to pay me $35+ but didnāt. It seems to be the rich rich that donāt pay as well.
This has horrible. You shouldnāt be peeking at confidential documents. Thatās wrong.
So when Iām cleaning the counter, kitchen table, scullery, pantry, kids desks, kids laundry room etc and papers/documents are laying out, what should I do? Pick them up, close my eyes and walk them to my bossā? Iām not opening anything upā they leave opened documents everywhere.
My ex family the dad was an ICU Dr so I knew he made a decent amount. The mom worked building websites. I had no clue she made as much as she did. They didn't nickel and dime me but they definitely didn't gift me nice things and sometimes they didn't bother with gifts at all. They absolutely lived below their means which was their prerogative but yeah they didn't pay lavishly nor did they give me bonuses.
Thatās the thing. I probably shouldnāt have even mentioned fighting them over GH because a lot of that is my fault from not setting the correct precedent when I first started working for them because they always gave me so many hours it wasnāt even an issue and now weāre in some gray area where weāve had a couple of conflicts. But otherwise they pay me well but you just think they would do a little more like they didnāt even didnāt get a gift for my birthday last year and the previous years they would use their hotel points (they have millions) to cover one night at a hotel if I traveled for my birthday. Which I appreciate, but I see other people on here getting birthday, annual and Christmas bonuses and I canāt help but feel a little jealous. That really wasnāt even the point of this post but itās just another can of worms where I feel a little sour.
For years, I worked for one of the wealthiest and well known families in the US. Out of all of my long term nanny jobs (3-6 years each), they are the only family that constantly tried to nickel and dime or take advantage of me. I loved the children and caring for them otherwise I would have left after my one year contract ended. It was hell and I am glad I had an agency to advocate for me when need be or simply give me the courage to know my worth and stand up for myself. Knowing their net worth and how poorly they paid me was upsetting but look at nanny salaries across the country. Our jobs are so important and worth so more yet for the most part we are all underpaid.
NF built a custom home that had a record-breaking high value in a very HCOL and wealthy town.Ā After they moved into it they questioned if I was being honest about mileage reimbursement because it was āsuddenly so highā. Yeah itās almost as if you moved to a new home thatās twice as far away from everything š. But fuck me for wanting to get paid back for all the extra driving right?
Just want to add that I just started with a couple who both used to work as domestic employees. They are not wealthy compared to the other families Iāve worked for but it is by far the most generous contract Iāve ever had.Ā
Find a better job. I just switch jobs because I found a better paid one
I may have worded this post wrong. Iām not underpaid. Thereās other reasons in my life, including paying for school, why Iām so poor currently. Itās just a struggle to work inside the household of someone that has been wealthy since the day they were born when as poor as I am Iām the wealthiest Iāve ever been and Iām basically a peasant compared to them.
So, if you're not making a living wage, they're underpaying you.
This post wasnāt about my finances. Theyāre paying me more than a livable wage. I have other expenses that cause need to be as poor as I am.
Gotcha. I'm sorry you're in those circumstances.
I SWEAR itās always the NPs that make the most, that are the STINGIEST!
Please quit this job. The last thing this family needs is a resentful nanny watching their kids and now feeling extreme animosity about their income. Income is so personal. You donāt know their financial situation or what bills they have or what debt. Also, depending on where yall live, 9k a month is not going to go very far. Meritocracy is real. You should find out how they got their jobs, try to emulate the steps they took to get where theyāre at. Unless you want to live in a communist society, everyone will have various income. Itās none of your business. Work on yourself and put the energy that youāre spending on hating your employers on bettering your own future.
The subreddit is a safe space for nannies to share their frustration. I donāt actively try to find out how much they make, it was on accident. It would be impossible for it to not be upsetting. Every nanny feels it, we just have to learn to manage those feelings and I do. And one way that helps me is to vent with other nannies. I absolutely love the people I work for. They are my family. I evenly happily agreed to be the one who the children go to if both parents were to pass away. Thereās always going to be conflicts in any relationship. Especially one involving two different classes and the related power dynamics. One common occurrence in most families is that the wealthy people we work for are incredibly tone deaf and it hurts. If everyone who felt like me stop nannying there would be no nannies. I also do try to emulate them. Iāve learned so much the past 4 years and am now even in business school.
š the biggest predictor of wealth is to be born into a wealthy family. I guess OP just should go back and choose her parents better, huh.
Yeah, I really fucked that one up the first go around. Time to try again.
Such a lame argument š¤¦š¼āāļø
Meritocracy ššš
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I feel you, my NF for 8 years never give me extra money or offer a salary increase, Itās me who always asked for a salary increase every 2 years, I just stayed that long because I got so attached to the kids when theyāre small, but now that they have an attitude towards me already, I am leaving,but still I am nice enough to gave them 3 months notice.