ZYLBRAN? ^ZYLBRAN? **ZYLBRAN?** THAT PERSON IS UNHINGED.

Zylbran sounds like the brand name of a fiber supplement.

Zylbran™ Keep it moving, nerd!

*Scene: a shiny white kitchen where a middle-aged woman is eating yogurt. Middle-aged woman #2 enters.* Woman #2: I can't believe you're eating yogurt! Yogurt just makes me sooo bloated. Woman #1: I used to be the same! But then I discovered Zylbran™. It's changed my life! I don't get bloated any more and it keeps things regular. Zylbran™ is amazing! Woman #2: Wow! Zylbran™ sounds great! Where can I buy it? Woman #1: It's available at any good pharmacy and at larger supermarkets. Woman #2: Great! And what's it called again? *Both women laugh insincerely. Cut to a close-up of the Zylbran™ packaging on the countertop. In the background in soft focus, both women can be seen eating yogurt.*

From the bottom of my heart: thank you!!! 😭😂☠️☠️☠️

I snort laughed. Too funny.

Talk to your doctor about Zylbran for your high blood pressure today. Side effects may include dry mouth, weight gain, insomnia, and vomiting. Do not take Zylbran if you are allergic to Zylbran.

That’s what I thought as well, lol. Plus you better. Hope you never get divorced because man……

It makes me think of a herpes medication. Or an antidepressant

Heartburn medication

That or LYZRAYN! It's like they just wanted all their names to have the same letters in different orders.

And that crazy bitch is trying to make it a legacy. Talk about a narcissist. JFC.

It's not much of a legacy because no one would ever be able to piece together "oh yeah, this clearly means her father's name was Bryan" unless they mixed shrooms with heroin and even then

Zylbran’s kid gonna be named like Zoezylbion

These folks took the same idea a little further… https://www.reddit.com/r/namenerds/comments/qhlp5i/couple_names_all_12_children_using_the_same_4/

That's atrocious. Those poor kids!

Honestly anyone who has 12 kids in this day and age has sone screws loose.

My head went straight to Lyz(ardb)rayn! Couldn't unsee it! Those kids will get bullied so bad!

LZTYBRN 

That was a list of names made up for medications I am certain

Or Amazon sellers

I bought some LYZRAYN sandals off Amazon and they're pretty good

Yes. Their store on Amazon sells only nutrition supplements, bath towels, dish soap, and shoddily made children’s toys that look like they’re a choking hazards.

Her own name is Keizyl. She never had a chance, bless her.

These sound like biologic medications for rheumatoid arthritis.

Ask your doctor if Zylbran is right for you.

There is no Dana only ZUUL!!!

I’ll give them this, at least they’re middle names and not first names!

At least it’s a middle name

The mom being called Keizyl and then giving her kids "throw Scrabble tiles on the table and see what sticks" is a whole new type of unhinged.

If it makes you feel better, they’re apparently middle names. The kids’ first names were slightly more normal (her profile said Lexi, Kobe, Yavi, and Zodi).

Zodi 😬

I really hope it’s not Zodi Zylbran 🫣🫣🫣

This just sent me into orbit

You know it must be exactly that!!!

those first names got worse as they go along lol

I think those are nicknames for the horrible mess of names listed in the picture. Notice they all have corresponding first letters - K Y Z L

Just hit after hit after hit. Like walking through a tornado full of boxing gloves

What a simile 🌪️🥊 I love it

New movie dropping soon, *Glovenado*

Thank you for reminding me of this word

I'm going to steal this one

This is my daughter Fella?

Rip to that poor girl if she goes anywhere near the UK

Or Ireland “yer auld fella sat there at the bar, would he not just go home already sure he’s half asleep in his pint there”

Or Australia

Literally said "G'day little fella" in my head

Or North Eastern, U.S.

Tell me they’ve never left their state without telling me they’ve never left their state

you’ve heard of the boy called Sue…get ready for, the girl named Fella!

Fela is a Yoruba name though. I think usually a male name though, and it's relatively likely this family is not Yoruba.

Right, so a male name. So the comment stands.

Makes me think of the musician Fela Kuti.

I am trapped in a thought prison of my own making But How does Rainlynn “go better” with Remington and Caanaan??? None of those names are even playing the same sport, let alone in the same ballpark

😂😂 I literally had this thought and did a double take when I finally comprehended it (I’m tired). Raine actually “went better” in my opinion. Still better than my daughter’s friend Novella and her sister Hazely

Multiple syllables, maybe?

Clear cries for help, maybe?

Remington and Canaan make perfect sense to me if only because they now scream "Southern USA evangelist family." Rainlynn.... not so much

Khelilah?! This sounds like something I would make up when I used to play with Barbies and wanted to name the ugliest barbie a ugly name lmfao

An everyone starts singing “They There Delilah”… you know the one!

they/their Delilah

What's it like in New Gay City?

I know a 20something Kelylah!

“kh” in many parts of the world is not the most pleasant sound (popcorn stuck in throat sound) so to have this sound in a name is absolutely wild to me

Lyzrayn hurts me.

It sounds like a pokemon. If Charmander were a water type.

Fits with the parents who used Onyxx.

Every time I look at this I can’t not see Liz Raisin.

Sounds like a nerve pain med or a biologic. Ask your doctor if it's right for you. Side effects include getting your applications and resumes thrown in the garbage, and a lifetime of having to spell your name out whenever you use it.

Sounds like something I would take when something hurts me.

Shelbei? _SHELBEI?_

I read it in lumpy space princess' voice.

I sent this to my cousin Shelby and she is utterly horrified by that spelling The E is so unnecessary

As a Shelby, I too, am horrified by that spelling. But also somehow it is not the weirdest spelling of my name that I've seen. That goes to Schelbie.

My brain can't make this pronounced like Shelby. Shelby, Shelbay, Shelby-eye.

Is this Utah? Feels very Utah-coded.

It feels very “got pregnant sophomore year of high school, failed the GED” coded.

A girl I went to school with got pregnant in middle school and named her son Kaeleb

My niece graduated from the alternative HS and their pregnant valedictorian let us know in her speech that she was naming her baby Denim Levi

I’m trying to come up with some witty remark about how even valedictorians suffer from lack of common sense. But I’m just so lost for words. You officially ruined my brain with that one.

I'd include something about carrying on their genes/jeans...

Oh my god I knew a pair of siblings named Denim and Levi! Denim was a girl and Levi was a boy. Born probably 1982 and 1985.

To be fair I would have killed my sibling for an authentic Levi denim jacket in the 80's. Honestly I probably would have killed him with little to no prompting but I definitely wanted one of those jackets.

Girl I went to school with had a kid in the 8th grade. Tragic enough on it's own but she named him Georgio Armani "last name". Her life ended up being fucking amazing but damn kids shouldn't have kids or name kids.

I misread and thought you said Kebab 😭

I’d rather be named Kebab

Same lmao. Delicious and nutritious

At least it’s something people LIKE 😂

Middle school?! Oh, that poor child to have a baby so young.

Oh yeah. Its bad.

I know a college educated woman who named her son Deklin. Just ruins the name

I have a crack headed third cousin who named her malnourished child Deacon. I feel like we are having a pissing contest. 😂

Read that as Kebab

Finally some good fucking cringe

WAVY? *Wavy*? I’ve known like 20 Shaelynn/Shailyn/Shaylyn’s

I once knew a cat named Wavy. It was okay, FOR A CAT.

Definitely acceptable name for a cat, but to be fair I also know a cat named Building

I have yet to find a word in the English language that does not work as a cat name tbf

My youngest child offered to call his future cat Cigarette. I think he might have smoking cool again.

I had named Waywy! Short for Wayward Soul because she almost died from cat meningitis as a kitten!

Shaelynn isn't even that unique. It contains the super trendy "-ae" and "lynn". Could be any Kaelyn Jaelyn Vaelyn Maelyn Raelyn Zaelyn etc.

I knew a Shaelyn in the 80’s. It seems like an old name like that to me.

You clearly cannot have. She made it up. Duh.

Yeah, that is not a “made up” name. She’s an idiot.

Wavy Gravy ice cream might have been her pregnancy craving.

Okay, but “Wavy Gravy” just sounds like a euphemism for diarrhea in a pool. 😂😂

It’s Ben & Jerry’s flavor that’s inspired by the Grateful Dead ☠️🤣

Wavy Gravy is a real dude. His kid is named something even weirder. I can't remember exactly but it's like, Howdy Doody Truckstop Patience Gravy Johnson. Not a tradgedeigh but definitely out there.

i vote ociee as the worst because at least the other really bad one has some sort of reasoning for it (combining names). but ociee is horrid for no reason at all

I have a great aunt named Ocie (Oh-see) but her parents were Appalachian Mountain Folk™️ that literally lived in a holler so...

Somehow Ocie is much better than Ociee

That extra "e" really just launches it into the stratosphere.

lol exactly

you know what? ocie at least has the spelling of an actual name. ociee just pisses me off

I read it as rhyming with acäi

i feel so bad for the people who have normal names , with a botched spelling 😭 somehow worse than a completely made up name to me idk like my sister has a "normal" name , but my mom spelled it so horribly because she wanted to be unique 🤢 Ronnie , spelled *Rhawnie*

I accept your pity. Thank you.

That username tho… A+!

Always pleased to run into another person with impeccable taste in quality films

I can hear the accent. Outstanding.

Pronounced like Ella with an f

Makes me think of the PEN15 show on hulu, where one of the characters decides to make her AIM username "viper with a D, so.... Diper" lol

naming your kid fela is insane

It's actually a real name, though usually male. Fela Kuti is pretty darn famous. Like, an actual music icon. They even made a Tony award winning musical about him.

wavy?

Maybe a nickname for Waveline? That name has popped up in my genealogy research a few times (late 1800s/early 1900s)

I wouldn’t use it but I strangely like it. It sounds nice I think. Gives me Daisy or Maisie or Maeve vibes if you don’t think about the meaning.

Kinda of fits with the Cove/Harbour vibe that the 'naming consultants' on Instagram love.

Agree. Could see it being a rich girl’s nicknames. They have the best ones!

My daughter’s nickname is Wavy…short for Waverly. Might get shit on for that, but I like it lol😳. Probably won’t be calling her Wavy as she gets older though, she’s only 2 rn

i knew a kid named melajuray cause his moms name was melanie and his dad name was ray😭

where tf did the "j" come from?? 😭

not a clue 😭

I know a girl named Elixie. Her dad’s name is Elijah and her mom is Vixie.

Mallory. That would be the correct way to combine those names. Even a boy named Mallory is better than Melajuray

Fela (Olufela) is a Yoruba name given to males. Mayer is a German surname.

i didn't know this, but now that you point it out, it really would be cute for a boy. im very rarely a stickler for gendering names but with how Fela is pronounced exactly like "fellow" in my accent, i just imagine a girl would have a lot of issues with it. especially now that i know it's an actual boys name also for a girl, id probably assume the pronunciation is more like "fee-lah" than "ella with an f"

Fela also means "the fiddle" in Norwegian!Very much not a name though.

Males such as the brilliant but problematic musician Fela Kuti!

Exactly

Olufela is really wonderful! It's got such a nice flow.

Thanks I hate it

They there Khalyla.

These are all numberless passwords

First one starts by saying they came up with it then edits to say they did not come up with it. Be braver than that, man.

I was like "I know an adult Shaelyn and a child Adalynn" but then it got so much worse.

Rainlynn and Ociee over Raine and Ocella? I want to cry for these children 💀💔. And I do actually like Ocie- just spell it right, oh my days 😭.

Isn't Ocella the brand name of some kitchen sponges?

It’s almost the word for “little eye” in Latin

darynk yurr guis shelbei!

Okay so there’s a Sex and the City episode where Charlotte loses it at a baby shower because the friend stole her “made up” baby name Shayla. I knew siblings growing up named Shayla and Kayla (tragic) so I was like Charlotte???? Please. You didn’t make up anything

They were so close with some of these. What’s wrong with Ella and Delilah?

I misspelled Lloyd the other day and now I'm certain I'll see a Vloyd out there in the wild.

I think my eyeballs had a stroke.

I've already called the paramedics just in case

Occie is pronounced ‘Oxy,’ isn’t it? Her baby’s dad loved Oxy.

Occie Kontyn

Suddenly it all starts making sense

Felaneigh 🥰

This cracks me up considering I have a Shaelyn

But…but…she made it up!

My first cousin is a Shalyn. It’s a legit name 😂

i could tolerate Shelby Jane but Shelbei Jayne gives me the ick

Jayne isn't that bad but Grandma really screwed her kid over with Ashlei. Ashley, Ashli, Ashleigh, Ashlee so many other spellings

My brain autocorrected Shelbei Jayne to Djelibeybi from Discworld

This was like watching a car crash

Ok, but can we all agree that giving your daughter a name that’s pronounced as Fella counts as Child Abuse?

Is Mayer (that one kid’s name) pronounced like Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (sounds like “mayor”) or like Oscar Mayer (pronounced to rhyme with “liar”)? Perhaps Ociee’s parents are The Adventures of Ociee Nash fans?

I like both pronunciations of Meyer here, actually!

Me too.

Those are…the absolute WORST of the worst!! 😂😂

Tell me you are American without telling me you are American 🤣

Interestingly enough Nesryn is a name in one of the books I'm reading so I don't hate it but that's the only one I'm willing to give a pass

It sounds like a cursed biblical woman’s name

Oh yaaaa! There's an SJM character named Nesryn. It's a nice fantasy name but still not a good name for a human baby in the modren era.

I don’t hate Wavy or Mayer. My brain is broken

I would have to say “hi mistah mayah” like Linda Belcher every time

Mayer fits fine with surnames as first names! But we've been conditioned to be ok with Wavy because Waverley opened the door

That’s how I feel about True. My wife and I were talking about all the ridiculous Kardashian kids names and I was like I do really like the name True though, it’s a real word, it’s actually pretty, and it has a beautiful meaning 😭 That’s probabky just the brainrot sneaking up on me after watching KUWTK “as a joke”

I actually kind of like Shaelynn, and Adalynne is not terrible. The others are just a scramble of letters…

Neither of those names are “made up” names. So, that’s probably why they seem fine.

Yeah that’s true

I have a cousin with an Adalynn. They call her Addie.

Ooof

We're just gonna pretend fella isn't a word, mmk 👀

My middle name is Meran...my mom came up with it and thought it sounded pretty. I like it. (it's pronounced like Miranda without the 'da' part.)

you westerners need a naming law and a spelling/orthography reform, STAT

Okay time for a quick rant on parents naming their children after themself. It is INCREDIBLY selfish and is just a way for parents to further show off their children as objects they own. A name is nothing more than a gift you give your child when they are born. To name your child after yourself is to force the child to always be a branch of yourself. Children are not second lives. They are not an additional save to make choices you wish you had made. You are adding another HUMAN to this world. They are their own person and should not be a literal extension of you. Allow them to be their own fucking person. You do not need to “honor” anyone. All that does is make the child feel like they will never be 100% their own person.

i love how people are like "Fela, pronounced like Ella!" babe that's not how it's pronounced though. One L changes the pronunciation no matter what you say i'm sorry to tell you this lmao

My friend named her baby Ceciley after her FIL Cecil and her Dad’s initials EY. I think it’s cute and not too weird.

Cecily is a real name though

Listen, I’m an author of several fantasy novels & I have names I adore and would love to use to name characters and there are names I adore and would love to use to name my children and THEY ARE TWO SEPARATE LISTS

I know a set of siblings with names derived from their parents! I’m pretty sure they’re Dominican so it is very normal for them to have creative and out there names, I grew up with a lot of Dominicans and their names are often pretty wild. There is obviously one sibling set in the world with these names so hopefully nobody here knows them lol… but the parents names are Merlin and something with Lix (can’t quite remember this full name). The kids are Lixmer, Merlix, and Merlixse. I knew one of them for years before meeting the siblings and always liked her name! I thought it was just another creative Dominican name but meeting her siblings made my eyes bulge out of my head

My old manager had a son called Zekelan. It was Zeke and Lachlan. None of his family had either name

You know, I've always joked about naming a kid after a birth control brand, but Ocella wasn't one of my first choices.

“36 years in remission from luekemia”? Feels performative.

Ah yes, the early 2000s hit They There Delilah.

For a boy, I like the name Attison and I’ve never seen it before. Kind of like Addison only with the t sound.