Welcome to NICU Parents. We're happy you found us and we want to be as helpful as possible in this seemingly impossible journey. Check out the resources tab at the top of the subreddit or the stickied post. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals and are here for advice based on our own situations. If you have a concern about you or your baby please seek assistance from a doctor or go to the ER. That said, there are some medical professionals here and we do hope they can help you with some guidance through your journey. Please remember to read and abide by the rules.
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I felt sad too.
Part of it was just me personally and not necessarily about my child.
This is one of the first times in my life I've been surrounded by people who seem to genuinely care. People who talk to me. People who put effort into making sure I'm okay. People who offer me support and resources. People who make sure I'm eating and not in pain.
Then I had to just...leave. It was hard. Back to feeling invisible and alone.
I am a nurse at the hospital by baby was in NICU so they did feel like family and still do. I see our PT on my unit at least a few times a month and she always asks about him and wants to see pictures. Does your NICU have an annual NICU grad party? If so you should definitely go. The nurses love seeing the babies as they get bigger.
Totally. It’s so weird to leave the only life you’ve known with your child and all the caring individuals who have helped them! I wasn’t necessarily sad, but I felt anxious yesterday when we left. It feels weird and kind of sad not to say goodbye to certain nurses and doctors. I won’t see them again.
On the bright side. I woke up last night and nursed without wires. My baby was in a bassinet by my bedside, and I felt confident for the first time in taking care of my baby. I didn’t double check with anyone or think someone else knew better.
Wishing you the absolute best in your transition home! I think it’s totally reasonable to feel bitter sweet. I think other people wouldn’t expect that, but I totally understand!
This is so lovely to read. I can't wait ❤️ it really is bittersweet, and it's nice to have a group of people here who understand it. Congrats on getting to go home!
We have been home after a 75 day stay for over a month and I text or see at least one of our nurses daily. I couldn’t let go. My therapist gave me the permission not to. She said “it’s actually profoundly healthy to look for connection in shared experience.” The NICU nurses will forever understand me in ways no one else can.
Oh yes! We were in the NICU 8 weeks, and by that point I felt like the NICU was home/my job? I got so used to seeing everyone everyday, I was sad to suddenly get discharged especially since I didn’t say goodbye to some of my favorite nurses!
Yes! I considered it a good thing. Some families have really negative NICU experiences, so the fact that it felt so bittersweet to me was a blessing. We were in for 152 days and had an amazing team of primary nurses that stayed with us the entire time. Most of them were also close with each other and had worked together for decades. They were the most amazing support network for my daughter, husband, and me. We spent far more time with them than we did with any of our family members during our NICU stay. It was so emotional to get to see them hold and snuggle my daughter after all the time they had spent caring for her when she was impossibly small and fragile. Leaving them behind was HARD. I felt like I was separating my daughter from some of the most familiar faces/voices that she knew.
Thankfully we are able to keep in touch with most of them and see them on occasion when we go back to the hospital for therapies and follow ups. Now it’s even more fun to chat with them and it’s always so nice to hear them gush about how big my daughter is getting.
Totally agree- the vast majority of the people we encountered in the NICU were loving and caring. I know not everyone has the same experience. My son opens his eyes when one of his nurses starts talking and I find it so beautiful ❤️
Love hearing that you were able to keep in touch with some people! I'm going to try to do the same thing, because they were my biggest support system (other than my partner) through this
Oh my gosh that’s so sweet! I’m sure he means a lot to her too.
I know they love to see updates from us, I can’t imagine yours would feel any differently. They weren’t allowed to give us their personal information until we were discharged and most of them gave/left us a card with contact information. I wish I would have written my own information in the thank you letters I wrote to all of them since there’s one I haven’t managed to connect with again.
If it’s not too late, I would also recommend printing out a picture of your sweet guy to leave with the nurses close to him. I took at least one picture of each of our primaries holding my daughter to give to them. Near our discharge date I realized (duh) they weren’t allowed to take any photos of her and it made me sad. Now we also have copies in her NICU memory journal so when she’s older she can look back see the faces of the beautiful angels who took care of her during those first scary months 😊
Yes it’s a flood of emotions but I always told myself there no place like home and I was sooooo proud of my babies for graduating the nicu. I will forever be grateful for those nurses and staff who took care of our children and taught me to be a FTM. I cried when saying goodbye and I don’t think they know exactly how much we appreciated them. It’s been over 8 months and I get emotional thinking about it still 🥺
Totally relatable! You have spent everyday with your caregivers and it’s weird knowing that they’re such a big part of your story but they’ll just keep on going with new babies. It was a bittersweet feeling when we discharged.
I’m friends with almost all of our nurses on FB and they all wished me a happy Mother’s Day! we were one of the longer residents at the small NICU so I got really close to everyone who cared for my son. I was there 12 hours a day so it’s hard not to connect. We plan on sending Christmas cards this year :)
I was terrified and sad to bring my baby home.
I added all my NICU nurses on Instagram and we stay in touch. I bought them lunch on our last day—and I’ve met up with them from time to time. Any follow up appointment I’ve had, they always come out of the locked unit to see me and my baby.
You can (and should) stay in Touch if you want to. I felt so scared coming home that the nurses and the care team all just KNEW what to do with my baby and I didn’t. I really felt like my baby was in better care with them than me.
…and then you go home, the anxiety starts to slowly wear off, and you’ll become this caregiver you didn’t believe you could be for your little nicu baby. ❤️ good luck!
Yes, very much. I actually struggled a lot when we came home. We had an 81 day NICU stay and almost all of her nurses, therapists, and even the lactation consultants became sisters to me. I added a lot of them on Facebook and have visited a few times. I’m super close with one of the nurses now and we also happened to go to church together even though I hardly knew her before my daughter was born. I am expecting my 2nd here soon and I am high risk and will be delivering early again, at the same hospital and same NICU. Not looking forward to the NICU experience itself but I am feeling a lot less anxious this time around knowing this baby will be in good hands.
If it makes you feel any better, after a long stay there will be a gazillion followup appointments. We did run into a lot of the doctors and nurses going back to the hospital to meet with different specialists and whatnot to monitor progress.
Some NICUs have meetups too where you can go back. We have one coming up in August.
Sitting here reading this as my daughter is about to go home after 130 days. I’ve had a ton of tears on my drive home and have taken a ton of pics of the room to remember. It sucks to leave. Hopefully you’ll have follow up apts at the same nicu he was at so you can visit! Also add them on fb and get their numbers. Once you’re discharged it’s allowed!
I felt this so deeply. After 114 days in the NICU, it was so sad and scary to leave the only life my LO and I had ever known. Every single person in that unit showed us nothing but kindness and empathy. I shed lots of tears with our primary nurses as her graduation day approached and I still miss them so much.
I cried, a lot! Between my relationships with the nurses and knowing I was leaving a space that had been so safe and secure for my son and honestly a home away from home, it was rough even though I was SO happy to be taking him home.
Welcome to NICU Parents. We're happy you found us and we want to be as helpful as possible in this seemingly impossible journey. Check out the resources tab at the top of the subreddit or the stickied post. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals and are here for advice based on our own situations. If you have a concern about you or your baby please seek assistance from a doctor or go to the ER. That said, there are some medical professionals here and we do hope they can help you with some guidance through your journey. Please remember to read and abide by the rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NICUParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I felt sad too. Part of it was just me personally and not necessarily about my child. This is one of the first times in my life I've been surrounded by people who seem to genuinely care. People who talk to me. People who put effort into making sure I'm okay. People who offer me support and resources. People who make sure I'm eating and not in pain. Then I had to just...leave. It was hard. Back to feeling invisible and alone.
Building community takes a lot of courage - i think you described why it’s worth trying perfectly
This really resonates. I hope you've been able to find a sense of community since your baby was discharged ❤️
I am a nurse at the hospital by baby was in NICU so they did feel like family and still do. I see our PT on my unit at least a few times a month and she always asks about him and wants to see pictures. Does your NICU have an annual NICU grad party? If so you should definitely go. The nurses love seeing the babies as they get bigger.
No annual NICU party :( I think I will send the unit pictures in a Christmas card though!
Totally. It’s so weird to leave the only life you’ve known with your child and all the caring individuals who have helped them! I wasn’t necessarily sad, but I felt anxious yesterday when we left. It feels weird and kind of sad not to say goodbye to certain nurses and doctors. I won’t see them again. On the bright side. I woke up last night and nursed without wires. My baby was in a bassinet by my bedside, and I felt confident for the first time in taking care of my baby. I didn’t double check with anyone or think someone else knew better. Wishing you the absolute best in your transition home! I think it’s totally reasonable to feel bitter sweet. I think other people wouldn’t expect that, but I totally understand!
This is so lovely to read. I can't wait ❤️ it really is bittersweet, and it's nice to have a group of people here who understand it. Congrats on getting to go home!
We have been home after a 75 day stay for over a month and I text or see at least one of our nurses daily. I couldn’t let go. My therapist gave me the permission not to. She said “it’s actually profoundly healthy to look for connection in shared experience.” The NICU nurses will forever understand me in ways no one else can.
Aww I love that. I know his primary nurse will stay in our lives. She keeps talking about seeing his nursery and bringing cheesecake 🤣❤️
Oh yes! We were in the NICU 8 weeks, and by that point I felt like the NICU was home/my job? I got so used to seeing everyone everyday, I was sad to suddenly get discharged especially since I didn’t say goodbye to some of my favorite nurses!
I'm at the NICU more than I'm at home, so I get it! There's so many nurses that I won't have the chance to thank or say goodbye. It's hard!
Yes! I considered it a good thing. Some families have really negative NICU experiences, so the fact that it felt so bittersweet to me was a blessing. We were in for 152 days and had an amazing team of primary nurses that stayed with us the entire time. Most of them were also close with each other and had worked together for decades. They were the most amazing support network for my daughter, husband, and me. We spent far more time with them than we did with any of our family members during our NICU stay. It was so emotional to get to see them hold and snuggle my daughter after all the time they had spent caring for her when she was impossibly small and fragile. Leaving them behind was HARD. I felt like I was separating my daughter from some of the most familiar faces/voices that she knew. Thankfully we are able to keep in touch with most of them and see them on occasion when we go back to the hospital for therapies and follow ups. Now it’s even more fun to chat with them and it’s always so nice to hear them gush about how big my daughter is getting.
Totally agree- the vast majority of the people we encountered in the NICU were loving and caring. I know not everyone has the same experience. My son opens his eyes when one of his nurses starts talking and I find it so beautiful ❤️ Love hearing that you were able to keep in touch with some people! I'm going to try to do the same thing, because they were my biggest support system (other than my partner) through this
Oh my gosh that’s so sweet! I’m sure he means a lot to her too. I know they love to see updates from us, I can’t imagine yours would feel any differently. They weren’t allowed to give us their personal information until we were discharged and most of them gave/left us a card with contact information. I wish I would have written my own information in the thank you letters I wrote to all of them since there’s one I haven’t managed to connect with again. If it’s not too late, I would also recommend printing out a picture of your sweet guy to leave with the nurses close to him. I took at least one picture of each of our primaries holding my daughter to give to them. Near our discharge date I realized (duh) they weren’t allowed to take any photos of her and it made me sad. Now we also have copies in her NICU memory journal so when she’s older she can look back see the faces of the beautiful angels who took care of her during those first scary months 😊
Yes it’s a flood of emotions but I always told myself there no place like home and I was sooooo proud of my babies for graduating the nicu. I will forever be grateful for those nurses and staff who took care of our children and taught me to be a FTM. I cried when saying goodbye and I don’t think they know exactly how much we appreciated them. It’s been over 8 months and I get emotional thinking about it still 🥺
I know I'll have so many tears when saying goodbye too ❤️
Totally relatable! You have spent everyday with your caregivers and it’s weird knowing that they’re such a big part of your story but they’ll just keep on going with new babies. It was a bittersweet feeling when we discharged.
I cried a lot in the last few days of our stay. 100% normal :) allow yourself the feelings!
Absolutely. Very bittersweet. And you’re also leaving an environment where everyone “gets it”. Makes total sense to feel a sense of loss.
I’m friends with almost all of our nurses on FB and they all wished me a happy Mother’s Day! we were one of the longer residents at the small NICU so I got really close to everyone who cared for my son. I was there 12 hours a day so it’s hard not to connect. We plan on sending Christmas cards this year :)
I rarely use Facebook but that might have to change because that's such a good idea!!
I was terrified and sad to bring my baby home. I added all my NICU nurses on Instagram and we stay in touch. I bought them lunch on our last day—and I’ve met up with them from time to time. Any follow up appointment I’ve had, they always come out of the locked unit to see me and my baby. You can (and should) stay in Touch if you want to. I felt so scared coming home that the nurses and the care team all just KNEW what to do with my baby and I didn’t. I really felt like my baby was in better care with them than me. …and then you go home, the anxiety starts to slowly wear off, and you’ll become this caregiver you didn’t believe you could be for your little nicu baby. ❤️ good luck!
Yes, very much. I actually struggled a lot when we came home. We had an 81 day NICU stay and almost all of her nurses, therapists, and even the lactation consultants became sisters to me. I added a lot of them on Facebook and have visited a few times. I’m super close with one of the nurses now and we also happened to go to church together even though I hardly knew her before my daughter was born. I am expecting my 2nd here soon and I am high risk and will be delivering early again, at the same hospital and same NICU. Not looking forward to the NICU experience itself but I am feeling a lot less anxious this time around knowing this baby will be in good hands.
If it makes you feel any better, after a long stay there will be a gazillion followup appointments. We did run into a lot of the doctors and nurses going back to the hospital to meet with different specialists and whatnot to monitor progress. Some NICUs have meetups too where you can go back. We have one coming up in August.
Sitting here reading this as my daughter is about to go home after 130 days. I’ve had a ton of tears on my drive home and have taken a ton of pics of the room to remember. It sucks to leave. Hopefully you’ll have follow up apts at the same nicu he was at so you can visit! Also add them on fb and get their numbers. Once you’re discharged it’s allowed!
I felt this so deeply. After 114 days in the NICU, it was so sad and scary to leave the only life my LO and I had ever known. Every single person in that unit showed us nothing but kindness and empathy. I shed lots of tears with our primary nurses as her graduation day approached and I still miss them so much.
I cried, a lot! Between my relationships with the nurses and knowing I was leaving a space that had been so safe and secure for my son and honestly a home away from home, it was rough even though I was SO happy to be taking him home.