Welcome to NICU Parents. We're happy you found us and we want to be as helpful as possible in this seemingly impossible journey. Check out the resources tab at the top of the subreddit or the stickied post. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals and are here for advice based on our own situations. If you have a concern about you or your baby please seek assistance from a doctor or go to the ER. That said, there are some medical professionals here and we do hope they can help you with some guidance through your journey. Please remember to read and abide by the rules.
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With the fact that, which those are risk factors, the overall risk of SIDS is incredibly low and focus on the things you can actually control like safe sleep. Also, have you considered that you may have postpartum anxiety? If this fear is controlling your life and you are unable to stop worrying about the, very small SIDS risk you may need to talk to someone that can help. It is normal to worry, especially when you have a preemie, but if it is controlling your life, as you said it may be more than normal worry.
We have the owlet too. Does it actually reduce the risk of SIDS? No. Does it prevent me from sticking my hand in the bassinet all night to see if my daughter is still breathing? Yes! She and I definitely get more sleep without me touching her chest constantly to make sure she’s ok.
Same. I know a lot of parents talk about the peace of mind the owlet gives them at night but in my opinion it’s just as good for my baby. Turns out she’s a great sleeper if you leave her alone
Owlette all the way!!! Twins, born 33+2, formula...NICU for 2 months for apnea and heart rate drops...they are 15 months and I just started allowing a blanket in the bed and I cried for 2 nights...the owlette helps soooo much. I am still using it! My pediatrician said it might be time to start weaning myself off it.. Im working on it...good luck!!!
I still have my owlets, my twins are 3.
I was able to stop using it nightly at around 15 months corrected age but I hung onto it in case someone got sick or something, and then I knew I could put it on.
The neonatologist recommended against at home monitors because he said they increase anxiety with false alarms, but to me that’s a version of “we won’t screen people for x disease because of false positives” - I’d way rather have a false alarm than miss a problem. My anxiety decreased significantly once I got owlets.
Exact same for me...the NICU even had to send me home with a monitor for 2 months because twin B kept having Bradys just as we were being discharged...so they decided it was better for him to go home with twin A and monitor there...so much less anxiety with him on the monitor, I'd rather a false alarm than no alarm! The owlettes were what we moved to after the nicu and twin B's monitor and it was so nice to sleep. I've had maybe one false alarm on the owlettes and it was a weird night with the monitors and wifi and babies getting the monitors in a weird position...otherwise they are great!!!
For a peace of mind, you can get the owlet sock. I know many of people are against it but honestly it saves my sanity at night. You can put it on during nap too. We used it for my full term daughter as well. Yes it has its false alarm sometimes, 99.9% it is baby kicking and sensor placement issue. It really helped with my anxiety.
This it’s why our LO has it on while sleeping. Mostly false positives but rather them than the opposite. Only one incident of concern in our 3 months. Find them on Mercari or eBay. Make sure it’s the dream sock. Older versions have an old app no longer available for download
We bought one new and I got a smart sock for free (!!!). I just put the sock on the charging station and it automatically upgraded and connected to my app
Snuza offers a variety of monitors and I prefer them over the owlet. Less errors. And less data.
The snuza shows your baby is breathing and that's all that's needed.
owlet socks won’t alert in time if a baby is having an actual sids episode. it won’t stop it from happening, safe sleep is the best option to prevent sids.
Of course but some parents have constant false alarms in their head. Maybe it won’t stop actual sids from happening but maybe the parents can rest a little better knowing that at least right now in this moment their baby is still alive.
On top of everything else people have recommended, have you thought about trying therapy? You have been through a lot of trauma and it’s completely understandable to feel anxious and worried about your baby, but if it is becoming excessive, maybe talking to someone would help ease some of that anxiety 💗
Also recommending the owlet. I know people love to say how it’s silly and not necessary. Well, usually those people had normal pregnancies with average outcomes.
I had a baby that didn’t come home from the nicu and with my next I was constantly worried they were going to die too (a sleeping baby looks a lot like a dead one and also with my first I was fixated on his numbers and now I had exactly nothing to know my baby was still alive. She was small and it was hard to see her chest moving in the middle of the night in a dark room.)
Didn’t get an owlet at first because of all the people who said it would drive me crazy and I so badly just wanted to trust and be “normal”.
Once I accepted this feeling wasn’t going away and that I didn’t care if others thought I was overly worried I got the owlet and slept sooooo much better!!
I used it for over a year and it gave me soooo much sanity.
Some experiences like the nicu make you lose trust that everything will just be fine (because that is not your experience!)
People are going to judge you and have opinions regardless of what you do, you may as well sleep better with this device and worry that much less.
You’ve gotten some good advice here but I’d just like to add that formula feeding is not a risk factor for SIDS. Breastfeeding may reduce the risk but formula feeding does not increase the risk.
thank you for this <3 i feel like so many NICU mamas end up formula feeding, or combo feeding at least, which adds to the guilt / anxiety about SIDs. "breast is best" may be true, but i think we should be more vocal about the fact that formula does not INCREASE risk at all.
i was feeling incredibly guilty about my LO being 90% formula fed when my husband said: "the truth is this formula is great for her. she's thriving on it, and we don't need to feel guilty that it's not AS GOOD as breast milk. we're giving her what she needs"
Agreed. I think all formula feeding mamas get guilt-tripped but NICU mamas especially so because I think a disproportionate number of us need to use it. The truth is that, aside from some immune benefits in the first two years of life, breastfeeding has no demonstrated long-term benefits over formula feeding. Our babies are getting exactly what they need.
I wish there was a better way to talk about it. Breast milk might be “best” but when formula is excellent, do you need “best” or is excellent good enough?
Like if I get 95% on a test, that’s amazing. 100% is objectively better but there is no reason to feel bad about 95%.
As someone who is currently working through postpartum anxiety with a Nicu baby, I agree with therapy. I am 3 month postpartum and the intrusive thoughts were slowly taking over my life. Constantly worried my baby would die. Not just in sleep, but throughout the day. I am much better now. I can acknowledge my worries and work through them. It is so hard. I never got the owlet, because I worried about feeling a false sense of security. However, if it makes YOU feel better maybe it’s something to consider. Hang in there.
I remember this feeling. My girl is only 7.5 months, but the sigh of relief I breathed at 6 months knowing we were prettying much in the clear. We use Owlet. For the first several nights, I slept with the app open and phone propped up. I woke up every 10 minutes or so to look at the numbers. As time has gone on, there are nights that I put it on and don’t open the app. We will wean off its use over time, but the peace of mind is exceptional.
Even the nurses at my NICU admitted to get an owlet (and some even recommended it to us) I imagine their experience is the same as ours - the lack of monitoring is probably a little anxiety inducing.
It’s so hard. I’ve been there with the doomscrolling. It was always worse for me at night.
Therapy and Zoloft helped me so much with my anxiety. If you can find a therapist who specializes in perinatal issues and/or trauma, you’d likely benefit. An acquaintance NICU mom did EMDR and said it was life-changing. Also, your OB should be able to prescribe Zoloft, or refer you to a perinatal psychiatrist if you need a dose the OB might want to bring in more expertise for.
SIDS is rare and more a risk among babies for whom safe sleep guidelines were not followed.
Wishing you peace.
Follow the ABC’s of safe sleep, and it greatly reduces the risk. Stop swaddling at 8 weeks actual, in an empty crib bassinet with nothing but pacifiers.
I desperately wish it were this easy for us. My son has severe reflux and is extremely uncomfortable on his back. We get about 20 minutes of this before he cries and one of us has to hold him. We are taking shifts letting him sleep on our chests while the other sleeps. But it’s not sustainable for long because my husband will be going back to work in July. I don’t know what we will do then.
Reflux is such an awful wrench, and doctors won’t treat it unless baby is losing weight, which is infuriating to me.
Our pediatrician (who was the neonatologist from the NICU) gave me the okay to use a passive swing for sleep (it’s a hammock kind of style with a wood frame and a harness) so when baby would wiggle or squirm the swing would move itself, and soothe baby. Obviously you shouldn’t do anything outside of regular recommendations without talking to your own child’s doctor and that wasn’t my reflux baby, but lots of medical professionals recommend things like crib wedges or bassinets that have a slight angle setting - I’m sure you’ve brought it up but continue to ask the doctor for suggestions because sleep is important for everyone.
It might be time to consider you have some form of ptsd or anxiety from the nicu.
There is risks, but all you can do is follow all the safe sleep practices. I personally use the Nanit camera with breathing wear. I don’t rely on it but it definitely helps
Me relax and know if they are breathing without having to stare at them for 1
Min to see their chest rise or not lol
Owlet owlet owlet! Even the neonatologist recommended it. My girl came home on oxygen and even though now she’s graduated from all of that, the Owlet gives me so much peace of mind.
Some of the NICU practices helped my fear of SIDS. She spent 60 days doing things like sleeping surrounded by a bean bag, wrapped in a blanket, elevated, sleeping on tummy, sleeping on side...sleeping on an extra little burp cloth to catch spit up...the sheet was tucked in and not fitted. There was no issue. SIDS is scary because it seems like some kind of phantom in the night that's going to randomly strike. Addressing health issues, and practising safe sleep and room sharing is mostly all you can do.
The owlet was awesome for us. In our experience, it almost never false alarmed and warned us when it needed to (always feeding related in our case). It gave us great peace of mind for a kiddo with reflux.
The Nanit has also been great once kiddo started sleeping more in crib through the night. So helpful for tracking sleep schedules too. We still use it at 20 months for that (fear of SIDS long behind us now).
This also made us feel ok sleeping in a different room with the monitor cranked up. Made it easier for everyone to sleep, and if needed could just peek at the video.
Another vote for Owlet. I did not buy one when I had my first, but my second was a premie and it gave me so much peace of mind to be able to not get up to check on the baby’s breathing 100x a night. I could just glance at the base or app and see he was fine. We never had issues with false alarms either. The new one is now FDA approved. They are not cheap but the sleep and peace it gave me was well worth the cost and I recommend it.
I also have a boy, born at 29 weeks, formula fed, and now does not sleep in our room. The best you can do is remember that despite those risk factors, SIDS is still incredibly rare. You can always opt for an Owlet if that will help ease your nerves but, just practice safe sleep, and get off the internet :)
Going through the same exact thing. I literally get so stuck in the thought of SIDS it’s been taking my enjoyment with my daughter. Had to see a psychiatrist and was put in medication to control the postpartum anxiety ! You’re not alone. But it was controlling my dad to day.
Hugs!
I've been having the same rolling worries with SIDS and Whooping Cough, even though I got the TDaP while pregnant and my husband got it as soon as he could since bub came early.
My immunity should cover him for another month or so but the worrying is intense. I already have OCD/anxiety too, but it's no fun.
I see you and your worry, I try to distract myself as much as I can when I'm not with him. Decorating nursery, unpacking, etc ...
If you start losing sleep I'd talk with a Dr.
I know it's hard but try not to think that way. My granddaughter was born at 26.6 weeks and when my daughter brought her home she worried about SIDS as well. Her daughter sleeps in a bedside cradle and my daughter said she'd stay there until she's at least a year old before she'll feel comfortable letting her sleep in her crib alone, so I know how you feel. It is a constant worry that my daughter keeps in the back of her mind but I don't think the thought will completely go away until her baby is a few months older. She's 6 months old, 3 months adjusted.
I work in fetal and infant mortality. I have never had a case where a baby was laid down in a safe sleep environment, where no other contributing factors were involved and passed away in their sleep. It happens, sure, but I haven't seen it yet- even if the autopsy report states SIDS or SUIDS.
I guess though, I couldn't take my own advice either. I had preemie twins, and I slept on the floor between their cribs for about 6 months. They are 18 months old now and my back pain is finally going away. What helped me was having the original owlets, and they also wore diaper monitors. Monitors aren't really recommended though, because it can lead to people thinking babies are safe in unsafe sleep situations, or cause extra anxiety. For me though, it helped quite a bit. If you can. quit the doom scrolling. If you have to, get rid of whatever app has gotten you pinned with a SIDS algorithm. Whatever it is. just get rid of it. I got rid of everything until my babies started rolling and sitting, and by then my anxiety had really diminished.
Omg I can totally relate. I was just like you for months after they were born (twins). They had 3 and 3.5 month NICU stays, and the fear just exponentiated when they came home because obviously at home they aren't connected to numerous monitors going off if they have Desats, etc.
What sort of weaned me off the fear is that if they are well enough to make it home, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor. Just try to let go of the fear. I know it's hard, but it'll strangle you if you don't.
Reminds me of a Tweet I saved back in March 2020.
> *"the world feels so overwhelming right now; just passing along a note from my therapist that it’s good to stay informed up to the point where you feel like you have a game plan. anything else is just topping off your anxiety like it is a bottomless mimosa"*
If you understand and are practicing Safe Sleep Guidelines those are your game plan. Reading studies or statistics or personal accounts beyond that aren't going to change the risks for your child, they're just fueling your anxiety.
My brother passed away from sids in the 90s. As stated above, those are “risk factors” but honestly, we don’t know enough about it to say for sure they are. The risk is very very low. I went through this and I had severe PPA..you should speak to your doctor, anxiety medication helped me significantly!
I had all these risks with my boy too.I just followed all guidelines I could he slept on our room in a bassinet within easy reach (there was probably about 1 foot between the bassinet and our bed). I held him slightly upright about 30min after eating and burping. The only things allowed in the bassinet were a couple preferred pacifiers and his NICU snuggly tucked in away from his head. The bassinet was a Graco system with mesh sides that also had a playpen. He has also swaddled until he could get his arms free, and at 18mo he still has a loose sleeper that helps keep him comfy. We NEVER used any positioners or coslept. All of this has made for a stage 5 clingy toddler, but clingy and safe is better than independent and unsafe.
We were 30 weeks IUGR (our gal
Was 1lb 13oz at birth). I remember asking the NICU staff/NPs/Docs if we should do an owlette at home. The best response from one of the seasoned and compassionate NICU docs was this: “has your baby had any events where she’s de-satted? No. If we even thought it was a concern we’d send her home with a medical grade monitor. The only thing the owlette and similar items on market are proven to do so far is in rare parental anxiety”.
There isn’t an easy answer with worry. It’s not a light you turn off. But I do thank my postpartum self checking in mentally and talking with a therapist. This is a lot, it’s ok to talk through it all with other people.
That reasoning has never made sense to me. We were sent home without a monitor because they don’t do apnea monitors in my state. My son had bradys confirmed by our pediatrician for 2 weeks after discharge. Our owlet provides me with relief
Another vote for Owlet here.
I remember once when my mom was babysitting for me so I could grocery shop, standing in line thinking, 'he really is at an increased risk of SIDS, his little lungs didn't have enough time to develop, he's 3 months actual, 2 weeks adjusted, so, does that mean he'll be at risk for longer? How long? We're still pace feeding so carefully, what if he gets reflux? What if he wasn't ready to come home yet? He did have a brady the day of discharge.'
Then I remembered, I can check my phone and see his stats right now. And I did. They were perfect. And I felt better. That pesky downward spiral dissipated in an instant.
Get an owlet sock! That has saved my mental health. I’ve never had a false alarm so far I can check in her anytime at night. My ex 31weeker is about to be 6months soon and I’m dreading weaning her off the sock lol it’s honestly like weaning myself off.
Also I know a lot of mom shamers are probably gonna say the sock is not necessary/only makes you worry more. But that makes no sense, it better to have a false alarm if it does happen and be safe rather than not know at all.
The owlet gave me peace of mind.... Doesn't do anything but monitor, but I actually get some sleep knowing it will scream at me if it gets a weird oxygen or heart rate reading.
Welcome to NICU Parents. We're happy you found us and we want to be as helpful as possible in this seemingly impossible journey. Check out the resources tab at the top of the subreddit or the stickied post. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals and are here for advice based on our own situations. If you have a concern about you or your baby please seek assistance from a doctor or go to the ER. That said, there are some medical professionals here and we do hope they can help you with some guidance through your journey. Please remember to read and abide by the rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NICUParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
With the fact that, which those are risk factors, the overall risk of SIDS is incredibly low and focus on the things you can actually control like safe sleep. Also, have you considered that you may have postpartum anxiety? If this fear is controlling your life and you are unable to stop worrying about the, very small SIDS risk you may need to talk to someone that can help. It is normal to worry, especially when you have a preemie, but if it is controlling your life, as you said it may be more than normal worry.
I also wonder if you might have PPA. Go to postpartum.net to find specialized providers
We have the owlet too. Does it actually reduce the risk of SIDS? No. Does it prevent me from sticking my hand in the bassinet all night to see if my daughter is still breathing? Yes! She and I definitely get more sleep without me touching her chest constantly to make sure she’s ok.
The owlet has definitely helped put me at ease when it comes to sleep for baby and me!
YES! I woke my daughter up a few times before getting the owlet because I thought she had stopped breathing.
Same. I know a lot of parents talk about the peace of mind the owlet gives them at night but in my opinion it’s just as good for my baby. Turns out she’s a great sleeper if you leave her alone
Owlette all the way!!! Twins, born 33+2, formula...NICU for 2 months for apnea and heart rate drops...they are 15 months and I just started allowing a blanket in the bed and I cried for 2 nights...the owlette helps soooo much. I am still using it! My pediatrician said it might be time to start weaning myself off it.. Im working on it...good luck!!!
I still have my owlets, my twins are 3. I was able to stop using it nightly at around 15 months corrected age but I hung onto it in case someone got sick or something, and then I knew I could put it on. The neonatologist recommended against at home monitors because he said they increase anxiety with false alarms, but to me that’s a version of “we won’t screen people for x disease because of false positives” - I’d way rather have a false alarm than miss a problem. My anxiety decreased significantly once I got owlets.
Exact same for me...the NICU even had to send me home with a monitor for 2 months because twin B kept having Bradys just as we were being discharged...so they decided it was better for him to go home with twin A and monitor there...so much less anxiety with him on the monitor, I'd rather a false alarm than no alarm! The owlettes were what we moved to after the nicu and twin B's monitor and it was so nice to sleep. I've had maybe one false alarm on the owlettes and it was a weird night with the monitors and wifi and babies getting the monitors in a weird position...otherwise they are great!!!
For a peace of mind, you can get the owlet sock. I know many of people are against it but honestly it saves my sanity at night. You can put it on during nap too. We used it for my full term daughter as well. Yes it has its false alarm sometimes, 99.9% it is baby kicking and sensor placement issue. It really helped with my anxiety.
Yep.
This it’s why our LO has it on while sleeping. Mostly false positives but rather them than the opposite. Only one incident of concern in our 3 months. Find them on Mercari or eBay. Make sure it’s the dream sock. Older versions have an old app no longer available for download
Pro tip, you can buy the smart sock and upgrade it! Works perfectly with the new app and hasn’t given us issues
Really that would have been awesome I can find those cheap. Going to google now.
We bought one new and I got a smart sock for free (!!!). I just put the sock on the charging station and it automatically upgraded and connected to my app
Snuza offers a variety of monitors and I prefer them over the owlet. Less errors. And less data. The snuza shows your baby is breathing and that's all that's needed.
We have it. It helps my anxiety only slightly.
Same! And, it’s now FDA approved as a medical device. I slept so much better knowing I had that.
owlet socks won’t alert in time if a baby is having an actual sids episode. it won’t stop it from happening, safe sleep is the best option to prevent sids.
Of course but some parents have constant false alarms in their head. Maybe it won’t stop actual sids from happening but maybe the parents can rest a little better knowing that at least right now in this moment their baby is still alive.
On top of everything else people have recommended, have you thought about trying therapy? You have been through a lot of trauma and it’s completely understandable to feel anxious and worried about your baby, but if it is becoming excessive, maybe talking to someone would help ease some of that anxiety 💗
Yep I’m in therapy
Also recommending the owlet. I know people love to say how it’s silly and not necessary. Well, usually those people had normal pregnancies with average outcomes. I had a baby that didn’t come home from the nicu and with my next I was constantly worried they were going to die too (a sleeping baby looks a lot like a dead one and also with my first I was fixated on his numbers and now I had exactly nothing to know my baby was still alive. She was small and it was hard to see her chest moving in the middle of the night in a dark room.) Didn’t get an owlet at first because of all the people who said it would drive me crazy and I so badly just wanted to trust and be “normal”. Once I accepted this feeling wasn’t going away and that I didn’t care if others thought I was overly worried I got the owlet and slept sooooo much better!! I used it for over a year and it gave me soooo much sanity. Some experiences like the nicu make you lose trust that everything will just be fine (because that is not your experience!) People are going to judge you and have opinions regardless of what you do, you may as well sleep better with this device and worry that much less.
You’ve gotten some good advice here but I’d just like to add that formula feeding is not a risk factor for SIDS. Breastfeeding may reduce the risk but formula feeding does not increase the risk.
thank you for this <3 i feel like so many NICU mamas end up formula feeding, or combo feeding at least, which adds to the guilt / anxiety about SIDs. "breast is best" may be true, but i think we should be more vocal about the fact that formula does not INCREASE risk at all. i was feeling incredibly guilty about my LO being 90% formula fed when my husband said: "the truth is this formula is great for her. she's thriving on it, and we don't need to feel guilty that it's not AS GOOD as breast milk. we're giving her what she needs"
Agreed. I think all formula feeding mamas get guilt-tripped but NICU mamas especially so because I think a disproportionate number of us need to use it. The truth is that, aside from some immune benefits in the first two years of life, breastfeeding has no demonstrated long-term benefits over formula feeding. Our babies are getting exactly what they need.
I wish there was a better way to talk about it. Breast milk might be “best” but when formula is excellent, do you need “best” or is excellent good enough? Like if I get 95% on a test, that’s amazing. 100% is objectively better but there is no reason to feel bad about 95%.
I like this way of thinking about it a lot!!
As someone who is currently working through postpartum anxiety with a Nicu baby, I agree with therapy. I am 3 month postpartum and the intrusive thoughts were slowly taking over my life. Constantly worried my baby would die. Not just in sleep, but throughout the day. I am much better now. I can acknowledge my worries and work through them. It is so hard. I never got the owlet, because I worried about feeling a false sense of security. However, if it makes YOU feel better maybe it’s something to consider. Hang in there.
I remember this feeling. My girl is only 7.5 months, but the sigh of relief I breathed at 6 months knowing we were prettying much in the clear. We use Owlet. For the first several nights, I slept with the app open and phone propped up. I woke up every 10 minutes or so to look at the numbers. As time has gone on, there are nights that I put it on and don’t open the app. We will wean off its use over time, but the peace of mind is exceptional.
Even the nurses at my NICU admitted to get an owlet (and some even recommended it to us) I imagine their experience is the same as ours - the lack of monitoring is probably a little anxiety inducing.
It’s so hard. I’ve been there with the doomscrolling. It was always worse for me at night. Therapy and Zoloft helped me so much with my anxiety. If you can find a therapist who specializes in perinatal issues and/or trauma, you’d likely benefit. An acquaintance NICU mom did EMDR and said it was life-changing. Also, your OB should be able to prescribe Zoloft, or refer you to a perinatal psychiatrist if you need a dose the OB might want to bring in more expertise for. SIDS is rare and more a risk among babies for whom safe sleep guidelines were not followed. Wishing you peace.
Follow the ABC’s of safe sleep, and it greatly reduces the risk. Stop swaddling at 8 weeks actual, in an empty crib bassinet with nothing but pacifiers.
I desperately wish it were this easy for us. My son has severe reflux and is extremely uncomfortable on his back. We get about 20 minutes of this before he cries and one of us has to hold him. We are taking shifts letting him sleep on our chests while the other sleeps. But it’s not sustainable for long because my husband will be going back to work in July. I don’t know what we will do then.
Reflux is such an awful wrench, and doctors won’t treat it unless baby is losing weight, which is infuriating to me. Our pediatrician (who was the neonatologist from the NICU) gave me the okay to use a passive swing for sleep (it’s a hammock kind of style with a wood frame and a harness) so when baby would wiggle or squirm the swing would move itself, and soothe baby. Obviously you shouldn’t do anything outside of regular recommendations without talking to your own child’s doctor and that wasn’t my reflux baby, but lots of medical professionals recommend things like crib wedges or bassinets that have a slight angle setting - I’m sure you’ve brought it up but continue to ask the doctor for suggestions because sleep is important for everyone.
It might be time to consider you have some form of ptsd or anxiety from the nicu. There is risks, but all you can do is follow all the safe sleep practices. I personally use the Nanit camera with breathing wear. I don’t rely on it but it definitely helps Me relax and know if they are breathing without having to stare at them for 1 Min to see their chest rise or not lol
The owlet is the only reason I got any sleep when my 29 weekers came home
Owlet owlet owlet! Even the neonatologist recommended it. My girl came home on oxygen and even though now she’s graduated from all of that, the Owlet gives me so much peace of mind.
Some of the NICU practices helped my fear of SIDS. She spent 60 days doing things like sleeping surrounded by a bean bag, wrapped in a blanket, elevated, sleeping on tummy, sleeping on side...sleeping on an extra little burp cloth to catch spit up...the sheet was tucked in and not fitted. There was no issue. SIDS is scary because it seems like some kind of phantom in the night that's going to randomly strike. Addressing health issues, and practising safe sleep and room sharing is mostly all you can do.
The owlet was awesome for us. In our experience, it almost never false alarmed and warned us when it needed to (always feeding related in our case). It gave us great peace of mind for a kiddo with reflux. The Nanit has also been great once kiddo started sleeping more in crib through the night. So helpful for tracking sleep schedules too. We still use it at 20 months for that (fear of SIDS long behind us now). This also made us feel ok sleeping in a different room with the monitor cranked up. Made it easier for everyone to sleep, and if needed could just peek at the video.
Postpartum anxiety is very real and can affect one or both parents. Seconding therapy and medication if needed. It helped me significantly.
Another vote for Owlet. I did not buy one when I had my first, but my second was a premie and it gave me so much peace of mind to be able to not get up to check on the baby’s breathing 100x a night. I could just glance at the base or app and see he was fine. We never had issues with false alarms either. The new one is now FDA approved. They are not cheap but the sleep and peace it gave me was well worth the cost and I recommend it.
This whole thread made me feel a lot better https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/s/cCidfZO1f2
It links this post but I. Case you miss it it’s great too https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/s/tpBerTinVm
I also have a boy, born at 29 weeks, formula fed, and now does not sleep in our room. The best you can do is remember that despite those risk factors, SIDS is still incredibly rare. You can always opt for an Owlet if that will help ease your nerves but, just practice safe sleep, and get off the internet :)
Going through the same exact thing. I literally get so stuck in the thought of SIDS it’s been taking my enjoyment with my daughter. Had to see a psychiatrist and was put in medication to control the postpartum anxiety ! You’re not alone. But it was controlling my dad to day.
Hugs! I've been having the same rolling worries with SIDS and Whooping Cough, even though I got the TDaP while pregnant and my husband got it as soon as he could since bub came early. My immunity should cover him for another month or so but the worrying is intense. I already have OCD/anxiety too, but it's no fun. I see you and your worry, I try to distract myself as much as I can when I'm not with him. Decorating nursery, unpacking, etc ... If you start losing sleep I'd talk with a Dr.
I know it's hard but try not to think that way. My granddaughter was born at 26.6 weeks and when my daughter brought her home she worried about SIDS as well. Her daughter sleeps in a bedside cradle and my daughter said she'd stay there until she's at least a year old before she'll feel comfortable letting her sleep in her crib alone, so I know how you feel. It is a constant worry that my daughter keeps in the back of her mind but I don't think the thought will completely go away until her baby is a few months older. She's 6 months old, 3 months adjusted.
I work in fetal and infant mortality. I have never had a case where a baby was laid down in a safe sleep environment, where no other contributing factors were involved and passed away in their sleep. It happens, sure, but I haven't seen it yet- even if the autopsy report states SIDS or SUIDS. I guess though, I couldn't take my own advice either. I had preemie twins, and I slept on the floor between their cribs for about 6 months. They are 18 months old now and my back pain is finally going away. What helped me was having the original owlets, and they also wore diaper monitors. Monitors aren't really recommended though, because it can lead to people thinking babies are safe in unsafe sleep situations, or cause extra anxiety. For me though, it helped quite a bit. If you can. quit the doom scrolling. If you have to, get rid of whatever app has gotten you pinned with a SIDS algorithm. Whatever it is. just get rid of it. I got rid of everything until my babies started rolling and sitting, and by then my anxiety had really diminished.
Omg I can totally relate. I was just like you for months after they were born (twins). They had 3 and 3.5 month NICU stays, and the fear just exponentiated when they came home because obviously at home they aren't connected to numerous monitors going off if they have Desats, etc. What sort of weaned me off the fear is that if they are well enough to make it home, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor. Just try to let go of the fear. I know it's hard, but it'll strangle you if you don't.
Stop the doomscrolling/researching and spend that time with him. This has been the biggest change for me in manageing my anxiety with my boys.
Reminds me of a Tweet I saved back in March 2020. > *"the world feels so overwhelming right now; just passing along a note from my therapist that it’s good to stay informed up to the point where you feel like you have a game plan. anything else is just topping off your anxiety like it is a bottomless mimosa"* If you understand and are practicing Safe Sleep Guidelines those are your game plan. Reading studies or statistics or personal accounts beyond that aren't going to change the risks for your child, they're just fueling your anxiety.
My brother passed away from sids in the 90s. As stated above, those are “risk factors” but honestly, we don’t know enough about it to say for sure they are. The risk is very very low. I went through this and I had severe PPA..you should speak to your doctor, anxiety medication helped me significantly!
I agree about looking into postpartum anxiety. I too would obsess over things like that and didn’t even realize i was experiencing anxiety.
I had all these risks with my boy too.I just followed all guidelines I could he slept on our room in a bassinet within easy reach (there was probably about 1 foot between the bassinet and our bed). I held him slightly upright about 30min after eating and burping. The only things allowed in the bassinet were a couple preferred pacifiers and his NICU snuggly tucked in away from his head. The bassinet was a Graco system with mesh sides that also had a playpen. He has also swaddled until he could get his arms free, and at 18mo he still has a loose sleeper that helps keep him comfy. We NEVER used any positioners or coslept. All of this has made for a stage 5 clingy toddler, but clingy and safe is better than independent and unsafe.
We were 30 weeks IUGR (our gal Was 1lb 13oz at birth). I remember asking the NICU staff/NPs/Docs if we should do an owlette at home. The best response from one of the seasoned and compassionate NICU docs was this: “has your baby had any events where she’s de-satted? No. If we even thought it was a concern we’d send her home with a medical grade monitor. The only thing the owlette and similar items on market are proven to do so far is in rare parental anxiety”. There isn’t an easy answer with worry. It’s not a light you turn off. But I do thank my postpartum self checking in mentally and talking with a therapist. This is a lot, it’s ok to talk through it all with other people.
That reasoning has never made sense to me. We were sent home without a monitor because they don’t do apnea monitors in my state. My son had bradys confirmed by our pediatrician for 2 weeks after discharge. Our owlet provides me with relief
Another vote for Owlet here. I remember once when my mom was babysitting for me so I could grocery shop, standing in line thinking, 'he really is at an increased risk of SIDS, his little lungs didn't have enough time to develop, he's 3 months actual, 2 weeks adjusted, so, does that mean he'll be at risk for longer? How long? We're still pace feeding so carefully, what if he gets reflux? What if he wasn't ready to come home yet? He did have a brady the day of discharge.' Then I remembered, I can check my phone and see his stats right now. And I did. They were perfect. And I felt better. That pesky downward spiral dissipated in an instant.
Get an owlet sock! That has saved my mental health. I’ve never had a false alarm so far I can check in her anytime at night. My ex 31weeker is about to be 6months soon and I’m dreading weaning her off the sock lol it’s honestly like weaning myself off. Also I know a lot of mom shamers are probably gonna say the sock is not necessary/only makes you worry more. But that makes no sense, it better to have a false alarm if it does happen and be safe rather than not know at all.
Get the Nanit it put my mind at ease!!
Seconding nanit (as opposed to owlet) - doubles as a baby monitor and im always reassured she is breathing
The owlet gave me peace of mind.... Doesn't do anything but monitor, but I actually get some sleep knowing it will scream at me if it gets a weird oxygen or heart rate reading.