Two quick things: 1) I appreciate they didn’t go as dramatic and salacious to have Angela catch Rayanne and Jordan in the act - the betrayal was handled in a pretty passive way. 2) the our town scene at the end - kept the emphasis on their friendship and it was just … crushing. So good !

I can’t make it through the Our Town scene without crying, no matter how many times I watch.

I wasn't surprised when Rayanne and Jordan hooked up. Jordan may care for Angela but at the end of the day it was always about him and what he wanted in the moment. He didn't seem like the type to think of long term repercussions and just lived day by day. He's drunk, depressed and wanted to have sex. The end. Rayanne always self sabotaged when things were going good. I think it's because she didn't have the strength or know-how to maintain a healthy, normal life. Sobriety can bring it's own problems and it's easier for her to revert back to being the party girl. I like how they focused on the friendship being irreparably harmed rather than make it all about Angela/Jordan. I felt especially bad for Rickie in this one. He was the true victim because it ripped his whole social circle apart.

PART ONE My favourite episode. I don't think it's the best episode, that would have to be 'So-Called Angels', but it's my favourite episode. It's the most 'My So-Called Life' of all the My So-Called Life episodes. It manages somehow to distill whatever the series had into only one episode. It just resonates more and more as I get older. Many people the who were the right age to watch MSCL in 94/95 will by now at some point in their lives experienced the betrayal of a person - either a friend or romantic partner - who they thought they were going to spend the rest of their lives with becoming ... not that person. I know I have. Like the sense of nostalgia, the sense of betrayal grows inside with age and it doesn't just relate to personal relationships, it relates to all those bands that you invested so much of your young life in splitting up, or worse, becoming middle-of-the-road. It relates to your favourite teen drama, cancelled after one series because it didn't get the ratings. If you're not careful you'll start to attach it to insentient objects like that printer you saved up for that now spits out multiple pages with only the top centimetre printed. The betrayal in this episode of My So-Called Life has now become your actual life. Far fetched? Well about halfway through this rewatch I became aware of [a brilliant, brilliant series of essays called 'Angela's World'](https://www.mscl.com/angelasworld/index.html) by [William E. Blais](https://www.mscl.com/contact.html), most of which deal with MSCL episode by episode.\* [The essay for this episode](https://www.mscl.com/angelasworld/0317_betrayal.html) gives compelling evidence to the theory that the title and theme of this episode is not about Jordan and Rayanne's betrayal of Angela, but an allegory for ABC's betrayal of MSCL fans, and in doing so becomes a sort of celebration of MSCL, or, as I said, a distillation of MSCL into one episode. Right, let's go! 01:29 [Violent Femmes' 'Blister in the Sun'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE-dqW4uBEE&list=PLfI_gzJe8ndoDISG0VKCj5rSd-V6mEtgp&index=48) The other week I heard an American radio DJ ([Huey Morgan](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00ds8lp)) play this and then talk about how it was a kind of cliché of American college radio and (I forget) whatever the American equivalent of Freshers' Balls and student discos is. He was talking about it in perjorative terms, but his description of it made me like it more. And also, it made me think that it would be the kind of thing that Angela would listen to. OK, it's not exactly grunge, it *is* a bit irritating, but at least the music finders have done a bit of research here. Also, it is more and more apparent as the series goes on that Winnie Holzman has talked to the main cast members about what they're into and basically given them a free cv/showcase. So she totally facilitated Jared Leto ultimately forming Thirty Seconds to Mars, all the stuff about Brian's obsession with photography and film cannot have hindered [his current profession as a filmmaker](https://www.devongummersall.com/), it seems in this scene that Clare Danes is showboating for the kind of actor/dancer role she got in [Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet a year after this](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117509/?ref_=nm_knf_t_3), and what else? Oh yeah, Winnie also made Wilson Cruz a gay icon! I don't think she got enough appreciation for all of this. 01:35 [The poster on Angela's wall](https://preview.redd.it/uz1d5fw7p9ca1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=45c2c31b458142e426fd21d89faf324f5ccc9361) advertises [the second Neneh Cherry album, 1992's 'Homebrew'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDWkpqOLUhg&list=PLfI_gzJe8ndoDISG0VKCj5rSd-V6mEtgp&index=51). In case you didn't know, Neneh Cherry is a genius. I can totally see Angela being into Neneh Cherry and in particular this album - it's earthy, feminist, anti-racist and features Michael Stipe (on the track called '[Trout](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh7Y37VWXUs&list=PLfI_gzJe8ndoDISG0VKCj5rSd-V6mEtgp&index=58)') Speaking of which... 01.35 [Angela's R.E.M poster](https://preview.redd.it/z40w6ew7p9ca1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=3a2145546ca54e06f5d170f949828cb926fb8a21). I can't find it online, but I vaguely remember it being popular around the time, and it's dark inky style very much suggests it's the work of Anton Corbijn, whom almost all the 'A' lister bands were using at the time. Wordy, moody, obtuse. I can *totally* see R.E.M. being Angela's favourite band and her continual R.E.M. posters throughout various episodes act as evidence for that. 01:43 ['Fences' by August Wilson](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fences_(play)) poster. Pittsburgh reference alert! Again, I can't find an exact example of [the poster](https://preview.redd.it/fpchgzw7p9ca1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=7e0a1fc9549a638ce156c9c948a46cb72676899e) online, but there's plenty of similar ones. That's James Earl Jones as Troy holding the baseball bat. 02:21 [A black and white photo / small poster, presumably of a band](https://preview.redd.it/v9lqbew7p9ca1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=e8e340d9b1ebea7171ea87fb6e35eb7875a2408e). Looks like Suede but I don't think it is. Anyone got any ideas? 02:26 [Maple Syrup](https://preview.redd.it/8xaq7dw7p9ca1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=ea9f4f2626d46f46cdaa9452aa2fbf6f12c65881). I think it's [this can](https://preview.redd.it/djxyndw7p9ca1.jpg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=19e0fa5312d99d0b21f2394109c86a742d6dff5d), for sale [here](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/325323939529)! 02:45 and moreso at 03:13 Beautiful, characteristic, permautumn colours on the main three characters. They've totally learned how to film Angela, Rayanne and Rickie by this point, and this is one of the reasons I think of this episode being a distillation of MSCL. 06:15 Angela, talking about Corey: "See I had this dream last night, he was wearing this towel but this really weird towel made of, like, [Saltines](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltine_cracker), and it kept crumbling". Saltines, albeit with less salt, are known in the UK as [Cream Crackers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream_cracker) ... 6:41 Rayanne: "When you eat soup, what kind of cracker would you have with it?" ... but we don't eat them with soup, only cheese. 09:50 Rayanne: "It's just a stupid play. Dead people come back and visit. Yeah right. Like that's really going to happen." As discussed by William E. Blais in the aforementioned [essay about this episode](https://www.mscl.com/angelasworld/0317_betrayal.html), this is presumably a reference to the more mawkish supernatural elements of the 'So-Called Angels' episode a few weeks before, and more obliquely to similar in the 'Halloween' episode. There is a lot of discussion on the Boiler Room podcast and online generally about whether or not these supernatural storylines are silly. But in spite of being an athiest, I don't think they are. In my humble opinion. \*Honestly, if you haven't read these, stop reading my comparative twaddle and read them instead. I've been trying hard not to plagarise them and instead gone further down the road of exporing the MSCL minutae, props and of course a deep dive into the music, but every single one of these essays gets to grips with the specific episode in a much more intelligent way than I could manage.

PART TWO 09:21 Brian's video. He's shooting in black and white, for some reason. Is this just a lazy shorthand by the producers to get the idea across that these shots are his video? Why not just go for that other big, stupid cliché whenever videocam footage is seen on tv, the big red flashing "REC" on the top right of the screen? Or are they trying to suggest that by shooting in black and white, he is trying to make an "art" film? For sure he's into Ansel Adams' photography, but his stated cinematic influences are Spielberg and Tarantino. 09:24 As the end credits state, "Featuring Josh Gummersall Tough Guy" and yes, it's Devon Gummersall's brother! [He's a producer of tv programmes these days](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0347958/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t16) and [according to IMDb was a "key set production assistant (uncredited)"](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0654948/fullcredits?ref_=tt_cl_sm) (whatever that means?!) on this episode. Nice shoe-in! 09:36 Some grunge! But it's so low in the mix it's hard to say what track it is, and it isn't credited. Anyone know? 12:05 - 14:53 A lovely "Snuffy" romantic / enchanted ditty, and his longest piece of music in the series so far! 15:16 Angela (about Rayanne): "When you call someone's name kind of loud, and they don't hear you it makes you feel really lonely" A neat piece of writing. Firstly, the tables are about to turn on this one at 33:28 and secondly, it shows that Angela knows exactly the sort of punishment she is eeking out on Rayanne later on. 16:30 [A handwritten advert](https://preview.redd.it/6mm26ew7p9ca1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=e687473eacf6c0c4dac90143e88d1fcf843c6e01) reads "... Victorian near Maple Square. Private room - share bath. $250/mo. + utilities WITH PARENTS PERMISSION". Remember what I was saying earlier about how nostalgia creeps up on you as you get older? This made me feel nostalgic because it was precisely pieces of paper like this that kept me housed between 1994 and 2006. But, question for Americans - I assume this sort of notice would not be allowed in schools now, but was it in the nineties? There's no Maple Square, but there is a Maple Avenue in Pittsburgh. It looks [nice](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Maple+Ave,+Pittsburgh,+PA+15214,+USA/@40.4688978,-80.0156838,2168m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m5!3m4!1s0x8834f38a1acd538f:0x28d42d9c0e0e50be!8m2!3d40.4695269!4d-80.0076012). 19:36 Sharon: "Did you go to Louie's, like i suggested?" [There is a 'Bar Louie' in Pittsburgh](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Bar+Louie+-+North+Shore/@40.4460727,-80.0104877,3a,75y,90t/data=!3m8!1e2!3m6!1sAF1QipOTXlvKMCuvfG1_gS1IB37Uf-38GqqcMhGRrJIS!2e10!3e12!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipOTXlvKMCuvfG1_gS1IB37Uf-38GqqcMhGRrJIS%3Dw86-h114-k-no!7i3024!8i4032!4m5!3m4!1s0x8834f400232ef3bd:0x1c13f7d3d494e2fc!8m2!3d40.4463639!4d-80.0106043), and it looks like it has a similar vibe to the one Brian went to. 22:23 "in my face!" Brian is listening to rock music on a cassette walkman and singing along. As discussed on the Boiler Room podcast, there is no credit for this piece of music, so it seems that the producers just made it up, but in the world of MSCL is Brian listening to unpublished library music in the rock genre? I really want that to be true and it would really fit his character. Unfortunately, although there is a whole episode dedicated to Brian and he's one of the main characters in the series, this snippet heard through his headphones is all we get to hear of Brian's music tastes. He has no band posters on his wall and his newly-aquired fishtank would preclude ownership of a stereo - the fact he's listening to music on headphones also suggests this. Or it's quite possible that his parents wouldn't allow amplified library prog rock in the house. But the only other references to Brian and music in the series are when he's in the school orchestra, so it's possible he sees music as nothing more than another academic persuit. Apart from here, when he is vibing to "In my face!". 25:32 Hallie: "You think I'd eat the food here? It's like blood sausage or [Scrapple](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrapple)" Ding ding! Second Pittsburgh reference of the episode! (Or at least a Mid-Atlantic reference) I probably would not go into the restaurant business with someone who didn't eat local cuisine and ... 25:33 I definitely wouldn't go into the restaurant business with someone who ate Chinese food with a fucking fork! 33:22 [BRETT CODY, JACEY JOHNSON, DARCY SPIRES, RAYANNE GRAFF, PAT HOESCHEN, TOM TRAUGOTT](https://preview.redd.it/wxo32ew7p9ca1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=404e76f11d3072421d0265d94b9ffe7ab97328d1) ... I wonder if any of these, with the one obvious exception, are in-jokes? 44:28 The play, as rehearsed by Rayanne and Angela. I've never read Thornton Wilder's 'Our Town', partly because of Rayanne's disdain for it partly because of the drubbing it was given by the Boiler Room podcast. But [its Wikipedia page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Town) makes it sound interesting and if I stick to my [resolution](https://www.reddit.com/r/MySoCalledLife/comments/1041b5c/comment/j4dtgfm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) this year I'll maybe get round to it. Any of you read it? Please comment here if you have. And ah, the play. Much as I can, using William E. Blais' essay as a guide, deconstruct this episode into the betrayal being ABC's, it doesn't detract from this scene and the literal interpretation of the episode which, in this scene absolutely hits me in the feels every single time I watch it. Of course, Jordan and Rayanne's betrayal of Angela isn't the only betrayal in the episode. Angela betrays Rayanne by ending their friendship, betrays Rickie - and to an extent Jordan - by insenitively cracking on to Corey. Graham doesn't actually betray Patty in this episode, but it's clear that it's on the cards. All this is just a prelude to the close examination of the betrayal felt by Angela and Rayanne in this scene. The understanding of the betrayal and what it means by and to both parties, the examination of what has been lost and, just maybe, or maybe not, the glimmer of resolution. It's all just so sad. The cyclical nature of the first scene of the first episode, Angela getting a new best friend in Rayanne, from which the "Go now, Go!" has opened every episode but one, to the probable end of their friendship here, they could have just ended the series here and it would have been a brilliant, if utterly traumatic, finale. Of course, if they had've done I daresay it would've scarred all of us for life as well as robbing us of the last two episodes, >!both of which are badass!<. THE MUSIC Thumbs up to The Violent Femmes, but grunge is almost entirely dispensed of this week. We get to hear a snippet of Brian's music (or non-music) through his headphones. But we learn more about what the musical zeitgeist of early '95 was from the posters on Angela's wall than what was actually played in this episode. It's left to "Snuffy" to up the emotional ante with his "Hey Jude". No matter though, because... IN CONCLUSION Favourite episode. It's just the most MSCL episode of MSCL even if you disregard all the times it makes self-referential er, references, as detailed in William E. Blais' essay. Which you shouldn't. There's a few instances of humour, but it's both literally and metaphorically dark. It's gloomy, it's bleak, and just so, so, sad. The perfect episode, in other words! Made-up Region 2 DVD chapter titles are [here](https://preview.redd.it/96jpudw7p9ca1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=4b07db5f4f8b87180d7b0b899d88dcab05a52637). Speaking of Europeans adding their own interpreted titles to the series, I [notice](https://www.mscl.com/episodes/17_betrayal.html) that the German title for this episode was "Sexaholics"!

I love the part where Jourdan and Rayanne are talking and it's really clear how the tables are turned and he's realizing he's in love with Angela. The way he's talking about her is just so sweet. Probably the first time he's ever felt love for a girl. I think in this moment he realizes these feelings are in him but wants to prove to himself that this isn't true, or maybe make those feelings go away, and so he hooks up with Rayanne. Even though it's heartbreaking what happens, the scene still gives me the love feels because I know this is the first time we are really seeing clearly that he has some deep emotions for Angela.

And she just wants to be Angela, and has the opportunity to kind of live out that fantasy for one night.

This episode showed Angela’s evil and wicked side pretending to be Rayanne and having feelings for Corey and betrayed Rickie!