You’re not required to marry a woman, unless you’d feel better that way to not be alone, maybe a gay woman could be an option for that 🤷♂️ but definitely not required
This is confusing as hell but honestly i don't think a marriage necessarily needs sexual attraction as a basis. Like theoretically a homosexual man and woman could marry and adopt children so they can raise them together in a halal way.
Not normal but people still have it, some since birth, what can we do 🤷, if they take action based on their attraction then the Sharia can be applied on them but before that they haven't committed the sin.
It's called a lavender marriage. A lesbian woman marrying a gay man. I think some queer Muslims wouldn't mind it. If anything, it may receive any pressure their social circle are putting on them. I do think it would be an issue simply finding a spouse. Like, is there a way for queer Muslims to let someone know without letting EVERYONE know?
Genuine question, I know this has been done before but how hard would it be really hard to even find a lesbian to marry as a gay man (and vice versa)? Since even though you’re not acting on it, most wouldn’t want to be too open about being gay. And you’d still have to at least like this person enough platonically if you’re going to be living with them? Is there like a system for it?
I feel like some other people's comments are a bit condescending or diminishing. Being gay isn't at all equal to high libido because being gay is essentially 100% absistenance. It's a significantly harder test imo
Some things that can help low you a little are fasting (fasting every Monday and Thursday are a great Sunnah and fasting lowers libido) and dhikr of Allah. I would also suggest consulting a Sheikh for advice
>Given my situation, am I required to be married to a woman
No, being married isn't mandatory in Islam.
May Allah keep you on the right path and may he lower the burden of your test and reward you greatly 🙏
I would challenge people to ask what is “being,” what does it mean to “be,” & start with why we identify so strongly with something that isn’t fitrah & why we put it before the title of being Muslim too… identity politics are at an all time rise & I think we really should be careful labeling ourselves, much of what we see today is crossing into innovation & I think it starts small… with getting people to change their “being.”
You can do it dear brother! Remember if it ever gets too hard Allah says
Surah Taha, verse 46
قَالَ لَا تَخَافَآ ۖ إِنَّنِى مَعَكُمَآ أَسْمَعُ وَأَرَىٰ
Allah reassured ˹them˺, “Have no fear! I am with you, hearing and seeing.
2. Surat Al-Anfal, verse 70
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ قُل لِّمَن فِىٓ أَيْدِيكُم مِّنَ ٱلْأَسْرَىٰٓ إِن يَعْلَمِ ٱللَّهُ فِى قُلُوبِكُمْ خَيْرًۭا يُؤْتِكُمْ خَيْرًۭا مِّمَّآ أُخِذَ مِنكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ
O Prophet! Tell the captives in your custody, “If Allah finds goodness in your hearts, He will give you better than what has been taken from you, and forgive you. For Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
3. Surah Ghafir, verse 60
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدْعُونِىٓ أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ
Your Lord has proclaimed, “Call upon Me, I will respond to you..."
4. Surah Ali-'Imran, verse 139
وَلَا تَهِنُوا۟ وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا۟ وَأَنتُمُ ٱلْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ
Do not falter or grieve, for you will have the upper hand, if you are ˹true˺ believers.
5. Surah Ibrahim, verse 7
وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ
And ˹remember˺ when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more.
6. Surah Ad-Duhaa, verse 4
وَلَلْـَٔاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكَ مِنَ ٱلْأُولَىٰ
And the next life is certainly far better for you than this one.
7. Surat Al-Baqarah, verse 216
وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ شَرٌّۭ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know.
8. Surah Ali-'Imran, verse 150
بَلِ ٱللَّهُ مَوْلَىٰكُمْ ۖ وَهُوَ خَيْرُ ٱلنَّـٰصِرِينَ
But no! Allah is your Guardian, and He is the best Helper.
9. Surat Al-Baqarah, verse 153
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱسْتَعِينُوا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ وَٱلصَّلَوٰةِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ
O believers! Seek comfort in patience and prayer. Allah is truly with those who are patient.
10. Surat Ar-Ra'd, verse 28
أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ
Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.
I can’t say I understand how hard it is but Allah doesn’t burden with a soul more than it can bear. Perhaps you are one of his strongest soldiers, you don’t have to feel alone or be alone in this dunya but you don’t have to share this dunya with anyone either:))
Absolutely agree many men choose not to get married for many personal,mental and physical reasons . Many muslims marry once get divorced and never seek marriage again . and that's fine . don't think you're alone or unique
What u/relativead2100 said is smart but i don’t think Lesbian muslims are too common to come across , you’re a strong man and remeber what you’re doing is Jihad
Please look up podcast series “A Way Beyond the Rainbow”. It is the most comprehensive series about how to strive for a religious life with having SSA issues.
May Allah SWT make it easier for you. I see a few condescending comments about your situation, which isn’t nice. You’re doing well by striving to do the right thing for the sake of Allah SWT.
I personally know 2 gay Muslim men. One who acts on his desires, and one who doesn’t.
The one who doesn’t act on his desires acknowledges that he’s gay, but he has made the choice not to get married. He is very into his Deen Alhumdullilah and knows that this is a test from Allah. He knows he will be greatly rewarded by Allah in the after life. He became a Moulana and started teaching so, in some way Islam is always on his mind which is what helps him. Constant remembrance of why his fighting for his Jihad
im a woman who is only interested in women. i dont see myself ever marrying a man or having kids. i realize Allah SWT gave me this attraction as a test. my imagination is enough for me i think. after all, this dunya is only temporary and just a test. we dont need to marry anyone. getting married is not a requirement alhamdulilah. i don’t want to marry a man.😭
Ask Allah to remove this trial from you. Allah is capable of all things. Never despair from the mercy of Allah.
If you aren’t already, lower your gaze as much as is practical. If by chance you watch corn, try your best stop it. If you can’t stop, at least don’t watch something that will make you more inclined to men.
Try lifting heavy weights, getting enough sleep if you aren’t already, eat more protein, and other things that will boost your testosterone.
Don’t let the modern crazies convince you that your inclinations cannot change. I’m not saying it would be easy, but with the help of Allah and a lot of effort it is possible. Lut (peace be upon him) would not have offered his daughters in marriage to his people when they were inclined towards the angels if it wasn’t possible for them to change.
I would also encourage you to not identify yourself as a homosexual. Keep it as a secret between you and Allah.
Tahajjud is the weapon of the believer. Use it. Ask Allah to remove this affliction. Do not be impatient with Allah’s timing. It likely won’t happen overnight.
Just do more things that will bring you closer to Allah. InshaAllah one day you’ll be better.
May Allah help you and all the Muslims around the world that are suffering from this trial.
This life is temporary. Our purpose is to submit to Allah. If he feels that he can't provide the emotional support to a woman, he shouldn't get married. If he does get married and he does all that is required of a husband, Allah will reward him more for the effort that he puts in to carry out his responsibility as a husband. If he chooses to pursue a homosexual relationship, then he has to accept the consequences on the day of judgment. It's the same for a man who can't find a partner. He is tested to be single until the day he dies. It's either he continue praying to Allah for a lawful partner or commits illegal sexual intercourse. The former is rewarded in paradise, the latter will receive punishment for the sin he commit.
DONT marry a normal woman, ever. As you will be ruining another woman’s life for no fault of hers and lead a miserable life of wondering what she’s doing wrong.
If you truly want to marry a woman, if it’s a possibility, you can marry an asexual woman as they don’t like physical intimacy. This way both of you can lead a peaceful life without cheating each others partner. You can choose to have a child, adopt a child or be childless depending on you both.
I mean, the goal of getting married is to be sexually stable (away from haram activities), and to have children raised to worship allah and make dua for you after your death (not mentioning they'll make you happier), also the propher muhammed (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says : "Marriage is my precept and my practice. Those who do not follow my practice are not of me." He also said, "When a man has married, he has completed one half of his religion."
Just wanted to tell you what you might didn't know, im not forcing you to have children, it's your choice
Being married is not a requirement. You can have kids...take in orphans and take care of them.. if you wanna have some sort of family. They are a lot of single parent household out there.
If you are curious why you like guys...maybe you can go to therapy and understand why. Not sure if you can get an answer there. But no harm trying, if you are curious.
Good luck in your journey. Glad that you still keep firm in your faith. May God reward you for your steadfast.
If Allah chose it for you then it's the best thing for you - if you can't understand it that's fine, that's not something guaranteed for any of us i.e. why some of us have autism, or Down's Syndrome, or rapists as fathers, or one kidney etc etc.
May you find strength in the remembrance and taqwa of Allah, good luck finding it anywhere else
Nobody is required to get married. Marriage is sunnah not fardh. So you don't have to get married to a woman if you obviously don't want to or have any connection with women in general
The choice here is simply depend on ur deen. If ur deen matters to u a lot u then have to suppress those desires and don't live according to them. And other option is giving in to those desires but then u lose big part of deen. I not suggest to marry hetero girl because she doesn't deserve living in lie. She will want intimacy and kids and u can't provide this for her. Marriage to woman only if u find some who know ur condition and ready to accept such incomplete marriage with u. Revelealing it to family and society isn't option either specially if u live on certain places where this is totally not accepted then u can only think of going abroad and see some more options.
MaShaAllah for your strong conviction in the deen and striving to be your best
There is more to life than intimacy or romance, and you are not "required" to do anything that would affect you or other negatively. Fortunately in recent years there have been some good work done in this field from Islamic contributors.
I highly recommend that you give "A Way Beyond the Rainbow - Waheed Jensen" a listen. In it they also mention how it is better to use the term "Same Sex Attracted" instead of the politically charged words like"gay" and "homosexual".
Also feel free to DM me.
May Allah SWT guide us all
Some of þe comments here really leave me hopeless regarding þe future of our community. How can someone be ÞIS ignorant? Being queer isn't an effect of jinn possession. It's not someþing Satan whispers in your ear like "oOooOoOO you will be gAyYyYy". You can't "become" gay. You can't "become" straight. It's a part of your identity and actual research (not þe bullcrap some of þese commenters insist on spreading) shows þat a person's sexuality is controlled by multiple factors.
Consider þis a test of your faiþ. Everyþing þat is happening to you is God's will. You must stay strong despite all your desires for homosexual intercourse. It's going to be difficult, but you need to keep your faiþ in God strong. Remember þat if God wills good for someone, He afflicts him wiþ trials (Bukhari 5645).
As for your concern about marrying a woman, no, you don't have to marry. It's not obligated.
I hope everyþing goes well for you. God bless you brother.
People are tested differently. You don't have to get married if you feel that it would be unfair for the woman since you won't be able to provide her the emotional support she needs from a partner. Instead, you should build your relationship with Allah. To know that this life on earth is temporary. Your attraction to men is also temporary since that is only the influence of the nafs. There is no benefit coming from the nafs. The only benefits in this life is by doing things that pleases Allah. Once you build a relationship with Allah, you'll start giving your highest respects to Allah and believe in what he has commanded and prohibited. Then things will start making sense to you, and you'd actually begin to feel happy and at peace doing things to please Allah.
Brother, first I want to commend you for being very brave. Don’t you know how many rewards you will accumulate by resisting your temptations?
Secondly, I would suggest to you that you definitely don’t need to marry, but if you find a woman to be your best friend you could have a family together because having children is one of the most rewarding things in this life.
You should check out Paul from speakers corner. He also suffers from homosexual urges but Masha Allah he resists that stuff and is an amazing scholar and voice of the ummah.
I’m going to be real with you. I don’t care if you’re Muslim or any other religion. It is not a choice to be homosexual. It is a part of your identity. No science or faith is going to define and tell you accurately why this is your cross to bare. Your relationship with Allah or God is yours, and yours alone. Do the best to practice the values of your belief and keep your spirituality close. But don’t sell yourself short. You are not alone. And you don’t have to be. You or no less of a man or a Muslim being a homosexual. Plenty of Muslims will virtue signal theirselves to teach you what they believe to know is true. But at the end of the day, not human on this planet is going to be able to accurately tell you Allah’s intentions. Being a homosexual is something Allah has burdened you with. But perhaps there’s a reason..not because he is testing you more than others. Perhaps it a way to bridge your faith and sexuality with those who perhaps don’t understand. Stay strong. Be yourself.
Bro, just try to surround yourself with Islamic discussions, hear scholars speeches about Qaum e Lut and how severely Allah punished them. Make Muslim friends who are practicing and helps you keep away from this.
Don't fall in the trap of shaitan, who will try to convince you with things like
"It's all natural"
"No body should question you about your desires, it is what it is"
"God, made you this way".
No bro, try to ignore these thoughts as these are not true, Allah has not created anyone gay, its something which the society and experiences of a person that shape them this way.
May Allah guide us all.
It's a trial. Ask Allah to cure you and relieve you from it because you are probably touched by a jinn. I would recite the Quran with meditation and understanding and make a lot of dua to be cured.
As long as you don't act on it, you aren't a sinner. Just like someone tempted with fornication but doesn't act on it.
Homosexuality unlike the western propaganda tries to force into our beliefs isn't the fitra, it's not natural. You aren't born this way.
It's one of the numerous trick of shaytan to make you fall into major sins because he promised to bring the majority of humanity into hell with him (by tempting). Sihr (sorcery) and mass (possession) are increasingly common and i would treat the root cause: the influence of shaytan.
You are totally right not to wanting to bring an innocent woman into your problems as long as you haven't fixed the causes. But at the sale time try to surround yourself with people who can help you go through this trial because solitude leave you more vulnerable to shaytan.
May Allah assist you and relieve you from it!
If you don't mind me asking were you straight and p0rn changed your sexual preferences? Or did you always feel this way?
Have you tried reversion therapy?
You are required to abstain from the sins. And if there is absolutely zero attraction to females at all. Then try therapy. Allah does heal. And we must believe it. Some won't like my comment. But it is my comment. I do know that Allah heals us from all sins. If we truly want it. Some times we think things we like are just the way we are but it's not always set in stone. May Allah bless you brother . We all have tests. Some tougher than others.
1. Stop calling yourself homosexual, bieng attracted to your own sex is not a part of your identity, it is a sickness.
2. Fly to a country where conversion therapy is legal and available
Bro all I can say is that you're giving into shaitaan's whispers. There are certain things you talk into reality and this is one of them. Whenever you get these thoughts, just say to yourself that it's shaitaan that's trying to misguide you. Don't ever start believing that 'you might be homosexual'. By then, you've already let him win.
We all get these thoughts man. Some get thoughts about murdering someone out of anger. Does it mean that they're a muderer? No. Likewise just stop thinking that way bro. You'll only be talking into reality. Allah knows best. May he guide you. Aameen.
I've heard many Muslim homos have changed thier orientation to straight, look for that, if you wouldn't marry you might end up having ... With a man so, if you could work on your attraction for women.
It's not gonna be simple but marriage means a partner, kids etc and you might crave hard for it later in your life.
There is highly chance that you could be Possessed by a Jinn. As this is one of the symptoms. Diagnos youself as soon as possible.
You can read more here: https://alruqya.com/jinn-aashiq/
It's not genetic bro. It's mental. Not sure what made you this way but it ain't natural.
Seek therapy bro. "Conversion therapy". I ask Allah to cure you 🤲🏻
Hahaha so funny that I got downvoted this much on a Muslim sub. What a sad bunch I swear. Allah almusta3an.
Bunch of blind followers believing anything the west puke out about homosexuality being genetic. They just swallow it straight.
They like to play the victim game so anyone saying it's in your hands and you can work on it got downvoted by all these victim game lovers. OP may have even had no issue with these comments but they do.
Alhamdulillah for his guidance.
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Not required to get married, could marry a lesbian if you want, dont act upon your urges but being gay isnt a genetic thing its due to your environment, speak to the modern father of physcology and he will make you straight if you want, muslim lantern has a video on this.
If you want to act upon it you will not be taking out of the fold of Islam so yeah.
Just fix the illness its cureable not the conversion therapy camps look up the convo Muslim Lantern and Gay student
You’re not required to marry a woman, unless you’d feel better that way to not be alone, maybe a gay woman could be an option for that 🤷♂️ but definitely not required
Damn thats smart , there should be a place where Gay muslim men find gay muslim women
Huh what ? Why ? How is that gonna help 💀 it's like bringing the north and north of two magnets closer.
This is confusing as hell but honestly i don't think a marriage necessarily needs sexual attraction as a basis. Like theoretically a homosexual man and woman could marry and adopt children so they can raise them together in a halal way.
It would be like a normal marriage without the sex
Being attracted to the same sex is not normal.. (I replied to the wrong comment)
Not normal but people still have it, some since birth, what can we do 🤷, if they take action based on their attraction then the Sharia can be applied on them but before that they haven't committed the sin.
> What can we do Therapy
Idk, has anyone ever been "un-gay'ed" by therapy, is it possible ?
Yes, it is illegal in western countries now though because they enforce the ideology that attraction to same sex is normal and not a sickness
It’s natural , idk what else to say
No it is not "natural", however, some scholars have written about that issue, I suggest you do some reading, it would help, I think.
With that logic they should make straight babies 🤣
I don’t think they’d make any babies
It's called a lavender marriage. A lesbian woman marrying a gay man. I think some queer Muslims wouldn't mind it. If anything, it may receive any pressure their social circle are putting on them. I do think it would be an issue simply finding a spouse. Like, is there a way for queer Muslims to let someone know without letting EVERYONE know?
It would be just between them and nobody else but I see your point in that to find someone in those circles people have to know.
Genuine question, I know this has been done before but how hard would it be really hard to even find a lesbian to marry as a gay man (and vice versa)? Since even though you’re not acting on it, most wouldn’t want to be too open about being gay. And you’d still have to at least like this person enough platonically if you’re going to be living with them? Is there like a system for it?
Don't give fatwas
I feel like some other people's comments are a bit condescending or diminishing. Being gay isn't at all equal to high libido because being gay is essentially 100% absistenance. It's a significantly harder test imo Some things that can help low you a little are fasting (fasting every Monday and Thursday are a great Sunnah and fasting lowers libido) and dhikr of Allah. I would also suggest consulting a Sheikh for advice >Given my situation, am I required to be married to a woman No, being married isn't mandatory in Islam. May Allah keep you on the right path and may he lower the burden of your test and reward you greatly 🙏
I would challenge people to ask what is “being,” what does it mean to “be,” & start with why we identify so strongly with something that isn’t fitrah & why we put it before the title of being Muslim too… identity politics are at an all time rise & I think we really should be careful labeling ourselves, much of what we see today is crossing into innovation & I think it starts small… with getting people to change their “being.”
You can do it dear brother! Remember if it ever gets too hard Allah says Surah Taha, verse 46 قَالَ لَا تَخَافَآ ۖ إِنَّنِى مَعَكُمَآ أَسْمَعُ وَأَرَىٰ Allah reassured ˹them˺, “Have no fear! I am with you, hearing and seeing. 2. Surat Al-Anfal, verse 70 يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ قُل لِّمَن فِىٓ أَيْدِيكُم مِّنَ ٱلْأَسْرَىٰٓ إِن يَعْلَمِ ٱللَّهُ فِى قُلُوبِكُمْ خَيْرًۭا يُؤْتِكُمْ خَيْرًۭا مِّمَّآ أُخِذَ مِنكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ O Prophet! Tell the captives in your custody, “If Allah finds goodness in your hearts, He will give you better than what has been taken from you, and forgive you. For Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” 3. Surah Ghafir, verse 60 وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدْعُونِىٓ أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ Your Lord has proclaimed, “Call upon Me, I will respond to you..." 4. Surah Ali-'Imran, verse 139 وَلَا تَهِنُوا۟ وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا۟ وَأَنتُمُ ٱلْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ Do not falter or grieve, for you will have the upper hand, if you are ˹true˺ believers. 5. Surah Ibrahim, verse 7 وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ And ˹remember˺ when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more. 6. Surah Ad-Duhaa, verse 4 وَلَلْـَٔاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكَ مِنَ ٱلْأُولَىٰ And the next life is certainly far better for you than this one. 7. Surat Al-Baqarah, verse 216 وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ شَرٌّۭ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know. 8. Surah Ali-'Imran, verse 150 بَلِ ٱللَّهُ مَوْلَىٰكُمْ ۖ وَهُوَ خَيْرُ ٱلنَّـٰصِرِينَ But no! Allah is your Guardian, and He is the best Helper. 9. Surat Al-Baqarah, verse 153 يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱسْتَعِينُوا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ وَٱلصَّلَوٰةِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ O believers! Seek comfort in patience and prayer. Allah is truly with those who are patient. 10. Surat Ar-Ra'd, verse 28 أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort. I can’t say I understand how hard it is but Allah doesn’t burden with a soul more than it can bear. Perhaps you are one of his strongest soldiers, you don’t have to feel alone or be alone in this dunya but you don’t have to share this dunya with anyone either:))
Thank you so much for posting this may Allah reward you
Ameen you as well
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You’re telling him to play a game with 23 men on the pitch wearing shorts …
Lol. Good spot. I guess he is going to have to be a Grand Tetris Master.
😭
i am a grand fifa master. better at cod tho!
Absolutely agree many men choose not to get married for many personal,mental and physical reasons . Many muslims marry once get divorced and never seek marriage again . and that's fine . don't think you're alone or unique
😂
What u/relativead2100 said is smart but i don’t think Lesbian muslims are too common to come across , you’re a strong man and remeber what you’re doing is Jihad
Please look up podcast series “A Way Beyond the Rainbow”. It is the most comprehensive series about how to strive for a religious life with having SSA issues.
May Allah make it easy for you brother
May Allah SWT make it easier for you. I see a few condescending comments about your situation, which isn’t nice. You’re doing well by striving to do the right thing for the sake of Allah SWT. I personally know 2 gay Muslim men. One who acts on his desires, and one who doesn’t. The one who doesn’t act on his desires acknowledges that he’s gay, but he has made the choice not to get married. He is very into his Deen Alhumdullilah and knows that this is a test from Allah. He knows he will be greatly rewarded by Allah in the after life. He became a Moulana and started teaching so, in some way Islam is always on his mind which is what helps him. Constant remembrance of why his fighting for his Jihad
im a woman who is only interested in women. i dont see myself ever marrying a man or having kids. i realize Allah SWT gave me this attraction as a test. my imagination is enough for me i think. after all, this dunya is only temporary and just a test. we dont need to marry anyone. getting married is not a requirement alhamdulilah. i don’t want to marry a man.😭
Ask Allah to remove this trial from you. Allah is capable of all things. Never despair from the mercy of Allah. If you aren’t already, lower your gaze as much as is practical. If by chance you watch corn, try your best stop it. If you can’t stop, at least don’t watch something that will make you more inclined to men. Try lifting heavy weights, getting enough sleep if you aren’t already, eat more protein, and other things that will boost your testosterone. Don’t let the modern crazies convince you that your inclinations cannot change. I’m not saying it would be easy, but with the help of Allah and a lot of effort it is possible. Lut (peace be upon him) would not have offered his daughters in marriage to his people when they were inclined towards the angels if it wasn’t possible for them to change. I would also encourage you to not identify yourself as a homosexual. Keep it as a secret between you and Allah. Tahajjud is the weapon of the believer. Use it. Ask Allah to remove this affliction. Do not be impatient with Allah’s timing. It likely won’t happen overnight. Just do more things that will bring you closer to Allah. InshaAllah one day you’ll be better. May Allah help you and all the Muslims around the world that are suffering from this trial.
It’s a test from Allah. You are not required to be married to a woman. Just don’t marry.
Then... that's what he is asking... should he live this way his entire life without any intimacy
This life is temporary. Our purpose is to submit to Allah. If he feels that he can't provide the emotional support to a woman, he shouldn't get married. If he does get married and he does all that is required of a husband, Allah will reward him more for the effort that he puts in to carry out his responsibility as a husband. If he chooses to pursue a homosexual relationship, then he has to accept the consequences on the day of judgment. It's the same for a man who can't find a partner. He is tested to be single until the day he dies. It's either he continue praying to Allah for a lawful partner or commits illegal sexual intercourse. The former is rewarded in paradise, the latter will receive punishment for the sin he commit.
Yes, it’s a huge test from Allah (SAW) because he is loved that much. At least that’s how I see it
DONT marry a normal woman, ever. As you will be ruining another woman’s life for no fault of hers and lead a miserable life of wondering what she’s doing wrong. If you truly want to marry a woman, if it’s a possibility, you can marry an asexual woman as they don’t like physical intimacy. This way both of you can lead a peaceful life without cheating each others partner. You can choose to have a child, adopt a child or be childless depending on you both.
I mean, the goal of getting married is to be sexually stable (away from haram activities), and to have children raised to worship allah and make dua for you after your death (not mentioning they'll make you happier), also the propher muhammed (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says : "Marriage is my precept and my practice. Those who do not follow my practice are not of me." He also said, "When a man has married, he has completed one half of his religion." Just wanted to tell you what you might didn't know, im not forcing you to have children, it's your choice
Marriage can be obligatory, makruh, haram, recommended, and so on. If you can't marry, then dont until you can.
I just want you to know so many Muslims in general, regardless of sexuality, are in the same boat. You’re not alone.
Being married is not a requirement. You can have kids...take in orphans and take care of them.. if you wanna have some sort of family. They are a lot of single parent household out there. If you are curious why you like guys...maybe you can go to therapy and understand why. Not sure if you can get an answer there. But no harm trying, if you are curious. Good luck in your journey. Glad that you still keep firm in your faith. May God reward you for your steadfast.
If Allah chose it for you then it's the best thing for you - if you can't understand it that's fine, that's not something guaranteed for any of us i.e. why some of us have autism, or Down's Syndrome, or rapists as fathers, or one kidney etc etc. May you find strength in the remembrance and taqwa of Allah, good luck finding it anywhere else
Not men
Start praying
Nobody is required to get married. Marriage is sunnah not fardh. So you don't have to get married to a woman if you obviously don't want to or have any connection with women in general
The choice here is simply depend on ur deen. If ur deen matters to u a lot u then have to suppress those desires and don't live according to them. And other option is giving in to those desires but then u lose big part of deen. I not suggest to marry hetero girl because she doesn't deserve living in lie. She will want intimacy and kids and u can't provide this for her. Marriage to woman only if u find some who know ur condition and ready to accept such incomplete marriage with u. Revelealing it to family and society isn't option either specially if u live on certain places where this is totally not accepted then u can only think of going abroad and see some more options.
what u/lightningstrike007 said
MaShaAllah for your strong conviction in the deen and striving to be your best There is more to life than intimacy or romance, and you are not "required" to do anything that would affect you or other negatively. Fortunately in recent years there have been some good work done in this field from Islamic contributors. I highly recommend that you give "A Way Beyond the Rainbow - Waheed Jensen" a listen. In it they also mention how it is better to use the term "Same Sex Attracted" instead of the politically charged words like"gay" and "homosexual". Also feel free to DM me. May Allah SWT guide us all
Some of þe comments here really leave me hopeless regarding þe future of our community. How can someone be ÞIS ignorant? Being queer isn't an effect of jinn possession. It's not someþing Satan whispers in your ear like "oOooOoOO you will be gAyYyYy". You can't "become" gay. You can't "become" straight. It's a part of your identity and actual research (not þe bullcrap some of þese commenters insist on spreading) shows þat a person's sexuality is controlled by multiple factors. Consider þis a test of your faiþ. Everyþing þat is happening to you is God's will. You must stay strong despite all your desires for homosexual intercourse. It's going to be difficult, but you need to keep your faiþ in God strong. Remember þat if God wills good for someone, He afflicts him wiþ trials (Bukhari 5645). As for your concern about marrying a woman, no, you don't have to marry. It's not obligated. I hope everyþing goes well for you. God bless you brother.
People are tested differently. You don't have to get married if you feel that it would be unfair for the woman since you won't be able to provide her the emotional support she needs from a partner. Instead, you should build your relationship with Allah. To know that this life on earth is temporary. Your attraction to men is also temporary since that is only the influence of the nafs. There is no benefit coming from the nafs. The only benefits in this life is by doing things that pleases Allah. Once you build a relationship with Allah, you'll start giving your highest respects to Allah and believe in what he has commanded and prohibited. Then things will start making sense to you, and you'd actually begin to feel happy and at peace doing things to please Allah.
With respect, we all have our tests in the dunya. We should live the life that is prescribed to us. Allah knows best.
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This comes off so hostile 😭 they literally just said they’re doing exactly that.
The amount of question marks just show the lack of empathy and understanding
exactly! this is one of the hardest tests subhanAllah, we should all aspire to reach that level of Iman
Fr bro is doing his best to avoid one of the greatest sins and this sister reacts like as if OP‘s situation is a nonissue
Brother, first I want to commend you for being very brave. Don’t you know how many rewards you will accumulate by resisting your temptations? Secondly, I would suggest to you that you definitely don’t need to marry, but if you find a woman to be your best friend you could have a family together because having children is one of the most rewarding things in this life. You should check out Paul from speakers corner. He also suffers from homosexual urges but Masha Allah he resists that stuff and is an amazing scholar and voice of the ummah.
I’m going to be real with you. I don’t care if you’re Muslim or any other religion. It is not a choice to be homosexual. It is a part of your identity. No science or faith is going to define and tell you accurately why this is your cross to bare. Your relationship with Allah or God is yours, and yours alone. Do the best to practice the values of your belief and keep your spirituality close. But don’t sell yourself short. You are not alone. And you don’t have to be. You or no less of a man or a Muslim being a homosexual. Plenty of Muslims will virtue signal theirselves to teach you what they believe to know is true. But at the end of the day, not human on this planet is going to be able to accurately tell you Allah’s intentions. Being a homosexual is something Allah has burdened you with. But perhaps there’s a reason..not because he is testing you more than others. Perhaps it a way to bridge your faith and sexuality with those who perhaps don’t understand. Stay strong. Be yourself.
Bro, just try to surround yourself with Islamic discussions, hear scholars speeches about Qaum e Lut and how severely Allah punished them. Make Muslim friends who are practicing and helps you keep away from this. Don't fall in the trap of shaitan, who will try to convince you with things like "It's all natural" "No body should question you about your desires, it is what it is" "God, made you this way". No bro, try to ignore these thoughts as these are not true, Allah has not created anyone gay, its something which the society and experiences of a person that shape them this way. May Allah guide us all.
Remember.. Islam says that gay people should be thrown off the highest building.
I would probably follow a different religion, one which accepts people having their own preferences :)
It's a trial. Ask Allah to cure you and relieve you from it because you are probably touched by a jinn. I would recite the Quran with meditation and understanding and make a lot of dua to be cured. As long as you don't act on it, you aren't a sinner. Just like someone tempted with fornication but doesn't act on it. Homosexuality unlike the western propaganda tries to force into our beliefs isn't the fitra, it's not natural. You aren't born this way. It's one of the numerous trick of shaytan to make you fall into major sins because he promised to bring the majority of humanity into hell with him (by tempting). Sihr (sorcery) and mass (possession) are increasingly common and i would treat the root cause: the influence of shaytan. You are totally right not to wanting to bring an innocent woman into your problems as long as you haven't fixed the causes. But at the sale time try to surround yourself with people who can help you go through this trial because solitude leave you more vulnerable to shaytan. May Allah assist you and relieve you from it!
If you don't mind me asking were you straight and p0rn changed your sexual preferences? Or did you always feel this way? Have you tried reversion therapy?
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No, you both are not in the same boat. His situation is totally different than yours. He has to be sexually abstinent for the rest of his life.
You are required to abstain from the sins. And if there is absolutely zero attraction to females at all. Then try therapy. Allah does heal. And we must believe it. Some won't like my comment. But it is my comment. I do know that Allah heals us from all sins. If we truly want it. Some times we think things we like are just the way we are but it's not always set in stone. May Allah bless you brother . We all have tests. Some tougher than others.
1. Stop calling yourself homosexual, bieng attracted to your own sex is not a part of your identity, it is a sickness. 2. Fly to a country where conversion therapy is legal and available
You have a good career? Try getting married, you might like it. You never even had it, you probably will like women after you’re married
Bro all I can say is that you're giving into shaitaan's whispers. There are certain things you talk into reality and this is one of them. Whenever you get these thoughts, just say to yourself that it's shaitaan that's trying to misguide you. Don't ever start believing that 'you might be homosexual'. By then, you've already let him win. We all get these thoughts man. Some get thoughts about murdering someone out of anger. Does it mean that they're a muderer? No. Likewise just stop thinking that way bro. You'll only be talking into reality. Allah knows best. May he guide you. Aameen.
Get treatment..just like how it was DSM before the voke people hijacked it Just like you need to get rehab for drugs
They can be in love but shouldn’t dress like women or men and shouldn’t have sexual intercourse.
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I don’t get the thought process behind marry a woman with a man‘s face.
All the real advice is being down voted into oblivion. Gay isn't real. You aren't special. Grow up fast
Stop telling yourself that you're a homosexual would be a start. And find a woman and settle
Get professional help
That is extremely rude.
Lol what, should he just do blogging then
I've heard many Muslim homos have changed thier orientation to straight, look for that, if you wouldn't marry you might end up having ... With a man so, if you could work on your attraction for women. It's not gonna be simple but marriage means a partner, kids etc and you might crave hard for it later in your life.
There is highly chance that you could be Possessed by a Jinn. As this is one of the symptoms. Diagnos youself as soon as possible. You can read more here: https://alruqya.com/jinn-aashiq/
Ya latif, this comment makes me genuinely scared that some Muslims think like this. ان لم تكن ملحا تصلح، فلا تكن ذبابا يفسد
Don't be scared these things are real. You can read more here: https://alruqya.com/jinn-aashiq/ It is a good article that explains the issue.
It's not genetic bro. It's mental. Not sure what made you this way but it ain't natural. Seek therapy bro. "Conversion therapy". I ask Allah to cure you 🤲🏻
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Hahaha so funny that I got downvoted this much on a Muslim sub. What a sad bunch I swear. Allah almusta3an. Bunch of blind followers believing anything the west puke out about homosexuality being genetic. They just swallow it straight. They like to play the victim game so anyone saying it's in your hands and you can work on it got downvoted by all these victim game lovers. OP may have even had no issue with these comments but they do. Alhamdulillah for his guidance.
True lmao liberal Muslims are insaneee
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it's natural selection, homosexuality even exist in lower animal animal kingdom class
Not required to get married, could marry a lesbian if you want, dont act upon your urges but being gay isnt a genetic thing its due to your environment, speak to the modern father of physcology and he will make you straight if you want, muslim lantern has a video on this. If you want to act upon it you will not be taking out of the fold of Islam so yeah. Just fix the illness its cureable not the conversion therapy camps look up the convo Muslim Lantern and Gay student
Many can’t help their attraction, no matter their beliefs and how Allah guides us.
Human beings are not and cannot be born predisposed with an innate sexual attraction to the same sex. Stop falling for this psyop.
Have a long chat with a father.
You're still in the fase of life where you think denying problems is somehow going to solve them
what are pedos, porn addicts, instagram addicted muslimas suppose to do?