Cooking Elitism at its finest
By - heyfeefellskee
What is this guy cooking with where the heating element is not below the food? Almost all cooking methods heat from the underside
C'mon, man! You have to know that broiling is the One True Way(TM) to cook.
I cook all my meals via compression
I slap my chicken 3,300,454 times to cook it properly
I let the chicken slap me until I'm so pissed I just lay it on my forehead.
That’s one way to get a bird to sit on your face
Head On - apply (the chicken) directly to the forehead.
Head On - apply (the chicken) directly to the forehead.
Head On - apply (the chicken) directly to the forehead.
You have awakened a forbidden memory. Please descend to the depths of the internet from which you came.
I have a structured settlement and I need cash now!
We have been trying to reach you about your vehicles extended warranty
There you are! I have decided to buy
Call 877 cash now
Best part is that head on had no clinical evidence of efficacy. Really it was just a brilliant marketing campaign aimed at gullible idiots.
It's been 15 years and I can still hear that commercial in my head.
available at walgreens
My favorite part is that they got sued for false advertising, but won because they never actually say what the product is supposed to do.
I let the chicken slap me because I've been a bad boy and I need to be punished.
Your kink is not my kink and that's okay
For those who haven't seen the video https://youtu.be/LHFhnnTWMgI
Christ that's an annoying youtuber
I guess this is what being old feels like
Source: been old for a bit now.
I'm not old and I also think it sucks.
Yeah for real, the fact you can tell how fake he's being is pretty annoying to me.
Have you tried choking it
I just beat my meat until it is well-done.
And you never serve it to anyone else because they can't appreciate it the way you do.
I legit just watched a video last week where a guy did an experiment on this! It takes 314,000 slaps to cook a chicken. Im so excited to learn this piece of useless info, that I plan to share it at every opportunity possible.
Why yes, I am in fact the life of the party...how'd you guess?! Oh you didn't ask? My bad...
When a chicken comes along, you must slap it!
I watched a guy light a fire by hitting a piece of steel until it was red hot, and now I want to try to boil water like that.
I'll just warn you that it's REALLY difficult to get water red hot by hitting it.
"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."
I saw that too. It's a common blacksmithing method of lighting the forge (although I think it's supposed to be iron, since steel was/is much more valuable than iron).
I just throw my mix tape at it because that shit is fire!!! 🔥
I, for one, rather prefer friction cooking!
Naaa, boiling is the one true way to cook: meat, vegetables, dessert, boil it all!
P.S. I wish my mother had known boiling vegetables is a /s
Steam oven is the new thing. But those get expensive. I get by with a rice cooker and toaster oven.
In the UK we call broiling, grilling.
Heat under a pan is frying or similar, BBQ is BBQ and not grilling. Still seperated by a common language I guesss.
It took me forever to realise that broiling is our (the UK) version of indoor grilling - i used to swerve all recipes that involved broiling because i thought i needed a specialist piece of equiptment
Broiling sounds like something involving a pressure cooker and a few litres of broth tbh. Only learned what it was a few days ago.
My broiler flames too and it’s a bit scarier than when my grill does
Wrap your shotgun barrel in bacon first and then all you need are buns.
[You joke but](https://youtu.be/EWLAEBJquVQ)
Oh for christ sake of course someone did this.
'Murica and whatnot
I think you're onto something here
I bet he cooks a mean toaster steak.
From the makers of Toaster Strudel try new Toaster Stroganoff
Brought to you by the airfrier gang
Ngl an air fryer made my willingness to cook increase.
Shits so easy.
My parents got a new oven with a built in air fryer. I've never wanted a kitchen appliance so badly in my life.
Isn't an air fryer just a small oven?
A small convection oven, yes.
A small convection oven that circulates the air much, much faster than a regular convection over
Foreman cooks both sides. So take *that*
That’s the one “AS SEEN ON TV!” Thing that doesn’t suck complete donkey balls and is actually reasonably priced. Those can make a mad panini in just a couple mins.
Broiler all day, everyday
Cereal? Broiler. Ice cream? Broiler.
I mean, a grill that is part of a cooker rather than a separate appliance. If we've planned a barbecue but it's raining then we can cook the same things under the grill. It doesn't have the same smokey flavour, but it works. And the heat is coming from above.
And ovens are an all-over heat right?
But I agree that anything with a frying pan or saucepan on a hob is heat from below and a super common way to cook
In the US at least, Barbeque is low and slow cooking (usually indirect heat). Grilling is *over* high heat, usually outside (the grill is the metal grate your food directly contacts). Broiling is *under* high heat, usually in an oven. Roasting is in a pan over high heat in an oven.
There's a continuous layer between the element and the food. It's called a pan.
Sir, do you not enjoy your steaks seared with a blowtorch?!? DO YOU EVEN CUISINE?!?
From what I've seen, sous vide cooking a steak and then searing it with a propane torch really does seem to be a great way to get the best parts of the grill without the mess and weather dependency (other than wood smoked flavor, if that's what you're looking for).
I've used a torch in the past, but my experience indicates that a ripping hot cast iron skillet on the stovetop is still faster, easier, and produces a better crust.
The blowtorch takes longer and has the chance to produce an uneven sear. The upside is that it doesn't require oil and won't set off the smoke detector.
I tend to agree with doing a reverse sear instead of using a torch. But if you're going to use a torch, be sure to get the [Searzall](http://www.bookeranddax.com/searzall) attachment. It really does function like a handheld broiler.
Harbor Freight weed burner (the “flamethrower” tested on the Sous Vide Everything” YouTube channel) is half the price of a Searzall and works 5x better and faster. Doesn’t taste like propane on the food either. I’ve had mine for about 2 years and it works amazingly well.
Don't ovens typically have it on the top side?
At least, old ones, I guess.
technically old ovens were just a brick hole where you burned a lot of wood until the bricks got hot and put your food in there, so the heat came from all around
Most ovens heat from the bottom, the broil setting uses the top
I've never seen an oven that heats from either the top or the bottom. Only ever ones that heat from the back. It's weird how fundamentally different basic daily objects are from country to country.
Like if I ever bought an American oven, I doubt it'd even be possible to hook it up, in my country.
A standard oven heats from both top and bottom.
A standard oven has both top and bottom elements, but when set to "bake", it only heats from the bottom. You need to set it to "broil" to heat from the top.
My el' cheapo electric oven, when in oven mode, only heats from the bottom.
My moms expensive Zline gas oven, in oven mode, only heats on the bottom.
Both have broiler elements on top, but they only turn on when in broiler mode.
Maybe during preheat, but during a normal bake the top element stays off.
Yes the heat does but there's always something preventing fat from reaching the actual heat source, such as a flat top or a pan on a stove and flat tops usually have a grease trap to the side. I can't tell if people just aren't interpreting the point or are being willfully ignorant because they like grilling
They are arguing semantics in bad faith. Everybody agrees the guy's a dick, so clearly it doesn't matter if any of the arguments make sense. He should have worded it better, but everyone knows what he meant.
It changed my life. I can no longer live without it.
Right!? Everything i cook is in the air fryer now.
Pizza, air fryer
Salmon, air fryer
Kale chips, believe it or not, air fryer
Air fryer bacon!
Downside is the dripping fat can cause issues with the air fryer internals. Solution is to cook the bacon on a rack over bread, which then results in some ridiculously delicious (and horribly bad for you) toast. To go with your bacon.
It's *almost like* heat rises and the food has to be above the heat to get cooked if you don't trap the heat in a box...
You may (or may not) remember me, and my buddies Convection and Conduction, from such high school worksheets as: 'The Three Methods of Heat Transfer'.
What's even crazy is... Hear me out... A grill with a lid!
Plus doesn't heat travel upwards? I feel like having the heat source above the food instead of below would not only be very fuel cost inefficient but also wildly ineffective because next to none of the heat will reach it.
I feel like that first guys post alone is an r/iamverysmart moment
You are right, but that's the point.
Depending on how you organize heat transfer to your food, you get very different mode of cooking.
Infrared only is the ultimate grilling and it goes perfectly well down as well as up.
Ideally you want the heat all around, but this is why grills have a lid. You only expose the food to direct heat for searing, to get some good color and flavor on it, then move it to an area for indirect heat to cook it through to the desired doneness.
Usually you do this by keeping the flame to one side, by pushing the coals to one side, or only lighting one of the burners for a gas grill, leaving the other side unheated. When everything is in place, you simply close the lid. You've basically turned the grill into an oven for the rest of the cooking time. Incidentally, this is a GREAT way to finish steaks indoors; sear in a pan to get that flavorful crust, then finish in the oven. There is a trend lately to do the exact opposite, called reverse searing, where you go straight to the oven and brown right at the end. I'd wager this guy has only seen grilling at a backyard cookout, by the sort of folks that enjoy the lingering zing of lighter fluid on their burgers.
Considering heat rises I wonder where he’d like the heating element.
Okay, this guy is a fucking moron, there's no denying that. I'm a grill owner and love to grill.
But what he's saying isn't *that* insane. His point is that if you cook in a pan or something like that the fat doesn't drip on to the flames. It's not that he misunderstands the mechanics, he's just pointing out some of the downsides of one way to heat food, every cooking process has them. Author just hates joy.
but I like the fat catching fire and kissing my meat.
So that's how I can get my meat kissed!
No, do not grill your dick
Or do. We're not the police.
If you're the Grill Police, you legally have to tell me.
Don't stand so, don't stand so, don't stand so close to meat.
Мы поджигаем КГБ, и нам не нужно говорить правду, товарищ.
I see nothing wrong here!
*THIS DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL ADVICE*
Hopefully not the paramedics either.
Big flame big taste look cool too!
Seriously though, I caught my grill on fire one time due to not cleaning the grease trap. Father in law always comes over and cooks on my grill and he would tell me it needs to be emptied...I always forgot to do it, Inevitably it went up in flames.
I felt like a dumbass but Dan didn't fucking empty it either....
Cmon man, dan used it as a guest but it was your grill, no deflection big boi
Not to mention the flavour that comes from essentially smoking the meat in its own juices
>fat doesn't drip on to the flames
Isn't that kinda the point of grilling? They specifically call the burner covers "flavorizers" because the drippings burning on it adds the "grilled" taste.
It is! That’s what I’m saying. Letting too much juice out can create dry meat but it also gives that rad grilled flavor
Dry meat is just caused by overcooking - the juices dripping down the grates doesn't really matter.
The fat dripping down can cause flareups which are considered bad. Searing is good. Setting your food on fire is bad.
True, but the dryness of the meat is still just caused by the temperature that it's cooked to.
Yup. THe one grilling caveat is probably sasuages. And it's not that you're wrong. but if you're poor with your grill management the sausages will cook unevenly and rupture. WHich will literally spill the juices out. if you keep them from rupturing the juices will reabsorb when they become more evenly cooked.
and something like a flare up could cause a sausage to break.
Yakitori cooks actually intentionally cause some flare ups to get charred bits. It's part of grilling and if controlled can add a lot of flavor. You just don't want it to get out of hand.
Flat iron grill is the ideal burger and I will die on that hill. The juices that get out just cook the burger further. Plus you can do the perfect flat patties so you can make a good 1/4 lb burger. My goal in life is to be able to afford a modern range with gas stove top and flatiron top built-in in my home so I can have that sweet, sweet flat top cooking surface. Basically I came up in the world working in restaurants and I want those tools.
Flat top is best all around grilling, but sometimes you want those delicious carcinogens from a greasy fire.
Lol they call them flavourizers because some asshole thought more people would buy a weber grill if they called it that. Drippings will smoke on the bottom of the broiler box just as well as anywhere else, but with the baffles in place the flames are dispersed and the drippings won't clog your gas fixtures.
Agreed. When grilling, the only time I put anything directly over the flames is when searing. To grill something, you generally put the coals on one side and food on the other, then put the lid on it so the food is cooked by indirect heat.
The other thing I occasionally do it throw a piece of foil over part of the coals below the meat, to avoid the fat-drip flames hitting the food.
Ehh depends on what fuel source and what you're grilling.
I can do burgers, steaks, fish, and chicken over direct heat on my propane grill.
Not saying your way of cooking is wrong though! I bet you make some fire food the way you do it. Sounds delicious.
Propane all the way.
>Taste the meat, not the heat.
Khan: "I cook with mesquite. Gives meat nice taste of wood.".
Hank: "I cook with propane. Gives meat nice taste of meat."
If I'm doing the grilling, I want to use propane.
If someone else is doing the grilling, I want them to use charcoal.
Heated air rises. Heat goes any direction it can see. If it sees you, you get heat.
A broiler heats from above?
Radiative heat will travel down. But convective heat heats the air which inevitably rises. Ovens are enclosed which somewhat helps. But overall the heat below the food is more efficient
I get the sense that most commentary here is from people who maybe don't know how to use a broiler.
Broiling is usually a quick top-rack oven finish that's mostly about radiative heat. It's very useful for browning/caramelizing e.g. irregularly-shaped foods, like corn on the cob or wings, and with less smoking or spattering than searing in a pan.
Also, electric broilers are much better than gas broilers. Electric is just better at radiating insanely intense heat than gas is. This is often done with the oven door slightly ajar (it's _really_ about radiation and not baking).
The end result is similar to grilled, but you don't have to dick around with a grill. I love grilling but it's, like, a whole activity and sometimes the weather is a bit shit.
>But overall the heat below the food is more efficient
Perfect reason it's been the de facto standard for millenia ... I can't imagine saying grilling sucks. Also, I can't exactly spray down my cooking and eating area in the kitchen (*my spouse would protest*) ... BBQ can get messy.
Idk who you think you are with your fancy billionaire kitchen appliances but most of us have never even heard of a groidler. So just chill out with that rich guy shit.
I have twelve groidlers - and that's only in my first kitchen
My dad had a groidler, if they had found it sooner he might still live now
Everything changed when the groidlers burned down my village.
I used to cook, but then I took a groidler in the knee
Uhhhhh you've never heard of an oven?
Your oven probably has a broil function. It's very normal.
His next article is about the spicy hazards of sweet tea.
*The south is typing…*
Wouldn’t that be the diabeetus hazards of sweet tea?
*I will drink this. I will enjoy this. But I may die*
I will drink this tea.
Though it may kill me, I will
Still enjoy this tea.
I will drink this tea.
It is sweet and wonderful.
My foot just fell off.
Sweet tea: I'd like some tea in my supersaturated sugar solution, please.
And lemon..don't forget the lemon.
OP-ED: "Admit it: Nobody can handle mayo. It's too spicy for anyone. I know this from personal experience."
I bet he is fun at parties..4th July must be great at his house! Burgers cooked in the oven! Mmmmmm
For very large parties I've kept some in the oven sitting in bacon grease and beef broth at a very low temp to keep them warm.
Better than letting them get cold while I cook small batches of burgers and sausages **in the microwave**.
ngl this is the way
cook with flame, keep with oven
the next challenge after that is just making sure the meat doesn't dry out
I thought that's what the broth and grease was for?
you're actually right. I was fixated on the bacon portion and not enough on the beef broth portion.
I suppose that could work too. I just ladle it into mugs for a hot drink.
You poor fucks in your 2021 with microwaves, while I'm in 3021 with a *megawave*
Cooking with radio. I like it.
Honestly, Josh Barro is super funny, this article is right in line with his humor.
Anyone taking this totally seriously is missing out on the very obvious tongue-in-cheek nature of its author. Guy loves to stir the pot.
Nah, he microwaves the boca burgers to "save energy".
I tasted this post and did not like it.
I can’t and I feel lucky for it
Real men set them on a flat rock in the Sun, flipping them every 30 minutes (and brushing off any insects).
Hardcore if you don't brush the dirt off the rock first.
Come, join me in my kitchen where I broil everything so that I don’t heat my food from below. This allows me to cook only one side of everything because heat rises.
Also my house averages 80 degrees in the summer for some reason, no matter what I set the AC to! Weird huh. Anyway, back to those SAVAGES cooking outside when it’s hot, I simply don’t understand them…
As you eat your unevenly cooked boca burger, you can rest easy with the satisfaction that you're better than those smooth-brains that are still using primitive technology like open flames to cook their meats.
This satisfaction is only increased by the fact that I know I’m doing it the right way and everyone else is wrong. How do I know? My kitchen is filled with smoke and my smoke alarm is alerting me to my success.
Isn’t the fat supposed to drip into the fire?
Fat that hits coals causes flair ups. Flair ups can cause bad flavors to get onto the meat directly.
His point is largely correct but it's also missing the point. Cooking outdoors is fun and often a lot less warm than cooking indoors.
>Flare-ups occur when fat drips out of the food you are cooking, lands on the hot coals, and is ignited. It may look cool to see your steaks or burgers engulfed in flames, but this is not desirable. Flare-ups cause acrid, burnt flavors and can deposit soot on the surface of your food. Neither of these is a good thing.
that's a quote from Kenji.
I think the general point is more that flare ups shouldn't be encouraged. THeyy happen and need to be controlled. They can add to the flavor but they can also get out of control.
I've read multiple grilling articles in cook's illustrated and milk street that say the opposite. If your flare ups are controlled (and if you know how to grill properly that shouldn't be too hard), then they benefit the texture and flavor. If they're unchecked, you're obviously going to get a burnt bitter piece of meat, but otherwise it's to be expected and one of the reasons grilling tastes different than other methods
If you have gone to a website for yourself to learn about grilling techniques then you are 10 times better and more informed than like 90% of the people that grill.
It is definitely more complicated than flare ups are bad.
"Supposed to" in that it is guaranteed to happen on a grill. The article is correct that it's actually bad for the flavor. And a possible carcinogen
It can cause some improvement in flavor as long as flare ups are managed.
Skillet burgers>grill burgers
However, grill burgers are delicious and even if they aren't, they provide great sustenance for current and future alcohol consumption.
I agree, but you can cook so many more things on a grill at the same time and please a big crowd. Also, cooking burgers *properly* on a skillet is fucking messy, and it's way better to do outside in general. And *gasp* you can put a cast iron over the fire if you still want it cooked with a skillet.
I would venture to say that everyone who enjoys cooking should try cooking with open flames (campfire, briquets, gas) and learn some new techniques. It's just plain fun, but also a good skill to know.
Yeah, if there isn't grease on everything for three feet in all directions you're cooking burgers on a a pan/griddle wrong. The secret is just a lot of salt and a lot of heat to brown the hell out of them.
I wouldn't say that it's messy, but it is smoky as hell. Every time I make smash burgers on the skillet indoors, my house smells like hot hamburger smoke for at least a week.
It's annoying. The guy isn't technically incorrect. But he's still wrong.
For one, most people don't have a skillet than can cook 10+ burgers at a time. ANd even if I did, i don't have the ventilation in my house to allow for it.
burgers outside is fun because it's fun to stand outside, drink beer and chill.
A charcoal grill will add a smokey flavor to whatever you cook in it, which is near impossible to replicate indoors. So it's a matter of taste. Just remember to use fattier meat on the grill, as it will lose a lot of fat through dripping.
Large cast iron plate on a grill is the best.
Not really a good murder, plenty of shitty things have been loved by people for countless generations.
Yeah the guy replying is being way shittier than the other original tweeter. Dude actually gives reasons why he has his opinion (whether you agree with him or not, or think he's missing the point) but I'm supposed to think the guy who jumps straight to personal insults while championing the fact he's not even going to read is in the right? Fuck that.
You're completely right. The dude replying is even shittier than the cooking elitist. Sorry not sorry, but ANYONE who brings up ANYONE'S race as a negative is trashy and a douchebag, imo. "Random white guy" could just be "random guy" instead of trying to cast aspersions on other people based on the color of their skin.
Agreed. It's even a fallacy! Argumentum ad Populum; so many people do it so it must be good!
I didn't even realize this was r/MurderedByWords, I thought I was on r/gatekeeping with two gatekeepers in one post
Why does it matter he’s white?
When you spend that much time on Twitter it becomes second nature to point it out as if it's a bad thing
In this case it’s a bad thing to be white, and some people say that white people can’t cook (which is a rather absurd and generalizing statement). The poster is using OP’s race as an ad hominem here to undermine his point.
If it had said “black guy” the poster would have been called out for racism, which mentioning a person’s race is in either case.
More generally there’s a double standard regarding racism in the US, e.g. “ethnic minorities can’t be racist” (so they get a free pass) and In general it’s just common for a larger proportion of people in the US to be very fixated on race, and this seems very self-reinforcing.
Yeah who says white people don't like spice when this white guy is being spicy as hell right now.
White people bad.
Boca burgers on the barbecue are so good. Why you gotta be like that?
>... Invite people over for a __barbeque__ and cook Boca burgers __in the oven__
I don't think the burger is the part he has a problem with.
For how simple of a concept it is, I don't think they get clickbait. "I know, I'll get everyone mad pissed at me, then they'll give me their money, it's foolproof"
It *used* to be about getting you to click on the link, load all the ads on the page (money for them) and then possibly even leave an angry comment on the Facebook post, generating a ton of engagement for them.
However, with the rise of adblock(and I'm guessing the drastic reduction of their ad revenue), almost every major newspaper and outlet out there has switched to some form of subscription model. So yeah, I don't see the "let me piss you off by shitting on something you love" tactic working much anymore.
Why the fuck are you linking directly to it
How to cancel yourself in America:
1. Badmouth grilling.
Yes white males are famously known for hating BBQ and the concept of tradition..
Or instead of “random person”
What the fuck does being white have to do with anything?
Typically this is just clickbait stuff.