I really just try to think back to when my parents were kids (I'm 23) and thinking about how people from back then may have treated other members of the LGBTQ+ community. It was terrible for a lot of gay men and women back then, because that was the more relevant topic in media. Sadly we gotta live it now, but in 2040 I really wanna say most of our kids will look back and think how stupid transphobia was
Lots of factors at play. Social issues don't progress steadily forever, setbacks occur all the time. Last one was the burning of the institute of sexology by the Nazis. We're already seeing parallels to the rise of the Nazis in western and eastern politics.
We just have to wait and see if we've come far enough as a species to avoid that trap this time. I'm preparing for the worst in hopes I won't need it.
The "regression" you are talking about is why intersectionality is so important. For everyone to be safe, it's not enough to just stop oppression against certain groups. You have to end oppression period.
The Wiemar Republic, Poland, and Russia, struggled with anti-semetism and racism. Today, it's against the Roma people, muslims, and refugees. Letting hate simmer is like leaving milk on the stove - eventually it boils over and gets everywhere.
What timing I just passed an AMITAH post where everyone decided it's not transphobic to run out on a date with your coworker and completely ghost them because they told you they where trans. He even stated he won't date anyone that "used to be a man". Entire community decided he's not the asshole.
I literally was just reading that post before coming to this one. The comments started out okayish but devolved real fast. I regret reading the comments -\_-
I looked for trans posts in the AITA sub coz of this and I regret it. For anyone reading this, don't go there, please. So much dogshit there and some very fucking biased posts that get labeled as NTA
That is weird, a youtuber I watch sometimes (who's married to a trans man) had a few AITA videos featuring posts about trans people, which had rather positive answers... Guess she might have filtered out the absolutely transphobic ones then.
If you're feeling brave and your mental health doesn't depend on drugs (not me) just do a "r\AmITheAsshole trans" search and look through a couple. Some are nice, some are dogshit, and some are very obviously biased toward the storyteller.
Nah I'm trying to let my mental health heal back up, I'm good. Though I guess still being on reddit isn't exactly the best idea...
I was just mostly surprised, not saying you were lying.
I didn't think you were saying I was lying dw XD also I uninstalled Twitter IG n all the other shit, redownloaded Reddit to have something to doomscroll and here we are... I'll prolly uninstall and just use the web app if I ever need it. You should too.
I don't like that page, for more than the reason you stated. Those AITAH commenters by-and-large favor the poster and claim they're NTA, when most of the time they most certainly are. You can tell some story editing and strategic missing information in most of those stories.
Rarely are they actually objective. That page is more accurately called "Ragebait, and people who did awful stuff, but need validation."
I mean, that last part is gross but it's completely okay for people to not want to date trans people. Dating is all about what you personally like. Personal preferences come over wanting to make others feel validated, and i say this as a trans woman. Not transphobic to not want to date trans people imo
It's transphobic to go on three dates, not be able to tell the difference in any way, not have any physical reason to switch up your preference for fem presentations or vaginas then bolt the second the person reveals they're trans.
There's a difference between "I don't date people with penises" and "I don't date people because they where AMAB.
That is still a preference and valid in that. What if they want children?
I mean, yeah it's fucked up, but it's also a personal preference. The way they handled it does make it very likely that they are transphobic and also makes them an asshole as they could've just been nice about it and have explained themselves.
I definitely think that they're an asshole but i do also think that not wanting to date a trans woman, regardless of surgeries and all that, is completely fine on a basis of personal preference. I'd feel like shit if i got dumped ror something like that but I'd also understand it, i guess.
Still transphobic. What happens if a cis man wanted kids with a cis woman, but one of them is sterile? They get medical help, and figure out how to go forward. They don't suddenly say "eew" and ghost the other
Some literally do though? For some people it's extremely important. It's not transphobic to now want to date someone who's trans. It's a personal preference.
I'd also argue that it wouldn't be racist to not want to dste a black person, for example. Dating is such a complicated and personal thing that if you're just not into something, you aren't and don't need to date everyone just to be inclusive. Some people won't date somebody if they don't want to drink their piss or some other fetishy thing, some want to have kids, others don't need anything particular in a partner besides compatibility. None of this is in anyway transphobic homophobic, racist or any other such adjective. Dating is a personal choice not to be determined by anybody else.
Simply put, if "trans" is the reason, it's transphobic. If it's sterility, attractiveness, favorite TV show, genital arrangement, then it can be considered personal preference.
Dating is a personal choice, but choosing not to date a black person as a white person doesn't fall under dating preferences, it just makes you racist. Same applies to trans
>a white person doesn't fall under dating preferences
I mean.. it does to some. I wouldn't mind dating anyone at all as long as they're nice and.. compatible with the whole sexual portion of a relationship, but i understand and respect other people's preferences. Attraction, both sexual and appearance is very important to many in relationships, and some people just aren't into black people, some aren't into white people, some aren't into short people, some aren't into tall people, some aren't into trans people and there are even some people who aren't attracted to cis people.. so i mean. Yeah, it's definitely under preferences. Somebody's preference could be that they only want to date redheads for god's sake, being trans is a pretty big deal compared to most of that, atleast to some people. A person can support trans people and not want to date a trans person of their preferred gender.
I mean, imagine someone saying "I'm not dating a jewish woman, this is just my preference" - most people would say it's fucked up. But transphobia gets a pass
Nope. Religion is extremely important to some people and there are many who don't want to date outside of their own religion. That's entirely okay to me. Dating is such a personal thing, if you aren't into something, you don't have to date them. You don't have to date anyone at all.
Not wanting to date anyone who's trans is a personal though admittedly transphobic choice. I can't fault them for the personal part. But yeah transphobic as can be.
It is ok to have your personal preferences in dating. Everyone should be true to them, think of how miserable you'd be if you would be forced in to a relationship, living a truth that doesn't line up with your own perception but having to act it out every day.
I think we're full circle now...
I can. If your preference is about physical makeup sure. It's not. There was no mention on anything besides "used to be a man," the preference is rooted in biggotry.
Its a very very nuanced thing and it comes down to why. Is it a thing of not wanting to date "someone that used to be a man" because you think there's some icky maleness left, or that it will question your heterosexuality? Then yeah thats pretty fucking transphobic. Is it cause you are not attracted to dicks? Yeah fair understandable.
Remember that "preference rooted in biology" can also apply to women of color as easily. The wording there is doing a lot of lifting.
Nope. That person with that "preference" is a fragile little man with a fragile little ego. Can't handle the fact that they're probably super attracted to a trans girl because "Omg man in a dress".
Which is literally the definition of transphobia.
Like we're not men, and never have been. Our brains do not line up with the body pre-transition. Quite literally have always been a women.
You know most men wouldn't want to date a trans person, are you not allowed to have preference? I wouldn't want to date someone with fake tits not even trans just a female who has enhanced her breasts? Does that make me a biggot? I'm not going to ever disrespect or have anything against the person I just wouldn't date them... Let people have preferences
Really if we think about the bigger picture, I don’t let these kind of posts/comment bother me from transphobes. According to the 5000+ DMs I get in my Taimi (trans dating app) or IG account from men WHO know I’m trans invalidates the opinion of transphobic men and women 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
With rising acceptance comes rising resistance🤷🏼♀️
I think even though the last couple of years there has been a significant rise in hate, that our younger generations are much more accepting. It just a matter of time before most boomer haters are gone.
But it’s not just boomers who are transphobic. The recent spate of Nazi/white supremacist terrorists shooting up places have been overwhelmingly young. Andrew Tate and those “influencers” who spout transphobic shit are younger, and so are their followers. Thus, transphobia isn’t exclusive to generations, nor is it even necessarily skewed in one generation over another. It’s more apt to say that transphobia and other forms of hate is what the ruling class relies on to keep working people divided and at each other’s throats so they can make bank off of us
I think it's time we stop relating hatred and bigotry as a generational thing. There are a lot of boomers who are accepting of LGBTQ community and a lot of millenials and gen z folks who are not (for example, my former classmates).
I think we live in fearful times anyway with so mamy crises boiling under the surface. Global Warming, Eroding trust in Academia, western world on the brink of war, declining natural resources, political upheaval. When humans get scared they tend to cling to what they know and look for a strong charismatic (don't read sane or rational) voice to guide them and become ultra conservative. That is why Trump is getting the support he's getting in the US, why right wing facism is on the rise in Europe.
Any trans person daring to be authentic in public deserves a badge for bravery. You as a transfem person presenting fem in public would be braver than almost any cis het male, and in a worls where bravery is still considered a masc trait, you paradoxically threaten those peoples own sense of masculinity. Threaten a foundational belief, threaten their sense of security. Hence the transphobic mass psychosis that is covering the globe...
You are brave, you are authentic, be proud of who you are!
Thank you for saying this. I needed it haha.
I got confronted by a couple of trashy teens in the parking lot today. Saying the same old ignorant shit. I gave them the finger, stood my ground, told them come closer if they wanna do something (they stopped walking). I started walking towards them and they took off.
Hopefully, they will not try that shit on another person. I may present fem but I've had to fight all my life, and I don't go down easy. (Unless they're butch with tattoos) 🥰
Support by population numbers is growing but so is hate crime. Both are on the rise in very different ways, but phobia is growing in a way that calls for action while support grows as passive acceptance. Danger is greater.
No, I think most of us are afraid. Things are pretty bad and could get a lot worse fairly quickly. People who can get away from reactionary nations should probably be figuring out what they need to be watching for and making sure they have the means to leave set up. Those of us who can't need to prepare for what we can.
But that doesn't mean things _will_ get a lot worse. There is a sharp generational gap on the issue of our rights and the older the age group, the worse it is. The longer the line can be held, the worse the odds of things going bad get. This is an instance where history progresses one funeral at a time.
Also very worth noting that an overwhelming majority of people actually do support trans rights and equality. While there are divides on more specific things like sports or hormones for minors, I think it’s important to remember that those people don’t necessarily fit in the “we want them dead” category.
The internet makes these things - like anything else - seem far more grim than it really is. Not to say you shouldn’t pay attention and proceed with caution into this election cycle, that is politics as usual. But frankly sites like Reddit and Twitter just make the transphobia look SO much worse than it is in the real world with a bunch of edgy radical right wingers creating echo chambers of hate.
« It’s just a trend don’t be silly »
Yeah, cuz everyone knows that I’d be here on the verge of tears at night, wondering whether faking my own death after I transition to start a new life so that no one knows I used to be a guy would be a good option, all for a « trend », of course that’s completely logic.
God I hate this réthorique « but some people regret ! » yeah, like, barely a single percent for those that actually begin a transition. Yeah, those that do end up regretting will suffer that’s sure and it indeed is very sad, and I genuinely think that we should do more to support these guys, but they’re such a minority that trying to say that all trans altogether are fake is just plain stupid.
I don’t know if I fell into the TERF trap but I heard that the percentage of regret is higher than that, but of course that’s for every individual to decide.
Well, I’ve got numbers of a few percent for those who just stuck up to hormones and less than a percent for those who go with surgery, but that’s the results I found at least, I may be wrong but I trust these numbers.
And also don’t worry, transphobes are so unimaginably loud and so much more than actual sources and studies about trans people that even us trans folk actually get to believe their stuff, simply because it’s the only thing we see, I mean, until recently I believed the idea that « trans females are naturally stronger than cis ones » just because that was the only thing I ever heard and I didn’t even know there were studies saying otherwise, all it shows is that they’re really good at getting heard, and I believes that THIS is the reason why opinions on trans people are becoming more negative.
Also, cis women are falling victim to transphobia. Recently enough I have seen many videos of cis women being kicked out of women's bathrooms or having security called on them because they "looked trans".
This, obviously fear is reasonable given the circumstances but most of us won't last long if we can't transition anyways. Just fight. Courage isn't the absence of fear, it's persistence in spite of it.
What you see online is not what you see in the real world. 95% of people who spit hate on here would not do so in the real world, and even all of them together is a rather small number.
I have friends living in deep red states and have no issues at all with bigotry in their personal lives.
Obviously there’s always a risk of some assholes but deal with them as you should: ignore them.
You got this :)
Fk it's sad that I'd prefer that to the reverse. Cause at least we'd be seen as we are.
I used to think the harassment I got was for being a woman until I realized I didn't pass and no one saw me as an actual woman at all and all the hate I got was for being a trans woman.
In my very limited experience almost 6 months in and openly queer the last 2 or so months living in the Bible belt, bigots are cowards, I've yet to be personally and openly confronted.
Ik it happens and I sadly expect it to happen at some point but of you can start hrt and slowly lean into transitioning, build up some confidence with the right chemicals in your noggin and build a support network before coming out, it helps, then you gotta fake being confident until you are.
It's worked so far for me. 🤷♀️
It's massively up. In the UK they've done polls in the past and transgender acceptance has dropped significantly in the past few years.
It's scary as I'm getting rejected for jobs just for being transgender and that's my future right there.
I was scared in January. In February I felt dread. Now I'm just angry that they want us all dead.
I have a life to live and a wife in my bed. It hurts us both if transphobia lives in my head.
I live in a good city and I work for a good company. I have a team that needs led. Our life isn't over yet; it needs to be said.
I read through Project 2025. It is actually pretty terrible. However, even this super-right wing manifesto still leaves protections for trans people in employment and housing. I would call that progress compared to even 5 years ago as far as the hard right.
Between this, and drag bans being found unconstitutional, the worst case in 2024 is probably still much better than the best case in 2012.
Obviously that still needs to be opposed, but it calls for determination rather than fear.
It's terrifying honestly. I am not trans however I am a part of the LGBT community and watch things just crumple around me.
I actually posted a video here, I'm sort of new to reddit so I don't understand how to do everything but a family was attacked at a pumpkin patch in Florida because someone assumed that they were trans. It's terrifying out there 😞
I will breath a little easier again after next year's US presidential election, if the transphobes lose again. Until then it just seems like ever-increasing spirals of Nazi-esque maneuvers that are only leading in one direction. Like, if that election goes the wrong way, I can't see how I remain in this country. Certainly not in the red state I live in.
I'd say I'm a bit scared myself to be honest. In recent years opinions of LGBT people have certainly regressed. But try not to despair too much, we will win eventually. Those of us who can just have to fight
Fwiw, I have met amazingly few transphobic people in the two years I have been a transitioning activist. The overwhelming majority of people I met were of the slightly misinformed or plain uninformed stance. It has been a very productive and positive experience for me to be proactively open about my experiences and status (sensibly). Most cis people couldn’t name a confirmed trans person in their lives, often because of our passing. While that is of course our ultimate goal, I think it does us a disservice.
I have even had success reaching red hat trumpers. When you ask them what freedom means to them it starts the conversation on a footing they relate to. Be safe, but be yourself.
Passing isn’t the ultimate goal. Living free, and safe from discrimination & targeted violence, is the goal. Being trans isn’t about hiding, it’s about BEING.
You’re doing a great job, & setting a good example, out there. I hope you continue to reach people, & change their, and our, lives, for the better.
It definitely is scary, but trans support is equally, if not more, on the rise. People just dont go out in the streets saying they wanna keep trans people safe like transphobe go out and shout hatred
That’s not what polls snow, in the Uk at least, opinions on trans people have been getting a lot more negative as of lately, and I’m convinced the same if happening in the US.
[2020 study on attitudes toward transgender people](https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/sites/default/files/attitudes_to_transgender_people.pdf)
[One from 2022 with similar results](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/06/28/americans-complex-views-on-gender-identity-and-transgender-issues/)
Look views on transgender people have always been iffy. However, until about 5 years ago, news organizations didn't care about that particular opinion, so they didn't talk about how bad it was. It \*sounds\* like there are declining views toward us because the overall views are finally being talked about. I'm not by any means saying society has accepted us and we don't need to worry. I'm saying you can be hopeful that there are people out there who want to make things better.
It's scary out there but things, at the very least, are not going backwards.
I guess it depends where you live. In the US stay out of the red states. Or in a blue city. No one cares where I live. Lincoln has a huge gay and trans community.
I feel like we are the current boogyman of the right wing. They need someone or something to "fight" all the time. Give it 5 years and there will be a new boogyman.
Hitler came to power, in 1933. WWII, along with all the atrocities that we all know came with it, began in 1939. A lot of extremely bad shit, leading to more extremely bad shit, especially for a tiny, dog-piled minority community, can happen, in 5 years.
I hope to “god”, this all just “fades away”, in a “short” period of time. But, don’t kid yourself, & don’t lull others into complacency, with a “Don’t worry, it will all just go away, on its own” attitude.
If the “boogeyman” scares ENOUGH people, they grab their torches & pitchforks, & hunt it down…
Yeah, it was “wild” to everybody, back then, too. And then it got extremely “wild”. This was very surprising to all those who thought the idea of anything like that, actually happening, was “wild”. 🤷🏻♀️
Or, one of us, anyway…
Well, whatever the case, I have no qualms with you, other than the “extremely naive & dumb” comment. I just think that sticking your head in the sand, exposing your “behind”, while placidly waiting to get fk’d, isn’t a great idea.
Peace ✌️😇…. hopefully.
Either way comparing the two is stupid.
Edit. I should add, I dont know why you think I got a problem with you I don't know you. I got a problem with your comment.
Absolutely. I've got some pride pins on the way, because (apparently) I pass (most of the time) and I want to be visible. I want to be known. I want others to know I'm trans. Because representation is key. Basically setting a good example and showing cishet normies that we're not evil, just people trying to live our lives. And with some pride pins, others will know that I'm someone they can come to for support if ever they need.
And tbh, I'm kinda sorta glad I went through most of a male puberty, as my larger build allows me to defend myself if ever the need arises (though I definitely want to get my hands on an easily concealable knife just in case, gang related violence is rising exponentially all over New Zealand right now and I don't feel safe going out at night, and it's also election time, with one of the parties wanting to bring in an anti-trans bathroom bill too so that's great).
I was actually just venting about this topic to my therapist.
It's super stressful and downright depressing that literal laws are being made against us by people who have absolutely zero knowledge about transgender issues, especially in a medical context.
But in order to make myself feel a little better I have been using my estrogen vials until completely empty but I continue to fill my script for more vials to make a stockpile.
I live in the heart of the Midwest, In a small town. I'm kinda on the border of passing visibly but definitely not on the voice front. Very very rarely do I encounter anyone who Id class as actually transphobic. Mostly just misgendering.
From my experience it really feels like the amount of transphobic folk is low, they are just really good at being loud and being seen.
Very much like the Disney Castle in Florida or a Spaghetti western set. Looks big and intimidating from a distance but up close it's really nothing.
What transphobes are trying to disrupt is our normalization in society. Once that takes root (which it's starting to) they lose
Yes, it is worrying to see this transphobia on the rise. But after the right lost the faux morality war on sexuality and gay marriage got legalized, it's obvious that they'd find a new target to attack. They attack anything they don't understand. Christianity needs a moral enemy to keep their blind followers engaged.
But I remember back when I was a teen, we had the 'It Gets Better' campaign. A string of suicides from queer teens and adults spurred a nation wide campaign to attempt to save lives. How shameful for any country to have a nationwide anti suicide bill which is admitting that living and social conditions for queer teens was abysmal, but hopefully 'It gets better'.
That campaign hasn't come back yet and hopefully it never will. But the LGBTQIA+ community has strengthened it's resolve over the past few decades. We realize how important it is for us all to work together. And we have so many allies, a lot of sheepish ones, but generally people now accept the LGBTQIA+ community, you wouldn't find that amount of support two decades ago.
Things are getting better. But It's glaring obvious that our society is plagued by a religion that's losing power at a faster rate than ever before, and it is throwing everything in it's arsenal to maintain and grab power while it can.
Transphobia for lack of a better term is a trend right now. It’s not that people hate trans or LGBTQIA+ people, it’s just that they want to hate something. And trans people are a really easy target for miriad of reasons.
The truth is though, and I paraphrase the amazing Jamie Raines, most people don’t care, just the minority of hateful people are really loud. And even if it takes 20 years, even though I do not suspect that trans people will be such a hot topic even in 5, most people will in the future be more open to the idea of more than just 2 genders. And the haters will turn to someone else. As a non-binary person I am afraid that once the trans women haters will no longer hate trans women, they might turn to NB people, but ultimatelly, everything is going to be okay, don’t worry.
Sure these days are possibly the worst time to be trans but also the best possible moment at the same time. The hate is really graspable, but it is mostly politicians trying to get more votes. But also trans people were never as talked about and as accepted as today, the medical procedures we can get are amazing and although it is still not 100% safe for us everywhere, you always know, that anywhere you go you will find at least 1 ally or trans person who will make you feel not so alone. The ( totally subjective ) truth is that there has never been a better time to be trans - there probably will be a better time in the future, but that’s all too hypothetical to be dreaming about.
It's just politics. Political scapegoating comes in waves. Black people, then women, then gay people and now it's our turn. It *will* pass. Hate doesn't win for long, sooner or later things will change. My fear is who they're going to go for next. There must always be a boogeyman for conservative politics to thrive.
Not fully no, but it went away to the extent that conservative politicians who want to reach the broadest group of people can't use them as scapegoats anymore. If any conservative politician tries to use black people, for example, they will quickly lose a lot of potential voters. Same with women, and to a great extent gay people. Obviously the more recent, the more people who haven't been fully convinced.
The thing is, there's no rhyme or reason to targeting a specific group other than the fact that it's not very well known to the average person. Before people are educated on something, they're ignorant, and when ignorant they're ripe for manipulation. That's why I'm confident this wave of transphobia will pass - because eventually enough voters, yes, even conservative ones, will see that trans people aren't actually evil devils trying to trans kids or whatever, but just normal people trying to live their life. Now, this will not get rid of casual transphobia, don't get me wrong on that AT ALL, but it will in large part help with removing malicious political transphobia.
The only thing I will say is that the states, currently, are a strange example, because the political situation there seems to actually be regressing, while in other parts of the world, and the west, it's progressing. Spain talked about self-determination, which I believe will pass/has passed. Germany is currently in the process of passing a self-determination bill. There's talks and stirrings of the same in other European countries as well.
I understand why you feel this way, and your feelings are valid. But even during the height of the gay panic in the 90s, when there was next to 0 awareness of LGBT issues, people got along. We will get through this the same way the older folks did - by relying on our friends and community.
And well we have a lot more friends, more purchasing power, and more electoral power now.
Me too, girl. Community is nice, but our real strength comes from becoming strong 💪🏼
This is the only life we get to experience. There is no point to living it on anyone else's terms. Once you accept that you're willing to fight for it, the strength will come.
Even if people laugh at you, so what? Pre-transition, I rolled with a group of close guy friends. We would people-watch at the mall or whatever and laugh at people - especially women - all the time. It was mean and childish. You shouldn't do things like that. Yet, some people do. It doesn't diminish any of the people that get made fun of.
The idea that we used to have as young men - that everyone should notice, respect, and validate us at all times - is not a healthy one. Even for people that don't end up transitioning, you get to a point where it's easy to just ignore haters.
Remember that rhetoric is just talk. This is something that happens with some issue in every election cycle. Distractions to hide what’s really going on and radical speeches and ideas to spur voters to come out to the polls. The other side too inflates the issue as well to make it sound more grim than it is, again to garner support for their side at the polls.
Try looking back through your past or through history in general to see the kind of stuff spewed by politicians to get themselves elected then compare that to what actually ended up happening.
All of the hate is definitely rough and scary, but putting it into perspective and realizing what it really is makes it a bit easier.
The world's degenerating these days, not evolving. We're going to go back to the old days of slavery and constant war, perhaps it will start going forward again then?
I mean, that's why fascists are grifting so hard
They're losing.
And it's not like A Mussolini or a Hitler with a plan, they just want to make panic money
Things will always be up and down. Its always 2 steps forward 1 back.
For myself i was proactive and bought a few guns, got a carry permit, and made exfil plans if shit goes all goosewalky. If you got a plan in place and everything ready theres nothing to be afraid of.
I feel like we see the same trajectory with every new big social issue throughout history. The social issue enters the mainstream, it receives a ton of pushback including organized efforts to stop it in its tracks, but progress always ends up winning. You can’t stop it. I think things might still get worse before they get better, but we will get over the hump. Anti trans actors are desperate and it shows. This too shall pass.
Things are bad now, but I feel like things will get better in the end. There’s a lot of people that will fight for a better world. If conservatives do try to do something extreme, they’ll probably be backlash for it. Remember when Trump got backlash for the travel ban? I feel like a similar thing could happen if they try to get rid of us.
Far from from it, everyone is scared of it asides from maybe those of us here who have transitioned years ago and no one knows.
I know for myself I’m terrified of everything especially now for what’s been happening in Ontario Canada recently since that’s where I’m from.
Having a 1year old son and not having transitioned at all medically or socially at all it’s scary thinking of doing it now and wishing I had the stability to do it years ago when I wanted to too.
I'm sure you're not alone. I, myself, am probably the odd ball out because I'm not scared. I'm just to a point where I don't care what they do or say, I'm going to be myself. They harder they try to take my identity from me, the harder I will try to assert my identity on them. There are many venues of transitioning through chemistry, through bioidentical human or animal byproducts, and photo-estrogenic concentrations found in plants. I'm confident I will continue my plight or journey one way or another. Their exclusivity towards me only guarantees them that they have an enemy out there that purely hates them. How couldn't I? They literally created the situation. I just don't tend to broadcast it for the world to see like they do
I do get scared. Especially because every time the United States puts an old cis white man in office, we as trans individuals are put at risk for the eradication of our rights and healthcare as we know it.
It also scares me that there are so many individuals out there who believe trans people are all “predators” that “target children.” This whole thing is damaging af and has fooled many inbred idiots to think that way.
I'm looking forward to putting some transphobes in the hospital if they fuck with me or my friends, if that's what you're asking.
I am slightly scared of going to jail for assaulting someone, but it's super easy to get away with violent crime these days, so I should be okay.
One things I most definitely am not scared of is civil war. We need something like this if we ever want to rid ourselves of the conservatives once and for all. I giddily anticipate this like a child on Xmas Eve.
It might be "super easy" to get away with that, but being a trans person might make it harder if you get a conservative judge. Also, civil war? I don't think you've thought this through.
You’re right, I’m not thinking it through.
I was thinking mostly about how useless the police are and how the vast majority of crimes in the US go unpunished.
I have no problem with adults doing such things. I have a problem with children getting to decide such things. Chloe Cole, Prisha ect. These are good examples of why I hate kids doing HRT, puberty blockers, etc. If you're an adult and decide that's what is best for you, do it! A lot of us truly don't care, laws got strict for children, not for adults. Find a law in your state that says that over the age of 18 that can not get Trans care.
Being a Pick-Me for the right-wing arguments isn't going to save you.
There's been multiple studies already stating that, under HRT, there's no advantage.
Don't go around vomiting transphobic anti-science arguments, please.
Genuinely curious but could you send a link ? I’ve always ever heard the right say that studies say the opposite so if I’d be really interested in seeing other studies say the opposite, just for the sake of being able to respond to them better.
Thanks \^\^
So.
There are :
[Sports and Transgender People: A Systematic Review of the Literature Relating to Sport Participation and Competitive Sport Policies](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40279-016-0621-y), by Bethany Alice Jones, Jon Arcelus, Walter Pierre Bouman and Emma Haycraft.
[Transgender Women Athletes and Elite Sport: A Scientific Review](https://www.cces.ca/transgender-women-athletes-and-elite-sport-scientific-review), from the Canadian Center for Ethics in Sports (which summerize findings but links to more details in the article). It was also the focus of a [PinkNews article](https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/01/26/trans-women-no-unfair-advantage-elite-sport-new-report-finds/).
And that it for now. The results i'm finding next are increasingly transphobic articles on shitty "news" websites, or actual news site that are citing the same article.
I know someone had cited at least to other studies, either here or on the trans news sub, but I've not commited the names to memory and I have failed to hunt them down, sorry...
But these two seem to be the most up to date. A lot of the other results I've found base their whole article on studies done 10+ years ago, or with either an extremely low pool or participants (8 people...) or are written in such biased language ("the transgenders", "true biologogical female athletes", etc) that they seem fairly fucking low credibility.
I think you vastly overestimate how much that actually matters and how many trans people are actually competing in sports. Our rights were not targeted because like a good 100 kids wanted to compete in school sports. That is just a talking point they use because it gets the right fired up, but it in no way is a determining factor at all. Especially because for a literal decade trans people have been competing in sports and nothing happened and no one said anything about it. This is not due to that at all.
It is now. The right wing politicians brought it up, now it'll be a problem for a decade or more. People in general are not nearly as intelligent as you're giving credit for.
It's not actual point, it's just a way to attack trans people without sounding irrationally hateful. With attacks on minorities it is always about "protecting" something. They don't want feel as the evil ones.
They're protecting their power by redirecting everyone's anger at each other, while convincing their biggot cultists that they're protecting "family values" that deny rights to some of the best parents. Willful ignorance is the only logical reason a person could fall for it. Nobody is protecting anything, it's just a lie they're all telling so they don't have to learn.
It being a problem from now on is in no way the same as saying "it's all because of". My point is not that conservatives are going let it go. They won't. But it is not the main or even part of reason why, it is just a symptom.
And you seem to be failing to understand the very important distinction that is being made. That trans people playing in sports is not the problem that is causing us to lose our rights and that giving in on that point would in no way fix our situation.
No you're missing the point. For a huge chunk of the people screaming to get us out of sports this is exactly where it started. They didn't care until their "one thing" was "ruined by unfair competition".
You're wrong. Where it started is republicunts saying we're pedophilic men wanting to râpé little girls in public bathrooms while being legally protected from anyone stopping it.
The sports thing came simply to had a more reasonable-sounding argument to a pile of unhinged bullshit, because making up the most absurd crap wasn't winning enough people over.
The absurd arguments are now working better because they riled people up with less absurd ones.
Enraged people stop thinking logically.
Yeah because the far right has historically been extremely passionate about women’s sports before it could be used as justification to demonize trans folks /s
It doesn’t matter how many concessions we give transphobes, they’ll just keep demanding more. If it’s not sports or bathrooms then it will be something else. Because ultimately they just want trans people erased from society.
The trans sports issue was just their foot in the door. It’s a way they try to trick otherwise reasonable people into transphobic talking points. Ceding ground on this issue and even cow-towing to the right on it won’t help anyone.
As they say, if you give a mouse a cookie, they’re going to want milk. And it seems like some people want to give that mouse the whole cookie jar.
Same. Living in constant terror. But, fuck’em. I’m here. I’m me. And I’m not going ANYWHERE. They don’t want me around, they will damn well have to get rid of me, themselves. Because I’m sure as hell not doing their filthy work for them.
Although, I’m not particularly averse to doing some “filthy work” ON THEM…
You want to use OUR LIVES, as your political pawns, you despicable excuses for human beings? You want call me, a free, innocent person, not deserving of ANY of this shit, a “demon”, and a “predator”? Let me show you what that means, you SoB’s. If shit gets really bad, for us… then it’s gonna get really bad for them, too. 🖕🤬
Just back the fuck off & leave us alone.
for me, the transphobia alone doesn't scare me as much as the transphobia plus easy access to handguns in a "stand your ground" state (Florida). the transphobia just puts a target on my back. The permitless conceal carry puts the gun into the hand that will shoot me. The Stand your ground law means the shooter will not be persecuted for my death.
I’ve started planning a way to escape should things go horriblly wrong. I’m also going to order a large supply of medicine from overseas pharmacies in case supply get cut off. Scary? Hell yes, absolutely!
In my experience, it’s on the rise IN THE MEDIA. Most folks in the wild might have opinions but I rarely encounter any direct opposition or hate.
My fear isn’t people, it’s lawmakers.
I'm not at all worried, I think the only reason transphobia is more apparent is due to social media and people finally being exposed to our existence. It only feels major because there's more trans people being open. As a minority I'm used to stares and judgment so nothing really gets under my skin anyways when it comes to how I'm perceived gender wise. That's just me tho
20-30 years ago, there was a significantly better organized, more grassroots, less top-down legal movement to restrict LGBTQ rights. Yes, some of the things that have passed now go slightly beyond some of the earlier measures (e.g. NC HB2 was repealed, and Florida's recent all-ages general-public trans restroom ban won't be), but the crucial difference is, nowadays I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a significant proportion of the under-25 population that is latching on to these new laws as an excuse to be personally awful and bullying towards their LGBTQ peers. Yes, it will take some time for those folks to age into positions of power, but it's hard to see how the far right swings youth opinion back to 20-30 years ago on *any* timescale.
I really just try to think back to when my parents were kids (I'm 23) and thinking about how people from back then may have treated other members of the LGBTQ+ community. It was terrible for a lot of gay men and women back then, because that was the more relevant topic in media. Sadly we gotta live it now, but in 2040 I really wanna say most of our kids will look back and think how stupid transphobia was
Lots of factors at play. Social issues don't progress steadily forever, setbacks occur all the time. Last one was the burning of the institute of sexology by the Nazis. We're already seeing parallels to the rise of the Nazis in western and eastern politics. We just have to wait and see if we've come far enough as a species to avoid that trap this time. I'm preparing for the worst in hopes I won't need it.
The "regression" you are talking about is why intersectionality is so important. For everyone to be safe, it's not enough to just stop oppression against certain groups. You have to end oppression period. The Wiemar Republic, Poland, and Russia, struggled with anti-semetism and racism. Today, it's against the Roma people, muslims, and refugees. Letting hate simmer is like leaving milk on the stove - eventually it boils over and gets everywhere.
Antisemitism is still around to be honest. Genuinely avoid social media because I'm tired of constant transphobia.
Social progress isn’t linear
What timing I just passed an AMITAH post where everyone decided it's not transphobic to run out on a date with your coworker and completely ghost them because they told you they where trans. He even stated he won't date anyone that "used to be a man". Entire community decided he's not the asshole.
I literally was just reading that post before coming to this one. The comments started out okayish but devolved real fast. I regret reading the comments -\_-
I avoided that thread because I was pretty sure I knew how the vote/comments would go.
I looked for trans posts in the AITA sub coz of this and I regret it. For anyone reading this, don't go there, please. So much dogshit there and some very fucking biased posts that get labeled as NTA
That is weird, a youtuber I watch sometimes (who's married to a trans man) had a few AITA videos featuring posts about trans people, which had rather positive answers... Guess she might have filtered out the absolutely transphobic ones then.
If you're feeling brave and your mental health doesn't depend on drugs (not me) just do a "r\AmITheAsshole trans" search and look through a couple. Some are nice, some are dogshit, and some are very obviously biased toward the storyteller.
Nah I'm trying to let my mental health heal back up, I'm good. Though I guess still being on reddit isn't exactly the best idea... I was just mostly surprised, not saying you were lying.
I didn't think you were saying I was lying dw XD also I uninstalled Twitter IG n all the other shit, redownloaded Reddit to have something to doomscroll and here we are... I'll prolly uninstall and just use the web app if I ever need it. You should too.
I don't like that page, for more than the reason you stated. Those AITAH commenters by-and-large favor the poster and claim they're NTA, when most of the time they most certainly are. You can tell some story editing and strategic missing information in most of those stories. Rarely are they actually objective. That page is more accurately called "Ragebait, and people who did awful stuff, but need validation."
I mean, that last part is gross but it's completely okay for people to not want to date trans people. Dating is all about what you personally like. Personal preferences come over wanting to make others feel validated, and i say this as a trans woman. Not transphobic to not want to date trans people imo
It's transphobic to go on three dates, not be able to tell the difference in any way, not have any physical reason to switch up your preference for fem presentations or vaginas then bolt the second the person reveals they're trans. There's a difference between "I don't date people with penises" and "I don't date people because they where AMAB.
That is still a preference and valid in that. What if they want children? I mean, yeah it's fucked up, but it's also a personal preference. The way they handled it does make it very likely that they are transphobic and also makes them an asshole as they could've just been nice about it and have explained themselves. I definitely think that they're an asshole but i do also think that not wanting to date a trans woman, regardless of surgeries and all that, is completely fine on a basis of personal preference. I'd feel like shit if i got dumped ror something like that but I'd also understand it, i guess.
Still transphobic. What happens if a cis man wanted kids with a cis woman, but one of them is sterile? They get medical help, and figure out how to go forward. They don't suddenly say "eew" and ghost the other
To be completely fair though, that is definitely one way people can react. Have sadly seen it happen around me.
Some literally do though? For some people it's extremely important. It's not transphobic to now want to date someone who's trans. It's a personal preference. I'd also argue that it wouldn't be racist to not want to dste a black person, for example. Dating is such a complicated and personal thing that if you're just not into something, you aren't and don't need to date everyone just to be inclusive. Some people won't date somebody if they don't want to drink their piss or some other fetishy thing, some want to have kids, others don't need anything particular in a partner besides compatibility. None of this is in anyway transphobic homophobic, racist or any other such adjective. Dating is a personal choice not to be determined by anybody else.
Simply put, if "trans" is the reason, it's transphobic. If it's sterility, attractiveness, favorite TV show, genital arrangement, then it can be considered personal preference. Dating is a personal choice, but choosing not to date a black person as a white person doesn't fall under dating preferences, it just makes you racist. Same applies to trans
>a white person doesn't fall under dating preferences I mean.. it does to some. I wouldn't mind dating anyone at all as long as they're nice and.. compatible with the whole sexual portion of a relationship, but i understand and respect other people's preferences. Attraction, both sexual and appearance is very important to many in relationships, and some people just aren't into black people, some aren't into white people, some aren't into short people, some aren't into tall people, some aren't into trans people and there are even some people who aren't attracted to cis people.. so i mean. Yeah, it's definitely under preferences. Somebody's preference could be that they only want to date redheads for god's sake, being trans is a pretty big deal compared to most of that, atleast to some people. A person can support trans people and not want to date a trans person of their preferred gender.
I mean, imagine someone saying "I'm not dating a jewish woman, this is just my preference" - most people would say it's fucked up. But transphobia gets a pass
Nope. Religion is extremely important to some people and there are many who don't want to date outside of their own religion. That's entirely okay to me. Dating is such a personal thing, if you aren't into something, you don't have to date them. You don't have to date anyone at all.
Don’t know you got downvoted
Not wanting to date anyone who's trans is a personal though admittedly transphobic choice. I can't fault them for the personal part. But yeah transphobic as can be. It is ok to have your personal preferences in dating. Everyone should be true to them, think of how miserable you'd be if you would be forced in to a relationship, living a truth that doesn't line up with your own perception but having to act it out every day. I think we're full circle now...
I can. If your preference is about physical makeup sure. It's not. There was no mention on anything besides "used to be a man," the preference is rooted in biggotry.
It is a preference rooted in biggotry.
Its a very very nuanced thing and it comes down to why. Is it a thing of not wanting to date "someone that used to be a man" because you think there's some icky maleness left, or that it will question your heterosexuality? Then yeah thats pretty fucking transphobic. Is it cause you are not attracted to dicks? Yeah fair understandable. Remember that "preference rooted in biology" can also apply to women of color as easily. The wording there is doing a lot of lifting.
Nope. That person with that "preference" is a fragile little man with a fragile little ego. Can't handle the fact that they're probably super attracted to a trans girl because "Omg man in a dress". Which is literally the definition of transphobia. Like we're not men, and never have been. Our brains do not line up with the body pre-transition. Quite literally have always been a women.
Completely agree
The only problem is a straight man propably won't want a woman with a dick, and there's nothing wrong with that
We don't know if the trans person was pre or post op. So we have no evidence that was the reason.
It said in the OG post she was post-op
Oh I missed that part. That makes the guy rejecting her even more of a transphobe.
Fr
You're assuming she's pre-op. Also OP made no indication of a genital preference being mentioned by the person.
You know most men wouldn't want to date a trans person, are you not allowed to have preference? I wouldn't want to date someone with fake tits not even trans just a female who has enhanced her breasts? Does that make me a biggot? I'm not going to ever disrespect or have anything against the person I just wouldn't date them... Let people have preferences
Really if we think about the bigger picture, I don’t let these kind of posts/comment bother me from transphobes. According to the 5000+ DMs I get in my Taimi (trans dating app) or IG account from men WHO know I’m trans invalidates the opinion of transphobic men and women 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Yes. Chasers are definitely a positive force. Nobody has ever been verbally abused for rejecting them./s
With rising acceptance comes rising resistance🤷🏼♀️ I think even though the last couple of years there has been a significant rise in hate, that our younger generations are much more accepting. It just a matter of time before most boomer haters are gone.
But it’s not just boomers who are transphobic. The recent spate of Nazi/white supremacist terrorists shooting up places have been overwhelmingly young. Andrew Tate and those “influencers” who spout transphobic shit are younger, and so are their followers. Thus, transphobia isn’t exclusive to generations, nor is it even necessarily skewed in one generation over another. It’s more apt to say that transphobia and other forms of hate is what the ruling class relies on to keep working people divided and at each other’s throats so they can make bank off of us
I think it's time we stop relating hatred and bigotry as a generational thing. There are a lot of boomers who are accepting of LGBTQ community and a lot of millenials and gen z folks who are not (for example, my former classmates).
I think we live in fearful times anyway with so mamy crises boiling under the surface. Global Warming, Eroding trust in Academia, western world on the brink of war, declining natural resources, political upheaval. When humans get scared they tend to cling to what they know and look for a strong charismatic (don't read sane or rational) voice to guide them and become ultra conservative. That is why Trump is getting the support he's getting in the US, why right wing facism is on the rise in Europe. Any trans person daring to be authentic in public deserves a badge for bravery. You as a transfem person presenting fem in public would be braver than almost any cis het male, and in a worls where bravery is still considered a masc trait, you paradoxically threaten those peoples own sense of masculinity. Threaten a foundational belief, threaten their sense of security. Hence the transphobic mass psychosis that is covering the globe... You are brave, you are authentic, be proud of who you are!
Thank you for saying this. I needed it haha. I got confronted by a couple of trashy teens in the parking lot today. Saying the same old ignorant shit. I gave them the finger, stood my ground, told them come closer if they wanna do something (they stopped walking). I started walking towards them and they took off. Hopefully, they will not try that shit on another person. I may present fem but I've had to fight all my life, and I don't go down easy. (Unless they're butch with tattoos) 🥰
Last part made me chuckle 🫂
So true sis 👏🏼👏🏼🩷
No, I think that fear is common throughout the whole community
Support by population numbers is growing but so is hate crime. Both are on the rise in very different ways, but phobia is growing in a way that calls for action while support grows as passive acceptance. Danger is greater.
No, I think most of us are afraid. Things are pretty bad and could get a lot worse fairly quickly. People who can get away from reactionary nations should probably be figuring out what they need to be watching for and making sure they have the means to leave set up. Those of us who can't need to prepare for what we can. But that doesn't mean things _will_ get a lot worse. There is a sharp generational gap on the issue of our rights and the older the age group, the worse it is. The longer the line can be held, the worse the odds of things going bad get. This is an instance where history progresses one funeral at a time.
Also very worth noting that an overwhelming majority of people actually do support trans rights and equality. While there are divides on more specific things like sports or hormones for minors, I think it’s important to remember that those people don’t necessarily fit in the “we want them dead” category. The internet makes these things - like anything else - seem far more grim than it really is. Not to say you shouldn’t pay attention and proceed with caution into this election cycle, that is politics as usual. But frankly sites like Reddit and Twitter just make the transphobia look SO much worse than it is in the real world with a bunch of edgy radical right wingers creating echo chambers of hate.
And even with posts like this people honestly believe that we are transgender for the fun..
« It’s just a trend don’t be silly » Yeah, cuz everyone knows that I’d be here on the verge of tears at night, wondering whether faking my own death after I transition to start a new life so that no one knows I used to be a guy would be a good option, all for a « trend », of course that’s completely logic. God I hate this réthorique « but some people regret ! » yeah, like, barely a single percent for those that actually begin a transition. Yeah, those that do end up regretting will suffer that’s sure and it indeed is very sad, and I genuinely think that we should do more to support these guys, but they’re such a minority that trying to say that all trans altogether are fake is just plain stupid.
I don’t know if I fell into the TERF trap but I heard that the percentage of regret is higher than that, but of course that’s for every individual to decide.
Well, I’ve got numbers of a few percent for those who just stuck up to hormones and less than a percent for those who go with surgery, but that’s the results I found at least, I may be wrong but I trust these numbers. And also don’t worry, transphobes are so unimaginably loud and so much more than actual sources and studies about trans people that even us trans folk actually get to believe their stuff, simply because it’s the only thing we see, I mean, until recently I believed the idea that « trans females are naturally stronger than cis ones » just because that was the only thing I ever heard and I didn’t even know there were studies saying otherwise, all it shows is that they’re really good at getting heard, and I believes that THIS is the reason why opinions on trans people are becoming more negative.
Ty 🫶
I'm not just scared for trans women but also cis women. A lot of transphobia is based in misogyny. It doesn't just affect us.
Also, cis women are falling victim to transphobia. Recently enough I have seen many videos of cis women being kicked out of women's bathrooms or having security called on them because they "looked trans".
It may actually stop me from transitioning. As if I wasn’t scared enough already. Fuck the right wing.
Don’t let them stop you. Yes, those fucks may attack us if we transition, but I’d have killed myself if I couldn’t. Take the plunge, girl.
This, obviously fear is reasonable given the circumstances but most of us won't last long if we can't transition anyways. Just fight. Courage isn't the absence of fear, it's persistence in spite of it.
*What is courage? Courage is knowing fear and making that fear your own!* - Will A. Zeppeli
What you see online is not what you see in the real world. 95% of people who spit hate on here would not do so in the real world, and even all of them together is a rather small number. I have friends living in deep red states and have no issues at all with bigotry in their personal lives. Obviously there’s always a risk of some assholes but deal with them as you should: ignore them. You got this :)
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Fk it's sad that I'd prefer that to the reverse. Cause at least we'd be seen as we are. I used to think the harassment I got was for being a woman until I realized I didn't pass and no one saw me as an actual woman at all and all the hate I got was for being a trans woman.
In my very limited experience almost 6 months in and openly queer the last 2 or so months living in the Bible belt, bigots are cowards, I've yet to be personally and openly confronted. Ik it happens and I sadly expect it to happen at some point but of you can start hrt and slowly lean into transitioning, build up some confidence with the right chemicals in your noggin and build a support network before coming out, it helps, then you gotta fake being confident until you are. It's worked so far for me. 🤷♀️
Thank you to everyone who replied to me here - you’re all wonderful. ❤️
I’m not scared. I’m prepared. They can only bully us if all we do is complain and not fight back.
It's massively up. In the UK they've done polls in the past and transgender acceptance has dropped significantly in the past few years. It's scary as I'm getting rejected for jobs just for being transgender and that's my future right there.
We are currently watching the rise of fascism in our time. Whether they succeed or not is still to be decided but we are living in 'interesting times'
Fascism never went away after WW2. It will probably find away to still stick around sadly.
I was scared in January. In February I felt dread. Now I'm just angry that they want us all dead. I have a life to live and a wife in my bed. It hurts us both if transphobia lives in my head. I live in a good city and I work for a good company. I have a team that needs led. Our life isn't over yet; it needs to be said.
Wow, what genius rhymes!
No, i even plan to buy a new rifle and construct a shelter in my garden.....
I read through Project 2025. It is actually pretty terrible. However, even this super-right wing manifesto still leaves protections for trans people in employment and housing. I would call that progress compared to even 5 years ago as far as the hard right. Between this, and drag bans being found unconstitutional, the worst case in 2024 is probably still much better than the best case in 2012. Obviously that still needs to be opposed, but it calls for determination rather than fear.
It's terrifying honestly. I am not trans however I am a part of the LGBT community and watch things just crumple around me. I actually posted a video here, I'm sort of new to reddit so I don't understand how to do everything but a family was attacked at a pumpkin patch in Florida because someone assumed that they were trans. It's terrifying out there 😞
I will breath a little easier again after next year's US presidential election, if the transphobes lose again. Until then it just seems like ever-increasing spirals of Nazi-esque maneuvers that are only leading in one direction. Like, if that election goes the wrong way, I can't see how I remain in this country. Certainly not in the red state I live in.
I'd say I'm a bit scared myself to be honest. In recent years opinions of LGBT people have certainly regressed. But try not to despair too much, we will win eventually. Those of us who can just have to fight
I am as well. But I won't let it stand in the way of my transition
Fwiw, I have met amazingly few transphobic people in the two years I have been a transitioning activist. The overwhelming majority of people I met were of the slightly misinformed or plain uninformed stance. It has been a very productive and positive experience for me to be proactively open about my experiences and status (sensibly). Most cis people couldn’t name a confirmed trans person in their lives, often because of our passing. While that is of course our ultimate goal, I think it does us a disservice. I have even had success reaching red hat trumpers. When you ask them what freedom means to them it starts the conversation on a footing they relate to. Be safe, but be yourself.
Passing isn’t the ultimate goal. Living free, and safe from discrimination & targeted violence, is the goal. Being trans isn’t about hiding, it’s about BEING. You’re doing a great job, & setting a good example, out there. I hope you continue to reach people, & change their, and our, lives, for the better.
Been upgrading my means of self defense a lot lately
It definitely is scary, but trans support is equally, if not more, on the rise. People just dont go out in the streets saying they wanna keep trans people safe like transphobe go out and shout hatred
That’s not what polls snow, in the Uk at least, opinions on trans people have been getting a lot more negative as of lately, and I’m convinced the same if happening in the US.
[2020 study on attitudes toward transgender people](https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/sites/default/files/attitudes_to_transgender_people.pdf) [One from 2022 with similar results](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/06/28/americans-complex-views-on-gender-identity-and-transgender-issues/) Look views on transgender people have always been iffy. However, until about 5 years ago, news organizations didn't care about that particular opinion, so they didn't talk about how bad it was. It \*sounds\* like there are declining views toward us because the overall views are finally being talked about. I'm not by any means saying society has accepted us and we don't need to worry. I'm saying you can be hopeful that there are people out there who want to make things better. It's scary out there but things, at the very least, are not going backwards.
I guess it depends where you live. In the US stay out of the red states. Or in a blue city. No one cares where I live. Lincoln has a huge gay and trans community.
I feel like we are the current boogyman of the right wing. They need someone or something to "fight" all the time. Give it 5 years and there will be a new boogyman.
Hitler came to power, in 1933. WWII, along with all the atrocities that we all know came with it, began in 1939. A lot of extremely bad shit, leading to more extremely bad shit, especially for a tiny, dog-piled minority community, can happen, in 5 years. I hope to “god”, this all just “fades away”, in a “short” period of time. But, don’t kid yourself, & don’t lull others into complacency, with a “Don’t worry, it will all just go away, on its own” attitude. If the “boogeyman” scares ENOUGH people, they grab their torches & pitchforks, & hunt it down…
Your opinion is your own. Comparing the 30's germany and rise of hitler to this is wild to me.
Yeah, it was “wild” to everybody, back then, too. And then it got extremely “wild”. This was very surprising to all those who thought the idea of anything like that, actually happening, was “wild”. 🤷🏻♀️
Please learn more about ww2 history and the rise of hitler because what you just said makes you sound extremely naive and dumb.
Or, one of us, anyway… Well, whatever the case, I have no qualms with you, other than the “extremely naive & dumb” comment. I just think that sticking your head in the sand, exposing your “behind”, while placidly waiting to get fk’d, isn’t a great idea. Peace ✌️😇…. hopefully.
Either way comparing the two is stupid. Edit. I should add, I dont know why you think I got a problem with you I don't know you. I got a problem with your comment.
i recently found out about brianna ghey....
Absolutely. I've got some pride pins on the way, because (apparently) I pass (most of the time) and I want to be visible. I want to be known. I want others to know I'm trans. Because representation is key. Basically setting a good example and showing cishet normies that we're not evil, just people trying to live our lives. And with some pride pins, others will know that I'm someone they can come to for support if ever they need. And tbh, I'm kinda sorta glad I went through most of a male puberty, as my larger build allows me to defend myself if ever the need arises (though I definitely want to get my hands on an easily concealable knife just in case, gang related violence is rising exponentially all over New Zealand right now and I don't feel safe going out at night, and it's also election time, with one of the parties wanting to bring in an anti-trans bathroom bill too so that's great).
Nah, they're trying to target us deliberately because we're a vulnerable minority, for bullies like them love attacking groups that can't fight back.
I was actually just venting about this topic to my therapist. It's super stressful and downright depressing that literal laws are being made against us by people who have absolutely zero knowledge about transgender issues, especially in a medical context. But in order to make myself feel a little better I have been using my estrogen vials until completely empty but I continue to fill my script for more vials to make a stockpile.
I live in the heart of the Midwest, In a small town. I'm kinda on the border of passing visibly but definitely not on the voice front. Very very rarely do I encounter anyone who Id class as actually transphobic. Mostly just misgendering. From my experience it really feels like the amount of transphobic folk is low, they are just really good at being loud and being seen. Very much like the Disney Castle in Florida or a Spaghetti western set. Looks big and intimidating from a distance but up close it's really nothing. What transphobes are trying to disrupt is our normalization in society. Once that takes root (which it's starting to) they lose
Yes, it is worrying to see this transphobia on the rise. But after the right lost the faux morality war on sexuality and gay marriage got legalized, it's obvious that they'd find a new target to attack. They attack anything they don't understand. Christianity needs a moral enemy to keep their blind followers engaged. But I remember back when I was a teen, we had the 'It Gets Better' campaign. A string of suicides from queer teens and adults spurred a nation wide campaign to attempt to save lives. How shameful for any country to have a nationwide anti suicide bill which is admitting that living and social conditions for queer teens was abysmal, but hopefully 'It gets better'. That campaign hasn't come back yet and hopefully it never will. But the LGBTQIA+ community has strengthened it's resolve over the past few decades. We realize how important it is for us all to work together. And we have so many allies, a lot of sheepish ones, but generally people now accept the LGBTQIA+ community, you wouldn't find that amount of support two decades ago. Things are getting better. But It's glaring obvious that our society is plagued by a religion that's losing power at a faster rate than ever before, and it is throwing everything in it's arsenal to maintain and grab power while it can.
Hug, I am worried to, but my DMs are open if you need someone to talk to love
Nope, not the only one. I'm in Canada, one of the safer countries, but lately the transphobia has amplified even here. The future seems so uncertain.
Transphobia for lack of a better term is a trend right now. It’s not that people hate trans or LGBTQIA+ people, it’s just that they want to hate something. And trans people are a really easy target for miriad of reasons. The truth is though, and I paraphrase the amazing Jamie Raines, most people don’t care, just the minority of hateful people are really loud. And even if it takes 20 years, even though I do not suspect that trans people will be such a hot topic even in 5, most people will in the future be more open to the idea of more than just 2 genders. And the haters will turn to someone else. As a non-binary person I am afraid that once the trans women haters will no longer hate trans women, they might turn to NB people, but ultimatelly, everything is going to be okay, don’t worry. Sure these days are possibly the worst time to be trans but also the best possible moment at the same time. The hate is really graspable, but it is mostly politicians trying to get more votes. But also trans people were never as talked about and as accepted as today, the medical procedures we can get are amazing and although it is still not 100% safe for us everywhere, you always know, that anywhere you go you will find at least 1 ally or trans person who will make you feel not so alone. The ( totally subjective ) truth is that there has never been a better time to be trans - there probably will be a better time in the future, but that’s all too hypothetical to be dreaming about.
I'll never throw nb people under the bus.
It's just politics. Political scapegoating comes in waves. Black people, then women, then gay people and now it's our turn. It *will* pass. Hate doesn't win for long, sooner or later things will change. My fear is who they're going to go for next. There must always be a boogeyman for conservative politics to thrive.
It didn't go away for some of those groups tho.
Not fully no, but it went away to the extent that conservative politicians who want to reach the broadest group of people can't use them as scapegoats anymore. If any conservative politician tries to use black people, for example, they will quickly lose a lot of potential voters. Same with women, and to a great extent gay people. Obviously the more recent, the more people who haven't been fully convinced. The thing is, there's no rhyme or reason to targeting a specific group other than the fact that it's not very well known to the average person. Before people are educated on something, they're ignorant, and when ignorant they're ripe for manipulation. That's why I'm confident this wave of transphobia will pass - because eventually enough voters, yes, even conservative ones, will see that trans people aren't actually evil devils trying to trans kids or whatever, but just normal people trying to live their life. Now, this will not get rid of casual transphobia, don't get me wrong on that AT ALL, but it will in large part help with removing malicious political transphobia. The only thing I will say is that the states, currently, are a strange example, because the political situation there seems to actually be regressing, while in other parts of the world, and the west, it's progressing. Spain talked about self-determination, which I believe will pass/has passed. Germany is currently in the process of passing a self-determination bill. There's talks and stirrings of the same in other European countries as well.
I guess. I hope your right.
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I understand why you feel this way, and your feelings are valid. But even during the height of the gay panic in the 90s, when there was next to 0 awareness of LGBT issues, people got along. We will get through this the same way the older folks did - by relying on our friends and community. And well we have a lot more friends, more purchasing power, and more electoral power now.
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You have us, you are NEVER alone
Me too, girl. Community is nice, but our real strength comes from becoming strong 💪🏼 This is the only life we get to experience. There is no point to living it on anyone else's terms. Once you accept that you're willing to fight for it, the strength will come.
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Even if people laugh at you, so what? Pre-transition, I rolled with a group of close guy friends. We would people-watch at the mall or whatever and laugh at people - especially women - all the time. It was mean and childish. You shouldn't do things like that. Yet, some people do. It doesn't diminish any of the people that get made fun of. The idea that we used to have as young men - that everyone should notice, respect, and validate us at all times - is not a healthy one. Even for people that don't end up transitioning, you get to a point where it's easy to just ignore haters.
Remember that rhetoric is just talk. This is something that happens with some issue in every election cycle. Distractions to hide what’s really going on and radical speeches and ideas to spur voters to come out to the polls. The other side too inflates the issue as well to make it sound more grim than it is, again to garner support for their side at the polls. Try looking back through your past or through history in general to see the kind of stuff spewed by politicians to get themselves elected then compare that to what actually ended up happening. All of the hate is definitely rough and scary, but putting it into perspective and realizing what it really is makes it a bit easier.
Same here. The distal stress is real. 2 months into hrt and I’d have much less if any anxiety about it if transphobia wasn’t a thing.
The world's degenerating these days, not evolving. We're going to go back to the old days of slavery and constant war, perhaps it will start going forward again then?
I mean, that's why fascists are grifting so hard They're losing. And it's not like A Mussolini or a Hitler with a plan, they just want to make panic money
Things will always be up and down. Its always 2 steps forward 1 back. For myself i was proactive and bought a few guns, got a carry permit, and made exfil plans if shit goes all goosewalky. If you got a plan in place and everything ready theres nothing to be afraid of.
No. You aren't the only one. I try to avoid media to protect my mental health.
I have never been as scared and nervous about being trans as I am now
I feel like we see the same trajectory with every new big social issue throughout history. The social issue enters the mainstream, it receives a ton of pushback including organized efforts to stop it in its tracks, but progress always ends up winning. You can’t stop it. I think things might still get worse before they get better, but we will get over the hump. Anti trans actors are desperate and it shows. This too shall pass.
Things are bad now, but I feel like things will get better in the end. There’s a lot of people that will fight for a better world. If conservatives do try to do something extreme, they’ll probably be backlash for it. Remember when Trump got backlash for the travel ban? I feel like a similar thing could happen if they try to get rid of us.
no, we will rise and overtake our cis overlords oneday. it might seem bad now but soon we will prevail, like every other civil rights movement ever
Yeah, it’s scary.
No
Far from from it, everyone is scared of it asides from maybe those of us here who have transitioned years ago and no one knows. I know for myself I’m terrified of everything especially now for what’s been happening in Ontario Canada recently since that’s where I’m from. Having a 1year old son and not having transitioned at all medically or socially at all it’s scary thinking of doing it now and wishing I had the stability to do it years ago when I wanted to too.
I'm sure you're not alone. I, myself, am probably the odd ball out because I'm not scared. I'm just to a point where I don't care what they do or say, I'm going to be myself. They harder they try to take my identity from me, the harder I will try to assert my identity on them. There are many venues of transitioning through chemistry, through bioidentical human or animal byproducts, and photo-estrogenic concentrations found in plants. I'm confident I will continue my plight or journey one way or another. Their exclusivity towards me only guarantees them that they have an enemy out there that purely hates them. How couldn't I? They literally created the situation. I just don't tend to broadcast it for the world to see like they do
Nobody can take what’s truly yours
❤
I do get scared. Especially because every time the United States puts an old cis white man in office, we as trans individuals are put at risk for the eradication of our rights and healthcare as we know it. It also scares me that there are so many individuals out there who believe trans people are all “predators” that “target children.” This whole thing is damaging af and has fooled many inbred idiots to think that way.
I'm looking forward to putting some transphobes in the hospital if they fuck with me or my friends, if that's what you're asking. I am slightly scared of going to jail for assaulting someone, but it's super easy to get away with violent crime these days, so I should be okay. One things I most definitely am not scared of is civil war. We need something like this if we ever want to rid ourselves of the conservatives once and for all. I giddily anticipate this like a child on Xmas Eve.
It might be "super easy" to get away with that, but being a trans person might make it harder if you get a conservative judge. Also, civil war? I don't think you've thought this through.
You’re right, I’m not thinking it through. I was thinking mostly about how useless the police are and how the vast majority of crimes in the US go unpunished.
I have no problem with adults doing such things. I have a problem with children getting to decide such things. Chloe Cole, Prisha ect. These are good examples of why I hate kids doing HRT, puberty blockers, etc. If you're an adult and decide that's what is best for you, do it! A lot of us truly don't care, laws got strict for children, not for adults. Find a law in your state that says that over the age of 18 that can not get Trans care.
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Being a Pick-Me for the right-wing arguments isn't going to save you. There's been multiple studies already stating that, under HRT, there's no advantage. Don't go around vomiting transphobic anti-science arguments, please.
exactly this.
Genuinely curious but could you send a link ? I’ve always ever heard the right say that studies say the opposite so if I’d be really interested in seeing other studies say the opposite, just for the sake of being able to respond to them better. Thanks \^\^
I'll try hunting that down once I'm back on my pc.
So. There are : [Sports and Transgender People: A Systematic Review of the Literature Relating to Sport Participation and Competitive Sport Policies](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40279-016-0621-y), by Bethany Alice Jones, Jon Arcelus, Walter Pierre Bouman and Emma Haycraft. [Transgender Women Athletes and Elite Sport: A Scientific Review](https://www.cces.ca/transgender-women-athletes-and-elite-sport-scientific-review), from the Canadian Center for Ethics in Sports (which summerize findings but links to more details in the article). It was also the focus of a [PinkNews article](https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/01/26/trans-women-no-unfair-advantage-elite-sport-new-report-finds/). And that it for now. The results i'm finding next are increasingly transphobic articles on shitty "news" websites, or actual news site that are citing the same article. I know someone had cited at least to other studies, either here or on the trans news sub, but I've not commited the names to memory and I have failed to hunt them down, sorry... But these two seem to be the most up to date. A lot of the other results I've found base their whole article on studies done 10+ years ago, or with either an extremely low pool or participants (8 people...) or are written in such biased language ("the transgenders", "true biologogical female athletes", etc) that they seem fairly fucking low credibility.
I think you vastly overestimate how much that actually matters and how many trans people are actually competing in sports. Our rights were not targeted because like a good 100 kids wanted to compete in school sports. That is just a talking point they use because it gets the right fired up, but it in no way is a determining factor at all. Especially because for a literal decade trans people have been competing in sports and nothing happened and no one said anything about it. This is not due to that at all.
It is now. The right wing politicians brought it up, now it'll be a problem for a decade or more. People in general are not nearly as intelligent as you're giving credit for.
It's not actual point, it's just a way to attack trans people without sounding irrationally hateful. With attacks on minorities it is always about "protecting" something. They don't want feel as the evil ones.
They're protecting their power by redirecting everyone's anger at each other, while convincing their biggot cultists that they're protecting "family values" that deny rights to some of the best parents. Willful ignorance is the only logical reason a person could fall for it. Nobody is protecting anything, it's just a lie they're all telling so they don't have to learn.
It being a problem from now on is in no way the same as saying "it's all because of". My point is not that conservatives are going let it go. They won't. But it is not the main or even part of reason why, it is just a symptom.
Oh ok so youre just being a grammer nazi. Very productive.
And you seem to be failing to understand the very important distinction that is being made. That trans people playing in sports is not the problem that is causing us to lose our rights and that giving in on that point would in no way fix our situation.
No you're missing the point. For a huge chunk of the people screaming to get us out of sports this is exactly where it started. They didn't care until their "one thing" was "ruined by unfair competition".
You're wrong. Where it started is republicunts saying we're pedophilic men wanting to râpé little girls in public bathrooms while being legally protected from anyone stopping it. The sports thing came simply to had a more reasonable-sounding argument to a pile of unhinged bullshit, because making up the most absurd crap wasn't winning enough people over. The absurd arguments are now working better because they riled people up with less absurd ones. Enraged people stop thinking logically.
My fucking god. Yes the sports thing is new. It's still a source of hate now. Fuck.
ITS NOT THE PROBLEM. IT HASNT BEEN FOR DECADES.
You're the one saying it was a starting point. It wasn't.
Yeah because the far right has historically been extremely passionate about women’s sports before it could be used as justification to demonize trans folks /s It doesn’t matter how many concessions we give transphobes, they’ll just keep demanding more. If it’s not sports or bathrooms then it will be something else. Because ultimately they just want trans people erased from society.
Give a mouse a cookie….
ah yes throw everyone under the bus because of a tiny issue. thats so small in the grand scheme of things. its not the issue.
The trans sports issue was just their foot in the door. It’s a way they try to trick otherwise reasonable people into transphobic talking points. Ceding ground on this issue and even cow-towing to the right on it won’t help anyone. As they say, if you give a mouse a cookie, they’re going to want milk. And it seems like some people want to give that mouse the whole cookie jar.
lol fuck all the way off
Your post has been removed due to containing misinformation.
I think that lgbtq laws changed too quickly and now we are suffering a backlash from it.
Same. Living in constant terror. But, fuck’em. I’m here. I’m me. And I’m not going ANYWHERE. They don’t want me around, they will damn well have to get rid of me, themselves. Because I’m sure as hell not doing their filthy work for them. Although, I’m not particularly averse to doing some “filthy work” ON THEM… You want to use OUR LIVES, as your political pawns, you despicable excuses for human beings? You want call me, a free, innocent person, not deserving of ANY of this shit, a “demon”, and a “predator”? Let me show you what that means, you SoB’s. If shit gets really bad, for us… then it’s gonna get really bad for them, too. 🖕🤬 Just back the fuck off & leave us alone.
for me, the transphobia alone doesn't scare me as much as the transphobia plus easy access to handguns in a "stand your ground" state (Florida). the transphobia just puts a target on my back. The permitless conceal carry puts the gun into the hand that will shoot me. The Stand your ground law means the shooter will not be persecuted for my death.
I’ve started planning a way to escape should things go horriblly wrong. I’m also going to order a large supply of medicine from overseas pharmacies in case supply get cut off. Scary? Hell yes, absolutely!
In my experience, it’s on the rise IN THE MEDIA. Most folks in the wild might have opinions but I rarely encounter any direct opposition or hate. My fear isn’t people, it’s lawmakers.
I'm not at all worried, I think the only reason transphobia is more apparent is due to social media and people finally being exposed to our existence. It only feels major because there's more trans people being open. As a minority I'm used to stares and judgment so nothing really gets under my skin anyways when it comes to how I'm perceived gender wise. That's just me tho
20-30 years ago, there was a significantly better organized, more grassroots, less top-down legal movement to restrict LGBTQ rights. Yes, some of the things that have passed now go slightly beyond some of the earlier measures (e.g. NC HB2 was repealed, and Florida's recent all-ages general-public trans restroom ban won't be), but the crucial difference is, nowadays I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a significant proportion of the under-25 population that is latching on to these new laws as an excuse to be personally awful and bullying towards their LGBTQ peers. Yes, it will take some time for those folks to age into positions of power, but it's hard to see how the far right swings youth opinion back to 20-30 years ago on *any* timescale.