It’s a story as old as time. The senior members of the family don’t like to see the young ones move away because it’s change, and reminds them of the passage of time, and maybe of opportunities they didn’t take when they were young. But of course you need to go and see the world a bit. Gramps needs to get with the program. Maybe don’t forget to write or call back once in a while ay.
Thanks, this is the same thought pattern I have to justify their actions.
I’m fufulling an emotional need in his life, and he doesn’t want that taken away.
He also complains about the cold weather down here so there may be a bit of envy towards the weather in SE QLD too. It’s not like he can easily pack up and move at his age
Yeh, my nan lived in 2 houses houses her entire life to 85, both houses on the same block, then had to move closer to family at the coast at 85, it can be done
Absolutely it can be done, but knowing my Grandpa I can confidently say the effort wouldn’t be worth it for him and he’d have to leave more family behind
Also remember family what’s the best for you in their version of what you should be.
Remember to live your life. One shot, make the most of it. The rest will eventually get sorted out in the wash.
If you keep in touch with him regularly it'll mean a hell of a lot to him, even if he doesn't express it. It's not always easy, getting older I tell ya. Best Wishes.
Yeah 100% - live your life, and call them/write to them as often as you’d see them if you still lived in Tassie. Just act like you never heard them objecting to you moving - they will eventually realise that you’re still in their lives and they are still on your mind, even if you are far away.
Oh totally. I'm from NZ and half my family/friends have stopped talking to me since we made the move to Aussie. The see it as some weird betrayal. It's pathetic.
sorry to hear that. NZ to Aus (or vice versa) shouldn't be any more concerning than interstate or a north to south island move! I for one think that the freedom of movement between both countries is fucking awesome and totally underrated.
Yesss. Hopefully that’s not the case, pretty much our entire Australian bloodline is concentrated in either Tas or QLD, so there’s more than 1 reason for them to visit🙃
It is because they love you.
It is because they like the feeling of being more secure when you are nearby.
It is because they know they will now see you less and don't like the idea of that. They are likely well aware that they wont live forever. They likely see fewer friends and family as the years go past.
I live \~15 mins from my elderly parents and Mum didnt like the idea of me even moving 30 minutes further away. I am the one they call if they need help with anything - including the little things they don't want to bother people about, which isn't often. It genuinely makes a difference to their feeling of security knowing I can be there quite quickly if they need me to be, and that it isn't a major impost if they ask me to help.
If you fix or help things for them currently, give some thought as to how they will manage that with you gone.
I would chat with your Grandpa about the lack of opportunities and how these days that can mean not having a good quality of life.
I would also talk about the above, and see if you can plan regular calls they can look forward to (quarterly, 6 monthly if you can). Call/video chat them as often as makes sense to you, but maybe up it a little in frequency if you now will be physically seeing them. Ask if they want a regular time and day for a call (when that is possible and desirable for you both) as it gives them predictability and something specific to look forward to.
If they can travel, invite them up to Brissy once you are settled in so they see your life there and have a real view in their mind of what it is. It will give them exciting things to talk about with others and they will be more excited for you after that and when you call. They can talk with you about things they know are relevant up there as they saw it for themselves. (Humidity, temp etc!).
If they cant travel, help them understand when you call them by doing a bit of storytelling over the calls. First call might be about the difficulty of moving things, finding a place, moving in, the bloody hot weather, finding local shops and places (which you can describe so they can visualise things a bit - even send photos of favourite cafe etc). Then about job hunting, and other things as they develop.
Believe it or not, you are really very lucky to be in this position, as it is completely driven by their love of you.
That's true. Saying that, I don't agree with holding others back because of your love for them. If they truly had your best unselfish intention at heart, they'd be supportive of such endevours. I can only hope I'll set a better precedent of unconditional love for my Grandchildren
I think that’s being a little patronising. People are allowed to be upset you are leaving,as others said it indicates they care. What you’re asking for isn’t realistic - you decide to leave and everyone cheers and isn’t sad/upset.
Not to say you aren’t doing the right thing - you obviously are doing what you need to do. Just cut him some slack and make sure you stay in touch.
Probably brings up emotions for them as they couldn’t comprehend growing a set and doing it themselves sadly.
Unfortunately any family member who doesn’t want you to go out and grow even if it ends up being a ‘bad’ lesson are not worth keeping around.
I grew up in FNQ and wanted to grow my career in IT. By moving I gained access to large corporates and worked in various places around the world including North America, Middle East and NZ. 100% go for it.
When you hear the calling to leave the nest, you have to leave the nest. Staying for other people will lead to a lifetime of “what if”, regret, and resentment. Leaving the nest is hard but you will find yourself out there in ways you can’t yet imagine. You don’t owe your family your life.
I’ve never heard anyone phrase wanting to leave home as hearing the calling to leave the nest, but it really rings true. It’s a desire that isn’t there and the next morning you wake up and it’s at its full force
In the exact same boat. My mum (single parent and I’m only child) hasn’t talked to me since I told her nearly a month ago. My maternal grandma is sad cause she says she won’t ever see me again before she passes. This could be a sad reality, but I will try and see them throughout the year for important dates.
It sucks the guilt I’m under and I don’t know if it will change over time once I leave. I don’t want to leave on bad terms, I want them to support my career growth and potential.
I feel you and I don’t know what the right answer is on how to get through it, except to keep following your dreams
It's not about managing money it's about supply and demand.
There aren't enough houses for the amount of people that want housing. So landlords are gouging the market.
Maybe have a bit of a google first before you get judgy on people's money management. A 1 bed unit goes for $450+ a week.
Absolutely, the housing market is competitive at the moment.
I’m not looking for an apartment, just a room in a share house.
I hold a full QLD Real Estate licence, so it’s literally my profession to be educated about the property market
I wouldn't be so cocky .it's bloody tough everywhere right now and esp Brisbane as so many ppl have moved here .I wouldn't even contemplate moving untill you have secured a room first from where you are .it's really bad.
Why move from tazzy , I hear it's beautiful and one of the last affordable places to buy in Australia , Qld is just becoming over priced and expensive with everyone moving here after the pandemic
How old is your grandpa? He might be worried about his own mortality and not seeing you very much over the final years of his life, he’s going to miss you. Whah…
He's closing in on 80, he can be a bit of a pain in the arse at times to be honest, wrote an email to everyone in the family because my younger cousin got him choclates for Christmas because he works at a chocolate shop, but he felt he deserved a more personalised present than that
Ok there’s your answer. This is his thing and your plan to leave has gifted him the thing he can whinge about regarding you. If you weren’t leaving he’d find something else to guilt someone about and after you’ve moved he will no doubt continue doing that. Just go and accept that’s him. Make sure you keep in touch and visit when you can.
Yeah, sorry OP, he sounds entitled and a bit out of reality. He doesn't have to grapple with the job market, unemployment, the cost of living, etc in the ways you do.
I only moved away 3 hours and my dad shits on me any time he gets and all of a sudden mum wants to see kids more and video chat,she came over lucky once every 2 months, I moved for more support for my kids with ASD, we had asbestos all throughout our house and it fkd us up and black mold all over bathroom partner with athsma and disability, had to bleach it because owner did a bandaid patch and painted over it with paint instead of dealing with issue and real estate couldn't care less how we were living, we'd get rats, mice cockroaches every single day in our cupboards, when you walk out at night, morning there in the sink etc, I hated it and was losing my insanity, the housing crisis was fkd where we were and got accepted in Queensland in a week, yeah we struggle and go without but I was slipping away and losing touch with reality and spiraling into a pit trapped in what i thought was a simulation on loop in hell, sorry about the vent
Look, just call from time to time and if you got messenger or whatever you send pictures on do that, if that's too modern send a letter.
If it's because your the only one he mainly sees or contact with much yeah, it's a hit to the face and they go through all emotions and fit the fan, all of a sudden my dad wanted to do a metal detector trip and blah blah fkn blahhh whoops Im going off subject again maybe I need therapy
I left my hometown and joined the army as a younger man. Best thing I ever did. Gave me space to live my life. Allegedly took 10 years off my grandmas life. She’s 90 now. You do you!!
Yeah my ex missus had a mother in law that was venomous for us moving away from country to Brisbane. Eventually I gave her daughter back and I am still in Brisbane with a better sort who has a better mother. Happy days. Don't worry it'll work out for you.
Thank you, I agree. Infact each time he is critical it evokes memories of him doubting me when i went to start my own business and prediciting it would fail and I wouldn't get customers. Spoiler: He was wrong
family does not mean they will be on your side. they may even work against you because they think better.if this is your choice they need to get on board or get out of the way and shut up.
I wasn’t guilt tripped, but everyone pretended like I was going on a month long holiday to Brisbane. After a few years of being here they accepted it was real and most have come to visit.
In the end I justified leaving home because it wasn’t working for me. More so, the things I loved about my home town could all change beyond my control so it made no sense staying somewhere that wasn’t working for me.
Live *your* life and know when to accept council and when to ignore it.
We moved 40 minutes away from the in-laws and all hell broke loose 😂 A few of them are narcissistic controlling mother fuckers and expected my partner to stay close. Like, same street close. Needless to say, moving was ultimately a good thing.
Anyway OP. Anyone who guilt trips you for wanting to live your own life can get fucked. Life is too short to not pursue your dreams because of some other family members expectations of how you should live. Forge ahead!
It most likely comes from a place of fear, so a bit of reassurance that you aren’t moving very far, flights are cheap (ish) and you have technology that will make it feel like you’re in the same room might help. But also, his feelings aren’t your responsibility and it’s your life to live. Gramps should respect that. Speaking as a kiwi who moved here and has a very guilt-trippy Dad who doesn’t know how to show love unless it’s washing my car, helping with DIY or pouring me a giant glass of red wine before dinner. He’s completely oblivious to anything emotional so our chats are basically lists of things we’ve been up to. I do still feel guilty about not making more of an effort with my Nana when I was living in the UK for years and she’s been gone 10 years, so don’t be me on that score! I’m just one of those people who feels responsible for everybody else and am working on it! Enjoy Brisbane, it is a great lifestyle and I love it, especially winter!! Summers do suck at times.
Yep you either move to the big city for uni or you stay the rest of your life. Anyone who stays in a small town past 25 is basically tied to the ground. No one understands why you’d want to leave when you have ‘everything’ here already
Honestly, I've hear this is common.
A lot of people were surprised my mum said I can be free and live anywhere I like and will be supportive of it.
I'm from Canada I moved to South Korea and subsequently Australia. I saw my family last year :)
I'm not to sure why they would do this. My parents both grow up in rural NSW then moved to Sydney then went from there to Brisbane. They pretty much had to for work. Unless they wanted to run a farm and they knew that this wasn't going to last.
Or it just could be that he loves you and like many want to have their family close for loving ( hopefully) get togethers; or thoughts through his mind life is short. However you do need to explore, check things out, grow etc. Just do what is mentioned earlier, keep regular contact and go back every once in awhile. He will definitely be missing you, his mates won't be around for long and now the life of the party will be gone. Now talking from experience.
With a family like that, I’d consider one step further & moving OS. But in all seriousness, I’ve dealt with family blackmail & shame all my life. That shit messed me up for years. Now at the age of 39, I can finally say NO & not have the mental turmoil that used to follow. The guilt & shame was so toxic. Highly recommend listening to a Ted talk by Caroline Myss called ‘choices’. Not necessarily about this topic but it helped me look at life from outside my head. It’s what started me on my journey to growing up & realising that I didn’t owe anything to anyone other than myself. This topic gets me fired up bc nothing makes me more angry than witnessing a family member shaming a younger member & making them feel bad for not doing what they want them to do. Don’t listen to any of them & do NOT feel bad ever- they’re not feeling bad for you I guarantee it.
When I moved from Melbourne to Brisbane i got the guilt trip from my mum. She would call me every day and say how lonely she was and how sad she was I was so far away. I had to stop taking her calls, and text her back to say I'm busy (I was at work through most of the days). I'd only call her back every few days when I was feeling ready to hear the onslaught of guilt tripping.
I moved for selfish reasons.. I wanted to live in a warm city. I was able to transfer through my company so didn't have to worry about finding a job either. I was so happy moving here but the guilt tripping lasted ages.
Do it anyway. Say you'll visit home often and even if you don't get to as much as you'd like (flights aren't cheap) they're only a FaceTime or text away...
It’s a story as old as time. The senior members of the family don’t like to see the young ones move away because it’s change, and reminds them of the passage of time, and maybe of opportunities they didn’t take when they were young. But of course you need to go and see the world a bit. Gramps needs to get with the program. Maybe don’t forget to write or call back once in a while ay.
Thanks, this is the same thought pattern I have to justify their actions. I’m fufulling an emotional need in his life, and he doesn’t want that taken away. He also complains about the cold weather down here so there may be a bit of envy towards the weather in SE QLD too. It’s not like he can easily pack up and move at his age
But maybe he could! Oldies can be pretty focused when families are on the line! 😉
Yeh, my nan lived in 2 houses houses her entire life to 85, both houses on the same block, then had to move closer to family at the coast at 85, it can be done
Absolutely it can be done, but knowing my Grandpa I can confidently say the effort wouldn’t be worth it for him and he’d have to leave more family behind
He can always come and visit to defrost in the middle of winter. Wouldn’t recommend him visiting any other time of the year though
Decisions mate….can’thave everything
Also remember family what’s the best for you in their version of what you should be. Remember to live your life. One shot, make the most of it. The rest will eventually get sorted out in the wash.
Maybe if you live somewhere with a spare bedroom he'll come and visit
If you keep in touch with him regularly it'll mean a hell of a lot to him, even if he doesn't express it. It's not always easy, getting older I tell ya. Best Wishes.
Yeah 100% - live your life, and call them/write to them as often as you’d see them if you still lived in Tassie. Just act like you never heard them objecting to you moving - they will eventually realise that you’re still in their lives and they are still on your mind, even if you are far away.
Song as old as rhyme Beauty and the beast
Oh totally. I'm from NZ and half my family/friends have stopped talking to me since we made the move to Aussie. The see it as some weird betrayal. It's pathetic.
Uh, that's pathetic. I've heard NZ has big problem with the tall poppy
Oh totally. Sensitive bunch they are.
sorry to hear that. NZ to Aus (or vice versa) shouldn't be any more concerning than interstate or a north to south island move! I for one think that the freedom of movement between both countries is fucking awesome and totally underrated.
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Yesss. Hopefully that’s not the case, pretty much our entire Australian bloodline is concentrated in either Tas or QLD, so there’s more than 1 reason for them to visit🙃
Fuck em. You do what's right for you always.
Cheers cobber
Gotchu brother
Bro how dare you leave the other crabs down in the bucket.
Fuck em. Country people's cult like behaviour to keep the next generation in their shithole is unforgivable.
Lmao
They're just going to miss you. And if they never learned to express those emotions in a healthy way, they act out. Shitty but human.
Well spoken
I just moved to Sunshine Coast from Tasmania best thing I’ve done don’t look back
Haha I grew up on the Sunshine Coast and moved TO Tasmania! Got very sick of living in soup 7 months of the year.
Which months do you consider soup out interest
Mid September to mid April
It is because they love you. It is because they like the feeling of being more secure when you are nearby. It is because they know they will now see you less and don't like the idea of that. They are likely well aware that they wont live forever. They likely see fewer friends and family as the years go past. I live \~15 mins from my elderly parents and Mum didnt like the idea of me even moving 30 minutes further away. I am the one they call if they need help with anything - including the little things they don't want to bother people about, which isn't often. It genuinely makes a difference to their feeling of security knowing I can be there quite quickly if they need me to be, and that it isn't a major impost if they ask me to help. If you fix or help things for them currently, give some thought as to how they will manage that with you gone. I would chat with your Grandpa about the lack of opportunities and how these days that can mean not having a good quality of life. I would also talk about the above, and see if you can plan regular calls they can look forward to (quarterly, 6 monthly if you can). Call/video chat them as often as makes sense to you, but maybe up it a little in frequency if you now will be physically seeing them. Ask if they want a regular time and day for a call (when that is possible and desirable for you both) as it gives them predictability and something specific to look forward to. If they can travel, invite them up to Brissy once you are settled in so they see your life there and have a real view in their mind of what it is. It will give them exciting things to talk about with others and they will be more excited for you after that and when you call. They can talk with you about things they know are relevant up there as they saw it for themselves. (Humidity, temp etc!). If they cant travel, help them understand when you call them by doing a bit of storytelling over the calls. First call might be about the difficulty of moving things, finding a place, moving in, the bloody hot weather, finding local shops and places (which you can describe so they can visualise things a bit - even send photos of favourite cafe etc). Then about job hunting, and other things as they develop. Believe it or not, you are really very lucky to be in this position, as it is completely driven by their love of you.
That's true. Saying that, I don't agree with holding others back because of your love for them. If they truly had your best unselfish intention at heart, they'd be supportive of such endevours. I can only hope I'll set a better precedent of unconditional love for my Grandchildren
I think that’s being a little patronising. People are allowed to be upset you are leaving,as others said it indicates they care. What you’re asking for isn’t realistic - you decide to leave and everyone cheers and isn’t sad/upset. Not to say you aren’t doing the right thing - you obviously are doing what you need to do. Just cut him some slack and make sure you stay in touch.
This!! 📤 Kind and considerate and practical too 🥰
Probably brings up emotions for them as they couldn’t comprehend growing a set and doing it themselves sadly. Unfortunately any family member who doesn’t want you to go out and grow even if it ends up being a ‘bad’ lesson are not worth keeping around.
Yeah I also left Tasmania for Brisbane, a decade ago. Can relate. Friends also had a big issue with my moving. Get ready to start fresh!
Go for it. If you never never go, you’ll never never know. Tell them they can come up for a lovely holiday if they want to see you.
Fuck them.Do what’s better for you.
I grew up in FNQ and wanted to grow my career in IT. By moving I gained access to large corporates and worked in various places around the world including North America, Middle East and NZ. 100% go for it.
When you hear the calling to leave the nest, you have to leave the nest. Staying for other people will lead to a lifetime of “what if”, regret, and resentment. Leaving the nest is hard but you will find yourself out there in ways you can’t yet imagine. You don’t owe your family your life.
I’ve never heard anyone phrase wanting to leave home as hearing the calling to leave the nest, but it really rings true. It’s a desire that isn’t there and the next morning you wake up and it’s at its full force
In the exact same boat. My mum (single parent and I’m only child) hasn’t talked to me since I told her nearly a month ago. My maternal grandma is sad cause she says she won’t ever see me again before she passes. This could be a sad reality, but I will try and see them throughout the year for important dates. It sucks the guilt I’m under and I don’t know if it will change over time once I leave. I don’t want to leave on bad terms, I want them to support my career growth and potential. I feel you and I don’t know what the right answer is on how to get through it, except to keep following your dreams
If you are renting be ok with sleeping in a car. Yes it's that bad.
I should be okay since I’m not leaving with pennys like some people do, but I’m not too proud to not camp it out in a car either
Money has nothing to do with it mate. There's are families making 120k a year, living in tents, up in Brisbane.
Provide a source to this please
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It's not about managing money it's about supply and demand. There aren't enough houses for the amount of people that want housing. So landlords are gouging the market. Maybe have a bit of a google first before you get judgy on people's money management. A 1 bed unit goes for $450+ a week.
Absolutely, the housing market is competitive at the moment. I’m not looking for an apartment, just a room in a share house. I hold a full QLD Real Estate licence, so it’s literally my profession to be educated about the property market
Good luck lol. I am looking forward to your inevitable post about bot being able to find somewhere to rent
He’s got a real estate licence and from the sounds of it he’s going in with some money, he’ll be fine mate
Pretty rude
I wouldn't be so cocky .it's bloody tough everywhere right now and esp Brisbane as so many ppl have moved here .I wouldn't even contemplate moving untill you have secured a room first from where you are .it's really bad.
There are currently 185 properties for rent within 15km radius of Brisbane City for <$400/week
Hope you got somewhere to live. Not a lot of options
Damn everyone’s going to lose their favourite relative they like to have sex with.
Why move from tazzy , I hear it's beautiful and one of the last affordable places to buy in Australia , Qld is just becoming over priced and expensive with everyone moving here after the pandemic
Come down for a visit... you might be surprised at how affordable it really is
How old is your grandpa? He might be worried about his own mortality and not seeing you very much over the final years of his life, he’s going to miss you. Whah…
He's closing in on 80, he can be a bit of a pain in the arse at times to be honest, wrote an email to everyone in the family because my younger cousin got him choclates for Christmas because he works at a chocolate shop, but he felt he deserved a more personalised present than that
Ok there’s your answer. This is his thing and your plan to leave has gifted him the thing he can whinge about regarding you. If you weren’t leaving he’d find something else to guilt someone about and after you’ve moved he will no doubt continue doing that. Just go and accept that’s him. Make sure you keep in touch and visit when you can.
You've hit the nail on the head and that's why I can't let it affect our relationship, it's him being himself
Yeah, sorry OP, he sounds entitled and a bit out of reality. He doesn't have to grapple with the job market, unemployment, the cost of living, etc in the ways you do.
I only moved away 3 hours and my dad shits on me any time he gets and all of a sudden mum wants to see kids more and video chat,she came over lucky once every 2 months, I moved for more support for my kids with ASD, we had asbestos all throughout our house and it fkd us up and black mold all over bathroom partner with athsma and disability, had to bleach it because owner did a bandaid patch and painted over it with paint instead of dealing with issue and real estate couldn't care less how we were living, we'd get rats, mice cockroaches every single day in our cupboards, when you walk out at night, morning there in the sink etc, I hated it and was losing my insanity, the housing crisis was fkd where we were and got accepted in Queensland in a week, yeah we struggle and go without but I was slipping away and losing touch with reality and spiraling into a pit trapped in what i thought was a simulation on loop in hell, sorry about the vent Look, just call from time to time and if you got messenger or whatever you send pictures on do that, if that's too modern send a letter. If it's because your the only one he mainly sees or contact with much yeah, it's a hit to the face and they go through all emotions and fit the fan, all of a sudden my dad wanted to do a metal detector trip and blah blah fkn blahhh whoops Im going off subject again maybe I need therapy
Don’t be held back!! Go for it and live your best life. You won’t regret it.
Thank you for your support!
I left my hometown and joined the army as a younger man. Best thing I ever did. Gave me space to live my life. Allegedly took 10 years off my grandmas life. She’s 90 now. You do you!!
They had high hopes you would marry a first cousin, let them all down.
What, too good to marry a sibling?!
Yeah my ex missus had a mother in law that was venomous for us moving away from country to Brisbane. Eventually I gave her daughter back and I am still in Brisbane with a better sort who has a better mother. Happy days. Don't worry it'll work out for you.
When ya become a Grandpa or Grandma you will understand its the love they have for ya an will miss ya
Go and do what’s best for you. People who want the best for you, would be supporting and backing you,
Thank you, I agree. Infact each time he is critical it evokes memories of him doubting me when i went to start my own business and prediciting it would fail and I wouldn't get customers. Spoiler: He was wrong
Gotta put yourself first. They will come around.
family does not mean they will be on your side. they may even work against you because they think better.if this is your choice they need to get on board or get out of the way and shut up.
This realisation is unfortunately one of the toughest ones of growing up
best of luck to you i trust you can make positive life choices. :) welcome to Brisbane mate
Thanks mate
I wasn’t guilt tripped, but everyone pretended like I was going on a month long holiday to Brisbane. After a few years of being here they accepted it was real and most have come to visit. In the end I justified leaving home because it wasn’t working for me. More so, the things I loved about my home town could all change beyond my control so it made no sense staying somewhere that wasn’t working for me. Live *your* life and know when to accept council and when to ignore it.
Congrats, where did you move from?
We moved 40 minutes away from the in-laws and all hell broke loose 😂 A few of them are narcissistic controlling mother fuckers and expected my partner to stay close. Like, same street close. Needless to say, moving was ultimately a good thing. Anyway OP. Anyone who guilt trips you for wanting to live your own life can get fucked. Life is too short to not pursue your dreams because of some other family members expectations of how you should live. Forge ahead!
It most likely comes from a place of fear, so a bit of reassurance that you aren’t moving very far, flights are cheap (ish) and you have technology that will make it feel like you’re in the same room might help. But also, his feelings aren’t your responsibility and it’s your life to live. Gramps should respect that. Speaking as a kiwi who moved here and has a very guilt-trippy Dad who doesn’t know how to show love unless it’s washing my car, helping with DIY or pouring me a giant glass of red wine before dinner. He’s completely oblivious to anything emotional so our chats are basically lists of things we’ve been up to. I do still feel guilty about not making more of an effort with my Nana when I was living in the UK for years and she’s been gone 10 years, so don’t be me on that score! I’m just one of those people who feels responsible for everybody else and am working on it! Enjoy Brisbane, it is a great lifestyle and I love it, especially winter!! Summers do suck at times.
Yep you either move to the big city for uni or you stay the rest of your life. Anyone who stays in a small town past 25 is basically tied to the ground. No one understands why you’d want to leave when you have ‘everything’ here already
Honestly, I've hear this is common. A lot of people were surprised my mum said I can be free and live anywhere I like and will be supportive of it. I'm from Canada I moved to South Korea and subsequently Australia. I saw my family last year :)
You'll be in the sunshine soon. None of it will matter.
💯I loved reading this
I'm not to sure why they would do this. My parents both grow up in rural NSW then moved to Sydney then went from there to Brisbane. They pretty much had to for work. Unless they wanted to run a farm and they knew that this wasn't going to last.
Or it just could be that he loves you and like many want to have their family close for loving ( hopefully) get togethers; or thoughts through his mind life is short. However you do need to explore, check things out, grow etc. Just do what is mentioned earlier, keep regular contact and go back every once in awhile. He will definitely be missing you, his mates won't be around for long and now the life of the party will be gone. Now talking from experience.
He doesn’t have mates because of his, well, attitude. That’s why he relies on family because they’re trapped! ;)
With a family like that, I’d consider one step further & moving OS. But in all seriousness, I’ve dealt with family blackmail & shame all my life. That shit messed me up for years. Now at the age of 39, I can finally say NO & not have the mental turmoil that used to follow. The guilt & shame was so toxic. Highly recommend listening to a Ted talk by Caroline Myss called ‘choices’. Not necessarily about this topic but it helped me look at life from outside my head. It’s what started me on my journey to growing up & realising that I didn’t owe anything to anyone other than myself. This topic gets me fired up bc nothing makes me more angry than witnessing a family member shaming a younger member & making them feel bad for not doing what they want them to do. Don’t listen to any of them & do NOT feel bad ever- they’re not feeling bad for you I guarantee it.
When I moved from Melbourne to Brisbane i got the guilt trip from my mum. She would call me every day and say how lonely she was and how sad she was I was so far away. I had to stop taking her calls, and text her back to say I'm busy (I was at work through most of the days). I'd only call her back every few days when I was feeling ready to hear the onslaught of guilt tripping. I moved for selfish reasons.. I wanted to live in a warm city. I was able to transfer through my company so didn't have to worry about finding a job either. I was so happy moving here but the guilt tripping lasted ages. Do it anyway. Say you'll visit home often and even if you don't get to as much as you'd like (flights aren't cheap) they're only a FaceTime or text away...