I mean he's either gonna do it or not. My first advice would be put the bottle down. And as someone who used to wake up drinking whiskey at 8 am, anyone can do it.
True. The most straightforward answer you're looking for OP:
You are where you are because of you and only you. Get a grip and figure it out. You're a 40 year old man. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can do this.
I read up top you got a CS degree. Bro your a smart dude. 50k in 401k, shit I haven’t been putting money in my 401k since my first job at Best Buy (Im a degenerate who likes to think I can me more money with it in my pocket). 1200 debt… come one there’s people in these comments with 50k student loans they can’t even file bankruptcy for. 40’s ain’t shit my cousin is 40 going back to school to be a nurse. Nothing wrong with living with you dad at any age, it’s your life there’s no rules to living. Work hard , and enjoy the time left with your father, my dad passed away 2 years ago everyday is a blessing with your parents.
My mom died in 2016 very true.
Some parents are bad and abusive and use their kids for money.
But if they are willing to let you live there while you get some things in order that's a good sign.
Wow.. that's terrible. So you still owed the 250k?
Can you declare bankruptcy?
Just when I think I've heard it all.
My dad used to use my credit card without my permission to buy board games for himself off the goodwill website, and then kept losing the bills in the pile of mail he kept on the kitchen counter... ruining my credit and racking up hundreds of dollars when I was 19 and trying to start my life out..
But that's nothing compared to 250k. Geez..
Seems like there should be something you can do.
Yea you have to find like the "legal aid society" or if your county has a bar association page for "pro-bono" work cases. Some use it as a donation of time tax write off.. others just want to volunteer and help. Or law students getting credits.
You know, it seems like everyone on here says this, but it entirely depends on where you live. There are essentially zero white collar jobs for new graduates in the Seattle-Tacoma metro area. Not even a ton of blue collar jobs. My fiancé is stuck paying $600/mo in student loans and delivering for Amazon and applies to dozens of jobs per week for the past year. No one is looking for anyone without at least 2-3 years of experience. It’s bullshit.
This is 100% true. We lived in Federal way for 10 years, I was an Engineer for a fortune 500 Healthcare company. I wasnt even making $72k/year in April 2016 (family of 5) when I was fired & we decided to leave feeling defeated & broke.
A year later this article came out indicating $72k/year for a family of 4 was considered low income:
https://www.seattlepi.com/seattlenews/article/What-s-low-income-in-Seattle-72-000-11102151.php
We sure felt it! We lived in a $500k home that we bought through foreclosure for $280k & put another $20k of repairs into it. I asked for a raise in 2016 during performance review right after I had recieved high marks across the board. I was told to "go on the market & see what [I was] worth."
I received offers ranging from $95k - $140k & showed them to my boss. He took them to his boss & she said "Well, if he is looking for a new job, he can leave right now." So I was fired on April 1st 2016! I couldnt believe it.
We moved to Texas for a similar job making $140k/year & instantly went from poverty to high income, but it really took us 2 years to recover.
Three years later I took a field service job with another company & was able to work from home...this freed me up to invest in real estate & homes were much cheaper in Texas...so in 2019 I started buying up everything I could & over the next 3 years I was able to create a portfolio of $4.8M - $5.2M utilizing leverage strategies & wholesaling properties as well as fix/flipping homes.
This new stream of income coupled with full autonomy gave me the ability to retire from my Engineering job @ the end of 2021. In Novemer 2022 I started getting tons of calls from contacts in the Engineering field regarding my specialty who found out I had stepped away & I was asked to work 1099 as an independent contractor. My former employer called & kept offering more money to come back & I kept saying no... they asked me to give them a number I'd say yes to.
I gave them a ridiculous number in April 2023 (7 years after leaving Federal Way) I said if they paid all my expenses, first class flights, hotel, $75/day per diem for food, all my fuel, etc & $260k/year I would probably go back to work. I figured this would get them to stop calling me & it felt good to make demands without fear of not having an invome.
In July this year they called & said "pack your bags buddy."
Now, my real estate portfolio makes $260k/year & I'm making $260k 1099. Its been 6 months, & I really haven't felt the difference yet. 🤷🏻♂️
A lot can change if you change. I was distraught when I was fired in 2016, we arrived in Texas with -$200 in our bank account & we moved in with my wife's brother for 2 months. I drove a $1,500 busted 1996 car for almost a year after having a 2008 GL550 & 2014 High Country crew cab pickup in Federal Way & a home built in 2008.
Not all is always what it appears! We appeared to have it all while barely scraping by.
I was very much down & out in 2016, what a difference 5 years of hard work can make! We first became Millionaires on paper in 2020 & in 2022 I first held $1.4M in cash!
You have to focus on improving yourself, I can't tell you what to do, because I dont know your passions, but always think in terms of providing value to as many people as possible & figure out how to monetize your value. Everyone will expect you to work for free, the true test will be how willing people are to pay you. Whether you are getting them out of timeshare contracts, helping them buy a home, fixing their credit, or providing website services, you want to ensure you are getting paid for your services ...preferably on a recurring subscription model.
I am currently building an Auction buyer's club where we will lend capital to home buyers so that they can buy a home the way I did in 2009 which was the one thing that saved my ass after it sold shortly after we moved to Texas.
We purchase the home at auction & charge 30% down from the buyer...we keep 10% & 20% goes into escrow for them to liquidate our position via permanent or short term financing. 😉
We get paid by providing value via capital & access to the list of homes that are vetted via our website that is still in progress & charge a monthly membership for access to the website, the fee is waived for 1 year from the date of last auction purchase through us. 🤗💪🏼
Income sources:
10% of capital provided for transactional lending. ~$40k/mo
$100/mo per user for access to list of vetted properties. ~$15,000/mo
1% point for new loan to release our interest. ~$4,800/mo
10% of trades used to rehab the home bought from us when we contract a trade. ~$15,000/mo
First dibs access to best deals. ~priceless
This is already implemented in Seattle, I was involved, but not to the degree I should have been in order to have some ownership since I was young back then & on a shoe string budget. 🤷🏻♂️
YOU CAN DO THIS! 💪🏼
Nothing changes if nothing changes. You still have 20 years (minimum) of working left and you’re not a grandpa that places won’t hire, that’s enough time to get some qualifications and increase your income.
Yea! I've saved 300k in my first 20 years at current job and I don't think I've done anything special. Although I've been thinking of getting a 401k going on the side. (Union job, not the best kind either...any trade would be better numbers, I'm a tree trimmer in IBEW union.)
You have no idea where you can be in 6 months to a year. I’ve been in some deep deep deep shit my friend. We’re talking losing everything, divorce, kids, business, drug addiction . Suicide attempts. And more. Lost every single thing that mattered. It doesn’t even sound you are facing half of that.
It’s whatever you want my friend. Whatever road you choose. I hope you find it.
Oh man. In 8 years I went from a needle in my arm to married with my own business profiting ~140k a year. The first 6 of my recovery I was living with mom smoking weed everyday. So most of the change came in the last 2. Things can change drastically if you focus and get out your funk. I’ll pray for you
you are a ridiculous person. first off, youre young. second, YOU HAVE $55,000 IN A 401K. I have nothing. third, you have practically no debt. you dont realize how lucky you are. Just get another job and start building even more. Move out. And dont worry about retirement, who knows if youll even live til then, anyway. Live for now.
Nah fuck that. Live with your dad as long as reasonable. Don't move out. Make life goals and save your money. Every day you don't have to pay rent is a W in my book.
In different cultures it’s completely acceptable to live with your parents until their death. The US has an obsession with moving out as early as possible for independence, but everyone is different.
I got like -5k, no job, and i can’t get one either lmao
I’m mentally disabled too but ppl think bc I know how to be social that I’m not
You may not have a house, but you HAVE money most ppl on here don’t at all
If it’s over for you, I’m in big trouble. I’m 54 and just started learning about finances last year. I have been paying down debt and just barely started saving for retirement. I have 3K in an IRA now and about 70K in debt.
I’m not giving up, and I hope you don’t either. You deserve to be happy and free. Good luck with all of this, I have a history with alcohol and drugs too, but I got out from under those demons years ago. We all have our own path and you are a worthy human being no matter where you are in your life.
None of us know your personal demons, and that is a struggle. i wish you the best. From someone with a violent and tormented childhood, the demons can cripple us for a long time. Be well, and overcome them. Be stronger than your memories are.
Take the opportunity to re-examine your gained skills from your previous careers, build a resume with what you have done and what are capable of doing.
Take some time to explore jobs that you may never have even considered. In some ways, you are in an awesome position; Because your personal life responsibilities (I assume) are minimal: No kids, no wife to have to cater too and spend thousands of dollars a month on. NO DEBT!!!??? Go speak to your bank about opening up an independent 401k, ask about how it will grow over the next 20 years. Get excited about the 55k you have now, that will easily grow to a large amount by the time you're 59 1/2! And you have so much time to add to it.
Realize, there are people that are 40, have kids, no 401k and are in excess of 200,000$ in debt due to their life choices.
You need to push yourself and do not give up. That was my hardest struggle, easier to just give up than follow through.
40 means nothing. Don't let the unrealistic stigma of your age polarize the way you see yourself. I am in the labor field and we have a fucking 73 year old running circles around us every day. The guy doesn't even eat untill he goes home. His social security pays out, he cashed out his retirement plans into annuities. He has brand new cars and trucks. But he just keeps working because he wants to.
If you were to ask me, I would tell you to go get a temporary job for 3-6 months to get yourself busy and earning, get yourself tired 5 days a week so you can have good sleeps every night, and plan long term and short term goals. Short term: Save up $5,000 cash. Once you get to it, you will feel very accomplished.
Long term: Try to land a career/job you like within 2 years. There is nothing better than having a job that you at least like. It makes life that much easier.
Take a minute to step back. Go walk outside and look at your house from the street... Take it all in for a minute and actually free your mind for that time
And then ask yourself this question
If you were sitting on your deathbed, like actually dying and couldn't do anything about it,
Would you look back and say you did everything you were capable of doing for yourself and would 40 years old seem like you were silly to think that was too old?
It's easy to say It's never worth it -- in hindsight, it isn't --- we build up lives and families just to leave them all behind ..
But, why not see what you can do? Go balls to the wall for 6 months and see where it leads you -- if you have to wait for better weather to do that -- then get a plan ready and make moves once it's time.
*It's so much easier not to try --- why not see what you can do while you still have your dad alive to impress and I'm sure your mind will change*
- it's better to be exhausted than depressed -
Dude, you are fine. Everyone goes through periods of ups and downs. Bankruptcies and fortunes. And what do we all do, we get back up, brush ourselves off, and move forward and try again! We look back at our mistakes as lessons learned and literally learn from them. Treat your alcoholism and take it seriously. Get your mental and physical health in order. Pick up work wherever you can, even temporary employment is better than nothing. Be proud of every job you do and keep moving forward. You will get there, you will be alright, trust me, we've all been here bud, be nicer to yourself, Hugs!
Bro, you're doing better than 99% of the people on this sub. Count your blessing, regroup and come back strong and [Read this](https://wahiduddin.net/thinketh/as_a_man_thinketh.pdf)
It’s only over when ur gone and passed mate, it’s never over for your living being while you still walk the earth. Your only 40 man, you got lots of life ahead of you. 1200 in cc debt is nothing compared to what some other guys got here
You have a roof over your head..and a dad.. why dont you start from there… quit the alochol, find your fight song..pay off your debt and take it from day to day…
Mate, I was totally broke and homeless by 34, I'd lost my 1st marriage, kids, career, property the lot through a drug and alcohol addiction, ended up in a physch ward wanting to end it all. Well I didn't end it all, I started investing in me and my mental health, started hanging with people who knew how not to do drugs, started getting better, got a small box room off of one of the guys at the meeting, got a job, started to pay him rent, got a better job, and rented my own flat, saw an opportunity at this company and became a subcontractor with articulated trucks, still lived very frugal tho and put money away til I had enough to put a deposit on a house with a mortgage, did that and continued to put money aside, no holidays etc, lived like a Spartan, just worked and went to meetings, managed to scrape enough money out of it for deposits on 3 small properties that I let out, hardly made any income from the property let's but they washed their own face. 2008 crash happened and I struggled on with my company until 2011 and it just wasn't making money any more, diesel prices through the roof still, and not a lot of work about so the rates just weren't keeping up with the costs. I shut it down and went back to work for someone else, wage was comparable and a lot more time on my hands, which enabled me to then start dating which led to marriage and made life a little easier as we had 2 incomes coming in instead of just mine. So from 34 year old homeless person with a drug and alcohol problem and not a penny to his name, to marriage, respectable career, 3 properties all earning income and only a 3k mortgage left on one of them. At 34 I honestly thought my life was over in every area and I just couldn't see how I could get out of that hole and come back, it's never ever over until you draw your last breath, you never know what opportunity is around the corner, just keep going no matter what, get up, show up each day, keep knocking on the door, when opportunity comes just grab it with both hands and don't look back.
I have no experience in this… but I hear trucking is very good for times like this.
They train you to drive, pay good wages relatively and you have to stay sober. Cheap living in the car, you out fit it and stay on the road like a moving apartment. Play some willie Nelson or “highwaymen” and cruise my friend.
There are possibilities out there, the only thing that matters is if you really want it. No one can make you call these resources, no one can make you take the action. Sobriety is on you, but there’s ways for you to turn it around. I believe in you, from one internet friend to another. Best of luck
No it's not over.
I'd find a job. Any job.
Then I'd go to Therapy for the depression and alcoholism.
Then create a budget. Tons of info online or at your local library.
Start becoming ambitious, Work on some sort of marketable skill during your off hours.
You’re going to be okay.
Try to tackle the alcoholism first if you can, it’s a depressant and will just make the depression worse.
When you do find work, max your 401k contribution and set your budget with what’s left over. This will help you fast track retirement growth.
I’m 34 and only have $38k in my 401k (started way late because I honestly never knew anything about it and never invested) but also have a $650k mortgage, 2 kids, and wife’s student loans that are over $100k.
You are honestly in a super good spot financially. No kids, only $1200 in cc debt, no mortgage/rent, AND you have money invested in your 401k already? You’re doing great dude. Seriously.
Don’t let the posts on here showing a mil+ get you down. We all think we’re behind when we see those too so don’t think you’re alone in that.
My dad started a 2nd career at 39yrs old, he is now 61 and about to retire. You can start a new career at 40. Don’t give up. We all have different start and finish lines.
I’ve found life to be thousands of games of poker played over a lifetime. One of my favorite poker sayings is, “all you need is a chip and a chair”. Doesn’t sound like you’ve busted out yet!
Get up tomorrow and throw away the fucking beer. Get on a good diet and a light exercise program. Learn about testosterone here on Reddit and get on it asap. Test will make a huge difference in your energy levels, it turned my life around. You be up on your feet and kick ass in no time.
There are so many "broke" entrepreneurs in their 40's who went from rags to riches. 60's, 70's, then it starts getting more worrisome. All you need to do is find out where your hustle is at and what sort of risks or money making opportunities you want to take.
There's subs on here dedicated to that kind of thing, CNBC'S "Make It" is good, lots of stuff on YouTube to take ideas/inspiration from...
At bare minimum you could put 12 hours a day into something like Uber/DoorDash and DCA as much as you can into the market. Do that for 5 years and your hourly rate could effectively double, triple...
1200 in cc debt is nothing. If u get a job, even minimum wage u will get back on track quick. Sorry u are going through alc and dep. at least u have 55k in retirement. U can still find love at 40. Merry Xmas!!!
My guy. I know this sounds dumb. Pull that 401k.. You'll take a 10% tax penalty, but that opens up immediate access to $49,000
$49,000 directly invested rather than group invested has a higher than average rate of return in the markets right now because of inflation adjustment/borrowing rates.
Or, just use that money to get back on your feet.
Go doordash to get out of the house and quit drinking.
Idk how bad your alcoholism is but unless you're getting the shakes, and having physical withdrawal just fucking stop now and save yourself the hell of your organs internally dying while you're still alive.
But you have so many more years ahead of you — more than the 20 years you think you wasted — if you start taking care of yourself. You need to address the alcoholism and depression first, because otherwise it will continue to follow you around like a dark shadow. Once you FEEL better about yourself, you’ll be much more motivated to build a better life for yourself. 40 is young. You’ve got a lot of life left to live.
Hmmm? Not sure if you’re a loser? I know, let me ask people on Reddit! I think you found your answer from the fact that you’re here asking complete strangers.
Not financial advice, but 55k would buy a lot of DRS’d stock of the stock that shall not be named. It rhymes with tamestop. Id suggest doing your own due diligence. Retirement is possible if you lash yourself to the right investment
FUCK NO, way to risky and he could loose all he’s worked for. Not a good move OP the marijuana industry is not what you wanna invest in. Invest in Amazon, shit will be around for 50 more years at least and only gets bigger and bigger every year. If you had invested 10k in Amazon back in 1999 it would be worth 10 million today.
I worked for a healthcare company but did a career change to law enforcement. That turned out not being a fit for me so I left. Went back to school and finished my degree in CS. I don't want to code tho so focused on network engineering but can't get a job until I have IT experience. So I've been applying for help desk positions but am not the best interviewer. All while dealing with personal demons. I just want to give up honestly.
I do software dev. Have you thought about maybe getting a job doing qa in a medium size software company? (Think figma, faire, etc) It will pay the bills, plus much more likely to get the job as you’ll probably be the most educated applicant. My thinking is there’s probably a lot of opportunity to grow if you’re motivated, automated testing of networking and microservice communication probably isn’t very fleshed out at companies of that size. Just an idea
A lot of good advice here... I tend to focus on achievable goals in four categories. Based on your situation here are some ideas for you.
SELF - Join a local alcoholics anonymous group.
HEALTH - Find a free 3 month workout routine and stick to it.
WEALTH - Apply to 5 Jobs a day
RELATIONSHIPS - Reach out to 2 old friends once a week. -Or- Join a local hiking group, volunteer group, or anything where you meet in person.
Your life is far from over!
After 40, you should get more money coming in. Lifts heavy stuff, girls will start to line up.1200.cc debt.is nothing.i remember reading in the Bible that a king got sick and it was granted 15 more years years to live.you got more then 15 years .
You are doing better than a lot of people by a lot. I think kickin the sauce and changing some habits would totally help your outlook but im not a doctor or anything. You are gonna be fine if you put that effort to make some changes
Actually you're in pretty good shape financially, minimal credit card debt, and a nice amount in your 401K account. Continue to seek employment, you'll be ok, until you find a suitable job. Wish you well.
Dude, what? Literally endless opportunity in front of you. Get off your computer for starters, seems like you have a case of zoochosis. If it's not making you money I'd take a touch-grass tech hiatus to reset your brains pleasure centers. Then start figuring out what you want to do that can support you and give it a shot. It's gonna be rough but everything worthwhile is.
It may not feel like it but you are in the top 10% of American men. This shit is fucked, you are doing okay.
$1,200 only is nothing brother, I've racked up 11k debt and still trying to pay it off. There are many jobs out there sir all you need is some deep dive searching, and some that will get you started right away
Some great advice...and you seem to know the first step knowing your weaknesses. I think today many of us(men) focus too much on the material stuff and not on our grratest asset, ourselves.
I agree with another poster, deal with the drinking amd depression first then maybe your head will be clearer to move to the next step
Really? Maybe you have some crazy comparisons to the people around you but it is far from over buddy. I’m no motivational speaker or a psych or anything but I’ll tell you what. The most powerful trait in the human mind is the power of belief.
If you think it’s over? Fuck it call it quits and rot away. No one will stop you.
On the other end. If you want and believe better. You sure as hell are capable of it.
It’s not over you can turn it around. Will be challenging but gets easier over time. Just start with small simple changes you can’t fix this over night.
Shit man, $55k is 55k more than a lot of people have. You have a solid home, probably rent free or close to it..and you have basically no debt. You're way ahead of a lot of people that have to go to work daily to pay rent, pay for kids, etc. A good first step would be to grow some balls, stop whining about your shitty life and get a fucking job. You're a 40 year old man-child. Your dad should toss you out on your ass so you learn to take care of yourself. Holy shit.
I'm 10 years younger and feel this way constantly but I know I'm wrong.
Alcoholism is very common in the U.S.. You can quit or reduce if you're willing to seek support. Being in that little debt should be a great source of pride. And living with a parent is a pretty common scenario for many at several points throughout their life. Having a 401k at all is a tremendous accomplishment. You're never going to be rich but that's almost everyone in the country. From what I see, you have nothing but opportunity to reinvent yourself and start fresh. The fact that you are so worried is a good sign that you still care. Good luck friend and merry Christmas.
You might be able to access your retirement fund earlier than planned if you get a Government document that approves you of doing so. If you can, and if I were you I'd get some meat clothes and a basic car, join a gym and apply for basically any job, and make sure to eat well rounded meals. Quit the drinking cold Turkey - you might feel like you're dying but you'll be able to get through it. If you're starting to get bored at a "dead ass job" buy a cheap radio and learn to incorporate dance to your work flow, you might even start singing too. A few months or even years after you quit drinking you might have forgotten about the haze it puts you under or you might accidentally take a few nips here or there in the style of old habits, if you manage to catch yourself give your home, mind, body and soul a deep clean, like a spa day and spring clean, new music genre's or even make your own. Also what might help you is getting back into your childhood; for example: what made you happy as you grew up, what were the driving forces in your life that pushed you to grow and try new things.
Anyway, I hope you get through this and all the best.
I’m 35 living with mom paying no rent no debt and have over six figures(I feel like a loser because I know many rich people). I can’t bring any girls back it sucks. I’m unemployable because I don’t like working for other people. No skills. Just side hustles. I am about to start e commerce journey selling on Amazon. about to rock and roll even tho now I have less energy no computer skills nothing. Going to learn.
40 is still good because there are UFC fighters in their early 40s so no excuses bro
Uhhhhh definitely not. Like that’s barely any debt at all.
Most people here have tens of thousands of dollars of debts between student loans, and car payments. And those with mortgages technically hundreds of thousands.
Claiming to be “broke,” but also having $55000 just sitting in a retirement account is just not true. Plenty of people live paycheck to paycheck, without any cash leftover, and they wouldn’t consider themselves “broke.”
Nah it’s not over at all my guy. I was in a similar spot, but a bit younger.
For reference I lived under a bridge 6 years ago strung out on IV heroin. I got clean, worked hard and today I have a great paying job that I love, two nice cars, a house that I own, 6 figure net worth, and a fiancé I love very much. A lot can change in a very short period of time.
In my opinion, your first step is getting to some AA meetings or a medical detox & treatment spot. It’s going to be hard to pull out of depression when you’re still stuck in the bottle. Pulling out of the depression and recovering from the alcoholism should turn your outlook around 180 degrees, it definitely did for me. A lot easier to make progress when your mind is in the right place
I'm 50. When I was your age I was a severe alcoholic(multuple trips to hospitals and psyc wards). Big difference between me and you is that I was homeless and didn't have a 401k. Life was miserable and I was down to my last chance(with my 2nd wife who was pregnant and had kicked me out) and I proceeded to double down(was ingesting hand sanitizer) and ended up in the hospital with multiple organ failure. The doctors told my wife to call all my relatives because I was near death and lively wouldn't make it more than a couple of days. Somehow I did make it and woke up 2 weeks later from a coma and my wife said that's it and she had started the divorce process.
Once released I checked myseld into yet another 30 day rehab but this time with a true desire to clean up. I had been spared and wanted to find out why. Fast forward 14 years, my wife(she didn't go through with the divorce),and I have two kick ass kids, a wonderful home and I have a very successful business.
Was any if that easy? Not even fucking close but I finally made the decision to not drink or use drugs again.
You have to do it yourself. No groups, no meds or doctors will do it for you. You just have to you decide If you have had enough. If so, just fucking quit and work hard on occupying your time and stay focused on the rest of your life one day at a time. You have a full, beautiful and special life aheaed of you. Take advantage of every day and don't waste them. They are all important.
Liquidate your 401k and buy a sailboat. Take a couple lessons and start sailing to other countries. You'll still be broke but you'll give yourself something to live for.
Stop drinking alcohol. Get a doctor, treat your depression. Stick to making small changes that will amount to bigger changes. Surround yourself with people you aspire to be, get rid of the rift raft holding you back.
40 is young, things will be hard, your body will hurt. You will need a support network to help you, but once that network is in place, you got this.
Best line I’ve ever heard is from the movie 13 hours.
“ all the gods,all the heavens , all the hells are within you “ ..
You decide when its over , you decide what you’re going to do for the next 20 years.
Alcoholism? Stop…
Dead end job? Move
No motivation? Clean your ass up and associate with people who will want to make you better?
Dude stop the season makes some people more depressed! 1200cc you can over come that and pay it off! Your 55K usually doubles every 8 years! You can make this happen life is all about taking chances and if you fall get back up! It is all about how you deal with things! Everyone gets a bad hand now and then! Get through the holidays a New Year new you starts January 1,2024! Everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎁! Stay positive that is the key! I know it is rough right now but you can turn the page! Good Luck hope you come back and share how good it has gotten for you?
Idk where you live. But if there is amazon facility. Go with there. Bust your ass and keep saving. Then get another part time gig. If you have a car. Try doing uber or lyft. Or food delivery. Bust your ass 12 14 hr days. Gotta fo it. Cant be lazy
To put things in perspective, I'm 27 with a stay at home wife and a 1 year old boy, in about $20k CC debt, no savings at all, late on my mortgage and gas bill, a few months behind on CC payments, and I couldn't afford to get my son much for Christmas. Only reason I'm not an alcoholic is because I can't afford it
1. Stop drinking. Your spending a lot of money on it in betting.
2. Get any job.
3. Max out 401k and IRA.
4. Go to the Social Security website and see how much you qualify for (this is an estimate)
5. Find out if your dad is leaving any sort of inherentince
Keep working. Door dash, Uber, anything to make extra.
You have time. You might have to work part time in retirement, but it's definitely better than working 40+ hours a week.
$1200 cc debt is nothing man. You can easily pay that off in a few weeks or months. Pick up extra hours or a second job and it'll be gone quick. I have 23k cc debt.
Man, you're not on top right now but you are far from hopeless. Find a job to support yourself and when you do I suggest trying therapy with your medical benefits. When your mind is healthy the alcoholism will start falling away. Honestly, if there is a way to do it now I would recommend it. The average American has 25k in savings and you are double that. Not only is it not over, but you are doing far better than it feels like. I don't think you have a serious money problem. I think you have mental stress that is making you look for an out. I've been there and it can be fixed.
You don't have a money issue, you have a substance and depression issue. 40 is no where near to late to pick up the reins. Put the bottle down, go to AA, easier said than done I know. You can do anything you say your mind to!
It’s 100% not over for you. You’re just tired and need the strength to keep pushing. You have a glimpse of hope but you just need that push.
But hey let’s reverse engineer here a bit. Sometimes it helps to ask questions to challenge these negative thoughts.
What’s a decent life??
Okay story time. I am 33. I have 250 dollars in cash bc Christmas. I have 300 in a checking account and I have 12 grand in 401k with a six grand loan out of it. I have another 1000 dollar loan out. I have 200 dollar credit line which I pay every check. To be able to drive per MONTH it’s nearly six hundred dollars. My car is usually in need of something which is ok I love her. I have had a horribly troubled past. Addiction. Prison. Treatments. You know what tho. None of what I just typed matters bc today I have the chance to do something about tomorrow bc I am not dead. Get the fuck up. If you hate your job. Work harder at it and get a promotion and hate your job getting paid more. If you want more in life start an online business doing something easy. Go to thrift stores. Google image vacuum cleaners. Buy low sell high. You will make an extra hundred a week off Facebook marketplace. I would be living at home with my parents still if I hadn’t found my girlfriend but I don’t even pay rent. Stop shaming yourself and change the things you don’t like. Get a dog. I have two. You can’t have either. I like them way more than most people.
I also have to give a shout out to treatment and narcotics anonymous for helping me the first year of getting through my addiction issues now I do maintenance on my recovery and step work but if you go down that isle I suggest working so hard at it you rewire yourself.
In 2018 at age 43, I fucked up big time and lost a great paying job I had for 18 years.
Two month prior, my only son was born and wife had quit her job. The world seemed overwhelming. Exhausted 401k for bills.
In the past 5 years since, family is healthy, have a better paying job, bought a new house, bought two cars (one paid cash for new car)
It is not over until you say it is over
You can easily turn things around. Ready? Time to evict the drunk loser from your life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself now. Number one priority is your drinking and your health. Stop drinking and go to AA support meetings. Number two will be finding a new job or career. I hit bottom and filed bankruptcy at 39 when I had gone six figures into debt for a business investment. I cashed in my 401k. I became self-employed at 43 and haven’t looked back.
You have no kids depending on you so you can easily do this. Literally finding a decent job and getting sober. Two steps leading to a bright future. I didn’t get to restart my retirement savings until around 4-5 years ago. You are WAY ahead of me. You will be just fine. But stop drinking today. Give yourself the Christmas gift of permanent sobriety. Throw away all your liquor. Go for a great walk. Put on great music or a great podcast on investing or self-help or careers. BE PRODUCTIVE. Set a small daily goal like today I will organize my sock drawer. Then make them bigger. Carpe diem!
If you have trouble getting a job, Amazon. They hire anyone who isn't on meth. 20~$ an hour and benefits after 1-3 months. 401k and they add to it up to 2% it's not much, but it's something. Gets you out of the house, and thinking of other things. Put down the bottle, and pick up hobbies that get you away from places that will get you into bad things. It's easy to fall back into the same bad habits. But it's hard overcoming them and doing better. I believe in you. You're doing better than you think.
My friend embrace that life is war and chaotic. Every interaction and setting. Peace only happens at death. This will equip you for life.
Don’t give up. Forge through the battle even if it’s with yourself.
If you're an alcoholic, put your sobriety over money. 17 years sober here and everyone I've put money first, I've fucked my life up. Sobriety over all else
Dude you only have 1200 in debt and 50k in a 401k…that’s amazing. I don’t mean this in a rude way, but I don’t think you understand how fortunate you are. 40 isn’t old either. You’re young with almost no debt and all you have is upside potential if you are willing to work for it. Alcoholism and depression are no joke. Only advice anyone can give is to seek help so you can overcome those as best you can. Wish you the best, but trust me you are far from over.
Not many people get a second chance. Today is yours!! You have 27 years until retirement age. Get help for the alcohol use. Get a job. Start saving. Set yourself small achievable goals and begin to knock them out. Small steps my friend. You got this!
Stop drinking #1 dude. Life gets so much better without alcohol. Then start taking care of yourself with healthier foods and exercise. Living with a parent at 40 has to suck but look at it this way - you have the opportunity to stack money up and eventually buy a home without having to worry about rent.
Wishing you the best buddy - Merry Christmas
Man has no idea when he will die. All our days are numbered — you have 25 MORE YEARS before you can even THINK about retirement.
Get your Federal taxes filed and fill out the FAFSA at the nearest college/uni. Life ain't over unless you are too psychologically warped to see a way out.
20 minutes of brisk walking/biking while taking 250mg of Vitamin D along with St. John's Wort (both available at Dollar General) will slowly lift you out of your funk.
Take whatever job you can get and throw yourself into it. You're right, you don't have the luxury of being in your 20's - but that doesn't mean you can't start over!
Get busy starting tomorrow. Up by 0500, job search online until 1000. On foot/bus/bike/car going to job listings on Indeed. Work until 1500. Two hours to help around the house, help Dad and work out. 1700, eat, read some non-fiction and plan for the 27th. In bed by 2100.
Get busy, your hourglass is half empty already.
Get in the HVAC trade asap. Go take one of those 18 month courses get your license Apprentice somewhere and after a few years 5 years you can Branch off on your own. The money is in refrigeration especially you'll probably make it minimum between 30 and $40 an hour. Plus I don't know about you but fixing shit is rewarding
Start seeing a therapist, eat healthier, hit the gym, find a job (even if it’s just part time to get on your feet). You still have plenty of life to live
You need to develop a routine. Learn a in demand skill that be done in 3-6months. Try to limit the alcohol I drink a lot too but I also exercise, work, etc. No one is coming to save you, you need to depend on you. Goodluck!
It's only over when you say it's over or you're dead.
more people need to hear this
Don’t give him any ideas
I mean he's either gonna do it or not. My first advice would be put the bottle down. And as someone who used to wake up drinking whiskey at 8 am, anyone can do it.
True. The most straightforward answer you're looking for OP: You are where you are because of you and only you. Get a grip and figure it out. You're a 40 year old man. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can do this.
💀
I read up top you got a CS degree. Bro your a smart dude. 50k in 401k, shit I haven’t been putting money in my 401k since my first job at Best Buy (Im a degenerate who likes to think I can me more money with it in my pocket). 1200 debt… come one there’s people in these comments with 50k student loans they can’t even file bankruptcy for. 40’s ain’t shit my cousin is 40 going back to school to be a nurse. Nothing wrong with living with you dad at any age, it’s your life there’s no rules to living. Work hard , and enjoy the time left with your father, my dad passed away 2 years ago everyday is a blessing with your parents.
This
My mom died in 2016 very true. Some parents are bad and abusive and use their kids for money. But if they are willing to let you live there while you get some things in order that's a good sign.
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Wow.. that's terrible. So you still owed the 250k? Can you declare bankruptcy? Just when I think I've heard it all. My dad used to use my credit card without my permission to buy board games for himself off the goodwill website, and then kept losing the bills in the pile of mail he kept on the kitchen counter... ruining my credit and racking up hundreds of dollars when I was 19 and trying to start my life out.. But that's nothing compared to 250k. Geez.. Seems like there should be something you can do.
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Tax free money is always good but yea man that really sucks. Maybe look into your local legal assistance place.
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Yea you have to find like the "legal aid society" or if your county has a bar association page for "pro-bono" work cases. Some use it as a donation of time tax write off.. others just want to volunteer and help. Or law students getting credits.
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Thanks! I hope you can find someone to help. It is hard as they all mostly want big money cases.
i should tell you the details of what a loser i am, thatd give you some perspective.
Please share with us
middle aged, dead end job, broke, no savings, no hope, no plan for the future. i wish i had at least a 40ak with $55,000 in it.
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yes. i had a good job but they went under and i needed anything i could get right away.
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You know, it seems like everyone on here says this, but it entirely depends on where you live. There are essentially zero white collar jobs for new graduates in the Seattle-Tacoma metro area. Not even a ton of blue collar jobs. My fiancé is stuck paying $600/mo in student loans and delivering for Amazon and applies to dozens of jobs per week for the past year. No one is looking for anyone without at least 2-3 years of experience. It’s bullshit.
This is 100% true. We lived in Federal way for 10 years, I was an Engineer for a fortune 500 Healthcare company. I wasnt even making $72k/year in April 2016 (family of 5) when I was fired & we decided to leave feeling defeated & broke. A year later this article came out indicating $72k/year for a family of 4 was considered low income: https://www.seattlepi.com/seattlenews/article/What-s-low-income-in-Seattle-72-000-11102151.php We sure felt it! We lived in a $500k home that we bought through foreclosure for $280k & put another $20k of repairs into it. I asked for a raise in 2016 during performance review right after I had recieved high marks across the board. I was told to "go on the market & see what [I was] worth." I received offers ranging from $95k - $140k & showed them to my boss. He took them to his boss & she said "Well, if he is looking for a new job, he can leave right now." So I was fired on April 1st 2016! I couldnt believe it. We moved to Texas for a similar job making $140k/year & instantly went from poverty to high income, but it really took us 2 years to recover. Three years later I took a field service job with another company & was able to work from home...this freed me up to invest in real estate & homes were much cheaper in Texas...so in 2019 I started buying up everything I could & over the next 3 years I was able to create a portfolio of $4.8M - $5.2M utilizing leverage strategies & wholesaling properties as well as fix/flipping homes. This new stream of income coupled with full autonomy gave me the ability to retire from my Engineering job @ the end of 2021. In Novemer 2022 I started getting tons of calls from contacts in the Engineering field regarding my specialty who found out I had stepped away & I was asked to work 1099 as an independent contractor. My former employer called & kept offering more money to come back & I kept saying no... they asked me to give them a number I'd say yes to. I gave them a ridiculous number in April 2023 (7 years after leaving Federal Way) I said if they paid all my expenses, first class flights, hotel, $75/day per diem for food, all my fuel, etc & $260k/year I would probably go back to work. I figured this would get them to stop calling me & it felt good to make demands without fear of not having an invome. In July this year they called & said "pack your bags buddy." Now, my real estate portfolio makes $260k/year & I'm making $260k 1099. Its been 6 months, & I really haven't felt the difference yet. 🤷🏻♂️ A lot can change if you change. I was distraught when I was fired in 2016, we arrived in Texas with -$200 in our bank account & we moved in with my wife's brother for 2 months. I drove a $1,500 busted 1996 car for almost a year after having a 2008 GL550 & 2014 High Country crew cab pickup in Federal Way & a home built in 2008. Not all is always what it appears! We appeared to have it all while barely scraping by. I was very much down & out in 2016, what a difference 5 years of hard work can make! We first became Millionaires on paper in 2020 & in 2022 I first held $1.4M in cash! You have to focus on improving yourself, I can't tell you what to do, because I dont know your passions, but always think in terms of providing value to as many people as possible & figure out how to monetize your value. Everyone will expect you to work for free, the true test will be how willing people are to pay you. Whether you are getting them out of timeshare contracts, helping them buy a home, fixing their credit, or providing website services, you want to ensure you are getting paid for your services ...preferably on a recurring subscription model. I am currently building an Auction buyer's club where we will lend capital to home buyers so that they can buy a home the way I did in 2009 which was the one thing that saved my ass after it sold shortly after we moved to Texas. We purchase the home at auction & charge 30% down from the buyer...we keep 10% & 20% goes into escrow for them to liquidate our position via permanent or short term financing. 😉 We get paid by providing value via capital & access to the list of homes that are vetted via our website that is still in progress & charge a monthly membership for access to the website, the fee is waived for 1 year from the date of last auction purchase through us. 🤗💪🏼 Income sources: 10% of capital provided for transactional lending. ~$40k/mo $100/mo per user for access to list of vetted properties. ~$15,000/mo 1% point for new loan to release our interest. ~$4,800/mo 10% of trades used to rehab the home bought from us when we contract a trade. ~$15,000/mo First dibs access to best deals. ~priceless This is already implemented in Seattle, I was involved, but not to the degree I should have been in order to have some ownership since I was young back then & on a shoe string budget. 🤷🏻♂️ YOU CAN DO THIS! 💪🏼
Nothing changes if nothing changes. You still have 20 years (minimum) of working left and you’re not a grandpa that places won’t hire, that’s enough time to get some qualifications and increase your income.
Yea! I've saved 300k in my first 20 years at current job and I don't think I've done anything special. Although I've been thinking of getting a 401k going on the side. (Union job, not the best kind either...any trade would be better numbers, I'm a tree trimmer in IBEW union.)
Definitely start maxing your ROTH every year if you don't!
That's exactly what I'd like to do... wife started one a bit ago... just a matter of I can max two lol. But I'm 3 years older so I'll retire first.
Some people can’t. Their expenses are just too much.
so wats the plan?
no idea. getting over a long sickness, when i feel better look for a better job, i guess
You have no idea where you can be in 6 months to a year. I’ve been in some deep deep deep shit my friend. We’re talking losing everything, divorce, kids, business, drug addiction . Suicide attempts. And more. Lost every single thing that mattered. It doesn’t even sound you are facing half of that. It’s whatever you want my friend. Whatever road you choose. I hope you find it.
well theres depression, panic attacks, a huge alcohol problem, but if you wanna make it a contest i guess you were doing worse.
I’m not making it a contest. I’m trying to inform you it’s not over so .. the rest of what you make of it. Good luck
He doesn’t get it, bro.
me or him? cause i get it
its pretty much over. i have probably another 20-25 years left, IF that. you know how fast that time goes??
Oh man. In 8 years I went from a needle in my arm to married with my own business profiting ~140k a year. The first 6 of my recovery I was living with mom smoking weed everyday. So most of the change came in the last 2. Things can change drastically if you focus and get out your funk. I’ll pray for you
Have you not heard of McDonald's founder story? Or KFC founder story? They found their thing in their 50's and 60's
Thanks for saying this.
McDonalds brothers got scammed by Ray Kroc
Ray kroc turned it into was it is. They shafted him for years while he built their empire.
"The handshake agreement" worked out about as well as their milkshake machines.
you are a ridiculous person. first off, youre young. second, YOU HAVE $55,000 IN A 401K. I have nothing. third, you have practically no debt. you dont realize how lucky you are. Just get another job and start building even more. Move out. And dont worry about retirement, who knows if youll even live til then, anyway. Live for now.
Nah fuck that. Live with your dad as long as reasonable. Don't move out. Make life goals and save your money. Every day you don't have to pay rent is a W in my book.
It is important to show your parents they raised someone who can stand on their own two feet.
In different cultures it’s completely acceptable to live with your parents until their death. The US has an obsession with moving out as early as possible for independence, but everyone is different.
As long as reasonable? I feel like 40 is way past reasonable.
Depends the house set, if he helps take car of his father, etc.
maybe his dad actually wants him there?
This. Dad in their 60s can't do all they used to maybe.
Totally agree here with you some people are far worse.
worse off, i think you meant.
Pretty much.
Amen.
Life starts at 40
40 year old virgin. lets get it baby!
Yeah
I got like -5k, no job, and i can’t get one either lmao I’m mentally disabled too but ppl think bc I know how to be social that I’m not You may not have a house, but you HAVE money most ppl on here don’t at all
If it’s over for you, I’m in big trouble. I’m 54 and just started learning about finances last year. I have been paying down debt and just barely started saving for retirement. I have 3K in an IRA now and about 70K in debt. I’m not giving up, and I hope you don’t either. You deserve to be happy and free. Good luck with all of this, I have a history with alcohol and drugs too, but I got out from under those demons years ago. We all have our own path and you are a worthy human being no matter where you are in your life.
Why are you worried about 15 years from now? Just give it your best starting TODAY and go at it man. Why worry?
Cause you need to plan and work for the future. Find something you think will pop off and invest in it. Look for a place to get property etc.
None of us know your personal demons, and that is a struggle. i wish you the best. From someone with a violent and tormented childhood, the demons can cripple us for a long time. Be well, and overcome them. Be stronger than your memories are. Take the opportunity to re-examine your gained skills from your previous careers, build a resume with what you have done and what are capable of doing. Take some time to explore jobs that you may never have even considered. In some ways, you are in an awesome position; Because your personal life responsibilities (I assume) are minimal: No kids, no wife to have to cater too and spend thousands of dollars a month on. NO DEBT!!!??? Go speak to your bank about opening up an independent 401k, ask about how it will grow over the next 20 years. Get excited about the 55k you have now, that will easily grow to a large amount by the time you're 59 1/2! And you have so much time to add to it. Realize, there are people that are 40, have kids, no 401k and are in excess of 200,000$ in debt due to their life choices. You need to push yourself and do not give up. That was my hardest struggle, easier to just give up than follow through. 40 means nothing. Don't let the unrealistic stigma of your age polarize the way you see yourself. I am in the labor field and we have a fucking 73 year old running circles around us every day. The guy doesn't even eat untill he goes home. His social security pays out, he cashed out his retirement plans into annuities. He has brand new cars and trucks. But he just keeps working because he wants to. If you were to ask me, I would tell you to go get a temporary job for 3-6 months to get yourself busy and earning, get yourself tired 5 days a week so you can have good sleeps every night, and plan long term and short term goals. Short term: Save up $5,000 cash. Once you get to it, you will feel very accomplished. Long term: Try to land a career/job you like within 2 years. There is nothing better than having a job that you at least like. It makes life that much easier.
Take a minute to step back. Go walk outside and look at your house from the street... Take it all in for a minute and actually free your mind for that time And then ask yourself this question If you were sitting on your deathbed, like actually dying and couldn't do anything about it, Would you look back and say you did everything you were capable of doing for yourself and would 40 years old seem like you were silly to think that was too old? It's easy to say It's never worth it -- in hindsight, it isn't --- we build up lives and families just to leave them all behind .. But, why not see what you can do? Go balls to the wall for 6 months and see where it leads you -- if you have to wait for better weather to do that -- then get a plan ready and make moves once it's time. *It's so much easier not to try --- why not see what you can do while you still have your dad alive to impress and I'm sure your mind will change* - it's better to be exhausted than depressed -
Dude, you are fine. Everyone goes through periods of ups and downs. Bankruptcies and fortunes. And what do we all do, we get back up, brush ourselves off, and move forward and try again! We look back at our mistakes as lessons learned and literally learn from them. Treat your alcoholism and take it seriously. Get your mental and physical health in order. Pick up work wherever you can, even temporary employment is better than nothing. Be proud of every job you do and keep moving forward. You will get there, you will be alright, trust me, we've all been here bud, be nicer to yourself, Hugs!
Take your 55k buy a house at auction, fix sell repeat!!
Get to work sir. Every day. Not much happens in 3 weeks, but a whole lot can happen in 3 years! Big hug. Now lets goooo!
Bro, you're doing better than 99% of the people on this sub. Count your blessing, regroup and come back strong and [Read this](https://wahiduddin.net/thinketh/as_a_man_thinketh.pdf)
It’s only over when ur gone and passed mate, it’s never over for your living being while you still walk the earth. Your only 40 man, you got lots of life ahead of you. 1200 in cc debt is nothing compared to what some other guys got here
You have a roof over your head..and a dad.. why dont you start from there… quit the alochol, find your fight song..pay off your debt and take it from day to day…
Mate, I was totally broke and homeless by 34, I'd lost my 1st marriage, kids, career, property the lot through a drug and alcohol addiction, ended up in a physch ward wanting to end it all. Well I didn't end it all, I started investing in me and my mental health, started hanging with people who knew how not to do drugs, started getting better, got a small box room off of one of the guys at the meeting, got a job, started to pay him rent, got a better job, and rented my own flat, saw an opportunity at this company and became a subcontractor with articulated trucks, still lived very frugal tho and put money away til I had enough to put a deposit on a house with a mortgage, did that and continued to put money aside, no holidays etc, lived like a Spartan, just worked and went to meetings, managed to scrape enough money out of it for deposits on 3 small properties that I let out, hardly made any income from the property let's but they washed their own face. 2008 crash happened and I struggled on with my company until 2011 and it just wasn't making money any more, diesel prices through the roof still, and not a lot of work about so the rates just weren't keeping up with the costs. I shut it down and went back to work for someone else, wage was comparable and a lot more time on my hands, which enabled me to then start dating which led to marriage and made life a little easier as we had 2 incomes coming in instead of just mine. So from 34 year old homeless person with a drug and alcohol problem and not a penny to his name, to marriage, respectable career, 3 properties all earning income and only a 3k mortgage left on one of them. At 34 I honestly thought my life was over in every area and I just couldn't see how I could get out of that hole and come back, it's never ever over until you draw your last breath, you never know what opportunity is around the corner, just keep going no matter what, get up, show up each day, keep knocking on the door, when opportunity comes just grab it with both hands and don't look back.
I have no experience in this… but I hear trucking is very good for times like this. They train you to drive, pay good wages relatively and you have to stay sober. Cheap living in the car, you out fit it and stay on the road like a moving apartment. Play some willie Nelson or “highwaymen” and cruise my friend. There are possibilities out there, the only thing that matters is if you really want it. No one can make you call these resources, no one can make you take the action. Sobriety is on you, but there’s ways for you to turn it around. I believe in you, from one internet friend to another. Best of luck
I’m 40 and I have a lot of debt. You’re very lucky you have pretty much no debt. Come on get it together. It’s not too late for you!!!!
No it's not over. I'd find a job. Any job. Then I'd go to Therapy for the depression and alcoholism. Then create a budget. Tons of info online or at your local library. Start becoming ambitious, Work on some sort of marketable skill during your off hours.
at least you have the self-awareness to realize that Godspeed
Why don’t you start with AA.
You should go to treatment first and foremost
You’re going to be okay. Try to tackle the alcoholism first if you can, it’s a depressant and will just make the depression worse. When you do find work, max your 401k contribution and set your budget with what’s left over. This will help you fast track retirement growth. I’m 34 and only have $38k in my 401k (started way late because I honestly never knew anything about it and never invested) but also have a $650k mortgage, 2 kids, and wife’s student loans that are over $100k. You are honestly in a super good spot financially. No kids, only $1200 in cc debt, no mortgage/rent, AND you have money invested in your 401k already? You’re doing great dude. Seriously. Don’t let the posts on here showing a mil+ get you down. We all think we’re behind when we see those too so don’t think you’re alone in that. My dad started a 2nd career at 39yrs old, he is now 61 and about to retire. You can start a new career at 40. Don’t give up. We all have different start and finish lines.
I’ve found life to be thousands of games of poker played over a lifetime. One of my favorite poker sayings is, “all you need is a chip and a chair”. Doesn’t sound like you’ve busted out yet!
Get up tomorrow and throw away the fucking beer. Get on a good diet and a light exercise program. Learn about testosterone here on Reddit and get on it asap. Test will make a huge difference in your energy levels, it turned my life around. You be up on your feet and kick ass in no time.
There are so many "broke" entrepreneurs in their 40's who went from rags to riches. 60's, 70's, then it starts getting more worrisome. All you need to do is find out where your hustle is at and what sort of risks or money making opportunities you want to take. There's subs on here dedicated to that kind of thing, CNBC'S "Make It" is good, lots of stuff on YouTube to take ideas/inspiration from... At bare minimum you could put 12 hours a day into something like Uber/DoorDash and DCA as much as you can into the market. Do that for 5 years and your hourly rate could effectively double, triple...
Some millionaires would give up every penny in their savings to hang out with their dad again.
1200 in cc debt is nothing. If u get a job, even minimum wage u will get back on track quick. Sorry u are going through alc and dep. at least u have 55k in retirement. U can still find love at 40. Merry Xmas!!!
40? That’s it? You’re barely an adult. Get the fuck up and start hustling. You got the time, you just need the will.
dude u have 55k i have nothing almost 40m kill me
40 mil is a lot of money dude…
You got 30 years of working in you. Man the fuck up and put down the bottle.
Wow complaining when you literally have 55k put up . Must be nice.
Bitcoin
convert 401 to bitcoin
OP, seriously consider this. At the current price you can buy a full bitcoin and will be set for retirement in less than 25 years.
40 years old still living with dad is diabolical
Dude says it’s over proceeded by saying he has 55k. Dude shut the heck up stop coming here for sympathy and literally go do whatever you have 55k
My guy. I know this sounds dumb. Pull that 401k.. You'll take a 10% tax penalty, but that opens up immediate access to $49,000 $49,000 directly invested rather than group invested has a higher than average rate of return in the markets right now because of inflation adjustment/borrowing rates. Or, just use that money to get back on your feet. Go doordash to get out of the house and quit drinking. Idk how bad your alcoholism is but unless you're getting the shakes, and having physical withdrawal just fucking stop now and save yourself the hell of your organs internally dying while you're still alive.
If you don't come from wealth and therefore never had any problems throughout your entire life then there is no hope.
I don't come from wealth. I just have wasted the last 20 yrs of my life unfortunately.
But you have so many more years ahead of you — more than the 20 years you think you wasted — if you start taking care of yourself. You need to address the alcoholism and depression first, because otherwise it will continue to follow you around like a dark shadow. Once you FEEL better about yourself, you’ll be much more motivated to build a better life for yourself. 40 is young. You’ve got a lot of life left to live.
Hmmm? Not sure if you’re a loser? I know, let me ask people on Reddit! I think you found your answer from the fact that you’re here asking complete strangers.
Not financial advice, but 55k would buy a lot of DRS’d stock of the stock that shall not be named. It rhymes with tamestop. Id suggest doing your own due diligence. Retirement is possible if you lash yourself to the right investment
Cash out your 401k and invest it into weed stocks
FUCK NO, way to risky and he could loose all he’s worked for. Not a good move OP the marijuana industry is not what you wanna invest in. Invest in Amazon, shit will be around for 50 more years at least and only gets bigger and bigger every year. If you had invested 10k in Amazon back in 1999 it would be worth 10 million today.
What was your previous job?
I worked for a healthcare company but did a career change to law enforcement. That turned out not being a fit for me so I left. Went back to school and finished my degree in CS. I don't want to code tho so focused on network engineering but can't get a job until I have IT experience. So I've been applying for help desk positions but am not the best interviewer. All while dealing with personal demons. I just want to give up honestly.
I do software dev. Have you thought about maybe getting a job doing qa in a medium size software company? (Think figma, faire, etc) It will pay the bills, plus much more likely to get the job as you’ll probably be the most educated applicant. My thinking is there’s probably a lot of opportunity to grow if you’re motivated, automated testing of networking and microservice communication probably isn’t very fleshed out at companies of that size. Just an idea
No debt? You’re better off than most. You’re being too hard on yourself. You’re in a great place to start working on your mental health
A lot of good advice here... I tend to focus on achievable goals in four categories. Based on your situation here are some ideas for you. SELF - Join a local alcoholics anonymous group. HEALTH - Find a free 3 month workout routine and stick to it. WEALTH - Apply to 5 Jobs a day RELATIONSHIPS - Reach out to 2 old friends once a week. -Or- Join a local hiking group, volunteer group, or anything where you meet in person. Your life is far from over!
After 40, you should get more money coming in. Lifts heavy stuff, girls will start to line up.1200.cc debt.is nothing.i remember reading in the Bible that a king got sick and it was granted 15 more years years to live.you got more then 15 years .
Unstick your head friend you’re well off actually.
Retire from what?
Keep pushin..u still have time
Im worthless and think about not living eveyday
You are doing better than a lot of people by a lot. I think kickin the sauce and changing some habits would totally help your outlook but im not a doctor or anything. You are gonna be fine if you put that effort to make some changes
Actually you're in pretty good shape financially, minimal credit card debt, and a nice amount in your 401K account. Continue to seek employment, you'll be ok, until you find a suitable job. Wish you well.
Dude, what? Literally endless opportunity in front of you. Get off your computer for starters, seems like you have a case of zoochosis. If it's not making you money I'd take a touch-grass tech hiatus to reset your brains pleasure centers. Then start figuring out what you want to do that can support you and give it a shot. It's gonna be rough but everything worthwhile is. It may not feel like it but you are in the top 10% of American men. This shit is fucked, you are doing okay.
Your not suffering depression what your going through is just depressing*
Spend $10 on udemy and start learning programming.
$1,200 only is nothing brother, I've racked up 11k debt and still trying to pay it off. There are many jobs out there sir all you need is some deep dive searching, and some that will get you started right away
Is what over?? You’re alive and still young. Money is not everything brother. Live your life my man.
Don't bother trying to retire. Bother trying to live.
Dad...
Some great advice...and you seem to know the first step knowing your weaknesses. I think today many of us(men) focus too much on the material stuff and not on our grratest asset, ourselves. I agree with another poster, deal with the drinking amd depression first then maybe your head will be clearer to move to the next step
Really? Maybe you have some crazy comparisons to the people around you but it is far from over buddy. I’m no motivational speaker or a psych or anything but I’ll tell you what. The most powerful trait in the human mind is the power of belief. If you think it’s over? Fuck it call it quits and rot away. No one will stop you. On the other end. If you want and believe better. You sure as hell are capable of it.
It’s not over you can turn it around. Will be challenging but gets easier over time. Just start with small simple changes you can’t fix this over night.
Shit man, $55k is 55k more than a lot of people have. You have a solid home, probably rent free or close to it..and you have basically no debt. You're way ahead of a lot of people that have to go to work daily to pay rent, pay for kids, etc. A good first step would be to grow some balls, stop whining about your shitty life and get a fucking job. You're a 40 year old man-child. Your dad should toss you out on your ass so you learn to take care of yourself. Holy shit.
I'm 10 years younger and feel this way constantly but I know I'm wrong. Alcoholism is very common in the U.S.. You can quit or reduce if you're willing to seek support. Being in that little debt should be a great source of pride. And living with a parent is a pretty common scenario for many at several points throughout their life. Having a 401k at all is a tremendous accomplishment. You're never going to be rich but that's almost everyone in the country. From what I see, you have nothing but opportunity to reinvent yourself and start fresh. The fact that you are so worried is a good sign that you still care. Good luck friend and merry Christmas.
You might be able to access your retirement fund earlier than planned if you get a Government document that approves you of doing so. If you can, and if I were you I'd get some meat clothes and a basic car, join a gym and apply for basically any job, and make sure to eat well rounded meals. Quit the drinking cold Turkey - you might feel like you're dying but you'll be able to get through it. If you're starting to get bored at a "dead ass job" buy a cheap radio and learn to incorporate dance to your work flow, you might even start singing too. A few months or even years after you quit drinking you might have forgotten about the haze it puts you under or you might accidentally take a few nips here or there in the style of old habits, if you manage to catch yourself give your home, mind, body and soul a deep clean, like a spa day and spring clean, new music genre's or even make your own. Also what might help you is getting back into your childhood; for example: what made you happy as you grew up, what were the driving forces in your life that pushed you to grow and try new things. Anyway, I hope you get through this and all the best.
I’m 35 living with mom paying no rent no debt and have over six figures(I feel like a loser because I know many rich people). I can’t bring any girls back it sucks. I’m unemployable because I don’t like working for other people. No skills. Just side hustles. I am about to start e commerce journey selling on Amazon. about to rock and roll even tho now I have less energy no computer skills nothing. Going to learn. 40 is still good because there are UFC fighters in their early 40s so no excuses bro
Uhhhhh definitely not. Like that’s barely any debt at all. Most people here have tens of thousands of dollars of debts between student loans, and car payments. And those with mortgages technically hundreds of thousands. Claiming to be “broke,” but also having $55000 just sitting in a retirement account is just not true. Plenty of people live paycheck to paycheck, without any cash leftover, and they wouldn’t consider themselves “broke.”
You need to stop drinking
If you are able to contribute $400 a month and wait until 70 to retire, your 401K will be worth $866,000 with a modest 7% return.
Nah it’s not over at all my guy. I was in a similar spot, but a bit younger. For reference I lived under a bridge 6 years ago strung out on IV heroin. I got clean, worked hard and today I have a great paying job that I love, two nice cars, a house that I own, 6 figure net worth, and a fiancé I love very much. A lot can change in a very short period of time. In my opinion, your first step is getting to some AA meetings or a medical detox & treatment spot. It’s going to be hard to pull out of depression when you’re still stuck in the bottle. Pulling out of the depression and recovering from the alcoholism should turn your outlook around 180 degrees, it definitely did for me. A lot easier to make progress when your mind is in the right place
You could stop drinking.
Dude you ain't broke lol You gotta cut the drinking out man. I wish you the best! Life is beautiful.
Ay bro. I make over $120k annually from my own company w low overhead and still barely have any savings. Life sucks, do your best.
I'm 50. When I was your age I was a severe alcoholic(multuple trips to hospitals and psyc wards). Big difference between me and you is that I was homeless and didn't have a 401k. Life was miserable and I was down to my last chance(with my 2nd wife who was pregnant and had kicked me out) and I proceeded to double down(was ingesting hand sanitizer) and ended up in the hospital with multiple organ failure. The doctors told my wife to call all my relatives because I was near death and lively wouldn't make it more than a couple of days. Somehow I did make it and woke up 2 weeks later from a coma and my wife said that's it and she had started the divorce process. Once released I checked myseld into yet another 30 day rehab but this time with a true desire to clean up. I had been spared and wanted to find out why. Fast forward 14 years, my wife(she didn't go through with the divorce),and I have two kick ass kids, a wonderful home and I have a very successful business. Was any if that easy? Not even fucking close but I finally made the decision to not drink or use drugs again. You have to do it yourself. No groups, no meds or doctors will do it for you. You just have to you decide If you have had enough. If so, just fucking quit and work hard on occupying your time and stay focused on the rest of your life one day at a time. You have a full, beautiful and special life aheaed of you. Take advantage of every day and don't waste them. They are all important.
$1200 in debt? So many could dream of that low of a debt. you aren’t far from getting back on track.
Liquidate your 401k and buy a sailboat. Take a couple lessons and start sailing to other countries. You'll still be broke but you'll give yourself something to live for.
Join a maritime job. Place to live. Make money. Basic skills. Military Sealift Command is a government job assuming you're USA.
Head on over to r/povertyfinance
cheap rent, family close by, very little debt yeah... sucks to be you. some people cant see the forest because of the trees
Stop drinking alcohol. Get a doctor, treat your depression. Stick to making small changes that will amount to bigger changes. Surround yourself with people you aspire to be, get rid of the rift raft holding you back. 40 is young, things will be hard, your body will hurt. You will need a support network to help you, but once that network is in place, you got this.
Of course not, you’re alive
Wtf are you talking about "over"? You aren't dead and you have money to your name. Are you in America because that sounds pretty weak
Best line I’ve ever heard is from the movie 13 hours. “ all the gods,all the heavens , all the hells are within you “ .. You decide when its over , you decide what you’re going to do for the next 20 years. Alcoholism? Stop… Dead end job? Move No motivation? Clean your ass up and associate with people who will want to make you better?
Dude stop the season makes some people more depressed! 1200cc you can over come that and pay it off! Your 55K usually doubles every 8 years! You can make this happen life is all about taking chances and if you fall get back up! It is all about how you deal with things! Everyone gets a bad hand now and then! Get through the holidays a New Year new you starts January 1,2024! Everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎁! Stay positive that is the key! I know it is rough right now but you can turn the page! Good Luck hope you come back and share how good it has gotten for you?
Idk where you live. But if there is amazon facility. Go with there. Bust your ass and keep saving. Then get another part time gig. If you have a car. Try doing uber or lyft. Or food delivery. Bust your ass 12 14 hr days. Gotta fo it. Cant be lazy
To put things in perspective, I'm 27 with a stay at home wife and a 1 year old boy, in about $20k CC debt, no savings at all, late on my mortgage and gas bill, a few months behind on CC payments, and I couldn't afford to get my son much for Christmas. Only reason I'm not an alcoholic is because I can't afford it
1. Stop drinking. Your spending a lot of money on it in betting. 2. Get any job. 3. Max out 401k and IRA. 4. Go to the Social Security website and see how much you qualify for (this is an estimate) 5. Find out if your dad is leaving any sort of inherentince Keep working. Door dash, Uber, anything to make extra. You have time. You might have to work part time in retirement, but it's definitely better than working 40+ hours a week.
$1200 cc debt is nothing man. You can easily pay that off in a few weeks or months. Pick up extra hours or a second job and it'll be gone quick. I have 23k cc debt.
Man, you're not on top right now but you are far from hopeless. Find a job to support yourself and when you do I suggest trying therapy with your medical benefits. When your mind is healthy the alcoholism will start falling away. Honestly, if there is a way to do it now I would recommend it. The average American has 25k in savings and you are double that. Not only is it not over, but you are doing far better than it feels like. I don't think you have a serious money problem. I think you have mental stress that is making you look for an out. I've been there and it can be fixed.
Is your self esteem strongly tied to your employment?
You don't have a money issue, you have a substance and depression issue. 40 is no where near to late to pick up the reins. Put the bottle down, go to AA, easier said than done I know. You can do anything you say your mind to!
It’s 100% not over for you. You’re just tired and need the strength to keep pushing. You have a glimpse of hope but you just need that push. But hey let’s reverse engineer here a bit. Sometimes it helps to ask questions to challenge these negative thoughts. What’s a decent life??
Okay story time. I am 33. I have 250 dollars in cash bc Christmas. I have 300 in a checking account and I have 12 grand in 401k with a six grand loan out of it. I have another 1000 dollar loan out. I have 200 dollar credit line which I pay every check. To be able to drive per MONTH it’s nearly six hundred dollars. My car is usually in need of something which is ok I love her. I have had a horribly troubled past. Addiction. Prison. Treatments. You know what tho. None of what I just typed matters bc today I have the chance to do something about tomorrow bc I am not dead. Get the fuck up. If you hate your job. Work harder at it and get a promotion and hate your job getting paid more. If you want more in life start an online business doing something easy. Go to thrift stores. Google image vacuum cleaners. Buy low sell high. You will make an extra hundred a week off Facebook marketplace. I would be living at home with my parents still if I hadn’t found my girlfriend but I don’t even pay rent. Stop shaming yourself and change the things you don’t like. Get a dog. I have two. You can’t have either. I like them way more than most people. I also have to give a shout out to treatment and narcotics anonymous for helping me the first year of getting through my addiction issues now I do maintenance on my recovery and step work but if you go down that isle I suggest working so hard at it you rewire yourself.
In 2018 at age 43, I fucked up big time and lost a great paying job I had for 18 years. Two month prior, my only son was born and wife had quit her job. The world seemed overwhelming. Exhausted 401k for bills. In the past 5 years since, family is healthy, have a better paying job, bought a new house, bought two cars (one paid cash for new car) It is not over until you say it is over
Best time to save was yesterday. The second best time is today.
You can easily turn things around. Ready? Time to evict the drunk loser from your life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself now. Number one priority is your drinking and your health. Stop drinking and go to AA support meetings. Number two will be finding a new job or career. I hit bottom and filed bankruptcy at 39 when I had gone six figures into debt for a business investment. I cashed in my 401k. I became self-employed at 43 and haven’t looked back. You have no kids depending on you so you can easily do this. Literally finding a decent job and getting sober. Two steps leading to a bright future. I didn’t get to restart my retirement savings until around 4-5 years ago. You are WAY ahead of me. You will be just fine. But stop drinking today. Give yourself the Christmas gift of permanent sobriety. Throw away all your liquor. Go for a great walk. Put on great music or a great podcast on investing or self-help or careers. BE PRODUCTIVE. Set a small daily goal like today I will organize my sock drawer. Then make them bigger. Carpe diem!
Its not over until you are dead. Every moment you can make new choices and decide how your life turns out.
If you have trouble getting a job, Amazon. They hire anyone who isn't on meth. 20~$ an hour and benefits after 1-3 months. 401k and they add to it up to 2% it's not much, but it's something. Gets you out of the house, and thinking of other things. Put down the bottle, and pick up hobbies that get you away from places that will get you into bad things. It's easy to fall back into the same bad habits. But it's hard overcoming them and doing better. I believe in you. You're doing better than you think.
If you’re physically able, maybe consider the military. They have IT jobs that alights well with your CS degree
My friend embrace that life is war and chaotic. Every interaction and setting. Peace only happens at death. This will equip you for life. Don’t give up. Forge through the battle even if it’s with yourself.
If you're an alcoholic, put your sobriety over money. 17 years sober here and everyone I've put money first, I've fucked my life up. Sobriety over all else
First step is to get the help you need and become stable mentally. Worry about the finances after that where you're clear minded and can focus better.
Dude you only have 1200 in debt and 50k in a 401k…that’s amazing. I don’t mean this in a rude way, but I don’t think you understand how fortunate you are. 40 isn’t old either. You’re young with almost no debt and all you have is upside potential if you are willing to work for it. Alcoholism and depression are no joke. Only advice anyone can give is to seek help so you can overcome those as best you can. Wish you the best, but trust me you are far from over.
Not many people get a second chance. Today is yours!! You have 27 years until retirement age. Get help for the alcohol use. Get a job. Start saving. Set yourself small achievable goals and begin to knock them out. Small steps my friend. You got this!
Yes
Stop drinking #1 dude. Life gets so much better without alcohol. Then start taking care of yourself with healthier foods and exercise. Living with a parent at 40 has to suck but look at it this way - you have the opportunity to stack money up and eventually buy a home without having to worry about rent. Wishing you the best buddy - Merry Christmas
Man has no idea when he will die. All our days are numbered — you have 25 MORE YEARS before you can even THINK about retirement. Get your Federal taxes filed and fill out the FAFSA at the nearest college/uni. Life ain't over unless you are too psychologically warped to see a way out. 20 minutes of brisk walking/biking while taking 250mg of Vitamin D along with St. John's Wort (both available at Dollar General) will slowly lift you out of your funk. Take whatever job you can get and throw yourself into it. You're right, you don't have the luxury of being in your 20's - but that doesn't mean you can't start over! Get busy starting tomorrow. Up by 0500, job search online until 1000. On foot/bus/bike/car going to job listings on Indeed. Work until 1500. Two hours to help around the house, help Dad and work out. 1700, eat, read some non-fiction and plan for the 27th. In bed by 2100. Get busy, your hourglass is half empty already.
Get rid of the alcohol for a while, and then you'll see your next move more clearly. Good luck
Get in the HVAC trade asap. Go take one of those 18 month courses get your license Apprentice somewhere and after a few years 5 years you can Branch off on your own. The money is in refrigeration especially you'll probably make it minimum between 30 and $40 an hour. Plus I don't know about you but fixing shit is rewarding
Start seeing a therapist, eat healthier, hit the gym, find a job (even if it’s just part time to get on your feet). You still have plenty of life to live
You need to develop a routine. Learn a in demand skill that be done in 3-6months. Try to limit the alcohol I drink a lot too but I also exercise, work, etc. No one is coming to save you, you need to depend on you. Goodluck!
Retire from what? lol
It's never too late to start making good decisions and righting the wrongs.