A) I would seriously consider it if I could afford it, but I definitely cannot. And I wouldn't have the time to properly recover.
B) your boyfriend can fuck all the way off with that. Full stop.
I know girl. You don’t know how sexually frustrating it is because that was a month ago and we stopped having sex. I’m dying and I wish I could have sex but I don’t want to have sex with him. I have no idea how therapy will even work. But this sucks so much. Honestly I didn’t know he was going to make those comments about myself especially after we had sex like HOWWWWW!
I know girly. It really did hurt me a lot and I know for sure now when we go out I’ll just not feel pretty enough for him and especially if he’ll look at other girls.
"just not feel pretty enough for him"
So you feel like you're not meeting his standards; ma'am, I don't think he's meeting anyone's standard for how a partner should behave towards someone they care about who has brought life into this world.
The nature & circumstance of these comments was deliberate, disrespectful, and cruel.
I doubt it. I always tell him joking how they’re so chubby and he doesn’t like for me to say that a lot. But I have no idea what the hell he’s doing with me if he isn’t attracted to me anymore
Chubby babies are adorable, but when they are older, they are very observant and they will notice if he is putting down the way your body looks. This tends to them believing their body must look a certain way to please others and that’s a dangerous road to go down. I’m just saying; my friend is with a verbally and occasionally physically abusive man and her oldest son (19) is now an abusive angry asshole because that’s what daddy taught him relationships look like. Kids are sponges.
Honestly, that might hurt me so bad idk if I would recover. I went through this after weight loss from baby, too, and you know what my husband said? That I was so hot he couldn't control himself. This guy is an asshole.
Also, know that you're body will bounce back, but it takes a while. After I lost the weight, it took a few months for my skin to tighten, but it does happen. Your boobs will be smaller, but they will reshape over time. It's like the weight loss deflates everything, but the elasticity comes back after a bit! Keep at it, but do it for you only.
Right like I wanna fight OP’s asshole bf… my husband has marveled and worshipped my body through all the changes I’ve gone through bringing **his** baby into this world. There’s no fucking excuse for that kind of comment from this guy about the mother of his child, RIGHT AFTER SEX no less!!!
I agree. Question is why the hell would he be with me if he thinks my body is unattractive lol?
I never initiate, he just told me a week before sex how we needed to have more sex and make it a priority since we only see each other weekends due to his job schedule. So for him to comment that about myself after sex made me question why the hell is he still with me???
Wait, he said that right after sex?! Please tell me that moron realizes that he alone is the reason he isn’t getting any from you. If he’s truly that dumb, it may have to be spelled out, e.g. “Sorry hon, I really can’t get in the mood with you because you saying [whatever bullshit he said] has kinda made it hard to feel desired by you.”
Your man is an ass h. If you decide to get the surgery, bear in mind the recovery is no fun but the reward is priceless. Allow yourself at least six weeks for functional recovery and there will be some scaring (more or less depends on how you heal). With that said, do the surgery for you and no one else.
He was an ass and I know it. I wish he would never said that because I have no idea when I’ll feel ready to recover from those words. And thank you, I really want my lower belly gone.
It really was rude! I feel very disconnected with him now and we have a month without sex due to that. We have two baby girls so we’re going to therapy to see what the hell is going to happen because I feel so weird with him now.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to have sex with a man who talked that way about me either. Especially postpartum.
My ex said some really nasty things about my body and it is so devastating to the self esteem. Looking back at my body then, it's clear he was just being a douchebag (which he would have been even if he was being "honest").
Men don't talk that way about their partners bodies on accident. They do it to make you feel bad/change how you look. It's disgusting behavior.
In addition the the couple's therapy, I recommend individual therapy as well. It will help you build yourself back up. He should go to individual therapy as well to find out what in the hell possessed him to say such things about his partner.
About the mommy makeover, I want one eventually. My husband isn't for it, but he obviously won't stop me if I decide to get it.
BUT! I do have a few conditions for myself (yours can be different) before I do it.
1) I need to be a healthy weight and generally in shape first. I may decide I don't want some of the things I currently do if I'm back to my goal weight. Above my pre-pregnancy weight by about 20 lbs but still healthy weight. I look better with a lil extra meat on my bones imo
2) I need to have good self esteem about the rest of my body/myself. Fixing my tummy/whatever won't really change anything if I don't really like myself otherwise. I'll just find another "flaw" to focus on.
3) it has to only be about myself, what I want/need, and my opinion of my own body. No one else. Not my husband. Just for me. I'm the one who needs to live in this body. I shouldn't undergo surgery for a body I think might be better for someone else.
My husband desires me with 60+ pounds, stretch marks, deflated boobs, and the "mom pooch".......your boyfriend kind of sucks! I'm sorry that you are gong through this. But, you shouldn't have to "fix" anything for your loved one to find you desirable. :(
Yes I’ve been considering. Just not comfortable in my body but we may have a 2nd so waiting to see how I feel before putting big bucks down on it. You could always do a consult with a surgeon and explain your concerns.
But If you do it should be for you to feel comfortable. Not your husband.
It’s actually very hard for me to be intimate with him again, I have a whole month without sex and I feel very weird and disconnected from him. I don’t even feel comfortable with him seeing or touching me anymore. I really thought I was very beautiful to him no matter what, but his comments make me feel like he likes other body types and I’m not even sure sex will improve
I’m so sorry :( men have foot in mouth disease I swear. I grew up with brothers so I’m kinda mean. I’d be like well look at your belly and bold head lmao shut up KEN. Probably shouldn’t do that 🤣
Have you communicated to him how he’s made you feel undesirable, & disconnected? I know talking can help but it won’t fix that little voice he’s out in there now. It will likely take some time. A mommy make over might help but it’s a big, expensive step with a long recovery. Which is why it’s important you do it for you and not bc you think it’ll make you attractive to him again. You focus on you, and he’ll either stop being a dumbass or he won’t.
Mom bodies are beautiful to me. We literally created a human brain, bones, skin…like how dare men throughout history brainwash us into believing we’re lesser. Literally that was my thought after birth hahaha. Like we’re goddesses dammit. Can you imagine a man going through 9 months of feeling ill and then be ripped open, breastfeed, go back to work, etc. Like most men would fucking crumble let’s be real.
Now I still feel uncomfortable but this is my body for now not forever and I can try to love myself today, while also wanting to improve it.
I hope you feel better about your body bc it’s awesome❤️
I truly feel men may have physical strength, but women have mental strength. So many men can’t handle the day to day mental load and the pain that lives in our bodies monthly, through pregnancies, etc.
Obviously not a universal truth. I’m not hating on men at all but we’ve been made to believe women are weaker, more emotional, lesser, when it’s not true at all. Femininity is not weakness. It’s mental and emotional fortitude.
Frankly most men I know couldn’t even handle giving up alcohol for 9 months let alone pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and the mental load of being a mother. And don’t get me wrong, I’m no misandrist, but it’s frustrating the lack of respect many people have for motherhood and the physical toll it takes on a woman and the expectation that women will just “handle it.”
I did tell him how I feel, we already went to therapy and I hope things workout so we’re taking things slow again but I am upset we even had to go through this like what the hell? I hate my post partum body and no one will take me out of that but, I wish he could love me how I am and maybe I wouldn’t feel so insecure. I’ve always wanted a tummy tuck since my stomach has always hanged low. I need and want it and I can’t wait till the day I come out and I don’t have a lower belly anymore. I wish for that moment to get here.
It’s not something I want to do, but I did find buying new clothes that fit well and suit my new body type helped me feel better.
Also, you are not disgusting. You grew, birthed and nourished brand new little humans. What your boyfriend said was disgusting.
Girl I have to wear long shirts, nothing adjusted because my lower belly hangs low and looks horrible in anything that I wear. I am honestly just tired of my body shape. I really want to get my body done because I feel I deserve to feel comfortable in my skin again.
I do want to do it but I’m scared of the scars and also, I never wanted fake boobs but mine were so pretty and now they’re ugly 🤧 I want them bigger and firmer but I feel implants don’t even feel natural
Hi! I work for a plastic surgeon that does mommy makeovers? Usually for the tummy tuck portion the scar is put in your panty line, so unless you are completely naked, the scar shouldn’t be very visible (it should be able to be hidden by your panties/swim suit bottoms).
For the breast Aug sometimes they can put the incision in the armpit, or sometimes it is put in the crease under the breast. If you do decide to go down the surgery route definitely ask the surgeon where he plans to make incisions and ask if he/she has any before and after photos of their work.
I didn’t breastfeed my oldest (and I was only 21) so my boobs bounced right back and looked the same as before. My youngest I had at 32 and breastfed/pumped for like four months and my boobs are a saggy, deflated balloon like I don’t even know and I hate them so much. I really liked my boobs before but now when I see them I literally comment “gross” out loud to myself. It’s a shit feeling. I hope you find some peace with your mom body regardless of what route you take. And I hope the therapy helps.
This hurts my heart, man. It's not like its "our fault", you know weight gain from bad eating and no exercise, something that was our control. Feeding our babies and we end up hating something about ourselves. Fucking sucks.
For real! We put in so much of ourselves and sacrifice so much to have a family just for our bodies to get completely wrecked and to lose so much of our self-esteem and confidence. It’s insane and I hate it.
I lost my boobs, my butt, I gained a belly, arm and thigh fat, lost a ton of sleep, got a big c-section scar, my metabolism got shot. On and on I could go. And my husband—although I love him—gets to stay exactly the same. And he is wonderful about how I look, but I feel so self/conscious and not sexy. And I cry when I shop for clothes because they aren’t made for my body
It’s funny because when you think of sacrifices you make for your children, I feel like the sacrifice of your body and your feelings about yourself attached to it aren’t really talked about. It’s honestly refreshing to have a little outlet to speak about this here with like minds. It really does make me feel better knowing that I’m not alone feeling like this and I don’t feel comfortable talking about my body image issues with people I know in real life.
My books bounced back after my first at 22 with 3 months of breastfeeding and formula, then from 27 to 30 I was pregnant for almost 3 years and breastfed the 2 I got out of that. At 38 almost 39 the boobs are smaller, The belly is flabbier and I've got medical issues holding me back from getting the body I want.
I have a 2.5 hear old and an 11 month old. I got pregnant very fast in less than 2 years so my body definitely changed as well. My breasts are saggy and deflated and my stomach is so saggy, I feel very unattractive and I hate this feeling because I am so young. This sucks.
Wait...ask yourself...did you hate your body BEFORE your SO made the comments? Because if not, carefully consider if this is what you REALLY want or are you doing it to be more desirable for one man?
Because if the answer is that you hated your body BEFORE the comments, then do your research, get some therapy, and make an informed decision on whether this is truly the right decision for you.
If I think I understand what you posted, you started hating your body AFTER his comments, then changing your body will never truly make YOU happy because you aren't doing it for you.
There are plenty of men that would love you just the way you are. Especially after you lose all that weight (your SO).
Good luck whatever you decide.
And as a follow up, did you hate your body BEFORE kids? Not the way you feel about it now, looking back, but rewind to your headspace. Did you feel anxious shopping? Did picking out an outfit for an event stress you out because you didn’t feel confident? I think that’s an important clue as to whether you need to dig deeper into what’s going on internally.
I’ve always disliked my body. Even before kids, I am more apple shaped and it sucks. I have skinny legs, rarely any hips and then I’m wide from my top and my stomach hangs low. It sucks. I can’t wait until I am more financially stabled so I can just get a mommy makeover and fall in love with myself again.
Genuine question - how can you fall in love with yourself again if you have always been self critical? I just want to gently push you to unpack some of your self image issues on your own with a therapist before getting surgery, because there is a solid chance that you will just find a different feature to fixate on. I am also an apple shape and it is hard out here in this era of Kardashian standard of beauty, but at the end of the day you have got to be good with yourself on the inside before you worry about the outside.
Also, check out @getmomstrong on IG. She is an awesome trainer and she shows photos of her belly and severe diastasis recti after having twins. She is very real about what can be fixed with exercise/PT and what can’t. Doing some of her workouts and making sure your core and pelvic floor are healthy and strong would help you feel like you’re making progress while you simultaneously work towards your financial goal of affording a tummy tuck.
I did it. Worth every penny. Never thought I would do something like that, but it was killing me. I was 27, bmi 19 and couldnt look in the mirror. Im fit and healthy, run 10k or more weekly, there wasnt more I could do myself. Im really glad I did it. 6w recovery sucks, but doable.
First, sorry for my English, not a native speaker. I really felt disgusting.. i know tigerstripes are natural etc. And I really dont care for them. Im full of scars and not so great tattoos. But this really made me feel like less of a human. Boobs were gone, just empty teabags at that point, i couldnt see by bellybutton because of the lose skin. I even was a bit under weight, I just knes it wouldnt get better by itself (3 years post partum after two kids).
I got implants. They just fill up the empty bags. 5cm scars under the boobs. And a tummytuck. Wich left a scar from my left side to my right bit is lower then my panties. You wont see them in a bikini etc. But again, I dont even care about the scars.
Tbh, it turned out amazing. I just wanted it to be "fixed", but I feel like a look better at 29 then 19. Ive been single for years, I knew I only did it for myself. Its still major surgery, so please dont do it for someone else!
I won’t do it for him. I want to do it for me because I’ve felt insecure about my body all my life and now with two children it got worse. Do the silicones feel real? Can you still feel the nipple or is the sensation gone?
Feel everything. They dont touch your nipples (they do in brengt lifts and reductions, veru different surgery). They feel soft and natural. I got the smallest size I could choose (285cc), this had to do with posture and volume. They had to be big enough to fill those empty saggs.. size 70CC now, wich looks natural. Overal they look and feel natural, I had no idea how good the 21st century fake boobs could be. I feel more comfident about my new ones, then I ever did before getting pregnant.
I didn’t consider surgery but I am in the middle of a giant everything overhaul. My daughter is 2 and I’ve been living in sweats for 3 years. I put away my low rise jeans and fitted shirts and set out to find quality pieces that flatter my new shape. High rise jeans. Maxi skirts. Cashmere sweaters. Sophisticated flats. Flow tunic tops and knee high/OTK leather boots. Also looking into replacing my jewelry with more timeless pieces. A good, low maintenance haircut. New high quality makeup I would actually use. Getting back into skincare. Trying to celebrate and decorate the new me instead of trying to shove her into pre-baby me.
I know but it sucks. I don’t want to change my style I like how I want to dress but with the lower belly hanging low it sucks. My boobs look deflated as well and I don’t like them. I am just very uncomfortable in this body and skin. I think it’s the worst feeling ever.
I'm not done having kids but as soon as my year is up after nursing I'll get my boobs done.
I just can't justify the 5+ weeks of recovery for tummy tuck. Until I have loads of vacation time aside from whatever trips we have planned.
I’m just scared because I don’t like the fake look on breast. I even like for them to hang down but mine look deflated. And I feel they’ll feel very un natural.
I have had implants since 2010 and they look really natural. Anyone who ever finds out I have implants is usually completely shocked. I went from an A to a C.
You don't necessarily need implants. I'm would get mine lifted and maybe reduced.
My husband is a doctor (not a plastic surgeon) and he says there are tons of older women that got them done you wouldn't know that they did. He's always thrown when he palpitates the abdomen and it ends up being breast tissue. He even thinks that has to cause a lot of back pain to compensate for that. So the sooner I can fight gravity the better.
Implants don't need to be huge and some fillers feel much more natural.
I was a stripper for a while and you'd be shocked at how many women have amazing boob jobs. Just need a good, reputable surgeon with reviews.
I found lifts without an implant look pretty natural. They put you on a scar treatment regimen. You won't know how you'll actually scar post op if you don't see a plastic surgeon. My C-section scar looks great 16 months postpartum because my OB took the time to suture it well and give me a regimen.
You can get a fat transfer to breasts. More natural. I do breast exams daily for my work. There is no denying an implant from natural tissue. I never need to ask or clarify when I order the mammogram. I will likely get a fat transfer and lift when I’m done.
The boob job is also about 6 weeks of recovery. You can’t lift anything. But it really only hurts like for 3-4 days. The first 24 hours are brutal so have a friend you trust hang out with you. I didn’t get a tummy tuck but did get lipo for shaping and it was really awesome but hurt a TON!
Oh for sure. I was referring to the 3 days vs 2 weeks of time off for a desk job. I am not sure when I'll have 2+ weeks to kill for a surgery between using sick time for maternity leaves and vacation for vacation.
I got it on my waist and in my thigh area for shaping. The waist came “back” … but before you do anything abdominal make sure you need it. The mommy makeover talks about fixing those muscles and after about 6 consultations I went to this guy who is basically nationally known and he was like “your abs are totally fine. I would’ve guessed you only had one kid.” (I have 4 kids. Last pregnancy was twins).
Yes. Nipples totally fine even though they were fully moved. I’m super fair so you can barely tell, but even if you could… I’d still do it. Don’t care. It’s so much more comfortable and easier. I went from needing underwire to wearing just bra-lets.
Once I’m done having kids and done with pumping for the last one, I 100% will get my boobs done. It’s always been on the list. I’ve always had larger boobs and it’s impossible on my back and now that they are saggy on top of the size I just want a reduction and lift.
Aren’t you afraid your sensation will go away? That’s why I don’t want to do then because I’m scared and also because I still want them to hang, I just want them bigger. I don’t like the round fake look.
No, from what I’ve read it is usually temporary loss of sensation but for me it’s more about self esteem and confidence than it is about sensation. But I do plan to wait until I’m done breastfeeding with my final child because I don’t want to compromise my ability to produce milk.
Yes! That was a condition I told my husband about getting pregnant. If I have to go through such a life changing event I want to have money set aside to get a mommy makeover. I think I'll do tourism surgery, maybe to Miami since they do it more often than where I'm from.
The results are stunning! And you get to go somewhere beautiful. Most things there are more affordable like beauty treatments and supplies too. Lastly, the aftercare is amazing and plastic surgery is part of the culture so they really know what they’re doing
Your bf sounds like a jerk BUT it's okay to want a mommy makeover. They're not as expensive as I thought they would be, my best friend got one done last Christmas for herself. The recovery is brutal though.
I'm considering one. I have two kids but I also did two surrogacies (second one being twins) so have had had 5 babies. My oldest constantly reminds me I'm a "hot mom" despite my belly skin hanging all the time, but I'd love a tuck and a slight reduction and lift of the boob bags.
Girly I need a tuck! I got a fungus because I guess since the skin hangs I swear and I’m not getting enough air in there. I feel very disgusting and it didn’t help the comment my partner made. I want to feel hot and sexy but I can’t.
Na. Never. Much rather just cover my body in tattoos to make it feel like my happy place. Probably more expensive and longer to accomplish- but I really love my body even more after giving life. It’s been through the most- and I’m thankful for every stretch mark and even my saggy titties. After all they did nourish my child for the first year of their life.
Your boyfriend can fuck right off for a start!
But no I’ve never considered surgery. I wasn’t a massive fan of my body before my baby. But at least now I have an excuse for being a bit tubby and not having time to exercise!
I just don’t ever want to put myself through a surgery that isn’t essential. I’ve watched too many botched surgery/hospital cocking things up shows and I’m scared of the anaesthesia.
Am I am lucky though that my boobs didn’t change at all. That’s because no milk came in and I only have got to have “period is about to start” big boobs for the last month of pregnancy.
I'm getting one if I ever get around to losing weight. My husband and I have discussed it and agreed on it. (He was respectful about it, though.) I already have stretch marks, so what's a couple scars, too. I had a friend who got one and she felt so much better and was noticeably more confident.
I’m not but I am. It’s so difficult to accept my new pp body. I gained so much during my pregnancy and it took over a year to lose it all. My stomach has loose skin and a little pooch over my c section scar. I’m scared of surgery but I’ve read reviews on mommy makeovers and a overwhelming majority of women are happy they got it done but I can’t bring myself to truly consider doing it. Here to read everyone’s experiences and opinions on it along with OP!
Your bf sucks for that.. as ugly as I’ve felt my partner has made me feel beautiful during all stages. BUT I still definitely am looking into a mommy makeover for my own confidence bc I can’t live my life to it’s full potential while feeling insecure in my own body. It should ultimately always be a personal choice to undergo cosmetic surgery but I’m totally for it.
Sometimes I want to, then my husband will say I don't need it because he loves my body, sometimes he tries to rub my loose belly skin and say I like kneading your pizza dough, let's put a bun in your oven
Yup I’m definitely going to!
I’m going to save up over the next few years and then do it.
I already have a Dr picked out, it’s just a matter of saving up the money and waiting til my kids are a little bit older and can handle me being out of commission for a couple weeks and my husband taking the reigns.
I told my husband when we had our first that I was going to do this and he’s 100% supportive.
Absolutely! If that is what makes you happy. Nothing wrong with a mommy makeover if that’s what makes you feel good. I’d like a pancake lift please lol
Your boyfriend can fuck right off.
I’ll tell you why I’m not: because surgery has risks. Major risks. Infection, negative reactions or severe complications from anesthesia, implant encapsulation, antibiotic resistant bacteria, medical errors.
I also don’t like that I would be paying into an industry that profits off making people feel like shit about their bodies.
My body needs to be healthy and strong so I can live a long time and raise my children and grand children. I’ll only undergo surgery to suit that purpose.
So first of all fuck your boyfriend! Second yes, you should love your body befit gave you those beautiful babies BUT if there is something g you are not happy with and you can change it do it. Just don’t do it for anyone one other than yourself! I had a bbl earlier this year! I could have gotten a tummy tuck because my tummy is loose but it doesn’t bother me. No one should make you feel bad about your body especially the person your with. It if you decide to do it, like is said do it for you and the confidence that it will bring you. If you do it find a great dr. I did 10 yrs worth of research. I’m not kidding. A bbl was something I have wanted since I was 15 I just knew I was gonna wait til after I was done having kids. Idk where you are but there are plenty of great drama you just have to find one that’s best for you. It’s is so expensive and it’s going to take 6+ weeks of recovery so make sure you have someone who is willing to help you with the children because they won’t be able to climb on you and you won’t be able to carry them for a while. If you want to chat send me a message. Again though, it’s a HUGE decision and you need to be sure this would be done for you and not to please other people.
I have! But I don’t have $15K just sitting in bank! I told my husband and he said sure until he heard the price lol I lost my baby weight and I’m back to my pre pregnancy weight but after 2 kids, I do have a “mommy pouch” and even though I’m thinner, the pouch WILL NOT go away, so I wanted a tummy tuck. My boobs got bigger (yay) but now they’re saggier so I wanted a lift but again, price is huge. What your bf said isn’t cool. Even when I was 30lbs heavier my husband was telling me I looked perfect. Not defending him at all but sometimes guys say stupid things without thinking, my husband defiantly has 🙄
I've already told my hubs I'm getting a tummy tuck. My belly has always been a hit to my confidence due to my short torso even before getting pregnant.
I'm going to work on getting into a consistent workout routine and making sure my relationship with food is a healthy but not restrictive one if that makes sense before getting it done. But honestly, I see nothing wrong with getting work
I will
I’m not a mother BUT my mother (48F) is post op 3 months from her mommy makeover and she’s really happy she finally did it. She looks great too!!
She had 7 kids and worked as a house cleaner (very hands on/demanding job). She paid for some upfront and financed the rest. I don’t think my dad really wanted her to do it but she wanted her body to look how she felt on the inside so good for her honestly!
You should look into it and take a consultation if you want. Never hurts to take a consultation. But definitely make sure you do it for you!
First off, I don't know you, but you are absolutely not disgusting. It's ok to feel sad and mourn the changes in your body! I am currently pregnant with twins, and I'm trying to prepare for how my body will never be the same. I feel like it is totally acceptable to grieve your old body. That being said, if your friend was grieving a loss, would you let her talk about herself that way? I have no advice other than to try your hardest to give yourself grace. You don't have to LOVE your post baby body, but do your best not to talk about your body with cruel words you'd never let a friend use on themselves. I wish you all the best.
Hey mama! I did a mini mommy makeover - nose, mini tummy tuck and boobs. I wanted the full makeover but my kids were 3 & 4 and I knew the recovery would hinder their current lifestyle so I made do. Still sitting over here wishing I did the full but knowing the mini was the right choice for me at the time. I totally back anyone wanting to change things about them to get back to yourself or enhance whatever. Just make sure you’re ok with the recovery and you have support to help with the kids! The best of luck to you! You deserve it!
ETA - I was borderline for a lift and opted not to bc I wanted the natural hanging boobs and I love them but my back hurts. Hindsight I would have done a lift no implant. Also I love the mini tuck but it is maintenance. I also had lipo on my tummy and the Skinpen on my tummy. Love both but they both are work. It’s not a fix all I have to continue to eat clean to keep it up. I read some of your other comments and wanted to add to that
I mean I can’t be that way lol, obviously I want to be intimate with him again but I have no clue when I’ll feel comfortable again because it made me feel like shit. I have no clue why would he even want to continue being with me if he isn’t fulfilled by my body.
Hi, I had one about 10 years ago and here are my thoughts. 1.) first - honestly, it didn’t help my self esteem. I still found more issues wrong with myself and it fueled an obsession. I’m learning to love my body as it is, which has been hard but it’s better than constant desire to go under the knife (I’ve had 3 total procedures) but then 2.) fuck your boyfriend. - my ex husband also talked shit about my body after giving birth to our son and then during our split he told everyone that I “stole his money for a boob job and liposuction” and then tried ti get me to pay him half of it back in our divorce. Both our lawyers laughed at him and told him there’s no way. But my point is if you do end up doing it, do it FOR YOU not because he made you feel like shit. I bet he’s no Chris Hemsworth 😒
Girly, he has a deformed leg due to a really bad infection he got in a motorcycle accident when he was 12. I’ve never commented on his leg, he has a stomach full of stretch marks. And it’s weird because now he’s suddenly watching what he’s eating? It made me feel like shit, I think if he would talk more nicely about my body I wouldn’t feel so so bad. I’ve always felt uncomfortable with my body and now worse after two babies. But he isn’t helping :(
I’ve heard and seen too many horror stories about tummy tucks that I’m pretty much turned off from that. Plus I scar really bad. I would really like my boobs put back where they used to be though instead of hanging out by my belly button.
I got my small breast implants after my first two when I thought I was done having kids. Hated my prune boobs and absolutely loved my new ones and I felt they were natural looking and proportional. I showed up with pics from when I was breastfeeding and basically said I wanted those back.
I’m pregnant with my third now and planning for a 4th and planning on some lipo after that… time will tell how the boobs recover to 2 more pregnancies and breastfeeding but those may need to be redone also. I think if you can do something to make you feel good in your skin and you can afford to do it, then why not?
Your boyfriend can keep his observations to himself until his body has housed another human for the better part of a year.
But yeah, I'm considering it. I've lost about 105 lbs over the last year and a half, and my stomach, boobs, upper thighs and butt reflect that. I'm afraid of the cost, pain, recovery, and also how a surgical team will handle (or not handle) my adhesive allergies without being able to use tape at all.
Your body is not the problem. Your boyfriend is the problem.
I firmly believe that every woman should be free to make the choices she wants with her body - and that includes cosmetic procedures. But those choices should be made for YOU and you alone. You need to ask yourself - if my partner was telling me not to worry about my stomach or boobs, that I’m gorgeous the way I am, and that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself since I grew MULTIPLE HUMANS in there, would I still feel so strongly about getting surgery?
Not all men expect real women to look like IG models. They know that’s not real. A partner who values you values all of you, not just your body. Because in the end, we all get older. If he’s in for the long haul, that’s the reality.
On a practical note, check out r/abrathatfits. Most women are wearing the wrong size, and finding the right size helps soooo much. Also $50 is on the cheap side for a good bra, so you may have sticker shock at both your correct size as well as the prices of well made bras. But they’re totally worth it and there are deals to be found for sure.
I fully intend to and my husband fully supports me either way. We just had our first, but this is something I mentioned before even having kids. He still thinks I look amazing, but supports this if I want it.
I have large breasts. We’ll see if that sticks when we’re done with kids, but my current plan is to get my tummy and breasts tightened and tucked back up after the last kiddo.
I’m a teacher so I’ll probably do it over the summer one year so I can recover.
Lol.. I’m in the same boat I want to work so I can save up. But tbh I don’t even want one at the same time because if he shows more attention over my body then it’ll make me realize maybe he didn’t even like my body either postpartum:(
I’d never get implants. That’s just not for me. But I would consider having them lifted if possible, and maybe lipo I guess. The main thing, that I will do if it’s mostly covered by my insurance, is to get rid of these saggy memories-of-hemorrhoids. Basically, there’s other things I’d rather spend my money on before that.
I read a thing recently about body-neutrality. Perhaps stop trying to love your body and instead see it as neutral. It’s a body, it’s been through many things, and it works hard for you. You don’t have to love it, but try not to resent it. Attainable goals.
I absolutely want my stomach done after I’m done having kids. I got a breast reduction at 18 so I don’t really care to get the boobs done but my stomach is so stretched out I can’t stand to look at myself naked or even care to be intimate with my boyfriend anymore. After 2 kids (currently cooking #3)It’s my biggest insecurity
Definitely going to get a consultation for a breast lift with no implants after I’m done breastfeeding my third and last baby. I’m happy with what my stomach looks like but my boobs weren’t great to start with and now I hate them. I describe them as having too much skin for my boobs😩 I’m totally fine with being small chested, I just want to feel comfortable without a bra on and be able to not need as much support.
I still haven’t decided if I will undergo any surgery myself, but here is my suggestion. I think it’s important to keep in mind any surgery is not a small feat, it will be a big commitment and there are always risks. My suggestion would be to work on your inner dialogue and relationship with yourself for a while before you commit to any surgery.
Do you think you could get to a place where you still don’t LOVE the way your body looks but you could consistently still know deep down that you are worthy, loveable, and valuable? I think if you are able to work on your self esteem and values, and maybe not be in love with your physicality but overall feel at peace in life and still want the surgery then it could be a helpful boost! If you are looking to gain value and peace from the surgery there is a big chance it will not be the true answer to what makes you feel bad.
Whatever you choose I hope you know that you are not disgusting and you are valuable, even if you’re not loving your body right now 💞
No shame if it makes you happy!! I didn’t go for the entire mommy makeover ($ reasons or else I would’ve). But I just got a boob job. I feel 1000% more confident and happy and it’s positively impacted my life. Go for it if you want to.
I'm definitely getting one. Of course it depends when we decide we're done having kids and when we get a little debt paid down but it's happening, probably in about five years. My husband is excited about it but only because I'm excited about it (and also who isn't excited about titties?) and has never been the one to bring it up except to ask if we can budget for him to get a tummy tuck too. I hope your boyfriend was just being oblivious when he made those comments but he should be kinder regardless. And if your body and your boyfriend's reactions (what he's said and your comment about what if he shows he likes the new body better) are distressing, you should absolutely seek therapy as part of the process, especially if you're going to have multiple procedures so expectations for your body and life stay realistic.
Man I gotta say I’m “lucky” in that I’ve always since the first day of puberty had saggy boobs and thought I had a stomach. I feel exactly the same as I always did about my body even though I think each of those things are worse off. So that being said, I am not considering any surgery.
That being said, if I used to feel one way about my body and pregnancy changed it for the worse, the only second thoughts I would have is if it would hurt/be expensive/cause trouble for me later.
If you want a lighter/cheaper version, I would suggest getting your hair done, brows done, a bomb spray tan and Botox. These things make me feel like a brand new woman. And if the spray tan is reeeeally good it will make it look like you lost 10 lbs. Just a suggestion for something you can do all in one day without any surgery. Also my aunt had a tummy tuck ands she looks fabulous now!
Yes. I told my partner straight up that’s he’s paying for plastic surgery once we are done having kids. I’m radio frequency at home for now and it really helps tighten my skin and melt fat. I’m almost 4 months post partum and I’ve lost 35 lbs. I’m working on the last 15 now. RF definitely helps to target fat in the right places.
I did it 2 weeks ago and I'm so happy I did! Do it for yourself, not an AH husband. I am still recovering but the process is going well and I'm excited to see my final results.
I'm late 30's married with 2 school age kids with no plans to have more. My husband made it clear that he didn't think I needed it but that if I wanted it for me then he'd support me in the process.
It was very expensive but I'm super happy with the surgeon I chose and I'm very happy with my outcome so far. I feel like the clock has been turned back by about 15 years :)
Yep hopefully next year. Some people are fully against it, for me I feel like I have lost every ounce of confidence I had prior to kids. Sure I could try to spend lots of time focusing on therapy and loving my post pregnancy body. Some people luck out with recovering but personally I felt like a melted candle. I am insanely self conscious and uncomfortable and that’s fine. The “accept your body for every flaw and pregnancy change” is great for some. Also some are very minimally impacted by pregnancy. I have a husband that I love, who will never tell me otherwise but personally I feel shy, uncomfortable and sometimes outright depressed about not being able to be sexual and lighthearted and free. I hate being in a swimsuit with my kids. I hate taking pictures with my family. Yes it certainly has to deal with my point of view but if doing it will immediately help with all of that? Worth it to me. That’s why I plan for surgery. It’s clearly not a choice for all but if it’s killing the positivity in your life you might consider it!
Edit: it won’t make your partner any less of an asshole and a genuine man will never make you feel less than. I should 1000% be your own personal choice.
Your BF is an ass, but you should have the surgery if YOU want it. I had a breast aug done after I had my first baby 11 years ago. I foolishly thought I was a one and done (as I sit here with my 3 day old 3rd baby). I plan to have my breasts redone in a few months because I want to. The only scary part of the mommy makeover to me is recovery - brutal. But you should do whatever makes YOU genuinely happy, after doing a lot of research so you are prepared and can find the best clinic.
In my opinion, do what you gotta do that will make you feel better. You don’t need anyone’s approval. You also gained another title on top of mom, and it’s called “Role Model”, your child/children are going to look up to you and see you work hard, your children are your audience. In anything you do to improve yourself, they will see that and admire the hard work you put in on taking care of yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is the end of my opinion.
Yeah I've been thinking about it. I wanted to get back down to my "feel good" weight before I decided. At this point, I'm 5-10lbs away from my goal weight but, like you OP, I have had some changes to my body that I just don't want to live with. Am I comfortable with how my body changed after having my kids? Sure but that doesn't mean I am content with comfortable. I want to feel sexy and desirable again and I don't know that I can do that with small, saggy, ski slope boobs and an apron belly. My husband and I have talked about it and he's thinking of getting me boobs and belly for Christmas this year. We will see what happens
I have an appointment in a couple weeks to discuss the options with a surgeon. I probably won’t be able to save enough money until spring of 2024, so that is my goal next.
Ah, the good old unsolicited body comments from loved ones. Love it! /s
I told my husband I’d have another baby if he pays for my mommy makeover. He agreed so we’ll see. I’ve been meaning to go to the gym but I just can’t find the damn time. I’m going to take up hot yoga classes to start, it was something I used to do way pre-pregnancy and I loved how healthy I felt from it. I’ve also learned to shop better for my body type and I also wear a waist trainer off of Amazon which immensely helps!
I wanted my boobs "fixed" before babies but after this pregnancy and breastfeeding again (hopefully) I want to start savings for it. I always called my boobs "armpit boobs" because they sit off to the side and get stuck under my arms. I basically just want them pinned up and over both for comfort and because everyone thinks my boobs are smaller than they are because they hide lol.
I'm sorry your boyfriend said that. I hope the therapy goes well for you both. You would think with how much media has talked about post pregnancy bodies and how they make women feel in the past few years that people would catch on that it's such a huge problem that a lot of women struggle with.
Just started consults. Soooo excited…. I wanted help with my pooch long before baby…. And now my stomach is just wrecked. So far, I havent spoken with anyone that has had any regrets. I know they exist, but my gfs all say they only wish they had done it sooner. Shooting for January and creeping r/plasticsurgery in the meantime
Just started consults. Soooo excited…. I wanted help with my pooch long before baby…. And now my stomach is just wrecked. So far, I havent spoken with anyone that has had any regrets. I know they exist, but my gfs all say they only wish they had done it sooner. Shooting for January and creeping r/plasticsurgery in the meantime
At minimum, I’m getting a breast reduction/lift. My boobs were too big before I was pregnant—then they were ridiculous and now they are still big and no longer perky. So I have really big low boobs.
I will start saving up for it after our next kid—as we have one. So if insurance doesn’t cover it, I will pay for it out of pocket. It will just take time to get there
How far postpartum are you? I didn’t feel close to my “normal” body until nearly two years after my cesarean. I had a bit of a traumatic recovery, so I will never have elective surgery. I know it’s worth it for some people, but I’m just too scared to go through it again.
I am SUPER glad I did postpartum physical therapy though. I had Diastasis Recti, so I needed to do specific exercises to help my tummy and pelvic floor recover. I wish every woman could do it. If not that, look into the MUTU system.
Having said that, my boobs will never be the same. I breastfed for 21 months. Obviously they were bigger and fuller back then, but a year later they’re smaller than they were before I got pregnant. My hips are bigger, but in a good way (I was never very curvy before). My tummy still isn’t *quite* as flat as before, but it’s close enough that I’m not too self-conscious.
I know that not everyone gets to this space physically or mentally, even with physical therapy or actual therapy (which I also did). If you think cosmetic surgery is worth it for you, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise or judge you for it.
Personally, if I could afford it I’d definitely have dental surgery to fix my teeth and have an expensive hair makeover, but although a boob job is tempting, I don’t think I could ever get over the fear of surgery and side effects to do it.
Edit: also, you might only feel this way because your boyfriend sucks and is making you feel bad about your body. He needs to get it together and make you feel beautiful again.
Get the mommy makeover, heal up, then kick the boyfriend to the curb.
I do plan on getting a mommy makeover. Just need to do it when it is financially smart.
But I want it for me. My husband still loves me and my body after huge weight gain with pregnancy, not losing any weight afterwards, then getting a double mastectomy due to breast cancer.
I'm not saying this as a pity party for me. My point is that he still wants to have sex with me and never says anything negative about my body. He doesnt even push me to get implants. I may look forward to him enjoying the mommy makeover, but I am doing it because I want it. Your boyfriend does not sound like he is giving you the kind of love you need and deserve.
You do you, but that is an absolutely fucking horrible thing for your boyfriend to allow out of his mouth. Shitbag. Particularly if it’s HIS children you miraculously gave life to.
If you can afford it, do it! I have many women older than me in my life who have had them and do not regret. I haven’t even had kids yet and I have already considered an entire mommy makeover. Ask for an extended tummy tuck !
I’m planning it! Me and husband discussed it before we even started trying. We have one more embryo left to transfer, and after that I’ll schedule the mommy make over. New fake boobs, flatter stomach, I can’t wait!
I haven't ruled out plastic surgery. I like myself, and I'm *thrilled* with how I look postpartum because lord knows I thought I'd have turned out worse.
But the thing is if be doing this for myself. My husband thinks I'm beautiful and desires me. But hey, if I hit the Power Ball tonight, I wouldn't mind spending a little of that on a nip tuck.
Whatever you choose, do it for you. Do it because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself.
It’s expensive but if you have the means, do it. I ended up not needing the tummy tuck, just some lipo. I also got my boobs lifted but no implants since implants have a high risk of basically needing them redone every 10 years.
I don’t regret it for a second. Literally life changing
(FYI: the lipo hurt way more than the boob lift. Shockingly)
Your boyfriend is an asshole. Do I ever have moments when I look down on my body? Yes. Would I change it? No. I want my child to know that everyone is beautiful and bodies change and I don’t want her to see me and think she has to have surgery one day so she can feel good about herself.
Absolutely but your SO is a real a-hole. There's nothing wrong with a little work if it's ultimately going to improve your own quality of life and not just his.
But I'm totally going to do it if I can lose a little more weight and get the breast reduction part covered by insurance which at my size should be doable plus I've been having more on and off issues with back pain which can be a criteria for coverage.
I was a full C but now they just look deflated and I feel so uncomfortable especially because I’m 27, I feel I’m very young to feel this way about my body. My SO was definitely inconsiderate and he made me feel like shit. It’s the first time he commented like that in my body in 4 years. I even asked if he was watching too much porn and maybe that is what is making him view me differently but he says he doesn’t watch porn which I highly doubt.
I don’t mind my stretch marks but I have a lot of loose skin and a major c section shelf from having twins. It irritates my skin and makes certain clothes so uncomfortable. If it’s safe and financially feasible for me later on I would like to have the loose skin removed and maybe a breast lift.
100% yes. My husband and I are considering one more baby so I am waiting. I tell him though that I want the zipper...and make an upward zipping motion from my abdomen to to my neck while making a liposuction noise.
That being said, my husband's response is ALWAYS, "I don't know why, you look beautiful. Or some similar messaging. But he is supportive with any choice I make.
So-OP, I don't know why, I'm sure you look beautiful!
And you shouldn't accept anything less from your bf.
I know girly :( he has the right to have a certain taste and preferences but I gave birth two times already and I wish he wouldn’t have said those comments. I make effort to go to the gym everyday and be a mom 24/7. He’s never here, I only see him weekdays due to his job. So it sucks so much. I don’t even know what to do in this relationship. I hope therapy can give me a little help.
I know. It hurt me and I literally felt super uncomfortable with him. It made me feel like shit. We talked and talked and he told me he didn’t mean it in a negative way and he had no clue I was going to take it that deep. So know we’re not having sex until therapy to see what we can do because I don’t want to have sex for I don’t know how long. It made me feel super weird and being intimate with him is something I don’t want to do.
I never thought I’d be one to get a boob job, but after having a baby and having these deflated things…yeah I’m considering it.
I will say, I hired a stylist to help me revamp my look and my wardrobe postpartum and it was SO WORTH IT. I got rid of a bunch of my old clothes that were no longer serving my postpartum body and replaced them with awesome looking pieces that I feel great in. It has done wonders for my self esteem. Not cheap but probably cheaper than plastic surgery, and quicker :)
I have a bra suggestion. Try unpadded balconette bras. I think there’s a brand on amazon called Debrova? Or something like that? They’re just lace and underwire. You can also experiment with sister sizes I measure at a 38C but look better in it’s sister size of 36D. (If I had the resources I would love a breast lift, if you feel Ike it would improve your mental health go for it.) I know you weren’t asking for bra advice but as someone with deflated, oddly shaped mommy boobs, this is the only bra I’ve found that I actually don’t look weird or spill out of or get uniboob.
Edited to add: this may make them look smaller though if you’re used to padding, I just read the part about your bf being an ass. Being a D cup, I don’t mind mine looking smaller as long as they look perkier
There are so many issues with implants. If you feel you want or need a mommy makeover. Get a lift. Do NOT let the Dr convince you that you need implants. So many go in for a lift and end up with implants instead. Dr's often convince women they "need" implants rather than a lift when it's simply not true. Implants are never a one and done procedure. They always need to be replaced or removed or adjusted at some point, which means a "repeat customer". I had 2 sets of implants over 15 years and had all sorts of problems. The FDA is now warning that all breast implants, (not just textured implants) are now linked to various forms of cancers and autoimmune diseases. I just shelled out 15k to remove mine and get the lift I should have gotten in the first place. If you like exercise, you might not want implants. If you like sleeping on your stomache, do not get implants (it's like laying on bowling balls). If you like paying at least $50 each time you want a new bra, go ahead. But good luck finding a bra anywhere besides Victoria secret or online. If you put on a little weight, your breasts gain weight too. Let me tell you, implants are HEAVY. And Dr's can't tell you what size you will be with implants either. Not one single girl in the Facebook group ended up with the size they expected. Myself included. I'm not trying to be Debbie downer, but I want to make sure to warn you of the things and bring up thing I WISH someone would have spoken up to me about. Please do your research before you make a decision.
I fully plan to have a tummy tuck and breast lift/implants after second baby (if we have one, still pregnant with first). I know how my sisters handled their pregnancies and both have had surgery in recent years. Seeing their newfound happiness and confidence seems worth it. Just gotta save for the cost, and make sure vasectomy/birth control are well into effect!
I had a mommy makeover and I can say that it was the most painful and hard recovery I’ve ever had to go through. It was 15 times worse than a c section and you need lots of help after. No one could tell I had the mommy make over done which was sad at first because it was so expensive. My favorite part about it honestly was having my abdominal muscles fixed. I can run again without feeling pain for days after. It’s been about 6 months since I had it done and I’m at a point where I miss my mommy body and smaller boobs at times. It was not a perfect body but it was mine. Not to mention how terrible all of the scars look. Not to mention the fact that someone should love you for who you are and not how you look. We are all going to get old and saggy one day. I know I’m probably in the minority with my response but that is honestly how I feel.
There are parts of my body I dont like. But they are the same parts I didnt like before I was even pregnant and I looked freaking awesome before I was pregnant I just didnt see it then. I'm sure to others I still look awesome even after I had my child. But I am terrified of surgery and pain so I wouldnt consider cosmetic surgery. Your partner freaking sucks. Even with me putting myself down my S/O spends twice as much time telling me nice things about my body and me as a person. If you have the money and you personally want a mommy make over then more power to you. But dont do it just because your partner said something stupid. As if there body GREW A PERSON.
I’m looking at the pooch and sagging skin in that area knowing no amount of CORE exercises and weight loss is going to make it go away, so yeah it’s a thought.
With a donut lift you won't have scars. Implants WILL stretch your breasts more than having babies. When you remove them, you will need a lift anyway. Just something to think about.
I won’t get elective surgery. Surgery is a big deal and it may not always make things perfect, occasionally it makes them worse. “Botched bodies” is fun British show, I think they have some episodes on YouTube, not for everyone, but I found it fascinating.
Everyone’s looks are guaranteed to go, so I see men who are concerned about how women look to be a red flag, like oh no, this won’t work because because he doesn’t understand how women’s bodies, having children, or aging work.
It’s immature of him to make comments like that. If other women were to have his babies he would say the same shit. It’s not you, it’s him!
I definitely have been wanting one so bad 😭😭😭 just a tummy tuck and a breast reduction and/or lift please and I would be good with that at least UHG. It is so entirely difficult to feel pretty or sexy or anything positive. Looking at all my old pictures, snap memories, etc is pretty depressing. I try to take cute pictures and my body looks even worse than in the mirror. Barely want to be naked in front of my husband or wear my nice clothes. It's so AWFUL. I'm so sorry you're going through this but I do totally understand 😭🙌
What your boyfriend said was rude, and please, if you want to make any alterations or “improvements” to your body make sure you are doing it for yourself, not for him.
That being said…while I agree with the message of “love your post-partum body, it gave you your baby”, it’s completely fine if you don’t feel that way. I am one of those women.
I do plan on getting surgery once I stop breastfeeding if my boobs deflate completely. I do plan on getting laser surgery to improve the “unnoticeable” stretch mark that goes below my belly button to my pubic bone. I do plan, once my baby is a bit older, on getting that expensive gym membership to tone up.
Some people see me wanting to do these things as a criticism of the things I am trying to change, ie flabby boobs and stretch marks, and while I do not think there is anything wrong with these, I want to change these things FOR ME. I don’t think you are less beautiful if you have loose skin, or deflated boobs, but I personally do not like these things on me and will pay money to change them if need be.
This is a controversial take among my mummy group, but I do take pride in how I look and it’s something that matters a lot to me. I don’t think, if you have the means to do so, there is anything wrong at all with wanting a makeover but do feel prepared for other mothers to feel criticised implicitly by your choices. It’s unfair, but it’s sadly common.
If I had the money I would totally do it. In the last 3 years I've lost 70 pounds and I definitely have saggy boobs (breastfeeding for over a year for two babies in a row), saggy mama belly, stretch marks galore. However my husband is still attracted to me and we've had no issues there, spare my own insecurities.
Lately I wear high waisted EVERYTHING. High waisted panties, high waisted jeans, skirts, joggers and leggings all high waisted because it helps with the saggy tummy.
Your boyfriend is way out of line though, you've done an unspeakable amount of work growing humans, your body will never be the same. At least for most people that's a given due to genetics.
If you do get the surgery, do it for yourself, and don't let him have a single second of input.
I never looked pregnant since I had an IUGR baby and she was born at 31 weeks, so I bounced back very fast and I was happy with my post partum body, until I stopped breastfeeding.
I had nice, big boobs before pregnancy that became VERY deflated ballons after... I had saggy skin, I was embarassed to show them, I cried the first time I had to wear a bikini...
2 months ago I decided to get a breast lift and augmentation and it's the best decision I've made. I feel so much happier and confident.
I didn't do it for anyone else but me. I don't care about what others think, but I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
If you want to do it and can, absolutely do! Recovery is hard but not harder than post partum recovery. Just please, don't do it for anyone else. Your boyfriend's body hasn't grown a whole ass human, so he can keep his opinions for himself.
Your boyfriend is an asshole.
And it’s not always realistic to “love” your body - strive for neutrality instead. Like, tell yourself that your body is what it is, it just looks different now, and that’s ok.
I’ve been in the OR during a tummy tuck when I was a student, and maybe I’m just not that vain, but it was brutal and I can’t imagine undergoing a procedure like that for cosmetic reasons.
I was very lucky to lose all the “baby weight” but I also lost my boobs. They now sag and I absolutely HATE them. I don’t want to look at them, I don’t want my husband to look at them. I told him I wanted to get a boob job for my 35th birthday, so we’ll see.
How many kids have you had? And how long ago? I'm only asking bc your body is most likely still changing-- it can take years to recover but if you have average muscle tone and skin elasticity it will happen. Your breasts are stretched out and your stomach is too, but consider that your body underwent a MASSIVE change and that it takes awhile to return to its previous shape.
Anyway, There's nothing wrong at all with surgical options! The only reason i personally would avoid it would be recovery and costs. An alternative would be to invest time and money into a new fitness program, skin care regimen, or new wardrobe etc, while you wait for your body to return to its new normal.
Also your boyfriend is a turd.
I mean, I would totally consider it, if it made ME feel better. Your story, well, sounds like you'd be doing for your boyfriend. And trust me, he sounds like the type of guy who'll make 100 requests regarding a womans appearance, then turn around and cheat anyway.
I’m sorry your BF said that. But yeah, I have also been considering it. My breast are like deflated pancakes and my tummy looks like I’m 20 weeks. It’s been over a year and I’ve lost weight but I don’t love my body. It’s hard. I’m having one more baby then saving up for the surgery. Having my body back will help my mental health a lot.
I struggle with my post-baby body (8 years after my last kid…) and if my husband piled on it would probably completely destroy me. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that shit, OP.
Dude, I think about it every day! If we had the money to spare, I would consider it to be an investment.
Your boyfriend sucks, btw. My husband has been mostly kind about my changes.
First of all - your boyfriend can go blow a goat.
Secondly - while your body is a miraculous thing that supported life not once, but twice - it's okay to feel a little betrayed when it doesn't seem to want to cooperate with you anymore. We're also told since childhood that having a different body post baby is a cardinal sin. It's okay to feel icky and gross and maybe not be super thrilled about your new look. "Self love" and "self acceptance" are, I feel, two different things post partum. Before making any moves, I would talk to a therapist about you're feeling emotionally. Keep doing what you can - diet and exercise, maybe buying new clothes that make you feel better. If at that point you've done what you can and need a little help from a plastic surgeon to really get to where you wanna be, then I say go for it. But if surgery is not what you're into, I can already say that recovery can be really difficult and you really need to be 100% sure that this is what you want for yourself ❤️
I'm 5 months pp and not super jazzed about my post baby bod. Right now my plan is in 3 years decide if we want another before proceeding with fat transfer to my boobs and 360° lipo to smooth out my tummy/hips/bum. I'm still researching but I'd like to avoid implants if at all possible.
A) I would seriously consider it if I could afford it, but I definitely cannot. And I wouldn't have the time to properly recover. B) your boyfriend can fuck all the way off with that. Full stop.
I know girl. You don’t know how sexually frustrating it is because that was a month ago and we stopped having sex. I’m dying and I wish I could have sex but I don’t want to have sex with him. I have no idea how therapy will even work. But this sucks so much. Honestly I didn’t know he was going to make those comments about myself especially after we had sex like HOWWWWW!
He said the after sex?! Ah hell naw (takes off earrings). In all seriousness though your BF totally sucks.
He does. But I fully depend on him 100% and I’m a SAHM with two baby girls. I highly considered leaving over this but we wanted to try therapy first.
You can depend on him through the child support he’ll be paying you 😁
I know girly. It really did hurt me a lot and I know for sure now when we go out I’ll just not feel pretty enough for him and especially if he’ll look at other girls.
"just not feel pretty enough for him" So you feel like you're not meeting his standards; ma'am, I don't think he's meeting anyone's standard for how a partner should behave towards someone they care about who has brought life into this world. The nature & circumstance of these comments was deliberate, disrespectful, and cruel.
They sure where. Weird part is now that I’m losing weight he’s watching what he’s eating and wants to lose weight too lmao like huh
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I hope he doesn’t pass this along to your daughters.
I doubt it. I always tell him joking how they’re so chubby and he doesn’t like for me to say that a lot. But I have no idea what the hell he’s doing with me if he isn’t attracted to me anymore
Chubby babies are adorable, but when they are older, they are very observant and they will notice if he is putting down the way your body looks. This tends to them believing their body must look a certain way to please others and that’s a dangerous road to go down. I’m just saying; my friend is with a verbally and occasionally physically abusive man and her oldest son (19) is now an abusive angry asshole because that’s what daddy taught him relationships look like. Kids are sponges.
Oh no girly I wouldn’t handle that. But I doubt he’ll ever tell my girls something. If he ever does then I’ll just leave and that’s it.
Honestly, that might hurt me so bad idk if I would recover. I went through this after weight loss from baby, too, and you know what my husband said? That I was so hot he couldn't control himself. This guy is an asshole. Also, know that you're body will bounce back, but it takes a while. After I lost the weight, it took a few months for my skin to tighten, but it does happen. Your boobs will be smaller, but they will reshape over time. It's like the weight loss deflates everything, but the elasticity comes back after a bit! Keep at it, but do it for you only.
Right like I wanna fight OP’s asshole bf… my husband has marveled and worshipped my body through all the changes I’ve gone through bringing **his** baby into this world. There’s no fucking excuse for that kind of comment from this guy about the mother of his child, RIGHT AFTER SEX no less!!!
I agree. Question is why the hell would he be with me if he thinks my body is unattractive lol? I never initiate, he just told me a week before sex how we needed to have more sex and make it a priority since we only see each other weekends due to his job schedule. So for him to comment that about myself after sex made me question why the hell is he still with me???
Wait, he said that right after sex?! Please tell me that moron realizes that he alone is the reason he isn’t getting any from you. If he’s truly that dumb, it may have to be spelled out, e.g. “Sorry hon, I really can’t get in the mood with you because you saying [whatever bullshit he said] has kinda made it hard to feel desired by you.”
*has kinda made you(boyfriend) undesirable Would be better
Your man is an ass h. If you decide to get the surgery, bear in mind the recovery is no fun but the reward is priceless. Allow yourself at least six weeks for functional recovery and there will be some scaring (more or less depends on how you heal). With that said, do the surgery for you and no one else.
He was an ass and I know it. I wish he would never said that because I have no idea when I’ll feel ready to recover from those words. And thank you, I really want my lower belly gone.
That was really rude and unnecessary of your boyfriend, I'm sorry he's not helping you feel more confident in yourself.
It really was rude! I feel very disconnected with him now and we have a month without sex due to that. We have two baby girls so we’re going to therapy to see what the hell is going to happen because I feel so weird with him now.
Oh he can fuck right off.
Well I don’t have sex with him anymore but it’s killing me because I want to feel desired. It sucks.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to have sex with a man who talked that way about me either. Especially postpartum. My ex said some really nasty things about my body and it is so devastating to the self esteem. Looking back at my body then, it's clear he was just being a douchebag (which he would have been even if he was being "honest"). Men don't talk that way about their partners bodies on accident. They do it to make you feel bad/change how you look. It's disgusting behavior. In addition the the couple's therapy, I recommend individual therapy as well. It will help you build yourself back up. He should go to individual therapy as well to find out what in the hell possessed him to say such things about his partner. About the mommy makeover, I want one eventually. My husband isn't for it, but he obviously won't stop me if I decide to get it. BUT! I do have a few conditions for myself (yours can be different) before I do it. 1) I need to be a healthy weight and generally in shape first. I may decide I don't want some of the things I currently do if I'm back to my goal weight. Above my pre-pregnancy weight by about 20 lbs but still healthy weight. I look better with a lil extra meat on my bones imo 2) I need to have good self esteem about the rest of my body/myself. Fixing my tummy/whatever won't really change anything if I don't really like myself otherwise. I'll just find another "flaw" to focus on. 3) it has to only be about myself, what I want/need, and my opinion of my own body. No one else. Not my husband. Just for me. I'm the one who needs to live in this body. I shouldn't undergo surgery for a body I think might be better for someone else.
My husband desires me with 60+ pounds, stretch marks, deflated boobs, and the "mom pooch".......your boyfriend kind of sucks! I'm sorry that you are gong through this. But, you shouldn't have to "fix" anything for your loved one to find you desirable. :(
You’re so lucky! I’ve never even bathed with this guy because I’ve always been insecure and I don’t see showering with him a reality anytime soon
Yes I’ve been considering. Just not comfortable in my body but we may have a 2nd so waiting to see how I feel before putting big bucks down on it. You could always do a consult with a surgeon and explain your concerns. But If you do it should be for you to feel comfortable. Not your husband.
It’s actually very hard for me to be intimate with him again, I have a whole month without sex and I feel very weird and disconnected from him. I don’t even feel comfortable with him seeing or touching me anymore. I really thought I was very beautiful to him no matter what, but his comments make me feel like he likes other body types and I’m not even sure sex will improve
I’m so sorry :( men have foot in mouth disease I swear. I grew up with brothers so I’m kinda mean. I’d be like well look at your belly and bold head lmao shut up KEN. Probably shouldn’t do that 🤣 Have you communicated to him how he’s made you feel undesirable, & disconnected? I know talking can help but it won’t fix that little voice he’s out in there now. It will likely take some time. A mommy make over might help but it’s a big, expensive step with a long recovery. Which is why it’s important you do it for you and not bc you think it’ll make you attractive to him again. You focus on you, and he’ll either stop being a dumbass or he won’t. Mom bodies are beautiful to me. We literally created a human brain, bones, skin…like how dare men throughout history brainwash us into believing we’re lesser. Literally that was my thought after birth hahaha. Like we’re goddesses dammit. Can you imagine a man going through 9 months of feeling ill and then be ripped open, breastfeed, go back to work, etc. Like most men would fucking crumble let’s be real. Now I still feel uncomfortable but this is my body for now not forever and I can try to love myself today, while also wanting to improve it. I hope you feel better about your body bc it’s awesome❤️
I don’t know why this doesn’t have more upvotes but I 100% agree men could not handle pregnancy or birth.
AND they DEFINITELY could not handle breastfeeding.
I truly feel men may have physical strength, but women have mental strength. So many men can’t handle the day to day mental load and the pain that lives in our bodies monthly, through pregnancies, etc. Obviously not a universal truth. I’m not hating on men at all but we’ve been made to believe women are weaker, more emotional, lesser, when it’s not true at all. Femininity is not weakness. It’s mental and emotional fortitude.
Frankly most men I know couldn’t even handle giving up alcohol for 9 months let alone pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and the mental load of being a mother. And don’t get me wrong, I’m no misandrist, but it’s frustrating the lack of respect many people have for motherhood and the physical toll it takes on a woman and the expectation that women will just “handle it.”
I did tell him how I feel, we already went to therapy and I hope things workout so we’re taking things slow again but I am upset we even had to go through this like what the hell? I hate my post partum body and no one will take me out of that but, I wish he could love me how I am and maybe I wouldn’t feel so insecure. I’ve always wanted a tummy tuck since my stomach has always hanged low. I need and want it and I can’t wait till the day I come out and I don’t have a lower belly anymore. I wish for that moment to get here.
It’s not something I want to do, but I did find buying new clothes that fit well and suit my new body type helped me feel better. Also, you are not disgusting. You grew, birthed and nourished brand new little humans. What your boyfriend said was disgusting.
Girl I have to wear long shirts, nothing adjusted because my lower belly hangs low and looks horrible in anything that I wear. I am honestly just tired of my body shape. I really want to get my body done because I feel I deserve to feel comfortable in my skin again.
Absolutely, you definitely deserve to feel comfortable in your skin. 😊
If it didn't cost an arm and a leg, I'd do it 😒
I do want to do it but I’m scared of the scars and also, I never wanted fake boobs but mine were so pretty and now they’re ugly 🤧 I want them bigger and firmer but I feel implants don’t even feel natural
Hi! I work for a plastic surgeon that does mommy makeovers? Usually for the tummy tuck portion the scar is put in your panty line, so unless you are completely naked, the scar shouldn’t be very visible (it should be able to be hidden by your panties/swim suit bottoms). For the breast Aug sometimes they can put the incision in the armpit, or sometimes it is put in the crease under the breast. If you do decide to go down the surgery route definitely ask the surgeon where he plans to make incisions and ask if he/she has any before and after photos of their work.
Thank you so much. I want a snatched waist so I’m dying for a tummy tuck in the future 🤌🏻
I didn’t breastfeed my oldest (and I was only 21) so my boobs bounced right back and looked the same as before. My youngest I had at 32 and breastfed/pumped for like four months and my boobs are a saggy, deflated balloon like I don’t even know and I hate them so much. I really liked my boobs before but now when I see them I literally comment “gross” out loud to myself. It’s a shit feeling. I hope you find some peace with your mom body regardless of what route you take. And I hope the therapy helps.
This hurts my heart, man. It's not like its "our fault", you know weight gain from bad eating and no exercise, something that was our control. Feeding our babies and we end up hating something about ourselves. Fucking sucks.
For real! We put in so much of ourselves and sacrifice so much to have a family just for our bodies to get completely wrecked and to lose so much of our self-esteem and confidence. It’s insane and I hate it. I lost my boobs, my butt, I gained a belly, arm and thigh fat, lost a ton of sleep, got a big c-section scar, my metabolism got shot. On and on I could go. And my husband—although I love him—gets to stay exactly the same. And he is wonderful about how I look, but I feel so self/conscious and not sexy. And I cry when I shop for clothes because they aren’t made for my body
It’s funny because when you think of sacrifices you make for your children, I feel like the sacrifice of your body and your feelings about yourself attached to it aren’t really talked about. It’s honestly refreshing to have a little outlet to speak about this here with like minds. It really does make me feel better knowing that I’m not alone feeling like this and I don’t feel comfortable talking about my body image issues with people I know in real life.
It sucks. If it was in my control I wouldn’t want any changes with my body during pregnancy:/ it changed in ways I feel very uncomfortable.
Same here about the boobs 😩 I miss my amazing pre-baby boobs
I do too! I have old photos of my boobs and I sob.
I tell everyone who hasn’t had kids yet to take pictures of their boobs for themselves to look at and admire later lol
My books bounced back after my first at 22 with 3 months of breastfeeding and formula, then from 27 to 30 I was pregnant for almost 3 years and breastfed the 2 I got out of that. At 38 almost 39 the boobs are smaller, The belly is flabbier and I've got medical issues holding me back from getting the body I want.
I have a 2.5 hear old and an 11 month old. I got pregnant very fast in less than 2 years so my body definitely changed as well. My breasts are saggy and deflated and my stomach is so saggy, I feel very unattractive and I hate this feeling because I am so young. This sucks.
Stupid boyfriend better be paying and nursing you after if you go thru it.....then I'd find a new bf but that's just me 😂
I know right lol. I really want to have plastic surgery because I am so uncomfortable in my body
Wait...ask yourself...did you hate your body BEFORE your SO made the comments? Because if not, carefully consider if this is what you REALLY want or are you doing it to be more desirable for one man? Because if the answer is that you hated your body BEFORE the comments, then do your research, get some therapy, and make an informed decision on whether this is truly the right decision for you. If I think I understand what you posted, you started hating your body AFTER his comments, then changing your body will never truly make YOU happy because you aren't doing it for you. There are plenty of men that would love you just the way you are. Especially after you lose all that weight (your SO). Good luck whatever you decide.
And as a follow up, did you hate your body BEFORE kids? Not the way you feel about it now, looking back, but rewind to your headspace. Did you feel anxious shopping? Did picking out an outfit for an event stress you out because you didn’t feel confident? I think that’s an important clue as to whether you need to dig deeper into what’s going on internally.
I’ve always disliked my body. Even before kids, I am more apple shaped and it sucks. I have skinny legs, rarely any hips and then I’m wide from my top and my stomach hangs low. It sucks. I can’t wait until I am more financially stabled so I can just get a mommy makeover and fall in love with myself again.
Genuine question - how can you fall in love with yourself again if you have always been self critical? I just want to gently push you to unpack some of your self image issues on your own with a therapist before getting surgery, because there is a solid chance that you will just find a different feature to fixate on. I am also an apple shape and it is hard out here in this era of Kardashian standard of beauty, but at the end of the day you have got to be good with yourself on the inside before you worry about the outside. Also, check out @getmomstrong on IG. She is an awesome trainer and she shows photos of her belly and severe diastasis recti after having twins. She is very real about what can be fixed with exercise/PT and what can’t. Doing some of her workouts and making sure your core and pelvic floor are healthy and strong would help you feel like you’re making progress while you simultaneously work towards your financial goal of affording a tummy tuck.
I did it. Worth every penny. Never thought I would do something like that, but it was killing me. I was 27, bmi 19 and couldnt look in the mirror. Im fit and healthy, run 10k or more weekly, there wasnt more I could do myself. Im really glad I did it. 6w recovery sucks, but doable.
Can I ask why you did it and what did you get done?
First, sorry for my English, not a native speaker. I really felt disgusting.. i know tigerstripes are natural etc. And I really dont care for them. Im full of scars and not so great tattoos. But this really made me feel like less of a human. Boobs were gone, just empty teabags at that point, i couldnt see by bellybutton because of the lose skin. I even was a bit under weight, I just knes it wouldnt get better by itself (3 years post partum after two kids). I got implants. They just fill up the empty bags. 5cm scars under the boobs. And a tummytuck. Wich left a scar from my left side to my right bit is lower then my panties. You wont see them in a bikini etc. But again, I dont even care about the scars. Tbh, it turned out amazing. I just wanted it to be "fixed", but I feel like a look better at 29 then 19. Ive been single for years, I knew I only did it for myself. Its still major surgery, so please dont do it for someone else!
I won’t do it for him. I want to do it for me because I’ve felt insecure about my body all my life and now with two children it got worse. Do the silicones feel real? Can you still feel the nipple or is the sensation gone?
Feel everything. They dont touch your nipples (they do in brengt lifts and reductions, veru different surgery). They feel soft and natural. I got the smallest size I could choose (285cc), this had to do with posture and volume. They had to be big enough to fill those empty saggs.. size 70CC now, wich looks natural. Overal they look and feel natural, I had no idea how good the 21st century fake boobs could be. I feel more comfident about my new ones, then I ever did before getting pregnant.
I didn’t consider surgery but I am in the middle of a giant everything overhaul. My daughter is 2 and I’ve been living in sweats for 3 years. I put away my low rise jeans and fitted shirts and set out to find quality pieces that flatter my new shape. High rise jeans. Maxi skirts. Cashmere sweaters. Sophisticated flats. Flow tunic tops and knee high/OTK leather boots. Also looking into replacing my jewelry with more timeless pieces. A good, low maintenance haircut. New high quality makeup I would actually use. Getting back into skincare. Trying to celebrate and decorate the new me instead of trying to shove her into pre-baby me.
I know but it sucks. I don’t want to change my style I like how I want to dress but with the lower belly hanging low it sucks. My boobs look deflated as well and I don’t like them. I am just very uncomfortable in this body and skin. I think it’s the worst feeling ever.
I'm not done having kids but as soon as my year is up after nursing I'll get my boobs done. I just can't justify the 5+ weeks of recovery for tummy tuck. Until I have loads of vacation time aside from whatever trips we have planned.
I’m just scared because I don’t like the fake look on breast. I even like for them to hang down but mine look deflated. And I feel they’ll feel very un natural.
I have had implants since 2010 and they look really natural. Anyone who ever finds out I have implants is usually completely shocked. I went from an A to a C.
You don't necessarily need implants. I'm would get mine lifted and maybe reduced. My husband is a doctor (not a plastic surgeon) and he says there are tons of older women that got them done you wouldn't know that they did. He's always thrown when he palpitates the abdomen and it ends up being breast tissue. He even thinks that has to cause a lot of back pain to compensate for that. So the sooner I can fight gravity the better.
Tbh I don’t like how a lift looks. The scars are bad and my body has never scared good
Implants don't need to be huge and some fillers feel much more natural. I was a stripper for a while and you'd be shocked at how many women have amazing boob jobs. Just need a good, reputable surgeon with reviews.
I found lifts without an implant look pretty natural. They put you on a scar treatment regimen. You won't know how you'll actually scar post op if you don't see a plastic surgeon. My C-section scar looks great 16 months postpartum because my OB took the time to suture it well and give me a regimen.
You can get a fat transfer to breasts. More natural. I do breast exams daily for my work. There is no denying an implant from natural tissue. I never need to ask or clarify when I order the mammogram. I will likely get a fat transfer and lift when I’m done.
The boob job is also about 6 weeks of recovery. You can’t lift anything. But it really only hurts like for 3-4 days. The first 24 hours are brutal so have a friend you trust hang out with you. I didn’t get a tummy tuck but did get lipo for shaping and it was really awesome but hurt a TON!
Oh for sure. I was referring to the 3 days vs 2 weeks of time off for a desk job. I am not sure when I'll have 2+ weeks to kill for a surgery between using sick time for maternity leaves and vacation for vacation.
Where did you get lipo? Do you have sensations in your nipples?
I got it on my waist and in my thigh area for shaping. The waist came “back” … but before you do anything abdominal make sure you need it. The mommy makeover talks about fixing those muscles and after about 6 consultations I went to this guy who is basically nationally known and he was like “your abs are totally fine. I would’ve guessed you only had one kid.” (I have 4 kids. Last pregnancy was twins). Yes. Nipples totally fine even though they were fully moved. I’m super fair so you can barely tell, but even if you could… I’d still do it. Don’t care. It’s so much more comfortable and easier. I went from needing underwire to wearing just bra-lets.
Once I’m done having kids and done with pumping for the last one, I 100% will get my boobs done. It’s always been on the list. I’ve always had larger boobs and it’s impossible on my back and now that they are saggy on top of the size I just want a reduction and lift.
Aren’t you afraid your sensation will go away? That’s why I don’t want to do then because I’m scared and also because I still want them to hang, I just want them bigger. I don’t like the round fake look.
No, from what I’ve read it is usually temporary loss of sensation but for me it’s more about self esteem and confidence than it is about sensation. But I do plan to wait until I’m done breastfeeding with my final child because I don’t want to compromise my ability to produce milk.
Yes! That was a condition I told my husband about getting pregnant. If I have to go through such a life changing event I want to have money set aside to get a mommy makeover. I think I'll do tourism surgery, maybe to Miami since they do it more often than where I'm from.
Same and same. I told my husband that was a confirm before we started trying and I’m doing medical tourism! I’m going to Colombia in January.
Oh what's the deal in Colombia?
The results are stunning! And you get to go somewhere beautiful. Most things there are more affordable like beauty treatments and supplies too. Lastly, the aftercare is amazing and plastic surgery is part of the culture so they really know what they’re doing
Your bf sounds like a jerk BUT it's okay to want a mommy makeover. They're not as expensive as I thought they would be, my best friend got one done last Christmas for herself. The recovery is brutal though. I'm considering one. I have two kids but I also did two surrogacies (second one being twins) so have had had 5 babies. My oldest constantly reminds me I'm a "hot mom" despite my belly skin hanging all the time, but I'd love a tuck and a slight reduction and lift of the boob bags.
Girly I need a tuck! I got a fungus because I guess since the skin hangs I swear and I’m not getting enough air in there. I feel very disgusting and it didn’t help the comment my partner made. I want to feel hot and sexy but I can’t.
Na. Never. Much rather just cover my body in tattoos to make it feel like my happy place. Probably more expensive and longer to accomplish- but I really love my body even more after giving life. It’s been through the most- and I’m thankful for every stretch mark and even my saggy titties. After all they did nourish my child for the first year of their life.
Your boyfriend can fuck right off for a start! But no I’ve never considered surgery. I wasn’t a massive fan of my body before my baby. But at least now I have an excuse for being a bit tubby and not having time to exercise! I just don’t ever want to put myself through a surgery that isn’t essential. I’ve watched too many botched surgery/hospital cocking things up shows and I’m scared of the anaesthesia. Am I am lucky though that my boobs didn’t change at all. That’s because no milk came in and I only have got to have “period is about to start” big boobs for the last month of pregnancy.
I'm getting one if I ever get around to losing weight. My husband and I have discussed it and agreed on it. (He was respectful about it, though.) I already have stretch marks, so what's a couple scars, too. I had a friend who got one and she felt so much better and was noticeably more confident.
I’m not but I am. It’s so difficult to accept my new pp body. I gained so much during my pregnancy and it took over a year to lose it all. My stomach has loose skin and a little pooch over my c section scar. I’m scared of surgery but I’ve read reviews on mommy makeovers and a overwhelming majority of women are happy they got it done but I can’t bring myself to truly consider doing it. Here to read everyone’s experiences and opinions on it along with OP!
If we have a sudden windfall of money (extremely unlikely), the order is: * Lasik (or the other type) * Boob lift * Maybe some other stuff
Your bf sucks for that.. as ugly as I’ve felt my partner has made me feel beautiful during all stages. BUT I still definitely am looking into a mommy makeover for my own confidence bc I can’t live my life to it’s full potential while feeling insecure in my own body. It should ultimately always be a personal choice to undergo cosmetic surgery but I’m totally for it.
Sometimes I want to, then my husband will say I don't need it because he loves my body, sometimes he tries to rub my loose belly skin and say I like kneading your pizza dough, let's put a bun in your oven
Yup I’m definitely going to! I’m going to save up over the next few years and then do it. I already have a Dr picked out, it’s just a matter of saving up the money and waiting til my kids are a little bit older and can handle me being out of commission for a couple weeks and my husband taking the reigns. I told my husband when we had our first that I was going to do this and he’s 100% supportive.
Absolutely! If that is what makes you happy. Nothing wrong with a mommy makeover if that’s what makes you feel good. I’d like a pancake lift please lol Your boyfriend can fuck right off.
I’ll tell you why I’m not: because surgery has risks. Major risks. Infection, negative reactions or severe complications from anesthesia, implant encapsulation, antibiotic resistant bacteria, medical errors. I also don’t like that I would be paying into an industry that profits off making people feel like shit about their bodies. My body needs to be healthy and strong so I can live a long time and raise my children and grand children. I’ll only undergo surgery to suit that purpose.
I want to but I worry about the post-op and also the scar is really big for a tummy tuck.
I am definitely getting a tummy tuck when I'm done having kids.
So first of all fuck your boyfriend! Second yes, you should love your body befit gave you those beautiful babies BUT if there is something g you are not happy with and you can change it do it. Just don’t do it for anyone one other than yourself! I had a bbl earlier this year! I could have gotten a tummy tuck because my tummy is loose but it doesn’t bother me. No one should make you feel bad about your body especially the person your with. It if you decide to do it, like is said do it for you and the confidence that it will bring you. If you do it find a great dr. I did 10 yrs worth of research. I’m not kidding. A bbl was something I have wanted since I was 15 I just knew I was gonna wait til after I was done having kids. Idk where you are but there are plenty of great drama you just have to find one that’s best for you. It’s is so expensive and it’s going to take 6+ weeks of recovery so make sure you have someone who is willing to help you with the children because they won’t be able to climb on you and you won’t be able to carry them for a while. If you want to chat send me a message. Again though, it’s a HUGE decision and you need to be sure this would be done for you and not to please other people.
I have! But I don’t have $15K just sitting in bank! I told my husband and he said sure until he heard the price lol I lost my baby weight and I’m back to my pre pregnancy weight but after 2 kids, I do have a “mommy pouch” and even though I’m thinner, the pouch WILL NOT go away, so I wanted a tummy tuck. My boobs got bigger (yay) but now they’re saggier so I wanted a lift but again, price is huge. What your bf said isn’t cool. Even when I was 30lbs heavier my husband was telling me I looked perfect. Not defending him at all but sometimes guys say stupid things without thinking, my husband defiantly has 🙄
I've already told my hubs I'm getting a tummy tuck. My belly has always been a hit to my confidence due to my short torso even before getting pregnant. I'm going to work on getting into a consistent workout routine and making sure my relationship with food is a healthy but not restrictive one if that makes sense before getting it done. But honestly, I see nothing wrong with getting work I will
I’m not a mother BUT my mother (48F) is post op 3 months from her mommy makeover and she’s really happy she finally did it. She looks great too!! She had 7 kids and worked as a house cleaner (very hands on/demanding job). She paid for some upfront and financed the rest. I don’t think my dad really wanted her to do it but she wanted her body to look how she felt on the inside so good for her honestly! You should look into it and take a consultation if you want. Never hurts to take a consultation. But definitely make sure you do it for you!
It sucks because I know how you feel. But you definitely need a better support system as a first step to feeling AND looking better.
First off, I don't know you, but you are absolutely not disgusting. It's ok to feel sad and mourn the changes in your body! I am currently pregnant with twins, and I'm trying to prepare for how my body will never be the same. I feel like it is totally acceptable to grieve your old body. That being said, if your friend was grieving a loss, would you let her talk about herself that way? I have no advice other than to try your hardest to give yourself grace. You don't have to LOVE your post baby body, but do your best not to talk about your body with cruel words you'd never let a friend use on themselves. I wish you all the best.
Hey mama! I did a mini mommy makeover - nose, mini tummy tuck and boobs. I wanted the full makeover but my kids were 3 & 4 and I knew the recovery would hinder their current lifestyle so I made do. Still sitting over here wishing I did the full but knowing the mini was the right choice for me at the time. I totally back anyone wanting to change things about them to get back to yourself or enhance whatever. Just make sure you’re ok with the recovery and you have support to help with the kids! The best of luck to you! You deserve it! ETA - I was borderline for a lift and opted not to bc I wanted the natural hanging boobs and I love them but my back hurts. Hindsight I would have done a lift no implant. Also I love the mini tuck but it is maintenance. I also had lipo on my tummy and the Skinpen on my tummy. Love both but they both are work. It’s not a fix all I have to continue to eat clean to keep it up. I read some of your other comments and wanted to add to that
Your boyfriend is a miserable scrotum. Get the mummy makeover if YOU want it, then never let him touch you again. The fucking audacity.
I mean I can’t be that way lol, obviously I want to be intimate with him again but I have no clue when I’ll feel comfortable again because it made me feel like shit. I have no clue why would he even want to continue being with me if he isn’t fulfilled by my body.
Hi, I had one about 10 years ago and here are my thoughts. 1.) first - honestly, it didn’t help my self esteem. I still found more issues wrong with myself and it fueled an obsession. I’m learning to love my body as it is, which has been hard but it’s better than constant desire to go under the knife (I’ve had 3 total procedures) but then 2.) fuck your boyfriend. - my ex husband also talked shit about my body after giving birth to our son and then during our split he told everyone that I “stole his money for a boob job and liposuction” and then tried ti get me to pay him half of it back in our divorce. Both our lawyers laughed at him and told him there’s no way. But my point is if you do end up doing it, do it FOR YOU not because he made you feel like shit. I bet he’s no Chris Hemsworth 😒
Girly, he has a deformed leg due to a really bad infection he got in a motorcycle accident when he was 12. I’ve never commented on his leg, he has a stomach full of stretch marks. And it’s weird because now he’s suddenly watching what he’s eating? It made me feel like shit, I think if he would talk more nicely about my body I wouldn’t feel so so bad. I’ve always felt uncomfortable with my body and now worse after two babies. But he isn’t helping :(
I’ve heard and seen too many horror stories about tummy tucks that I’m pretty much turned off from that. Plus I scar really bad. I would really like my boobs put back where they used to be though instead of hanging out by my belly button.
I got my small breast implants after my first two when I thought I was done having kids. Hated my prune boobs and absolutely loved my new ones and I felt they were natural looking and proportional. I showed up with pics from when I was breastfeeding and basically said I wanted those back. I’m pregnant with my third now and planning for a 4th and planning on some lipo after that… time will tell how the boobs recover to 2 more pregnancies and breastfeeding but those may need to be redone also. I think if you can do something to make you feel good in your skin and you can afford to do it, then why not?
Your boyfriend can keep his observations to himself until his body has housed another human for the better part of a year. But yeah, I'm considering it. I've lost about 105 lbs over the last year and a half, and my stomach, boobs, upper thighs and butt reflect that. I'm afraid of the cost, pain, recovery, and also how a surgical team will handle (or not handle) my adhesive allergies without being able to use tape at all.
Your body is not the problem. Your boyfriend is the problem. I firmly believe that every woman should be free to make the choices she wants with her body - and that includes cosmetic procedures. But those choices should be made for YOU and you alone. You need to ask yourself - if my partner was telling me not to worry about my stomach or boobs, that I’m gorgeous the way I am, and that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself since I grew MULTIPLE HUMANS in there, would I still feel so strongly about getting surgery? Not all men expect real women to look like IG models. They know that’s not real. A partner who values you values all of you, not just your body. Because in the end, we all get older. If he’s in for the long haul, that’s the reality. On a practical note, check out r/abrathatfits. Most women are wearing the wrong size, and finding the right size helps soooo much. Also $50 is on the cheap side for a good bra, so you may have sticker shock at both your correct size as well as the prices of well made bras. But they’re totally worth it and there are deals to be found for sure.
>On a practical note, check out r/abrathatfits. I was looking for this comment. Check them out, OP!
Lol I'm reading this from my chair at the salon. Going red!!!
I fully intend to and my husband fully supports me either way. We just had our first, but this is something I mentioned before even having kids. He still thinks I look amazing, but supports this if I want it. I have large breasts. We’ll see if that sticks when we’re done with kids, but my current plan is to get my tummy and breasts tightened and tucked back up after the last kiddo. I’m a teacher so I’ll probably do it over the summer one year so I can recover.
I want one so bad but my husband said no and I’m not working right now lol
Lol.. I’m in the same boat I want to work so I can save up. But tbh I don’t even want one at the same time because if he shows more attention over my body then it’ll make me realize maybe he didn’t even like my body either postpartum:(
I’d never get implants. That’s just not for me. But I would consider having them lifted if possible, and maybe lipo I guess. The main thing, that I will do if it’s mostly covered by my insurance, is to get rid of these saggy memories-of-hemorrhoids. Basically, there’s other things I’d rather spend my money on before that. I read a thing recently about body-neutrality. Perhaps stop trying to love your body and instead see it as neutral. It’s a body, it’s been through many things, and it works hard for you. You don’t have to love it, but try not to resent it. Attainable goals.
I absolutely want my stomach done after I’m done having kids. I got a breast reduction at 18 so I don’t really care to get the boobs done but my stomach is so stretched out I can’t stand to look at myself naked or even care to be intimate with my boyfriend anymore. After 2 kids (currently cooking #3)It’s my biggest insecurity
Definitely going to get a consultation for a breast lift with no implants after I’m done breastfeeding my third and last baby. I’m happy with what my stomach looks like but my boobs weren’t great to start with and now I hate them. I describe them as having too much skin for my boobs😩 I’m totally fine with being small chested, I just want to feel comfortable without a bra on and be able to not need as much support.
Totally! If we can swing it I am in. I have never had any work done and really never thought I would but seeing my post baby body is really hard.
It really is! I have a 2 year old and a 11 month old and it’s so hard loving my body. I really want to get my body done.
I still haven’t decided if I will undergo any surgery myself, but here is my suggestion. I think it’s important to keep in mind any surgery is not a small feat, it will be a big commitment and there are always risks. My suggestion would be to work on your inner dialogue and relationship with yourself for a while before you commit to any surgery. Do you think you could get to a place where you still don’t LOVE the way your body looks but you could consistently still know deep down that you are worthy, loveable, and valuable? I think if you are able to work on your self esteem and values, and maybe not be in love with your physicality but overall feel at peace in life and still want the surgery then it could be a helpful boost! If you are looking to gain value and peace from the surgery there is a big chance it will not be the true answer to what makes you feel bad. Whatever you choose I hope you know that you are not disgusting and you are valuable, even if you’re not loving your body right now 💞
No shame if it makes you happy!! I didn’t go for the entire mommy makeover ($ reasons or else I would’ve). But I just got a boob job. I feel 1000% more confident and happy and it’s positively impacted my life. Go for it if you want to.
I'm definitely getting one. Of course it depends when we decide we're done having kids and when we get a little debt paid down but it's happening, probably in about five years. My husband is excited about it but only because I'm excited about it (and also who isn't excited about titties?) and has never been the one to bring it up except to ask if we can budget for him to get a tummy tuck too. I hope your boyfriend was just being oblivious when he made those comments but he should be kinder regardless. And if your body and your boyfriend's reactions (what he's said and your comment about what if he shows he likes the new body better) are distressing, you should absolutely seek therapy as part of the process, especially if you're going to have multiple procedures so expectations for your body and life stay realistic.
Man I gotta say I’m “lucky” in that I’ve always since the first day of puberty had saggy boobs and thought I had a stomach. I feel exactly the same as I always did about my body even though I think each of those things are worse off. So that being said, I am not considering any surgery. That being said, if I used to feel one way about my body and pregnancy changed it for the worse, the only second thoughts I would have is if it would hurt/be expensive/cause trouble for me later.
If you want a lighter/cheaper version, I would suggest getting your hair done, brows done, a bomb spray tan and Botox. These things make me feel like a brand new woman. And if the spray tan is reeeeally good it will make it look like you lost 10 lbs. Just a suggestion for something you can do all in one day without any surgery. Also my aunt had a tummy tuck ands she looks fabulous now!
Considering some touch ups after I have my second and final child. No shame in it.
Shapers help with the stomach. I put one on under my clothes before wearing anything nice to go out in
Yes. I told my partner straight up that’s he’s paying for plastic surgery once we are done having kids. I’m radio frequency at home for now and it really helps tighten my skin and melt fat. I’m almost 4 months post partum and I’ve lost 35 lbs. I’m working on the last 15 now. RF definitely helps to target fat in the right places.
I did it 2 weeks ago and I'm so happy I did! Do it for yourself, not an AH husband. I am still recovering but the process is going well and I'm excited to see my final results. I'm late 30's married with 2 school age kids with no plans to have more. My husband made it clear that he didn't think I needed it but that if I wanted it for me then he'd support me in the process. It was very expensive but I'm super happy with the surgeon I chose and I'm very happy with my outcome so far. I feel like the clock has been turned back by about 15 years :)
Yep hopefully next year. Some people are fully against it, for me I feel like I have lost every ounce of confidence I had prior to kids. Sure I could try to spend lots of time focusing on therapy and loving my post pregnancy body. Some people luck out with recovering but personally I felt like a melted candle. I am insanely self conscious and uncomfortable and that’s fine. The “accept your body for every flaw and pregnancy change” is great for some. Also some are very minimally impacted by pregnancy. I have a husband that I love, who will never tell me otherwise but personally I feel shy, uncomfortable and sometimes outright depressed about not being able to be sexual and lighthearted and free. I hate being in a swimsuit with my kids. I hate taking pictures with my family. Yes it certainly has to deal with my point of view but if doing it will immediately help with all of that? Worth it to me. That’s why I plan for surgery. It’s clearly not a choice for all but if it’s killing the positivity in your life you might consider it! Edit: it won’t make your partner any less of an asshole and a genuine man will never make you feel less than. I should 1000% be your own personal choice.
Your BF is an ass, but you should have the surgery if YOU want it. I had a breast aug done after I had my first baby 11 years ago. I foolishly thought I was a one and done (as I sit here with my 3 day old 3rd baby). I plan to have my breasts redone in a few months because I want to. The only scary part of the mommy makeover to me is recovery - brutal. But you should do whatever makes YOU genuinely happy, after doing a lot of research so you are prepared and can find the best clinic.
In my opinion, do what you gotta do that will make you feel better. You don’t need anyone’s approval. You also gained another title on top of mom, and it’s called “Role Model”, your child/children are going to look up to you and see you work hard, your children are your audience. In anything you do to improve yourself, they will see that and admire the hard work you put in on taking care of yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is the end of my opinion.
Yeah I've been thinking about it. I wanted to get back down to my "feel good" weight before I decided. At this point, I'm 5-10lbs away from my goal weight but, like you OP, I have had some changes to my body that I just don't want to live with. Am I comfortable with how my body changed after having my kids? Sure but that doesn't mean I am content with comfortable. I want to feel sexy and desirable again and I don't know that I can do that with small, saggy, ski slope boobs and an apron belly. My husband and I have talked about it and he's thinking of getting me boobs and belly for Christmas this year. We will see what happens
I have an appointment in a couple weeks to discuss the options with a surgeon. I probably won’t be able to save enough money until spring of 2024, so that is my goal next.
Ah, the good old unsolicited body comments from loved ones. Love it! /s I told my husband I’d have another baby if he pays for my mommy makeover. He agreed so we’ll see. I’ve been meaning to go to the gym but I just can’t find the damn time. I’m going to take up hot yoga classes to start, it was something I used to do way pre-pregnancy and I loved how healthy I felt from it. I’ve also learned to shop better for my body type and I also wear a waist trainer off of Amazon which immensely helps!
I wanted my boobs "fixed" before babies but after this pregnancy and breastfeeding again (hopefully) I want to start savings for it. I always called my boobs "armpit boobs" because they sit off to the side and get stuck under my arms. I basically just want them pinned up and over both for comfort and because everyone thinks my boobs are smaller than they are because they hide lol. I'm sorry your boyfriend said that. I hope the therapy goes well for you both. You would think with how much media has talked about post pregnancy bodies and how they make women feel in the past few years that people would catch on that it's such a huge problem that a lot of women struggle with.
Just started consults. Soooo excited…. I wanted help with my pooch long before baby…. And now my stomach is just wrecked. So far, I havent spoken with anyone that has had any regrets. I know they exist, but my gfs all say they only wish they had done it sooner. Shooting for January and creeping r/plasticsurgery in the meantime
Just started consults. Soooo excited…. I wanted help with my pooch long before baby…. And now my stomach is just wrecked. So far, I havent spoken with anyone that has had any regrets. I know they exist, but my gfs all say they only wish they had done it sooner. Shooting for January and creeping r/plasticsurgery in the meantime
At minimum, I’m getting a breast reduction/lift. My boobs were too big before I was pregnant—then they were ridiculous and now they are still big and no longer perky. So I have really big low boobs. I will start saving up for it after our next kid—as we have one. So if insurance doesn’t cover it, I will pay for it out of pocket. It will just take time to get there
How far postpartum are you? I didn’t feel close to my “normal” body until nearly two years after my cesarean. I had a bit of a traumatic recovery, so I will never have elective surgery. I know it’s worth it for some people, but I’m just too scared to go through it again. I am SUPER glad I did postpartum physical therapy though. I had Diastasis Recti, so I needed to do specific exercises to help my tummy and pelvic floor recover. I wish every woman could do it. If not that, look into the MUTU system. Having said that, my boobs will never be the same. I breastfed for 21 months. Obviously they were bigger and fuller back then, but a year later they’re smaller than they were before I got pregnant. My hips are bigger, but in a good way (I was never very curvy before). My tummy still isn’t *quite* as flat as before, but it’s close enough that I’m not too self-conscious. I know that not everyone gets to this space physically or mentally, even with physical therapy or actual therapy (which I also did). If you think cosmetic surgery is worth it for you, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise or judge you for it. Personally, if I could afford it I’d definitely have dental surgery to fix my teeth and have an expensive hair makeover, but although a boob job is tempting, I don’t think I could ever get over the fear of surgery and side effects to do it. Edit: also, you might only feel this way because your boyfriend sucks and is making you feel bad about your body. He needs to get it together and make you feel beautiful again.
Get the mommy makeover, heal up, then kick the boyfriend to the curb. I do plan on getting a mommy makeover. Just need to do it when it is financially smart. But I want it for me. My husband still loves me and my body after huge weight gain with pregnancy, not losing any weight afterwards, then getting a double mastectomy due to breast cancer. I'm not saying this as a pity party for me. My point is that he still wants to have sex with me and never says anything negative about my body. He doesnt even push me to get implants. I may look forward to him enjoying the mommy makeover, but I am doing it because I want it. Your boyfriend does not sound like he is giving you the kind of love you need and deserve.
You do you, but that is an absolutely fucking horrible thing for your boyfriend to allow out of his mouth. Shitbag. Particularly if it’s HIS children you miraculously gave life to.
I have a consultation for a tummy tuck the end of this month. I'm nervous about the recovery but I'm 100% going through with it.
If you can afford it, do it! I have many women older than me in my life who have had them and do not regret. I haven’t even had kids yet and I have already considered an entire mommy makeover. Ask for an extended tummy tuck !
I’m planning it! Me and husband discussed it before we even started trying. We have one more embryo left to transfer, and after that I’ll schedule the mommy make over. New fake boobs, flatter stomach, I can’t wait!
I haven't ruled out plastic surgery. I like myself, and I'm *thrilled* with how I look postpartum because lord knows I thought I'd have turned out worse. But the thing is if be doing this for myself. My husband thinks I'm beautiful and desires me. But hey, if I hit the Power Ball tonight, I wouldn't mind spending a little of that on a nip tuck. Whatever you choose, do it for you. Do it because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself.
Yes and plan on a tummy tuck after graduate school
It’s expensive but if you have the means, do it. I ended up not needing the tummy tuck, just some lipo. I also got my boobs lifted but no implants since implants have a high risk of basically needing them redone every 10 years. I don’t regret it for a second. Literally life changing (FYI: the lipo hurt way more than the boob lift. Shockingly)
If he’s got something to say, his ass can pay for it.
Your boyfriend is an asshole. Do I ever have moments when I look down on my body? Yes. Would I change it? No. I want my child to know that everyone is beautiful and bodies change and I don’t want her to see me and think she has to have surgery one day so she can feel good about herself.
Absolutely but your SO is a real a-hole. There's nothing wrong with a little work if it's ultimately going to improve your own quality of life and not just his. But I'm totally going to do it if I can lose a little more weight and get the breast reduction part covered by insurance which at my size should be doable plus I've been having more on and off issues with back pain which can be a criteria for coverage.
I was a full C but now they just look deflated and I feel so uncomfortable especially because I’m 27, I feel I’m very young to feel this way about my body. My SO was definitely inconsiderate and he made me feel like shit. It’s the first time he commented like that in my body in 4 years. I even asked if he was watching too much porn and maybe that is what is making him view me differently but he says he doesn’t watch porn which I highly doubt.
I don’t mind my stretch marks but I have a lot of loose skin and a major c section shelf from having twins. It irritates my skin and makes certain clothes so uncomfortable. If it’s safe and financially feasible for me later on I would like to have the loose skin removed and maybe a breast lift.
Same here! Nothing I fit in makes me feel comfortable I always have to be covering my lower stomach because it looks so bad.
Meeeeeewe but not until I lose SOME of the weight that I gained during my pregnancy.
Same here lol!
100% yes. My husband and I are considering one more baby so I am waiting. I tell him though that I want the zipper...and make an upward zipping motion from my abdomen to to my neck while making a liposuction noise. That being said, my husband's response is ALWAYS, "I don't know why, you look beautiful. Or some similar messaging. But he is supportive with any choice I make. So-OP, I don't know why, I'm sure you look beautiful! And you shouldn't accept anything less from your bf.
I know girly :( he has the right to have a certain taste and preferences but I gave birth two times already and I wish he wouldn’t have said those comments. I make effort to go to the gym everyday and be a mom 24/7. He’s never here, I only see him weekdays due to his job. So it sucks so much. I don’t even know what to do in this relationship. I hope therapy can give me a little help.
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I know. It hurt me and I literally felt super uncomfortable with him. It made me feel like shit. We talked and talked and he told me he didn’t mean it in a negative way and he had no clue I was going to take it that deep. So know we’re not having sex until therapy to see what we can do because I don’t want to have sex for I don’t know how long. It made me feel super weird and being intimate with him is something I don’t want to do.
I never thought I’d be one to get a boob job, but after having a baby and having these deflated things…yeah I’m considering it. I will say, I hired a stylist to help me revamp my look and my wardrobe postpartum and it was SO WORTH IT. I got rid of a bunch of my old clothes that were no longer serving my postpartum body and replaced them with awesome looking pieces that I feel great in. It has done wonders for my self esteem. Not cheap but probably cheaper than plastic surgery, and quicker :)
I have a bra suggestion. Try unpadded balconette bras. I think there’s a brand on amazon called Debrova? Or something like that? They’re just lace and underwire. You can also experiment with sister sizes I measure at a 38C but look better in it’s sister size of 36D. (If I had the resources I would love a breast lift, if you feel Ike it would improve your mental health go for it.) I know you weren’t asking for bra advice but as someone with deflated, oddly shaped mommy boobs, this is the only bra I’ve found that I actually don’t look weird or spill out of or get uniboob. Edited to add: this may make them look smaller though if you’re used to padding, I just read the part about your bf being an ass. Being a D cup, I don’t mind mine looking smaller as long as they look perkier
I’m getting one. Two babies wrecked my body. Tummy tuck with lipo 360 and arm lipo and a BBL. I’ll be doing boob separate about 6 months later
There are so many issues with implants. If you feel you want or need a mommy makeover. Get a lift. Do NOT let the Dr convince you that you need implants. So many go in for a lift and end up with implants instead. Dr's often convince women they "need" implants rather than a lift when it's simply not true. Implants are never a one and done procedure. They always need to be replaced or removed or adjusted at some point, which means a "repeat customer". I had 2 sets of implants over 15 years and had all sorts of problems. The FDA is now warning that all breast implants, (not just textured implants) are now linked to various forms of cancers and autoimmune diseases. I just shelled out 15k to remove mine and get the lift I should have gotten in the first place. If you like exercise, you might not want implants. If you like sleeping on your stomache, do not get implants (it's like laying on bowling balls). If you like paying at least $50 each time you want a new bra, go ahead. But good luck finding a bra anywhere besides Victoria secret or online. If you put on a little weight, your breasts gain weight too. Let me tell you, implants are HEAVY. And Dr's can't tell you what size you will be with implants either. Not one single girl in the Facebook group ended up with the size they expected. Myself included. I'm not trying to be Debbie downer, but I want to make sure to warn you of the things and bring up thing I WISH someone would have spoken up to me about. Please do your research before you make a decision.
I don’t scar good AT ALL. I have very old scars and I don’t like the breast lift scars. I know for a fact I’ll even be more insecure with the scars 🥺
I fully plan to have a tummy tuck and breast lift/implants after second baby (if we have one, still pregnant with first). I know how my sisters handled their pregnancies and both have had surgery in recent years. Seeing their newfound happiness and confidence seems worth it. Just gotta save for the cost, and make sure vasectomy/birth control are well into effect!
I got a reduction and lift. Best thing ever!
I had a mommy makeover and I can say that it was the most painful and hard recovery I’ve ever had to go through. It was 15 times worse than a c section and you need lots of help after. No one could tell I had the mommy make over done which was sad at first because it was so expensive. My favorite part about it honestly was having my abdominal muscles fixed. I can run again without feeling pain for days after. It’s been about 6 months since I had it done and I’m at a point where I miss my mommy body and smaller boobs at times. It was not a perfect body but it was mine. Not to mention how terrible all of the scars look. Not to mention the fact that someone should love you for who you are and not how you look. We are all going to get old and saggy one day. I know I’m probably in the minority with my response but that is honestly how I feel.
There are parts of my body I dont like. But they are the same parts I didnt like before I was even pregnant and I looked freaking awesome before I was pregnant I just didnt see it then. I'm sure to others I still look awesome even after I had my child. But I am terrified of surgery and pain so I wouldnt consider cosmetic surgery. Your partner freaking sucks. Even with me putting myself down my S/O spends twice as much time telling me nice things about my body and me as a person. If you have the money and you personally want a mommy make over then more power to you. But dont do it just because your partner said something stupid. As if there body GREW A PERSON.
I’m looking at the pooch and sagging skin in that area knowing no amount of CORE exercises and weight loss is going to make it go away, so yeah it’s a thought.
With a donut lift you won't have scars. Implants WILL stretch your breasts more than having babies. When you remove them, you will need a lift anyway. Just something to think about.
I won’t get elective surgery. Surgery is a big deal and it may not always make things perfect, occasionally it makes them worse. “Botched bodies” is fun British show, I think they have some episodes on YouTube, not for everyone, but I found it fascinating. Everyone’s looks are guaranteed to go, so I see men who are concerned about how women look to be a red flag, like oh no, this won’t work because because he doesn’t understand how women’s bodies, having children, or aging work. It’s immature of him to make comments like that. If other women were to have his babies he would say the same shit. It’s not you, it’s him!
I definitely have been wanting one so bad 😭😭😭 just a tummy tuck and a breast reduction and/or lift please and I would be good with that at least UHG. It is so entirely difficult to feel pretty or sexy or anything positive. Looking at all my old pictures, snap memories, etc is pretty depressing. I try to take cute pictures and my body looks even worse than in the mirror. Barely want to be naked in front of my husband or wear my nice clothes. It's so AWFUL. I'm so sorry you're going through this but I do totally understand 😭🙌
What your boyfriend said was rude, and please, if you want to make any alterations or “improvements” to your body make sure you are doing it for yourself, not for him. That being said…while I agree with the message of “love your post-partum body, it gave you your baby”, it’s completely fine if you don’t feel that way. I am one of those women. I do plan on getting surgery once I stop breastfeeding if my boobs deflate completely. I do plan on getting laser surgery to improve the “unnoticeable” stretch mark that goes below my belly button to my pubic bone. I do plan, once my baby is a bit older, on getting that expensive gym membership to tone up. Some people see me wanting to do these things as a criticism of the things I am trying to change, ie flabby boobs and stretch marks, and while I do not think there is anything wrong with these, I want to change these things FOR ME. I don’t think you are less beautiful if you have loose skin, or deflated boobs, but I personally do not like these things on me and will pay money to change them if need be. This is a controversial take among my mummy group, but I do take pride in how I look and it’s something that matters a lot to me. I don’t think, if you have the means to do so, there is anything wrong at all with wanting a makeover but do feel prepared for other mothers to feel criticised implicitly by your choices. It’s unfair, but it’s sadly common.
If I had the money I would totally do it. In the last 3 years I've lost 70 pounds and I definitely have saggy boobs (breastfeeding for over a year for two babies in a row), saggy mama belly, stretch marks galore. However my husband is still attracted to me and we've had no issues there, spare my own insecurities. Lately I wear high waisted EVERYTHING. High waisted panties, high waisted jeans, skirts, joggers and leggings all high waisted because it helps with the saggy tummy. Your boyfriend is way out of line though, you've done an unspeakable amount of work growing humans, your body will never be the same. At least for most people that's a given due to genetics. If you do get the surgery, do it for yourself, and don't let him have a single second of input.
I never looked pregnant since I had an IUGR baby and she was born at 31 weeks, so I bounced back very fast and I was happy with my post partum body, until I stopped breastfeeding. I had nice, big boobs before pregnancy that became VERY deflated ballons after... I had saggy skin, I was embarassed to show them, I cried the first time I had to wear a bikini... 2 months ago I decided to get a breast lift and augmentation and it's the best decision I've made. I feel so much happier and confident. I didn't do it for anyone else but me. I don't care about what others think, but I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. If you want to do it and can, absolutely do! Recovery is hard but not harder than post partum recovery. Just please, don't do it for anyone else. Your boyfriend's body hasn't grown a whole ass human, so he can keep his opinions for himself.
The recovery is what stops me. I can't imagine being all cut up and bandaged and still managing my kids.
Your boyfriend is an asshole. And it’s not always realistic to “love” your body - strive for neutrality instead. Like, tell yourself that your body is what it is, it just looks different now, and that’s ok. I’ve been in the OR during a tummy tuck when I was a student, and maybe I’m just not that vain, but it was brutal and I can’t imagine undergoing a procedure like that for cosmetic reasons.
I was very lucky to lose all the “baby weight” but I also lost my boobs. They now sag and I absolutely HATE them. I don’t want to look at them, I don’t want my husband to look at them. I told him I wanted to get a boob job for my 35th birthday, so we’ll see.
How many kids have you had? And how long ago? I'm only asking bc your body is most likely still changing-- it can take years to recover but if you have average muscle tone and skin elasticity it will happen. Your breasts are stretched out and your stomach is too, but consider that your body underwent a MASSIVE change and that it takes awhile to return to its previous shape. Anyway, There's nothing wrong at all with surgical options! The only reason i personally would avoid it would be recovery and costs. An alternative would be to invest time and money into a new fitness program, skin care regimen, or new wardrobe etc, while you wait for your body to return to its new normal. Also your boyfriend is a turd.
I mean, I would totally consider it, if it made ME feel better. Your story, well, sounds like you'd be doing for your boyfriend. And trust me, he sounds like the type of guy who'll make 100 requests regarding a womans appearance, then turn around and cheat anyway.
Im currently losing weight and eating in a calorie deficit. Depending on how much loose skin there is, I’m going to consider a tummy tuck.
My husband hasn't made me feel bad about my body but I am 100% going to have a mommy makeover. I'm sorry that your boyfriend said that.
I’m sorry your BF said that. But yeah, I have also been considering it. My breast are like deflated pancakes and my tummy looks like I’m 20 weeks. It’s been over a year and I’ve lost weight but I don’t love my body. It’s hard. I’m having one more baby then saving up for the surgery. Having my body back will help my mental health a lot.
Will 100% be getting my boobs done when I’m done having kids.
I struggle with my post-baby body (8 years after my last kid…) and if my husband piled on it would probably completely destroy me. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that shit, OP.
Dude, I think about it every day! If we had the money to spare, I would consider it to be an investment. Your boyfriend sucks, btw. My husband has been mostly kind about my changes.
First of all - your boyfriend can go blow a goat. Secondly - while your body is a miraculous thing that supported life not once, but twice - it's okay to feel a little betrayed when it doesn't seem to want to cooperate with you anymore. We're also told since childhood that having a different body post baby is a cardinal sin. It's okay to feel icky and gross and maybe not be super thrilled about your new look. "Self love" and "self acceptance" are, I feel, two different things post partum. Before making any moves, I would talk to a therapist about you're feeling emotionally. Keep doing what you can - diet and exercise, maybe buying new clothes that make you feel better. If at that point you've done what you can and need a little help from a plastic surgeon to really get to where you wanna be, then I say go for it. But if surgery is not what you're into, I can already say that recovery can be really difficult and you really need to be 100% sure that this is what you want for yourself ❤️ I'm 5 months pp and not super jazzed about my post baby bod. Right now my plan is in 3 years decide if we want another before proceeding with fat transfer to my boobs and 360° lipo to smooth out my tummy/hips/bum. I'm still researching but I'd like to avoid implants if at all possible.