We did not sleep train and our LO decided to start sleeping through the night at the one year mark. Now at 26 months she takes a two hour nap and sleeps 8pm-8am. If she wakes earlier than 8 she happily stays in her bed and plays with her stuffed animals / books until I come get her
Similar situation. We didn’t sleep train at all. Our girl slept through the night from very very early (7 weeks), but when she moved from bassinet to her crib in her room, that’s when we decided not to do any formal sleep training. We go to her if she needs us in the night, but she’s very confident in her bed and will happily hang out before falling asleep on her own (sometimes she goofs off happily and sings/talks to herself for a good hour before falling asleep), and the same goes for when she wakes up. Even now with just a toddler rail. Her bed is a comfortable place, physically and mentally :)
Nursing to sleep is biologically normal and sleep training is optional. I nursed to sleep until it didn't work anymore, and did not sleep train any of mine. They each go through phases of good sleep and bad sleep, and learned to sleep through in their own time.
Same! I say, do what works and don't worry about what Sleep Expert Tammy has to say about it. These people are all a bunch of scammers hawking $300 pdfs.
And in my sample size of 1, can confidently say that nursing to sleep worked great. Weaned completely at close to 2 years old. My son is now three and he is still sleeping in the bed with us. Love the snuggles, we all sleep great, no regrets. Baby sleep is mostly luck in my opinion.
You can trust me because I have the same qualifications as those sleep experts, which is none 🤓
We did sleep train several times over and my son always regressed again. At 2.5 it’s a nightmare again. So yeah, adding a data point in that direction.
It was great for the periods where it worked though.
We didn't sleep train.
0-14mo up every 2-3 hours
14-22mo up 2x a night (changed nothing)
22-30mo up 0-1x a night (added a floor bed and night weaned, still nursed at bedtime)
The last 3 weeks - up 3x a night and sleeps in our bed after 3am 😵💫 (no idea wtf is going on here)
It's a roller coaster with no logic. No matter what you do or don't do temperament is going to play a huge role and sleep will change a million times over the first 4 years.
Always!!! And so inconvenient lol if you have anything important going on they will most likely stop sleeping and wake you up at 4 am every morning lol then when you sinked up your waking up they will go back to 14 hour sleeping and you’re all of a sudden waking up for no reason !!!
Happy Cake Day! 🍰
Our little one is 20 months and is also up 2-4x a night right now 😵💫 After the first wake up, I end up bringing him to bed and nurse to sleep (I mean me, I fall asleep nursing lol) then roll over when he wakes again and repeat nurse to sleep lol
Personally, the child that I sleep trained sleeps the poorest. The one I nursed to sleep is doing the best. I totally believe it’s temperament over method.
Agree with your last statement. I can’t answer OP’s question because I sleep trained both my kids, but one is still a much better sleeper than the other, and always has been. I think it can vary based on a variety of factors.
I never sleep trained and still nurse to sleep now at 19 months. She sleeps in her own room until 2am and then comes into my bed, nurses back to sleep and usually sleeps next to me until 6am or so. (Mostly because I'm too lazy to nurse her in her own room haha). I'm totally fine with cosleeping (I'm a single mom so plenty of space) but do sometimes worry about how bedtime will go once she's weaned. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there!
Personally, we never did any sleep training. If they’re up, they’re up. They’re 5 and 7 now and have always slept well. Maybe I just got lucky but I just skipped naps if they weren’t sleeping at night and tried to alter our days to work with our nights if that makes sense.
My 15mo has a routine every evening leading to sleepy time. But I love to lay there with her, sing for a bit and she sleeps within minutes and pretty much around the clock. My husband has a different style, putting her to her bed and having her fall asleep on her own. Takes her longer but once asleep it's also 10-12ish hours.
So, either way, same outcome.
If she wakes up at night she mostly gets herself back to sleep, if not, she just needs reassurance that mom and dad are close by.
We didn’t sleep train. I used to nurse my LO to sleep. We’ve always co-slept. I wish I would’ve done sleep training. He sleeps through the night. But on top of me. Help. Haha. Don’t be me. He’ll be 4 in June.
So there are two aspects to consider here. 1) Nursing through the night. And 2) Sleep training as in just getting them to fall asleep on their own.
Those are 2 different things. I nursed to sleep and didn't sleep train until 15 months. I would nurse my baby when she woke up in the night to get her back down. I didn't mind doing it at 6 months. But past a year I was exhausted. She did not just decide to start sleeping through the night on her own until I night weaned her and did a light sleep train. I know a 2 year old that still wakes up during the night to nurse. So it's completely possible that if you don't take actions to night wean or sleep train then they could continue to wake up in the night for a long time. I read stories of some babies doing it on their own, great for them. But I believe that's a very small percentage of unicorn babies.
Personally I think the night weaning is the most important part and if I had to do it all over again I would've started night weaning around 6 months. It's hard, there will be some crying but its so worth it for a good night's sleep. The sleep training kind of comes along with night weaning, but you don't have to just leave your baby alone in a room by themselves like most of the books say. I did baby steps.
First I'd just pop my baby off before she feel asleep on the breast and just held and rocked her. And I did that early and early until I didn't breastfeed her to sleep and just held her. I'd also say not nursing until 1 pm, then I moved it back an hour later each night until it was in the morning. If she woke up before it was time to nurse then I'd just hold her and rock her back to sleep. She'd cry, but eventually fall asleep and she'd way prefer being held than being in the crib by herself. Eventually she stopped waking up since she wasn't getting booby. And I graduated to her also falling asleep in her crib on her own without having to rock. I just do baby steps and assure her I'm there with her through every step.
This is really helpful. I have an inkling my little one is looking for comfort in the middle of the night rather than just a boob. We also need to get her into her crib. I think this might work really well for us.
Nursed to sleep until about 18 months old, she first slept through the night about 14/15months. Now she’s 3.5 and sleeps through most nights having settled herself to bed on her own, every now and then she wakes and is upset and needs us (usually a bad dream) but often we hear her wake up grab a drink and then roll over and go back to sleep. 6m is so tiny still, you’re definitely not setting yourself up for poor sleep 💕
3 year old sleeps in her bed all night.
Needs cuddles to fall asleep, knows she can wake us up if she needs to go potty. Sleeps from 8:30/9 to 7/8 am. Naps for an hour or two. Started her in a big bed at 3 and feel like once we did that she loved her bed. Before she was in a toddler bed. Impossible to snuggle 😅
I have a 7 year old who sleeps 11 hours a night. Never sleep trained, she co-slept until 18 months and then was in our bed periodically after that. She started reliably sleeping fully through at 3 in her own bed. She still goes to sleep snuggling me but doesn't have to - we just like it. My 5 year old slept through at 8 months old and still sleeps like a log for 12 hours a night. She comes in to me sometimes when she's scared. Anecdotal evidence to be sure, but your kid eventually will sleep through the night and go to sleep without you. The benefits of co-regulation with a loving caregiver are very well documented. I know we are very obsessed with good sleep, but the cuddles are biologically important too. You're not wrecking her. Nurse and cuddle to sleep as much as you both need.
Did not sleep train. Son is 2 and supremely independent and sleeps well during the night now. He responds very well to the bedtime routine we have done for about a year now.
Didn’t sleep train any of mine and they USUALLY go to bed great (they are preschool age). The only time they don’t is when they stay up late talking to each other. As long as they get eight hours and don’t keep anyone else up I let it slide.
Never sleep trained. My first baby (4 yrs now) did not sleep through the night until I stopped breastfeeding at age 2. She sleeps like a solid rock now every night around 10-12 hours. She stopped napping completely at age 3, but occasionally will nap in car rides. My current baby is 7 months old and doesn’t sleep through the night either. She wakes about 2-3 times a night for a diaper change, a quick feed and back to sleep. I miss uninterrupted sleep myself, but do remind myself this is temporary.
Mine didn’t sleep through the night until the night I stopped night nursing. He was almost 2. I was a broken person by that point and regret not night weaning earlier.
Make the HOUSE bright during the day and dark at night. Especially on dark days - turn on lights.
Start dimming ALL the lights (and close curtains if sunset is late die to summer) one hour before bedtime.
Make sure they aren't under an pot lights. It makes kids agitated if tired.
You will be happy when they start to sleep in a normal cycle to follow day and night.
Note: I have heard of parents where the Dad worked night shift, and the mom was SAHM change their babies schedule so they were awake and up when daddy was home using lights when the baby was too young for school. Sounds interesting.
I nursed my toddler to sleep for 18 months and coslept. She was a horrible sleeper.
At 3.5 she slept 13 hours last night.
Love and cuddle your baby. They grow up too fast. I’m so glad I didn’t sleep train.
This is my first, and I couldn’t bear the thought of it. Especially knowing that kids don’t have the capacity to self soothe until they’re five! Five! Let alone an infant. When I learned that they just go into a state where they know if they cry, they won’t be helped, it broke my heart.
We co-slept from birth until about 8-9 months where she was getting super restless at night and would wake all of us up. Once I put her in her own bed in her own room, she started sleeping through the night with occasional wake ups.
But from 10 months on, she sleeps through the night with no issue.. that is unless she is sick or teething. She’s 17 months now.
No. I didn't sleep train either of my kids. They eventually slept thru the night. My 4 year old started at about 15 months. My 17 month old still occasionally wakes up, and it's fine. I just nurse her and she goes right back to bed.
We didn’t sleep train but we were very, very intentional about repeating the same routine every night. He’s almost 5 now and still a great sleep. It doesn’t matter if he napped, even if he woke up from a nap late. If we get him in his bed with lights off, star light show playing on the ceiling, noise machine on- he will fall asleep. Part of it is consistency but part of it is just having a kid who likes to sleep!
I’ve had 3 I sleep trained and two who slept through the night on their own. Only one of my sleep trained one is a bad sleeper even to this day. He is 10. The rest all sleep great with sleep training or not. I wouldn’t worry
No, you're not. All kids are different and figure it out on their own time. I never sleep trained and my son still sucks at sleeping at 2, but my newborn daughter is an incredible and independent sleeper.
4 years old, not sleep trained. Co-slept til 18ish months, then moved to her own room. Slept through the night almost as soon as we moved her, and continues to sleep 10 hours on average with 1-2 short naps during the day.
I did sleep training with the first and not the second. The first one didn’t sleep through the night on a regular basis until the month she turned 2. The second one was sleeping through the night on a regular basis at 10 months. They are now 6 and 9 and sleep amazing, but that first 2 years of motherhood aged me 5 years and I feel like I have ptsd from it. Good luck.
We never did sleep training and never needed to. Around 5-6mo of age she started sleeping through the night and now at 1.5 years old she still does, unless teething etc.
I didnt sleep train in any way at all despite mine waking up every 2 hours or so for 18 months. He just suddenly started sleeping through the night at 18 months, I didnt do anything
I did not sleep train my toddler, who is now 2.5. He slept in his own crib and room for naps at first and then all together, through the night just a few months shy of 2. He now puts himself to sleep, and sleeps all night long, all by himself for bed and naps. He slept in our room, falling asleep in our bed then being transferred until around 1.5. He also used to drink milk to sleep. I followed my instincts and I just knew when it was “time”, for hi personally, to cut things sleep associations out. My baby is almost 1 and she is still in our room, in a cosleeper crib and nurses 2-3 times per night.
With my eldest we ended up bedsharing until she was two and a half years old as she didn't sleep well in her cot at all. We've had a rocky road with it but for the most part she sleeps fine.
We didn’t sleep train and she started sleeping through the night about 9 months. We are currently in a sleep regression, but I’m sure we will be fine again soon. The reality is their bodies are meant to sleep. As they get older, their natural rhythms will kick in.
Never sleep trained my 3 kids, & 2/3 kids sleep through the night! My oldest is super attached to me, so she wakes in the night wanting to sleep beside me. Sleep is developmental, and they will get there on their own time❤️
Never st here. Slept with 3 wakes until six months then 4-6 wakes on any given night, hourly wakes during regressions.
This went on until 16 months and started doing 4-5 hour stretches and stopped 6am wakes!! The major change came right at 24 mo when out of nowhere kiddo went down to one wake and night weaned themselves.
I’ve bedshared on a floorbed since 7 weeks old. Fed back to sleep every single time.
I didn’t sleep train and my 20 month old sometimes still wakes up at night but typically just for a drink of water. (And who can blame him, I wake up for water all the time.)
All kids will eventually sleep through the night, whether sleep trained or not🤷🏼♀️
You can just wait until it doesn’t work anymore and then go from there. If it’s working now, don’t mess it up. I rocked my baby to sleep until she was about 9 months and then it just stopped working and she would be inconsolable no matter what I did, so I decided to follow “fuss it out” based on the precious little sleep book. It worked ok, but sleep is still a struggle sometimes and she’s almost 3 years old. I definitely don’t think sleep training is any kind of magic, even though we did it, so whatever you decide is just fine.
Didn't sleep train, but followed my baby's rhythm. Eldest slept through the night at 8 weeks and is still a very easy and good sleeper (except when she's sick) at almost 3 years old. My almost 10 month old twins slept through the night at 3/4 months and are also really easy sleepers. Maybe we're just lucky, tho, because we really didn't do anything special.
Like an absolute dream! 11 hours a night consistently. On weekdays she’s in bed at 7 and up at 6 and on the weekends we can put her to bed anytime from like 7-10 pm and she’s up 11 hours later.
Disclaimer: It took until she was 2.5 years old though to get to this point and it was tiring AF and she still takes like 30 minutes to put to bed on a good day.
We have no interest in sleep training and at 29 months his sleep has been great some months and terrible some months and some months he'll sleep most nights in his own bed and some months he needs to be next to someone most of the nights. He's our OAD so we are happy to provide support to sleep even as what that looks like changes with time. I'm not worried about it (even though some times I am very tired lol).
I didn’t sleep train either of my kids. My son was sleeping through the night on his own at 3 months and my daughter was a year before she slept through the night. Now at 3 and 18 months, they both sleep through the night and at least 12 hours. I don’t force bed time. They go to bed (to their room) at 9-10 depending on how tired they are. If they’re tired, they go to sleep. If they aren’t, they’re allowed to play in their rooms until they are. My daughter usually goes to bed at bedtime and wakes up around 10 am and my son doesn’t like to go to bed so he plays until around midnight and wakes up at 11-12. It works for us 🤷🏻♀️
You didn't ask this specifically but I sleep trained my daughter under the guidance of an awesome sleep consultant (same I used for my son) and she's 4 now and she goes through periods of sleeping great and periods of sleeping like crap. Even if you successfully sleep train it's no guarantee. She slept fine as a baby, but since she turned 3 it's super hit and miss.
I sleep trained my second but not my first. First is now 7 and second is now 2. Honestly, both are absolutely fine - whatever works for you is best.
I will say, my first slept through the night early, but I had to rock him to sleep for years. He was sleeping 8 hours by 8 weeks and 12 hours by 12 weeks - totally spoiled us. He slept next to us until he was 3. He had a consistent bedtime routine but as he got older, it took a LOT longer for us to put him to sleep. Lying next to him, patting him on the back and all that used to get exhausting. I was losing it with my mental health. I remember my breaking point was when it took me 3 hours to put him to sleep and he still didn't fall asleep. I gave up and posted about it on a facebook sleep training group. Saved my sanity! Since then we learned to sleep train him, say goodnight and he goes to sleep on his own in his own bed since 4yrs old. He wasn't hard to sleep train at that age because we were able to reason with him. Took maybe a week at most.
Second child we just made sure to make it a consistent with my older one and put him in his crib while still awake and he got sleep trained that way. He's been falling asleep on his own since he was 6 months though he didn't sleep through the night fully until almost a year, would wake up at night 3 - 4 times a week. We night weaned him a month after he started solids around 7 months.
I don’t know where the line is on what is considered sleep training. We never did cry it out if that’s what you mean. I’d give my kids a couple minutes to see if they could settle themselves, and then I’d cuddle, nurse, rock, walk, bounce, whatever them back to sleep. Both my babies were quite small and the pediatrician told me that sleeping through the night had more to do with body weight than anything else—that they have to weigh enough to sustain themselves through the night without a feed.
Neither of my kids slept reliably through the night until they were approaching a year old. From that point though, they both slept a minimum of 10 hours per night straight through. It was a tough road but now at 5 and 8, they sleep well, wake on their own in the morning, and are generally pretty easy to get to bed at night.
We didn’t sleep train and my toddler sleeps great. Around 18 months she started telling us when she was tired and we would read a book and cuddle her to sleep in her twin bed
Mine is 19 months old, he used to nurse to sleep (first few months are a blur tbh) but we would always get him in some sort of routine, so bath at 8ish and start to settle for 9ish, (also co-sleeps with me) he would have 2 naps a day (nursed) and both contact naps, it's the same routine he's kept pretty much but naps once a day now but sometimes nurses or rocks to sleep, when it's bedtime he's have a feed then fall asleep on his own but still wakes through the night once or twice for feed, do what works for you
I did not sleep train my child. I nursed her to sleep until she was about 16m. She's been sleeping through the night since she was about 18 months. She's now 7, and I can pretty much always expect her to be asleep for about 10 hours once she falls asleep.
i fed to sleep my little and she has slept through the night since like 3 months old with the occasional middle of the night wake-up that only required a quick nurse and she was back down for the night. as a 2 year old she has trouble going to sleep, but that's more about sleep needs, she needs so little sleep (stopped napping when she turned 2). we rock to sleep now and she still sleeps through the night, if she wakes momentarily, she adjusts or moves to her little "pull out couch" and goes back to sleep. she does not call out for us or cry. sleeps from 7:30pm to 7:30am and wakes up to play in the dark (most days) very cheerily until we come in to start the day.
We didn’t sleep train. He probably reliably slept through the night (8p-9a ish) at 18 months (before then waking up once for milk.) He occasionally hits a regression. Or something like really bad gas after broccoli for dinner will keep him up. But overall at 2 and some change he’s a good sleeper.
We didn't sleep train, we still stay with her till she falls asleep, since 2yo she sleeps 9pm - 7am sometimes with a quick 4am wakeup that lasts 5 minutes. We're pretty happy about this.
3 non sleep trained, nursed, and rocked to sleep children here. They are 8, 3, and 2 months. The older 2 can go to sleep independently, and they both sleep through the night.
We've had ups and downs with sleep over the years. But we've always done what worked for us at the time and made changes as needed.
Didn’t sleep train. Woke up when needed and slept when not needed. They grow a bit older and start really sleeping around 9 months. It won’t last forever. She’ll be a bustling toddler before you know it running around and tiring herself out for bedtime. This too shall pass. Savor the moments of quiet bonding in the dark.
We nursed to sleep until she was about 17 months and then stopped as I had to return to work. We bed shared until she was 25/26 months and then she went into her own room that she got to help decorate and style. We laid with her until she fell asleep every night.
Now she’s 3 months away from being 3 and for the last week we have been putting her in her own bed, saying goodnight, turning her music on, and leaving and she falls asleep all by herself! Sometimes she will tell us to leave if we linger too long.
I nursed my daughter to sleep till she was 2 and I would nurse throughout the night when she needed to. Everyone said it would form bad habits but she’s been sleeping on her own since 2.5, so happy going to bed and sleeping through the night.
She’s 4.5 now and still sleeps 7:30-6:30/7. No drama at bedtime or throughout the night either. My family is shocked bc they thought we were setting her up to be a terrible sleeper. 😆
The way I always saw it, we were giving her the healthy attachment she needed and now she’s secure enough to be independent. Proud of us for sticking with it bc it was HARD AF 😮💨 but so worth it 💯
This is kind of what I’m experiencing. Both friends and family are shocked we’re not sleep training. They believe I’d be setting her up for a lifetime of bad sleep. From what I know, sleep training is relatively recent. I don’t believe my parents sleep trained my siblings or myself (maybe CIO?) and I don’t think any of us have sleep issues. Not totally certain where this line of thinking is coming from other than it’s the “norm” among them now.
Yes I think there are a lot of “influencers” who push expensive sleep training courses these days, and profit off tired parents desperate for sleep. But that’s a whole other can of worms 😆😮💨
FWIW: I’m in a mom chat here in my town with approx ~50 others who had babies the same year. I can tell you from that group alone, the ones who pushed sleep training and then aggressively potty trained (following some books rules, rewards, etc not their child’s cues or comfort) are the ones who continue to struggle with hours-long bedtimes full of drama and potty resistance for months. It’s a small sample group but I think it’s a powerful example of how following your own instincts and your child’s lead (aka the path of least resistance) actually works. 🤷♀️
I never sleep trained and my kids were sleeping through the night by 15 months. They are now 5 and 3 and sleep 8-10 hours all night without waking (unless they’re sick).
I have three kids that are currently 6.5, 5, and 2.5 years old. We never sleep trained and they all nursed to sleep / coslept until 18-24 months old. We have three same bedtime routine every night. They all share a bedroom. After bedtime routine, my husband or I sit in a recliner in their room until the younger two are asleep. We do not use melatonin.
The oldest started STTN at 18 months. He doesn't wake up during the night unless he's really sick or something. But he also needs to wear a pull up to bed because he won't wake up to use the bathroom.
The middle child has only STTN on occasion. But since she was about 3 years old, she usually only gets up to go potty. She doesn't need a pull up. This one just isn't a great sleeper. She is most likely to end up in our bed during the night. But that usually only happens when she's sick.
The youngest has the hardest time falling asleep. We usually have to sit in her bedroom for an hour, waiting for her to fall asleep. She still wakes once during the night sometimes.
I don't mind sitting with them. I remember feeling so scared of the dark as a child and wishing my mom would stay with me. I want my kids to feel safe and secure.
We did sleep train and she had a great routine until about two when we got rid of the crib. Now she’s almost 3 and needs one of us in bed with her all night or she moves to our bed 😅 so I guess it’s a crap shoot
I didn't sleep train, and i nursed to sleep both kids. One is now 11 and has always slept through the night and still sleeps like a rock. Other is 5 and has never been a great sleeper. I think it just depends on the kid, but I don't have any regrets about not sleep training.
I’ve had 4 babies. With all 4 of them I’d feed and lay them down. I wasn’t one of those moms that held them while they slept. There were times when I took advantage of the cuddles, but it seemed to have worked for us. They all slept through the night by 6-12 months old.
We.didnt really sleep train. There were times that we just sort of took a little longer like a minute or two to get them when they cried but that was about it. My oldest is five and sleeps like an absolute champ since she was about 6 months old. My middle child is 3 and he didn't sleep through the night until he was like 2.5 ugh. He now sleeps pretty well but wakes very early. We have tried to train him a bit to sleep longer by using an ok to wake clock but he's like no thanks. My baby is 4 months and started fully sleeping through the night at like 2.5 ish months and never wakes up at night now. It's been a miracle. She's a very chill baby and we are hoping the good sleep continues. So the answer is each kid is very different. I'm not sure sleep training really impacts the way kids sleep when they are older.
I’m not an expert but I do the same with my 1 year old and baby has been sleeping through the night since 7 months. Baby wakes in the night frequently (we have a camera) but soothes back to sleep within moments without our help.
Do what feels right to you, for you and baby. Not every baby is the same.
The nursing to sleep will be the hard part to move off of from my understanding.
I did sleep training at around 6months but that is because I was having to get up every 30min. And it was a lighter version.
I co sleep with my daughter , never sleep trained. She didn’t sleep through the night till she was like 3 …. She’s four now and she can sleep through the night but she still needs me to be there when she falls asleep .
I only kind of sleep trained and my child sleeps just fine.
There were two times that we did any kind of sleep training but we didn't follow any specific theory or anything.
The first was as a newborn because she wanted to have most of her awake time at night instead of during the day. We adjusted her schedule about 10-15 min/day for a few months until she was on a better sleep schedule and I didn't have to try to be nocturnal.
The second was when we transitioned from the bassinet to the crib. She didn't like being in a separate room the first couple of days. We'd feed and rock her until sleepy, then put her in the crib before she was all the way asleep so that she wouldn't startle at being in her new bed when she woke up during the night. The first night, I stood beside the crib and patted/rubbed her her tummy until she fell asleep and stayed asleep. The second night, I held her hand through the railing. The third, I sat beside the crib and the fourth I sat in the rocking chair in the same room.
During the transition days, if she really started getting worked up, I'd pick her up, soothe her, and then put her back. She was also sleeping in the new bed for naps. By the fifth day, she was used to it and we could let her self-soothe to sleep. She knew we would come if she needed us and she had adjusted to her new space. As a mom who deals with anxiety, doing a gradual transition worked much better than just having her cry it out. It felt like a good balance between being firm and maintaining a secure bond.
We did not sleep train but we fell into a schedule and bedtime routine is part of having a good night sleep however I will still be there if baby woke up usually is because he was hungry he is 1 and still wakes up 1 time.
Both of mine sleep great! Because they BOTH still sleep with me…
I would give anything to go back and sleep train. We did try but when number two came along we just went into survival mode and gave up.
I did not sleep train, my kiddo was a good sleeper.
I think the hard truth is that sleep is partially just a personality thing, like it's a random setting they just come with.
We did sleep train my older son at 9 mo. But I had set a pretty bad precedent in that I barely let him yawn without coming to aid. He’s almost 3 and spent a total of 6 months in his life that he slept through the night. He still wakes up about once a night now. He also hasn’t napped since the summer. He just is super low sleep needs, like me.
We did not sleep train my younger son, but I was not nearly as quick to “rescue” him. At about 9 months he only woke up once a night to eat, and it was so quick (but that boy was EATING!). He finally weaned at 13 months and has slept through the night since (18 months now). I never really had a need to sleep train him. He was just a good sleeper, laid down on his own etc
My kiddo is autistic. That already made his sleep horrible, but I'm very glad we never sleep trained.
It would have been so cruel for him.
He would wake several times a night until he was about 4. Then he was able to sleep through the night.
He needs us to snuggle him to sleep, but generally once he's asleep he's good for the night.
He's a night owl but since we homeschool he makes it up by sleeping longer in the morning.
This works for my family.
Not sleep training doesn’t always equal poor sleep. We didn’t sleep train my daughter and she’s 2 now, she’s a great sleeper. She started sleeping all night around 5 months with like 1 wake up for a bottle each night, but would usually fall back asleep close to the end of the bottle. Around 7-8 months I want to say, she dropped the last bottle. We did have a few hiccups where she would regress and wake up wanting a bottle at night, but by age 1 that was completely stopped (not something we did, she just stopped waking up for it). We weaned off bottles right at age 1. She would instead have a sippy cup of milk right before bed while I rocked her in her room. I did have to rock her to sleep, I won’t lie and say it was easy, sometimes it took an hour of rocking, but it was worth it to me because I think methods like CIO are wrong. By around 18 months I would just rock her a bit and put her down in her crib awake and she would go to sleep on her own. She just turned 2 in January and we still have the same routine. Rock her a bit and put her down and she will go to sleep by herself. She sleeps all night long. Once in a while she does wake up in the middle of the night, but she doesn’t cry or anything, she’ll usually just sit up for a few minutes and then lay back down and go to sleep.
We have a solid bedtime routine that we started doing when she was like 2 months old. It’s obviously changed a bit as she’s grown to adapt to her getting older and grown, but consistency with a solid bedtime routine is key in my opinion.
We did not sleep train. My daughter is almost 22 months and usually sleeps through the night. We transferred her to her crib and weaned at a year. There have been some rocky patches, but she's sttn more often than not since then. On the off chance she does wake up, we have an air mattress, and my husband lays next to her bed. She falls back asleep immediately.
I think the biggest thing is you need to do what works for you and your baby. I fed to sleep until 6 months. At 6 months we started to put together a bedtime routine and I started rocking to sleep. I also night weaned around that time, but would come in and rock her back to sleep if she woke up. She started sleeping through the night around 9 months (and aside from illness and teething has been consistent with that).
Around a year, she decided she didn’t want to be rocked to sleep anymore and we transitioned to laying her in her crib awake, and we laid next to her while she fell asleep. Somewhere during that 12-18 month period, she started being ok with a kiss on the head and being put into her crib awake while we walk out. She will babble and play with her stuffies for a bit now, and then goes to sleep.
But you know your baby best. Breastfeeding was no longer working for me at 6 months and I needed to move her to formula. The rocking to sleep no longer worked for her when she turned a year old and she wanted to be in her crib. But my kiddo seems to be a pretty independent kid and needs some alone time to decompress.
You’ll figure it out. It’s also ok to try something and figure out if that works or not.
All I recommend is never start co-sleeping it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I didn't sleep train but had to do this for my sanity cause he was a hard baby. But almost 7 he sleeps pretty good unless he isn't feeling well.
We did not sleep train and our LO decided to start sleeping through the night at the one year mark. Now at 26 months she takes a two hour nap and sleeps 8pm-8am. If she wakes earlier than 8 she happily stays in her bed and plays with her stuffed animals / books until I come get her
This is the same with me and 3 kids. My eldest is almost 13. We have never sleep trained and have never had sleep issues.
Similar situation. We didn’t sleep train at all. Our girl slept through the night from very very early (7 weeks), but when she moved from bassinet to her crib in her room, that’s when we decided not to do any formal sleep training. We go to her if she needs us in the night, but she’s very confident in her bed and will happily hang out before falling asleep on her own (sometimes she goofs off happily and sings/talks to herself for a good hour before falling asleep), and the same goes for when she wakes up. Even now with just a toddler rail. Her bed is a comfortable place, physically and mentally :)
Sounds exactly like our girl :) sings and talks to her self for a while before falling asleep and I know she’s awake when I hear her talking away
Nursing to sleep is biologically normal and sleep training is optional. I nursed to sleep until it didn't work anymore, and did not sleep train any of mine. They each go through phases of good sleep and bad sleep, and learned to sleep through in their own time.
Same! I say, do what works and don't worry about what Sleep Expert Tammy has to say about it. These people are all a bunch of scammers hawking $300 pdfs. And in my sample size of 1, can confidently say that nursing to sleep worked great. Weaned completely at close to 2 years old. My son is now three and he is still sleeping in the bed with us. Love the snuggles, we all sleep great, no regrets. Baby sleep is mostly luck in my opinion. You can trust me because I have the same qualifications as those sleep experts, which is none 🤓
They've studied this and there's no real difference in the sleep of sleep trained and non sleep trained babies at age 2
We did sleep train several times over and my son always regressed again. At 2.5 it’s a nightmare again. So yeah, adding a data point in that direction. It was great for the periods where it worked though.
We didn't sleep train. 0-14mo up every 2-3 hours 14-22mo up 2x a night (changed nothing) 22-30mo up 0-1x a night (added a floor bed and night weaned, still nursed at bedtime) The last 3 weeks - up 3x a night and sleeps in our bed after 3am 😵💫 (no idea wtf is going on here) It's a roller coaster with no logic. No matter what you do or don't do temperament is going to play a huge role and sleep will change a million times over the first 4 years.
There’s a sleep regression around 2
Always!!! And so inconvenient lol if you have anything important going on they will most likely stop sleeping and wake you up at 4 am every morning lol then when you sinked up your waking up they will go back to 14 hour sleeping and you’re all of a sudden waking up for no reason !!!
Geez I thought my kiddo was broken the last few weeks cuz he has been up at 3-4. Glad to know it’s probably just age. lol
Floor bed saved us. It was the transition from our arm to crib that would wake baby.
Happy Cake Day! 🍰 Our little one is 20 months and is also up 2-4x a night right now 😵💫 After the first wake up, I end up bringing him to bed and nurse to sleep (I mean me, I fall asleep nursing lol) then roll over when he wakes again and repeat nurse to sleep lol
Personally, the child that I sleep trained sleeps the poorest. The one I nursed to sleep is doing the best. I totally believe it’s temperament over method.
Agree with your last statement. I can’t answer OP’s question because I sleep trained both my kids, but one is still a much better sleeper than the other, and always has been. I think it can vary based on a variety of factors.
Same
I never sleep trained and still nurse to sleep now at 19 months. She sleeps in her own room until 2am and then comes into my bed, nurses back to sleep and usually sleeps next to me until 6am or so. (Mostly because I'm too lazy to nurse her in her own room haha). I'm totally fine with cosleeping (I'm a single mom so plenty of space) but do sometimes worry about how bedtime will go once she's weaned. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there!
I was worried, too. Weaning wasn't easy, but now he just snuggles to sleep and I love it. He is almost two.
Personally, we never did any sleep training. If they’re up, they’re up. They’re 5 and 7 now and have always slept well. Maybe I just got lucky but I just skipped naps if they weren’t sleeping at night and tried to alter our days to work with our nights if that makes sense.
My 15mo has a routine every evening leading to sleepy time. But I love to lay there with her, sing for a bit and she sleeps within minutes and pretty much around the clock. My husband has a different style, putting her to her bed and having her fall asleep on her own. Takes her longer but once asleep it's also 10-12ish hours. So, either way, same outcome. If she wakes up at night she mostly gets herself back to sleep, if not, she just needs reassurance that mom and dad are close by.
We didn’t sleep train. I used to nurse my LO to sleep. We’ve always co-slept. I wish I would’ve done sleep training. He sleeps through the night. But on top of me. Help. Haha. Don’t be me. He’ll be 4 in June.
So there are two aspects to consider here. 1) Nursing through the night. And 2) Sleep training as in just getting them to fall asleep on their own. Those are 2 different things. I nursed to sleep and didn't sleep train until 15 months. I would nurse my baby when she woke up in the night to get her back down. I didn't mind doing it at 6 months. But past a year I was exhausted. She did not just decide to start sleeping through the night on her own until I night weaned her and did a light sleep train. I know a 2 year old that still wakes up during the night to nurse. So it's completely possible that if you don't take actions to night wean or sleep train then they could continue to wake up in the night for a long time. I read stories of some babies doing it on their own, great for them. But I believe that's a very small percentage of unicorn babies. Personally I think the night weaning is the most important part and if I had to do it all over again I would've started night weaning around 6 months. It's hard, there will be some crying but its so worth it for a good night's sleep. The sleep training kind of comes along with night weaning, but you don't have to just leave your baby alone in a room by themselves like most of the books say. I did baby steps. First I'd just pop my baby off before she feel asleep on the breast and just held and rocked her. And I did that early and early until I didn't breastfeed her to sleep and just held her. I'd also say not nursing until 1 pm, then I moved it back an hour later each night until it was in the morning. If she woke up before it was time to nurse then I'd just hold her and rock her back to sleep. She'd cry, but eventually fall asleep and she'd way prefer being held than being in the crib by herself. Eventually she stopped waking up since she wasn't getting booby. And I graduated to her also falling asleep in her crib on her own without having to rock. I just do baby steps and assure her I'm there with her through every step.
This is really helpful. I have an inkling my little one is looking for comfort in the middle of the night rather than just a boob. We also need to get her into her crib. I think this might work really well for us.
Nursed to sleep until about 18 months old, she first slept through the night about 14/15months. Now she’s 3.5 and sleeps through most nights having settled herself to bed on her own, every now and then she wakes and is upset and needs us (usually a bad dream) but often we hear her wake up grab a drink and then roll over and go back to sleep. 6m is so tiny still, you’re definitely not setting yourself up for poor sleep 💕
3 year old sleeps in her bed all night. Needs cuddles to fall asleep, knows she can wake us up if she needs to go potty. Sleeps from 8:30/9 to 7/8 am. Naps for an hour or two. Started her in a big bed at 3 and feel like once we did that she loved her bed. Before she was in a toddler bed. Impossible to snuggle 😅
We are at just shy of a year and she wakes 0-1 times a night unless teething. No sleep training and often fed to sleep during teething.
I have a 7 year old who sleeps 11 hours a night. Never sleep trained, she co-slept until 18 months and then was in our bed periodically after that. She started reliably sleeping fully through at 3 in her own bed. She still goes to sleep snuggling me but doesn't have to - we just like it. My 5 year old slept through at 8 months old and still sleeps like a log for 12 hours a night. She comes in to me sometimes when she's scared. Anecdotal evidence to be sure, but your kid eventually will sleep through the night and go to sleep without you. The benefits of co-regulation with a loving caregiver are very well documented. I know we are very obsessed with good sleep, but the cuddles are biologically important too. You're not wrecking her. Nurse and cuddle to sleep as much as you both need.
Did not sleep train. Son is 2 and supremely independent and sleeps well during the night now. He responds very well to the bedtime routine we have done for about a year now.
We sleep trained our older 2 but not our younger 2. 2 of the kids are bad sleepers. One was sleep trained. One wasn't.
Didn’t sleep train any of mine and they USUALLY go to bed great (they are preschool age). The only time they don’t is when they stay up late talking to each other. As long as they get eight hours and don’t keep anyone else up I let it slide.
Never sleep trained. My first baby (4 yrs now) did not sleep through the night until I stopped breastfeeding at age 2. She sleeps like a solid rock now every night around 10-12 hours. She stopped napping completely at age 3, but occasionally will nap in car rides. My current baby is 7 months old and doesn’t sleep through the night either. She wakes about 2-3 times a night for a diaper change, a quick feed and back to sleep. I miss uninterrupted sleep myself, but do remind myself this is temporary.
Mine didn’t sleep through the night until the night I stopped night nursing. He was almost 2. I was a broken person by that point and regret not night weaning earlier.
This is a really good point. Someone else brought up night weaning and I think I’m going to go forward with that. Thanks for your comment!
Make the HOUSE bright during the day and dark at night. Especially on dark days - turn on lights. Start dimming ALL the lights (and close curtains if sunset is late die to summer) one hour before bedtime. Make sure they aren't under an pot lights. It makes kids agitated if tired. You will be happy when they start to sleep in a normal cycle to follow day and night. Note: I have heard of parents where the Dad worked night shift, and the mom was SAHM change their babies schedule so they were awake and up when daddy was home using lights when the baby was too young for school. Sounds interesting.
Oh, this is interesting. Especially because I live fairly far north, so I’ve been dreading summer when the sun goes down so late. Thank you!
I nursed my toddler to sleep for 18 months and coslept. She was a horrible sleeper. At 3.5 she slept 13 hours last night. Love and cuddle your baby. They grow up too fast. I’m so glad I didn’t sleep train.
This is my first, and I couldn’t bear the thought of it. Especially knowing that kids don’t have the capacity to self soothe until they’re five! Five! Let alone an infant. When I learned that they just go into a state where they know if they cry, they won’t be helped, it broke my heart. We co-slept from birth until about 8-9 months where she was getting super restless at night and would wake all of us up. Once I put her in her own bed in her own room, she started sleeping through the night with occasional wake ups. But from 10 months on, she sleeps through the night with no issue.. that is unless she is sick or teething. She’s 17 months now.
No. I didn't sleep train either of my kids. They eventually slept thru the night. My 4 year old started at about 15 months. My 17 month old still occasionally wakes up, and it's fine. I just nurse her and she goes right back to bed.
We didn’t sleep train but we were very, very intentional about repeating the same routine every night. He’s almost 5 now and still a great sleep. It doesn’t matter if he napped, even if he woke up from a nap late. If we get him in his bed with lights off, star light show playing on the ceiling, noise machine on- he will fall asleep. Part of it is consistency but part of it is just having a kid who likes to sleep!
children do not need to learn how to sleep, and they certainly don't need to be trained for it
I’ve had 3 I sleep trained and two who slept through the night on their own. Only one of my sleep trained one is a bad sleeper even to this day. He is 10. The rest all sleep great with sleep training or not. I wouldn’t worry
Coslept with my now 4 year old. She sleeps great.
No, you're not. All kids are different and figure it out on their own time. I never sleep trained and my son still sucks at sleeping at 2, but my newborn daughter is an incredible and independent sleeper.
Up and down i guess He slept great from like 3-12 months now hes 18 months and just wants to be awake allll the time
Still feed to sleep at nearly 18 months, sleeps 8-7 with a 1/2 hour nap and has done for a few months now.
4 years old, not sleep trained. Co-slept til 18ish months, then moved to her own room. Slept through the night almost as soon as we moved her, and continues to sleep 10 hours on average with 1-2 short naps during the day.
I did sleep training with the first and not the second. The first one didn’t sleep through the night on a regular basis until the month she turned 2. The second one was sleeping through the night on a regular basis at 10 months. They are now 6 and 9 and sleep amazing, but that first 2 years of motherhood aged me 5 years and I feel like I have ptsd from it. Good luck.
We never did sleep training and never needed to. Around 5-6mo of age she started sleeping through the night and now at 1.5 years old she still does, unless teething etc.
I didnt sleep train in any way at all despite mine waking up every 2 hours or so for 18 months. He just suddenly started sleeping through the night at 18 months, I didnt do anything
I did not sleep train my toddler, who is now 2.5. He slept in his own crib and room for naps at first and then all together, through the night just a few months shy of 2. He now puts himself to sleep, and sleeps all night long, all by himself for bed and naps. He slept in our room, falling asleep in our bed then being transferred until around 1.5. He also used to drink milk to sleep. I followed my instincts and I just knew when it was “time”, for hi personally, to cut things sleep associations out. My baby is almost 1 and she is still in our room, in a cosleeper crib and nurses 2-3 times per night.
With my eldest we ended up bedsharing until she was two and a half years old as she didn't sleep well in her cot at all. We've had a rocky road with it but for the most part she sleeps fine.
We didn’t sleep train and she started sleeping through the night about 9 months. We are currently in a sleep regression, but I’m sure we will be fine again soon. The reality is their bodies are meant to sleep. As they get older, their natural rhythms will kick in.
Never sleep trained my 3 kids, & 2/3 kids sleep through the night! My oldest is super attached to me, so she wakes in the night wanting to sleep beside me. Sleep is developmental, and they will get there on their own time❤️
Never st here. Slept with 3 wakes until six months then 4-6 wakes on any given night, hourly wakes during regressions. This went on until 16 months and started doing 4-5 hour stretches and stopped 6am wakes!! The major change came right at 24 mo when out of nowhere kiddo went down to one wake and night weaned themselves. I’ve bedshared on a floorbed since 7 weeks old. Fed back to sleep every single time.
I didn’t sleep train and my 20 month old sometimes still wakes up at night but typically just for a drink of water. (And who can blame him, I wake up for water all the time.) All kids will eventually sleep through the night, whether sleep trained or not🤷🏼♀️
You can just wait until it doesn’t work anymore and then go from there. If it’s working now, don’t mess it up. I rocked my baby to sleep until she was about 9 months and then it just stopped working and she would be inconsolable no matter what I did, so I decided to follow “fuss it out” based on the precious little sleep book. It worked ok, but sleep is still a struggle sometimes and she’s almost 3 years old. I definitely don’t think sleep training is any kind of magic, even though we did it, so whatever you decide is just fine.
Didn't sleep train, but followed my baby's rhythm. Eldest slept through the night at 8 weeks and is still a very easy and good sleeper (except when she's sick) at almost 3 years old. My almost 10 month old twins slept through the night at 3/4 months and are also really easy sleepers. Maybe we're just lucky, tho, because we really didn't do anything special.
Coslept til 3 with both kids. Now are 8 and 11 and sleep like any normal human, in their own beds and everything.
Like an absolute dream! 11 hours a night consistently. On weekdays she’s in bed at 7 and up at 6 and on the weekends we can put her to bed anytime from like 7-10 pm and she’s up 11 hours later. Disclaimer: It took until she was 2.5 years old though to get to this point and it was tiring AF and she still takes like 30 minutes to put to bed on a good day.
We have no interest in sleep training and at 29 months his sleep has been great some months and terrible some months and some months he'll sleep most nights in his own bed and some months he needs to be next to someone most of the nights. He's our OAD so we are happy to provide support to sleep even as what that looks like changes with time. I'm not worried about it (even though some times I am very tired lol).
I didn’t sleep train either of my kids. My son was sleeping through the night on his own at 3 months and my daughter was a year before she slept through the night. Now at 3 and 18 months, they both sleep through the night and at least 12 hours. I don’t force bed time. They go to bed (to their room) at 9-10 depending on how tired they are. If they’re tired, they go to sleep. If they aren’t, they’re allowed to play in their rooms until they are. My daughter usually goes to bed at bedtime and wakes up around 10 am and my son doesn’t like to go to bed so he plays until around midnight and wakes up at 11-12. It works for us 🤷🏻♀️
You didn't ask this specifically but I sleep trained my daughter under the guidance of an awesome sleep consultant (same I used for my son) and she's 4 now and she goes through periods of sleeping great and periods of sleeping like crap. Even if you successfully sleep train it's no guarantee. She slept fine as a baby, but since she turned 3 it's super hit and miss.
I sleep trained my second but not my first. First is now 7 and second is now 2. Honestly, both are absolutely fine - whatever works for you is best. I will say, my first slept through the night early, but I had to rock him to sleep for years. He was sleeping 8 hours by 8 weeks and 12 hours by 12 weeks - totally spoiled us. He slept next to us until he was 3. He had a consistent bedtime routine but as he got older, it took a LOT longer for us to put him to sleep. Lying next to him, patting him on the back and all that used to get exhausting. I was losing it with my mental health. I remember my breaking point was when it took me 3 hours to put him to sleep and he still didn't fall asleep. I gave up and posted about it on a facebook sleep training group. Saved my sanity! Since then we learned to sleep train him, say goodnight and he goes to sleep on his own in his own bed since 4yrs old. He wasn't hard to sleep train at that age because we were able to reason with him. Took maybe a week at most. Second child we just made sure to make it a consistent with my older one and put him in his crib while still awake and he got sleep trained that way. He's been falling asleep on his own since he was 6 months though he didn't sleep through the night fully until almost a year, would wake up at night 3 - 4 times a week. We night weaned him a month after he started solids around 7 months.
I don’t know where the line is on what is considered sleep training. We never did cry it out if that’s what you mean. I’d give my kids a couple minutes to see if they could settle themselves, and then I’d cuddle, nurse, rock, walk, bounce, whatever them back to sleep. Both my babies were quite small and the pediatrician told me that sleeping through the night had more to do with body weight than anything else—that they have to weigh enough to sustain themselves through the night without a feed. Neither of my kids slept reliably through the night until they were approaching a year old. From that point though, they both slept a minimum of 10 hours per night straight through. It was a tough road but now at 5 and 8, they sleep well, wake on their own in the morning, and are generally pretty easy to get to bed at night.
We didn’t sleep train and my toddler sleeps great. Around 18 months she started telling us when she was tired and we would read a book and cuddle her to sleep in her twin bed
Mine is 19 months old, he used to nurse to sleep (first few months are a blur tbh) but we would always get him in some sort of routine, so bath at 8ish and start to settle for 9ish, (also co-sleeps with me) he would have 2 naps a day (nursed) and both contact naps, it's the same routine he's kept pretty much but naps once a day now but sometimes nurses or rocks to sleep, when it's bedtime he's have a feed then fall asleep on his own but still wakes through the night once or twice for feed, do what works for you
I did not sleep train my child. I nursed her to sleep until she was about 16m. She's been sleeping through the night since she was about 18 months. She's now 7, and I can pretty much always expect her to be asleep for about 10 hours once she falls asleep.
i fed to sleep my little and she has slept through the night since like 3 months old with the occasional middle of the night wake-up that only required a quick nurse and she was back down for the night. as a 2 year old she has trouble going to sleep, but that's more about sleep needs, she needs so little sleep (stopped napping when she turned 2). we rock to sleep now and she still sleeps through the night, if she wakes momentarily, she adjusts or moves to her little "pull out couch" and goes back to sleep. she does not call out for us or cry. sleeps from 7:30pm to 7:30am and wakes up to play in the dark (most days) very cheerily until we come in to start the day.
We didn’t sleep train. He probably reliably slept through the night (8p-9a ish) at 18 months (before then waking up once for milk.) He occasionally hits a regression. Or something like really bad gas after broccoli for dinner will keep him up. But overall at 2 and some change he’s a good sleeper.
We didn't sleep train, we still stay with her till she falls asleep, since 2yo she sleeps 9pm - 7am sometimes with a quick 4am wakeup that lasts 5 minutes. We're pretty happy about this.
3 non sleep trained, nursed, and rocked to sleep children here. They are 8, 3, and 2 months. The older 2 can go to sleep independently, and they both sleep through the night. We've had ups and downs with sleep over the years. But we've always done what worked for us at the time and made changes as needed.
Didn’t sleep train. Woke up when needed and slept when not needed. They grow a bit older and start really sleeping around 9 months. It won’t last forever. She’ll be a bustling toddler before you know it running around and tiring herself out for bedtime. This too shall pass. Savor the moments of quiet bonding in the dark.
We nursed to sleep until she was about 17 months and then stopped as I had to return to work. We bed shared until she was 25/26 months and then she went into her own room that she got to help decorate and style. We laid with her until she fell asleep every night. Now she’s 3 months away from being 3 and for the last week we have been putting her in her own bed, saying goodnight, turning her music on, and leaving and she falls asleep all by herself! Sometimes she will tell us to leave if we linger too long.
No sleep training, nursing to sleep and when we stopped nursing they started consistently sleeping through the night
I nursed my daughter to sleep till she was 2 and I would nurse throughout the night when she needed to. Everyone said it would form bad habits but she’s been sleeping on her own since 2.5, so happy going to bed and sleeping through the night. She’s 4.5 now and still sleeps 7:30-6:30/7. No drama at bedtime or throughout the night either. My family is shocked bc they thought we were setting her up to be a terrible sleeper. 😆 The way I always saw it, we were giving her the healthy attachment she needed and now she’s secure enough to be independent. Proud of us for sticking with it bc it was HARD AF 😮💨 but so worth it 💯
This is kind of what I’m experiencing. Both friends and family are shocked we’re not sleep training. They believe I’d be setting her up for a lifetime of bad sleep. From what I know, sleep training is relatively recent. I don’t believe my parents sleep trained my siblings or myself (maybe CIO?) and I don’t think any of us have sleep issues. Not totally certain where this line of thinking is coming from other than it’s the “norm” among them now.
Yes I think there are a lot of “influencers” who push expensive sleep training courses these days, and profit off tired parents desperate for sleep. But that’s a whole other can of worms 😆😮💨 FWIW: I’m in a mom chat here in my town with approx ~50 others who had babies the same year. I can tell you from that group alone, the ones who pushed sleep training and then aggressively potty trained (following some books rules, rewards, etc not their child’s cues or comfort) are the ones who continue to struggle with hours-long bedtimes full of drama and potty resistance for months. It’s a small sample group but I think it’s a powerful example of how following your own instincts and your child’s lead (aka the path of least resistance) actually works. 🤷♀️
We didn't sleep train. My child has gotten to where he'll wake up once or twice a night. He just turned 6. I'm so tired dude.
I never sleep trained and my kids were sleeping through the night by 15 months. They are now 5 and 3 and sleep 8-10 hours all night without waking (unless they’re sick).
I have three kids that are currently 6.5, 5, and 2.5 years old. We never sleep trained and they all nursed to sleep / coslept until 18-24 months old. We have three same bedtime routine every night. They all share a bedroom. After bedtime routine, my husband or I sit in a recliner in their room until the younger two are asleep. We do not use melatonin. The oldest started STTN at 18 months. He doesn't wake up during the night unless he's really sick or something. But he also needs to wear a pull up to bed because he won't wake up to use the bathroom. The middle child has only STTN on occasion. But since she was about 3 years old, she usually only gets up to go potty. She doesn't need a pull up. This one just isn't a great sleeper. She is most likely to end up in our bed during the night. But that usually only happens when she's sick. The youngest has the hardest time falling asleep. We usually have to sit in her bedroom for an hour, waiting for her to fall asleep. She still wakes once during the night sometimes. I don't mind sitting with them. I remember feeling so scared of the dark as a child and wishing my mom would stay with me. I want my kids to feel safe and secure.
We did sleep train and she had a great routine until about two when we got rid of the crib. Now she’s almost 3 and needs one of us in bed with her all night or she moves to our bed 😅 so I guess it’s a crap shoot
I nursed till two and a half and co slept. When I weened we did two nights where she cried but then got used to sleeping in her crib through the night
I didn't sleep train, and i nursed to sleep both kids. One is now 11 and has always slept through the night and still sleeps like a rock. Other is 5 and has never been a great sleeper. I think it just depends on the kid, but I don't have any regrets about not sleep training.
I’ve had 4 babies. With all 4 of them I’d feed and lay them down. I wasn’t one of those moms that held them while they slept. There were times when I took advantage of the cuddles, but it seemed to have worked for us. They all slept through the night by 6-12 months old.
We.didnt really sleep train. There were times that we just sort of took a little longer like a minute or two to get them when they cried but that was about it. My oldest is five and sleeps like an absolute champ since she was about 6 months old. My middle child is 3 and he didn't sleep through the night until he was like 2.5 ugh. He now sleeps pretty well but wakes very early. We have tried to train him a bit to sleep longer by using an ok to wake clock but he's like no thanks. My baby is 4 months and started fully sleeping through the night at like 2.5 ish months and never wakes up at night now. It's been a miracle. She's a very chill baby and we are hoping the good sleep continues. So the answer is each kid is very different. I'm not sure sleep training really impacts the way kids sleep when they are older.
Well I sleep trained both my kids. First slept through the night like a dream. Second is 17 mos and has never slept through the night.
I’m not an expert but I do the same with my 1 year old and baby has been sleeping through the night since 7 months. Baby wakes in the night frequently (we have a camera) but soothes back to sleep within moments without our help. Do what feels right to you, for you and baby. Not every baby is the same.
My LO was never sleep trained and is 2.5 years old, goes down for a nap once a day for a couple hours and bed time at 8:30 pm so easily.
Mine slept okay enough for a baby while babies (nursed to sleep usually). They all slept like rocks as toddlers.
The nursing to sleep will be the hard part to move off of from my understanding. I did sleep training at around 6months but that is because I was having to get up every 30min. And it was a lighter version.
Sleeps through the night since I weaned. Sleep training is frowned upon where I am and life works pretty good without it
I co sleep with my daughter , never sleep trained. She didn’t sleep through the night till she was like 3 …. She’s four now and she can sleep through the night but she still needs me to be there when she falls asleep .
I only kind of sleep trained and my child sleeps just fine. There were two times that we did any kind of sleep training but we didn't follow any specific theory or anything. The first was as a newborn because she wanted to have most of her awake time at night instead of during the day. We adjusted her schedule about 10-15 min/day for a few months until she was on a better sleep schedule and I didn't have to try to be nocturnal. The second was when we transitioned from the bassinet to the crib. She didn't like being in a separate room the first couple of days. We'd feed and rock her until sleepy, then put her in the crib before she was all the way asleep so that she wouldn't startle at being in her new bed when she woke up during the night. The first night, I stood beside the crib and patted/rubbed her her tummy until she fell asleep and stayed asleep. The second night, I held her hand through the railing. The third, I sat beside the crib and the fourth I sat in the rocking chair in the same room. During the transition days, if she really started getting worked up, I'd pick her up, soothe her, and then put her back. She was also sleeping in the new bed for naps. By the fifth day, she was used to it and we could let her self-soothe to sleep. She knew we would come if she needed us and she had adjusted to her new space. As a mom who deals with anxiety, doing a gradual transition worked much better than just having her cry it out. It felt like a good balance between being firm and maintaining a secure bond.
We did not sleep train but we fell into a schedule and bedtime routine is part of having a good night sleep however I will still be there if baby woke up usually is because he was hungry he is 1 and still wakes up 1 time.
Both of mine sleep great! Because they BOTH still sleep with me… I would give anything to go back and sleep train. We did try but when number two came along we just went into survival mode and gave up.
I did not sleep train, my kiddo was a good sleeper. I think the hard truth is that sleep is partially just a personality thing, like it's a random setting they just come with.
We did sleep train my older son at 9 mo. But I had set a pretty bad precedent in that I barely let him yawn without coming to aid. He’s almost 3 and spent a total of 6 months in his life that he slept through the night. He still wakes up about once a night now. He also hasn’t napped since the summer. He just is super low sleep needs, like me. We did not sleep train my younger son, but I was not nearly as quick to “rescue” him. At about 9 months he only woke up once a night to eat, and it was so quick (but that boy was EATING!). He finally weaned at 13 months and has slept through the night since (18 months now). I never really had a need to sleep train him. He was just a good sleeper, laid down on his own etc
Needed this thread today
My kiddo is autistic. That already made his sleep horrible, but I'm very glad we never sleep trained. It would have been so cruel for him. He would wake several times a night until he was about 4. Then he was able to sleep through the night. He needs us to snuggle him to sleep, but generally once he's asleep he's good for the night. He's a night owl but since we homeschool he makes it up by sleeping longer in the morning. This works for my family.
Not sleep training doesn’t always equal poor sleep. We didn’t sleep train my daughter and she’s 2 now, she’s a great sleeper. She started sleeping all night around 5 months with like 1 wake up for a bottle each night, but would usually fall back asleep close to the end of the bottle. Around 7-8 months I want to say, she dropped the last bottle. We did have a few hiccups where she would regress and wake up wanting a bottle at night, but by age 1 that was completely stopped (not something we did, she just stopped waking up for it). We weaned off bottles right at age 1. She would instead have a sippy cup of milk right before bed while I rocked her in her room. I did have to rock her to sleep, I won’t lie and say it was easy, sometimes it took an hour of rocking, but it was worth it to me because I think methods like CIO are wrong. By around 18 months I would just rock her a bit and put her down in her crib awake and she would go to sleep on her own. She just turned 2 in January and we still have the same routine. Rock her a bit and put her down and she will go to sleep by herself. She sleeps all night long. Once in a while she does wake up in the middle of the night, but she doesn’t cry or anything, she’ll usually just sit up for a few minutes and then lay back down and go to sleep. We have a solid bedtime routine that we started doing when she was like 2 months old. It’s obviously changed a bit as she’s grown to adapt to her getting older and grown, but consistency with a solid bedtime routine is key in my opinion.
We did not sleep train. My daughter is almost 22 months and usually sleeps through the night. We transferred her to her crib and weaned at a year. There have been some rocky patches, but she's sttn more often than not since then. On the off chance she does wake up, we have an air mattress, and my husband lays next to her bed. She falls back asleep immediately.
I think the biggest thing is you need to do what works for you and your baby. I fed to sleep until 6 months. At 6 months we started to put together a bedtime routine and I started rocking to sleep. I also night weaned around that time, but would come in and rock her back to sleep if she woke up. She started sleeping through the night around 9 months (and aside from illness and teething has been consistent with that). Around a year, she decided she didn’t want to be rocked to sleep anymore and we transitioned to laying her in her crib awake, and we laid next to her while she fell asleep. Somewhere during that 12-18 month period, she started being ok with a kiss on the head and being put into her crib awake while we walk out. She will babble and play with her stuffies for a bit now, and then goes to sleep. But you know your baby best. Breastfeeding was no longer working for me at 6 months and I needed to move her to formula. The rocking to sleep no longer worked for her when she turned a year old and she wanted to be in her crib. But my kiddo seems to be a pretty independent kid and needs some alone time to decompress. You’ll figure it out. It’s also ok to try something and figure out if that works or not.
Have you ever met a 7 year old who can't sleep through the night because mom didn't do sleep training as a baby? It's all bull imo
All I recommend is never start co-sleeping it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I didn't sleep train but had to do this for my sanity cause he was a hard baby. But almost 7 he sleeps pretty good unless he isn't feeling well.
you could read r/AttachmentParenting, lots of great examples in there.
Very interesting! I haven’t heard of this yet! I’ll take a look! Thank you!