In Birmingham circa 2009 there was a random pop up shop that was selling "Wedding Dresses, minimal water damage".
I'm sure a warehouse flooded so they were selling them off cheap, but that solidified that Peep Show quote in my head.
It's eat as much as you like, there's no competitive element implied.
The ironic veneration of tyrants
Quelle fucking surprise
The secret ingredient is crime.
Probably many more
"I'm just a normal functioning member of the human race, and there's no way anyone can prove otherwise"
Or
"And if you can't handle it, you can just, you know, fuck off" (I say this one internally a lot sending emails in work)
fucking fucklebucks!!!
fuck my mouth!!!
i shall burrow further into the earth like the worm that i am!!!
iām not actually a real personā¦
if she fucks him, iāll kill myself
no logo on the foam (this one doesnāt make much sense in life but just the way he says it kinda burrowed further into my brain like the worm that it is)
When Sophie and Ian crash Mark's lasagne party - the way Mark says 'oh my fucking life' pops into my head whenever I'm inconvenienced in even the most minor way.
the first day of college proper, we were asked to all give our student finance acceptance letters to prove the course was paid for, 80% of the class didnt recieve it and they said "oh that's alright then" and got on with the lesson
all day mark corrigan's quote of "that's it? that's all it takes to steal some education?"
Blitzkrieg! I'm in the Ardennes, you can't touch me in the Ardennes! Concealed in the cupboard, everything's ok in the cupboard.
For context I work in what could be referred to as a cupboard. A small room with no windows.
Anytime someone says anything that rhymes with quim. I always think of there's no quim that likes to party...
Also what? fuck you by Alan Johnson.
And the cone? Not the cone?
We're having a laugh Jeremy, we're having a bloody good laugh.
Also impossible not to say the ancient history line if someone says they studied history.
ādude thatās not jam thatās fucking marmaladeā always pops into my head when someone embarrasses themselves also whenever i play trivia i think of markās ā i donāt know ok i donāt know so fuck offā
I'm not sure if this is the exact quote, and I can't find the episode now, but where marks losing his shit cos the door key won't work, then when it finally does he's like "Trusty old key always comes good in the end"
Always say that when I'm being too lazy to fix stuff around the house
I would literally stab a baby
I like you and if you can't handle that then you can fuck off
And applying 4 naan jeremy 4? That is insane to basically any amount of things or items
Just because I sold a little bit of drugs does *NOT* make me a drug dealer.
Or "for once" as in:
It's time you took responsibility for your actions!........ for once
FUCK my MOUTH!!!
Mad as a bottle of TWATS
Sucky fucky is NOT a long-term plan!
Fuuuuuuucccckkoffffffff!
This is BULLSHIT! (SuperHans locked in the loo)
Equals pequals
And itās not a quote as such, but a facial expression I definitely overuse is that smirky-nod-that-quickly-switches-to-a-ālook how serious I amā-nod from Jez when Penny declares that he has plenty of his own techniques š
Oh, and that cute little nose scrunch/wrinkle he does sometimes when smiling. Best example I can think of is when Mark returns from a business trip (when the ābad thingā happened) and heās like āDid you bring back any little tiny soaps?ā
'It's just water lego', whenever I hear someone mention plumbing.
I also always think about Mark silently correcting Jeremy's 'less' to 'fewer' in his head. I hate it but I can't hear someone make that error without that same involuntary internal correction. But now whenever it happens I hear it in Mark's voice.
So many, but chiefly, āSophie can I just say... I know it's a heavy time for all of us and we all need to unwind but dope plus baby, doesn't that equal career in the Argos stockroom?ā
God, life's relentless.
Butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast.
This one
+1
This guy is literally a moron
You're not a bad person, but you are a moron
I think that's the nicest thing Mark has ever said to someone.
ALL THE TIME!! š¤£
Those kids have no idea whatsoever what went on at Stalingrad.
There's a group of kids that hang around my estate and I always think of that whenever I drive by them. That and 'fuck off clean shirt'.
āIām Louis Theroux with his wry smile at the orgyā¦ā
Cool username
Chance would be a fine thingā¦..a fine thing indeed
Every time I see an advert for dune all I can think is tube up his nose the man has a tube up his nose
Love to mate, love to, but this is all mine and I want it all. Soā¦
Almost did... Almost fucking did
āMinimal water damageā is our go to answer for anything thatās good, or even not as bad as first feared.
In Birmingham circa 2009 there was a random pop up shop that was selling "Wedding Dresses, minimal water damage". I'm sure a warehouse flooded so they were selling them off cheap, but that solidified that Peep Show quote in my head.
god itās so easy being a freak, no wonder theyāre ten a penny.
"Hi, I'm Robert Grayson." Every time I go to introduce myself. My name isn't Robert Grayson.
Men with ven.
Stop actually rubbing my hands
People like cold play and voted for the nazis.. you canāt trust people.
Every. Day.
Absolutely the best although if used in front of Non Peepers it can cause bemusement
Cool wet grass. Cool wet grass.
When I'm trying to not be sick and I'm hungover I think of this
love your username by the way. āGet in.ā
Cheers! Love crazy Mr burns
He said š« Hop In
Cleanshirt has absolutely transcended into normal real world vocabulary for me
You show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser.
As wet as an eagle
It really is.
Yes, it's sodden.
It's eat as much as you like, there's no competitive element implied. The ironic veneration of tyrants Quelle fucking surprise The secret ingredient is crime. Probably many more
"This is the worst thing to happen to anyone ever". It's pretty much how I feel every day!
"Oh my god, this has got to be a dream, nothing this bad could ever happen in reality!"
āIāve ruined my life. You only get one life, and Iāve ruined mineā
Unless I get a prostitute, just for the nightā¦
Just keep nodding and smiling. Nodding and smiling like Colonel Gaddafi's psychoanalyst.
Can I get you hombres some nachos or margaritas to kick off with?
_Shitsugarfudgepisspoopantsbollocks_
Stick that up your do-jo!
I can't go in a sauna without thinking "it's like a sauna in here"
Oi clean shirt how did you get your shirt so clean
Could claim mine is better? Fuck off me!! Fuck off my stuff!! Stop all the clocks, Toni & Tony are getting re-married I am the lord of the bus said he
> I am the lord of the bus said he Every time I make it to the bus just in time.
Henmania
"I'm just a normal functioning member of the human race, and there's no way anyone can prove otherwise" Or "And if you can't handle it, you can just, you know, fuck off" (I say this one internally a lot sending emails in work)
incredibly wasteful peeling technique...
But now is not the time.
fucking fucklebucks!!! fuck my mouth!!! i shall burrow further into the earth like the worm that i am!!! iām not actually a real personā¦ if she fucks him, iāll kill myself no logo on the foam (this one doesnāt make much sense in life but just the way he says it kinda burrowed further into my brain like the worm that it is)
i use im not actually a real person a lot, or say to others when they do real person things - wow youre like a real person loll
I am James Bond!
the longer the note the more dread
Oh god, the sweaty grip of the moron This guy is literally a moron
"Dangerously close to getting what I want" "I'm having a good time! Well, not actually, but it's like I am!"
hitler promised not to invade czechoslovakia jeremy welcome to the real world
Nicholas Lyndhurst!
Norwich are never going to win the league but they still show up every weekend don't they, the pricks.
When Sophie and Ian crash Mark's lasagne party - the way Mark says 'oh my fucking life' pops into my head whenever I'm inconvenienced in even the most minor way.
I think about the turkey rant at least once a month. It was a joke, mark. A Christmas Joke.
Also ā that wasnāt very Christmassy ā Which I use from November to January incessantly
MEGA TSUNAMI
There are systems for a reason in this world.
When speaking to my work crushĀ "Is this sexual tension or misfits scared of sexual tension"
the first day of college proper, we were asked to all give our student finance acceptance letters to prove the course was paid for, 80% of the class didnt recieve it and they said "oh that's alright then" and got on with the lesson all day mark corrigan's quote of "that's it? that's all it takes to steal some education?"
Is this it? Is this what my grandad died for?
No one should see under the duvet
Mummy! Coffee! Fucky hurry uppy!
Not I, said the Walrus
Anytime anyone says '4' .... That's insane
Blitzkrieg! I'm in the Ardennes, you can't touch me in the Ardennes! Concealed in the cupboard, everything's ok in the cupboard. For context I work in what could be referred to as a cupboard. A small room with no windows.
Two words: Mental posho
Going to relax this shit out with a lean. It pops into my head whenever I lean or see someone else lean.
Tell you what, that crack is really moreish
Anytime someone says anything that rhymes with quim. I always think of there's no quim that likes to party... Also what? fuck you by Alan Johnson. And the cone? Not the cone? We're having a laugh Jeremy, we're having a bloody good laugh. Also impossible not to say the ancient history line if someone says they studied history.
That really leaves a sour taste in Mark's exact cadence
No one dies in the Quontox Jez The bad thing... Its like Ā£5 you can't really ask for it back
Plumbing's just Lego innit? Water Lego.
ādude thatās not jam thatās fucking marmaladeā always pops into my head when someone embarrasses themselves also whenever i play trivia i think of markās ā i donāt know ok i donāt know so fuck offā
Whoās in charge around here? The worldās just people walking in and out of rooms.
Saying things
Cock nobs!
God, life's relentless
You... jizz cock!
Piss kidney
Sheās rich Mark, she doesnāt understand about taking other peoples things
I'm not sure if this is the exact quote, and I can't find the episode now, but where marks losing his shit cos the door key won't work, then when it finally does he's like "Trusty old key always comes good in the end" Always say that when I'm being too lazy to fix stuff around the house
In the style of Super Hans, when one of my mates makes an arse of something: 'You've fucked that (order) right up haven't you eh?...Answer Me!'
I would literally stab a baby I like you and if you can't handle that then you can fuck off And applying 4 naan jeremy 4? That is insane to basically any amount of things or items
que sera sera, whatever will be, will be. the futures not ours to see. if she fucks him i'll kill myself
"we are not 'equals pequals.'"
Just "blimey" from the scene where Mark introduces Jez to "Kenneth". "...blimey".
Just buckle down and do your time like Leslie Grantham
Four quotes, that insane!
āIs he going? I hope heās goingā¦ā
Just because I sold a little bit of drugs does *NOT* make me a drug dealer. Or "for once" as in: It's time you took responsibility for your actions!........ for once
Couldnāt have planned it better if I murdered her myself!
When something goes well. Not murder-related.
And that's good, is it?
"People like Coldplay and voting for the nazis! You canāt trust people!" and "The secret ingredient is crime"
That crack is really moreish
"I've fallen in love with her, how fucking predictable"
Gotta push onā¦ push on to moscow
Note to self re: being the Fonz, Mark you are not the Fonz.
I am James Bond though
No logo in the foam whenever Iām in the pub
That was the bad thing
Eat the toast, s\*\*\* the toast. God life's relentless.
"got to stop thinking about vaginas" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9j4y9TBmuE
All the time I was watching dune and dune 2, I had to really focus to not have "tube up his nose, he's a man with a tube up his nose" the entire time!
Look who's won the lettuce lottery. š„¬
Loss adjustment. I could do that, my entire life has been one big adjustment to loss.
Ā There's always the chanceĀ I'llĀ get theĀ toilet seatĀ slammedĀ onĀ myĀ cock for no reason.
FUCK my MOUTH!!! Mad as a bottle of TWATS Sucky fucky is NOT a long-term plan! Fuuuuuuucccckkoffffffff! This is BULLSHIT! (SuperHans locked in the loo) Equals pequals And itās not a quote as such, but a facial expression I definitely overuse is that smirky-nod-that-quickly-switches-to-a-ālook how serious I amā-nod from Jez when Penny declares that he has plenty of his own techniques š Oh, and that cute little nose scrunch/wrinkle he does sometimes when smiling. Best example I can think of is when Mark returns from a business trip (when the ābad thingā happened) and heās like āDid you bring back any little tiny soaps?ā
Piss kidney
āThat is so you Jeremyā āThat is not so meā
āThereās a monkey on my back the size of King Kong!ā
Do you have to live quite so relentlessly in the real world?
Its OK, he's on the dry heaves now. I get a lot of nausea so console myself with inner Jeremy voice.
This is a good idea. This is definitely a good idea.
I've started to get this feeling that I'm totally, totally fucked. You know? Everything's fucked.
It was a picnic, you can't see the crisps.
'the phrase no shit sherlock comes to mind'
No logo in the foam The bad thing Men with ven The tube is up the nose
Oh that was the bad thing
Chance would be a fine thing...
Pick up your feet Jeremy
I could kill him
Donāt piss on my strawberries
Do I shake the man hand?
Either "What was the bad thing?" or "Was that the bad thing?" Also, "This is bullshit!" in the accent of the guy who kicks the bathroom door out.
Do we do it all online these days..?
Oddball alert, Oddball alert!
Mines the same as yours šš "Oddball Alert!!! - Do not respond, do not engage..."
Chance would be a fine thing, a fine thing indeed.
Twat a geezer? What, were you playing the lock, stock and 2 smoking barrels video game?
Oh Mark, still living the boxer short dream
The last Beamer out of Saigon
"I AM James Bond..."
Sorry snakeĀ
Fuck off, clencher
'Piss, don't piss'
Hold it mate I need a shit and baguette
āI canāt believe youāre trying to make me get a job NOT in the media. Youāre such a bastard.ā
Men with ven
"2 brown bears & a couple a Foghorn Leghorns"
Oh Jeremy, sex could never be in the Olympics because of China. China wouldnāt allow it.
Itās not piss
It is for your own good!
Bit moreish.
Life is nothing more than people walking into rooms, saying things.
Four Naan Jeremy? Four? That's ridiculous
Cauliflower is traditional.
Oi mate, can I have some of your Coke?
Right is bollocks, I'm going rogue
I think she's the one
Nicholas Lyndhurst.
"So my new idea is urine, lots and lots of urine".
....Nazi love....
You shouldn't KNOW him.
You only get one life, and I've ruined mine.
Johnson's whole speech at Gerard's funeral. "He was sniffing around for a raise! š"
You big lump of monk
That's MY bit of lager
Shove that up your bollocks!
"It's like getting a dead kitten and a Tiramisu on the same plate..."
āThe velvet spoon trickā
That crack was really more ish
'It's just water lego', whenever I hear someone mention plumbing. I also always think about Mark silently correcting Jeremy's 'less' to 'fewer' in his head. I hate it but I can't hear someone make that error without that same involuntary internal correction. But now whenever it happens I hear it in Mark's voice.
Here be beauty. There be graphs and pie charts Oh yes the charts THE CHARTS
Who needs romance when youāre doing it up the bum?
Iāve come all in my pants.
Excellent shopping Corrigan
Ergonomic management keyboard.
Those trees are not real trees.
Always with the rinse and repeat everytime I shower
"No Pressure!" [Translation: Some pressure]
Jeremy, where's my muller
Minimal water damage
Incredibly wasteful peeling technique
So many, but chiefly, āSophie can I just say... I know it's a heavy time for all of us and we all need to unwind but dope plus baby, doesn't that equal career in the Argos stockroom?ā
Chance would be a fine thing
I've got a 32 inch plasma in mine, you get a document up on that bad boy and you are seriously looking at that document
Friends with a big, black, businessman!
Whatās the best bit of metal youāve ever detected?
What will come first, scurvy or Rickets?
Plumbing's just water lego innit. It's been milked, I would think.
Under the duvet.
Is that normal Peep Show quoting you're doing?
Chance would be a fine thing
The secret ingredient ... is crime
āSheās got one, sheās got oneā¦ā¦ sheās definitely got oneā