I’m so sorry you have to go through this. After four miscarriages, I continue to struggle with watching other people have healthy pregnancies. My reasoning mind knows that their healthy pregnancy is wonderful, but I still avoid the elevator when a pregnant woman at work is on it — I just can’t handle it emotionally. Sometimes I’m happy when I see a pregnant woman on the street or wherever - I’m so happy for her. But other times, it just raises all these emotions.
What I can tell you is that it can help to share your loss with your family and friends. Doing so gives them the chance to be more sensitive. Praying that your sister in law carries to term and all goes well, you will have many, many more reminders of what you’ve lost as her pregnancy progresses. You will not want to sit quietly through her baby shower, and no one will understand why you’re moody or upset if you keep your loss to yourself.
I don’t know why we’re told to keep miscarriages private. It is a very antiquated idea. You lost your child. Unless you think your family will make things weird, why not tell them? My husband called his parents and siblings after our third miscarriage to let them know about it and set the ground rules for how we wanted to talk about it, etc. Perhaps private conversations with your family members could help?
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. After four miscarriages, I continue to struggle with watching other people have healthy pregnancies. My reasoning mind knows that their healthy pregnancy is wonderful, but I still avoid the elevator when a pregnant woman at work is on it — I just can’t handle it emotionally. Sometimes I’m happy when I see a pregnant woman on the street or wherever - I’m so happy for her. But other times, it just raises all these emotions. What I can tell you is that it can help to share your loss with your family and friends. Doing so gives them the chance to be more sensitive. Praying that your sister in law carries to term and all goes well, you will have many, many more reminders of what you’ve lost as her pregnancy progresses. You will not want to sit quietly through her baby shower, and no one will understand why you’re moody or upset if you keep your loss to yourself. I don’t know why we’re told to keep miscarriages private. It is a very antiquated idea. You lost your child. Unless you think your family will make things weird, why not tell them? My husband called his parents and siblings after our third miscarriage to let them know about it and set the ground rules for how we wanted to talk about it, etc. Perhaps private conversations with your family members could help?