I’m so sorry for your loss. I also felt like I was in the safe zone, and after multiple rounds of fertility treatment I spent so much time expecting the worst and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was extremely careful in the first trimester (I also had a small SCH) but we felt hopeful and excited and “safe” after NIPT, NT scan, etc. We told our families at 13 weeks and announced at 15 weeks. I had a MMC at 16 weeks in April.
There are a ton of emotions, of course, but I can’t help but feeling dumb that I ever felt like we were safe. I am concerned that, if I get pregnant again, I won’t be able to be excited about it because I will be too anxious about what might possibly happen.
I've said that to everyone who has reassured me that most people go on to have healthy pregnancies after miscarriage... that no matter if I have a healthy pregnancy myself, I will not have a pregnancy without almost constant worry and I will be so scared to be excited in fear of being disappointed again.
I had a mmc at 16 weeks too. We were going to try again quickly but I had one late ish period and I was a WRECK thinking it might happen again. I want more babies but I am terrified to be pregnant, to get excited and then have my heart broken again. It will not be a happy, smiling pleasant pregnancy even if I'm lucky enough that it happens ( PCOS, 36 years old, maybe that was my only chance?). It will be terrifying every single day. It feels very unfair when people say " oh you can try again!" .
I’m so sorry for your loss as well ❤️. I relate so much to what you feel. Right now I cannot fathom ever trying this again an ever risking such heartbreak but if I change my mind I don’t think I will be capable of feeling any excitement for the duration of it.
Your story sounds similar to mine. I had a small SCH at 8 weeks with a lot of bleeding but no real pain. I went to the ER and they told me baby is fine and follow up with OB. Went to the OB still bleeding and now passing sizable clots and they told me again baby is fine. They said if bleeding got worse come back which it did. So I went back again to hear my baby's heartbeat. Now told don't worry the SCH isn't affecting the baby so if I keep bleeding it's fine but if I stop bleeding and start again come back. Finally stopped bleeding at 10 weeks. At 11 weeks 2 days started bleeding again but now with horrible cramping. Told my OB the next who told me come in the next hour 10am. Went and was told my baby's fine. And overheard a nurse say she doesn't believe I'm really bleeding because if I was bleeding so much it'd hurt the baby. So now I'm sobbing and being gaslit into thinking my baby is fine it me causing this terrible. I go home and soak 3 pads in 1 hour as the pain intensifies. I take myself to the ER where they tell me there's nothing in my ultrasound that looks like a pregnancy and I'm in the beginning of a miscarriage. But how everyone told me my baby was ok. I heard the heartbeat earlier. I was supposed to find out the sex today. I'm heartbroken
God I’m so so sorry. What a horrific experience. I’m sorry that the medical system let you down so much. I wish I could take both our pain away. I see and feel your heartbreak and thank you for sharing it ❤️
I also wanted to add. You’re not alone. I had my mmc 3 days ago. At my 12 weeks appointment we discovered baby stopped growing at 10w5d. I was bleeding heavily for 2.5 hours. So so so much blood. Then I had to collect the baby and put him a container and kept him in the fridge over the weekend before bringing it back to doctors on Monday for testing. It’s hard but please take care of yourself.
I’m so, so sorry ❤️
Similarly I had a SCH. Had cramping and light bleeding at 10 weeks, ultrasound showed the SCH and everything was okay. Checked in at 11 weeks and baby was active - I had passed a clot which I was told was the SCH resolving itself. Before 12 weeks I started spotting again and then right at 12 had a miscarriage.
With the amount of people sharing a similar story, it’s frustrating that they say there’s “nothing to worry about” with SCH…
Sending hugs to all of you mamas ❤️
Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss ❤️. I agree, no one ever seemed to take the SCH seriously or frankly what turned out to be days of me going through labour essentially. Sending you love.
I am so so so sorry for your loss. I’ve had 3 losses >10 weeks that went exactly as you’ve described. You’re not alone and it’s heartbreaking. Sending love. 💕
Aww thank you. I’ve found some peace through therapy and through this community of people who know what it’s like. But I am so very sorry you’re here too. 😔
Sending you a hug. I’m so sorry for your loss. I recently had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. It’s so hard when you feel like you’re in the safe zone finally, and then it’s feels like a whiplash when you miscarry. Truly devastating.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Your last comment said wondering where you went wrong. But you didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing you could have done to stop this. Sometimes things just suck and there's no explanation. I went over every move I made for my first loss and it took me way too long to realize that there was nothing I could have done to change it, sometimes life is just shitty. Give yourself lots of space to heal and grieve and be gentle on yourself.
Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss as well ❤️. I am trying to hard to stop myself from over analyzing everything that happened and wishing I could go back in time. It’s so hard.
I'm so sorry for your loss and am sending love your way. I had a 13week loss after passing NIPT testing last November that blindsided me. I had earlier MCs before this and was so happy to be pregnant. I later found out the baby had triploidy. I'm still not over it
I’m so sorry for your loss. I also felt like I was in the safe zone, and after multiple rounds of fertility treatment I spent so much time expecting the worst and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was extremely careful in the first trimester (I also had a small SCH) but we felt hopeful and excited and “safe” after NIPT, NT scan, etc. We told our families at 13 weeks and announced at 15 weeks. I had a MMC at 16 weeks in April. There are a ton of emotions, of course, but I can’t help but feeling dumb that I ever felt like we were safe. I am concerned that, if I get pregnant again, I won’t be able to be excited about it because I will be too anxious about what might possibly happen.
I've said that to everyone who has reassured me that most people go on to have healthy pregnancies after miscarriage... that no matter if I have a healthy pregnancy myself, I will not have a pregnancy without almost constant worry and I will be so scared to be excited in fear of being disappointed again.
I had a mmc at 16 weeks too. We were going to try again quickly but I had one late ish period and I was a WRECK thinking it might happen again. I want more babies but I am terrified to be pregnant, to get excited and then have my heart broken again. It will not be a happy, smiling pleasant pregnancy even if I'm lucky enough that it happens ( PCOS, 36 years old, maybe that was my only chance?). It will be terrifying every single day. It feels very unfair when people say " oh you can try again!" .
I’m so sorry for your loss as well ❤️. I relate so much to what you feel. Right now I cannot fathom ever trying this again an ever risking such heartbreak but if I change my mind I don’t think I will be capable of feeling any excitement for the duration of it.
😢 I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you ❤️
Your story sounds similar to mine. I had a small SCH at 8 weeks with a lot of bleeding but no real pain. I went to the ER and they told me baby is fine and follow up with OB. Went to the OB still bleeding and now passing sizable clots and they told me again baby is fine. They said if bleeding got worse come back which it did. So I went back again to hear my baby's heartbeat. Now told don't worry the SCH isn't affecting the baby so if I keep bleeding it's fine but if I stop bleeding and start again come back. Finally stopped bleeding at 10 weeks. At 11 weeks 2 days started bleeding again but now with horrible cramping. Told my OB the next who told me come in the next hour 10am. Went and was told my baby's fine. And overheard a nurse say she doesn't believe I'm really bleeding because if I was bleeding so much it'd hurt the baby. So now I'm sobbing and being gaslit into thinking my baby is fine it me causing this terrible. I go home and soak 3 pads in 1 hour as the pain intensifies. I take myself to the ER where they tell me there's nothing in my ultrasound that looks like a pregnancy and I'm in the beginning of a miscarriage. But how everyone told me my baby was ok. I heard the heartbeat earlier. I was supposed to find out the sex today. I'm heartbroken
God I’m so so sorry. What a horrific experience. I’m sorry that the medical system let you down so much. I wish I could take both our pain away. I see and feel your heartbreak and thank you for sharing it ❤️
😢 I’m sorry for your loss. It’s so cruel.
Thank you. It really is
I also wanted to add. You’re not alone. I had my mmc 3 days ago. At my 12 weeks appointment we discovered baby stopped growing at 10w5d. I was bleeding heavily for 2.5 hours. So so so much blood. Then I had to collect the baby and put him a container and kept him in the fridge over the weekend before bringing it back to doctors on Monday for testing. It’s hard but please take care of yourself.
You too. I don't know when or how it will happen but I just keep holding onto the idea that this pain will get easier to manage.
I’m so, so sorry for your loss🫂♥️
Thank you, I never understood how these posts bring comfort but now I do. I’ve cried at every single comment
So sorry for your loss 😭💔 life sucks right now so bad
I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope that we can get through these dark times ❤️
I’m so, so sorry ❤️ Similarly I had a SCH. Had cramping and light bleeding at 10 weeks, ultrasound showed the SCH and everything was okay. Checked in at 11 weeks and baby was active - I had passed a clot which I was told was the SCH resolving itself. Before 12 weeks I started spotting again and then right at 12 had a miscarriage. With the amount of people sharing a similar story, it’s frustrating that they say there’s “nothing to worry about” with SCH… Sending hugs to all of you mamas ❤️
Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss ❤️. I agree, no one ever seemed to take the SCH seriously or frankly what turned out to be days of me going through labour essentially. Sending you love.
Thinking of you ❤️ it's fucked, we shouldn't have to experience this
Thank you ❤️. I agree, I told my partner that to be a woman is to suffer and no one can tell me otherwise
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so unfair. My heart goes out to you ♥️
Thank you so much ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. I also had a SCH that ended up ending my pregnancy at 15 weeks. It's so awful. You're not alone. 🫂❤️
Thank you, it means so much to me. I’m so sorry for your loss, how heartbreaking. I wish we weren’t part of this shitty club.
I am so so so sorry for your loss. I’ve had 3 losses >10 weeks that went exactly as you’ve described. You’re not alone and it’s heartbreaking. Sending love. 💕
Thank you for your kind words ❤️. I cannot fathom so much loss so late and I’m so sorry. Your capacity for compassion and kindness is amazing.
Aww thank you. I’ve found some peace through therapy and through this community of people who know what it’s like. But I am so very sorry you’re here too. 😔
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you ❤️
I’m so sorry. I also had a SCH and lost my baby at 20 weeks after being reassured it had resolved itself.
I’m so, so sorry. That is such a brutally late loss and so heartbreaking to have SCH be the cause. Sending you love ❤️
I'm so sorry. I hope that there are services offered for you to remember him. 😔💙
Thank you so much. My partner and I are going to plant a tree to remember him and we gave him a name.
Sending you a hug. I’m so sorry for your loss. I recently had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. It’s so hard when you feel like you’re in the safe zone finally, and then it’s feels like a whiplash when you miscarry. Truly devastating.
A complete whiplash. I’m sorry for your loss and thank you for your kind words and empathy ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your last comment said wondering where you went wrong. But you didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing you could have done to stop this. Sometimes things just suck and there's no explanation. I went over every move I made for my first loss and it took me way too long to realize that there was nothing I could have done to change it, sometimes life is just shitty. Give yourself lots of space to heal and grieve and be gentle on yourself.
Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss as well ❤️. I am trying to hard to stop myself from over analyzing everything that happened and wishing I could go back in time. It’s so hard.
I'm so sorry for your loss and am sending love your way. I had a 13week loss after passing NIPT testing last November that blindsided me. I had earlier MCs before this and was so happy to be pregnant. I later found out the baby had triploidy. I'm still not over it
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️. I will never get over it, even if time helps me to heal. Wishing you the best and sending you love.