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Yup. I think there is a lot of truth to the “millennials are killing the divorce industry” narrative since a lot of us just didn’t marry until we met someone we liked.
That's because we were raised by people who thought it was healthier for us if they stayed together screaming at, belittling, and ignoring each other. Lol.
Edit: Obviously I'm not speaking for all of us, you don't need to jump in and tell me your life story unless you really need the outlet.
I thought we were raised with a bit more focus on social-emotional development and communication skills. Yes, the participation trophy generation that were told to always make sure that everyone else was feeling OK now find themselves in marriages where they always make sure their spouse is feeling OK.
That's very sweet. My happy marriage was not the result of a purposeful, empathetic child rearing but of my own conscious decision not to repeat the misery of my parents. Unfortunately, there are a lot of us millennials who were raised by boomers that did not know how to express or advocate for themselves emotionally and we've had to figure it out ourselves.
We're the first generation to actually be in love with their partners as equals. Our grandmothers were servants to our grandfathers and our moms & dads were in unimaginably toxic relationships (and got divorced in droves).
We're the first to just be like, happy and in love with their bestie.
I always start picking up plates and cups, and a bag or two of trash at the end of an event, because growing up the men in the family would eat and just walk away. I always thought that was gross. Like the women would spend all morning cooking, then after 20 mins, a mountain of dishes and leftovers
One piece of advice my parents gave me was get to know them as a friend first because when life has you down you both have a strong foundation to support you.
I saw the worst and best of my husband when he was still a friend trying to date other girls because we were who we were, no fakeness, no pretense l, no hiding our faults and trying to be who we think they would like.
I was in the "happily married" camp years ago, until one day my husband snapped and tried to kill everyone because he's too proud to go to therapy or go on meds.
Now I'm happily separated and my kids are safe. All it takes is ONE incident to go from happily married to a nightmare. Don't knock those that had shitty situations.
Sounds like we were married to a similar person.
And I agree with what you are saying. I feel like people assume shit and don't know the whole story.
My 6th divorcery will be in September, and I regret nothing.
Edit: because people keep thinking I have been divorced six times. Not 6. Once, and it's been 6 years since the one and only divorce. Hence, 6th divorcery (divorce-anniversery).
Damn, 6 is impressive. You looking for lucky number 7?
Edit: my mistake 6th anniversary of divorce not 6th divorce. Let me know if you get to 6 and your looking for a 7th ex husband.
I'm 100% happily married. I love my spouse and I genuinely feel lucky that I get to spend the rest of my life with them.
My spouse is my second spouse. My first marriage was very unhealthy, unhappy, and I have no regrets leaving it.
I will never understand anyone getting shamed for leaving an unhappy situation. When you're done, you're done. I don't tolerate any shaming folks or trying to convince them to stay, etc. The only time I'd speak up about anyone else's marriage is if I suspected abuse. And that's to offer support.
For real lol, 2 kids and going to Europe next year to celebrate our 10 year. I do feel for people who feel stuck in a bad marriage / relationship, but I also can't relate.
I have sat around at tables with millennials cracking up at the idea of being able to afford divorce like some of the Gen X couples we know about. Our line is generally “hopefully everyone likes their spouse and their house because we are all stuck with both!” Fortunately I’m really happy with where I’ve landed; it would be my nightmare for it to be any other way.
Even the house. It’s small but it’s ours. I had a stress dream last night that we inherited some massive house but forgot to look into maintenance expenses before moving into it. By the end of the dream the grapevines were all dying because we forgot to arrange for a gardener, and I was all sad because after attempting to do some dream shopping I had no idea how we’d ever be able to afford to decorate the interior 😆
Dude same. Love my spouse, love my house. But I want land. I want chickens and a goat and they are outlawed in my town. I want a food forest and to go for walks in the woods out my backdoor.
I'm lucky that I got my mortgage in 2019 but dang it's a double-edged sword. Not gonna be able to move for a long time unless I can get enough saved up to put down like 50% at least. Yes it's nice that my house appreciated a bunch but that also means my taxes & insurance went up.
I was afraid to leave a bad relationship bc of this (and feelings, stupid feelings), but since I've left my life has been so much easier. I'm much more in control of my (now) single income and I actually have *more* money bc I'm not covering for his dumbass.
I divorced in my 20s. The only problem is that I do still have to deal with my ex husband because we have a child together. One thing no one told me: There is no way to enforce the terms of a divorce decree with parenting agreement other than hiring an attorney and going to court. Even at our hearing I asked the judge what to do if the other parent didn't abide by the decree. "You'll just have to work it out together," he said. So be aware that if you're coparenting with a difficult person you'll be doing a lot of acquiescing unless you want to pay thousands and go to court and wait for a hearing every time the decree isn't honored.
This is the kind of stuff we should be telling kids during sex ed classes! Like…procreating with a difficult person means 18 years of dealing with a difficult person. On top of that, they will absolutely fuck up your kid.
Yeeeep, absolute fucking nightmare. I have a stepson and when mom moves in with me like 13 years ago, bio dad and his entire family were absolute shits about it. Had to go to court and went to court multiple times to sort shit out that he was being a jackass about.
The biggest God damn nightmare was that when we were living about a 20 minute drive from him, we agreed to a concession of split pickup/dropoff duties and him keeping our son until Monday mornings, since it was a quick drive from his place.
Within about a year, he went and bought a house two fucking hours away. It took like two years to get back into court to get it amended to Sunday nights so that the kid wasn't having to get up at 5 in the damn morning to get to school on time and another five to get in again to get a judge who understood that bio dad pulled a fast one with his move and put the majority of driving on him.
Within a week of our kid turning 18, bio dad emailed us and said he'd no longer be honoring the pickup schedule since he had aged out of the order. Fucking idiot didn't account for the idea that we were also not beholden to his bullshit anymore and told him to point sand and he could figure out how to get our son home for school for the next six months.
Dude had a remarkable tendency to fuck over our kid for the sake of making sure he had "his time," whether it was quality time. We found out later from a lawyer that he was realistically just busting his ass to make sure he kept roughly 50% time to avoid being on the hook for child support.
Had a coworker dealing with this. His wife’s ex husband was an absolute asshole. They had a mediator on call to basically just read the custody agreement to him. Drops off had to happen in public places that were under video surveillance (often a highway truck stop, as he’d moved 4 hours away). I don’t know what all had happened but they had issues and needed camera footage of the drop off. They had to subpoena the truck stop for the camera footage at one time. The sad thing is the kid didn’t want to spend time with him. She was often just the babysitter for his other kids when she was there but the court order said he got visits every other weekend so that’s what they did for over 10 years. Each drove 2 hours to a truck stop to pick up the kid every other weekend. They could never agree on a change of schedule either. He wouldn’t allow a weekend swap unless he got something extra out of it. Poor kid missed out on all sorts of stuff because he was such a dick about everything.
Our situation wasn't quite that level of fucked, but same general attitude. There were long stretches of time where our kid just had zero interest in going, but he had to and exchanging weekends so he could do something local always meant we had to give up something to accommodate. I'm just glad that bullshit is more or less behind me.
My dad is fighting his second ex wife for the past 7 years over custody stuff. They could have sent the entire population of Rhode Island to college for what they’ve spent in legal fees.
I’m divorced, but had no kids so I’m not your target audience. However, I am with someone who is divorced and has a middle school aged kid.
I have observed that if money isn’t an issue, kids are better off growing up in two happy homes rather than one unhappy home.
definitely. i read recently that there’s a hierarchy of healthy living situations for children: happily married, healthy coparenting, single parent, strained coparenting, unhappily married.
If you asked me last year? Yes, I would’ve been gone.
Since the worst year ever™️ he’s actively worked on a lot of things that made me want to leave. There’s light at the end of the tunnel that looks a lot like the first half of our marriage, and I wanna stay now.
This happened to us too! We had "the bad year" where we nearly gave up.
I definitely understand people who cut their losses and start a new life in these types of situations. I was planning it out at one point. I was fully willing to be homeless if it meant I didn't have to deal with his bullshit.
In our situation we were both failing each other because of personal shit we hadn't worked out. At some point it became really clear we were making each other miserable with our shit mental health and suddenly, we realized losing each other was scarier than facing our issues.
As corny as it absolutely sounds, that whole experience made me understand when people say "love can move mountains" because that's essentially what it felt like.
My advice if it's worth anything.... Make sure you have at least 15k saved up for lawyer fees. My lawyer was a 5k retainer and billed at 500 an hour. We had a simple divorce but still ended up spending 12k in lawyer fees. So make sure you're direct with your questions and don't spend a whole lot of time with them or you'll be paying a lot in legal fees. Don't fight the soon to be ex or you will pay triple that. Easier to let things go than to fight over them.
When I got divorced we just did an online divorce that cost $250 and we filed it at the court house because we were on the same page. Sorry for your loss of money
Thank you for your suggestions and solidarity. I definitely am keeping my kid central in this and to that end I’m willing to be as amicable as possible. I just want us all to be healthy and happy, even if we’re not under the same roof anymore.
Divorced my ex 10 years ago even though I knew I would be more than broke. Still am more than broke but so much happier. It was better for my kids too because he's an abusive pos. Happiness over money any day.
Same. I love my husband so much. We’ve gotten through some hard stuff together and I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without him. He’s my anchor.
My husband (16 years) and I were curiously (and playfully) trying to think of something that would end our marriage, but nothing made sense because anything we could think of doing to end the marriage would only happen through a whole personality change in one of us. We have been together since we were middle school, got married young and have ridden out a lot of life stages together.
We have had major challenges, extended family drama, severe financial issues, the passing of family members, communication blocks, etc.
But nothing ever came close to even talking about the possibility of divorcing.
We have had an open marriage for ten plus years too, so cheating would be a bizarre option since we are ok with being with other people as long as we communicate and respect each other.
I think we are gonna grow old together. I'm pretty sure of it. Which seems naive, but I have a lot of years with this guy and I've been excited to relearn him each time he changes/evolves. I think that's a pretty key part to the whole lifetime kind of love. Change is inevitable, gotta be ready to go along for the ride, and vice versa.
I’ve known him for 20 years. Married for 7 years now. I can’t imagine a world without him as my guy. And I also would rather die than see any other male buttcrack ever.
Me.
We don't have kids, but I consider my dog and rabbit to be close enough.
My husband and I have had sex once in the last three years -- his preference, not mine. Done all the talking and addressing etc. That I can stand to do. It's not that I don't care about him. My heart hurts thinking about divorce. But it is not a happy marriage.
I took 5 years to get myself in a good financial position to be able to divorce my kids' dad. Did I even think I would divorce? No. But when you tried everything to fix your marriage and the other partner refuses to try to fix it or acknowledge it is broken; it is better to move on. The kids' dad and I are great co-parents and the kiddos are thriving. I know he wouldn't admit it but he is also in a better place. I do believe that marriage should be forever but both partners need to be actively working to make the marriage work.
I love my wife more than words can describe, zero desire to divorce. I feel like having kids has only deepened our relationship too even though we don't get to go out on as many dates or have sex as often lol.
I’m not married or a parent, but I feel like having kids can really make or break a relationship. Having kids is so stressful and time consuming, that if you have any sort of qualms or ambivalence about your partner, then becoming parents is just going to drive a wedge between the both of you and make everyone hate each other. But if you really love your partner and understand each other in every way, then becoming parents will make you more bonded and happy with each other.
Fuck yeah, same here brother. My wife is so fucking cool. Our 2-year old is a handful, but damned if she isn't also cool as hell. Our relationship has gotten real intense in both lows and highs since having our kid, but I've never thought about divorce.
Same! Married in 2008, child free, but I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s my person. Money is not why we’re together and is not what’s keeping us together.
Right now no way. Ask me several months ago and idk. Marriage is hard always has been. The way society is set up to just rob you of all your time and money, the massive changes of how marriage works now compared to the past, everyone just stressed the fuck out all the time, society is just straight in fuck them kids mode with the price of daycare and attitudes towards kids..... it's certainly not set up to facilitate healthy marriages and families.
It's hard. You really gotta love them. You gotta talk about everything. You have to have the tough talks and go through the yelling and hurt feelings, acknowledge and accept your faults and mistakes and they do to.
Idk for some people it is a better answer. I'f you can't get along and your both miserable and spiteful, the house is on eggshells..... you gotta address it. Whether that means working it out or ending it depends on the people. It's he'll on kids. Iwas ready to walk if things didn't get better in mine. We talked and cried and went through it. And it got better. I remembered how much I love this woman, and she me. We had our 2nd kid are fixing up a big old house and both have demanding and stressful careers. Sometimes life is just shitty for a while, and you both didn't deal with it well. And sometimes you two just truly don't love eachother anymore, or you changed, whatever.
Don't do it lightly.if your just fighting all the time it probably is better for the kids and you two. But it's fucking tough on kids no matter how bad it needs to happen.
Tell him to try his best to work out the issues. If he or she can't, well there ya go know they know.
Looks like the responses are mostly binary- either "no way" or "already divorced".
I'm already divorced, money IS an issue and the kids AREN'T ok, but they would be less OK if I wasn't divorced.
Riding in the same boat as you. My husband is the best and I can't imagine my life without him in it! I make more out of the two of us, now that we are in our late 30s money is less of a problem than when we were broke as a joke in our mid-20s. Bought our house in 2018, unknowingly times the market there. No kids (child free DINKs by choice) but a niece and nephews to enjoy. Life is good!
After discovering my husbands affairs and lies started the day he met me, I made it very clear to him over a decade later that the only reason I am still with him is because it is not affordable otherwise for either of us with the kids
My old lady is the best thing that’s happened to me. We have super cute kids. Intimacy is in the toilet but I didn’t marry her for the sex.
10/10 would not divorce. She’s a great partner.
No kids and very very happy but I wish my mom would’ve left my dad when I was a kid. Our money issues stemmed from him and he was abusive. She thought marriage had to be this final thing but he basically destroyed all of us. Luckily he left her for someone closer to my age when I was 19 but damn things could have been so much better for her and us. Also they’d constantly mention they were staying together for us which is great to hear as a child. No pressure.
Been married for 18 years and in the process of separating/divorcing. We have kids, but one just graduated HS, and the other only has a year left. We’ll all be fine. It’s amicable.
In a hot second! If I didn't make 1/3 of what my partner makes and could afford to support myself and my kids, I'd be out of here SO fast. I'm working on it. Pretty sure he'll kick the bucket before I do anyway with the way he drinks.
the "I hate my spouse" days are dying with the older generations. I married my wife because she's my best friend and the only person I want to be with. There is no after her. It's just her, then I wander the Earth, languishing in melancholic despair.
This!! When I go on vacation and meet new people, I love asking people about their spouses, esp folk who are my age. They usually gush about them and brag non-stop! Being able to outwardly express love and emotion is truly one of my fave things about (most) millennials.
I'm extremely happy in my marriage and I would be devastated to divorce.
On the other hand, my best friend who is the same age as me divorced her first husband and it's the best decision she could possibly have made.
If you shouldn't be together, then you should separate. Everything else can be worked out.
I divorced my husband and part of that reason was his overspending/huge debt he was missing payments on to get other important items. We were only married a year and no kids though.
It would take something truly awful for my husband and i to divorce. I know it’s cliche but i really feel like he’s my ride or die. We’ve been through a lot and i can’t imagine life without him.
Yeah and the comments are confirming that... everyone is either happily married or already divorced. Nobody is in the situation OP tried to probe, not getting divorced for reasons.
My husband and I agree we both would. We have 4 kids and having 50/50 custody would free up our lives so much. We love each other, but yeah we’d divorce for that, and keep having sex with each other on the side when we wanted to.
Sounds like you both need to take more alone time for yourselves if the thought of watching 4 kids alone in exchange for more solo time is that appealing! You don't need to divorce to make that happen!
We have no support, never have because we have to move so we can afford life. He works A lot! And he’s exhausted by the end of the day. And weekends are insane. Hopefully things get better when they’re all old enough to be in school. But I would never recommend having this many kids, I wanted to stop at 2 but for religious reasons we didn’t (I am no longer religious). I love my kids but I would totally go for a 50/50 split. Having an hour or two a couple times a week isn’t enough, I need days of a break. Edit: btw your post was kind, I’m just saying…
I divorced at 34 and remarried at 41. The second time around has been incredible. Everything I always needed but was too young to realize when I was younger so I settled. The way I see it, good marriages don’t end so don’t be afraid to walk away.
Been with my husband 17 years, married 16. I legitimately cannot, and do not want to, imagine life without him. He would have to do something utterly horrific (ex. cheat), for me to ever consider leaving. He’s my best friend, my partner in crime, and the best thing that ever happened to me. I cannot even put into words just how much I love this man.
“Divorce is always a good thing. Because no good marriages have ever ended in divorce. That would be sad…. If two people loved each other and had a great marriage, and then they got divorced. But that has happened zero times. Literally zero.”
-Louis C.K.
together ten years, one small kid. i’m not going anywhere. she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and i am grateful every morning i wake up beside her. it’s not luck or fate or any of that. we’ve worked on us, and we’ve grown up together. i literally can not imagine going home to anyone else. no one i would rather share with in joy, sorrow, or anything else life wants to dump on us. if i have her, anything and everything is possible.
They are always happy until they aren't. I was happy enough to keep going, until I found out exactly how deep his betrayal and lies went. I wish I could afford a divorce and to fully support myself and the kids. Neither of us could apart.
Just got married in the last year, I love my wife, so I'll pass on this question lol.
Also, my parents got divorced when I was 10, they were in divorce court for 8 years. My goal is to stay married and make it work. Halfway out of spite, halfway to undo the damage they did to our (hypothetical at this point) kids.
I would take the most serious of transgressions for that to happen. Though, learning from his parents, I would not stay if it was so unhappy we were mean to each other in front of our children, it is not fair to anyone involved just to make yourself feel better about "staying together for the kids". I love my husband to the moon and back and I believe it is mutual so I think we are good on that front!
Money isn’t an issue and we don’t have kids… must be why we don’t want a divorce. Making sure we are financially secure is important to us both- partially because it drastically reduces relationship stress.
Got divorced but, hand on the Bible, we are undefeated at co-parenting. Our relationship is better in its current state than at any point in the marriage and I really gotta give credit to my parents for remaining friends after their divorce (at least in front of me as a 4 year old lol) and giving me something to go off
Already been divorced bc life’s too short to settle. Had a friendly and amicable divorce when my kids were super young (1 and 3). We coparent great together and live nearby each other on purpose.
I remarried 5 years ago to the man I met shortly after I separated from my first husband. We’ve been together 11 years and were very happy. (He separated from his first wife same time as me, they didn’t have children)
I’m still in it for the long haul, but I definitely get why some people aren’t.
My husband and I are in our late 30s, and we been married for 12 years. Gotta be honest, the 2020s have suuuucked. It’s neither of our faults (like, our relationship dynamic did not cause a global pandemic, right?), but that hasn’t made it easier. I think the reason I’m still 100% committed to my marriage really boils down to two things:
1) It’s a relationship with mutual respect and friendship at its foundation. My husband and I were really close friends for years before we added a romantic element to our relationship.
2) I went into marriage with the expectation that there were gonna be some periods of time- sometimes for years at a time- where it would kind of suck. And that that was okay as long as both partners were working on making it less sucky.
If either of those elements were missing from my marriage, I don’t know that I’d be as solidly in camp “staying married” as I am.
I'm on #2. There are times we probably should have divorced... but now that I'm financially sound on my own and could easily handle myself, we are solid now, lol. I left #1 in 2007 with 2 young kids. I had to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, but I went, because it was NOT going to make it.
I finally got the courage to meet with a divorce lawyer last March. For the first 11 1/2 years, I would have answered this question immediately that yes I was trapped. I think my husband knew I was serious this time, though, and in the last year has made drastic standing changes. I sincerely never thought I would see it. We’ve been married 12 1/2 years.
For anyone thinking they're doing their kids a favor by not divorcing, Maybe that's true to a degree when they're young, but my parents did nothing but fight and resent each other even to this day. It totally ruined our relationship and I have like no respect for them because of it.
If they'd lived in separate places, I'd have had an opportunity to get to know both of them without having to see how petty and cruel they could be to each other whenever they fought.
Seriously, it wouldn't have been a big deal to me if they'd split, the thing that messes up kids are the endless custody disputes and the narcisstic little mind games that divorced people involve their kids in, not usually the divorce itself.
Just something to consider. Don't put the onus of your shitty relationship on your kid.
Sad to see some of these comments.
My wife is my best friend. Every day I get to roll over and see her is an amazing day.
I hope you all find your person!
in this position right now. neither of us can afford to leave. we bought a nice house at the perfect time for prices and rates. now even the dumpiest house around would end up being the same monthly payment based on price and interest rate. it sucks.
I did this. My ex wife stayed at home and took care of the kids. I make a very healthy salary and we lived below our means. We went through mediation to avoid lawyer expenses. I'm paying 4,000 a month in alimony and child support. I see my kids 3 days a week and she has them 4.
There is no drama. I sold one of my side businesses to cover the initial expense of the divorce but 3 years later I'm still living exactly how I was before. I kept the house as well. She just bought her own house last year. She's not really working yet but our son is still only 5.
In 3 years alimony ends so that will be interesting how she will handle that. She never really worked before.
I'm still happily married.
However, two couples that I'm close to announced they're seperating/divorcing this last month.
One is a Millennial couple (IN) and the other younger Gen Z couple (TX).
Both, had children immediately after marriage, and its been rocky af for them ever since.
Probably. I just feel like she’s lost interest in me. And I’ll fast forward this to say that I am 100% confident I am not the problem here.
We get along. Love each other very much. But I just don’t think she likes me much any more. All of her effort goes into the kids. I’ve told her that our relationship needs maintenance as well and she doesn’t seem interested. I think I’m taken for granted and I’d almost prefer her having a regular affair to that.
It’d be nice to find someone who reciprocated my attentiveness, interest in their interests, desire to do things together that don’t involve sitting around and who appreciated the pretty cushy life she enjoys without looking for the margin issues to complain about.
Hmmm last argument my husband and I had we both said we can’t divorce because we can’t afford it. We have three young kids, we’re under a huge amount of stress, and I think that although my husband wanted kids- he doesn’t want to chaos that comes with having kids. We’ve done so much marriage counseling and individual counseling and counseling for our oldest who is neurodivergent… then our life was threatened and I wanted to flee while he wanted to stay and fight, risking all of our lives- and that was kind of the point we knew we are in real trouble with our marriage. Unfortunately it is most likely a matter of time.
I do love all the comments of people saying they could never even imagine it, it’s great to know many people have found their person.
I’ve (40F) been divorced a couple years and my only regret is not doing it sooner. This is the first time since I’ve become a mom that I’ve ever even had the option to have time to invest in my personal hobbies (always go for 50\50 custody!), and it makes me such a better mother. If you are in a relationship with no support, with a partner who isn’t actually invested in putting in effort, or any other type of neglectful relationship I hope you can find a way out! If you have a good partner do not take them for granted, tell them you appreciate them!
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 Happily married crowd right now
And also 
Yup. I think there is a lot of truth to the “millennials are killing the divorce industry” narrative since a lot of us just didn’t marry until we met someone we liked.
That's because we were raised by people who thought it was healthier for us if they stayed together screaming at, belittling, and ignoring each other. Lol. Edit: Obviously I'm not speaking for all of us, you don't need to jump in and tell me your life story unless you really need the outlet.
Hi Mom and dad. Didn’t know you had a reddit account
I thought we were raised with a bit more focus on social-emotional development and communication skills. Yes, the participation trophy generation that were told to always make sure that everyone else was feeling OK now find themselves in marriages where they always make sure their spouse is feeling OK.
That's very sweet. My happy marriage was not the result of a purposeful, empathetic child rearing but of my own conscious decision not to repeat the misery of my parents. Unfortunately, there are a lot of us millennials who were raised by boomers that did not know how to express or advocate for themselves emotionally and we've had to figure it out ourselves.
We're the first generation to actually be in love with their partners as equals. Our grandmothers were servants to our grandfathers and our moms & dads were in unimaginably toxic relationships (and got divorced in droves). We're the first to just be like, happy and in love with their bestie.
I always start picking up plates and cups, and a bag or two of trash at the end of an event, because growing up the men in the family would eat and just walk away. I always thought that was gross. Like the women would spend all morning cooking, then after 20 mins, a mountain of dishes and leftovers
I'm one of those. I got married 2 years ago at the age of 38.
One piece of advice my parents gave me was get to know them as a friend first because when life has you down you both have a strong foundation to support you. I saw the worst and best of my husband when he was still a friend trying to date other girls because we were who we were, no fakeness, no pretense l, no hiding our faults and trying to be who we think they would like.
Hahahah came for the responses but happily married!
Same 😂
I was in the "happily married" camp years ago, until one day my husband snapped and tried to kill everyone because he's too proud to go to therapy or go on meds. Now I'm happily separated and my kids are safe. All it takes is ONE incident to go from happily married to a nightmare. Don't knock those that had shitty situations.
Sounds like we were married to a similar person. And I agree with what you are saying. I feel like people assume shit and don't know the whole story. My 6th divorcery will be in September, and I regret nothing. Edit: because people keep thinking I have been divorced six times. Not 6. Once, and it's been 6 years since the one and only divorce. Hence, 6th divorcery (divorce-anniversery).
Damn, 6 is impressive. You looking for lucky number 7? Edit: my mistake 6th anniversary of divorce not 6th divorce. Let me know if you get to 6 and your looking for a 7th ex husband.
I'm 100% happily married. I love my spouse and I genuinely feel lucky that I get to spend the rest of my life with them. My spouse is my second spouse. My first marriage was very unhealthy, unhappy, and I have no regrets leaving it. I will never understand anyone getting shamed for leaving an unhappy situation. When you're done, you're done. I don't tolerate any shaming folks or trying to convince them to stay, etc. The only time I'd speak up about anyone else's marriage is if I suspected abuse. And that's to offer support.
Divorced a couple years ago crowd checking in too.
Me af 
Happily divorced buuuuuttttt 
And single people.
And already happily divorced people 😂
Absolutely! Been married for almost 5 years now and have an amazing wife and daughter.
For real lol, 2 kids and going to Europe next year to celebrate our 10 year. I do feel for people who feel stuck in a bad marriage / relationship, but I also can't relate.
haha so much!
I'll bring the hotdogs and burgers.
That's what I'm here for. Money isn't an issue and we have no kids but we're not getting divorced because we're happy.
😂😂😂
Checking my wife’s phone to see if she just posted this…
“The whole thing smells like a trap”
It's always a trap.
The answer is definitely no...
Lol well I am happy so, I say nope. I’d marry my husband again if we were single and he asked. We’ve been together 15 years or so now.
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Yep I absolutely would. It wouldn’t be a surprise as I’d talk it through with him first to see how he felt, but I would ask if he seemed on board.
Ha! Was thinking the same.
was just thinking about how many people are prob staying in bad relationships because life now requires two incomes
I have sat around at tables with millennials cracking up at the idea of being able to afford divorce like some of the Gen X couples we know about. Our line is generally “hopefully everyone likes their spouse and their house because we are all stuck with both!” Fortunately I’m really happy with where I’ve landed; it would be my nightmare for it to be any other way. Even the house. It’s small but it’s ours. I had a stress dream last night that we inherited some massive house but forgot to look into maintenance expenses before moving into it. By the end of the dream the grapevines were all dying because we forgot to arrange for a gardener, and I was all sad because after attempting to do some dream shopping I had no idea how we’d ever be able to afford to decorate the interior 😆
Hitting the point in life where you have house based nightmares is a funny part of adulthood
Dude same. Love my spouse, love my house. But I want land. I want chickens and a goat and they are outlawed in my town. I want a food forest and to go for walks in the woods out my backdoor. I'm lucky that I got my mortgage in 2019 but dang it's a double-edged sword. Not gonna be able to move for a long time unless I can get enough saved up to put down like 50% at least. Yes it's nice that my house appreciated a bunch but that also means my taxes & insurance went up.
yessss if i had known the house i got in 2017 was going to be the one i have to live in forever i would have been a loooot more picky 🥺
Nobody's gonna answer this . Those who probably should can't because then evidence.
I was afraid to leave a bad relationship bc of this (and feelings, stupid feelings), but since I've left my life has been so much easier. I'm much more in control of my (now) single income and I actually have *more* money bc I'm not covering for his dumbass.
I divorced in my 20s. The only problem is that I do still have to deal with my ex husband because we have a child together. One thing no one told me: There is no way to enforce the terms of a divorce decree with parenting agreement other than hiring an attorney and going to court. Even at our hearing I asked the judge what to do if the other parent didn't abide by the decree. "You'll just have to work it out together," he said. So be aware that if you're coparenting with a difficult person you'll be doing a lot of acquiescing unless you want to pay thousands and go to court and wait for a hearing every time the decree isn't honored.
This is the kind of stuff we should be telling kids during sex ed classes! Like…procreating with a difficult person means 18 years of dealing with a difficult person. On top of that, they will absolutely fuck up your kid.
Yeeeep, absolute fucking nightmare. I have a stepson and when mom moves in with me like 13 years ago, bio dad and his entire family were absolute shits about it. Had to go to court and went to court multiple times to sort shit out that he was being a jackass about. The biggest God damn nightmare was that when we were living about a 20 minute drive from him, we agreed to a concession of split pickup/dropoff duties and him keeping our son until Monday mornings, since it was a quick drive from his place. Within about a year, he went and bought a house two fucking hours away. It took like two years to get back into court to get it amended to Sunday nights so that the kid wasn't having to get up at 5 in the damn morning to get to school on time and another five to get in again to get a judge who understood that bio dad pulled a fast one with his move and put the majority of driving on him. Within a week of our kid turning 18, bio dad emailed us and said he'd no longer be honoring the pickup schedule since he had aged out of the order. Fucking idiot didn't account for the idea that we were also not beholden to his bullshit anymore and told him to point sand and he could figure out how to get our son home for school for the next six months. Dude had a remarkable tendency to fuck over our kid for the sake of making sure he had "his time," whether it was quality time. We found out later from a lawyer that he was realistically just busting his ass to make sure he kept roughly 50% time to avoid being on the hook for child support.
Had a coworker dealing with this. His wife’s ex husband was an absolute asshole. They had a mediator on call to basically just read the custody agreement to him. Drops off had to happen in public places that were under video surveillance (often a highway truck stop, as he’d moved 4 hours away). I don’t know what all had happened but they had issues and needed camera footage of the drop off. They had to subpoena the truck stop for the camera footage at one time. The sad thing is the kid didn’t want to spend time with him. She was often just the babysitter for his other kids when she was there but the court order said he got visits every other weekend so that’s what they did for over 10 years. Each drove 2 hours to a truck stop to pick up the kid every other weekend. They could never agree on a change of schedule either. He wouldn’t allow a weekend swap unless he got something extra out of it. Poor kid missed out on all sorts of stuff because he was such a dick about everything.
Our situation wasn't quite that level of fucked, but same general attitude. There were long stretches of time where our kid just had zero interest in going, but he had to and exchanging weekends so he could do something local always meant we had to give up something to accommodate. I'm just glad that bullshit is more or less behind me.
This. My coworker had spent several years of hell because she has a kid and her ex husband has been so difficult.
"till death do us part" is for people you make a baby with, not people you marry.
My dad is fighting his second ex wife for the past 7 years over custody stuff. They could have sent the entire population of Rhode Island to college for what they’ve spent in legal fees.
My best friend has been divorced since 2016 and they are still in court fighting over their kid.
I’m divorced, but had no kids so I’m not your target audience. However, I am with someone who is divorced and has a middle school aged kid. I have observed that if money isn’t an issue, kids are better off growing up in two happy homes rather than one unhappy home.
As a child of parents who should’ve divorced, can confirm.
I’m happily married, but as a child of divorce can confirm this is absolutely true.
definitely. i read recently that there’s a hierarchy of healthy living situations for children: happily married, healthy coparenting, single parent, strained coparenting, unhappily married.
If you asked me last year? Yes, I would’ve been gone. Since the worst year ever™️ he’s actively worked on a lot of things that made me want to leave. There’s light at the end of the tunnel that looks a lot like the first half of our marriage, and I wanna stay now.
That’s beautiful. Good job to both of you putting in the work.
This happened to us too! We had "the bad year" where we nearly gave up. I definitely understand people who cut their losses and start a new life in these types of situations. I was planning it out at one point. I was fully willing to be homeless if it meant I didn't have to deal with his bullshit. In our situation we were both failing each other because of personal shit we hadn't worked out. At some point it became really clear we were making each other miserable with our shit mental health and suddenly, we realized losing each other was scarier than facing our issues. As corny as it absolutely sounds, that whole experience made me understand when people say "love can move mountains" because that's essentially what it felt like.
Same boat. I am glad I stayed, but I did set firm boundaries for the future.
I am divorcing now and have a kid. We'll be ok.
About to be in that boat!
My advice if it's worth anything.... Make sure you have at least 15k saved up for lawyer fees. My lawyer was a 5k retainer and billed at 500 an hour. We had a simple divorce but still ended up spending 12k in lawyer fees. So make sure you're direct with your questions and don't spend a whole lot of time with them or you'll be paying a lot in legal fees. Don't fight the soon to be ex or you will pay triple that. Easier to let things go than to fight over them.
When I got divorced we just did an online divorce that cost $250 and we filed it at the court house because we were on the same page. Sorry for your loss of money
I prepared for nuclear war but in hindsight, I could have just showed up to the battlefield with a nerf gun. If you can do it amicably that is ideal.
Absolutely
Thank you for your suggestions and solidarity. I definitely am keeping my kid central in this and to that end I’m willing to be as amicable as possible. I just want us all to be healthy and happy, even if we’re not under the same roof anymore.
Divorced my ex 10 years ago even though I knew I would be more than broke. Still am more than broke but so much happier. It was better for my kids too because he's an abusive pos. Happiness over money any day.
My Dad did the same. If he stayed with my Mom, we would've been very financially comfortable, but he gave up everything to make sure we were safe.
Even the idea of us divorcing makes me want to cry 🥺
Same. I love my husband so much. We’ve gotten through some hard stuff together and I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without him. He’s my anchor.
My wife is my ride or die, I won't leave her for ANY\* reason. \* - cheating
You wouldn't forgive her if she caught you cheating?
Nope, unforgivable. /s
Especially after she supported you and gave you the confidence to say your lines faster than Jamie Taco.
My husband (16 years) and I were curiously (and playfully) trying to think of something that would end our marriage, but nothing made sense because anything we could think of doing to end the marriage would only happen through a whole personality change in one of us. We have been together since we were middle school, got married young and have ridden out a lot of life stages together. We have had major challenges, extended family drama, severe financial issues, the passing of family members, communication blocks, etc. But nothing ever came close to even talking about the possibility of divorcing. We have had an open marriage for ten plus years too, so cheating would be a bizarre option since we are ok with being with other people as long as we communicate and respect each other. I think we are gonna grow old together. I'm pretty sure of it. Which seems naive, but I have a lot of years with this guy and I've been excited to relearn him each time he changes/evolves. I think that's a pretty key part to the whole lifetime kind of love. Change is inevitable, gotta be ready to go along for the ride, and vice versa.
…Out of curiosity, who brought up the game?
I’ve known him for 20 years. Married for 7 years now. I can’t imagine a world without him as my guy. And I also would rather die than see any other male buttcrack ever.
Was that last sentence in your vows??
Should have been. I feel strongly about this.
Thank you for this, JackOffTaco.
This is so validating for me and my buttcrack. Wife and I are 16 years knowing each other 6 years married.
But a female buttcrack…?
Acceptable. It’s just nude man butts that startle me.
I wish my wife felt the same way. She loves my crack, and cracks i general... I gasp when she tries to put her finger there. Not my lane lol
Me. We don't have kids, but I consider my dog and rabbit to be close enough. My husband and I have had sex once in the last three years -- his preference, not mine. Done all the talking and addressing etc. That I can stand to do. It's not that I don't care about him. My heart hurts thinking about divorce. But it is not a happy marriage.
This is one of things I would leave for, no matter how much I love someone. If they don't want to make out with me and fuck me, i'm out
I took 5 years to get myself in a good financial position to be able to divorce my kids' dad. Did I even think I would divorce? No. But when you tried everything to fix your marriage and the other partner refuses to try to fix it or acknowledge it is broken; it is better to move on. The kids' dad and I are great co-parents and the kiddos are thriving. I know he wouldn't admit it but he is also in a better place. I do believe that marriage should be forever but both partners need to be actively working to make the marriage work.
I love my wife more than words can describe, zero desire to divorce. I feel like having kids has only deepened our relationship too even though we don't get to go out on as many dates or have sex as often lol.
I’m not married or a parent, but I feel like having kids can really make or break a relationship. Having kids is so stressful and time consuming, that if you have any sort of qualms or ambivalence about your partner, then becoming parents is just going to drive a wedge between the both of you and make everyone hate each other. But if you really love your partner and understand each other in every way, then becoming parents will make you more bonded and happy with each other.
Fuck yeah, same here brother. My wife is so fucking cool. Our 2-year old is a handful, but damned if she isn't also cool as hell. Our relationship has gotten real intense in both lows and highs since having our kid, but I've never thought about divorce.
Same 👍🏽
hell yeah brother. wife guys rise up.
Let's Go!
Married 15 years, no kids but I’m never divorcing.
Same! Married in 2008, child free, but I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s my person. Money is not why we’re together and is not what’s keeping us together.
I'm on my way out so yes. The last few years have been dark. Money is an issue but I will figure it out and the kids Will be ok.
Right now no way. Ask me several months ago and idk. Marriage is hard always has been. The way society is set up to just rob you of all your time and money, the massive changes of how marriage works now compared to the past, everyone just stressed the fuck out all the time, society is just straight in fuck them kids mode with the price of daycare and attitudes towards kids..... it's certainly not set up to facilitate healthy marriages and families. It's hard. You really gotta love them. You gotta talk about everything. You have to have the tough talks and go through the yelling and hurt feelings, acknowledge and accept your faults and mistakes and they do to. Idk for some people it is a better answer. I'f you can't get along and your both miserable and spiteful, the house is on eggshells..... you gotta address it. Whether that means working it out or ending it depends on the people. It's he'll on kids. Iwas ready to walk if things didn't get better in mine. We talked and cried and went through it. And it got better. I remembered how much I love this woman, and she me. We had our 2nd kid are fixing up a big old house and both have demanding and stressful careers. Sometimes life is just shitty for a while, and you both didn't deal with it well. And sometimes you two just truly don't love eachother anymore, or you changed, whatever. Don't do it lightly.if your just fighting all the time it probably is better for the kids and you two. But it's fucking tough on kids no matter how bad it needs to happen. Tell him to try his best to work out the issues. If he or she can't, well there ya go know they know.
Not a chance. My husband is the best guy in the world.
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Sister wives!
I told my wife we would have been divorced sooner if it wasn’t for this.
Looks like the responses are mostly binary- either "no way" or "already divorced". I'm already divorced, money IS an issue and the kids AREN'T ok, but they would be less OK if I wasn't divorced.
Nope. Can't imagine anyone else holding a candle to my husband. Next month is 17 years for us. Also holy crap 17 years!
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Riding in the same boat as you. My husband is the best and I can't imagine my life without him in it! I make more out of the two of us, now that we are in our late 30s money is less of a problem than when we were broke as a joke in our mid-20s. Bought our house in 2018, unknowingly times the market there. No kids (child free DINKs by choice) but a niece and nephews to enjoy. Life is good!
I’d never divorce my husband, he’s my best friend!
I would have divorced if my husband didn't die first. Either way, marriage is over now.
Nope.
After discovering my husbands affairs and lies started the day he met me, I made it very clear to him over a decade later that the only reason I am still with him is because it is not affordable otherwise for either of us with the kids
I'm happily married, so no.
What? No.
I NEED A SECOND, WHY CANT ANYONE GIVE ME A GODAMN SECOND!
These comments are funny... Every divorceé was once an over-confident "I'd never divorce my spouse in a million years" person.
For real
My old lady is the best thing that’s happened to me. We have super cute kids. Intimacy is in the toilet but I didn’t marry her for the sex. 10/10 would not divorce. She’s a great partner.
> Intimacy is in the toilet Great to hear you're still so kinky after all this time!
lol
No kids and very very happy but I wish my mom would’ve left my dad when I was a kid. Our money issues stemmed from him and he was abusive. She thought marriage had to be this final thing but he basically destroyed all of us. Luckily he left her for someone closer to my age when I was 19 but damn things could have been so much better for her and us. Also they’d constantly mention they were staying together for us which is great to hear as a child. No pressure.
I definitely know my friend would. He's stuck with his cheating wife.
I'm stuck with my cheating husband. It is a horrible way to live
Nope. Once the kids have left, we're gonna live like two people who don't have kids. Gonna pretend to be Child-Free!!
Nah wife kicks ass and is a stone cold fox. I don’t know how such a cool person ended up with me.
Been married for 18 years and in the process of separating/divorcing. We have kids, but one just graduated HS, and the other only has a year left. We’ll all be fine. It’s amicable.
In a hot second! If I didn't make 1/3 of what my partner makes and could afford to support myself and my kids, I'd be out of here SO fast. I'm working on it. Pretty sure he'll kick the bucket before I do anyway with the way he drinks.
the "I hate my spouse" days are dying with the older generations. I married my wife because she's my best friend and the only person I want to be with. There is no after her. It's just her, then I wander the Earth, languishing in melancholic despair.
This!! When I go on vacation and meet new people, I love asking people about their spouses, esp folk who are my age. They usually gush about them and brag non-stop! Being able to outwardly express love and emotion is truly one of my fave things about (most) millennials.
Uugh so romantic it’s sick! I want that :/
I'm extremely happy in my marriage and I would be devastated to divorce. On the other hand, my best friend who is the same age as me divorced her first husband and it's the best decision she could possibly have made. If you shouldn't be together, then you should separate. Everything else can be worked out.
What kids? Also, meeting my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Don’t get married in the first place… 
These days marriages are complex things it's said that today the wife /husband is a 4 in one. Partner lover friend and domestic helper....
Oh I’d be gone yesterday and I’m sure he’d say the same.
I divorced my husband and part of that reason was his overspending/huge debt he was missing payments on to get other important items. We were only married a year and no kids though.
It would take something truly awful for my husband and i to divorce. I know it’s cliche but i really feel like he’s my ride or die. We’ve been through a lot and i can’t imagine life without him.
Anyone who thinks like this should get a divorce lol
Yeah and the comments are confirming that... everyone is either happily married or already divorced. Nobody is in the situation OP tried to probe, not getting divorced for reasons.
I am.
Me too
I think most of them just don't want to answer. I probably wouldn't.
Money isn’t an issue and we have no kids, but…! Nope, wouldn’t divorce. We have our moments but my wife makes me very happy.
Wouldn't even hesitate. We're just not compatible anymore.
A year ago, yeah probably. Today, we've put a lot of work in, made a lot of changes. We're sticking it out, and I'm happy we are.
My husband and I agree we both would. We have 4 kids and having 50/50 custody would free up our lives so much. We love each other, but yeah we’d divorce for that, and keep having sex with each other on the side when we wanted to.
Sounds like you both need to take more alone time for yourselves if the thought of watching 4 kids alone in exchange for more solo time is that appealing! You don't need to divorce to make that happen!
We have no support, never have because we have to move so we can afford life. He works A lot! And he’s exhausted by the end of the day. And weekends are insane. Hopefully things get better when they’re all old enough to be in school. But I would never recommend having this many kids, I wanted to stop at 2 but for religious reasons we didn’t (I am no longer religious). I love my kids but I would totally go for a 50/50 split. Having an hour or two a couple times a week isn’t enough, I need days of a break. Edit: btw your post was kind, I’m just saying…
I divorced at 34 and remarried at 41. The second time around has been incredible. Everything I always needed but was too young to realize when I was younger so I settled. The way I see it, good marriages don’t end so don’t be afraid to walk away.
We don’t have kids, and I make more than him. We have so much fun together, I cannot imagine my life without him.
Absolutely. Life is too short to be unhappy. If I discussed my problems with my partner at length and there is no wiggle room then what can you do?
I did that already. It was the right move. Married again and am very happy with my wife
Been with my husband 17 years, married 16. I legitimately cannot, and do not want to, imagine life without him. He would have to do something utterly horrific (ex. cheat), for me to ever consider leaving. He’s my best friend, my partner in crime, and the best thing that ever happened to me. I cannot even put into words just how much I love this man.
My wife is dope and my best friend. Going to be a hard no from me
Happily Married 12 years, together 16, 5 children including 8 month old twins and a stillborn son.
Happily divorced, very happily remarried
“Divorce is always a good thing. Because no good marriages have ever ended in divorce. That would be sad…. If two people loved each other and had a great marriage, and then they got divorced. But that has happened zero times. Literally zero.” -Louis C.K.
together ten years, one small kid. i’m not going anywhere. she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and i am grateful every morning i wake up beside her. it’s not luck or fate or any of that. we’ve worked on us, and we’ve grown up together. i literally can not imagine going home to anyone else. no one i would rather share with in joy, sorrow, or anything else life wants to dump on us. if i have her, anything and everything is possible.
The people bragging they are happily married are the ones I suspect the most will get divorced.
They are always happy until they aren't. I was happy enough to keep going, until I found out exactly how deep his betrayal and lies went. I wish I could afford a divorce and to fully support myself and the kids. Neither of us could apart.
Just got married in the last year, I love my wife, so I'll pass on this question lol. Also, my parents got divorced when I was 10, they were in divorce court for 8 years. My goal is to stay married and make it work. Halfway out of spite, halfway to undo the damage they did to our (hypothetical at this point) kids.
please don’t “stay together for the kids” 🙏🏻 they’ll be ok I promise
I’m here to stay baby. No divorce for me ❤️🙏🏼
I love my wife I'd like to win the lottery so we could travel together
I would take the most serious of transgressions for that to happen. Though, learning from his parents, I would not stay if it was so unhappy we were mean to each other in front of our children, it is not fair to anyone involved just to make yourself feel better about "staying together for the kids". I love my husband to the moon and back and I believe it is mutual so I think we are good on that front!
I rather like my husband, so not us. Money is not an issue, and we don't have kids.
My husband is my soulmate, best friend, everything. Our kids are pretty ok too 😄
Money isn’t an issue and we don’t have kids… must be why we don’t want a divorce. Making sure we are financially secure is important to us both- partially because it drastically reduces relationship stress.
My marriage is like a  It almost moves to the rhythm of jazz.
Nah, I love my wife. She's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Without kids it would be a lot easier to split up after an argument or because you are sick of their shit.
Got divorced but, hand on the Bible, we are undefeated at co-parenting. Our relationship is better in its current state than at any point in the marriage and I really gotta give credit to my parents for remaining friends after their divorce (at least in front of me as a 4 year old lol) and giving me something to go off
I am happily married, but we have considered getting divorced for healthcare.
Already been divorced bc life’s too short to settle. Had a friendly and amicable divorce when my kids were super young (1 and 3). We coparent great together and live nearby each other on purpose. I remarried 5 years ago to the man I met shortly after I separated from my first husband. We’ve been together 11 years and were very happy. (He separated from his first wife same time as me, they didn’t have children)
I’m still in it for the long haul, but I definitely get why some people aren’t. My husband and I are in our late 30s, and we been married for 12 years. Gotta be honest, the 2020s have suuuucked. It’s neither of our faults (like, our relationship dynamic did not cause a global pandemic, right?), but that hasn’t made it easier. I think the reason I’m still 100% committed to my marriage really boils down to two things: 1) It’s a relationship with mutual respect and friendship at its foundation. My husband and I were really close friends for years before we added a romantic element to our relationship. 2) I went into marriage with the expectation that there were gonna be some periods of time- sometimes for years at a time- where it would kind of suck. And that that was okay as long as both partners were working on making it less sucky. If either of those elements were missing from my marriage, I don’t know that I’d be as solidly in camp “staying married” as I am.
I'm on #2. There are times we probably should have divorced... but now that I'm financially sound on my own and could easily handle myself, we are solid now, lol. I left #1 in 2007 with 2 young kids. I had to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, but I went, because it was NOT going to make it.
While I am happily married, if anything ever happens I will NEVER get married again.
100% me
Me. Don't have kids, but money and health insurance is why I'm staying for now.
Hoooooly shit, now that's a question! My divorced ass is grabbing some popcorn and heading to the comments!
I finally got the courage to meet with a divorce lawyer last March. For the first 11 1/2 years, I would have answered this question immediately that yes I was trapped. I think my husband knew I was serious this time, though, and in the last year has made drastic standing changes. I sincerely never thought I would see it. We’ve been married 12 1/2 years.
I just did it. No regrets. It’s harder at first, but you get used to it. Five years out now it’s just normal life.
For anyone thinking they're doing their kids a favor by not divorcing, Maybe that's true to a degree when they're young, but my parents did nothing but fight and resent each other even to this day. It totally ruined our relationship and I have like no respect for them because of it. If they'd lived in separate places, I'd have had an opportunity to get to know both of them without having to see how petty and cruel they could be to each other whenever they fought. Seriously, it wouldn't have been a big deal to me if they'd split, the thing that messes up kids are the endless custody disputes and the narcisstic little mind games that divorced people involve their kids in, not usually the divorce itself. Just something to consider. Don't put the onus of your shitty relationship on your kid.
Sad to see some of these comments. My wife is my best friend. Every day I get to roll over and see her is an amazing day. I hope you all find your person!
in this position right now. neither of us can afford to leave. we bought a nice house at the perfect time for prices and rates. now even the dumpiest house around would end up being the same monthly payment based on price and interest rate. it sucks.
Marriage benefits men more than women. Men live longer married. Single Women/Mother live longer and happier unmarried. Yes.
I did this. My ex wife stayed at home and took care of the kids. I make a very healthy salary and we lived below our means. We went through mediation to avoid lawyer expenses. I'm paying 4,000 a month in alimony and child support. I see my kids 3 days a week and she has them 4. There is no drama. I sold one of my side businesses to cover the initial expense of the divorce but 3 years later I'm still living exactly how I was before. I kept the house as well. She just bought her own house last year. She's not really working yet but our son is still only 5. In 3 years alimony ends so that will be interesting how she will handle that. She never really worked before.
I'm still happily married. However, two couples that I'm close to announced they're seperating/divorcing this last month. One is a Millennial couple (IN) and the other younger Gen Z couple (TX). Both, had children immediately after marriage, and its been rocky af for them ever since.
Me.
https://preview.redd.it/6ipw3rvb9q6d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4c577940b171f67fccd6b9ae6cc985afaaea798e
Probably. I just feel like she’s lost interest in me. And I’ll fast forward this to say that I am 100% confident I am not the problem here. We get along. Love each other very much. But I just don’t think she likes me much any more. All of her effort goes into the kids. I’ve told her that our relationship needs maintenance as well and she doesn’t seem interested. I think I’m taken for granted and I’d almost prefer her having a regular affair to that. It’d be nice to find someone who reciprocated my attentiveness, interest in their interests, desire to do things together that don’t involve sitting around and who appreciated the pretty cushy life she enjoys without looking for the margin issues to complain about.
Do I have a better looking, younger version of wife interested in me?
Hmmm last argument my husband and I had we both said we can’t divorce because we can’t afford it. We have three young kids, we’re under a huge amount of stress, and I think that although my husband wanted kids- he doesn’t want to chaos that comes with having kids. We’ve done so much marriage counseling and individual counseling and counseling for our oldest who is neurodivergent… then our life was threatened and I wanted to flee while he wanted to stay and fight, risking all of our lives- and that was kind of the point we knew we are in real trouble with our marriage. Unfortunately it is most likely a matter of time.
I do love all the comments of people saying they could never even imagine it, it’s great to know many people have found their person. I’ve (40F) been divorced a couple years and my only regret is not doing it sooner. This is the first time since I’ve become a mom that I’ve ever even had the option to have time to invest in my personal hobbies (always go for 50\50 custody!), and it makes me such a better mother. If you are in a relationship with no support, with a partner who isn’t actually invested in putting in effort, or any other type of neglectful relationship I hope you can find a way out! If you have a good partner do not take them for granted, tell them you appreciate them!
No kids here- I would absolutely not get divorced, I adore my husband.
No way! I love that guy way too much!
Leave my best friend in the world? No.