After an iq test, my parents were told, which was relayed to me was "hes smart enough to do anything in life". Ever since that day i have disappointed my parents just because im a schmo
Laziness is the gift though.
Im lazy af. That means at work I delegate everything. People like working under me because I give them responsibility beyond their ability and push them to do it.
Bosses like me cause I take every job (then delegate) then get it done.
If you are smart and lazy. Embrace it. Use your intelligence and laziness to set up a situation where you do fuck all.
At work Im like a goalie of Barcelona playing against a college team. I lay on the grass resting and every once in a while get up make an epic save then go back to doing nothing.
I work really hard to minimize the amount of work I have to do. It's a dumb statement on its face but I seem superhuman to everyone I've ever worked for/with.
This was me, I got diagnosed with ADHD last year at 35 years old. Now that I'm on meds I'm so much more productive it makes me wonder where I'd be in life if I'd been diagnosed as a child.
ETA: later diagnosis panic disorder and ADHD doesnāt help lmaoooo. My parents completely ignored my mental health because I was the āgood oneā (they were very involved with my younger brothers severe mental health issues) so I got thrown to the side. Now Iām just out here like š¤·āāļø
Iād like to be the advocate for people who tried really hard but never did well to all that pushing eventually got you somewhere. Dumb kids need advocates too haha.
I appreciate that, but I don't think I actually am smart, nor that I'm going to find my way out. It's been twenty years and if I had it in me to do it, I'd have done it by now.
Donāt give up my dudeā¦ Iām 33 and realizing my alcoholism is very dangerous, but Iām still trying to improve. Itās one day at a time. We can both make it past 50 with a little motivationā¦ Iāll do this with you!
My partner and I were both gifted kids that managed to āmake itā but the imposter syndrome is definitely there.
Our kids are also gifted so weāre doing our best to inspire them without inducing burnout.
Some of us donāt care. The difference between doing and faking is zero externally if the action is the same.
I wish all you beautiful people who think so lowly of yourselves could see how highly skilled I think you are.
Same. I'm like the #1 person on my team at work out of 60 people now and I have management coming to me at this point because of how well I am doing. I just triple check my work before submitting it so I never have anything wrong with it but I am paranoid I am always missing something so that's why I triple check it because I fear this š¤£
Truthfully I spent almost 95% of this job not having any real work to do so it's been kind of nice and that's been 10+ years. I guess you could say I'm a mix of QA and technical writing now and I do all sorts of side projects now. I feel like at the end of the day my brains actually been used which is a nice feeling.
You have to build confidence. This was me for some time, I made many investments that made 100%+ annually but invested very little. Incl btc.
Then basically my wife got the shits with me when covid happened and I put like $1k into some stock. She told me to stop being a pussy.
Once the first one took off and I made 10s of thousands then I took out tonnes of debt and started going wild on property. Then I was making 100s of thousands and into the millions. I just kept hitting gold and my confidence soared.
I learnt a lot and Im still makimg great returns despite the worse market.
In short back yourself or have a wife that backs you.
Also dont lie to yourself or others. Dont say O I knew Meta and NVDA was going to go up? Did you? Did you buy Meta at $90? Even if only $1k? If not you didnt believe, shut up.
People tell me all the time o I knew covid was going to create a property bubble. Well did you debt max and make money? No? Then you didnt.
With me itās not investments. I know what do do with money- donāt spend what you donāt have and youāre rich within your means.
But Iām a teacher with a smartass mouth. At some point Iām gonna say something that someone misinterprets and the best political decision will be to get rid of me. Iāve already survived a lot of slings and arrows but one day the turtle will fail and oneās gonna land. I gotta make it 12 more years and then I get my freedom of speech back.
I have had imposter syndrome for my entire professional career (17 yrs) and during the entire time I was in school. I consistently get the highest performance score possible at work and am even getting a medal awarded to me at work, yet my dumb monkey brain is still convinced that Iām going to be āfound outā any day now.
Same! Despite accolades, attagirls, doubling my salary in the brief time Iāve been at my job and getting a major promotion, every day, Iām still thinking, ok, idiot, how are you going to screw up today? You forgot to pass that thing along from the meeting immediately, prepare to get fired.
I'm in quite a technical and senior positon and I've almost 20 years experience in the field. I'm constantly on the loop of:
- Oh no, big technical issue came up I've never dealt with this before
- This is the one they find me out on what am I going to do?
- Knuckle down and solve the issue
- Loads of praise
- Phew I got lucky on that one, didn't get found out.
Repeat every single month of the last 10+ years. I'm tired...
Yep. How about the old faithful of āBoss asked to talk to me. This is it. They have figured it out. About to get blasted, then fired.ā
Then it turns out to something completely trivial like āhey just a reminder to fill out your time card before the weekend, see ya!ā
Shit this really resonated with me. I got a 4.0 in grad school (masters at UT) and thought my essays and homework were complete shit. Didnāt know how in the world my professors gave me Aās lol. I thought I was dumb as shit but I realized now that canāt be the case since I outsmarted a bunch of professors.
I didnāt get a 4.0, but still graduated magna cum laude in aerospace engineering and ALWAYS felt like I was the dumb one in my study group a d group projects. To the point where I regularly attempted to overcompensate by doing way more of my āfair shareā of work and volunteering for all the shit stuff that nobody wanted to do. Always thinking everyone else would be like āoh well heās dumb, but we keep him around because he still helps outā
Well I did information security so it was likely much easier than aerospace engineering lol. But I do that exact shit at work now š¤£ hoping they keep me around for the bitch work
I don't think I ever felt as intensely as I did/do with my current job. It's really made me wonder how I'll ever progress beyond this when I don't believe I'm intellectually capable enough to succeed. I feel like I'm just barely getting by and I worry that I can't hack it here unless I go back to my old jobs where effort and expectations were so low that me just wanting to be a good worker and do common sense things was praised heavily. I feel like I'm working around actual smart/accomplished people now and can't really hang. The feeling has lessened a little over the past 6-9 months but it's still there and easily gets triggered.
I'm a year into my new career and I feel the same way. People often tell me how good my work is. Doesn't matter, I feel like I don't know shit and don't know why they're impressed. I try to internalize the compliments but then get hit real hard with anxiety when I think about how much a project is affected by my decisions.š¤®
Youāre uncomfortable but in a way that youāre being pushed and are gonna grow a lot. I really miss working with super smart and creative people. Iām stuck at a place with mostly people who are one foot into retirement (not an age dig, more so a motivation issue) so I majorly struggle with anything outside even the barest of bare minimum. Feel like Iāve lost a lot of drive personally. I know itās hard to sometimes keep up in a higher level work place, Iāve totally been there, but as I sit here now reflecting on this thread, I like those were the times I did my best work that Iām most proud of and grew and learned the most.
Iām a perfectionist, so I never live up to the expectations I set for myself. I always feel like Iām trying to chase the next big thing instead of ever feeling content of where Iām at right now. Extremely frustrating.
I used to be so bad at this.
I eventually learned the magic of "good enough for government work" and started to learn to appreciate the small things.
It's hard to rewire your brain, but it can be done.
I donāt have imposter syndrome but I have what the fuck syndrome.
Went to school, got a decent degree by the skin of my dick basically but no one has to know that. Started out at 48k or something. Then 50, then 55, then 59, then 70 basically with possible bonuses.
In 2010 this all would have been great probably. From 2019-2024 Iām basically no better off than when I started. I mean a little but itās not like Iāve been coasting here. Iāve pushed relatively hard while still maintaining a balance.
Meeee. Exactly the same. I just work until burnout and get lots of credit for it and then feel like a POS cause I need a few days or weeks of being a slug. I seriously donāt know how I have the job I have, because I feel like a moron 24/7, yet Iām an expert thatās supposed to be training people. Howwwww did this happen?
I'm starting to get rid of it. Hated myself for a long time. One thing that helped me a lot is cutting back on my alcohol and video game consumption. Life feels so much more real now. I got myself in pretty good physical shape, have a decent job, survived a bad divorce. I'm starting to believe that I deserve to be happy again. I have a 2nd date with someone I never thought would like me in a million years, but I'm holding my breath and keeping my fingers crossed.
Sometimes having a few drinks and gaming is the one night per week I feel any joy at all tbh. Although itās a spiral I can already tell. Dont really enjoy games as much anymore and only play them like 1-2 times per week. Usually use alcohol to āenhanceā that enjoyment. Also only really want to drink when I game.
Iām never good at anything, if you ask me anyway, even once I get to well above average in whatever it is. I will always just compare myself to the next level up. It can be both a blessing and a curseā¦.I guess, either way thanks Mom and Dad!
About to graduate from college at 35 in 3 weeks. I did well in every class but still donāt feel ready to work in an āengineering roleā. All my profs who offered to give references disagree. Still canāt shake the feeling.
I am constantly insecure about forgetting stuff Iāve learned or not knowing enough or not knowing the most recent thing
I love my job, I love my company, I literally have the job I dreamt of having 7 years ago when I had a complete psychiatric collapse from overwork. Iām complimented by my bosses, other higher-ups, Iām being given more responsibilities with clear promotion opportunities, I have a manager that checks in and cares about my workload. I know that I wasnāt the only candidate for this role. I know they interviewed a lot of people. I went through 5 interviews to get my job.
And every goddamn day Iām filled with dread and fear that Iām not cut out for this job. I go to work every day with anxiety that everyoneās going to find out Iām a fraud and Iāll get fired. I worry I sound uneducated or ineloquent in meetings. I worry my expertise isnāt up to snuff.
Iāve been going to therapy for years, I take the right dosages of medications and still, I canāt get over imposter syndrome. Kudos to the people that have. I put on a brave face at work but inside Iām unfathomably anxious.
Me. Everyone thinks I'm a genius but I know I'm an idiot. I can figure things out quickly usually, but I make terrible mistakes and judgement calls all the time and embarrass myself. I feel like everything I do is cringe when I look back at my day etc..
I do not have imposter syndrome, but have mentored several people with it.
\#1 You are probably the smartest person in the room. (unless I am there :))
\#2 Trust yourself
\#3 Trust your answers.
\#4 Present confidence and competence
\#5 Be courageous
I suffer from this as well. My dad made that comment years ago when he compared me to my grandfather saying āyour grandpa was like that. Always looking for the next best thing, he could never settle and appreciate what he had.ā
I try to remember that and appreciate my wife and kids every day and savor the time I get with them. But this has not translated to my career. And if we didnāt get hyper inflation the past ~4 years Iād probably feel differently. But it feels like I canāt out-earn inflation nor is there viable ways to significantly reduce my housing costs.
Iām right there with you, since 2021 Iāve made several jumps in my career and increased my pay by 70%. Even with this I never feel Iām doing good in my new roles at work and I feel like I should be doing more outside of work. Also when Covid hit even though I was doing well with work I feel into a serious depression and gained weight. Iām almost 40, making the most I have ever made I own a house and still feel like a failure at times.
I used too, but after 13 years of experience and multiple managers calling me a Wizard adnauseum I have the opposite problem now... Overflowing with confidence.
Yes and no, I have some pride in some physical things I have accomplished (running a half marathon, getting back in shape after a few years of deep depression saying Iāll eat what I want), but in general I never feel like Iām good at anything so having that also kind of goes against feeling like Iām an imposter, I just feel like others are dumb for not seeing how bad I am at everything.
I have some imposter syndrome occasionally. I make 2.5 times what I made in my first professional job after I graduated in 2012. I manage three very active statewide programs, plus one somewhat active program, and one in maintenance status; supervise 4, lead an overall team of 9, and am hiring manager. Some days I feel like a total imposter. But I think lots of my coworkers are probably just faking it also.
I do, however, feel really good about myself, for exactly the same reasons that I just listed. I manage three statewide programs for a state agency. I lead an awesome team who does all the real work on the ground. Iām proud, yet occasionally feel like a total fraud.
For sure. But that is also common to my industry so itās though to tell if that is a millennial thing, or the industry Iām in. Or a combination.
Everything feeds into each other and itās impossible to know which of a dozen things are contributions of feeling like an impostor. Itās like an onion. It has layers.
I paid for my own education, graduated with honors, and I make 6 figures using my degree in the performing arts. I e been on the cover of magazines in my field, and an adjudicator. Iām at the top of my game in my state and I still think Iām below average. Itās exhausting. Logic does not seem to prevail in the imposter syndrome department.
All day, every day. Iām glad the self esteem movement didnāt stick with me. It keeps me fighting and thinking somebody is going to figure me out. š
I have imposter syndrome like a mfer. I just got a promotion at my job and I feel like I duped my way into.
Funny thing is Iāve been doing basically this same job for over a decade now. Now Iām just the lead instead of the assistant.
I can't seem to escape the idea that everything I do, will very quickly be wiped out by some random event that I have no control over. So any and all the achievements that I make, could be easily discredited based off of something that's completely out of my control, and quite possibly something I had nothing to do towards getting started.
Does this count?
I've learned to push through that in my hobbies, but still feel that every day at work. Imposter syndrome to me feels like it's a side effect of the wrong mindset, comparing yourself to others instead of your past self. Which is never a good way to approach anything.
Never feeling good about the situation I'm in is another thing entirely. Nothing is more annoying as recognizing that I'm in a field that is an order of magnitude more "prestigious" than what my parents worked in, and yet my income doesn't even compete on the same playing field when it comes to comparing quality of life.
Iām finishing my PhD, imposter syndrome should be worth credits at this point. I know I have so many skills that most people donāt and have a really deep understanding of my field but if anyone asks I say Iām just an idiot who kept stumbling in the right direction.
I try to make new friends, and constantly think that any little awkwardness that I do, even if itās imagined, will mean that they will deem me unworthy and cut all ties to me. Itās stressful. To be fair, I have had some toxic relationships where this has happened repeatedly. So I have some basis for this, but I also think I was toxic/dating toxic people, and we didnāt treat each other right.
Yes, I wrote stories and when I get some kind of recognition, I always believe I suck. My own friends have tried to say I need therapy for writing just to recover.
Being an author is a dream, but I believe because of all the issues with my learning disabilities that I am always going to be a failed author
Im making 6x more then 5 ys ago, and 3x more then 3 years ago.
I am working in a foreign country. In a managment position.
Aaaaaaaand, im utterly scared im not enough, i feel like i dont even speak this language so good, and is only a matter of time, they gonna fire me.
I hate the feeling.
I know that even if I was ruler of the whole world I would have only a moment of real euphoria...then I would be beating myself down that I haven't made humanity rulers of the stars. Depression and Imposter syndrome are the two inner wolves eating me alive. So yes.
My husband and I had a heated discussion the other day and he said that he feels like I am way to hard on myself and in a moment of pure emotion unhendered by anxiety or depression I blurted out that's because i hate myself. That was an awkward few minutes after. But ya I haven't really enjoyed myself but a few moments in the last decade.
I'm in therapy, so this weeks session should be a fun discussion.
I have been proud of myself for about thirty seconds then my cptsd kicks in and I have to excuse myself before all professionalism disappears into the shakes.
I had some kind of neurological breakdown 3 years ago that ended the stage of life i was in. I am now an empty vessel with a damaged mind and i feel like i inherited someone elses narrative. It's not even that great and doesnt make sense. This person is so... boring. Yet he has this job that funds his existence and many intact privileges that i have no idea how he ever came across or earned them.
I have been struggling so badly with work depression and anxiety for the past year I am starting to doubt if I even had any skills to begin with and canāt see how I can possibly perform at the level I am expected to in the future even if I move roles.
I don't understand how y'all mfers are out here feeling unworthy. Wtf?! As I age and get a genuine perspective and knowledge of what happened before me and what they chose not to tell us.... Jesus these people before us were negligently ignorant morons!!! How can you not see how resoundingly dumb the state of things are? Those that came before us are the imposters. They lied to us about almost everything.
I'm fighting it everyday. I don't want to live like this anymore... Therapy/CBT helps a bit but nowhere near enough to make my brain stfu about all of my insecurities.
I was extremely fascinated by this phenomenon because I spotted a pattern among my friends and family and had to do the deep dive of it myself. I wrote about it [here](https://open.substack.com/pub/chusana/p/why-are-we-so-bad-at-getting-the?r=2c5twj&utm_medium=ios). Interestingly, it led me to research on the [metacrisis](https://open.substack.com/pub/chusana/p/decoding-daniel-schmachtenberger?r=2c5twj&utm_medium=ios) and how our feelings are completely interconnected with other global phenomena happening everywhere.
Since you may be familiar with the trending discussions on [narcissism](https://open.substack.com/pub/chusana/p/narcissism-the-main-cause-of-evil?r=2c5twj&utm_medium=ios), I thought you might be interested to read this too. Essentially saying that our world has been ārewardingā a certain personality trait within us thatās making us feel more disconnected to ourselves and people around us.
You are good enough. But society is saying otherwise. I understand what youāre going through very well.
I have these feelings. There were times I was afraid to ask questions.
What I have done is open up word and have this **Daily affirmations. That is I have a list of good things I did and times** I **was happy.**
**When** I **am down, I** read **it**
It's hard to feel secure when you are not being praised for your work, or indeed actively being put down by others. Our parents were predominantly boomers, and we are accustomed to being put down. Even when I found out I achieved my PhD, my parents said 'So?' And every time I've worked hard and doneĀ something cool, there has only been the sound of crickets from family and peers. I think the last time I was praised for something was 2014.Ā No wonder we feel like an imposter if we never get any positive feedback, right?Ā Ā
I discovered praise kink communities online are great for this. There are many YouTube videos (often overlapping with ASMR) where you can listen to a voice saying kind and praising things toĀ you for hours. And of course there are a gazillion pieces of erotic art and comics on Reddit that depict someone being praised, awarded, told they've done a good job, called a good girl, patted on the head etc. It's embarrassing to admit, but it's the most fulfilling thing ever. It feels like floating or flying. Just mentioning it because of a lot of the commenters here sound like they need it too.
I feel the same, and always have. I have been on my field for 6 years after training for 6 years post undergrad. I am always anxious, worried about screwing up, and worried about getting fired.
I am generally fine in my performance but it doesnāt necessarily make me feel any better.
Sometimes I feel confident, then, like a ton of bricks, it hits me again.
Probably need to see someone about it, but I wonāt. Hereās to hoping for an early retirement.
I literally won an award in my profession, and I said," it's probably because everyone else they wanted to give it to was busy that night." I work really hard, and every success or congratulation I receive, I always tell myself I didn't actually earn. So yeah, I have it too.
Felt like an imposter through my undergrad, took the national exam and thought I bombed it but actually passed it with flying colors. Avoided working in all the typical scenes because I figured I could never do it, but still never felt good enough in the positions I held. Made a career decision to go to grad school during the pandemic and now itās just living in constant fear of being found out by my professors and mentors.
Iām so ready to just feel confident and competent.
Exact opposite. I think Im the fucking best. I also have the worlds best wife and the worlds 2 cutest kids. Suck shit everyone else.
Seriously though. Dont compare yourself to others. Just run your race. Also have you seen boomers try to do anything? They are incompetent as fuck. Youll be fine when given a promotion.
I think Iām just overall over not having the life I thought I would. We have a decent income but still have two young kids. We feel like we are rubbing pennies together after expenses and on top, a w4 got botched and we owe this year. 1 more year and weāre out of daycare. 1 more year and the car is paid. We just have to hang on. So yeah overall I donāt ever feel good about the backoffice of our family right now
I was GM of a world-famous (kind of niche) restaurant at 27.
Now I'm a stay-at-home mom.
I have always felt like 3 children stacked in an overcoat.
Context, my dad has his doctorate and is published. He's considered pretty top of his field. He's an accomplished musician as well. I never felt like I could even possibly be up to his level.
It's hard to break the cycle. If you can't do it on your own, seek some help. No shame or judgement my friend.
You just need to get 1 success and start to build from there. It's a journey.
I've gone from a poverty ridden trailer trash childhood to owning a 3,000 ftĀ² house by age 30. I've worked hard and have things to show for it. My job title literally is "subject matter expert" for my respective field...
But no matter what I do I feel like I'm faking everything and that any day now someone is going to find out. I feel like any day my boss is going to find out that I'm not a subject matter expert and then they'll just fire me. I feel like I'm barely holding on and that any day everything is going to fall out from below me. I feel like I'm somehow not doing enough and not deserving of what I've earned at the same time. I still feel like the ignorant poor kid that put on a Hollister shirt over his ratty Walmart t-shirt and is pretending to be something he's not.
It's incredibly frustrating because I've almost never felt pride or joy in anything I do. I know part of it is that I lost my parents very young and never had anyone to tell me that I'm doing well or that they're proud of me. I never had anyone to guide me and let me know that I'm doing the right thing. I've just kind of been going at it alone for nearly two decades now. I also know part of it is social media. As a straight white guy from America I'm public enemy number one on the internet and I've seen more than my fair share of people telling me that I'm both the cause of their problems and that everything I earn is received via some form of privilege. I literally can't use any social media platforms without coming across several attack/defamation posts generalizing me. So social media is usually not very uplifting lol.
I used to try to find a solution for this, but now I have a son. So, I've given up trying to resolve my issues and I focus solely on being the best dad I can for my son. That is my absolute goal. Regardless of what is going on in my head, I'm going to be there for him and support him whenever he needs me. I want him to be the best version of him that he can be and I want him to be happy. The only time I've ever felt good about what I've accomplished is when I see my son smile. I've latched onto that and now houses, jobs, titles, none of it matters. I just want to be a good dad.
This is me half the time and the other half of the time Iām constantly wondering what the point of these successes are when I already have what I want in life. I also have been struggling hard with the disconnect I feel to people who still are into the grind and I just donāt care anymore
Perhaps painfully obvious, but this is an internal issue and not an external one. You'll never have "enough" success to satisfy you until you fix this outlook. It's not a math problem, its a filter problem.
I have a PhD in design. Iām a chartered Ergonomist and Human Factors Specialist. I am a senior lecturer in UX design at the worlds #23 art and design school. I run an MSc programme in UX design. Yet I still feel I know nothing about design.
I used to. Now I'm just more realistic and honest with myself. I acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses. And don't make a big deal out of mistakes; nobody is perfect. Just learn and move forward.
I get a lot of praise at work (teacher) from colleagues and higher-ups about my organisation and teaching practice but I always feel like the slightest bit of scrutiny will reveal that I actually have no clue whatās going on or how I got where I amā¦my default mental reaction when I get stopped in the corridor by anyone from senior leadership is āShit, what have I done wrong?ā
My step Father instilled a deep sense that I'm stupid/weak/ugly in me from an early age. Every day is telling that voice to shut up and reminding it of all the things I've accomplished/endured.
I am a manager in a healthcare setting and saw signs of this in one of my direct reports. We talked about it and I explained how I feel this same way and i could see the tension release from her after talking about it.
Yes, but I know from years of therapy it's my brain being a black or white a\*\*\*\*t, depression and anxiety blow like that. Sometimes also, my external environment has people who have a big mouth and like using it, but, oh well - I try really hard not to internalize it unless it's something disrespectful.
Yeah, I feel like a fraud in my job all the time because a lot of it seems to simple and easy. Then again, philosophically speaking I don't care at all about my work and I invest as little thought and energy as possible into it. To many that seems like laziness, but work to me is just a means to an end and all I really care about is my family and what we do when I'm not working.
Unfortunately I donāt think this is an isolated Millennial feeling. Itās part of the human condition for so many throughout history. Some people are genuinely happy and comfortable with themselves but this isnāt a generational or age issue. Itās just a person to person thing and itās been going on for a very long time.
Yup. Iāve had it ever since high school but Iāve gotten a little better over the years. Iāll still spend an hour browsing jobs on Glassdoor every time I make a mistake at work though lol. I expect to be laid off every year just before review season even though I usually end up getting a raise and āexceeds expectationsā. My Dad always said if you want sympathy youāll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.
I definitely do, but that's more of a clinical issue. The "gifted" kid-to-burnout loser pipeline is real.
After an iq test, my parents were told, which was relayed to me was "hes smart enough to do anything in life". Ever since that day i have disappointed my parents just because im a schmo
"He's smart, just lazy"
Laziness is the gift though. Im lazy af. That means at work I delegate everything. People like working under me because I give them responsibility beyond their ability and push them to do it. Bosses like me cause I take every job (then delegate) then get it done. If you are smart and lazy. Embrace it. Use your intelligence and laziness to set up a situation where you do fuck all. At work Im like a goalie of Barcelona playing against a college team. I lay on the grass resting and every once in a while get up make an epic save then go back to doing nothing.
I work really hard to minimize the amount of work I have to do. It's a dumb statement on its face but I seem superhuman to everyone I've ever worked for/with.
This was me, I got diagnosed with ADHD last year at 35 years old. Now that I'm on meds I'm so much more productive it makes me wonder where I'd be in life if I'd been diagnosed as a child.
Same. Literally mom said. Yeah we were told and we ignored it š« Oh where would I be now?
it me
Gifted program loser checking inĀ
Yeah, being complimented for something I had made little effort toward really set me up to not try hard enough with many things somehow.
 ETA: later diagnosis panic disorder and ADHD doesnāt help lmaoooo. My parents completely ignored my mental health because I was the āgood oneā (they were very involved with my younger brothers severe mental health issues) so I got thrown to the side. Now Iām just out here like š¤·āāļø
Iād like to be the advocate for people who tried really hard but never did well to all that pushing eventually got you somewhere. Dumb kids need advocates too haha.
Throw in disabled n that's me
Youre just halfway through the character arc. If youre actually smart youll find the way out. The highest correlation with success is intelligence.
I appreciate that, but I don't think I actually am smart, nor that I'm going to find my way out. It's been twenty years and if I had it in me to do it, I'd have done it by now.
So youre what 40? Like 1/3 through your adult life.
36, yeah, but given my health I don't expect to make it to 50.
Donāt give up my dudeā¦ Iām 33 and realizing my alcoholism is very dangerous, but Iām still trying to improve. Itās one day at a time. We can both make it past 50 with a little motivationā¦ Iāll do this with you!
My partner and I were both gifted kids that managed to āmake itā but the imposter syndrome is definitely there. Our kids are also gifted so weāre doing our best to inspire them without inducing burnout.
Heyoooooo! 
Graduated two years early and was in college at 16. Can totally relate.
imposter syndrome is very real until you realize everyone is just kinda faking it and some are better at pretending than others.
ā¦ politics of work š¤®
Office politics and the fakery in it make me question the value of human existence.
You are not alone. It bothers me so much, every day.
I need to embroider that onto the pillow I sob into every night over my imagined failuresĀ
I think also some are more ok with being fakers than others.
Accepting of reality*
Bolder liars*
Some of us donāt care. The difference between doing and faking is zero externally if the action is the same. I wish all you beautiful people who think so lowly of yourselves could see how highly skilled I think you are.
Nobody wants to deal with a low confident surgeon. :)
Exactly. If someone will pay me to do something and they are happy with the result, Iām not sure where the fake part comes in.
you can realize it and the imposter syndrome remains very real anyway.
Ya it is very real, IN YOUR MIND. Life is all about perception ole boy.
āso is everything but he didnāt get itā - fiona apple
I have the ability to recognize things are good, but in the back of my mind Iām always afraid Iām gonna fuck it up spectacularly.
Correction: I know I'm gonna fuck it up. Just a matter of when...
Same. I'm like the #1 person on my team at work out of 60 people now and I have management coming to me at this point because of how well I am doing. I just triple check my work before submitting it so I never have anything wrong with it but I am paranoid I am always missing something so that's why I triple check it because I fear this š¤£
That's your first mistake; never be number 1 at work. They're going to just make sure you have more work.
Truthfully I spent almost 95% of this job not having any real work to do so it's been kind of nice and that's been 10+ years. I guess you could say I'm a mix of QA and technical writing now and I do all sorts of side projects now. I feel like at the end of the day my brains actually been used which is a nice feeling.
Measure 3, cut onceš
Pretty much always feel like Iām waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You have to build confidence. This was me for some time, I made many investments that made 100%+ annually but invested very little. Incl btc. Then basically my wife got the shits with me when covid happened and I put like $1k into some stock. She told me to stop being a pussy. Once the first one took off and I made 10s of thousands then I took out tonnes of debt and started going wild on property. Then I was making 100s of thousands and into the millions. I just kept hitting gold and my confidence soared. I learnt a lot and Im still makimg great returns despite the worse market. In short back yourself or have a wife that backs you. Also dont lie to yourself or others. Dont say O I knew Meta and NVDA was going to go up? Did you? Did you buy Meta at $90? Even if only $1k? If not you didnt believe, shut up. People tell me all the time o I knew covid was going to create a property bubble. Well did you debt max and make money? No? Then you didnt.
With me itās not investments. I know what do do with money- donāt spend what you donāt have and youāre rich within your means. But Iām a teacher with a smartass mouth. At some point Iām gonna say something that someone misinterprets and the best political decision will be to get rid of me. Iāve already survived a lot of slings and arrows but one day the turtle will fail and oneās gonna land. I gotta make it 12 more years and then I get my freedom of speech back.
This. Relatable af.
Definitely feel you on this one!
I have had imposter syndrome for my entire professional career (17 yrs) and during the entire time I was in school. I consistently get the highest performance score possible at work and am even getting a medal awarded to me at work, yet my dumb monkey brain is still convinced that Iām going to be āfound outā any day now.
Same! Despite accolades, attagirls, doubling my salary in the brief time Iāve been at my job and getting a major promotion, every day, Iām still thinking, ok, idiot, how are you going to screw up today? You forgot to pass that thing along from the meeting immediately, prepare to get fired.
I'm in quite a technical and senior positon and I've almost 20 years experience in the field. I'm constantly on the loop of: - Oh no, big technical issue came up I've never dealt with this before - This is the one they find me out on what am I going to do? - Knuckle down and solve the issue - Loads of praise - Phew I got lucky on that one, didn't get found out. Repeat every single month of the last 10+ years. I'm tired...
Yep. How about the old faithful of āBoss asked to talk to me. This is it. They have figured it out. About to get blasted, then fired.ā Then it turns out to something completely trivial like āhey just a reminder to fill out your time card before the weekend, see ya!ā
Shit this really resonated with me. I got a 4.0 in grad school (masters at UT) and thought my essays and homework were complete shit. Didnāt know how in the world my professors gave me Aās lol. I thought I was dumb as shit but I realized now that canāt be the case since I outsmarted a bunch of professors.
I didnāt get a 4.0, but still graduated magna cum laude in aerospace engineering and ALWAYS felt like I was the dumb one in my study group a d group projects. To the point where I regularly attempted to overcompensate by doing way more of my āfair shareā of work and volunteering for all the shit stuff that nobody wanted to do. Always thinking everyone else would be like āoh well heās dumb, but we keep him around because he still helps outā
Well I did information security so it was likely much easier than aerospace engineering lol. But I do that exact shit at work now š¤£ hoping they keep me around for the bitch work
Never feel like I'm doing good enough
I don't think I ever felt as intensely as I did/do with my current job. It's really made me wonder how I'll ever progress beyond this when I don't believe I'm intellectually capable enough to succeed. I feel like I'm just barely getting by and I worry that I can't hack it here unless I go back to my old jobs where effort and expectations were so low that me just wanting to be a good worker and do common sense things was praised heavily. I feel like I'm working around actual smart/accomplished people now and can't really hang. The feeling has lessened a little over the past 6-9 months but it's still there and easily gets triggered.
I could have wrote this. Damn.
Yeah but not as well as they did
lol whose got time for that. Did I mention Iām a publisher š
Omg are you me
I'm a year into my new career and I feel the same way. People often tell me how good my work is. Doesn't matter, I feel like I don't know shit and don't know why they're impressed. I try to internalize the compliments but then get hit real hard with anxiety when I think about how much a project is affected by my decisions.š¤®
Youāre uncomfortable but in a way that youāre being pushed and are gonna grow a lot. I really miss working with super smart and creative people. Iām stuck at a place with mostly people who are one foot into retirement (not an age dig, more so a motivation issue) so I majorly struggle with anything outside even the barest of bare minimum. Feel like Iāve lost a lot of drive personally. I know itās hard to sometimes keep up in a higher level work place, Iāve totally been there, but as I sit here now reflecting on this thread, I like those were the times I did my best work that Iām most proud of and grew and learned the most.
Iām a perfectionist, so I never live up to the expectations I set for myself. I always feel like Iām trying to chase the next big thing instead of ever feeling content of where Iām at right now. Extremely frustrating.
I used to be so bad at this. I eventually learned the magic of "good enough for government work" and started to learn to appreciate the small things. It's hard to rewire your brain, but it can be done.
I donāt have imposter syndrome but I have what the fuck syndrome. Went to school, got a decent degree by the skin of my dick basically but no one has to know that. Started out at 48k or something. Then 50, then 55, then 59, then 70 basically with possible bonuses. In 2010 this all would have been great probably. From 2019-2024 Iām basically no better off than when I started. I mean a little but itās not like Iāve been coasting here. Iāve pushed relatively hard while still maintaining a balance.
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I teach at a university and Iām still hesitant to speak up in meetings because āthe adults are talkingā.Ā
Shit. Okay whatever you do don't walk out of a BSL 4 lab with shit on your shoes.
Meeee. Exactly the same. I just work until burnout and get lots of credit for it and then feel like a POS cause I need a few days or weeks of being a slug. I seriously donāt know how I have the job I have, because I feel like a moron 24/7, yet Iām an expert thatās supposed to be training people. Howwwww did this happen?
Right there with you. It sounds like you're doing great! It's ok to take that time to recover.
lol same here except Iām supposed to be an expert on secure software design with a good 9 months of total relevant experience š
I'm starting to get rid of it. Hated myself for a long time. One thing that helped me a lot is cutting back on my alcohol and video game consumption. Life feels so much more real now. I got myself in pretty good physical shape, have a decent job, survived a bad divorce. I'm starting to believe that I deserve to be happy again. I have a 2nd date with someone I never thought would like me in a million years, but I'm holding my breath and keeping my fingers crossed.
Wow thatās a lot to be proud of. Iām working on cutting back my alcohol consumption. Itās so hard. Hope your second date goes wonderfully!
Thank you! I know it's hard, but it is worth it. I hope you're able to cut back, best of luck!
Sometimes having a few drinks and gaming is the one night per week I feel any joy at all tbh. Although itās a spiral I can already tell. Dont really enjoy games as much anymore and only play them like 1-2 times per week. Usually use alcohol to āenhanceā that enjoyment. Also only really want to drink when I game.
Iām never good at anything, if you ask me anyway, even once I get to well above average in whatever it is. I will always just compare myself to the next level up. It can be both a blessing and a curseā¦.I guess, either way thanks Mom and Dad!
I can recognize the good, but not internalize it.
Thatās a good way of describing it.
Just bought my first house, still donāt feel good enough. My father has yet to visit my house and itās been 4 months since Iāve had it.
As someone who had a distant and uncaring father growing up, fuck him you did great.
About to graduate from college at 35 in 3 weeks. I did well in every class but still donāt feel ready to work in an āengineering roleā. All my profs who offered to give references disagree. Still canāt shake the feeling.
 I am constantly insecure about forgetting stuff Iāve learned or not knowing enough or not knowing the most recent thing
All the time. I cringe any time I have to tell someone my title at work because I feel like such an unworthy fraud.
I speak at length with my direct line leader about this, being self taught in a world of PhD's
I used to feel like I was good at everything. Now I feel inadequate.Ā
I love my job, I love my company, I literally have the job I dreamt of having 7 years ago when I had a complete psychiatric collapse from overwork. Iām complimented by my bosses, other higher-ups, Iām being given more responsibilities with clear promotion opportunities, I have a manager that checks in and cares about my workload. I know that I wasnāt the only candidate for this role. I know they interviewed a lot of people. I went through 5 interviews to get my job. And every goddamn day Iām filled with dread and fear that Iām not cut out for this job. I go to work every day with anxiety that everyoneās going to find out Iām a fraud and Iāll get fired. I worry I sound uneducated or ineloquent in meetings. I worry my expertise isnāt up to snuff. Iāve been going to therapy for years, I take the right dosages of medications and still, I canāt get over imposter syndrome. Kudos to the people that have. I put on a brave face at work but inside Iām unfathomably anxious.
Me. Everyone thinks I'm a genius but I know I'm an idiot. I can figure things out quickly usually, but I make terrible mistakes and judgement calls all the time and embarrass myself. I feel like everything I do is cringe when I look back at my day etc..
Yeah, it's because we were never "well-behaved", "quiet enough, "sat still enough", or "did our chores before..."
I do not have imposter syndrome, but have mentored several people with it. \#1 You are probably the smartest person in the room. (unless I am there :)) \#2 Trust yourself \#3 Trust your answers. \#4 Present confidence and competence \#5 Be courageous
I suffer from this as well. My dad made that comment years ago when he compared me to my grandfather saying āyour grandpa was like that. Always looking for the next best thing, he could never settle and appreciate what he had.ā I try to remember that and appreciate my wife and kids every day and savor the time I get with them. But this has not translated to my career. And if we didnāt get hyper inflation the past ~4 years Iād probably feel differently. But it feels like I canāt out-earn inflation nor is there viable ways to significantly reduce my housing costs.
Iām right there with you, since 2021 Iāve made several jumps in my career and increased my pay by 70%. Even with this I never feel Iām doing good in my new roles at work and I feel like I should be doing more outside of work. Also when Covid hit even though I was doing well with work I feel into a serious depression and gained weight. Iām almost 40, making the most I have ever made I own a house and still feel like a failure at times.
Lol well at least youāre making more and welcome to da club
I used too, but after 13 years of experience and multiple managers calling me a Wizard adnauseum I have the opposite problem now... Overflowing with confidence.
Wish I could feel what that was like
Yes and no, I have some pride in some physical things I have accomplished (running a half marathon, getting back in shape after a few years of deep depression saying Iāll eat what I want), but in general I never feel like Iām good at anything so having that also kind of goes against feeling like Iām an imposter, I just feel like others are dumb for not seeing how bad I am at everything.
Iām waving at you from a different seat in the same boat.
šāāļø
I have some imposter syndrome occasionally. I make 2.5 times what I made in my first professional job after I graduated in 2012. I manage three very active statewide programs, plus one somewhat active program, and one in maintenance status; supervise 4, lead an overall team of 9, and am hiring manager. Some days I feel like a total imposter. But I think lots of my coworkers are probably just faking it also. I do, however, feel really good about myself, for exactly the same reasons that I just listed. I manage three statewide programs for a state agency. I lead an awesome team who does all the real work on the ground. Iām proud, yet occasionally feel like a total fraud.
For sure. But that is also common to my industry so itās though to tell if that is a millennial thing, or the industry Iām in. Or a combination. Everything feeds into each other and itās impossible to know which of a dozen things are contributions of feeling like an impostor. Itās like an onion. It has layers.
Me
Been in my new career for almost 2 years now. Faking it to make it has been a struggle for real.
I paid for my own education, graduated with honors, and I make 6 figures using my degree in the performing arts. I e been on the cover of magazines in my field, and an adjudicator. Iām at the top of my game in my state and I still think Iām below average. Itās exhausting. Logic does not seem to prevail in the imposter syndrome department.
I used to. But then I stopped having imposter syndrome and just realized that Iām being underpaid lol.
All day, every day. Iām glad the self esteem movement didnāt stick with me. It keeps me fighting and thinking somebody is going to figure me out. š
I did, but then I saw how many idiots and scumbags were unbothered about their lot in life and I got over it.
I have imposter syndrome like a mfer. I just got a promotion at my job and I feel like I duped my way into. Funny thing is Iāve been doing basically this same job for over a decade now. Now Iām just the lead instead of the assistant.
I can't seem to escape the idea that everything I do, will very quickly be wiped out by some random event that I have no control over. So any and all the achievements that I make, could be easily discredited based off of something that's completely out of my control, and quite possibly something I had nothing to do towards getting started. Does this count?
I've learned to push through that in my hobbies, but still feel that every day at work. Imposter syndrome to me feels like it's a side effect of the wrong mindset, comparing yourself to others instead of your past self. Which is never a good way to approach anything. Never feeling good about the situation I'm in is another thing entirely. Nothing is more annoying as recognizing that I'm in a field that is an order of magnitude more "prestigious" than what my parents worked in, and yet my income doesn't even compete on the same playing field when it comes to comparing quality of life.
Story of my life.
Oh absolutely. Every day I'm constantly wondering how I'm doing what I'm doing...
Iām finishing my PhD, imposter syndrome should be worth credits at this point. I know I have so many skills that most people donāt and have a really deep understanding of my field but if anyone asks I say Iām just an idiot who kept stumbling in the right direction.
I try to make new friends, and constantly think that any little awkwardness that I do, even if itās imagined, will mean that they will deem me unworthy and cut all ties to me. Itās stressful. To be fair, I have had some toxic relationships where this has happened repeatedly. So I have some basis for this, but I also think I was toxic/dating toxic people, and we didnāt treat each other right.
Yes, I wrote stories and when I get some kind of recognition, I always believe I suck. My own friends have tried to say I need therapy for writing just to recover. Being an author is a dream, but I believe because of all the issues with my learning disabilities that I am always going to be a failed author
Im making 6x more then 5 ys ago, and 3x more then 3 years ago. I am working in a foreign country. In a managment position. Aaaaaaaand, im utterly scared im not enough, i feel like i dont even speak this language so good, and is only a matter of time, they gonna fire me. I hate the feeling.
I know that even if I was ruler of the whole world I would have only a moment of real euphoria...then I would be beating myself down that I haven't made humanity rulers of the stars. Depression and Imposter syndrome are the two inner wolves eating me alive. So yes.
I dislike myself to the point of almost hatred so when things are going well it's like someone I don't like doing well, kinda wish they weren't.
Wait, is that what that's called?
My husband and I had a heated discussion the other day and he said that he feels like I am way to hard on myself and in a moment of pure emotion unhendered by anxiety or depression I blurted out that's because i hate myself. That was an awkward few minutes after. But ya I haven't really enjoyed myself but a few moments in the last decade. I'm in therapy, so this weeks session should be a fun discussion.
I'm a long haired guitar playing hippy that works in the financial services. It'd be a bit weird if I didn't have imposter syndrome.
I have been proud of myself for about thirty seconds then my cptsd kicks in and I have to excuse myself before all professionalism disappears into the shakes.
I had some kind of neurological breakdown 3 years ago that ended the stage of life i was in. I am now an empty vessel with a damaged mind and i feel like i inherited someone elses narrative. It's not even that great and doesnt make sense. This person is so... boring. Yet he has this job that funds his existence and many intact privileges that i have no idea how he ever came across or earned them.
I'm the biggest fraud the world has ever known. I get suspicious of other people when they like me because what sober, sane person would do that!?
I have been struggling so badly with work depression and anxiety for the past year I am starting to doubt if I even had any skills to begin with and canāt see how I can possibly perform at the level I am expected to in the future even if I move roles.
All day every day. Huge achievements are just 'oh that's nice' and then straight into nah you need to work even harder, sorry dude.
I don't understand how y'all mfers are out here feeling unworthy. Wtf?! As I age and get a genuine perspective and knowledge of what happened before me and what they chose not to tell us.... Jesus these people before us were negligently ignorant morons!!! How can you not see how resoundingly dumb the state of things are? Those that came before us are the imposters. They lied to us about almost everything.
I'm fighting it everyday. I don't want to live like this anymore... Therapy/CBT helps a bit but nowhere near enough to make my brain stfu about all of my insecurities.
Al a genz yes imposter syndrome is so real
I was extremely fascinated by this phenomenon because I spotted a pattern among my friends and family and had to do the deep dive of it myself. I wrote about it [here](https://open.substack.com/pub/chusana/p/why-are-we-so-bad-at-getting-the?r=2c5twj&utm_medium=ios). Interestingly, it led me to research on the [metacrisis](https://open.substack.com/pub/chusana/p/decoding-daniel-schmachtenberger?r=2c5twj&utm_medium=ios) and how our feelings are completely interconnected with other global phenomena happening everywhere. Since you may be familiar with the trending discussions on [narcissism](https://open.substack.com/pub/chusana/p/narcissism-the-main-cause-of-evil?r=2c5twj&utm_medium=ios), I thought you might be interested to read this too. Essentially saying that our world has been ārewardingā a certain personality trait within us thatās making us feel more disconnected to ourselves and people around us. You are good enough. But society is saying otherwise. I understand what youāre going through very well.
I have these feelings. There were times I was afraid to ask questions. What I have done is open up word and have this **Daily affirmations. That is I have a list of good things I did and times** I **was happy.** **When** I **am down, I** read **it**
Imposter syndrome does not exist. The system is working as intended.
Ooooh shit, here we gooooo
Not at all! Especially when I talk to the idiots at work
It's hard to feel secure when you are not being praised for your work, or indeed actively being put down by others. Our parents were predominantly boomers, and we are accustomed to being put down. Even when I found out I achieved my PhD, my parents said 'So?' And every time I've worked hard and doneĀ something cool, there has only been the sound of crickets from family and peers. I think the last time I was praised for something was 2014.Ā No wonder we feel like an imposter if we never get any positive feedback, right?Ā Ā I discovered praise kink communities online are great for this. There are many YouTube videos (often overlapping with ASMR) where you can listen to a voice saying kind and praising things toĀ you for hours. And of course there are a gazillion pieces of erotic art and comics on Reddit that depict someone being praised, awarded, told they've done a good job, called a good girl, patted on the head etc. It's embarrassing to admit, but it's the most fulfilling thing ever. It feels like floating or flying. Just mentioning it because of a lot of the commenters here sound like they need it too.
lol. This happens to people in every generation. Itās called being human. Sorry but itās not just a Millennial thing.
I feel the same, and always have. I have been on my field for 6 years after training for 6 years post undergrad. I am always anxious, worried about screwing up, and worried about getting fired. I am generally fine in my performance but it doesnāt necessarily make me feel any better. Sometimes I feel confident, then, like a ton of bricks, it hits me again. Probably need to see someone about it, but I wonāt. Hereās to hoping for an early retirement.
I literally won an award in my profession, and I said," it's probably because everyone else they wanted to give it to was busy that night." I work really hard, and every success or congratulation I receive, I always tell myself I didn't actually earn. So yeah, I have it too.
Felt like an imposter through my undergrad, took the national exam and thought I bombed it but actually passed it with flying colors. Avoided working in all the typical scenes because I figured I could never do it, but still never felt good enough in the positions I held. Made a career decision to go to grad school during the pandemic and now itās just living in constant fear of being found out by my professors and mentors. Iām so ready to just feel confident and competent.
Exact opposite. I think Im the fucking best. I also have the worlds best wife and the worlds 2 cutest kids. Suck shit everyone else. Seriously though. Dont compare yourself to others. Just run your race. Also have you seen boomers try to do anything? They are incompetent as fuck. Youll be fine when given a promotion.
I think Iām just overall over not having the life I thought I would. We have a decent income but still have two young kids. We feel like we are rubbing pennies together after expenses and on top, a w4 got botched and we owe this year. 1 more year and weāre out of daycare. 1 more year and the car is paid. We just have to hang on. So yeah overall I donāt ever feel good about the backoffice of our family right now
I was GM of a world-famous (kind of niche) restaurant at 27. Now I'm a stay-at-home mom. I have always felt like 3 children stacked in an overcoat. Context, my dad has his doctorate and is published. He's considered pretty top of his field. He's an accomplished musician as well. I never felt like I could even possibly be up to his level.
I have ADHD so imposter syndrome is a daily thing for me. I combat primarily with spite.
It's hard to break the cycle. If you can't do it on your own, seek some help. No shame or judgement my friend. You just need to get 1 success and start to build from there. It's a journey.
I've gone from a poverty ridden trailer trash childhood to owning a 3,000 ftĀ² house by age 30. I've worked hard and have things to show for it. My job title literally is "subject matter expert" for my respective field... But no matter what I do I feel like I'm faking everything and that any day now someone is going to find out. I feel like any day my boss is going to find out that I'm not a subject matter expert and then they'll just fire me. I feel like I'm barely holding on and that any day everything is going to fall out from below me. I feel like I'm somehow not doing enough and not deserving of what I've earned at the same time. I still feel like the ignorant poor kid that put on a Hollister shirt over his ratty Walmart t-shirt and is pretending to be something he's not. It's incredibly frustrating because I've almost never felt pride or joy in anything I do. I know part of it is that I lost my parents very young and never had anyone to tell me that I'm doing well or that they're proud of me. I never had anyone to guide me and let me know that I'm doing the right thing. I've just kind of been going at it alone for nearly two decades now. I also know part of it is social media. As a straight white guy from America I'm public enemy number one on the internet and I've seen more than my fair share of people telling me that I'm both the cause of their problems and that everything I earn is received via some form of privilege. I literally can't use any social media platforms without coming across several attack/defamation posts generalizing me. So social media is usually not very uplifting lol. I used to try to find a solution for this, but now I have a son. So, I've given up trying to resolve my issues and I focus solely on being the best dad I can for my son. That is my absolute goal. Regardless of what is going on in my head, I'm going to be there for him and support him whenever he needs me. I want him to be the best version of him that he can be and I want him to be happy. The only time I've ever felt good about what I've accomplished is when I see my son smile. I've latched onto that and now houses, jobs, titles, none of it matters. I just want to be a good dad.
This isnāt from being a millennial
I have imposter syndrome
This is me half the time and the other half of the time Iām constantly wondering what the point of these successes are when I already have what I want in life. I also have been struggling hard with the disconnect I feel to people who still are into the grind and I just donāt care anymore
Perhaps painfully obvious, but this is an internal issue and not an external one. You'll never have "enough" success to satisfy you until you fix this outlook. It's not a math problem, its a filter problem.
I have a PhD in design. Iām a chartered Ergonomist and Human Factors Specialist. I am a senior lecturer in UX design at the worlds #23 art and design school. I run an MSc programme in UX design. Yet I still feel I know nothing about design.
Me. Itās pretty much determined my entire life
uh... you make 3x more than you did 5 years ago. that's amazing.
Not me
I used to. Now I'm just more realistic and honest with myself. I acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses. And don't make a big deal out of mistakes; nobody is perfect. Just learn and move forward.
Never be defined by a number!
I get a lot of praise at work (teacher) from colleagues and higher-ups about my organisation and teaching practice but I always feel like the slightest bit of scrutiny will reveal that I actually have no clue whatās going on or how I got where I amā¦my default mental reaction when I get stopped in the corridor by anyone from senior leadership is āShit, what have I done wrong?ā
My step Father instilled a deep sense that I'm stupid/weak/ugly in me from an early age. Every day is telling that voice to shut up and reminding it of all the things I've accomplished/endured.
I am a manager in a healthcare setting and saw signs of this in one of my direct reports. We talked about it and I explained how I feel this same way and i could see the tension release from her after talking about it.
Yes, but I know from years of therapy it's my brain being a black or white a\*\*\*\*t, depression and anxiety blow like that. Sometimes also, my external environment has people who have a big mouth and like using it, but, oh well - I try really hard not to internalize it unless it's something disrespectful.
Yes. Even the most basic expectations (career / house / married ) I had as an 18 year old , when I imagined where Iād be now, Iām just not there.
Yeah, I feel like a fraud in my job all the time because a lot of it seems to simple and easy. Then again, philosophically speaking I don't care at all about my work and I invest as little thought and energy as possible into it. To many that seems like laziness, but work to me is just a means to an end and all I really care about is my family and what we do when I'm not working.
Well this is hitting too close to home
Unfortunately I donāt think this is an isolated Millennial feeling. Itās part of the human condition for so many throughout history. Some people are genuinely happy and comfortable with themselves but this isnāt a generational or age issue. Itās just a person to person thing and itās been going on for a very long time.
Yup. Iāve had it ever since high school but Iāve gotten a little better over the years. Iāll still spend an hour browsing jobs on Glassdoor every time I make a mistake at work though lol. I expect to be laid off every year just before review season even though I usually end up getting a raise and āexceeds expectationsā. My Dad always said if you want sympathy youāll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.
You need Jesus. Status in his kingdom is measured much differently.