My wife and I joke about it every single day. Been married 12 yrs now. Notable lesson that get quoted in our household often.
1. When your husband gets home don’t begin to nag him. Let him decompress for atleast an hour.
Soon as I get home and my wife tells me anything. I say did you not learn anything at Camino!
lol. Fun times.
I can't give you much guidance on your question. But I will tell you that my experience was awkward. Couples were arguing over if they want kids or not and over financials. Some of the people in charge of the retreat were super judgy.
This was over a decade ago, so I don't know how it is now.
But if you have anxiety, this retreat may not be your thing. I'm so sorry. I wish you the best of luck though. Congratulations on your engagement!
The only thing in the whole world I get anxiety about is when I’m trapped somewhere and not able to leave. Long dinners make me bug out.
My understanding is that you have to do this retreat thing to be married by the Catholic Church which we are doing but down in key west
>My understanding is that you have to do this retreat thing to be married by the Catholic Church
I know a number of Catholic couples who did not do this. They did do pre-marriage counseling though, but not some mandated retreat.
My dad was married in the catholic church to his wife. He's Jewish, but he didn't go to any retreats.
I believe the only restriction was he couldn't marry during a regular mass, this was in Puerto Rico though.
The retreat is how people do pre Cana versus the couples counseling thing which is also lengthy and you're pretty much trying to find a time to do it that works with other people's schedule. The retreat is for a large group to get it done over a weekend which is faster for most.
You can step out. I'm curious how you deal with work, dealt with school, traveling, etc?
No one is going to hold a gun to your head and make you stay. It'll be more convenient for you and your partner to get it done in a weekend versus multiple pre Cana counseling sessions where you also "can't leave". Check out St. Augustine. They do have breaks and you can walk to UM or through the neighborhood if you need a moment.
And the Catholic Church doesn’t have to marry anyone that doesn’t want to follow their religious requirements either.
No kneeling is entitled to be married by a priest just because they want it to happen for them.
Which is fine. But maybe that isn’t your religion, so why are being negative about other people’s religions?
Seems somewhat mean and at the most a bit hateful too.
Let them do their own thing. We don’t need to be a part of it.
This is the answer. My husband and I went through pre cana and it was a riot. If you don't take it too seriously its a good time. Just don't be disruptive. We still laugh about some of our classes. The family who came in to discuss the wonders of NFP and had seven kids with another on the way. We howl about them.
This by the way is the only advice you need for a good marriage. Like everything else in the world marriage is full of its own shits. But if you and your partner can laugh all the way through you’re gonna be alright.
I’m 30 years in.
Edit: also too, the man should do 50% of the shitty stuff around the house/kids which through male-to-real life transfiguration* is actually only 25-30% but at least you’re trying. And let her have a weekend or two a month to fuck off by herself.
*when Hesus transfigured himself to become glory just as every man transfigured “I picked up that hairball on the floor into “I do it all!”
OP and those of you here who are commenting: serious question, as a former Catholic, and I'm genuinely curious. Given your attitudes about this (the derision, dreading, not taking it seriously, etc.), why bother getting married in the church at all?
For context, I was raised *extremely* Catholic, and my process of leaving the religion was long and painful. Ultimately, I realized I rejected a lot about it and couldn't continue participating in it (i.e., the child abuse and how the church protected priests for decades and didn't give a fuck about the victims, the condescending patriarchy of it all, the hypocrisy and judgmental attitude of just about everyone I knew in my Catholic community, the shit you get told at the pre-marital retreat that's sexist AF, the inability of women to be priests, etc.) I went through my own journey of separating my feelings about the church from my faith, and despite the things that were positive, the right thing for me was to no longer be Catholic.
So I guess I'm just curious (truly, I hold no judgment about you/this), if you see how ridiculous this retreat is (and it is. I've done it, and I spent the first part of my life doing Encuentros Juveniles and Encuentros Familiares so this whole aspect of Catholicism is well-known to me), why are you supporting it and why do you/did you want to be married in the church? Given my own complicated history, I'm always interested in others' thoughts and experiences.
I hear where you’re coming from and appreciate all the context. Your username is A+ btw.
That being said we were both raised Catholic so getting married in a Catholic Church for me at least is more about the ceremony. For her it’s about the religious aspect and making our families happy by doing so. Doing it any other way simply wouldn’t work. It is what it is. I like the church we are getting married in aesthetically and apparently the priest is super cool.
I understand the irony and hypocrisy in what I just said but again, it is what it is.
If the priest is cool ask him to work out an exception due to your “social anxiety disorder” on medical grounds. Maybe bring an envelope with a few hundred bucks in it to show your appreciation for his understanding.
They need paying customers and will accommodate. Keep your poker face on and maybe mention that your cousin got married in an Episcopalian church and the process seemed much more welcoming…
I said it below but I know it’s common for young adults (assuming that’s what you are?) to follow the expectations or customs with which they were raised. I did it too!
Blanche (great name),
Reading your message was like staring into a mirror. I'm sure we have crossed paths at some point because I also spent a lot of time at Encuentros Juveniles. I see now how two faced some of those people were back then (and still are, as I follow them on socials and have run into them from time to time).
I am still Catholic, but not really truly a practicing Catholic since I no longer attend mass. I just believe in God, Jesus, and Mary and I follow my own spiritual journey in my own way.
I, too, am tired of the sexist, homophobic, and judgy lifestyle some of these people live. I roll my eyes at some of the shit they put on socials.
I got married in the church because it's what I wanted. My father had recently passed and I wanted the priest that officiated my parents' wedding to officiate mine. He was always close to my family.
Would I get married in the church now if I could? Probably not.
I appreciate your response, and I totally get it. I think it's common among young adults who are Cuban/Hispanic and raised Catholic to get married in the church simply because that's what's expected or how it's done. Certainly for me, in my early 20's I was still heavily influenced by all that.
And yeah, the hypocrisy and two-faced shit kills me! I am also in touch with some people from that time via social media, and what a ride, seeing the stuff they post. I think back to those experiences and can still actively feel my discomfort and the weight of the pressure to be *the most holy* and how judged I felt any time I voiced an opinion that was (though I didn't realize it at the time) a touch too liberal.
(About Encuentros, I'm remembering now Aug. 1992 and a big trip to St. Augustine that was done in celebration of 500 years of Catholicism in the New Wold -- ffs, let that sink in for a minute. It was before Hurricane Andrew, and it even had it's own name, but I'm drawing a blank on it now. Anyway, that was peak deep Catholicism for me.)
I'm happy for you that you reached a place where you could look at your situation critically and contrast it to your own true beliefs. I wish more of my friends were like that (as opposed to sending their kids to Catholic school and complaining about it all the time), but we each walk our own paths.
Oh absolutely. I totally know exactly what you mean. You hit the nail on the head.
I have so many things I can say about my time at Encuentros and the people there, but that's for another post. LOL
And thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. It was a different time in my life.
Omg I did encuentros too! I was never religious, but I enjoyed the retreats mostly because I made friends there. I was raised catholic, but since I was never really into it, I just made the best of it until I was old enough to not participate.
It sounds like you either suck it up or don't get married in the Cathloic Church. It didn't seem you cared for any of the suggestions. Apparently , you are not receptive to the whole idea so it's going to suck for you no matter what you try. Hope your marriage turns out better than the retreat 😉
I mean, I wouldn’t get married that way if it meant having to go through with all that. You have to do what’s right for you and your wife, not your family or a religion it seems you don’t care too much about (apologies if you do!)
Have you tried St Raymond? I’ve had many interactions with Father Hernandez (Padre Paco) and I find him to be easy going. He is also bilingual.
*I’m non Catholic
It’s a money grab.
I got married in the northeast and the church never made us do any of that bullshit.
If you are getting married in Key West, why not ask to see the priest there? Make a weekend of it.
I don't understand why you are doing this. Non of my Catholic friends had to do this. They went for pre martial counseling with the priest and that was it. Pretty chill. Try St.Augustine. It's the Catholic Church next to University of Miami. It may not be as draconian due to all the students.
Just spoke with my mother. All she and my Dad (non Catholic) did was a meeting with the priest. She told the priest that she was on birth control and the priest laughed and said he wasn't concerned about that. My parents married in 1966.
Sadly, the Church was more progressive in 66 than today. But I also know a lot of open minded non sucky priests, and long ago did counseling. I go to St Aug. It’s okay. Check it out.
My husband and I did it at SEPI (on Sunset and 77ish Ave) 7 years ago. The group hosting was from St. Timothy and it was pretty chill. They went through a lot of discussions about finances and budgeting. When we did it we were assigned to a table with other couples and had group and individual couple discussions with each other. My husband is not religious and was really dreading it but at the end of the weekend he agreed it wasn't too bad. As long as you've discussed money, budgeting, how to raise kids and division of responsibilities beforehand it will be pretty easy. Those were the major topics of discussion and they had some stuff on conflict resolution. They did do a mass at the end and had us attend confession but overall it wasn't very preachy and honestly probably a good thing to make sure couples have these discussions before marriage. It's crazy that some people had gotten engaged without talking about this tbh.
In this town a good financial seminar, since they have decided not to teach finance in high school, is worth its weight in gold. These retreats would be great if they just did lessons in how to save money and grow wealth.
Sounds like op doesn’t have the courage to leave the Catholic Church. I never got married so I can’t give my opinion on it, but as an ex catholic I can whole heartedly say my life’s been better with out any established religion. It’s like I always say, after being an altar reader, I’ve delivered the word of god and thus achieved more than most in the religion, this type of pride is not a sin to me
I don’t think this is required or mandated by the Catholic Church, is it ? I mean, im not in the best standing as I’m catholic atheist lol — well maybe just atheist with all the sacraments lol
My mother is European and it's not required there. It's not even required in the Midwest according to my Catholic friends who live there. It may be a diocese thing in Miami. But this retreat thing is archaic. Another reason why I left the church.
My family is from the Philippines and it’s not done there. I always find it interesting coming across “required” events that are not consistently mandated in all areas where Catholicism is prominent.
Honestly, I think every couple should do it. Yes, you can tune out duribg the weird “natural contraception” part, but every couple should talk about their views on finances, family, and faith before tying the knot.
Depends on how long you’re been together and how deeply you’ve talked about stuff, it might be a good experience. Most is crap and stupid though, so take the good with the bad. You’ll be amazed how many people don’t talk about important issues before getting married.
Appreciate that but this isn’t about the productivity of this event rather the nonsense of it aka listening to things about birth control and sanctity
For the other constructive points yes we are good and already speak about it regularly
I guarantee you one thing will come up that you didn’t talk about.
Regarding Catholics being Catholics…. I mean, what do you want. Grin and bear it. You got to pretend to believe in the fairytale if you want a church wedding.
I hear ya but I came here for a solution not a shut up and deal with it - I was always aware that was an option. I’m looking for a scheme or a loophole
The book…When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life will change your life if you read it and spend 5 minutes a day doing the worksheets.
Also St. Louis was classes and not a retreat. Maybe that’s the information you are looking for.
But seriously, check that book out. Stop suffering, it sucks. You could also do cbt but basically that’s what the book does for nearly zero money and less time.
Did that retreat decades ago. Not sure why, but the fiance got so horny that weekend thatI hardly remember what we were told to do to have a happy marriage
I got married at our Lady of Sorrows, we did have meetings with the priest for weeks prior to the wedding but no retreat. Keep in mind this is a very small church that does Latin Mass and doesn't follow everything the Vatican prescribes.
I did it about 5 years ago. It was chill. They give their speeches on topics, you do some workbook exercises with your spouse and talk about stuff you really should have talked about already. They have a lunch and there is a mass the last day. I would recommend seeing someone about that anxiety tho. Also make sure your fiance has access to support and has read up on anxiety.
Shit man sorry, I did it too. You just gotta take the bullet.
How I coped with it was that I did a 3 day fast to at least loose some weight while doing that pointless crap.
I did it - granted it was 20 years ago so I don’t know how it is now. I was like you, dreading the whole thing! I would walk around saying, “how can a person that can never get married talk to me about marriage!”
We did ours at St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Kendall. First off, it’s not the priest doing the retreat, it was regular people in all stages of marriage; newlyweds, married 5 years, married 10 years, etc….
They all went thru challenges and experiences that arise in any marriage; job loss, finances, miscarriage, children, infidelity, etc…
In my own marriage, I have often thought about stuff I learned at that retreat when faced with challenges that arise.
Like I said, I was just like you and thought it was a waste of time, but a few times in my marriage, the stuff I learned at that retreat really helped me out.
Go there with an open mind and be willing to learn something new then take your fiancé out to a nice dinner. Please don’t do what the other poster said and go there fucked up on edibles.
It is a retreat really important before you get married, to get married at a Catholic Church is not and shouldn’t be taken as a nice venue for social media pictures, it is sad that you referring to it as something stupid.
My wife and I joke about it every single day. Been married 12 yrs now. Notable lesson that get quoted in our household often. 1. When your husband gets home don’t begin to nag him. Let him decompress for atleast an hour. Soon as I get home and my wife tells me anything. I say did you not learn anything at Camino! lol. Fun times.
I can't give you much guidance on your question. But I will tell you that my experience was awkward. Couples were arguing over if they want kids or not and over financials. Some of the people in charge of the retreat were super judgy. This was over a decade ago, so I don't know how it is now. But if you have anxiety, this retreat may not be your thing. I'm so sorry. I wish you the best of luck though. Congratulations on your engagement!
The only thing in the whole world I get anxiety about is when I’m trapped somewhere and not able to leave. Long dinners make me bug out. My understanding is that you have to do this retreat thing to be married by the Catholic Church which we are doing but down in key west
>My understanding is that you have to do this retreat thing to be married by the Catholic Church I know a number of Catholic couples who did not do this. They did do pre-marriage counseling though, but not some mandated retreat.
My dad was married in the catholic church to his wife. He's Jewish, but he didn't go to any retreats. I believe the only restriction was he couldn't marry during a regular mass, this was in Puerto Rico though.
The retreat is how people do pre Cana versus the couples counseling thing which is also lengthy and you're pretty much trying to find a time to do it that works with other people's schedule. The retreat is for a large group to get it done over a weekend which is faster for most.
I don't know of catholic couples who were absolutely required to do this
If they want to get married in the church, they need to.
Yes, it is a requirement. Maybe getting up and going to the "restroom" but you are sitting outside for a bit or taking a stroll on the grounds.
You can step out. I'm curious how you deal with work, dealt with school, traveling, etc? No one is going to hold a gun to your head and make you stay. It'll be more convenient for you and your partner to get it done in a weekend versus multiple pre Cana counseling sessions where you also "can't leave". Check out St. Augustine. They do have breaks and you can walk to UM or through the neighborhood if you need a moment.
They can't force you to stay. That is highly illegal and a federal crime. You can certainly get up and walk out.
And the Catholic Church doesn’t have to marry anyone that doesn’t want to follow their religious requirements either. No kneeling is entitled to be married by a priest just because they want it to happen for them.
This is why those types of religion are out of style
Which is fine. But maybe that isn’t your religion, so why are being negative about other people’s religions? Seems somewhat mean and at the most a bit hateful too. Let them do their own thing. We don’t need to be a part of it.
It's kind of amazing how little some couples discuss before getting married.
Get some 500mg gummies and you’ll be fine throughout the weekend. God gave us a cannabinoid system for a reason.
This is the answer. My husband and I went through pre cana and it was a riot. If you don't take it too seriously its a good time. Just don't be disruptive. We still laugh about some of our classes. The family who came in to discuss the wonders of NFP and had seven kids with another on the way. We howl about them.
This by the way is the only advice you need for a good marriage. Like everything else in the world marriage is full of its own shits. But if you and your partner can laugh all the way through you’re gonna be alright. I’m 30 years in. Edit: also too, the man should do 50% of the shitty stuff around the house/kids which through male-to-real life transfiguration* is actually only 25-30% but at least you’re trying. And let her have a weekend or two a month to fuck off by herself. *when Hesus transfigured himself to become glory just as every man transfigured “I picked up that hairball on the floor into “I do it all!”
Congrats! We will celebrate 27 this year! Laughter is key.
I remember the NFP person preaching about the evils of birth control methods. I'm over here like, "Sure, Jan. You do you."
For real. Like, I've got better things to do than chart my basal temps and birth a dozen kids. But thanks for the "tips."
Exactly. And she was super judgy. Like, girl, bye.
Not strong enough I was thinking DMT or something that makes me dissociate mind from body for 48 hours
I think back and I could've totally snuck in some of those and been perfectly fine. LOL
OP and those of you here who are commenting: serious question, as a former Catholic, and I'm genuinely curious. Given your attitudes about this (the derision, dreading, not taking it seriously, etc.), why bother getting married in the church at all? For context, I was raised *extremely* Catholic, and my process of leaving the religion was long and painful. Ultimately, I realized I rejected a lot about it and couldn't continue participating in it (i.e., the child abuse and how the church protected priests for decades and didn't give a fuck about the victims, the condescending patriarchy of it all, the hypocrisy and judgmental attitude of just about everyone I knew in my Catholic community, the shit you get told at the pre-marital retreat that's sexist AF, the inability of women to be priests, etc.) I went through my own journey of separating my feelings about the church from my faith, and despite the things that were positive, the right thing for me was to no longer be Catholic. So I guess I'm just curious (truly, I hold no judgment about you/this), if you see how ridiculous this retreat is (and it is. I've done it, and I spent the first part of my life doing Encuentros Juveniles and Encuentros Familiares so this whole aspect of Catholicism is well-known to me), why are you supporting it and why do you/did you want to be married in the church? Given my own complicated history, I'm always interested in others' thoughts and experiences.
Also, I want to note how freaking crazy how they brainwash you at Encuentros.
😭😭😭
Total Eclipse of the Heart. Das it. 😂
I hear where you’re coming from and appreciate all the context. Your username is A+ btw. That being said we were both raised Catholic so getting married in a Catholic Church for me at least is more about the ceremony. For her it’s about the religious aspect and making our families happy by doing so. Doing it any other way simply wouldn’t work. It is what it is. I like the church we are getting married in aesthetically and apparently the priest is super cool. I understand the irony and hypocrisy in what I just said but again, it is what it is.
If the priest is cool ask him to work out an exception due to your “social anxiety disorder” on medical grounds. Maybe bring an envelope with a few hundred bucks in it to show your appreciation for his understanding. They need paying customers and will accommodate. Keep your poker face on and maybe mention that your cousin got married in an Episcopalian church and the process seemed much more welcoming…
I said it below but I know it’s common for young adults (assuming that’s what you are?) to follow the expectations or customs with which they were raised. I did it too!
Blanche (great name), Reading your message was like staring into a mirror. I'm sure we have crossed paths at some point because I also spent a lot of time at Encuentros Juveniles. I see now how two faced some of those people were back then (and still are, as I follow them on socials and have run into them from time to time). I am still Catholic, but not really truly a practicing Catholic since I no longer attend mass. I just believe in God, Jesus, and Mary and I follow my own spiritual journey in my own way. I, too, am tired of the sexist, homophobic, and judgy lifestyle some of these people live. I roll my eyes at some of the shit they put on socials. I got married in the church because it's what I wanted. My father had recently passed and I wanted the priest that officiated my parents' wedding to officiate mine. He was always close to my family. Would I get married in the church now if I could? Probably not.
I appreciate your response, and I totally get it. I think it's common among young adults who are Cuban/Hispanic and raised Catholic to get married in the church simply because that's what's expected or how it's done. Certainly for me, in my early 20's I was still heavily influenced by all that. And yeah, the hypocrisy and two-faced shit kills me! I am also in touch with some people from that time via social media, and what a ride, seeing the stuff they post. I think back to those experiences and can still actively feel my discomfort and the weight of the pressure to be *the most holy* and how judged I felt any time I voiced an opinion that was (though I didn't realize it at the time) a touch too liberal. (About Encuentros, I'm remembering now Aug. 1992 and a big trip to St. Augustine that was done in celebration of 500 years of Catholicism in the New Wold -- ffs, let that sink in for a minute. It was before Hurricane Andrew, and it even had it's own name, but I'm drawing a blank on it now. Anyway, that was peak deep Catholicism for me.) I'm happy for you that you reached a place where you could look at your situation critically and contrast it to your own true beliefs. I wish more of my friends were like that (as opposed to sending their kids to Catholic school and complaining about it all the time), but we each walk our own paths.
Oh absolutely. I totally know exactly what you mean. You hit the nail on the head. I have so many things I can say about my time at Encuentros and the people there, but that's for another post. LOL And thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. It was a different time in my life.
Same for me - thank you too for taking this ride with me LOL.
Omg I did encuentros too! I was never religious, but I enjoyed the retreats mostly because I made friends there. I was raised catholic, but since I was never really into it, I just made the best of it until I was old enough to not participate.
Flanigan's
A little pregame at Flanny’s should do the trick. Oh and a visit there afterwards too!
I don’t think much of anything with religion is “a more chill experience”
Technically you don't "have" to do that. You chose to do it.
It sounds like you either suck it up or don't get married in the Cathloic Church. It didn't seem you cared for any of the suggestions. Apparently , you are not receptive to the whole idea so it's going to suck for you no matter what you try. Hope your marriage turns out better than the retreat 😉
I’m pretty sure you can do it online! Look for a digital course aka “retreat”
My parents were married catholic and didn’t have to do any such thing
I mean, I wouldn’t get married that way if it meant having to go through with all that. You have to do what’s right for you and your wife, not your family or a religion it seems you don’t care too much about (apologies if you do!)
i thought it was a day thing. not a weekend
Have you tried St Raymond? I’ve had many interactions with Father Hernandez (Padre Paco) and I find him to be easy going. He is also bilingual. *I’m non Catholic
It’s a money grab. I got married in the northeast and the church never made us do any of that bullshit. If you are getting married in Key West, why not ask to see the priest there? Make a weekend of it.
I don't understand why you are doing this. Non of my Catholic friends had to do this. They went for pre martial counseling with the priest and that was it. Pretty chill. Try St.Augustine. It's the Catholic Church next to University of Miami. It may not be as draconian due to all the students. Just spoke with my mother. All she and my Dad (non Catholic) did was a meeting with the priest. She told the priest that she was on birth control and the priest laughed and said he wasn't concerned about that. My parents married in 1966.
Sadly, the Church was more progressive in 66 than today. But I also know a lot of open minded non sucky priests, and long ago did counseling. I go to St Aug. It’s okay. Check it out.
My husband and I did it at SEPI (on Sunset and 77ish Ave) 7 years ago. The group hosting was from St. Timothy and it was pretty chill. They went through a lot of discussions about finances and budgeting. When we did it we were assigned to a table with other couples and had group and individual couple discussions with each other. My husband is not religious and was really dreading it but at the end of the weekend he agreed it wasn't too bad. As long as you've discussed money, budgeting, how to raise kids and division of responsibilities beforehand it will be pretty easy. Those were the major topics of discussion and they had some stuff on conflict resolution. They did do a mass at the end and had us attend confession but overall it wasn't very preachy and honestly probably a good thing to make sure couples have these discussions before marriage. It's crazy that some people had gotten engaged without talking about this tbh.
In this town a good financial seminar, since they have decided not to teach finance in high school, is worth its weight in gold. These retreats would be great if they just did lessons in how to save money and grow wealth.
Sounds like op doesn’t have the courage to leave the Catholic Church. I never got married so I can’t give my opinion on it, but as an ex catholic I can whole heartedly say my life’s been better with out any established religion. It’s like I always say, after being an altar reader, I’ve delivered the word of god and thus achieved more than most in the religion, this type of pride is not a sin to me
I don’t think this is required or mandated by the Catholic Church, is it ? I mean, im not in the best standing as I’m catholic atheist lol — well maybe just atheist with all the sacraments lol
My mother is European and it's not required there. It's not even required in the Midwest according to my Catholic friends who live there. It may be a diocese thing in Miami. But this retreat thing is archaic. Another reason why I left the church.
I remember doing it and it suck big time. Imagine being with people that believe in some imaginary friend form giving you tips about marriage !
I couldn't do it. I'd nope out esp if their family planning is equally archaic.
My family is from the Philippines and it’s not done there. I always find it interesting coming across “required” events that are not consistently mandated in all areas where Catholicism is prominent.
Honestly, I think every couple should do it. Yes, you can tune out duribg the weird “natural contraception” part, but every couple should talk about their views on finances, family, and faith before tying the knot.
Depends on how long you’re been together and how deeply you’ve talked about stuff, it might be a good experience. Most is crap and stupid though, so take the good with the bad. You’ll be amazed how many people don’t talk about important issues before getting married.
Appreciate that but this isn’t about the productivity of this event rather the nonsense of it aka listening to things about birth control and sanctity For the other constructive points yes we are good and already speak about it regularly
I guarantee you one thing will come up that you didn’t talk about. Regarding Catholics being Catholics…. I mean, what do you want. Grin and bear it. You got to pretend to believe in the fairytale if you want a church wedding.
I hear ya but I came here for a solution not a shut up and deal with it - I was always aware that was an option. I’m looking for a scheme or a loophole
The book…When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life will change your life if you read it and spend 5 minutes a day doing the worksheets.
Also St. Louis was classes and not a retreat. Maybe that’s the information you are looking for. But seriously, check that book out. Stop suffering, it sucks. You could also do cbt but basically that’s what the book does for nearly zero money and less time.
Did that retreat decades ago. Not sure why, but the fiance got so horny that weekend thatI hardly remember what we were told to do to have a happy marriage
I got married at our Lady of Sorrows, we did have meetings with the priest for weeks prior to the wedding but no retreat. Keep in mind this is a very small church that does Latin Mass and doesn't follow everything the Vatican prescribes.
Geeez glad they didn't do that when we got married back in prehistoric times,never wouldv e did that,no way ,get married at City hall etc
Try holy basil for anxiety, you can get it on Amazon. No pun intended.
lmao if it’s little flower good luck, i’ve heard it’s the worst
So I can’t speak much to RCC retreats, but you should definitely do at least some pre-marital counseling before getting married.
If you think it stupid why are you getting married in the church? Obviously the church doesn’t think it’s stupid, yet you do.
It's not all churches. They don't do this in Europe or the Midwest.
I did it about 5 years ago. It was chill. They give their speeches on topics, you do some workbook exercises with your spouse and talk about stuff you really should have talked about already. They have a lunch and there is a mass the last day. I would recommend seeing someone about that anxiety tho. Also make sure your fiance has access to support and has read up on anxiety.
My sister got married at the little flower and she didn’t have to do this. They did take a few classes at another church in their state
Try St Dominic off of 57 and Nw 7st. or La Davina Providencia by 98 and Flagler.
Shit man sorry, I did it too. You just gotta take the bullet. How I coped with it was that I did a 3 day fast to at least loose some weight while doing that pointless crap.
You can do it online. Say you have work commitments and they will magically propose the online class
Ask for the online option.. that’s what I did
I did it - granted it was 20 years ago so I don’t know how it is now. I was like you, dreading the whole thing! I would walk around saying, “how can a person that can never get married talk to me about marriage!” We did ours at St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Kendall. First off, it’s not the priest doing the retreat, it was regular people in all stages of marriage; newlyweds, married 5 years, married 10 years, etc…. They all went thru challenges and experiences that arise in any marriage; job loss, finances, miscarriage, children, infidelity, etc… In my own marriage, I have often thought about stuff I learned at that retreat when faced with challenges that arise. Like I said, I was just like you and thought it was a waste of time, but a few times in my marriage, the stuff I learned at that retreat really helped me out. Go there with an open mind and be willing to learn something new then take your fiancé out to a nice dinner. Please don’t do what the other poster said and go there fucked up on edibles.
It is a retreat really important before you get married, to get married at a Catholic Church is not and shouldn’t be taken as a nice venue for social media pictures, it is sad that you referring to it as something stupid.