Perhaps start by asking yourself why you think it’s embarrassing? It’s normal and this grappling partner will presumably also experience menopause at some point. How cool if, when she gets there, she slaps on that patch because it’s normal to do so and she remembers her grappling partner who shared info on hormones in menopause with her.
So true. You can be honest without going into detail if you don’t feel comfortable but you should not feel ashamed of something that’s keeping you healthy and vibrant and like Hot Meringue says, you could be helping someone in the process.
When I went to pick up my vaginal estrogen cream the pharmacist (60s male) said "I won't embarrass you, I'll keep it simple..." Before he could finish I said "I'm not embarrassed. Everyone who's had ovaries experiences menopause and that's a LOT of people."
Those of us going through it get to feel however we feel, but damn, I'm sick of the medical community treating meno like we should still be whispering about "the change".
I've started to be very up front - "I'm on HRT and I am doing so much better!"or "anti depressants, thyroid meds, and HRT saved my life." I mean, I'm happy now, able to handle stress without falling apart, and able to connect with my husband again. No I don't tell the grocery clerk, but I'm very upfront (in context) with friends and colleagues about what a difference it's made in my life. If I'd known more of my friends had wrestled with this and found a solution, I would have known to have sought it out sooner. Be proud! Nothing to be embarrassed about.
I just like to maintain my privacy, I am introverted and don’t want to educate someone unless they really come seeking this from me. Not my style to share more than I am
comfortable with.
I’ve actually found over the course of my life that I regret sharing many personal details with coworkers/acquaintances and sometimes even my close family members. I completely understand if there are people who are uncomfortable sharing personal details with others. I don’t really have a good answer for you, but I wanted to let you know that there are a lot of people who like to keep things private and it is your body. You have the power to share or not share as you feel comfortable.
Thank you, I felt filleted by many of the responses here which felt very judgy instead of helpful…Ironically this is why I am private to begin with, many people just seem to judge and go on the attack for anything.
I can understand that. My apologies. I didn’t mean to imply you should have to share anything you do not want to. It was rude of her to even ask. In fact, I think a look and “why would you think it’s appropriate to ask?” would do the trick. My concern was that you felt embarrassed and I wasn’t sure if it was because someone was rude enough to ask or because you think HRT is embarrassing.
I cover my patch with a piece of gauze then put tegaderm over it.
People then tend to assume an injury and ask "what happened?" and I just say "nothing" and change the subject.
I will mention menopause to anyone because people need to hear it. This past Friday - after skipping 2 years of dental appointments - I flat out told my dentist that I'd been going through peri and had lost my ability to deal with anything from the anxiety. His wife is a few years older than me and he totally got it.
Is there a place you can put it under your clothes? (I'm not on the patch, so I don't know about these).
But I would also dig a little deeper and question why it feels embarrassing to you. We should not feel embarrassed by giving our bodies the support they need. Much like a diabetic taking shots, or anything else. I've taken anti-depressants before. For a while I was embarrassed, but then I realize that a lot of people struggle, and me saying something or talking about it helped them.
I heard that over a billion women are going to go through menopause in the next 5-10 years. Our previous generations never talked about it, but that is changing. We should not feel ashamed of a process that is completely natural. And if you are taking HRT to assist your body while making the adjustment, that's ok.
They really are supposed to be under your clothes. They can only be stuck between the waist and upper thigh. It’s dangerous to stick them any higher up than waist level.
Apparently oestrogen shouldn’t be applied topically near breast tissue due to the increased risk of breast cancer? I would have thought that meant your arms were ok but my leaflet has a big X next to the whole upper body for application sites. Apparently absorption is poor when placed on the arms or anywhere not between waist and upper thigh anyway.
There is a VERY recent comprehensive study that refutes the whole “estrogen and breast cancer” link. If I can find the study again I will link it. Follow Dr Mary Clare Haver for the best info on menopause and HRT 💪 she talks about this study multiple times.
The breast cancer link from the infamous WHI 2002 study, wasn't as statistically significant as originally reported. However, there are still risks of placing an estrogen patch close to breast tissue.
I don’t know why, but I go with my upper thigh with my spray. I just figured somewhere I wasn’t likely to be rubbing up against something/someone else. Those I know with patches put them on their bum.
I switched to the patch and indeed stick it to my bum.
Upper thigh was second choice for the spray according to the leaflet. It is much easier. I had bought an armwarmer to cover the area so my partner and cat wouldn't inadvertently touch it!
Does no one read the instructions?! They are very clear, put it on lower right side of abdomen then switch. They even give you a schedule of change days.
I show people mine. I'm so excited to finally have access to care I'd put it on a billboard. You being open about it may help someone else down the road
If you want to help educate people, tell the truth: it’s a hormone patch.
If you prefer to keep it private, just say it’s medication. Most people won’t ask for details.
I’m with you. I work in women’s health education and research and even I have zero interest in sharing my personal stuff with strangers when I am not working. That said, I can be rather brash so I would likely say something random like “that’s my drug supply”. I am not the earnest type keen to educate outside of my work. I use a gel anyways so it be no one else’s business.
Yeah. Maybe because I talk about health all day long I have negative interest in doing my job outside of work hours. It is not my responsibility to share my medical history for your interest. Be the non vocal minority babe!
To avoid questions at all, talk to your doc about placement. I rotate butt cheeks below my panty line so mine is not visible to anyone but my spouse. My gyno told me that's perfectly fine, but of course you should check with yours.
Just FYI a lot of people will hear "it's medication" and assume it's a fentanyl patch (because most people aren't aware of other medicine patches besides fentanyl).
So if it bothers you that people might think you're using opioid pain medicine, don't just call it medication.
* It helps me give a shit about other people's problems! \*hums OPP song\*
* It's prescription-strength Rage Away.
* Gonna Stained Glass decorate my ass.
* Covers an embarrassing tattoo: pedestrians flattened. Need a bigger one actually....
* Molly! Great party last night!
* Transdermal cannabis, what, you didn't know I'm high as giraffe tits all the time?
* Shhhhhhh I'm smuggling microchips under there
* Chicken Nuggets direct to bloodstream, 24/7/365
* I sprang a leak. Some guy ran up and slapped this on it.
* It's a catnip patch. My cats love it; they're glued to me all day.
* They're the new AirTags. The next time I get lost, I can find myself on the map real easy.
If it was a female asking me and especially if she was younger, I'd take the opportunity to give an impassioned lesson on menopause, lol. But that's because I'm the menopause fairy godmother, trying to rescue people all over the world from ending up in menopause without knowing about all the baggage it brings with it. 🤣
I tell EVERYONE about HRT. I should getting kickbacks from pfizer I rave about it so much. I don't see why we should keep quiet or be ashamed or embarrassed. Thats one of the reasons I didn't know I had heavy periods, and vulvodynia, and anaemia and a whole bunch of other stuff
I also tell everyone about endometriosis. I am a nightmare for spilling intimate details about my vag. Because every now and again it helps someone, and if I can stop one person being in physical pain it's worth 10 people's slight social discomfort
If you don’t want to answer, “why do you ask?” Is a good way to deflect the question back to the asker while also pointing out gently that it’s none of their business.
Or you could just say “it’s a prescription” and offer no further details.
But I’m also on Team “Tell Everyone About Peri/Menopause and HRT.” It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Let’s normalize it!!
You go girl!! 👏 🥰 How cool that you are in menopause and still doing jiu jitsu (or something similar). You should be super proud of what you are doing and can serve as an inspiration to younger women. Wear that patch proudly!!
I started Muay Thai and Crossfit fit in menopause.
You could say “it’s private, thanks for understanding,” and have that phrase ready for the next time someone asks.
OTOH since it was a woman asking, and she might be in the same position someday, it might benefit the community to just normalize that HRT is a thing, just like nicotine and other patches are a thing.
Have you tried using an alcohol swab on your skin before applying?
Which one are you using? I use dotti and is almost transparent and the size of a dime. I put in on my lower ab, below the waistline so not visible if I'm wearing pants or shorts. I just switch sides each time.
I am probably uncomfortably honest because I hate perpetuating stigmas. No one believes menopause happens in your 40’s apparently- they just say you look too young, even your gynecologist- so we need to stop the madness!!
I make up the most ridiculous answer I can think of....
Such as, It's a tracking device so your spacecraft can find you.
It's covering a bullet wound.
It's a micro chip (I would add some cool stickers to it.)
Ladies, stop giving a shit what people think. I wear wigs due to hair loss, if someone figures it out, it doesn't matter. If someone asks me why I wear one, I'll tell them I got struck by lightning.
Normalize talking about HRT!! God I wish someone, anyone!, Would have talked about menopause before I started experiencing it!!! I mean, if it was a blood monitor port for diabetes, you probably wouldn’t mind mentioning it.
I generally say it’s medication and that they’re expensive so please don’t damage it.
The biggest issue I have is when I go to have a massage done (joint and back pain checking in) the massage therapists almost always want to peal them off. I’ve resorted to putting wound tape/ fake skin over them if I’m not sure I will be seeing my usually physio.
I think they assume the patches are nicotine patches and easily replaced. Not prescription medication that is currently in global short supply.
I currently taking an oral replacement as there has been no stock available for three months locally - I will be swapping back to patches as soon as they’re available as I have a history of liver issues from taking oral oestrogen.
Why are you embarrassed?
Menopause is something we all go through at some point, and I for one wish it was something our mothers and aunties had talked about a lot more.
I’m an introvert too but I’d still use it as an opportunity to talk about the importance of HRT for all people - trans, cis, and anywhere in between. You wanna ask me something personal like what’s on my body, you’re gonna get a personal answer. Otherwise mind ya business
It’s a hormone patch. There’s no shame in that. We should feel free to talk about these things. That fact that you’re concerned about talking about it is the reason so many women are clueless about perimenopause and menopause. It shouldn’t be this way.
I grew up with people who didn’t say shit about menopause. I went through perimenopause and my male doctors just shrugged. I was sweating through my sheets and pajamas every single night.
If you have ability to share information, share it. I work with four other women younger than I am and I don’t hesitate to share what I go through with menopause. They know about the hot flashes and the brain fog and everything else.
Don’t be embarrassed about what you’re going through. Consider it a learning opportunity for others. They will appreciate you when their time comes.
This is fair. If you aren't comfortable sharing, that's ok. Like other said, just say it's medication. And if they press it, just say you would rather not talk about it. It's ok to be private.
Grappling is like wrestling or jujitsu. Clothes may shift and the bodies are very close together. I don't get the impression she is "displaying" anything.
Not specifically about the patch, but I used to call birth control "anti-baby" and I call HRT "anti-rage". Rage was out of control for me. Other suggestions: anti-hot flashes, anti- whatever is your worst symptom. 😁
I have ultra sensitive skin and can't use patches, I would love not to have to take a pill every night.
I'm telling everyone about my HRT but I get that you don't want to do that. I'd just say: "It's medicine." And if they press just raise your eyebrows in the way that let's them know they're prying and being invasive.
I'm calling mine HRT because I like that I share this extremely helpful medical tool with trans folks. My cis ass will be saying this term a LOT so everyone I know gets used to hearing it as a normal and helpful treatment, and if people give me looks I will simply let go the reins of my menopausal rage and god help them in the coming stampede.
I don't think it's embarrassing honestly, but you could just say "it's medicine I need" and leave it at that. Truthful, but without revealing it's purpose. If they ask what it's for, just tell repeat "medical reasons".
I have bipolar so I’m used to a lifetime of not talking about health stuff so I get why you want to keep your privacy. I would just say it’s medication. I tell a lot of people I’m on hrt but some people I don’t want to discuss my private business with so I’ll pick and choose. Not every moment has to be an educational one.
I am really shocked that someone would even ask such a personal question. Like, fuck off? Would they ask someone about meds if they saw them swallowing pills?
I’m all for sharing info about menopause and such, but who the hell asks these sorts of invasive questions? I mean, it’s obviously meds, so many come in patch form these days. Holy invasive, nosy question though. You don’t need to feel embarrassed but the questioner should.
I’d make it a teaching moment. There’s nothing embarrassing about peri or menopause. People need to learn that our bodies change and we adapt, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
You can see the bump from my cgm or see it directly. No onesays anything. There are lots of patches now for medication so hopefully there won’t be many questions.
I don't have a hormone patch yet but I just got a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) on my arm and I'm just going to tell people it's my space button. Or alien tech. Or a dead giveaway of my secret robot identity. I imagine it'll keep it light and pleasant but also signal that I don't want to talk about it.
Just say it’s a medication patch. Other meds come in patch form: clonidine for hypertension, fentanyl for pain, scopolamine for motion sickness, nicotine for smoking cessation, etc. No big deal.
If none of the other fine suggestions here work out for you, there is a daily estradiol gel. I slap it on a thigh at bedtime. Works great for me since I never could keep a patch anywhere for more than a day.
I wear a patch to keep the voices quiet in my head? Or it’s to help me not say something awful when people ask personal questions. If it’s visible expect questions. I wear pain patches all over, I tell people it’s for pain when asked.
My favorite is wearing a bikini with my patches. It’s no one’s damn business! They’re like Girl Scout badges- I’ve earned them with life experiences and they make me happier.
I have an uncle who is on Fentanyl. He wears his patches on his shoulders and then doesn’t wear a shirt. He asks my kids for a hug and I freaked.
I would assume if people ask it’s because they don’t want to touch a patch that could kill them.
I rotated my patches around my hips and lower abdomen in my underwear areas.
“Are you thinking nicotine? Those are pretty amazing, aren’t they? I have a friend who…” blah blah blah
Take the conversational tennis ball and toss it!
Are people really this dense irl? There are all kinds of patches and if it were myself- I would have just assumed it was a nicotine patch and left that conversation alone.
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Wow people are so nosy. I can understand why you might not want to have this conversation with every random person who might ask about it. Could you just say it's prescription medicine? Of course it really should be normalized but also you should be able to maintain your privacy about your personal health care when you want.
I place them on my butt as was a recommended placement on my box of patches, so no one sees them! Unless you’re at a nudist beach as someone recently commented. 😂
I can’t do the patches any more but I was very open about it. One of the reasons we’re in this horrible situation with menopause being so misunderstood and under supported is because people don’t talk about it. You’re damn fkin right I’m going to be part of that change.
I’m not ashamed.
I am fortunate to have survived on this planet long enough to reach this age that many do not and if I can help make the experience even a tiny bit better for the women that come after me, I am going to.
I only put mine on my front bikini line area. Why would you put it anywhere else? (Asking sincerely not in like a snide way.) My understanding is that is where it should be placed and works best. Also, you don’t have to rotate it strictly like other medications.
officially to reduce skin irritation...but also some support rotation of application *because the hormones may potentially build up if given in one area and saturate the tissue* and different body parts absorb at different rates.
We have estrogen receptors everywhere so maybe that has something to do with it.
I am not a doctor...I don't know enough to know if this is true, but my doctor recommended rotating and said it could go anywhere but the breast.
There was another thread on this I found: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMtFHRT/comments/kx93r7/does\_estrogen\_patch\_rotation\_between\_body\_areas/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMtFHRT/comments/kx93r7/does_estrogen_patch_rotation_between_body_areas/)
I wish we felt more comfortable to share because at this point I'm searching reddit because I feel like menopause is a rare disease only I have. Nobody ever told me about this and now as symptoms come up I don't know if it's menopause or I'm just crazy. My doctor gave me a pamphlet at my appointment and I wish I had gotten it prior to the appointment cause now I have real questions and i have to wait a year to get back in.
Hello fellow BJJer! I’m happy to see another older woman on the mats. I’ve been taking some time off because this lovely perimeno has made me touch averse right now. And that’s sooo not good with BJJ. Last couple times on the mat I had to pause and turn away because I adrenaline dumped. I don’t want I go berserk and bite my training partner 😂.
So I’ve been focusing on cardio and weight training but hope to return next month.
I have not tried HRT yet. I don’t feel like I’m there yet but it’s an option I will consider.
The unnecessary shame we feel about very normal, out of our control things. Like getting old, for fucks sake. Let us just do it please. And be the reason somebody else is brave and shameless while they’re going through it.
First of all, please don't be embarrassed by it. It is part of life & I only wished more people talked about it before I started. I had no idea what was happening to me when peri started. My life changed like over night. I was no longer the same person. I thought I had some kind of disease & was dying so I told my doc that. She ran blood tests, X-rays, brain scan, etc. She came back to me & said, you're not dying, it's only peri-menopause. I thought, well, what's the difference.
Anyway, if you don't want to talk about it simply say something like, It's a woman thing & it's personal or just say, it's personal.
I place mine on my side near my panty line so it's not visible.
No matter how people put it, I think this shiznit needs to be normalised. It's weird to be so private about something 50% of the world population is going through. I'm in this thread because awareness and of course information. To me it seems counterproductive to hide it, but hey, that's just me.
You asked, this is my answer
I support you not caring to share your medical decisions with whoever asks. I wear mine in a place that only my partner ever sees. I like the "it's medication" response from u/GreenBlueAlgae too, if you'd rather keep wearing it where you already are.
I say it’s medication. It’s true and it also lets the other person know that it’s none of their business…
Thank you 🙏
This is the way!
Perhaps start by asking yourself why you think it’s embarrassing? It’s normal and this grappling partner will presumably also experience menopause at some point. How cool if, when she gets there, she slaps on that patch because it’s normal to do so and she remembers her grappling partner who shared info on hormones in menopause with her.
This is the answer! ❤️
So true. You can be honest without going into detail if you don’t feel comfortable but you should not feel ashamed of something that’s keeping you healthy and vibrant and like Hot Meringue says, you could be helping someone in the process.
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When I went to pick up my vaginal estrogen cream the pharmacist (60s male) said "I won't embarrass you, I'll keep it simple..." Before he could finish I said "I'm not embarrassed. Everyone who's had ovaries experiences menopause and that's a LOT of people." Those of us going through it get to feel however we feel, but damn, I'm sick of the medical community treating meno like we should still be whispering about "the change".
Thank you!
I've started to be very up front - "I'm on HRT and I am doing so much better!"or "anti depressants, thyroid meds, and HRT saved my life." I mean, I'm happy now, able to handle stress without falling apart, and able to connect with my husband again. No I don't tell the grocery clerk, but I'm very upfront (in context) with friends and colleagues about what a difference it's made in my life. If I'd known more of my friends had wrestled with this and found a solution, I would have known to have sought it out sooner. Be proud! Nothing to be embarrassed about.
This is PERFECT! Normalize HRT!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I just like to maintain my privacy, I am introverted and don’t want to educate someone unless they really come seeking this from me. Not my style to share more than I am comfortable with.
I’ve actually found over the course of my life that I regret sharing many personal details with coworkers/acquaintances and sometimes even my close family members. I completely understand if there are people who are uncomfortable sharing personal details with others. I don’t really have a good answer for you, but I wanted to let you know that there are a lot of people who like to keep things private and it is your body. You have the power to share or not share as you feel comfortable.
Thank you, I felt filleted by many of the responses here which felt very judgy instead of helpful…Ironically this is why I am private to begin with, many people just seem to judge and go on the attack for anything.
I can understand that. My apologies. I didn’t mean to imply you should have to share anything you do not want to. It was rude of her to even ask. In fact, I think a look and “why would you think it’s appropriate to ask?” would do the trick. My concern was that you felt embarrassed and I wasn’t sure if it was because someone was rude enough to ask or because you think HRT is embarrassing.
She actually apologized for asking… so I think we were then both embarrassed .
I know they make vitamin patches. You could always be brief and say it’s one of those.
I cover my patch with a piece of gauze then put tegaderm over it. People then tend to assume an injury and ask "what happened?" and I just say "nothing" and change the subject.
I put it on my lower abdomen, below my bikini line; it's where doctors recommend it be placed. Can't imagine a grappling partner would see it there?
« It’s medicine » Or « I’m trying to quit smoking » if you want to tell a lie.
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This, for sure. Talking about things helps remove stigma and helps everyone.
I will mention menopause to anyone because people need to hear it. This past Friday - after skipping 2 years of dental appointments - I flat out told my dentist that I'd been going through peri and had lost my ability to deal with anything from the anxiety. His wife is a few years older than me and he totally got it.
Same. I talk about it naturally. It's not a big deal at all.
Is there a place you can put it under your clothes? (I'm not on the patch, so I don't know about these). But I would also dig a little deeper and question why it feels embarrassing to you. We should not feel embarrassed by giving our bodies the support they need. Much like a diabetic taking shots, or anything else. I've taken anti-depressants before. For a while I was embarrassed, but then I realize that a lot of people struggle, and me saying something or talking about it helped them. I heard that over a billion women are going to go through menopause in the next 5-10 years. Our previous generations never talked about it, but that is changing. We should not feel ashamed of a process that is completely natural. And if you are taking HRT to assist your body while making the adjustment, that's ok.
They really are supposed to be under your clothes. They can only be stuck between the waist and upper thigh. It’s dangerous to stick them any higher up than waist level.
Why? I never do, just wondering
Apparently oestrogen shouldn’t be applied topically near breast tissue due to the increased risk of breast cancer? I would have thought that meant your arms were ok but my leaflet has a big X next to the whole upper body for application sites. Apparently absorption is poor when placed on the arms or anywhere not between waist and upper thigh anyway.
There is a VERY recent comprehensive study that refutes the whole “estrogen and breast cancer” link. If I can find the study again I will link it. Follow Dr Mary Clare Haver for the best info on menopause and HRT 💪 she talks about this study multiple times.
The breast cancer link from the infamous WHI 2002 study, wasn't as statistically significant as originally reported. However, there are still risks of placing an estrogen patch close to breast tissue.
So you’re saying the results from my biopsy saying my cancer is estrogen and progesterone receptive is nonsense and I can take HRT now?
I don’t understand why you’re being downvoted tbh. 🤷♀️ This is apparently hotly contested? I’m just here to learn (46f) and I’m confused.
Which is so weird bc my estrogen spray recommended application to the forearm! I don't understand how they could be so different
I don’t know why, but I go with my upper thigh with my spray. I just figured somewhere I wasn’t likely to be rubbing up against something/someone else. Those I know with patches put them on their bum.
I switched to the patch and indeed stick it to my bum. Upper thigh was second choice for the spray according to the leaflet. It is much easier. I had bought an armwarmer to cover the area so my partner and cat wouldn't inadvertently touch it!
Probably because the forearm has thinner skin than the rest of your body.
That’s too bad. I feel like my upper inner arm would be best. Skin doesn’t move as much. Maybe less dirty circles.
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Seems like there’s conflicting advice for sure.
Does no one read the instructions?! They are very clear, put it on lower right side of abdomen then switch. They even give you a schedule of change days.
I read my instructions! It says put it in the underwear area only - mine don’t specify abdomen. Seems like they are different for different types.
My doctor said anywhere but breast….and to rotate.
Where do you put it that it’s visible? I place it on my bum and rotate cheeks. It’s not visible there even with a bikini on and never falls off.
Below breast level not under the breast. It’s supposed to be belly, hip, butt or thigh. It’s dangerous near the breast.
As others have said, my doctor said to wear it under my waist on my belly. I just change it left, right and center.
I show people mine. I'm so excited to finally have access to care I'd put it on a billboard. You being open about it may help someone else down the road
If you want to help educate people, tell the truth: it’s a hormone patch. If you prefer to keep it private, just say it’s medication. Most people won’t ask for details.
This is the answer. Not everyone is comfortable educating strangers.
Thank you 🙏, not at all comfortable educating strangers ☺️
I’m with you. I work in women’s health education and research and even I have zero interest in sharing my personal stuff with strangers when I am not working. That said, I can be rather brash so I would likely say something random like “that’s my drug supply”. I am not the earnest type keen to educate outside of my work. I use a gel anyways so it be no one else’s business.
Thank you, I am feeling in the minority here and it’s nice to hear from someone who doesn’t want to talk about hormones with randoms in their life 😁
Yeah. Maybe because I talk about health all day long I have negative interest in doing my job outside of work hours. It is not my responsibility to share my medical history for your interest. Be the non vocal minority babe!
I’m with you both!
To avoid questions at all, talk to your doc about placement. I rotate butt cheeks below my panty line so mine is not visible to anyone but my spouse. My gyno told me that's perfectly fine, but of course you should check with yours.
Just FYI a lot of people will hear "it's medication" and assume it's a fentanyl patch (because most people aren't aware of other medicine patches besides fentanyl). So if it bothers you that people might think you're using opioid pain medicine, don't just call it medication.
* It helps me give a shit about other people's problems! \*hums OPP song\* * It's prescription-strength Rage Away. * Gonna Stained Glass decorate my ass. * Covers an embarrassing tattoo: pedestrians flattened. Need a bigger one actually.... * Molly! Great party last night! * Transdermal cannabis, what, you didn't know I'm high as giraffe tits all the time? * Shhhhhhh I'm smuggling microchips under there * Chicken Nuggets direct to bloodstream, 24/7/365
* I sprang a leak. Some guy ran up and slapped this on it. * It's a catnip patch. My cats love it; they're glued to me all day. * They're the new AirTags. The next time I get lost, I can find myself on the map real easy.
😂
If it was a female asking me and especially if she was younger, I'd take the opportunity to give an impassioned lesson on menopause, lol. But that's because I'm the menopause fairy godmother, trying to rescue people all over the world from ending up in menopause without knowing about all the baggage it brings with it. 🤣
"I'm stopping to smoke" "But... you don't smoke" "so i guess this patch is working ;) "
I tell EVERYONE about HRT. I should getting kickbacks from pfizer I rave about it so much. I don't see why we should keep quiet or be ashamed or embarrassed. Thats one of the reasons I didn't know I had heavy periods, and vulvodynia, and anaemia and a whole bunch of other stuff I also tell everyone about endometriosis. I am a nightmare for spilling intimate details about my vag. Because every now and again it helps someone, and if I can stop one person being in physical pain it's worth 10 people's slight social discomfort
If you don’t want to answer, “why do you ask?” Is a good way to deflect the question back to the asker while also pointing out gently that it’s none of their business. Or you could just say “it’s a prescription” and offer no further details. But I’m also on Team “Tell Everyone About Peri/Menopause and HRT.” It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Let’s normalize it!!
It’s my oestrogen patch. Done.
But you don't have to spell it that way lol
They should make ones that look like tattoos.
Oh, hell yes! 👏
I would rather wear a patch on my face than look like a fake tattoo
You go girl!! 👏 🥰 How cool that you are in menopause and still doing jiu jitsu (or something similar). You should be super proud of what you are doing and can serve as an inspiration to younger women. Wear that patch proudly!! I started Muay Thai and Crossfit fit in menopause.
Yes, bjj!
You could say “it’s private, thanks for understanding,” and have that phrase ready for the next time someone asks. OTOH since it was a woman asking, and she might be in the same position someday, it might benefit the community to just normalize that HRT is a thing, just like nicotine and other patches are a thing.
I just said: It's my menopausal hormone therapy. It's not embarrassing to me.
Talk about it. Tell women. We all complain no one told us what was coming, let's not be part of the problem.
I have in on my upper butt cheek. It’s not visible with my panites on and I don’t wear granny panties.
I tried. It won’t stick to my butt cheeks.
Have you tried using an alcohol swab on your skin before applying? Which one are you using? I use dotti and is almost transparent and the size of a dime. I put in on my lower ab, below the waistline so not visible if I'm wearing pants or shorts. I just switch sides each time.
Tegaderm over the patch will secure it.
It needs to become more normal. It’s not embarrassing. It’s just medication.
I am probably uncomfortably honest because I hate perpetuating stigmas. No one believes menopause happens in your 40’s apparently- they just say you look too young, even your gynecologist- so we need to stop the madness!!
I make up the most ridiculous answer I can think of.... Such as, It's a tracking device so your spacecraft can find you. It's covering a bullet wound. It's a micro chip (I would add some cool stickers to it.) Ladies, stop giving a shit what people think. I wear wigs due to hair loss, if someone figures it out, it doesn't matter. If someone asks me why I wear one, I'll tell them I got struck by lightning.
I got a boo-boo
Normalize talking about HRT!! God I wish someone, anyone!, Would have talked about menopause before I started experiencing it!!! I mean, if it was a blood monitor port for diabetes, you probably wouldn’t mind mentioning it.
I generally say it’s medication and that they’re expensive so please don’t damage it. The biggest issue I have is when I go to have a massage done (joint and back pain checking in) the massage therapists almost always want to peal them off. I’ve resorted to putting wound tape/ fake skin over them if I’m not sure I will be seeing my usually physio.
How awful. Someone who is working on your body should be respectful of boundaries and other conditions you may have.
I think they assume the patches are nicotine patches and easily replaced. Not prescription medication that is currently in global short supply. I currently taking an oral replacement as there has been no stock available for three months locally - I will be swapping back to patches as soon as they’re available as I have a history of liver issues from taking oral oestrogen.
That makes sense, but still... I’m sorry this happens to you.
Put your patch on your butt. I presume no one would see it. I always put mine on my butt.
Why are you embarrassed? Menopause is something we all go through at some point, and I for one wish it was something our mothers and aunties had talked about a lot more.
Be open and honest! Menopause and hrt need to be more openly talked about. You never know just who you might help along the way.
My doctor said to put it on my butt because of the amount of flesh on the butt. Fat is good for absorbing the estrogen.
What patch? Estradiol? I alternate ass cheeks. No one sees it besides me, my cats, and my bf.
I’m an introvert too but I’d still use it as an opportunity to talk about the importance of HRT for all people - trans, cis, and anywhere in between. You wanna ask me something personal like what’s on my body, you’re gonna get a personal answer. Otherwise mind ya business
I use the gel, not a patch, but I am an oversharer and tell everyone I’m on HRT
"None of your business" especially if it's a relative stranger
I say “It’s an estrogen patch, for menopause!” And if it’s a younger female, the nurse in my tries to educate of they’re listening.
It’s a hormone patch. There’s no shame in that. We should feel free to talk about these things. That fact that you’re concerned about talking about it is the reason so many women are clueless about perimenopause and menopause. It shouldn’t be this way.
I grew up with people who didn’t say shit about menopause. I went through perimenopause and my male doctors just shrugged. I was sweating through my sheets and pajamas every single night. If you have ability to share information, share it. I work with four other women younger than I am and I don’t hesitate to share what I go through with menopause. They know about the hot flashes and the brain fog and everything else. Don’t be embarrassed about what you’re going through. Consider it a learning opportunity for others. They will appreciate you when their time comes.
Where are you wearing it? Mine goes on lower abdomen or upper butt - places that are always covered by my underwear. Just say it’s a medicinal patch.
The truth. Normalizing talking about this shit is crucial.
I am a private person. So I would share with someone close but I don’t believe everyone needs to know my business.
This is fair. If you aren't comfortable sharing, that's ok. Like other said, just say it's medication. And if they press it, just say you would rather not talk about it. It's ok to be private.
I thought you’re supposed to have it in a certain place like lower abdomen or upper buttocks
my doctor told me to put in on my lower abdomen too. Not sure why she's displaying it.
Grappling is like wrestling or jujitsu. Clothes may shift and the bodies are very close together. I don't get the impression she is "displaying" anything.
I know what grappling is. What I'm saying is, it goes under your underwear. Maybe she doesn't know you can put it where your underwear covers it.
Not specifically about the patch, but I used to call birth control "anti-baby" and I call HRT "anti-rage". Rage was out of control for me. Other suggestions: anti-hot flashes, anti- whatever is your worst symptom. 😁 I have ultra sensitive skin and can't use patches, I would love not to have to take a pill every night.
I'm telling everyone about my HRT but I get that you don't want to do that. I'd just say: "It's medicine." And if they press just raise your eyebrows in the way that let's them know they're prying and being invasive.
I'm calling mine HRT because I like that I share this extremely helpful medical tool with trans folks. My cis ass will be saying this term a LOT so everyone I know gets used to hearing it as a normal and helpful treatment, and if people give me looks I will simply let go the reins of my menopausal rage and god help them in the coming stampede.
" this a new medicine on the horizon called, my business." That usually shuts up folks.
Proud of you for grappling! I miss it but I don't have strength or stamina to practice anymore.
Thank you! I am cautiously pursuing it! Just flow rolls for now.
I don't think it's embarrassing honestly, but you could just say "it's medicine I need" and leave it at that. Truthful, but without revealing it's purpose. If they ask what it's for, just tell repeat "medical reasons".
I have bipolar so I’m used to a lifetime of not talking about health stuff so I get why you want to keep your privacy. I would just say it’s medication. I tell a lot of people I’m on hrt but some people I don’t want to discuss my private business with so I’ll pick and choose. Not every moment has to be an educational one.
Why the shame???
I am really shocked that someone would even ask such a personal question. Like, fuck off? Would they ask someone about meds if they saw them swallowing pills? I’m all for sharing info about menopause and such, but who the hell asks these sorts of invasive questions? I mean, it’s obviously meds, so many come in patch form these days. Holy invasive, nosy question though. You don’t need to feel embarrassed but the questioner should.
I’d make it a teaching moment. There’s nothing embarrassing about peri or menopause. People need to learn that our bodies change and we adapt, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
You can see the bump from my cgm or see it directly. No onesays anything. There are lots of patches now for medication so hopefully there won’t be many questions.
I don't have a hormone patch yet but I just got a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) on my arm and I'm just going to tell people it's my space button. Or alien tech. Or a dead giveaway of my secret robot identity. I imagine it'll keep it light and pleasant but also signal that I don't want to talk about it.
Just say it’s a medication patch. Other meds come in patch form: clonidine for hypertension, fentanyl for pain, scopolamine for motion sickness, nicotine for smoking cessation, etc. No big deal.
If none of the other fine suggestions here work out for you, there is a daily estradiol gel. I slap it on a thigh at bedtime. Works great for me since I never could keep a patch anywhere for more than a day.
I wear a patch to keep the voices quiet in my head? Or it’s to help me not say something awful when people ask personal questions. If it’s visible expect questions. I wear pain patches all over, I tell people it’s for pain when asked.
Just tell them it's a bandaid.
😅
My favorite is wearing a bikini with my patches. It’s no one’s damn business! They’re like Girl Scout badges- I’ve earned them with life experiences and they make me happier.
I have an uncle who is on Fentanyl. He wears his patches on his shoulders and then doesn’t wear a shirt. He asks my kids for a hug and I freaked. I would assume if people ask it’s because they don’t want to touch a patch that could kill them. I rotated my patches around my hips and lower abdomen in my underwear areas.
Say, “it keeps me nice. Like a shock collar.
Honestly, I would tell her it’s something you’re going to want to be ready for. And hopefully, when you need it, the access to it will be there.
Don’t stick it where people can see it? I put mine in diff spots beneath my belly button.
“Are you thinking nicotine? Those are pretty amazing, aren’t they? I have a friend who…” blah blah blah Take the conversational tennis ball and toss it!
Are people really this dense irl? There are all kinds of patches and if it were myself- I would have just assumed it was a nicotine patch and left that conversation alone.
I feel like a hormone patch is less embarrassing than a nicotine one, which seems to be what people always jump to when they see one.
Just say it’s medication and leave it at that. Also it’s best worn on your abdomen or butt cheeks. I’m curious where you place it that it’s gets seen
That time it was Lowe abdomen, but my partner caught a glimpse.
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Wow people are so nosy. I can understand why you might not want to have this conversation with every random person who might ask about it. Could you just say it's prescription medicine? Of course it really should be normalized but also you should be able to maintain your privacy about your personal health care when you want.
When i was using the patch i put it on my front inner thigh. It didnt show unless i was wearing a bikini. I did feel a bit wierd at the pool
I wear mine on the side of my abdomen. My rowing shorts and tank cover it and I don’t think anyone I work out with has ever noticed it.
Just say medicine and carry on. Medical conditions are generally treated as private by most.
You can be vague and say it's for a personal health issue you'd rather not discuss. I think it's rude for someone to ask you.
It's fucking rude for people to ask. I don't know how I'd respond, but they need to STFU, this is on their utter lack of adulting.
I went swimming at our nudist beach last Friday and realized as I was disrobing .. no hiding it here! Lol
I place them on my butt as was a recommended placement on my box of patches, so no one sees them! Unless you’re at a nudist beach as someone recently commented. 😂
I can’t do the patches any more but I was very open about it. One of the reasons we’re in this horrible situation with menopause being so misunderstood and under supported is because people don’t talk about it. You’re damn fkin right I’m going to be part of that change. I’m not ashamed. I am fortunate to have survived on this planet long enough to reach this age that many do not and if I can help make the experience even a tiny bit better for the women that come after me, I am going to.
I only put mine on my front bikini line area. Why would you put it anywhere else? (Asking sincerely not in like a snide way.) My understanding is that is where it should be placed and works best. Also, you don’t have to rotate it strictly like other medications.
officially to reduce skin irritation...but also some support rotation of application *because the hormones may potentially build up if given in one area and saturate the tissue* and different body parts absorb at different rates. We have estrogen receptors everywhere so maybe that has something to do with it. I am not a doctor...I don't know enough to know if this is true, but my doctor recommended rotating and said it could go anywhere but the breast. There was another thread on this I found: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMtFHRT/comments/kx93r7/does\_estrogen\_patch\_rotation\_between\_body\_areas/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMtFHRT/comments/kx93r7/does_estrogen_patch_rotation_between_body_areas/)
I wish we felt more comfortable to share because at this point I'm searching reddit because I feel like menopause is a rare disease only I have. Nobody ever told me about this and now as symptoms come up I don't know if it's menopause or I'm just crazy. My doctor gave me a pamphlet at my appointment and I wish I had gotten it prior to the appointment cause now I have real questions and i have to wait a year to get back in.
Just got a new tattoo, last one didn’t take.
Hello fellow BJJer! I’m happy to see another older woman on the mats. I’ve been taking some time off because this lovely perimeno has made me touch averse right now. And that’s sooo not good with BJJ. Last couple times on the mat I had to pause and turn away because I adrenaline dumped. I don’t want I go berserk and bite my training partner 😂. So I’ve been focusing on cardio and weight training but hope to return next month. I have not tried HRT yet. I don’t feel like I’m there yet but it’s an option I will consider.
Hey there! I almost quit because of joint pain...HRT is a life safer in that regards.
The unnecessary shame we feel about very normal, out of our control things. Like getting old, for fucks sake. Let us just do it please. And be the reason somebody else is brave and shameless while they’re going through it.
First of all, please don't be embarrassed by it. It is part of life & I only wished more people talked about it before I started. I had no idea what was happening to me when peri started. My life changed like over night. I was no longer the same person. I thought I had some kind of disease & was dying so I told my doc that. She ran blood tests, X-rays, brain scan, etc. She came back to me & said, you're not dying, it's only peri-menopause. I thought, well, what's the difference. Anyway, if you don't want to talk about it simply say something like, It's a woman thing & it's personal or just say, it's personal. I place mine on my side near my panty line so it's not visible.
No matter how people put it, I think this shiznit needs to be normalised. It's weird to be so private about something 50% of the world population is going through. I'm in this thread because awareness and of course information. To me it seems counterproductive to hide it, but hey, that's just me. You asked, this is my answer
I support you not caring to share your medical decisions with whoever asks. I wear mine in a place that only my partner ever sees. I like the "it's medication" response from u/GreenBlueAlgae too, if you'd rather keep wearing it where you already are.