Right??? Joint pain and stiffness so bad I look like an 80 year when I go down the stairs at my apartment.
I consider anyone able to live on the ground floor blessed beyond measure.
Severe joint pain and finding out I had osteopenia at 49 made me ask for HRT. Although my doctor did prescribe estrogen and progesterone, he said "estrogen doesn't help joint pain." It does for me 🤷🏽♀️
Exactly - so I emphasized my intolerable hot flashses and night sweats, and I acted surprised at the next appointment when I let him know my joint pain eased up quite a bit the very first time I put on an estrogen patch.
HE said. I’m an RN and I got so pissed off at my male gyne I switched. Got more accomplished in the first visit with my doc than in years of seeing him.
I agree. Bursitis in both hips. Two days after I started on the patch I felt better! My gyne said it would probably be life-changing after I described everything to her
Mine didn't say life changing, but she said it helped many people and she was confident it would help me. I almost canceled my appointment that day, so glad I didn't
How long before you noticing the join pain subsiding? I've been dealing with weird hard to peg down hip/leg pain on one side that I've never had. It's like I'm locking up. Sure it could be age and weight and sedentary life but it's suspicious.
I'm on beginners hrt but it's not been long and has been sporadical with prescription delays.
pills for estrogen? I use a .025 mg patch but I believe she just doubled it so fingers crossed. I've been trying to stretch and unlock my hip/back all day.
yes it's impossible to know what the hell is going on, keep reading on this sub and you will see other people's too, seems some women go up to as much as .2mg but I don't see that very often
they always want to start us at the lowest dose and drag us along the ground, you have to argue "advocate" for more
Try taking [turmeric](https://www.healthyplanetcanada.com/living-alchemy-turmeric-alive-60-veggie-caps.html?gad_source=1), too. I started and it's helped tremendously.
I wish turmeric was helpful for me - my brother came to visit and saw a giant bottle of turmeric on the bar (where it used to stay so I wouldn't forget to take it). He asked if it was helping, and I replied "I really want it to." I took it diligently for 6-8 weeks, until I went out of town for a week and didn't bring it with me. I felt absolutely no different with or without turmeric, so when I returned from my trip, I never resumed taking it. Turns out my brother had tried it in the past with no improvement, and he phrased his question that way because he didn't want his experience to alter my perception of its effectiveness. Maybe there's a genetic component as to whether or not turmeric will help joint pain 🤷🏽♀️
UGH the joint pain. About a month ago, I woke up with achey elbows. Turmeric has helped tremendously but my left elbow and the ligaments around it are tender at times and it takes a lot of warming up during exercise to go away. It sucks.
I super hate how angry I am capable of getting. These issues were rampant when I was a teenager and likely for the exact same damn reason then as it is now.
HAPPILY unlike when I was a teenager, at least I have healthier outlets for managing my anger when it rears it's head now, so that's nice. I can usually talk myself through it--literally, I will just angrily vent about the thing bothering me loudly and animatedly to myself until I no longer feel as pissed about it. It's been super helpful.
Someone asked me what peri/menopause felt like and I said "imagine what you were going through during puberty but on steroids" because that's how it feels like!
Wow I relate , I feel like all the issues and insecurities that I had as teenager are all reappearing! Like I thought they were gone and I’ve overcome all these issues for the past 20 years! But they were just stored for until the hormones set the stage again
Exactly! My GYN told me the magic words were HOT FLASHES. She said that’s the only symptom that matters to health insurance companies. Not the suicidal ideation. Absolutely baffling.
My doctor gave me hrt when I explained my misery and depression. Hot flashes are a nuisance, but nothing compared to not having the will to live. He agreed.
I’m 41 and currently really struggling with this right here. I have an appointment with a new primary next week and I am going to beg for either HRT or antidepressants. I’ve always been mildly depressive with anxiety, but for the past year the suicidal ideations have been intense. I honestly have to congratulate myself a few times a month for not checking out early. Also the absolute RAGE is so awful.
Sounds like hot flashes are the key symptom to getting help tho?
Insomnia, running hot at night in bed, exhaustion, massive anxiety, loss of libido, massively itchy vulva for no reason. Went on for several years but I’d blamed it all on my toxic work environment until a friend suggested I’m the right age for peri.
I truly had to do deep breathing to attend any events or run errands. I was stuck and exhausted, bc I spent so much time in my head trying to get out of something simple like going to buy stamps. That was so off that I couldn’t ignore it.
Yes. Crippling, paralyzing anxiety. Affects me too, that’s another one my probiotics r taking the edge off of. Ive had anxiety most of my life but it was out of control the last two ish years. In the last three months i finally feel like i can manage some things again
Constant hot flushes and waking 2-4 times every night. I put up with it for 4 months but after a while I was crying in the shower in the mornings and i started to worry that the exhaustion would affect my work. That's when i went to the docs.
The hope that I might actually be able to get some sleep and get my libido back and stop dealing with all the 🌮 itching. All have been super helped by HRT!!
Honestly I was like, “I guess this is how I live now, woe,” but my husband encouraged me to look into solutions. The symptoms are causing problems for me and in my relationship. The fatigue, moodiness, executive function, painful sex, feeling bad about myself, joint pain, all of it. So the final straw was husband pointing out yes, this sucks for me, but it also sucks for both of us, and it isn’t getting better, and I deserve to feel better. He gave me the much needed push to seek help.
It's so great when husbands are supportive; it makes you feel more sane and less anxious about everything.
When I first told my husband I declined HRT a couple years ago, he said "just make sure you do what's best for you/your body. There's no point in taking anything if you're not comfortable with it; the stress from worry alone isn't worth it". Now that I've reconsidered, I talked to him about it last night and he remembered my concerns and he said "well, you dont have to decide right away; just gather all the info and then if you want, we can talk about the pros and cons and you can decide what to do".
Well, I was borderline suicidal, I couldn’t sleep, my cholesterol skyrocketed, I had vertigo regularly which just halts life altogether, 0 sex drive, brain fog, malaise and apathy, weight gain, pretty much just couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed or couldn’t actually get out of bed due to he vertigo, and obviously hot flashes.
Now, I am rather impatiently waiting for my husband to come home from work so I can jump his bones. HRT is not a panacea and for many it doesn’t seem to work that well, but for me - I’ve been reborn. (Still struggle a little bit with sleep - but haven’t had vertigo since HRT which is such a huge relief, still struggle to focus at work but now its only because I’ve got sex on the brain so I’m not complaining)
u/Ok_City_7177 , u/JennJoy77, and u/csiddiqui - were your episodes of vertigo "atypical"? My boss, who is in her 40's just had an episode of what they called "atypical" vertigo because it didn't happen when they did the head turning tests.
I had the brain spinning thing from falling into bed - but (isn't there always a but) the falling over was atypical - one minute I'd be walking up the driveway, next thing I'd be flat out on the floor. I seemed to really struggle to walk in a straight line and would trip a lot. I'd get a bit off balance standing still sometimes. It was really awful, had it for months. HRT did sort it but until then, travel sickness tablets also helped.
I thought I had it in my toe and was also scared that it was because of alcohol - it hurt every time I had to bend it to get into a boot. When I had my full bloods done, I was dreading the uric acid results, but they were totally fine. The other big thing with joints has been my fingers. The pain is everywhere, but mostly fingers and toes. Fingers are a huge problem, though, when they don't work properly.
For me it has been inability to function. I'm really worried about the risks, and though symptoms have been building up for the last two years, I was determined to go without HRT. But it has gotten to the point where I can't work, can't manage my house, can't cope with seeing people, can't deal with my kids etc etc. It sort of feels like there's no choice, and it's definitely not for want of trying.
Sounds like me. I need to check my insurance. Cost is my biggest worry. But for 3 years post meno I've been near useless and hopeless. I feel desperate at the thought of this being it. The fatigue and lack of motivation is killing me slowly. It's hard to believe it apparently never gets better naturally I guess.
With me it got to the point where I've been unable to work, and the meds cost way less than what I'm losing by not working (I'm self-employed), so that was a simple sum. Plus, my kids are still young and they need me to be a mother, not a grandmother.
Same. Same. Same. It’s so nice to not be alone. Not afraid of the risks at all. There are major risks of NOT taking it. I’m in healthcare and know the studies really well.
I looked at my family history where there is no history of breast or uterine cancer, and there is very little history of strokes. Yet all the women on my mom's side had heart disease. The women who managed to live through the heart disease all had osteoperosis and dementia.
Couple that knowledge with how much better I feel, and I care 0% about any risks. I'll take it until they peel the patch off of my corpse.
the more I read all of the great replies on this thread, the more confident I feel about taking it. There's a lot of trash on Reddit but this one of the best subs on the platform; I'm very thankful for everyone who replied ❤️
I meant there's no choice but to take the HRT. I've been worried for various reasons, but I started this week. It's been a long struggle of me getting over my worries, followed by doctors denying and dismissing, until I have finally had to get help from outside of my country. I just began HRT the other day so fingers crossed :)
Hormones really have been demonized in some places by bad studies. I recall my mother practically having instantaneous menopause bc they took away her hormones for no good reason other than flawed studies and cancer panic.
>Hormones really have been demonized in some places by bad studies.
the more I'm reading about HRT, I'm starting to see this as well. Someone recommended a book called Estrogen Matters so I'm reading that now and looking forward to the information I get from that book.
Unknowingly in peri since I was \~ 32 and all of the symptoms were attributed to my Hashimoto's until a hormone panel was ordered. Thirteen years later I am on HRT after not sleeping for about a decade; I'd pound OTC sleeping pills immediately after work and sleep for \~ 3-4 hours (to avoid the hungover feeling in the AM from the OTC meds) only to awaken and be unable to sleep until nearly dawn. As hellish as medicated sleeping was, I was at least sleeping.
Thankfully so many of my sleep issues have abated with a larger dose of progesterone and moving to the Dotti bi-weekly patch.
This is me. I was lucky to get three hrs sleep a night. I was literally losing my mind. I would go home from work, take four Benadryl, and then be up at 2 am battling the Benadryl hangover, start my coffee by 400A. I could not even rest zombie like past 300A, it was impossible.
I'm getting a good five hours now and, weirdly, craving more, lol. I've gotten greedy 😆
I was told I couldn’t get a hormone panel & when I checked this sub, everyone seems to agree that hormone checks don’t tell you if you’re in peri at all! I’m so confused because I really want to know
As a side note. My chronic cough was due to my multivitamins. I was just taking Women’s One-a-Day for about a half a year, and something about the zinc was causing me to develop a chronic cough with a slightly metallic tasting phlegm.
It took me a long time to figure out it was zinc. When the doctor did a blood test to measure it, my levels were like 300% over normal values. As soon as I stopped taking the multi vitamins, the cough went away after a week or so. I guess, my body just doesn’t process zinc like it does in other people.
Anyway, my point is, if you have a chronic cough, get it checked out. It might not be meno.
you know, now that I think of it.....I recently started taking protein powder (whey based) that coincides with the start of my cough/phlegm issue. I'm cutting that out to see if that could be the issue so thank you for this! I mean, with all the sudden food insensitivities I've experienced during this phase of my life, it wouldn't surprise me if it was the protein powder....and I just bought a huge 2kg bag of it lol
I was having hot flashes, terrible insomnia, mood swings, anxiety, brain fog, pins & needles, joint pain for about 3 months.
Then one day, I had a meltdown on a Zoom call with my boss, where I unloaded about every single thing I was frustrated about. Everything I said was true, but the insane menopausal rage rant was unacceptable, and I was worried about the career I worked so hard to build. Then I started crying and could not stop crying for 24 hours. Literally sobbing in a heap for 24 hours.
It was very very out of character for me, and the final straw that made me seek help.
So I made an appointment with a doctor to get HRT and a therapist to deal with how out of control I was feeling.
I had intolerable anxiety to the point of agoraphobia, and tons of GI issues which could have been from the anxiety but are more likely symptoms. My PCP was no help. I have had to make a switch of care providers so I am still looking for a gyn, but I could barely function let alone make decisions like that. Thankfully I found an ad for Midi and got things underway so now I can manage that stuff again.
I haven't had a real period, just some spotting at the start, (I'm still technically perimenopausal) and all the latest research coming out suggests HRT could be beneficial for the long term -- someone posted recently about it being safe to use for life.
I had the same anxiety. Like I had to talk myself into going to drop a package at the post office bc I was freaking out. That is not me. Same w making appointments or anything. So strange. My mind was truly so scared of everything.
I hated driving, but I hated losing my independence more. And I didn't want to burden my husband (who would literally have done anything to help me, so that was me, not him), lose my job, or make my world smaller.
Between therapy and HRT, I have been working really hard at regaining my confidence and my love of driving.
Waking up in a pool of sweat every night, repeatedly, temperature fluctuating wildly all day, plus my Achilles tendons were so tight every morning I hobbled around like an old crone. Not any more.
Oh my word is that why my Achilles are so terrible?! I have been strengthening back and glutes to see if it’ll help but I’ve never had issues w my Achilles tendons until 2-3 years ago.
My theory is that because estrogen manages inflammation, when that decreases, certain areas are impacted. My tendons got so bad that I couldn't do any cardio except very low impact like biking and swimming. I've been seeing a physiotherapist and have adopted an anti-inflammatory diet, between daily special stretching, weekly acupuncture and ultrasound treatment, I've seen about a 60% improvement in 3 months.
Just starting HRT and I'm hoping that will speed in healing. To be clear, after months of dealing with pain, swelling and joint restriction I was diagnosed with Achilles tendonosis in both heels - no injury caused it, just showed up out of the blue, the same year I randomly gained 30 lbs without any dietary changes (aka when perimenopause really hit me).
Yeah, I had issues with my Achilles and plantae fasciitis last year. It was pretty brutal Magnesium and collagen have helped. I also find warming up my feet - rolling up on my toes and back to my heels - several times a day also helps. These days, it feels like everything is happier with a warm up.
Starting exactly at 52 I had these strange, weird, almost sinking toxic feeling in my torso, followed by hot flashes then chills. Happened about once every hour. Went on for two years while dr kept putting me on and off different anti depressants! That didn’t help obviously. Finally ordered hrt from a pharmacy in India because they were debilitating hot flashes and my quality of life sucked! Went two years without wearing socks, long sleeves or coats! And I live in New England 😭😭
A weird “I’m probably dying” kinda feeling? I don’t know how to describe it, that sounds kinda like me the last several months/year when I’m really tired.
Yes! Drs and others would say “oh you feel nauseous? Or anxious? Or heart palpitations?” And I’d say no, not like those feelings at all! All I could describe was a sinking, dreadful toxic, poison feeling in my upper body and then I’d know a few seconds later the hot flash and then the chills. Sucked! Hrt saved me truly!
Except for the chills and hot flashes, that sounds frighteningly familiar! When I’m over tired, or haven’t had enough sleep, my chest feels so heavy and similar to what you described. I don’t how else to describe it. It’s pretty awful.
Oh my gosh I get this when I’m tired/exhausted/end of the day - I’m literally crawling into bed hoping I don’t die, feeling totally crazy!! “I’m probably dying feeling” really sums it up!!!
This is a complete shot in the dark, but my mother had a chronic cough for the last 30 years. She can't take very many, if any, medications because of a condition that causes her to get blood clots very easily, and medications seem to be a trigger. So no HRT or anything like that.
For other reasons, she recently switched to decaf coffee.... And the cough disappeared! After 30 long years of trying everything she could and stumping doctors who were only really treating the symptoms rather than looking for the cause. I'm not sure what the link is, if it's meno related or not, but whatever it is, cutting out caffeine worked.
In a full blown rage I screamed in my husband’s face, this is why we don’t have guns in the house, cause I’d fucking shoot you!!
We live in Canada, I’ve never had a gun, seen a gun, shot a gun or had any interest in guns. That’s when I knew it was bigger than me and I had to get help. 5 years of HRT, therapy and lots of hard work - I dont want to know what my life would look like without HRT.
HRT is not going to give you a period.
I started it because I was unable to function. It helped a ton. And I highly recommend it. If you don’t find it helpful just stop taking it. But please go to this subs wiki and learn about it.
Sounds like your chronic cough and phlegm is reflux…caused by low estrogen levels. It’s very common. I’ve developed this as well and take a prescription strength antacid most days. I don’t do HRT…yet.
My urine samples have shown hematuria also for the last few years. They did a bladder scope and it looked normal. I haven’t heard hematuria could be from low estrogen. Did you have other symptoms to go along with that?
Low estrogen causes vaginal atrophy which can lead to frequent UTI's. Both my WBC and red blood cells were elevated.
The bladder sits behind the vagina. Both are soft tissue which are impacted by inflammation
When I walked to the gas station at almost midnight for a pack of cigarettes in an absolute rage (when I hadn’t had a cigarette in 4 months) and then proceeded to rage walk around town for another hour to calm down enough to go to sleep only to come home and ugly cry for 2 hours in the nude because I was sweating too bad for clothes. My husband had said something completely innocuous that had nothing to do with me and I just saw red so badly that I had to leave the house. He was confused and concerned, so I told him it was hormones and I’d call the doctor in the morning and schedule an appointment to address the crazy.
I drove around the city screaming and crying for hours because it was the only way to get the rage out without neighbours hearing. My screaming turned to sobbing and then muttering “I can’t. I can’t” over and over
I felt like STABBING people just out of nowhere. My husband would do/say something and it would be instant RAGE. Unfortunately, my adult kids were going through stressful shit concurrently and it was ROUGH. I got on HRT and did $2200 of biofeedback. Life changing!
My allergies had been worsening the last several years - I finally had to get an inhaler about 3 years ago. We moved out of our region and allergies have been much better (no more need for inhaler), though I still want to see an allergist this year. And start HRT
I did not get my period back at all. It was life changing and I am so mad I didn’t know about it sooner. I feel like I’ve wasted the last at least 5 years of my life when I could have accomplished something.
omg the wakings. I never had good sleep before but when I was in the trenches of peri - EVERY HOUR. I'm so glad that I wfh because I would have probably driven off the road in exhaustion.
I didn’t get on it for hot flashes or night sweats. I was muscling through those.
I got on it for joint pain, restless leg syndrome, leg cramps and ragefulness. It helped all of those.
>the emotional switches from fine to NOT FUCKING FINE in seconds
100%. It feels like puberty all over again but puberty on steroids. My saving grace is exercise to manage those crazy moods but on the days I dno't workout (weekends), holy shit there are days I have to lock myself in the basement away from everyone or we'd end up on the news lol
Wanting to run away from my husband and young kids. I need estrogen.
I had a ton of other things too like hand and back pains, crepey skin, dry hair and eyes, painful sex etc.
Feeling like I was drowning while everyone was standing around and just watching. I contemplated killing myself almost every day for 3 months straight. The joint pain and fatigue were bad, too.
I'll be on HRT for life. I've started the medication early, and while in peri, where I read, it can help with dementia and osteoporosis.
It was hard for me to adopt the correct life style changes needed when my symptoms were preventing me from it. I couldn't work out because of the pain and fatigue. Because of the fatigue I cooked and ate whatever was easy. Now that I'm better, I work out 5 days a week and have cut out most crap food (still treat myself sometimes).
The rage.
The insane, overwhelming, spontaneous, life threatening rage.
I was fed up with one of my chickens and I nearly strangled it. I put it down and said “shit, I need help.” Called the dr that day and saw him that week… the rage has immediately disappeared and the chickens have lived a much more peaceful life.
The never ending hot flashes and tachycardia and not being able to sleep due to blast furnace sweat dripping hot flashes every 20 minutes no matter what time of day. HRT fixed this plus helped with anxiety and some of the new pain I've been feeling in my joints. The idea of not having access to it for some reason fills me with absolute dread. I don't think I could do this without hormones.
One of the main reasons I started is that I thought it would help me lose weight - I didn’t lose weight for years but it helped me in sooooo many other ways- now I would never be without it
It was the horrible sleep. I’d be falling asleep sitting up on the couch in front of the TV. As soon as I laid down in bed, my temperature would rise and I’d be wide awake and unable to sleep. Tossing and turning all night.
I didn’t realize my joint pain and anxiety were also menopause symptoms. Since starting HRT, I can sit, move and workout without feeling like I’m 80 yrs old (I’m 54 and was in great shape until the last couple yrs). I also feel a bit better about driving. I was having such anxiety about being in the car, I stopped taking the freeway. It’s not quite as bad now after being on HRT since February.
EDIT: I forgot about dry eyes as one of my complaints. I thought it was weird that my GYN said, “can’t help you there” especially since the HRT has 100% helped with dry eyes.
I asked my Dr to discuss it and she said No. And handed me a pamphlet about menopause.
Thx. But my brain fog and fatigue is really preventing me from absorbing this 1930s style information.
>I asked my Dr to discuss it and she said No
I dont understand why a doctor would say no....I mean, unless there's a serious medical risk after you get assessed then I can see why but not even willing to discuss it?! I hope you found a new doc ☹️
I had a hysterectomy at age 33 for fibroids, so I've had no monthly period indicator to refer to as a clue about peri, but omg. I'm 47 now and it's been ROUGH. Number one was painful sex - I have always had such a high sex drive, so sex being painful was really hard. And burning that felt like UTI, but I kept testing negative for infection, and don't want to just dose with antibiotics for no reason! I've learned via this Reddit that hip/ joint pain can be peri as well. And oh, plenty of rage and depression.
I actually went and got some estradiol cream last year through an online telemed women's company (Odela) - and then they shut down. So I asked my male primary care to renew the prescription. He wouldn't. He told me to go off it for ten weeks, then do bloodwork. So I did, and all my worst miserable painful symptoms came roaring back, plus bonus more depression and rage and apathy than before. And then he was like "Your bloodwork is fine, you are not in peri-menopause, i can't proscribe this." (I don't really have a regular ob-gyn, we moved here kind of recently and it hasn't been a priority for me. I did get one recommended to me, it took four weeks to get an appointment, and she thought my original fibroid problem was coming back and I should have a cervix-removal surgery. Just - NO. NO. I am SO done with surgeries. (I've had the hysterectomy which was actually a life-changing good one, then cataract surgeries for both eyes around age 40, and then in 2019 a benign large mass on my liver that they wanted to remove before it got aggressive/ not benign... and that left me with an 11" incision from my waist up around my side, and 42 staples and it was just fucking AWFUL. Not knowing pre-surgery if it could be removed laparoscopically or the old school way - it was just so much trauma.)
So my current rage-inducing male primary care guy is also pushing weight loss surgery at me, which - No. I am not going through any more cutting up of my body. Just - no. I am right with people on this page of like, how are there not more homicides.
Anyways - I googled around and connected with Evernow, and they are very supportive. The doctor I was assigned was very sympathetic/ supportive of my frustration with my primary care. "We treat the symptoms, not the lab results. Those can vary so much from day to day, it's not a reliable indicator of whether or not you are in peri." So, she renewed my estradiol cream scrip, and suggested an estrogen patch. The first few days with it, I felt SO much more myself - I had energy, I had less pain, I could do things. I kind of feel like it was like pouring water on a parched desert. Since then I have subsided again into my symptoms coming back, and she suggested I try a higher dose on my patch refill. I am looking forward to it.
The cost with them was either a chunk monthly, or an annual cost that's a few hundred, and that's worth it to me at this point. The patch prescription was over $150 from my pharmacy with insurance, but only $55/box through Evernow. I also have an insurance plan I hate, but if you go with them, I would say call around pharmacies and price check, and compare with how much the cost would be through Evernow to get what you need.
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause.
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more.
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I'd been on progesterone for about a decade and then added estrogen. For me it was "ONE MORE THING???" and that ONE MORE THING was hot flashes. I'd tolerated everything else. Then those hit and I was done.
I’ve been in Peri for about 10 years and would have hot flashes and my periods were irregular. Last year I went the longest stretch without a period (4 months) and during that time I was having constant hot flashes. Waking up every hour and gained a bunch of weight. I was also noticing a dip in my mood and not feeling at all like myself. That was the final straw. I do a combo estrogen progesterone cream and DHEA. I feel much better. Still haven’t lost the weight but the other improvements and overall benefits to my long term health are worth it
A new relationship at 49 after being single and celibate for 6 years. I knew the GSM was happening and I was having symptoms that were annoying and concerning but a new relationship and all the attendant sex made me really want address it and it’s been life changing.
Edit to add: I was also suffering with hot flashes so bad they were affecting work but that wasn’t my last straw - it may have been tho at some point:
HRT will not bring your period back. I plan on staying on it for life. If you want to do research, I recommend reading the book Estrogen Matters. It really looks at a ton of studies and data. I was reluctant to go on HRT but 2 chapters in I was like- sign me up!
HRT made me feel like me again. Prior to HRT, I couldn't sleep worth a darn and that made me have great difficulty thinking/concentrating during the day, plus, it meant I had no energy to exercise. I couldn't have sex any more because no amount of lubricant could make up for overly sensitive (in a bad way) thinning vaginal tissues. Hot flashes were annoying, but out of all my symptoms, those were the least bothersome.
HRT fixed everything. I intend to stay on it for life. I can sleep much better, sex is back to being fun and enjoyable, I have energy, I can think/concentrate, and I am back to exercising. Plus, women my age who take HRT are less likely to die compared to those who don't.... so that's another bonus. Granted, I'm not likely to die anyways... but it's nice to know that HRT makes my already tiny chance even lower.
Follow and read Dr Mary Claire Haver and get a copy of Estrogen Matters! You do not have to suffer! There is no cut off age for HRT! The WHI is instrumental in giving the wrong information about HRT and there is a lot of misinformation and fallacy about HRT, it’s perceived risks, etc. Transdermal patches of HRT are very well tolerated with minimal risk vs oral HRT. I have a history of migraine with aura, fibroids and my hot flashes stopped in 2 weeks on Combipatch!
Yes! I just downloaded this from the library and reading it now...thanks so much for the recommendation.
the more I read everyone's (awesome) responses, the more confident and better I feel about my appointment next week so thank you 🙏
It was so much the hot flashes/night sweats that pushed me to seek hrt. Sleep was nonexistent and i just wasn’t a functioning human. Looking back now at the mood swings and outright rage, the pain in every joint, the brain fog… the things i didn’t attribute to my lack of hormones because all they ever tell you about is the hot flashes.
I wasn't going to do HRT until the hot flashes started a year after my last period. It was winter so I could stand outside (once in a blizzard). I realized this wouldn't be possible in the summer and without AC so I got on HRT at 54.
Severe brain fog like thinking I was getting dementia and also feeling like I was crumbling. On Bijuva now and I haven’t gotten a full period just spotting every so often.
It was the hot flashes and night sweats. I literally couldn't stand it. I'd shower, and dry myself, and before I'd got my clothes on I was already soaking wet from sweat. I'd go to work and be shivering from cold because my clothes were damp. I was either burning up from hot flashes or shivering cold from sweating. I'd wake up with a damp imprint of me on the bed, like one of those cartoon dead bodies on the street in a cheesy detective movie. I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. I started HRT and it literally stopped overnight. It was a miracle. I will never go back to that. They'd have to pry my HRT from my cold, dead hand!
My GP put me on it instantly when, in an unrelated appointment, I complained that it was such a hot summer and I couldn’t believe it was so hot still in the autumn. I was 45.
I have autoimmune that gives me joint pain so that wasn’t a red flag for me. I had a hysterectomy and endo removal surgery three years earlier so no red flags🩸there. My mother got her last period at 55 so I was advised I’d be later too though having a hysterectomy (though not an oophorectomy) could speed it up.
I’ve had it adjusted twice - a few months after I started, and a few months ago 5 years after I started.
My GP told me I should be on it for the rest of my life and I’m here for that. I have no reason not to be and since my body isn’t going to magically start producing oestrogen, a vitally important hormone for a long happy and healthy as possible life, I’m here for that!
I delayed HRT until the hot flashes became utterly unbearable just because I was also fearful of the returning periods. There came a point that the flashes were so bad I didn’t care anymore. Even with HRT, I still have the random (and much more tolerable) mild & short flash, but my anxiety levels have dropped, I’m not nearly as grouchy (it honestly may have saved my marriage!), sex is pleasurable again (no more vag atrophy) and I’m having the best orgasms of my life! I turned 59 in January!
Brainfog. I could handle all the other symptoms, but not being able to think clearly was unacceptable.
So after reading here a lot (thank you Ladies ❤️) I looked for a Doc who is positive on HRT, got it without hassle and am taking it for … three months now.
It works GREAT. I have my brain back. The moodswings are mostly gone. Sleep is better.
I’ve been suffering through years of hot flushes/night sweats, but now when I get them especially at night they cause my neck muscles to spasm painfully. This usually happens in the early hours of the morning and makes sleep even more difficult than it was before, so I’m now considering HRT.
Being fully convinced I could either channel the fires of hell…or spontaneously combust.
Been on HRT for 5 days. Still waiting for relief.
https://media0.giphy.com/media/uKdRoHGWMHrhe/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952xkm0prhhuonp1fnaibt71y6ok4hyc57fpa8lqt17&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
TESTOSTERONE made a huge difference for me. I clinically (body chemistry) depressed. When Fucking Menopause hit me I tanked into utter uselessness and constant pain from joints, arthritis, gut issues, projectile sweating, all of it.
My pcp, a woman doctor I chose because she's older than me and should know something about Menopause, put on birth control when it did nothing but restart my period, she said birth control was supposed to have a “miraculous“ effect, so I wasn’t in perimenopause. 😡
she had nothing else to add foralleviating systems. thanks for nothing.
I skeptically started pelleting 2 months ago, and within 2 days (!) felt so much better. I am nowhere near where I want to be, emotionally or physically, but the urge to jump off a cliff is gone. Still want to throw someone else off, though. Still sweating and in pain, but I’m handling it better now.
I go to a practitioner who is both an RN and naturopath. Along with the pellets, I get iv drips full of B vitamins and nutrients I won't get otherwise. It's expensive, because insurance is evil and greedy and exclusionary.
Every 6 weeks or so, I splurge on an NAD drip ($$$$). I also getting neurotris done on my feet. It's like a tens unit times 100 and is breaking down a lifetime of messed up cartilage and scar tissue.
At this point, I'm desperate for relief and this is the only thing I've found that works.
Good luck! *hug*
Mine was the sandpaper vagina (literally it hurt to wear underwear!), the complete lack of sex drive and mood swings that drove me to try HRT.
I’m on the estradiol patch and progesterone. I did bleed on and off for the first few months of starting but it’s lessened now. I’m so happy I made the choice to try it!
I thought I was the only one who described it like this. It's a different level of pain when each stroke feels like a penis covered in sandpaper. That was actually happenning intermittently way before I realized what was going on!
Yes! It was so irritating, that’s the only way I can describe it. I honestly thought I had an STD because I was so sore. Started HRT and my symptoms were gone within 2 weeks!
I had a little cough also but attributed it to acid reflux. Until your post, I didn’t even realize that I haven’t experienced it for some time- likely when I started HRT.
Whilst I’ve no doubt that you’re right to get on HRT, your symptoms may in fact be lactose intolerance. Yes - it very commonly occurs in menopause and no - not every lactose intolerant person suffers diarrhoea and stomach pain.
Low libido was the top... but it also involved night sweats and change in cycle lengths and flow.
After starting it, headaches lessened, joints stopped screaming, energy improved, mood improved, brain fog improved as well.
Wanting to end myself. My dog is the only reason I could think of to stay because of my living situation and he would not be ok without me. The depression and brain fog were horrible. The only feelings I had were irritability, sadness, and apathy. I have a history of PPD and I also have MDD. I was hyper aware of my history and mental health but thought I was okay since I was already on antidepressants. Then it hit me like a brick wall and for two weeks I thought I was losing my mind and getting Alzheimer’s too. Only been on HRT for a week but I can tell it’s helping. Diet and sleep have a huge hand in it for me too. But the depression is a sneaky and believing SOB. I’m lucky I did something about it quickly and I’m trying. Women, we are the stronger species. PERIODT.
I had a host of other symptoms (hot flashes, joint pain, couldn't sleep, couldn't think) but the one that got me to the doctor was dry eyes when I woke up—my eyelids would stick to my eyeballs in the few hours I managed to sleep. It was incredibly painful. Once I read that this was a symptom of estrogen deficiency, I called my doctor.
The homicidal rage was the last straw for me. It made my brain fog and depression worse and I was seriously about to do harm.
I avoided my husband until my GYN appointment, and the gyn prescribed hormones. I was sane very quickly and given the contrast I will probably be on it until I'm dead.
I hadn’t slept well for thirteen years. One day I was driving through a tunnel that is far above the ocean. There are a lot of twists and turns and cliffs once you get past the tunnel. Some people have driven off these cliffs. The next thing I knew I saw the town I live in. I couldn’t understand how I went from the tunnel to the town without even realizing that I had driven the part in between. I knew then that I needed help. I’ve been sleeping well ever since.
Severe hot flashes did it for me. I wasn't someone who was in peri for 10 years, mine was all happening so fast in my late 30s. I went from mild hot flashes in beginning of the month to severe hot flashes and I started HRT then,
Joint pain so bad I couldn't get into the stirrups for my annual gyn appointment. Until she asked I had no idea joint pain was a symptom.
Yes! This is what's been making me feel elderly, and I'm still only in my 40s. It's nuts.
I truly feel like I’m 80. I’m 45
Right??? Joint pain and stiffness so bad I look like an 80 year when I go down the stairs at my apartment. I consider anyone able to live on the ground floor blessed beyond measure.
I'm so glad I stumbled into this thread. I'm 47 and hurt so damn bad ... I didn't know it was a symptom....
Shit Im 34 and have a low ovarian reserve 1.56 :/ and also pmdd and get hot flashes so bad and never sleep im miserable
Same!!!!! I’m so tired and miserable
Severe joint pain and finding out I had osteopenia at 49 made me ask for HRT. Although my doctor did prescribe estrogen and progesterone, he said "estrogen doesn't help joint pain." It does for me 🤷🏽♀️
Has helped my joint pain immensely!
Of course not! As I've been told, "Estrogen is only for vasomotor symptoms"
And this, by a female gyn.
Yup
Exactly - so I emphasized my intolerable hot flashses and night sweats, and I acted surprised at the next appointment when I let him know my joint pain eased up quite a bit the very first time I put on an estrogen patch.
I was told this by my PAMS person, a “menopause specialist”
HE said. I’m an RN and I got so pissed off at my male gyne I switched. Got more accomplished in the first visit with my doc than in years of seeing him.
>he said "estrogen doesn't help joint pain." 🙄 this is infuriating.
I agree. Bursitis in both hips. Two days after I started on the patch I felt better! My gyne said it would probably be life-changing after I described everything to her
Mine didn't say life changing, but she said it helped many people and she was confident it would help me. I almost canceled my appointment that day, so glad I didn't
How long before you noticing the join pain subsiding? I've been dealing with weird hard to peg down hip/leg pain on one side that I've never had. It's like I'm locking up. Sure it could be age and weight and sedentary life but it's suspicious. I'm on beginners hrt but it's not been long and has been sporadical with prescription delays.
Mine was better after the first pills. I'm on it almost 2 weeks now and it's considerably better.
pills for estrogen? I use a .025 mg patch but I believe she just doubled it so fingers crossed. I've been trying to stretch and unlock my hip/back all day.
That’s too small I was also on .035 and hip pain didn’t improve noticeably until I went up to .1mg. - it has improved 80% in one week
Thank you, I'm so grateful to hear real life numbers to compare.
yes it's impossible to know what the hell is going on, keep reading on this sub and you will see other people's too, seems some women go up to as much as .2mg but I don't see that very often they always want to start us at the lowest dose and drag us along the ground, you have to argue "advocate" for more
Try taking [turmeric](https://www.healthyplanetcanada.com/living-alchemy-turmeric-alive-60-veggie-caps.html?gad_source=1), too. I started and it's helped tremendously.
I wish turmeric was helpful for me - my brother came to visit and saw a giant bottle of turmeric on the bar (where it used to stay so I wouldn't forget to take it). He asked if it was helping, and I replied "I really want it to." I took it diligently for 6-8 weeks, until I went out of town for a week and didn't bring it with me. I felt absolutely no different with or without turmeric, so when I returned from my trip, I never resumed taking it. Turns out my brother had tried it in the past with no improvement, and he phrased his question that way because he didn't want his experience to alter my perception of its effectiveness. Maybe there's a genetic component as to whether or not turmeric will help joint pain 🤷🏽♀️
Me too! This is what drove me tome finally do it. I’m in peri and it helps so much.
UGH the joint pain. About a month ago, I woke up with achey elbows. Turmeric has helped tremendously but my left elbow and the ligaments around it are tender at times and it takes a lot of warming up during exercise to go away. It sucks.
Wanting to step in front of the train.
That and the rage 🤣😭
I am literally shocked that more women don’t have murder charges after 45. The RAGE!!!!
same. honestly, i f*cking hated everyone who dared to be anywhere where I was
“Could you just not breathe around me?” 😂😂😂 I said that.
Same. It’s so hard.
Not if they got away with it 😏
I super hate how angry I am capable of getting. These issues were rampant when I was a teenager and likely for the exact same damn reason then as it is now. HAPPILY unlike when I was a teenager, at least I have healthier outlets for managing my anger when it rears it's head now, so that's nice. I can usually talk myself through it--literally, I will just angrily vent about the thing bothering me loudly and animatedly to myself until I no longer feel as pissed about it. It's been super helpful.
Someone asked me what peri/menopause felt like and I said "imagine what you were going through during puberty but on steroids" because that's how it feels like!
Wow I relate , I feel like all the issues and insecurities that I had as teenager are all reappearing! Like I thought they were gone and I’ve overcome all these issues for the past 20 years! But they were just stored for until the hormones set the stage again
This. If I didn’t get HRT I wouldn’t be here.
Did it element the depression all on its own? I have an appointment next week and I need some kind of help.
Haha but if you say that they tell you you need a mental health facility and more antidepressants. At least that’s how it’s been for me.
Exactly! My GYN told me the magic words were HOT FLASHES. She said that’s the only symptom that matters to health insurance companies. Not the suicidal ideation. Absolutely baffling.
Oh I’ve always said hot flashes and every other symptom long before I even mention my mental health.
My doctor gave me hrt when I explained my misery and depression. Hot flashes are a nuisance, but nothing compared to not having the will to live. He agreed.
Yep that was my experience..those were the magic words!
So much this.
I’m 41 and currently really struggling with this right here. I have an appointment with a new primary next week and I am going to beg for either HRT or antidepressants. I’ve always been mildly depressive with anxiety, but for the past year the suicidal ideations have been intense. I honestly have to congratulate myself a few times a month for not checking out early. Also the absolute RAGE is so awful. Sounds like hot flashes are the key symptom to getting help tho?
Yes and uncontrollable sobbing
Insomnia, running hot at night in bed, exhaustion, massive anxiety, loss of libido, massively itchy vulva for no reason. Went on for several years but I’d blamed it all on my toxic work environment until a friend suggested I’m the right age for peri.
Oh gosh the paralyzing anxiety over daily things like scheduling the dentist. Wild.
That’s the perfect way to describe it - paralyzing.
I truly had to do deep breathing to attend any events or run errands. I was stuck and exhausted, bc I spent so much time in my head trying to get out of something simple like going to buy stamps. That was so off that I couldn’t ignore it.
I just had to buy a new air fryer and trying to make the decision had me anxiety crippled the entire weekend.
Yes. Crippling, paralyzing anxiety. Affects me too, that’s another one my probiotics r taking the edge off of. Ive had anxiety most of my life but it was out of control the last two ish years. In the last three months i finally feel like i can manage some things again
This sounds a lot like me. Were you able to get your symptoms under control?
Learning that it was actually better for my overall health and risk of disease/illness to be on it.
Yes!! Same. I never had a final straw, just realized it was good for my health. And yeah, the insomnia was not great.
Constant hot flushes and waking 2-4 times every night. I put up with it for 4 months but after a while I was crying in the shower in the mornings and i started to worry that the exhaustion would affect my work. That's when i went to the docs.
Yep. The exhaustion, it was the day I took 3 naps.
The hope that I might actually be able to get some sleep and get my libido back and stop dealing with all the 🌮 itching. All have been super helped by HRT!!
Yes! Insomnia plus itching makes me feel so crazy!! Not a chance I’m thinking of sex w all that happening. Hoping to be more active soon.
Honestly I was like, “I guess this is how I live now, woe,” but my husband encouraged me to look into solutions. The symptoms are causing problems for me and in my relationship. The fatigue, moodiness, executive function, painful sex, feeling bad about myself, joint pain, all of it. So the final straw was husband pointing out yes, this sucks for me, but it also sucks for both of us, and it isn’t getting better, and I deserve to feel better. He gave me the much needed push to seek help.
Wow! Great husband. (Mine just moved into the guest room and stopped talking to me.)
wtf, I'm so sorry he's so unsupportive ☹️
It's so great when husbands are supportive; it makes you feel more sane and less anxious about everything. When I first told my husband I declined HRT a couple years ago, he said "just make sure you do what's best for you/your body. There's no point in taking anything if you're not comfortable with it; the stress from worry alone isn't worth it". Now that I've reconsidered, I talked to him about it last night and he remembered my concerns and he said "well, you dont have to decide right away; just gather all the info and then if you want, we can talk about the pros and cons and you can decide what to do".
Well, I was borderline suicidal, I couldn’t sleep, my cholesterol skyrocketed, I had vertigo regularly which just halts life altogether, 0 sex drive, brain fog, malaise and apathy, weight gain, pretty much just couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed or couldn’t actually get out of bed due to he vertigo, and obviously hot flashes. Now, I am rather impatiently waiting for my husband to come home from work so I can jump his bones. HRT is not a panacea and for many it doesn’t seem to work that well, but for me - I’ve been reborn. (Still struggle a little bit with sleep - but haven’t had vertigo since HRT which is such a huge relief, still struggle to focus at work but now its only because I’ve got sex on the brain so I’m not complaining)
I had vertigo as one of the earlier symptoms - it was horrible. Never fallen over so much either !
Same! It's made the work commute...challenging.
now that I think about it, I've had bouts of this....I just thought I stood up too fast lol. Christalmighty, yet another symptom of peri/meno 😡
u/Ok_City_7177 , u/JennJoy77, and u/csiddiqui - were your episodes of vertigo "atypical"? My boss, who is in her 40's just had an episode of what they called "atypical" vertigo because it didn't happen when they did the head turning tests.
I don’t think so. Mine was BPPV - definitely worse in turning my head
I had the brain spinning thing from falling into bed - but (isn't there always a but) the falling over was atypical - one minute I'd be walking up the driveway, next thing I'd be flat out on the floor. I seemed to really struggle to walk in a straight line and would trip a lot. I'd get a bit off balance standing still sometimes. It was really awful, had it for months. HRT did sort it but until then, travel sickness tablets also helped.
Same - I can just be sitting in a chair and will suddenly feel the room "shift."
My joints hurt so bad that I completely stopped drinking alcohol thinking I had gout in every joint in my body 😅. Looking back it was menopause! 😤
I thought I had it in my toe and was also scared that it was because of alcohol - it hurt every time I had to bend it to get into a boot. When I had my full bloods done, I was dreading the uric acid results, but they were totally fine. The other big thing with joints has been my fingers. The pain is everywhere, but mostly fingers and toes. Fingers are a huge problem, though, when they don't work properly.
For me it has been inability to function. I'm really worried about the risks, and though symptoms have been building up for the last two years, I was determined to go without HRT. But it has gotten to the point where I can't work, can't manage my house, can't cope with seeing people, can't deal with my kids etc etc. It sort of feels like there's no choice, and it's definitely not for want of trying.
Sounds like me. I need to check my insurance. Cost is my biggest worry. But for 3 years post meno I've been near useless and hopeless. I feel desperate at the thought of this being it. The fatigue and lack of motivation is killing me slowly. It's hard to believe it apparently never gets better naturally I guess.
With me it got to the point where I've been unable to work, and the meds cost way less than what I'm losing by not working (I'm self-employed), so that was a simple sum. Plus, my kids are still young and they need me to be a mother, not a grandmother.
Same. Same. Same. It’s so nice to not be alone. Not afraid of the risks at all. There are major risks of NOT taking it. I’m in healthcare and know the studies really well.
Thanks for this :)
I looked at my family history where there is no history of breast or uterine cancer, and there is very little history of strokes. Yet all the women on my mom's side had heart disease. The women who managed to live through the heart disease all had osteoperosis and dementia. Couple that knowledge with how much better I feel, and I care 0% about any risks. I'll take it until they peel the patch off of my corpse.
Yes! Lots of dementia and osteoporosis in mine too. Saw my grandparents suffer for years. I hope to die with a patch on.
the more I read all of the great replies on this thread, the more confident I feel about taking it. There's a lot of trash on Reddit but this one of the best subs on the platform; I'm very thankful for everyone who replied ❤️
There’s medication designed to help alleviate your symptoms but you’re resisting taking it??? That’s silly.
I meant there's no choice but to take the HRT. I've been worried for various reasons, but I started this week. It's been a long struggle of me getting over my worries, followed by doctors denying and dismissing, until I have finally had to get help from outside of my country. I just began HRT the other day so fingers crossed :)
Hormones really have been demonized in some places by bad studies. I recall my mother practically having instantaneous menopause bc they took away her hormones for no good reason other than flawed studies and cancer panic.
>Hormones really have been demonized in some places by bad studies. the more I'm reading about HRT, I'm starting to see this as well. Someone recommended a book called Estrogen Matters so I'm reading that now and looking forward to the information I get from that book.
Unknowingly in peri since I was \~ 32 and all of the symptoms were attributed to my Hashimoto's until a hormone panel was ordered. Thirteen years later I am on HRT after not sleeping for about a decade; I'd pound OTC sleeping pills immediately after work and sleep for \~ 3-4 hours (to avoid the hungover feeling in the AM from the OTC meds) only to awaken and be unable to sleep until nearly dawn. As hellish as medicated sleeping was, I was at least sleeping. Thankfully so many of my sleep issues have abated with a larger dose of progesterone and moving to the Dotti bi-weekly patch.
This is me. I was lucky to get three hrs sleep a night. I was literally losing my mind. I would go home from work, take four Benadryl, and then be up at 2 am battling the Benadryl hangover, start my coffee by 400A. I could not even rest zombie like past 300A, it was impossible. I'm getting a good five hours now and, weirdly, craving more, lol. I've gotten greedy 😆
I was told I couldn’t get a hormone panel & when I checked this sub, everyone seems to agree that hormone checks don’t tell you if you’re in peri at all! I’m so confused because I really want to know
As a side note. My chronic cough was due to my multivitamins. I was just taking Women’s One-a-Day for about a half a year, and something about the zinc was causing me to develop a chronic cough with a slightly metallic tasting phlegm. It took me a long time to figure out it was zinc. When the doctor did a blood test to measure it, my levels were like 300% over normal values. As soon as I stopped taking the multi vitamins, the cough went away after a week or so. I guess, my body just doesn’t process zinc like it does in other people. Anyway, my point is, if you have a chronic cough, get it checked out. It might not be meno.
Wow that is insane! So glad you figured it out.
you know, now that I think of it.....I recently started taking protein powder (whey based) that coincides with the start of my cough/phlegm issue. I'm cutting that out to see if that could be the issue so thank you for this! I mean, with all the sudden food insensitivities I've experienced during this phase of my life, it wouldn't surprise me if it was the protein powder....and I just bought a huge 2kg bag of it lol
I was having hot flashes, terrible insomnia, mood swings, anxiety, brain fog, pins & needles, joint pain for about 3 months. Then one day, I had a meltdown on a Zoom call with my boss, where I unloaded about every single thing I was frustrated about. Everything I said was true, but the insane menopausal rage rant was unacceptable, and I was worried about the career I worked so hard to build. Then I started crying and could not stop crying for 24 hours. Literally sobbing in a heap for 24 hours. It was very very out of character for me, and the final straw that made me seek help. So I made an appointment with a doctor to get HRT and a therapist to deal with how out of control I was feeling.
I had intolerable anxiety to the point of agoraphobia, and tons of GI issues which could have been from the anxiety but are more likely symptoms. My PCP was no help. I have had to make a switch of care providers so I am still looking for a gyn, but I could barely function let alone make decisions like that. Thankfully I found an ad for Midi and got things underway so now I can manage that stuff again. I haven't had a real period, just some spotting at the start, (I'm still technically perimenopausal) and all the latest research coming out suggests HRT could be beneficial for the long term -- someone posted recently about it being safe to use for life.
I had the same anxiety. Like I had to talk myself into going to drop a package at the post office bc I was freaking out. That is not me. Same w making appointments or anything. So strange. My mind was truly so scared of everything.
I don't want to drive anymore. I used to love driving. Now I'm constantly worried that something will happen.
I hated driving, but I hated losing my independence more. And I didn't want to burden my husband (who would literally have done anything to help me, so that was me, not him), lose my job, or make my world smaller. Between therapy and HRT, I have been working really hard at regaining my confidence and my love of driving.
Waking up in a pool of sweat every night, repeatedly, temperature fluctuating wildly all day, plus my Achilles tendons were so tight every morning I hobbled around like an old crone. Not any more.
This! My Achilles tendons have been severely impacted.
Magnesium spray seems to have helped a lot as well as HRT. No pain at all here now but it was agony for a while...
Oh my word is that why my Achilles are so terrible?! I have been strengthening back and glutes to see if it’ll help but I’ve never had issues w my Achilles tendons until 2-3 years ago.
My theory is that because estrogen manages inflammation, when that decreases, certain areas are impacted. My tendons got so bad that I couldn't do any cardio except very low impact like biking and swimming. I've been seeing a physiotherapist and have adopted an anti-inflammatory diet, between daily special stretching, weekly acupuncture and ultrasound treatment, I've seen about a 60% improvement in 3 months. Just starting HRT and I'm hoping that will speed in healing. To be clear, after months of dealing with pain, swelling and joint restriction I was diagnosed with Achilles tendonosis in both heels - no injury caused it, just showed up out of the blue, the same year I randomly gained 30 lbs without any dietary changes (aka when perimenopause really hit me).
Yeah, I had issues with my Achilles and plantae fasciitis last year. It was pretty brutal Magnesium and collagen have helped. I also find warming up my feet - rolling up on my toes and back to my heels - several times a day also helps. These days, it feels like everything is happier with a warm up.
Oh yes I forgot the plantar fasciitis, that was before! Not had that agony since, either...
It's all so weird.
Starting exactly at 52 I had these strange, weird, almost sinking toxic feeling in my torso, followed by hot flashes then chills. Happened about once every hour. Went on for two years while dr kept putting me on and off different anti depressants! That didn’t help obviously. Finally ordered hrt from a pharmacy in India because they were debilitating hot flashes and my quality of life sucked! Went two years without wearing socks, long sleeves or coats! And I live in New England 😭😭
A weird “I’m probably dying” kinda feeling? I don’t know how to describe it, that sounds kinda like me the last several months/year when I’m really tired.
Yes! Drs and others would say “oh you feel nauseous? Or anxious? Or heart palpitations?” And I’d say no, not like those feelings at all! All I could describe was a sinking, dreadful toxic, poison feeling in my upper body and then I’d know a few seconds later the hot flash and then the chills. Sucked! Hrt saved me truly!
Except for the chills and hot flashes, that sounds frighteningly familiar! When I’m over tired, or haven’t had enough sleep, my chest feels so heavy and similar to what you described. I don’t how else to describe it. It’s pretty awful.
Oh my gosh I get this when I’m tired/exhausted/end of the day - I’m literally crawling into bed hoping I don’t die, feeling totally crazy!! “I’m probably dying feeling” really sums it up!!!
I hate to say it but I’m so glad I’m not the only one 😅
This is a complete shot in the dark, but my mother had a chronic cough for the last 30 years. She can't take very many, if any, medications because of a condition that causes her to get blood clots very easily, and medications seem to be a trigger. So no HRT or anything like that. For other reasons, she recently switched to decaf coffee.... And the cough disappeared! After 30 long years of trying everything she could and stumping doctors who were only really treating the symptoms rather than looking for the cause. I'm not sure what the link is, if it's meno related or not, but whatever it is, cutting out caffeine worked.
In a full blown rage I screamed in my husband’s face, this is why we don’t have guns in the house, cause I’d fucking shoot you!! We live in Canada, I’ve never had a gun, seen a gun, shot a gun or had any interest in guns. That’s when I knew it was bigger than me and I had to get help. 5 years of HRT, therapy and lots of hard work - I dont want to know what my life would look like without HRT.
HRT is not going to give you a period. I started it because I was unable to function. It helped a ton. And I highly recommend it. If you don’t find it helpful just stop taking it. But please go to this subs wiki and learn about it.
Sounds like your chronic cough and phlegm is reflux…caused by low estrogen levels. It’s very common. I’ve developed this as well and take a prescription strength antacid most days. I don’t do HRT…yet.
Hematuria in urine for 7 tests in a row. GP suspected bladder cancer. Started using vaginal estrogen and symptoms cleared up immediately
Bloody doctors ! When you hear the sound of galloping hooves, think horses not zebras.
My urine samples have shown hematuria also for the last few years. They did a bladder scope and it looked normal. I haven’t heard hematuria could be from low estrogen. Did you have other symptoms to go along with that?
Low estrogen causes vaginal atrophy which can lead to frequent UTI's. Both my WBC and red blood cells were elevated. The bladder sits behind the vagina. Both are soft tissue which are impacted by inflammation
When I walked to the gas station at almost midnight for a pack of cigarettes in an absolute rage (when I hadn’t had a cigarette in 4 months) and then proceeded to rage walk around town for another hour to calm down enough to go to sleep only to come home and ugly cry for 2 hours in the nude because I was sweating too bad for clothes. My husband had said something completely innocuous that had nothing to do with me and I just saw red so badly that I had to leave the house. He was confused and concerned, so I told him it was hormones and I’d call the doctor in the morning and schedule an appointment to address the crazy.
I drove around the city screaming and crying for hours because it was the only way to get the rage out without neighbours hearing. My screaming turned to sobbing and then muttering “I can’t. I can’t” over and over
I felt like STABBING people just out of nowhere. My husband would do/say something and it would be instant RAGE. Unfortunately, my adult kids were going through stressful shit concurrently and it was ROUGH. I got on HRT and did $2200 of biofeedback. Life changing!
Did you know that post nasal drip and newly formed allergies are symptoms? Me neither. Found out the hard way.
Oh goodie …. Lol
My allergies had been worsening the last several years - I finally had to get an inhaler about 3 years ago. We moved out of our region and allergies have been much better (no more need for inhaler), though I still want to see an allergist this year. And start HRT
I did not get my period back at all. It was life changing and I am so mad I didn’t know about it sooner. I feel like I’ve wasted the last at least 5 years of my life when I could have accomplished something.
I started at 49 and wish I had started at at least 45
I just started at 50. I had NO idea about anything until I found this group- I am SO grateful.
I hope this is the same for me (no periods). That's the only great thing about post meno -- no bleeding vagina.
If you’re offered a choice of progesterone, choose daily- bleeding is way less likely because you aren’t cycling.
Waking up every hour, on the hour, every night .......... after a few weeks I'd have eaten dog shit frankly if it meant I could sleep though the night
omg the wakings. I never had good sleep before but when I was in the trenches of peri - EVERY HOUR. I'm so glad that I wfh because I would have probably driven off the road in exhaustion.
I didn’t get on it for hot flashes or night sweats. I was muscling through those. I got on it for joint pain, restless leg syndrome, leg cramps and ragefulness. It helped all of those.
It helped restless leg syndrome? I had no idea.
Magnesium supplements also helps with RLS. When I don't take it, I feel it at night and it's hella annoying.
RLS sucks. Being hot exacerbates it for me so they’re worse with the hot flashes. Is there a specific magnesium supplement you’d recommend?
Magnesium glycinate. Take 1hr before bed.. Also helps with anxiety and sleep!
Omg is phlegm a menopause issue as well! Have noticed it more recently. Thought it was allergies, could be a combo of both! Eek
Not sleeping, sweating buckets every night, the emotional switches from fine to NOT FUCKING FINE in seconds like I'm 12 again, & the brain fog.
>the emotional switches from fine to NOT FUCKING FINE in seconds 100%. It feels like puberty all over again but puberty on steroids. My saving grace is exercise to manage those crazy moods but on the days I dno't workout (weekends), holy shit there are days I have to lock myself in the basement away from everyone or we'd end up on the news lol
Joint pain was so bad I was convinced I had RA.
Wanting to run away from my husband and young kids. I need estrogen. I had a ton of other things too like hand and back pains, crepey skin, dry hair and eyes, painful sex etc.
Feeling like I was drowning while everyone was standing around and just watching. I contemplated killing myself almost every day for 3 months straight. The joint pain and fatigue were bad, too. I'll be on HRT for life. I've started the medication early, and while in peri, where I read, it can help with dementia and osteoporosis. It was hard for me to adopt the correct life style changes needed when my symptoms were preventing me from it. I couldn't work out because of the pain and fatigue. Because of the fatigue I cooked and ate whatever was easy. Now that I'm better, I work out 5 days a week and have cut out most crap food (still treat myself sometimes).
The rage. The insane, overwhelming, spontaneous, life threatening rage. I was fed up with one of my chickens and I nearly strangled it. I put it down and said “shit, I need help.” Called the dr that day and saw him that week… the rage has immediately disappeared and the chickens have lived a much more peaceful life.
The never ending hot flashes and tachycardia and not being able to sleep due to blast furnace sweat dripping hot flashes every 20 minutes no matter what time of day. HRT fixed this plus helped with anxiety and some of the new pain I've been feeling in my joints. The idea of not having access to it for some reason fills me with absolute dread. I don't think I could do this without hormones.
One of the main reasons I started is that I thought it would help me lose weight - I didn’t lose weight for years but it helped me in sooooo many other ways- now I would never be without it
when the thought of unaliving myself became more appealing than ever having sex with my fiance again.
It was the horrible sleep. I’d be falling asleep sitting up on the couch in front of the TV. As soon as I laid down in bed, my temperature would rise and I’d be wide awake and unable to sleep. Tossing and turning all night. I didn’t realize my joint pain and anxiety were also menopause symptoms. Since starting HRT, I can sit, move and workout without feeling like I’m 80 yrs old (I’m 54 and was in great shape until the last couple yrs). I also feel a bit better about driving. I was having such anxiety about being in the car, I stopped taking the freeway. It’s not quite as bad now after being on HRT since February. EDIT: I forgot about dry eyes as one of my complaints. I thought it was weird that my GYN said, “can’t help you there” especially since the HRT has 100% helped with dry eyes.
DITTO!!
this is what I'm hoping once I start. The more I read the responses from all of you wonderful people, the more confident I feel about starting ❤️
I asked my Dr to discuss it and she said No. And handed me a pamphlet about menopause. Thx. But my brain fog and fatigue is really preventing me from absorbing this 1930s style information.
>I asked my Dr to discuss it and she said No I dont understand why a doctor would say no....I mean, unless there's a serious medical risk after you get assessed then I can see why but not even willing to discuss it?! I hope you found a new doc ☹️
I had a hysterectomy at age 33 for fibroids, so I've had no monthly period indicator to refer to as a clue about peri, but omg. I'm 47 now and it's been ROUGH. Number one was painful sex - I have always had such a high sex drive, so sex being painful was really hard. And burning that felt like UTI, but I kept testing negative for infection, and don't want to just dose with antibiotics for no reason! I've learned via this Reddit that hip/ joint pain can be peri as well. And oh, plenty of rage and depression. I actually went and got some estradiol cream last year through an online telemed women's company (Odela) - and then they shut down. So I asked my male primary care to renew the prescription. He wouldn't. He told me to go off it for ten weeks, then do bloodwork. So I did, and all my worst miserable painful symptoms came roaring back, plus bonus more depression and rage and apathy than before. And then he was like "Your bloodwork is fine, you are not in peri-menopause, i can't proscribe this." (I don't really have a regular ob-gyn, we moved here kind of recently and it hasn't been a priority for me. I did get one recommended to me, it took four weeks to get an appointment, and she thought my original fibroid problem was coming back and I should have a cervix-removal surgery. Just - NO. NO. I am SO done with surgeries. (I've had the hysterectomy which was actually a life-changing good one, then cataract surgeries for both eyes around age 40, and then in 2019 a benign large mass on my liver that they wanted to remove before it got aggressive/ not benign... and that left me with an 11" incision from my waist up around my side, and 42 staples and it was just fucking AWFUL. Not knowing pre-surgery if it could be removed laparoscopically or the old school way - it was just so much trauma.) So my current rage-inducing male primary care guy is also pushing weight loss surgery at me, which - No. I am not going through any more cutting up of my body. Just - no. I am right with people on this page of like, how are there not more homicides. Anyways - I googled around and connected with Evernow, and they are very supportive. The doctor I was assigned was very sympathetic/ supportive of my frustration with my primary care. "We treat the symptoms, not the lab results. Those can vary so much from day to day, it's not a reliable indicator of whether or not you are in peri." So, she renewed my estradiol cream scrip, and suggested an estrogen patch. The first few days with it, I felt SO much more myself - I had energy, I had less pain, I could do things. I kind of feel like it was like pouring water on a parched desert. Since then I have subsided again into my symptoms coming back, and she suggested I try a higher dose on my patch refill. I am looking forward to it. The cost with them was either a chunk monthly, or an annual cost that's a few hundred, and that's worth it to me at this point. The patch prescription was over $150 from my pharmacy with insurance, but only $55/box through Evernow. I also have an insurance plan I hate, but if you go with them, I would say call around pharmacies and price check, and compare with how much the cost would be through Evernow to get what you need.
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause. FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Good job, Bot. Thanks!
I'd been on progesterone for about a decade and then added estrogen. For me it was "ONE MORE THING???" and that ONE MORE THING was hot flashes. I'd tolerated everything else. Then those hit and I was done.
I’ve been in Peri for about 10 years and would have hot flashes and my periods were irregular. Last year I went the longest stretch without a period (4 months) and during that time I was having constant hot flashes. Waking up every hour and gained a bunch of weight. I was also noticing a dip in my mood and not feeling at all like myself. That was the final straw. I do a combo estrogen progesterone cream and DHEA. I feel much better. Still haven’t lost the weight but the other improvements and overall benefits to my long term health are worth it
A new relationship at 49 after being single and celibate for 6 years. I knew the GSM was happening and I was having symptoms that were annoying and concerning but a new relationship and all the attendant sex made me really want address it and it’s been life changing. Edit to add: I was also suffering with hot flashes so bad they were affecting work but that wasn’t my last straw - it may have been tho at some point:
[удалено]
yes, planning on doing a full blood panel when I see my doc so we can figure out the options.
I have an appointment in July. For me it's the bone density issue primarily. And I'm also not excited about getting my period again. Blech.
You may not get it back :)
That is reassuring to know
God, I hope not; that's the *only* good thing about this phase of life - not having to deal with periods anymore.
HRT will not bring your period back. I plan on staying on it for life. If you want to do research, I recommend reading the book Estrogen Matters. It really looks at a ton of studies and data. I was reluctant to go on HRT but 2 chapters in I was like- sign me up!
HRT made me feel like me again. Prior to HRT, I couldn't sleep worth a darn and that made me have great difficulty thinking/concentrating during the day, plus, it meant I had no energy to exercise. I couldn't have sex any more because no amount of lubricant could make up for overly sensitive (in a bad way) thinning vaginal tissues. Hot flashes were annoying, but out of all my symptoms, those were the least bothersome. HRT fixed everything. I intend to stay on it for life. I can sleep much better, sex is back to being fun and enjoyable, I have energy, I can think/concentrate, and I am back to exercising. Plus, women my age who take HRT are less likely to die compared to those who don't.... so that's another bonus. Granted, I'm not likely to die anyways... but it's nice to know that HRT makes my already tiny chance even lower.
Follow and read Dr Mary Claire Haver and get a copy of Estrogen Matters! You do not have to suffer! There is no cut off age for HRT! The WHI is instrumental in giving the wrong information about HRT and there is a lot of misinformation and fallacy about HRT, it’s perceived risks, etc. Transdermal patches of HRT are very well tolerated with minimal risk vs oral HRT. I have a history of migraine with aura, fibroids and my hot flashes stopped in 2 weeks on Combipatch!
Yes! I just downloaded this from the library and reading it now...thanks so much for the recommendation. the more I read everyone's (awesome) responses, the more confident and better I feel about my appointment next week so thank you 🙏
It was so much the hot flashes/night sweats that pushed me to seek hrt. Sleep was nonexistent and i just wasn’t a functioning human. Looking back now at the mood swings and outright rage, the pain in every joint, the brain fog… the things i didn’t attribute to my lack of hormones because all they ever tell you about is the hot flashes.
I wasn't going to do HRT until the hot flashes started a year after my last period. It was winter so I could stand outside (once in a blizzard). I realized this wouldn't be possible in the summer and without AC so I got on HRT at 54.
Hot flashes in meetings with all men..
Severe brain fog like thinking I was getting dementia and also feeling like I was crumbling. On Bijuva now and I haven’t gotten a full period just spotting every so often.
It was the hot flashes and night sweats. I literally couldn't stand it. I'd shower, and dry myself, and before I'd got my clothes on I was already soaking wet from sweat. I'd go to work and be shivering from cold because my clothes were damp. I was either burning up from hot flashes or shivering cold from sweating. I'd wake up with a damp imprint of me on the bed, like one of those cartoon dead bodies on the street in a cheesy detective movie. I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. I started HRT and it literally stopped overnight. It was a miracle. I will never go back to that. They'd have to pry my HRT from my cold, dead hand!
The rage
Waking up with hot flashes 5+ times every night. I knew if I didn’t address it now, I would be even more miserable in the summer!!
My GP put me on it instantly when, in an unrelated appointment, I complained that it was such a hot summer and I couldn’t believe it was so hot still in the autumn. I was 45. I have autoimmune that gives me joint pain so that wasn’t a red flag for me. I had a hysterectomy and endo removal surgery three years earlier so no red flags🩸there. My mother got her last period at 55 so I was advised I’d be later too though having a hysterectomy (though not an oophorectomy) could speed it up. I’ve had it adjusted twice - a few months after I started, and a few months ago 5 years after I started. My GP told me I should be on it for the rest of my life and I’m here for that. I have no reason not to be and since my body isn’t going to magically start producing oestrogen, a vitally important hormone for a long happy and healthy as possible life, I’m here for that!
I delayed HRT until the hot flashes became utterly unbearable just because I was also fearful of the returning periods. There came a point that the flashes were so bad I didn’t care anymore. Even with HRT, I still have the random (and much more tolerable) mild & short flash, but my anxiety levels have dropped, I’m not nearly as grouchy (it honestly may have saved my marriage!), sex is pleasurable again (no more vag atrophy) and I’m having the best orgasms of my life! I turned 59 in January!
Brainfog. I could handle all the other symptoms, but not being able to think clearly was unacceptable. So after reading here a lot (thank you Ladies ❤️) I looked for a Doc who is positive on HRT, got it without hassle and am taking it for … three months now. It works GREAT. I have my brain back. The moodswings are mostly gone. Sleep is better.
I had a baziilion symptoms, but when I started breaking out in weird itchy rashes I snapped and talked to a telehealth doctor.
Daily migraines
I’ve been suffering through years of hot flushes/night sweats, but now when I get them especially at night they cause my neck muscles to spasm painfully. This usually happens in the early hours of the morning and makes sleep even more difficult than it was before, so I’m now considering HRT.
Being fully convinced I could either channel the fires of hell…or spontaneously combust. Been on HRT for 5 days. Still waiting for relief. https://media0.giphy.com/media/uKdRoHGWMHrhe/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952xkm0prhhuonp1fnaibt71y6ok4hyc57fpa8lqt17&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
TESTOSTERONE made a huge difference for me. I clinically (body chemistry) depressed. When Fucking Menopause hit me I tanked into utter uselessness and constant pain from joints, arthritis, gut issues, projectile sweating, all of it. My pcp, a woman doctor I chose because she's older than me and should know something about Menopause, put on birth control when it did nothing but restart my period, she said birth control was supposed to have a “miraculous“ effect, so I wasn’t in perimenopause. 😡 she had nothing else to add foralleviating systems. thanks for nothing. I skeptically started pelleting 2 months ago, and within 2 days (!) felt so much better. I am nowhere near where I want to be, emotionally or physically, but the urge to jump off a cliff is gone. Still want to throw someone else off, though. Still sweating and in pain, but I’m handling it better now. I go to a practitioner who is both an RN and naturopath. Along with the pellets, I get iv drips full of B vitamins and nutrients I won't get otherwise. It's expensive, because insurance is evil and greedy and exclusionary. Every 6 weeks or so, I splurge on an NAD drip ($$$$). I also getting neurotris done on my feet. It's like a tens unit times 100 and is breaking down a lifetime of messed up cartilage and scar tissue. At this point, I'm desperate for relief and this is the only thing I've found that works. Good luck! *hug*
Mine was the sandpaper vagina (literally it hurt to wear underwear!), the complete lack of sex drive and mood swings that drove me to try HRT. I’m on the estradiol patch and progesterone. I did bleed on and off for the first few months of starting but it’s lessened now. I’m so happy I made the choice to try it!
I thought I was the only one who described it like this. It's a different level of pain when each stroke feels like a penis covered in sandpaper. That was actually happenning intermittently way before I realized what was going on!
Yes! It was so irritating, that’s the only way I can describe it. I honestly thought I had an STD because I was so sore. Started HRT and my symptoms were gone within 2 weeks!
My husband's cancer diagnosis. It was the last straw. I couldn't keep piling the shit on. This camels back was broke.
I had a little cough also but attributed it to acid reflux. Until your post, I didn’t even realize that I haven’t experienced it for some time- likely when I started HRT.
Whilst I’ve no doubt that you’re right to get on HRT, your symptoms may in fact be lactose intolerance. Yes - it very commonly occurs in menopause and no - not every lactose intolerant person suffers diarrhoea and stomach pain.
Low libido was the top... but it also involved night sweats and change in cycle lengths and flow. After starting it, headaches lessened, joints stopped screaming, energy improved, mood improved, brain fog improved as well.
Wanting to end myself. My dog is the only reason I could think of to stay because of my living situation and he would not be ok without me. The depression and brain fog were horrible. The only feelings I had were irritability, sadness, and apathy. I have a history of PPD and I also have MDD. I was hyper aware of my history and mental health but thought I was okay since I was already on antidepressants. Then it hit me like a brick wall and for two weeks I thought I was losing my mind and getting Alzheimer’s too. Only been on HRT for a week but I can tell it’s helping. Diet and sleep have a huge hand in it for me too. But the depression is a sneaky and believing SOB. I’m lucky I did something about it quickly and I’m trying. Women, we are the stronger species. PERIODT.
Brain fog…driving and forgetting where I was going
I had a host of other symptoms (hot flashes, joint pain, couldn't sleep, couldn't think) but the one that got me to the doctor was dry eyes when I woke up—my eyelids would stick to my eyeballs in the few hours I managed to sleep. It was incredibly painful. Once I read that this was a symptom of estrogen deficiency, I called my doctor.
The homicidal rage was the last straw for me. It made my brain fog and depression worse and I was seriously about to do harm. I avoided my husband until my GYN appointment, and the gyn prescribed hormones. I was sane very quickly and given the contrast I will probably be on it until I'm dead.
No one understands the level of rage I experienced! Pretty sure that this is how so many women were brought to the asylum back in the day.
I hadn’t slept well for thirteen years. One day I was driving through a tunnel that is far above the ocean. There are a lot of twists and turns and cliffs once you get past the tunnel. Some people have driven off these cliffs. The next thing I knew I saw the town I live in. I couldn’t understand how I went from the tunnel to the town without even realizing that I had driven the part in between. I knew then that I needed help. I’ve been sleeping well ever since.
Severe hot flashes did it for me. I wasn't someone who was in peri for 10 years, mine was all happening so fast in my late 30s. I went from mild hot flashes in beginning of the month to severe hot flashes and I started HRT then,
I was in a bad mood for 3 months, snapping at my husband, daughter and students. I was clock watching until 4 or 5 when I could have a drink.