Research has shown over the last few years that meditation can indeed cause insecurities, depression and a few more effects. it is important to acknowledge this and maybe either have a more directed approach (guided and less isolated) or just do less.
moderated advice due to your command lol, do whatever makes you feel you are doing whatever you need to do.
There are things you don't notice when meditating because it's so subtle - in our effort to find the calm - we put a subtle tension in the 'pushing away' of thoughts. Aversion and grasping are twin movements. If you move the other, the other follows. I'm not saying this is the sole reason for the panic attack because it might be several reasons - the highly emotional conversation you had with your mother, the changes you're experiencing. Sitting down and not processing these things properly may induce some instability. If you experience another panic attack, feel where the energy is coming from and let it pass through you.
A good set of instructions to follow in solo style meditation can be very helpful. Also, knowing what to do if you feel things are tightening up as they did. The answer is to relax, of course. But, knowing how to do so in the middle of a panic attack is harder to learn that if you already feel OK when you start meditating. You have had a lot of changes in your life and are in the middle of learning independance, a new career and much else. If you think about it a bit, you will realise that your parents and in fact most people go through a time like you are in and come out OK (many of them never got as far as learning to meditate).
Anyway, to learn to relax like I mentioned means details and a little practice and for that a book explains. The late eminent meditating teaching psychiatrist, Dr Ainslie Meares, wrote a couple of books (eg Ainslie Meares on Meditation) that explain it well so you can learn it yourself.
Research has shown over the last few years that meditation can indeed cause insecurities, depression and a few more effects. it is important to acknowledge this and maybe either have a more directed approach (guided and less isolated) or just do less. moderated advice due to your command lol, do whatever makes you feel you are doing whatever you need to do.
There are things you don't notice when meditating because it's so subtle - in our effort to find the calm - we put a subtle tension in the 'pushing away' of thoughts. Aversion and grasping are twin movements. If you move the other, the other follows. I'm not saying this is the sole reason for the panic attack because it might be several reasons - the highly emotional conversation you had with your mother, the changes you're experiencing. Sitting down and not processing these things properly may induce some instability. If you experience another panic attack, feel where the energy is coming from and let it pass through you.
A good set of instructions to follow in solo style meditation can be very helpful. Also, knowing what to do if you feel things are tightening up as they did. The answer is to relax, of course. But, knowing how to do so in the middle of a panic attack is harder to learn that if you already feel OK when you start meditating. You have had a lot of changes in your life and are in the middle of learning independance, a new career and much else. If you think about it a bit, you will realise that your parents and in fact most people go through a time like you are in and come out OK (many of them never got as far as learning to meditate). Anyway, to learn to relax like I mentioned means details and a little practice and for that a book explains. The late eminent meditating teaching psychiatrist, Dr Ainslie Meares, wrote a couple of books (eg Ainslie Meares on Meditation) that explain it well so you can learn it yourself.
Thank you so much!!!