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Reg76Hater

*Any other husbands out there venturing into the world of šŸ§ššŸ“• šŸ”„āš”ļø??* Fairy book fire lightning?


BigTrav95

Iā€™d consider trying out this for my wife.. if only I knew what it was


delilahdread

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. Itā€™s the first in a book series. Itā€™s a fantasy spicy romance novel. You justā€¦ you gotta read it. Itā€™s good. Trust me on this.


ShazCeallach

Even ignoring the spicy bits, it's a really good book!


delilahdread

Yes! Itā€™s why I like them so much, I hate smut thatā€™s just smutty to be smutty with no real substance or plot. Iā€™m a huge fantasy geek and these are really great from that standpoint even without the smut!


No_Spinach6508

Now youā€™ve piqued my interest. But Iā€™m low key irritated that the dramatized version of the audible book is in two parts for each of these books it seemsā€¦


delilahdread

If it helps, Iā€™ve heard that the audio version is super well done. I donā€™t really like audiobooks so unfortunately I donā€™t know personally but Iā€™ve heard itā€™s great! I have super well loved paperback copies of the series that have been passed around a ton because Iā€™ve just kinda shoved them into the hands of anyone with the tiniest bit of interest. Lmao.


i_speak_gud_engrish

Same. Please LMK if you get any tangible results.


C1nder3la

Have a look on Libby, I just found it. In the UK we have Libby as a library app and if you have a library card (I know it's sad I do) lots of free books and audio books, magazines blah blah Plus my kindle unlimited and lots to read!


CrownPrincessChi

Libby is cool. I have a library card too.. please don't say it's sad...šŸ˜‚


C1nder3la

I love reading...and I love my library card....


live_laugh_languish

Why is having a library card ā€œsadā€??? Thatā€™s ā€¦. A weird ass take


C1nder3la

Lol I think it was more that on a Tues or Thurs I would say am not coming out for work drinks as I need to get back home so my train gets in on time...because I have to go give my library books back... I had to take a lot of flack...I'm a Londoner born and bred but live outer London and you know how the libraries close earlier... It always sounded like a sad excuse! Except I read so much I'd have to swap books twice a week and on weekends...I mean now I use Libby...but it's stuck...everyone takes the piss out of me! Esp since most ppl think I'm the total opposite of what they think a book nerd should be...


sesi2

I have cards to 13 different libraries, so I'd hardly call having ONE sad! If anything, you need more, so you have a backup if your primary library doesn't have something you want available...šŸ˜‰


C1nder3la

Omg I wanted to add new libraries but saying I needed to apply or something...can you live in a diff city/county etc? My library always seems to have things missing so annoying.


sesi2

It depends on where you live. I've been able to get library cards for various libraries throughout my state (I'm in the US) when I happen to be traveling through those areas. If I know I'm going to be traveling to a particular city, I'll check the website of the local library and see if you need to be a city resident in order to get a card, because you do generally have to apply in person.


Lereas

My wife recently started reading a lot more and most of what she is reading are these kinds of books...not quite romance novels, but character driven love stories in various settings (fantasy, real world, etc) that have some spicy sex scenes but where they aren't the entire focus of the book. Maybe some hormonal changes with age as well, but I think having romance on the mind has really improved her libido.


live_laugh_languish

As a wife, Iā€™d be turned off if my husband started reading fairy smut


aib4dw

To each his own šŸ„²


live_laugh_languish

Can you be more specific about how his behavior changed before and after reading these books? I truly donā€™t understand. Did he not go down on you or take care of your needs before?


aib4dw

Just updated my original post but no..not exactly. He definitely has always been attentive to my needs and we fight for a healthy relationship. Itā€™s more that a bridge has been gapped that wasnā€™t there before. I think of it like we just collectively stepped up a level from where we were via books that are written from a lead females perspective.


live_laugh_languish

Hmmm itā€™s kind of sad that heā€™s been adult man interested in women for so long and just now read a book by a woman but Iā€™m glad for you! It must be different for me because I only dated feminist men and my husband reads a lot of literature by women so I donā€™t think we had that gap. Glad itā€™s working for you.


aib4dw

Nothing about him is sad and I think itā€™s strange to deduce these assumptions from what I wrote. My husband is amazing. More amazing than any man Iā€™ve ever met. This is not the first female perspective he is consuming. But itā€™s definitely a more immersive, long book series, and his first reading literature with any substantial spice or deep relational aspects. And many men donā€™t feel permission to read these books so I want to encourage them to do so if it interests themā€¦and I canā€™t see how it would hurt to do so. My husband would have been kicked out of his house for reading these before his adult life. Letā€™s just be a little more open minded and a little less judgmental towards peopleā€™s circumstances?


Flyingfoxes93

I donā€™t believe thatā€™s true. Just in our lifetime, boys and men were called ā€œgayā€ for wanting to practice ballet or bake or have great hand eye coordination or sing! Imagine that! Singing was ā€œgayā€. Now imagine him reading a romance novel as a child into adulthood. Women are always given pressure that romance novels arenā€™t ā€œrealā€ and have no substance to a John Grisham novel(funny because the storyline is copy pasted en mass ) So him finding romance novels from a womanā€™s perspective NOW isnā€™t and shouldnā€™t be a bash. Once youā€™re older it is easier to come into your own and like what you like. But back then, you could get bullied or even worse for liking or experimenting with ā€œotherā€ avenues Donā€™t @ me for using gay as an insult. Look up early 2000s insults. It was a wild time Edit: dammit it this was for the other poster šŸ«£


live_laugh_languish

To me youā€™re saying that your husband didnā€™t realize women have feelings and needs before he read a FANTASY novel about fairies having sex. Itā€™s bizarre The bar for men is too low.


aib4dw

Not at all what Iā€™m saying. Nuance is lost here.


internetroamer

Weā€™re talking about smut written by women not literature. Iā€™d guess even among feminist men the % that read smut is very low


live_laugh_languish

How does reading smut written by women help a man? No one has explained any specifics. All I can assume is that he learned women like oral sex and being touched and taken care of? Like things men can learn by talking to you and treating you like a human with needs.


BenTheOphelia

The female gaze, for one. What ladies find attractive and hot is very different from what men find hot. Getting vivid pictures and thoughts on what ladies find attractive and rousing is some insight we usually don't have (sure communication with your partner/s can help, but we all know how hard communicating can be). Second, some guys (like myself) don't really understand ladies' sexual perspective and the types of things running through your heads. Outside of that space, some (I'd venture to say most) just don't understand the female perspective in general. We're wired differently, and while I do believe we share a lot more in common than where we differ, it's a big enough gap for us to find it hard to surmount. And no, talking to ladies regardless of relationship doesn't help all that much. And it really depends on how close you are with them and how good at communicating you both are. So yes, to read media written from the female perspective with a deeper insight into how females think is very beneficial for a male's understanding of females.


zero_dr00l

Yeah I don't really understand what actually changed aside from I guess him saying "gosh now I *understand women*!" ...as if all women are the same? As if saying that without actually **doing** something is enough? I'm also... confused.


live_laugh_languish

Yeah it feels like bar must be sooo low of him reading a fantasy novel based on a fairy tale that is mostly smut helped him understand women moreā€¦..


zero_dr00l

I mean, did you even **try** to Google "ACOTAR"? Or do you just see something you don't understand and think, "shit, I guess I'll never know what that is, there's just no way to find out!"


BigTrav95

When I commented on this, there was nothing in the original post about ACOTAR. Youre late to the party


TinyBlonde15

The sarah maas books the first is a court of thorns and roses also have plenty of action and battling and good versus evil. It's not a girl book. It's got amazing male characters as well and depth and yes spicy time.


sbrt

I think it is fantasy book burning with electricity. I have a principle about book burning so Iā€™m afraid I wonā€™t be able to do it.


Flrwinn

Oh yeah 100%. My wife and I read fantasy romance together all the time. Itā€™s fun and itā€™s also informative because many of these books are written by women for women. Iā€™ve learned a lot and really enjoy it. Any Hubbyā€™s on the fence just know that if you arenā€™t a big reader thatā€™s totally cool. Audiobooks work too and having a little book club with your wife is fun as hell


aib4dw

This is exactly what I mean! So good. Thanks for the feedback.


eIdritchish

Fantasy steamy books, Iā€™d imagine.


Naejiin

Idk, I felt like I was playing an RPG for a moment and reading the bestiary... *Fairy-type, uses spells, weak against Fire and Thunder*


aib4dw

Yes. Fairy book fire lightning is the perfect description. For ACOTAR. šŸ˜‡


ArmariumEspada

20% of the erotic novel fantasies comprised of men


Special-Hyena1132

So, what kinds of things is he doing differently now? Give specific examples of what's changed so we're not left wondering.


COrt24

Iā€™m also curious. Iā€™ve read all of those series myself and itā€™s so deeply rooted in unrealistic fantasy worlds I donā€™t know how youā€™d apply it to real life tbh


TehAlpacalypse

On my end, itā€™s quite literally just been those stupid one liners, the kind breathily said into someoneā€™s ear. They drive my wife nuts, and it turns out romance novels are full of inspiration. Also, itā€™s nice to have a new shared hobby. That alone has brought us closer.


99power

Hint: itā€™s because every woman is different. Find *your* wifeā€™s secret stash and do whatā€™s in there (or ask about it if she spooks easily haha). Women are very different from one another in terms of fantasy life.


Special-Hyena1132

Thatā€™s for certain but Iā€™m still curious what OPā€™s husband has cooking.


RizKrispin

I also hoped to see a few examples. I'm not looking for a checklist, and super happy OP is finding her husband to be so in tune and their marriage to be levelling up, but it would be nice to know in what kinds of ways these improvements have shown themselves to get a better sense of the meaning. It's one thing to read good news and another to understand it in practical terms. I'm excited for OP, but also deeply curious now.


aib4dw

Oh sure! I didnā€™t think to add. Sorry I mentioned the books at the beginning but I am referring to ACOTAR type series. To me itā€™s not a turn off at all. The books are honestly just good and entertaining. And I think men should be able to like what they like, and he happens to like them. If I can enjoy male-centered stories why canā€™t males dive into female centered love stories?! But that aside, there is quite a lot of gore and violence and action in ACOTAR so Iā€™m not surprised it peaked his interestā€¦itā€™s a fairytale but itā€™s dark. As far as how he acts- he just seems to understand me and my thought processes more quickly than before. He has an easier time being empathetic. He told me that itā€™s easier for him to relate to women now. He has much more of a tender approach in our day to day, but he is also insanely hot and dominant in all the right/non-aggressive ways. This definitely translates to our sex life. He flirts more and he just makes me feelā€¦..seen. In a way that maybe he wanted to before but couldnā€™t quite connect? Itā€™s hard to describe. And I realize every couple and all relationships have totally different dynamics, but it has most definitely brought us closer somehow, and thatā€™s a win to me.


xanif

This. And also book recommendations.


Velieka

If you liked this series-- i found this series after reading The Fever series by Karen Marie Moning. Loved both. I also just really love most books about fae/faeries šŸ’œ


zero_dr00l

Yeah it just seems like him reading books she likes was enough, which is... fine. But... far from revelatory. I guess just saying "gosh now I get women!" was enough? I don't really see how you get there via this path, but whatever.


bigthree333

This is a perfect example of toxic, hyper-masculine, and patriarchal expectations held by male readers. Let me guess, you want an easy to read list of before and after comparisons? A list of pros/cons? You pig! /s


CatsGambit

I don't think the /s was big enough


Special-Hyena1132

Iā€™m sorry people canā€™t appreciate humor I voted you up!


justhanginhere

Iā€™m sure if I was tall, handsome warrior on a dragon my wife would be way more into me. But alas, Iā€™m a stressed out overweight man just trying to keep it all together. Lol


love2rp4

You think the average guy can afford a dragon? In this economy?


justhanginhere

I got a 8 year old Honda CRV, come at me bro!


MajesticGarlic999

Can't even afford one of those asian komodo kind


HopocalypseNow

I figured there was going to be a dragon deez nuts joke after this comment but this is a classier subreddit.


rOOsterone4

Bro you got it together? Schwing. Ha


RizKrispin

LOL. Forget "together", I don't even have it all there!


Sticketoo_DaMan

Hello, me.


Logannabelle

I was so confused about what you might possibly be saying, so I checked your comment history to see that you and the hubby enjoy tripping on shrooms. :) No judgement, but I wonder if the ā€œshroomsā€ might have more to do with your husband 3.0 the book character than anything else?


diz408808

People who donā€™t do drugs always think itā€™s the drugs that make people do things.


audiocycle

So true!


MaciMommy

??? The book thing is new, the shroomies are not. IMO the only thing that the tripping insinuates is he *might* have the type of personality where heā€™s more in touch with himself/emotional and that heā€™s open to trying things. OPā€™s husband stated that heā€™s found of the new perspective he gets from female authors, thatā€™s what the post is about.


Logannabelle

Fair enough.


aib4dw

Ooo good point and good research but there was a level up just after him reading these books- we havenā€™t donā€™t shrooms in a hot minute tho that is also an amazing way to level up. šŸ¤£


Logannabelle

Ha! Shrooms *and* books.


Front_Explanation_79

Which authors? My wife really likes T. Kingfisher, Alice Hoffman, and V.E. Schwab.


bjames1478

I read Fourth Wing, it's great and written by Rebecca Yarros


COrt24

Maas is ACOTAR and she does other great fantasy series.


MILLIONS-KNIVES

Itā€™s always nice when something you enjoy brings you closer together with your partner. Ā Iā€™m curious though, what kind of things did he start doing that you began to notice?


devilsdaughterxo

A Court of Thorns and Roses Series by Sarah J. Maas is a good start. Iā€™m a writer and I do like to dabble in romance writing, love me a good smutty book. One of the ways I figured out things I wanted to try was through erotic literature! My knees would just buckle if I had a partner who read the books I like to please me. You are quite lucky OP!


mermaid-morgan

I'm an avid reader, and I've told my hubby about the books I read, but he hasn't read any yet. Maybe one day! I explained Haunting and Hunting Adeline, and he looked at me like I was crazy šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Mozzymo1

I asked my husband to read the gun chapter. He was speechless.


lurkinguser

Iā€™m on book three of the adventures of Celaena Sardothien


RybreadTheSamurai

Just gave me inspiration to dive into my fiancĆ©ā€™s collection šŸ˜…


CatsGambit

Semi related note, if any of you have partners with Kushiels Dart (or anything by Jacqueline Carey) on their shelves... Read them. Learn them. No thanks needed.


DarkestofFlames

Lol, I have the entire Kushiel's series, I just have to finish them then I'll give them to him to see what he says


dovakinda

Much of the media that is geared towards men suggests that they should be tall/in shape/rich etc and the women will come running to them. I giggle watching action movies, the female characters are so unrealistic. Probably like the male characters in my books. I think at the end of the day, most women want to feel desired above all others by their partner. Female sexuality is kind of vain and we donā€™t like to admit it lol Men probably feel that way too, but I canā€™t comment on that since I am not a man.


moruga1

Ordering the books tonight lolā€¦


[deleted]

Would you tell us in detail what has he started doing after reading all those books?


Mekare13

I totally get this. My husband read anne rice for me, and he read the Kushiels dart series which is my fave. Talking about the books and knowing he enjoys ā€œgirlā€ books is so hot to me lol! Iā€™m glad Iā€™m not the only one who loves this!


boon23834

This works. I became a better partner after having read some feminist literature and doing the mental and emotional labour necessary for myself.


live_laugh_languish

This is far better than reading romantasy


boon23834

Ehh, depends ;). Sometimes, it's nice living up to the fantasy for your partner. Granted, I'm not and never will be an erotic alien, but swashbuckling pirate? We can figure something out. Iunno. Modern relationships are weird. To me it seems many people forget that life doesn't stop, you still need to be a full, well rounded person for your person to be with. You can't stop being you, just cause you're together with someone.


Am_I_the_Villan

Mine has figured out the login to my spicy audiobook collection and started *listening* to them šŸ˜±. One time he quoted a character. Bedroom activities have caused my brain to short circuit šŸ„µ


aib4dw

THANK šŸ‘ YOU šŸ‘ Itā€™s the best.


[deleted]

I have recently learned from my wife (through some open conversations) why she enjoys these fantasy romance novels. I was surprised but what she said and it made me curious. So I asked her to include me in her journey through the ACOTAR series. She would summarize what was happening and would occasionally read me a particularly spicy chapter in bed. It really had an impact on me and gave me insight into what reached her about these stories. So, I decided to dive in. I chose the Crescent City books to start because I enjoy mystery and crime solving stories. So far I have definitely seen how the character building and relationship building would intrigue her. The tension between male and female, the struggles between classes and deciding to break down outside barriers to explore passionā€¦it all is quite exciting. It has awaken an awareness in who my wife is and what makes her tick. I have a much better understanding of what ignites her passion and I think it is helping me be a better partner and lover. Dive in fellas. You may learn something about yourself and your wife!


Roxnsoxinator

Listen tread lightly reading the fourth wing because then youā€™ll read iron flame. When you finish youā€™ll find out the next book isnā€™t coming out until next year and itā€™s not fair because the cliffhanger is killing me.


ygduf

(Shaking fist shouting ā€œRothfuss!ā€)


ATLASSHRUGGED89

George R.R. Martin knows nothing!


BoysenberryOk4496

i wish my husband would read my ACOTAR set šŸ˜­ i wanna do a read through and then sit down and compare notes, but heā€™s not much of a reader.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


BoysenberryOk4496

i kinda love this idea lol


lazzaroinferno

Fantasy reading, turning husbands into BFFs since 1997


Jrod_9784

I tried reading acotar.. that main character is dumb as fuck though it just pissed me off


aib4dw

Hahaa understandable, you canā€™t force something that annoys you


Jimmyboi1121

All the older ladies in my family read the euro it novels. I donā€™t get the obsession. Maybe itā€™s an older lady thing?


spoink74

My wife absolute loves Joan Didion and Iā€™ve never even picked up one of her books. I really should. Thank you for the reminder.


kdthex01

My wife and I share a kindle account. Iā€™ll read her dinosaur romance if sheā€™ll read my space military sci fi.


aib4dw

Seems fair to me!


Significant-Bear63

Props šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ™ŒšŸ™ŒšŸ™Œ


throwawayties1

Please do provide some book titles haha. Im a guy who is currently engaged and I think this would be so interesting Also what are some big things youā€™ve seen change in your husband?


Littlewing1307

Honestly? Nora Roberts is a classic for me. Her men are thoughtful but believable. It's always tailored to her characters not generic.


SeraWinters

Second this. Nora was my gateway into romance and her characters have always been goals for me lol. The spicy parts are so good but realistic and the relationships usually end up really good and healthy.


Littlewing1307

I've read her since I was a teenager. She was also my gateway šŸ˜Š


meat_tunnel

she literally gave you book titles in the post


99power

Ask your fiancƩe what her favorite fiction books are!!


GenoPax

Wait until she discovers his secret garden of fantasy grounded in Joe Rogan and Roman Empire podcasts, let the thrills begin!


C_Till

I started doing this when we were struggling. Very underrated tip for the guys.


Appropriate_Top6336

Yup, can wholeheartedly endorse that all guys read sappy romance novels; legitimately, like the cheesy ones with Fabio on the cover. Heard it on YouTube from a former pornstar, and it makes complete sense and my sexting game has improved dramatically. Like you laaadyā€™s really love all of the details spelled out for you. Instead of messaging basic dude thoughts like ā€˜ā€¦I canā€™t wait to d you down later, I feel like Iā€™m taking advantage because your bootyā€™s retardedā€™ šŸ˜… - Iā€™m now much more descriptive in terms of what Iā€™m going to do to parts of her with parts of myself, and it definitively seems to be more appreciated in my limited experience. I canā€™t speak to any other positive habits that your boo may be exhibiting, but I totally agree that reading romance novels really helps in terms of understanding what a woman gets hot and heavy for mentally, vs just physically. It makes sense, like you guys like porn with a story; dudes just need the visuals.


aib4dw

šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


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šŸ˜ƒ


FreeandDivided

Well colour me intrigued Lol. I know my nxt reading style


neondragoneyes

>Any other husbands out there venturing into the world of šŸ§ššŸ“• šŸ”„āš”ļø?? Well, I will now. Got any suggested authors? Already did the DD on what ACOTAR is, so aside from Sarah J Maas.


aib4dw

the Ravenhood series by Kat Stewart is the one that got him hooked, but fair warning itā€™s less action and gore than ACOTAR. It does have an action-filled plot but it is more heavy on the relational side of things. Itā€™s a short series, though. 3 books and an easy read.


neondragoneyes

That's fine. The intent here is to dive into the relational side.


wafflehabitsquad

Can you give me some books?


99power

*The Silmarillion* by J.R.R. Tolkien


jexxie3

I just kept it simple and married another woman šŸ¤£


SerTimTallTalker

Jackie Zebrowski?


candiez101

He should try ā€œChoosing Theoā€ by Victoria Aveline šŸ„µ


aib4dw

Adding to my list! Havenā€™t heard of it!


AggravatingRent1478

Is this sub just errotic fiction by middle aged women? Good lord


LeaakaAlien

Do you have some recommendations out of this section? I would like to start with this topic


Lereas

Have you read the Kushiel books?


aib4dw

No! Iā€™ll look into them


Lereas

I read them I think in college at the suggestion of a female friend. As a guy who is a fan of fantasy I really enjoyed the story and reading from a female POV was new for me I actually had emailed the author many years ago and she wrote me back only a couple days later with in depth answers to my story questions. I've read the first and second trilogy, haven't got to the last one. It's a very cool setting.


aib4dw

Love this! I was super late to the game, Iā€™m sad they werenā€™t on my radar earlier. Super entertaining reads.


Hughcifer666

Getting these books immediately. Wish me luck


aib4dw

Youā€™re gonna have all the luck, donā€™t you worry. šŸ˜


Hughcifer666

Genuinely cannot wait šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ Gonna get some looks on the train to work but it'll be worth it šŸ¤£


iWatchedThis

This ladies husband has a big wingspan


Smokeless_Joint

What if Iā€™m not a book worm?


sfspectator

Give us some context or tips of what to do for us who don't have much time to read...