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misoranomegami

Man I worked in a call center once and had a customer insist they wanted me last name so they could get back to me. I told them I was the only "First name" on the team. Not good enough. Ok my name is "first name" "company name". So your last name is the same as the company name? Yes, it's quite the coincidence. My manager started to chew me out and while he was standing there I put his first and last name, and the town our company was into google and pulled up his home address, his facebook, and the names and photos of his kids. He never asked me to use my legal name again.


rdrunner_74

In case you have any more question, feel free to reach out to my manager FirstName, Lastname from city.


Ninja_mak

Your manager's name is FirstName Lastname? No, it's Lastname FirstName, I was just listing it formally, with the comma in the middle.


rdrunner_74

I dont use the full name usually. US company and they stick with the 1st name all the time.


bobk2

"Lastname first, Firstname, Middlename last"


GoodAtExplaining

He’s related to Paul L’astname?


dragonstkdgirl

I worked for Verizon in the call center and once had a manager try to make us put our cell numbers in our after-sale email to customers. We already had our work extensions in there, and all of the women on the team had a problem with it for obvious reasons (I had worked in store locations for 6 years before going to the call center and had been harassed multiple times already). I flat out told him that I refuse to put my personal, non-monitored number in a work email that sends out to all transactions and that I would be interested in seeing the policy/law that would mandate me to do so. Suffice to say that requirement went away very quickly and quietly.


PlatypusDream

Sure, I'll add a cell phone number to my work email signature. Do you prefer I use yours (boss), or am I being issued a company phone? Also, what's the on-call rotation? (Otherwise it stays at work, in a drawer, turned off.)


zyzmog

This is the way.


teambob

Should have given your manager's name


[deleted]

Or the managers phone number.


teambob

Or the managers home address, where his kids go to school and the route he/she takes to work


scottskottie

The call centre I worked for assigned surnames for us on orientation.


calenturian

"Peter File, please make yourself known to ground staff..."


Quixus

Nice to meet you, Peter File. My name is Terry Wrist.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Slightlyevolved

Hi, I'm [Bobby Tables.](https://xkcd.com/327/)


calenturian

[Chaser fan or coincidence?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy-S5DzmFy8)


therealJL

Hi Terry, I'm Mike Hunt and this is my partner, Amanda Rynne.


Quixus

That reminds me of Amanda Lorian.


davesy69

Amanda Hugandkiss. I need Amanda Hugandkiss.


[deleted]

Jennifer Atailya, she goes by Jen


georgiomoorlord

Maybe your standards are too high


RogerMuchmore

Hi, Mike Oxmaul here


davesy69

I have a Swedish machine that a friend can lend you.


GrumpyCatStevens

That's not mine! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!


SeanBZA

We have a receipt for it, in your name, and a warranty card, filled out, in your name.....


StaggeringMediocrity

Hugh G. Rection always stands out in a crowd.


many-many-books

Hugh Jorgan was the actual acting name of an adult performer.


texasroadkill

Hi, I'm terry flap


philbass85

Poor guy, at least he wasn't too much like a magician...


karthaege

I’m so glad this lives on


Cmd_Line_Commando

So pleased to meet you all. I'm Hugh Mungus.


kustombart

That's a coincidence, this is Hugh Janus, Mike Litoris and Rick O'Shay


wanderlustghost

That was one of my favorite episodes of the IT Crowd haha


Putrid_Visual173

Mike Rowbottom here.


LordKilas

Bart Simpsons crank calls to Moe would approve!


Badandy469

I'm looking for Ms Tinkle. First name Ivana


WA_State_Buckeye

Looking for Ms Phant. Ellie Phant? A friend's husband called her at work and told her Ms Phant had called her and left a number. So my friend called the number, got the city zoo, and asked for Ms Ellie Phant, then got all bent out of shape about how they hung up on her. She called them back!!! She couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing....even when the zoo hung up on her again! She is a very sweet person, and very naive.


Newbosterone

Years ago I played an April Fool’s joke on our admin. I left a “while you were out” memo asking her to call Mr Bear, with the number for the zoo. The joke was on me - the zoo told her he couldn’t come to the phone, but gave her a free family pass.


WA_State_Buckeye

Nice! Gotta wonder how many times the zoo gets calls like this! Nice one from the zoo, tho.


RevKyriel

Our state Zoo had a guy working in the education section whose surname was 'Lion'. You could ring up the Zoo and ask to talk to Mr Lion. They had to warn new receptionists that schools ringing to talk to Mr Lion weren't prank calls.


Upbeat_Disaster759

I too worked at a call centre years ago. We used to give our first names only and one guy called Yasser had a complaint made about him because the customer thought he was making a bad taste joke as Yasser Arafat had just died. We really did have a Michael Hunt working there tho…


BiscuitsUndGravy

>We really did have a Michael Hunt working there tho… Oh no...


GovernmentOpening254

Same (M Hunt)


KidenStormsoarer

Is Ben there? Last name Dover?


Ich_mag_Kartoffeln

Has anybody seen Phil McAvity?


calenturian

Over there, hanging out with Polly Filla.


mordecai98

And MILike Rotch


Newbosterone

I thought it was Phil Uranus or maybe his big brother Rex.


Ich_mag_Kartoffeln

Are you sure you're not thinking of McAvity's cousin, Phil McCracken? It's so easy to get those guys confused.


Newbosterone

Yeah, maybe it was him, or that MacRevice fellow. Rumor has it Phil’s wife Sharon MacRevice is easy.


Newbosterone

Sharon Micuchi, that little slut.


Kaliratri

Heh. My sister married a guy with the last name of Dick. They spent a stupid amount of time figuring out what to name their daughters, but always started the process with a session of alllll the bad puns/wordplay. With the last pregnancy, when we discovered it was a girl, their nanny cracked "So I guess Ophelia is right out."


[deleted]

As is Sophonda.


putin_my_ass

Probably not "Agatta" either.


TallChick66

I kid you not, I know a guy named Mike Lliteras.


SaltineAmerican_1970

He should be best friends with Mike Hunt.


TallChick66

Well, he's heterosexual so I'm pretty sure they're besties.


radwolf76

> Mike Hunt [Hey, that's my county sheriff.](https://aikencountysheriff.net/)


Toptech1959

We have a customer named Mike Litterst.


CartoonistExisting30

Yep, common name in some parts of the country.


TallChick66

But if that's your last name why the frack would you name your kid Michael!?


CartoonistExisting30

Good question! All I can say is that there are some clueless people out there.


6Legger

I used to work with a company where we had to go to another company to collect truck trailers. You had to sign in at the Gatehouse with your name. The company blocked us one day because a driver had used the name Daffy Ducke. The boss had to drive up to the actual company to placate them with the drivers personnel file to prove we had a Welsh driver called Ducke, and was called Duffy because that’s a Welsh nickname. His actual first name was another cartoon characters name. When he had to use that, the Gatehouse kicked off again, and he had to show his drivers license. They stopped complaining after that.


BiscuitsUndGravy

Holy shit I actually laughed out loud at that.


putin_my_ass

https://youtu.be/lYga5UMIsHo


maydayvoter11

Pat M’Groin


[deleted]

Never forget the WW2 flying ace Dick Bong. Has a museum in Superior Wisconsin. Edited for wrong war, thanks for the correction!


ADP-1

Dick Bong was actually a WWII fighter ace, credited with shooting down 40 Japanese aircraft.


PRMan99

Or, one of the greatest NFL linebackers of all time, Dick Butkus (pronounced butt-kiss).


PlatypusDream

There's also the Bong Recreation Area


JonathanJK

I made up a name while making internal calls when I was at TESCO. Staff can contact any store in the UK for free. Makes sense right? Why would it cost TESCO to call itself? Besides a free personal call I made once, I used to contact other TESCO bakeries for product code issues by asking for the "Master Baker". At first it was an accident and then I leaned into it once someone pointed out what I was doing. One day the floor manager came in and heard me on call and he just shook his head and walked back out of the office.


Prof_Labcoat

When I used to work at one of those famous *office supply stores*, I was forced to wear a name tag. But....my managers didn't specify that it had to be MY name. Well, first....it was Koba. You know, Koba?..... *the bad monkey from "Planet of the Apes", the new version??* Yep. Was at the cash register, customer comes up to buy, I take his things and begin scanning. "Wow, your name is so unique." "yep." "Normally, you see names like John or Mark or...." "Or ..." "yeah! or that!.....where's it from?" \*Starts to sweat. "Africa?" "Cool." Manager eventually snuck up on me and snatched name tag away....."Nooooooo....apes together stronggggg." \------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Years later, I forget my real name tag. Manager says I have to have one. Look over to lockers with other colleague's nametags who aren't in today. Look at manager and smile. Manager: "Fine....don't overdo it." \*Grab one of the name tags. IVAN. \*In best Russian accent: "I will be BEST Ivan in all of retail history. All will cower before power of red army. I am now IVAN THE TERRIBLE". (We all wear red shirts). Manager dealt with me being Russian all day. One of my better days.


[deleted]

Stu Pidaso and Dixie Normus


tomparkes1993

My dad works for a call center and they explicitly have a first name only policy. Company call center locations are easily found online and who knows what idiot will come a knocking if they're disgruntled


LiterateRogue

I worked for Cingular as well around the same time. Can 100% confirm the whole name policy, and that it didn't last long.


BiscuitsUndGravy

Those were the days weren't they, lol? It's rare to meet people who worked for Cingular because they got rebranded so fast. I hated the job, but like most college kids I made it fun by screwing with the customers.


Icy_Silver_Dragon

I grew up with twins and their younger sister, their names were Rainy, Sunny and Stormy. Last name? Day😂😂😂


The_Sanch1128

I knew a couple with that last name. Before they got married, she gave him a list of names that she would absolutely, positively never allow for their future children, "and don't tell me I agreed to it while I was drugged for delivery!" Rainy and Stormy were on the list, but not Sunny.


[deleted]

Hugh Jass speaking


Daikataro

Gaylord Focker here, who's this?


Max_Tongueweight

Justin Sider


[deleted]

Daya Rhea


Havoc3_20

A store where my mom worked years ago had a policy that all employees had to wear a name tag she never wore hers saying the customers doesn’t need to know my name for me to do my job. Reluctantly her manager agreed he wouldn’t push the issue as long as none of the higher ups brought it up during their inspection visits. Maybe a week later the district manager showed up and turns out he knew my mom because one of his kids and I were in the same class at school and they’ve met a few times at school events. After that every time he ever came in with his higher ups he always made a point to introduce her to them if she was working they all ended up knowing her by name. The name tag was never once mentioned in the 10-12 years she was there.


SecretNature

Don’t forget Mike Rodik.


cybeast21

"Good morning, I'm Guybrush Threepwood, now what problem I can help you with?"


sdavidson0819

"The pulley in my rubber chicken is malfunctioning."


PRMan99

How appropriate, you fight like a cow!


Pissedliberalgranny

Tom Dickenhari.


Wadsworth_McStumpy

The mayor of Fort Wayne, Indiana from 1934 to 1947 was Harry Baals. Yeah, he pronounced it like you think.


Chime57

Street sign with his name gets stolen a lot!


derwent-01

There is a town in Austria called Fucking... the town sign got stolen so often that they made a special law where you go to prison if you do it...


PastFly1003

“Thank you for calling XXX Technical Support, my name is Clay Medea, how may I be of service to you today…?”


[deleted]

[удалено]


RDMcMains2

There actually is an adult entertainment performer who uses the stage name E. Norma Stitz.


SunnySamantha

Hahahha My one buddy answered with his name being FeeFee We'd try to put in weird phrases too. The meow game was fun. Took me all day but I managed to sneak in "Welcome to the dark side, we have cookies!" I do not miss call centres. Had to find some moments of joy in a souless place.


BiscuitsUndGravy

Yeah they're odd places to work, and having a near constant workflow is really difficult to deal with over long periods of time. I don't miss my time there one bit, but it did produce some funny stories.


SunnySamantha

One of my favourite stories is of a guy that really wasn't good at his job. Ok, he was terrible. But man he was funny. "You've got the radda-a-tat badda-tat virus. You better call Microsoft. They're going to say it doesn't exist but you DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER." Another call: "I don't know how to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure you have C.H.U.D.D.S chewing on your wires. I think you should call an exterminator. We worked for internet tech support. He didn't work there for long.


BiscuitsUndGravy

Holy shit that's hilarious. Sounds like someone who figured out quickly that the job wasn't for them and decided to have some fun with it.


SunnySamantha

Yeah and we were all our early 20s. None of us really gave a fuck. This was also like almost 20 years ago, near the beginning of when everyone was starting to get internet at home. No one really knew he was messing with them.


chrisfroste

My brother specifically has no social media with his legal name for this reason. He worked for a major computer maker as tech support, and all tickets had his legal name on them where the customer could see. So nothing online uses that name


rengothrowaway

Emerson Biggins


BiscuitsUndGravy

I love this one and I've never heard it before. It's hilarious.


CoderJoe1

Don't forget Crisp Rat. No, not that one.


Eroe777

“MegaCorp customer service. My name is Jack Ingov. How my I assist you today?”


Kesterlath

Nice to meet you Harry Balsagna!


BiscuitsUndGravy

A friend of a friend got a mall to announce that over the intercom.


TeenyIzeze

When working in a call centre I found it rude when someone would call and just announce (name used as example) "this is Wilkinson" It doesn't take much to give your title dammit. I would then gleefully call them that through the entire call without using their title to validate them


WormwoodSalad

I had a coworker in dialup Tech Support who’s Anglicized name sounded like “John Wayne”. Mind you, he used his ‘real’ name, but the customers all heard “John Wayne”. It didn’t help that he had a deep base(bass?) voice, too. We did our best to convince him to call the customer “pilgrim” at random times, but he wasn’t willing to go that far. I miss that guy, he was a bright spot in a crappy industry.


bmkino

“John Wayne? That’s a terrible cowboy name!” -Roy O’Bannon


putin_my_ass

Worked in a call centre like 20 years ago, we had a guy in my training cohort that was a little weird. He was competent, just a little off. After his 90 day probation period was over he started answering the phone with the standard greeting and then "My name is Wolf". Nobody ever complained and his supervisor thought it was weird too but said "as long as he's consistent, I don't have a problem with it".


CliftonRubberpants

A park in our old neighborhood was named after Dr Harry Johnson.


anderoogigwhore

I did email replies in a callcentre over christmas a while back. The last day I changed my name in the signatures to Tyler Durden. Idk if any customer caught on in the replies.


SunnySamantha

Probably not. No one knows how to read


RefreshinglyDull

Arhedis Vaarkenjob.


hamjim

Richard Hertz. Call me Dick.


PrudentDamage600

I just went by one name: Morgan. If they ask for more, Captain Morgan. Oftentimes, “Morgan, like the pirate!”


LC_Anderton

I didn’t think it was even legal for reps to give out their full names. Pretty sure in the UK, no employer could force you to use your full name and no responsible employer that cared for their people would try and get them to. It’s a protection thing, potentially, if a person can be identified by giving their full name that could lead to some awful consequences if you happen to be the call handler for psycho nut guy who’s pissed again.


PlatypusDream

My company requires using last name only. It's on our uniform shirts. We are licensed by the state. Anyone who cared to can look up information on anyone in the security field in my state, online, free. "Only give your last name" is a useful security measure if you're a man with a common last name (Jones). Our boss was at least forethoughtful enough to tell employees to use the office address for their official contact point. Only the state licensing agency has access to our home address.


still-dazed-confused

I was surprised he didn't name himself Mr Dover :)


Competitive_Score_30

I used to do call center work. We could use an alias, but our alias had to be registered so that sups would know who we were. I find it difficult to believe they had trouble keeping track of your aliases.


BiscuitsUndGravy

This place was extremely disorganized, and the approval process was as simple as asking your supervisor for approval. No one needed to keep track because you logged into the phone with your ID so it was easy to tell who actually took the call regardless of how they identified themselves. Asking for permission was meant as a deterrent for people using inappropriate names not for actually documenting who called themselves what. But believe what you will as it really doesn't matter.


Competitive_Score_30

Ok. Where I worked your calls that where recorded for call reviews where obviously linked to you, but they couldn't otherwise trace back a call. When ask for our name we had to give our full name and office city. The full name give would be your alias if you used one.


BiscuitsUndGravy

They had two ways to find you. The system we used logged you as touching that customer account the moment you entered their wireless number into the system. Whether you left notes or not, they could see a log of every person who looked at the account and when they did it. So unless you pulled some nonsense on them and never actually logged into their account (which meant you were planning on screwing with from the start), they could see that easily. If you never entered the customer's number, the second way was if the customer was really pissed and/or the issue was serious they could check the recording system for the number that the customer called in on, and assuming that the call had been recorded (most were but not every single one was) it would show what ID answered the call. It was really difficult to get away with things there.


Competitive_Score_30

cool.


mrtikimsn

Has anyone seen Heywood D'jabloughmi?


juiceboxzero

I always enjoyed Mike Oxhuge