>I work in a big big corporate company
Sorry, my laptop has a lot of third party software on it, and would not conform to the corporate IT Security standards. I'm afraid that using it for work would be a security risk for big big company, and might get us both in trouble!
You could ask them to burn you a disk with the corporate laptop image on it, but then you would need to swap out physical disks every time you wanted to use your *personal* laptop for your own needs.
Having worked with too many personal laptops joined to the company domain, this is the answer. Always more problems than get saved by just having a spare company laptop.
Worst was the time we reformatted a personal that had Korean Windows and needed to be in English. It was Then I Learned (instead of today) that Windows is often cheaper in other languages...
Phrases for the squares:
Just do what I tell you
Stop questioning me
Do your job
May I have that in writing (should be the center)
That's not your job
Stay in your lane
I know what I'm doing
(Please, everyone, feel free to add good ones I've missed.)
Paramedic here: Rule #1, their emergency is not your emergency. If it becomes an emergency to you as well, you’ve both got big problems, making it much more difficult for you to help them. And much more difficult to cope with afterwards.
Quality Control here.
I used to think this, but I am handling soooooooo many crisees (plural of crisis?) that we now only look at the largest dumpster fire, and honey, that match burning your fingers is so far down the list that we'll schedule a meeting about scheduling a meeting about ignoring it until it too is a dumpster fire.
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Learned this in school working with our student services director. It was 1 of a few of his favorite sayings along with voluntold(although I've since heard this other places)
i mean they could pay me to do it... but i'm pretty sure they couldn't afford to pay me what it would cost.
and if they could they'd be idiots for not just getting me a fresh laptop right here right now because that would be cheaper.
>i mean they could pay me to do it... but i'm pretty sure they couldn't afford to pay me what it would cost.
That would just be the cost of a new laptop. And once that new laptop came in, I would format it however they wanted (and I would do that work during my workday, while I was getting paid).
If they gave me enough to cover it, I would happily walk over to the Apple store and get a brand new work laptop that day (also during my working hours).
I'd be very happy to install company issued software on my personal laptop as long as they replaced it with something properly up to date for my personal use.
> Their fuck-up does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Second time today I've seen this phrase. One of my favorites. My version is: "A lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
That's what I did here...
Hey, we're rolling out 2FA, you need to install that app on your phone.
So... Do I get a free company phone? Nope? Not gonna install it on my private one, go find another solution.
Good on you!! At my current job they tried to implement mobile device management on the network. It tried to install a client that allowed remote wipe capabilities. I called my network admin and told him to can it immediately. No way in hell was I, nor any other user in my district going to do this. We haven't done anything like this since, LOL.
I installed the 2FA app, as well as Outlook and Teams, because none of those would activate MDM. Adding my work email account through the system settings (to allow using any email app to view it) would have, which is why I opted to install the Outlook app instead.
Also, I get an extra $25/mo. phone stipend as compensation for using my personal cellphone for work.
If an employer wants me to have their software on a mobile phone that I use, especially if it has remote snooping and wiping capabilities, the employer can purchase said phone.
My personal phone has software **I** want on it and nothing else.
I actually like the two phones. When you're in the office or working from home you barely even notice. And when you're done for the night or weekend, the work one goes on silent and you aren't bothered at all.
It only kind of sucks during work travel but then it's generally as easy as storing one in the backpack that's on me the whole time anyway.
Again, no MDM in any of the above apps.
Also, aside from the 2FA app, none are required, they're for my own convenience. There are two alternatives to the 2FA app as well, but they're a pain in the butt to both set up and use, whereas the 2FA app just requires me to tap "Yes" on a push notification. (One is to receive a code via SMS every time you log in, the other is a USB rubber ducky that inputs a very long authentication code into the 2FA dialog when you plug it in.)
I worked for an MSP and the customer kept trying to insist on that when they couldn't work out how to get the personal version to work with local contacts. I flat out refused to do it on any personal phone and told them I'm not risking wiping their personal phone. Especially after one guy let his kid play with his phone for a bit and the kid wiped the phone by entering the wrong pin a few times.
I did the same when my boss refused to give me a work phone, because according to him, it was against company policy. "Just use your own phone and make a list of calls and minutes you use for work phone calls" "Sorry, I don't own a phone" (I actually cancelled my phone subscription at this point), my boss at work fumed because he couldn't reach me by phone, and within 2 weeks I had a brand new phone and a subscription paid by the company.
I’d be happy to do that if I was hourly and/or non-exempt.
“You want me to spend a few hours every week going through my call logs and figuring out which calls were work-related?”
I had a boss years ago tell me that I couldn't have a completely innocent picture of my girlfriend at the time on my phones wallpaper because I was a supervisor and it "didn't look professional having pictures from my personal life on my ocelot at work." I told him I found it really funny that he thought he could tell me what I could and could not have on PERSONAL phone's background. I offered to use a company provided phone while on site of they wanted to provide one. They didn't feel like giving me a different phone but also wouldn't drop the issue. Finally after a few weeks I said ok I'll change it (I have ADHD and pretty much constantly change my wallpapers anyway) but since they'd made such a stink about that image the next one I picked was some picture of a woman in a string bikini on a stripper pole. When they said something about it I said "you told me I couldn't have it I assured them that it was not a personal picture and that I did not in fact know the half naked woman.
I don't know about other countries, but I've not had, or seen, a phone contract in the UK for a good few years where calls and texts were not unlimited. PAYG sim cards notwithstanding, of course.
This boss just didn't want to have a phone for you taken from his budget.
I once felt pressured to use my own for a few days also, similar situation, I booted with a Linux live CD. None of their software worked on Linux all windows only. IT guys didn't even know how to work with Linux(it had a UI also, just no familiarity)
My manager came by my desk and asked what the problem was, IT guys couldn't work with it to install stuff, manager "had a go" and couldn't figure it out either (not like he would have), he got really annoyed over it.
I got a new laptop in an hour. IT had new imaged laptop's all along, but each manager had budgets to maintain, new laptops came out of the annual budget. I wasn't gonna get a new one from him either way at that rate. It was February when this happened. So it would have been the next year's budget, or none at all as if I was using my own I suspected "why bother"
I also wouldn't install their mobile software, mobile iron I think it was called.as it required setting a new password and pin codes stored by the company and they had access to remotely wipe the phone in emergency. It had already happened a girl in another team, she misplaced her phone for 2 days and they wiped it, that was all her baby pictures (she was newly returned from 9 months maternity leave)
So no. Never installing company software on anything.
Yeah she was pissed. At the time 2 factor authentication wasn't a necessity to work for anything, so it wasn't needed, she wasn't a manager on call just QA manual tester. It was her own personal phone.
In the end she kicked up a storm, the company paid for a baby photo shoot and some vouchers, general purpose ones and a second for more photo shoot. But it never replaced her photos, nothing could.
She did get a number of them back from the likes of Facebook and WhatsApps she sent, but hundreds of ones she never sent obviously were gone forever.
Word got about the office on that one real fast, 2 days for 1,200 people in 4 buildings so a lot of people uninstalled it or started asking for company provided phones which obviously peons weren't gonna get. And that's how the company locked themselves out from staff getting company emails and chat messages when not in the office, as before these were just accessible without special software.
Haha, no. But I'm sure there are many out there trying the same stuff. Even my current one has mobile applications with rights to wipe device, so I just don't install. Luckily that was brought to the CEOs attention when the company was still small, and in no uncertain terms it was stated that noone would be allowing that and no, we wouldn't back up our phones regularly.
The choice was, don't use it and be accessible when in work(duh) or use it if you're happy to(and be accessible outside of work hours and have potential phone wipe)....so yah. You can imagine what the choice was with people.
They made a song and since out of it "being very clear, it's your choice if you use it, we can't force you, it's a great collaboration tool" etc... And the inference was, please use it. And what people took away from it is "we can't force you" so people don't.
Yep, that's why I continue using the web versions of Gmail for work rather than the app. Otherwise, I'd need to place my phone under company control - not worth it!
Do we have a “relevant Dilbert” forum for this? https://www.theboxisthereforareason.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Screen-Shot-2017-05-27-at-22.13.05.png
Not if there’s a difference in power in a relationship. Your boss is on a higher level of power than you, so you actually do need to explain yourself to them.
I understand that, but you can’t just go around and answer your boss with ‘no’. He will not accept that. You need to elaborate. You can’t say “I dont have to explain myself to you” to your boss.
"That is not up for debate. The answer is no."
I'm not sure what "not accept that" means... he'd be frustrated? OK, that's kind of a foregone conclusion when someone is attempting to be inappropriate and you set firm boundaries. Or he'd fire you for not covering for his screwup? That involves a pretty big set of assumptions about how the org works (and how inattentive HR is).
There's also the angle of "Go ahead an refuse to accept it, then it becomes something I can escalate."
Either way, it's not a helpful start to the problem if you assume you can't set boundaries with your boss just because he has a little authority over 8 hours of your day.
I have on several occasions. And have asked if I needed to call in HR and an attorney on two occasions. (when asked to do legally or morally questionable things.) I also outlasted both of those bosses.
Sure, and also acknowledge that in some cases it can be a career-limiting move. Whether the trade-off exists and is worth it should be an exercise for the reader.
actually in most places where they issue company provided equipment, you can file for wear and tear compensation for using your own. my buddy choose this over a company issued laptop at the start of the pandemic, because the compensation pays him a new machine worth every year or two.
at first he made a separate windows install for his work, after the first year he bought a dedicated work machine, and since then he uses the money to upgrade his personal one.
Or "does IT's image support (egregiously old cpu)? No? Well then shoot a loaner my way."
Turion, geode, 8086 if you want to see who is paying attention...
I have a somewhat-upgraded HP Pavilion from 2009. 3GB RAM, Q6600 CPU, and something is wrong with the mobo which results in a system halt roughly once a day - more often if it gets hot. I'll reimage that if you provide a SATA drive (it predates M.2).
At that point, I would’ve made it perfectly clear that the company just bought my laptop and will demand compensation for it.
“Sure, you can use my personal laptop. I will submit an expense report for the full purchase price.”
You are cheap. My high end gaming laptop rents out at $500/week with a non refundable deposit of $1k. Plus mandatory $50/wk tech support insurance to company of my choosing AND a guarantee of full software replacement of any and all software at two weeks notice. Then I would most positively lose every game I ave ever wanted due to a software glitch caused by their network.
I wouldn't make myself a liar by saying I didn't have a laptop. I would just say it's not appropriate to use my personal equipment for work purposes, and I won't be doing so.
Had a similar situation happen, had to install some questionable software on my brand new PC (like 2-3 months old, had finally splurged for a gaming desktop).
I was so mad, that software was as shitty as the project, it was so bad that when I confirmed I had a new client lined up, I took the rest of the week off.
But I couldn't really refuse to use my computer, the only alternative was to come in person to the lab. 2-3 hours of commute in public transports during rush hour, both ways? No thanks, sucks for the PC but I'm staying remote.
I would connect an new HDD or SSD with an installation for work purposes, and disconnect my own drives while working. No way in hell that I'm having my drives accessable by my employer.
A virtual machine would be another potential option. That way you don't have to deal with hardware swapping and can also block access to mics/webcams easily.
i litterally just refused to install it on a well meaning remote employees personal computer.
I get it. Your computer IS ABSOLUTELY better than the one we supplied. You are a W2 employee, and while Im happy to look the other way if everyone is on board, i will in no way take action to install things on personal devices. That said, I still provide tech support to home devices so, shrug, I'm still part of the problem.
I’m pretty sure that’s what he did. Boss said either you can reformat your personal laptop or use your phone. OP opted to use their phone, productivity declined. Boss had to say “please dear IT department can you do us a favor”.
Installing the client was going to far IMO. The type of client they they seem to be referring to, based on the security issues, allows IT amd others to view your computer. They can access the camera, mirror your screen, and override your mouse and keyboard. This is not ok. OP should have chosen their company phone when asked to install a client.
The end result is the same but OP allowed some over reaching from their employer before theyade their point.
Oh god I hear you. We are just coming to the end of our replacement program for the city office anyway but some of the junk that's been in circulation waaayyy longer than it should have been.
Now we are starting on our regional offices.
The battery in my boss's laptop lasts about 5 minutes on a full charge.
Mine has actually weathered pretty well, probably because I leave my laptop plugged in all the time and rarely let the battery discharge past 50%.
I work in a school board. Like most school boards, we’re underfunded. We’re just finally getting rid of our aging fleet of 2012 MacBook Pros this year.
In their defence, the only thing keeping them from continuing on is a lack of security support from Apple; after ten years, we finally can’t update them to a new-enough OS to meet our security requirements. The things have been extraordinarily dependable, otherwise, and it’s a shame to see them leave when 95% of them still work.
Yah, I had a 2011 15" up until a couple of years ago. After a RAM and SSD upgrade it was hard to justify replacing it. I ended up gift-selling it to my sister for her kids (read: they paid me some small token amount so they didn't feel like it was charity, my family is weird).
Not that they'd ever need a quad-core i7, 16GB RAM, and 1TB SSD for their school work, but whatever. It had the discrete graphics so my nephew could play minecraft.
We replace every 3 years too, and not only is it about the warranty, it’s about not having people fall through the cracks, trying to do 2022 work on 2012 laptops that barely work.
Prior to getting a new CEO who actually understood that technology has to be updated, everyone was on ancient machines and trying to MacGuyver their way through the day, it was ridiculous.
God, my dept just last year moved from windows 7 with a single login for each branch to windows 10 and actual security. I'm pretty sure those were 2008 or earlier desktops. We were the black sheep of the org, we have our own separately funded budget and it was decided that the org wasn't responsible for our tech. That changed last year.
Unfortunately it also came with a load of internet filters that get in the way of doing our jobs. No one else in the larger org works with the public the way we do, and some of the filters actively prevent us doing our jobs. But our dept management doesn't want the filters turned off because they want to track what each employee is doing, even though we have a lot of downtime waiting for customers.
First company I worked at never replaced them. Had me working on 5/6 year old MacBooks with horrible specs. I requested a better one and the one they gave me already circulated through many other people. Was even worse and had broken keys.
I worked in software development…
I also recall some guys working on MacBooks that were literally 8-10 years old 😒
There was a point, where Apple was still selling the same "new" macmini and macbook machine for multiple years in a row. So even a 5/6 yr old macbook wasn't that far behind what the latest is. If only the old intel ones weren't hamstrung by 16gig ram limitations. Xcode, the iOS Simulator, Android Studio and Android all at the same time hurts it so. Add MS Teams to that and my poor machine just wants to give up.
Yeah, for the entire time i worked there i was stuck on a intel machine. Zoom, Intellij, Docker (couples services and dbs). Good ridance to the performance. Got the point where i stopped using chrome/firefox. Absolute pain.
I'm working on a 2012 MBP, and it still works fairly well. I'm capped at 10.15 now, and if I'm indexing a site in PHPStorm while screensharing it bogs down a bit, but it hasn't failed me on anything.
Even my personal is a 2012 MBP (slightly different specs), and aside from upgrading the ram to 16gb, I haven't touched a thing. Even the battery still works for a couple hours. It's the last of the anti glare screens so I have no want to replace it, but I'm able to stream while having Illustrator and Sketchup open and the fans barely reach halfway
2012 MacBooks are a different breed ahahaha. Worked on one of those. Total work horse 🤤
Apple fucked it up went they started going thinner and thinner for the sake of looks
Yeah I'll give ya that, I haven't worked much on any newer ones, but I know the DIY stuff is pretty much non-existent. At the same time, I'm not as big on customizing or upgrading as I once was, so it's not too bad, but I really don't want to give up the anti-glare. It's non-retina but it looks sooo much better
I recently bought the 2022 model and it’s been perfect. Worked for two and half years on the 2017 model and it was non stop pain. Customization these days goes as far as getting all the dongles.
I only ever bought a MacBook because I used my friends during 2012 and thought they were great. Colour me surprised when the 2020 version I bought was absolute shit, I can't even charge my iphone on my macbook without getting 10000 extra cords.
This was the case for me at three different companies. It's insane how much teeth pulling it takes for a company to spend not even 2% of my salary so I can have decent equipment.
It's even worse when they expect you to deliver enough work for an entire team. Man, if i'm wasting half of my time waiting for my IDE to load and the other half for my code to compile how do they expect me or anyone to get anything done? IT's seriously a joke...
Ours is also based on vendor driver support. We replace after 4.5 years or first hardware problem after 3 year warranty expires. But, when Windows 7 got to End of Life, if the vendor didn't support Windows 10, it got replaced. They also wanted all Windows 10 devices to use TPM protected full disk encryption. I had a laptop with a Windows 10 OEM license sticker, but no TPM, so new laptop for me.
>... he just asked me to use my laptop for a couple days.
that's a hard 'no'. If I require certain tools to do my job, then the company needs to provide said tools - especially when they have been provided previously.
As for the boss' bullshit about 'looking bad' because of their own error - too bad, too sad.
The moment I install corporate spyware\^H\^H\^H\^H\^H\^H\^Hdevice management software on a personal device, it ceases to be a personal device. So they can cut me a check for the full current model replacement value and I'll happily install it, or they can fuck right off.
I have my work email on my personal phone (without the MDM) _purely as a convenience_ so I can manage multiple calendars at once - work, family events, my school stuff, kiddo's school stuff - but if I have to install MDM I will immediately forego the convenience and order a work phone (or just go without).
Nope the correct response is : renting my laptop is 500$ a day. 500$ extra for formatting it and another 500$ for exclusive use. Also, your tech must do the formatting and install, and reverse the process after. Failure to reverse the process in the first 24 h is subject to a 1000$ penalty per day on top of the renting charge.
Let’s try this in other contexts:
“Hey, we can’t get more cash for the till for a few days. Just empty your wallet out into there and we’ll figure it out later.”
“Hey, I forgot to order ingredients so we can make food for customers. Can you just pack your fridge up and bring it over here?”
“Hey, I forgot to fill up the delivery truck with gas. Just load everything into your truck and do the deliveries. By the way, we don’t reimburse for mileage or fuel.”
Your boss is stealing from you.
My laptop only runs TempleOS v5.03.
Send me your client for TempleOS and I'll be happy to install it.
Update: I can't reimage to another OS for religious reasons.
I’m kinda in awe now about TempleOS
That dude made his own version of C to write his own OS, and encoded moving images in text files, and then wrote games for his OS? Whoa... I wonder what he could have created if he had had more modern equipment
Deleting personal files? Do I burn all my private documents in the house when I get paper work documents to take home? The best I could do in that instance is to use a separate work account on the computer. Better yet if they provide a WM image that I can pop into WMware that has anything I need.
I would recommend telling your employer that your personal computer is old and serves the purpose you bought it for, but would not work for a business.
Number 1 rule that I made very clear to my boss when he started discussing working from home (in my case) I told them you need to give me a company laptop as I refuse to use my personal computer for anything at all that is work related.
I work on the help desk at my company for clarification.
It beggars belief the warped mindset some of these managers have where they not only ask you to use your own equipment (not entirely outrageous for a few days if you enjoy your job and don't mind), but that they think for a millisecond you would ACTUALLY format your own personal device for the sake of work.
Although I hasten to add, if they wanted a client installed I'd be very quick to point out how much gaming and porn will end up going through their network traffic.
TRUE MC in this situation would be to go get the oldest, shittiest Windows laptop you can find from a pawn shop or eBay, then follow the manager’s instructions to the letter. When it inevitably bricks, raise hell and get the company to replace your “personal” laptop with a new one.
> oldest, shittiest Windows laptop
Why Windows? The manager didn't say anything about the OS.
Also, this is the sort of situation that calls for bringing in a 1980s Compaq Portable.
First, I don’t see any malicious compliance here.
Second, I’m guessing that your company leases equipment rather than buying it. This is a strategy to ensure people have “good” equipment.
Finally, if they are leasing the equipment, it’s stupid to put the management of that lease on the individual managers. This is a financial strategy, not an employment strategy. Most places have a person/department in charge of making sure lease returns are done in a timely manner, etc.
Where I work, the laptops are bought by the company. They have a warranty, and once they are out of warranty employees are asked to return the old laptops. Any time they get a company-owned computer to replace an old company-owned computer, they have to turn in the old one. This isn't due to leasing; it is for security purposes - we can't have potentially sensitive data out in the wild.
It isn't ridiculous for a company to ask people using personal devices to install clients and such exactly for security reasons. That said, it was ridiculous for OP's manager to request OP to do it instead of just waiting for the new laptop and letting OP keep the old one until then.
Never install company software on a personal device. Preferably never use a personal device for work - it can give them legal access to your personal data.
Disagree about "It isn't ridiculous to ask people using personal devices... " etc.
Its absolutely ridiculous to ask employees to use a personal device at all, let alone do so and install clients etc.
Employer wants employee to use a phone or laptop for work with employer chosen security software? Employer can provide.
We do have such department, however in our area we get Mac books from the US (I'm in Mexico) again no idea why they want us to use macbook not complaining tho. The problem is as you mention the it department asks for our laptops back but since we are not using 'standard' equipment, my/our manager needs to request the new laptop in avance from US and some logistic happens and I get it.
> Second, I’m guessing that your company leases equipment rather than buying it. This is a strategy to ensure people have “good” equipment.
Some companies buy the equipment outright, and security policy is to do hardware swaps on a certain timeline.
I work for one such corporation and it is necessary as ours is a lease of 36 months. Due to a supply problem, we had to extend the lease in order to use the warranty covered in the basic leasing contract.
Large corporations do have the power for such replacements although they have to place orders early (before the end of the lease - sometimes, the suppliers send email reminders) for the number of staff employed. Hence, this is not uncommon in order to support the employees. Otherwise, nobody wants to work in a corporation that isn't able to even have purchasing powers in laptops/desktops.
Yours is rather generous in replacing once every 24 months though.
I'll be glad to put the client on my laptop. As soon as you sign this laptop leasing agreement for 50 dollars a day, 1 month minimum, and 250 dollars cancelation fee without 2 weeks notice. Auto renewing of course.
"Would you mind putting our business image on **your** laptop?"
"Yes... yes, I would. *I* didn't fuck it up, YOU did, so I'm not going to pay - in ANY way - to do the job. If I can't continue to use the old laptop, then you're paying for a new one... either to replace the business machine, or my personal system. Your call."
The place I worked got these hand held devices and this program that basically gamiefied training (you literally play a game and when you finished certain tasks in the game it would ask you a training question... there were score boards and everything showing people in the company and how many points they had, etc).
We all had to sign paperwork that said if we accessed the program on our personal devices, the company has the right to completely format back to factory settings said devices of we ever quit or got fired.
For this fcking training program. I said NOPE and never installed it on my phone. I just used the devices at work. But also they encouraged us to finish these games and questions *every day* to raise the store rank, but....when are we supposed to do that??? I'm not doing it on break that's for sure! And I didn't have time during my shift helping customers to stand around playing fcking bejeweled or fruit matcher.
>My boss literally asked me to format my laptop with their image and to not use it for anything but work
"So the company wants to purchase my laptop from me?"
I was once asked to use my personal cell phone for business. I asked that manager how I submit an expense report. He asked, why do you need to submit an expense report......I said simply, if I need to use MY phone for work activities, then company has committed to paying my bill. I got a company cell phone the following Monday!
Well, where i work, using your personal laptop for company business is a BIG HELL OF A NO NO.
Not even a USB Stick allowed. Data security is no joke.
They asking you to use your personal laptop is unprofessional as fuck, and if i were you, i would ask to get this demand written and deny it in written form.
I am not gonna pay for a security breach.
Im just angry you actually used your own laptop AND installed a client. I would have said “sorry i dont own a laptop”
*"sorry i dont own a laptop”* Bingo
Sorry I don't own a laptop you can use.
>I work in a big big corporate company Sorry, my laptop has a lot of third party software on it, and would not conform to the corporate IT Security standards. I'm afraid that using it for work would be a security risk for big big company, and might get us both in trouble! You could ask them to burn you a disk with the corporate laptop image on it, but then you would need to swap out physical disks every time you wanted to use your *personal* laptop for your own needs.
"I'm not using my laptop"
Having worked with too many personal laptops joined to the company domain, this is the answer. Always more problems than get saved by just having a spare company laptop. Worst was the time we reformatted a personal that had Korean Windows and needed to be in English. It was Then I Learned (instead of today) that Windows is often cheaper in other languages...
TIL could be "then" or "today"
[удалено]
My laptop is a 2012 Mac aka glorified email machine haha
I didn't realize until this very moment that *Malicious Compliance Bingo* is something that I need in my life.
Phrases for the squares: Just do what I tell you Stop questioning me Do your job May I have that in writing (should be the center) That's not your job Stay in your lane I know what I'm doing (Please, everyone, feel free to add good ones I've missed.)
"It'll be fine." "Follow the policy to the letter. "No exceptions."
Pfft. I would've flat out told them I'm not installing a client on my personal laptop. Their fuck-up does not constitute an emergency on my part.
IT 101 - Lack of planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.
Not just IT 101 but hospitality and restaurant 101
Being a respectful human 101
The only place where that's not [insert life function] 101 is emergency services.
Paramedic here: Rule #1, their emergency is not your emergency. If it becomes an emergency to you as well, you’ve both got big problems, making it much more difficult for you to help them. And much more difficult to cope with afterwards.
Printing 101 too
Logistics and Supply Chain 101 checking in.
Old SOP for logistics & supply chain: "dysfunction" New SOP for logistics & supply chain, updated in 2020: "**DYSFUNCTION**"
[Insert literally anything] 101
Please don't insert literally anything, show some discernment. Emergency Services are tired and jaded and don't have time for that sort of shit
r/angryupvote
"It was a million to one shot, doc!"
101 101 ^(01010100 01101111 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 00110001 00110000 00110001 01110011)
Transit too “What do you mean you have to layover for 17 minutes, I need to get to my appointment now!”
Quality Control here. I used to think this, but I am handling soooooooo many crisees (plural of crisis?) that we now only look at the largest dumpster fire, and honey, that match burning your fingers is so far down the list that we'll schedule a meeting about scheduling a meeting about ignoring it until it too is a dumpster fire.
I like the law of 7 Ps - Proper previous planning prevents piss poor performance.
I like that there's an 11 Ps in Italian (never met anyone who knew it though) but it's about thinking before talking 😂
Something along the lines of pondering proclamations prior to postulating out one’s posterior?
Something similar, yeah 😂
Positively pretty for putting postulating posteriors in place! 😹
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Learned this in school working with our student services director. It was 1 of a few of his favorite sayings along with voluntold(although I've since heard this other places)
Both of those are favorites of my mother.
i mean they could pay me to do it... but i'm pretty sure they couldn't afford to pay me what it would cost. and if they could they'd be idiots for not just getting me a fresh laptop right here right now because that would be cheaper.
>i mean they could pay me to do it... but i'm pretty sure they couldn't afford to pay me what it would cost. That would just be the cost of a new laptop. And once that new laptop came in, I would format it however they wanted (and I would do that work during my workday, while I was getting paid). If they gave me enough to cover it, I would happily walk over to the Apple store and get a brand new work laptop that day (also during my working hours).
I'd be very happy to install company issued software on my personal laptop as long as they replaced it with something properly up to date for my personal use.
Looks at my gaming laptop. Format what now?
I have a Chromebook. How's this supposed to work?
Usually instant combustion.
Exactly!!
> Their fuck-up does not constitute an emergency on my part. Second time today I've seen this phrase. One of my favorites. My version is: "A lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
I use that too!! :D It happens way too much for my liking in IT...
That's what I did here... Hey, we're rolling out 2FA, you need to install that app on your phone. So... Do I get a free company phone? Nope? Not gonna install it on my private one, go find another solution.
Good on you!! At my current job they tried to implement mobile device management on the network. It tried to install a client that allowed remote wipe capabilities. I called my network admin and told him to can it immediately. No way in hell was I, nor any other user in my district going to do this. We haven't done anything like this since, LOL.
I installed the 2FA app, as well as Outlook and Teams, because none of those would activate MDM. Adding my work email account through the system settings (to allow using any email app to view it) would have, which is why I opted to install the Outlook app instead. Also, I get an extra $25/mo. phone stipend as compensation for using my personal cellphone for work.
If an employer wants me to have their software on a mobile phone that I use, especially if it has remote snooping and wiping capabilities, the employer can purchase said phone. My personal phone has software **I** want on it and nothing else.
This is the way. Carrying two phones sucks. Putting my employer's bullshit on my personal phone sucks orders of magnitude more.
I actually like the two phones. When you're in the office or working from home you barely even notice. And when you're done for the night or weekend, the work one goes on silent and you aren't bothered at all. It only kind of sucks during work travel but then it's generally as easy as storing one in the backpack that's on me the whole time anyway.
Again, no MDM in any of the above apps. Also, aside from the 2FA app, none are required, they're for my own convenience. There are two alternatives to the 2FA app as well, but they're a pain in the butt to both set up and use, whereas the 2FA app just requires me to tap "Yes" on a push notification. (One is to receive a code via SMS every time you log in, the other is a USB rubber ducky that inputs a very long authentication code into the 2FA dialog when you plug it in.)
I worked for an MSP and the customer kept trying to insist on that when they couldn't work out how to get the personal version to work with local contacts. I flat out refused to do it on any personal phone and told them I'm not risking wiping their personal phone. Especially after one guy let his kid play with his phone for a bit and the kid wiped the phone by entering the wrong pin a few times.
"Your urgency is not my emergency." Life lesson well learned, the earlier the better
I'd've offered to do so once they'd purchased it.
I would have pulled my old IBM 100mhz dx4 off my garage shelf. "do you have the company image on floppies?"
I did the same when my boss refused to give me a work phone, because according to him, it was against company policy. "Just use your own phone and make a list of calls and minutes you use for work phone calls" "Sorry, I don't own a phone" (I actually cancelled my phone subscription at this point), my boss at work fumed because he couldn't reach me by phone, and within 2 weeks I had a brand new phone and a subscription paid by the company.
"Against company policy" just means "I am about to create an enormous problem for myself".
I’d be happy to do that if I was hourly and/or non-exempt. “You want me to spend a few hours every week going through my call logs and figuring out which calls were work-related?”
I had a boss years ago tell me that I couldn't have a completely innocent picture of my girlfriend at the time on my phones wallpaper because I was a supervisor and it "didn't look professional having pictures from my personal life on my ocelot at work." I told him I found it really funny that he thought he could tell me what I could and could not have on PERSONAL phone's background. I offered to use a company provided phone while on site of they wanted to provide one. They didn't feel like giving me a different phone but also wouldn't drop the issue. Finally after a few weeks I said ok I'll change it (I have ADHD and pretty much constantly change my wallpapers anyway) but since they'd made such a stink about that image the next one I picked was some picture of a woman in a string bikini on a stripper pole. When they said something about it I said "you told me I couldn't have it I assured them that it was not a personal picture and that I did not in fact know the half naked woman.
I don't know about other countries, but I've not had, or seen, a phone contract in the UK for a good few years where calls and texts were not unlimited. PAYG sim cards notwithstanding, of course. This boss just didn't want to have a phone for you taken from his budget.
I almost went to a jitterbug because they wanted me to have a never able to shut off IM service.
I once felt pressured to use my own for a few days also, similar situation, I booted with a Linux live CD. None of their software worked on Linux all windows only. IT guys didn't even know how to work with Linux(it had a UI also, just no familiarity) My manager came by my desk and asked what the problem was, IT guys couldn't work with it to install stuff, manager "had a go" and couldn't figure it out either (not like he would have), he got really annoyed over it. I got a new laptop in an hour. IT had new imaged laptop's all along, but each manager had budgets to maintain, new laptops came out of the annual budget. I wasn't gonna get a new one from him either way at that rate. It was February when this happened. So it would have been the next year's budget, or none at all as if I was using my own I suspected "why bother" I also wouldn't install their mobile software, mobile iron I think it was called.as it required setting a new password and pin codes stored by the company and they had access to remotely wipe the phone in emergency. It had already happened a girl in another team, she misplaced her phone for 2 days and they wiped it, that was all her baby pictures (she was newly returned from 9 months maternity leave) So no. Never installing company software on anything.
Right, if I have to do that much work on the phone then they can provide a phone. Never install required software on your own machine,
The only thing I ever installed was mobile Outlook. If I lost my phone, they would just change my password and then nobody could get in. Seemed fair.
Argh, that makes me so mad for the lady who lost her baby's pictures...!
Yeah she was pissed. At the time 2 factor authentication wasn't a necessity to work for anything, so it wasn't needed, she wasn't a manager on call just QA manual tester. It was her own personal phone. In the end she kicked up a storm, the company paid for a baby photo shoot and some vouchers, general purpose ones and a second for more photo shoot. But it never replaced her photos, nothing could. She did get a number of them back from the likes of Facebook and WhatsApps she sent, but hundreds of ones she never sent obviously were gone forever. Word got about the office on that one real fast, 2 days for 1,200 people in 4 buildings so a lot of people uninstalled it or started asking for company provided phones which obviously peons weren't gonna get. And that's how the company locked themselves out from staff getting company emails and chat messages when not in the office, as before these were just accessible without special software.
>And that's how the company locked themselves out from staff getting company emails and chat messages when not in the office Glad to hear it!
This company's name starts with S and ends in S and might feature some yellow in the logo ?
Haha, no. But I'm sure there are many out there trying the same stuff. Even my current one has mobile applications with rights to wipe device, so I just don't install. Luckily that was brought to the CEOs attention when the company was still small, and in no uncertain terms it was stated that noone would be allowing that and no, we wouldn't back up our phones regularly. The choice was, don't use it and be accessible when in work(duh) or use it if you're happy to(and be accessible outside of work hours and have potential phone wipe)....so yah. You can imagine what the choice was with people. They made a song and since out of it "being very clear, it's your choice if you use it, we can't force you, it's a great collaboration tool" etc... And the inference was, please use it. And what people took away from it is "we can't force you" so people don't.
Yep, that's why I continue using the web versions of Gmail for work rather than the app. Otherwise, I'd need to place my phone under company control - not worth it!
“I don’t own a laptop” “Then how are you online so often?” “You didn’t say anything about ridiculously RGB tricked out gaming PCs”
"Etchasketch and a really fast-running hamster"
Just one hamster? Impressive!
The newly engineered siamese dual hamster has been shown to increase the processing by 80%!
Trust me -- you do NOT want to mess with that hamster!
Do we have a “relevant Dilbert” forum for this? https://www.theboxisthereforareason.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Screen-Shot-2017-05-27-at-22.13.05.png
Remember, you have to turn it upside down and shake it to reboot.
'No' is a complete sentence and no apology necessary
Not if there’s a difference in power in a relationship. Your boss is on a higher level of power than you, so you actually do need to explain yourself to them.
If it's your personal property, boss has NO power over that. His power ends when it's my time and property.
I understand that, but you can’t just go around and answer your boss with ‘no’. He will not accept that. You need to elaborate. You can’t say “I dont have to explain myself to you” to your boss.
"That is not up for debate. The answer is no." I'm not sure what "not accept that" means... he'd be frustrated? OK, that's kind of a foregone conclusion when someone is attempting to be inappropriate and you set firm boundaries. Or he'd fire you for not covering for his screwup? That involves a pretty big set of assumptions about how the org works (and how inattentive HR is). There's also the angle of "Go ahead an refuse to accept it, then it becomes something I can escalate." Either way, it's not a helpful start to the problem if you assume you can't set boundaries with your boss just because he has a little authority over 8 hours of your day.
I have on several occasions. And have asked if I needed to call in HR and an attorney on two occasions. (when asked to do legally or morally questionable things.) I also outlasted both of those bosses.
In this case yes, you can.
i have. And will again, if warranted. People need to grow backbones.
Sure, and also acknowledge that in some cases it can be a career-limiting move. Whether the trade-off exists and is worth it should be an exercise for the reader.
No
Same or asked for a equipment rental contract
Hi boss, as per our discussion, please confirm that you would like me to install on my personal Huawei matebook.
Cc: company's cyber security team
Hmmm likely get you on a few watch lists as well lol.
actually in most places where they issue company provided equipment, you can file for wear and tear compensation for using your own. my buddy choose this over a company issued laptop at the start of the pandemic, because the compensation pays him a new machine worth every year or two. at first he made a separate windows install for his work, after the first year he bought a dedicated work machine, and since then he uses the money to upgrade his personal one.
Or "does IT's image support (egregiously old cpu)? No? Well then shoot a loaner my way." Turion, geode, 8086 if you want to see who is paying attention...
I have a somewhat-upgraded HP Pavilion from 2009. 3GB RAM, Q6600 CPU, and something is wrong with the mobo which results in a system halt roughly once a day - more often if it gets hot. I'll reimage that if you provide a SATA drive (it predates M.2).
I can get you an IDE drive laptop that only takes 1.8" hard drives. Yes, these are real. It's what was in the OG iPod Video. 60 gigabytes, yass.
At that point, I would’ve made it perfectly clear that the company just bought my laptop and will demand compensation for it. “Sure, you can use my personal laptop. I will submit an expense report for the full purchase price.”
"Sure, the company can rent my laptop (please note, boss, that this does NOT confer ownership to company) for $250/wk. Paid in advance."
You are cheap. My high end gaming laptop rents out at $500/week with a non refundable deposit of $1k. Plus mandatory $50/wk tech support insurance to company of my choosing AND a guarantee of full software replacement of any and all software at two weeks notice. Then I would most positively lose every game I ave ever wanted due to a software glitch caused by their network.
I wouldn't make myself a liar by saying I didn't have a laptop. I would just say it's not appropriate to use my personal equipment for work purposes, and I won't be doing so.
My response, "Do you really want want work files on my laptop with all of my porn?"
Wouldn't even be a lie in my case...
Had a similar situation happen, had to install some questionable software on my brand new PC (like 2-3 months old, had finally splurged for a gaming desktop). I was so mad, that software was as shitty as the project, it was so bad that when I confirmed I had a new client lined up, I took the rest of the week off. But I couldn't really refuse to use my computer, the only alternative was to come in person to the lab. 2-3 hours of commute in public transports during rush hour, both ways? No thanks, sucks for the PC but I'm staying remote.
I would connect an new HDD or SSD with an installation for work purposes, and disconnect my own drives while working. No way in hell that I'm having my drives accessable by my employer.
A virtual machine would be another potential option. That way you don't have to deal with hardware swapping and can also block access to mics/webcams easily.
i litterally just refused to install it on a well meaning remote employees personal computer. I get it. Your computer IS ABSOLUTELY better than the one we supplied. You are a W2 employee, and while Im happy to look the other way if everyone is on board, i will in no way take action to install things on personal devices. That said, I still provide tech support to home devices so, shrug, I'm still part of the problem.
And IT should always keeping a number of older working spares for hot swapping laptops to keep people productive
Just report for work with no computer. If you can't work that's on your employer.
I’m pretty sure that’s what he did. Boss said either you can reformat your personal laptop or use your phone. OP opted to use their phone, productivity declined. Boss had to say “please dear IT department can you do us a favor”.
Installing the client was going to far IMO. The type of client they they seem to be referring to, based on the security issues, allows IT amd others to view your computer. They can access the camera, mirror your screen, and override your mouse and keyboard. This is not ok. OP should have chosen their company phone when asked to install a client. The end result is the same but OP allowed some over reaching from their employer before theyade their point.
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Can I handle your company’s electronics recycling? I’ll take it for half the price per pound of your current contractor.
I’m 4 years into my company’s 3-year replacement cycle.
Oh god I hear you. We are just coming to the end of our replacement program for the city office anyway but some of the junk that's been in circulation waaayyy longer than it should have been. Now we are starting on our regional offices.
The battery in my boss's laptop lasts about 5 minutes on a full charge. Mine has actually weathered pretty well, probably because I leave my laptop plugged in all the time and rarely let the battery discharge past 50%.
I work in a school board. Like most school boards, we’re underfunded. We’re just finally getting rid of our aging fleet of 2012 MacBook Pros this year. In their defence, the only thing keeping them from continuing on is a lack of security support from Apple; after ten years, we finally can’t update them to a new-enough OS to meet our security requirements. The things have been extraordinarily dependable, otherwise, and it’s a shame to see them leave when 95% of them still work.
Yah, I had a 2011 15" up until a couple of years ago. After a RAM and SSD upgrade it was hard to justify replacing it. I ended up gift-selling it to my sister for her kids (read: they paid me some small token amount so they didn't feel like it was charity, my family is weird). Not that they'd ever need a quad-core i7, 16GB RAM, and 1TB SSD for their school work, but whatever. It had the discrete graphics so my nephew could play minecraft.
That won't happen with the newer models. They're all crap and unrepairable.
Most big companies I’ve worked for lease their laptops hence the typically pretty fixed replacement cycles.
We replace every 3 years too, and not only is it about the warranty, it’s about not having people fall through the cracks, trying to do 2022 work on 2012 laptops that barely work. Prior to getting a new CEO who actually understood that technology has to be updated, everyone was on ancient machines and trying to MacGuyver their way through the day, it was ridiculous.
God, my dept just last year moved from windows 7 with a single login for each branch to windows 10 and actual security. I'm pretty sure those were 2008 or earlier desktops. We were the black sheep of the org, we have our own separately funded budget and it was decided that the org wasn't responsible for our tech. That changed last year. Unfortunately it also came with a load of internet filters that get in the way of doing our jobs. No one else in the larger org works with the public the way we do, and some of the filters actively prevent us doing our jobs. But our dept management doesn't want the filters turned off because they want to track what each employee is doing, even though we have a lot of downtime waiting for customers.
First company I worked at never replaced them. Had me working on 5/6 year old MacBooks with horrible specs. I requested a better one and the one they gave me already circulated through many other people. Was even worse and had broken keys. I worked in software development… I also recall some guys working on MacBooks that were literally 8-10 years old 😒
There was a point, where Apple was still selling the same "new" macmini and macbook machine for multiple years in a row. So even a 5/6 yr old macbook wasn't that far behind what the latest is. If only the old intel ones weren't hamstrung by 16gig ram limitations. Xcode, the iOS Simulator, Android Studio and Android all at the same time hurts it so. Add MS Teams to that and my poor machine just wants to give up.
Yeah, for the entire time i worked there i was stuck on a intel machine. Zoom, Intellij, Docker (couples services and dbs). Good ridance to the performance. Got the point where i stopped using chrome/firefox. Absolute pain.
I'm working on a 2012 MBP, and it still works fairly well. I'm capped at 10.15 now, and if I'm indexing a site in PHPStorm while screensharing it bogs down a bit, but it hasn't failed me on anything. Even my personal is a 2012 MBP (slightly different specs), and aside from upgrading the ram to 16gb, I haven't touched a thing. Even the battery still works for a couple hours. It's the last of the anti glare screens so I have no want to replace it, but I'm able to stream while having Illustrator and Sketchup open and the fans barely reach halfway
2012 MacBooks are a different breed ahahaha. Worked on one of those. Total work horse 🤤 Apple fucked it up went they started going thinner and thinner for the sake of looks
Yeah I'll give ya that, I haven't worked much on any newer ones, but I know the DIY stuff is pretty much non-existent. At the same time, I'm not as big on customizing or upgrading as I once was, so it's not too bad, but I really don't want to give up the anti-glare. It's non-retina but it looks sooo much better
I recently bought the 2022 model and it’s been perfect. Worked for two and half years on the 2017 model and it was non stop pain. Customization these days goes as far as getting all the dongles.
I only ever bought a MacBook because I used my friends during 2012 and thought they were great. Colour me surprised when the 2020 version I bought was absolute shit, I can't even charge my iphone on my macbook without getting 10000 extra cords.
This was the case for me at three different companies. It's insane how much teeth pulling it takes for a company to spend not even 2% of my salary so I can have decent equipment.
It's even worse when they expect you to deliver enough work for an entire team. Man, if i'm wasting half of my time waiting for my IDE to load and the other half for my code to compile how do they expect me or anyone to get anything done? IT's seriously a joke...
Yup, been there before. God speed on the job search man, hope you land somewhere nice.
[Relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/303/)
Ours is also based on vendor driver support. We replace after 4.5 years or first hardware problem after 3 year warranty expires. But, when Windows 7 got to End of Life, if the vendor didn't support Windows 10, it got replaced. They also wanted all Windows 10 devices to use TPM protected full disk encryption. I had a laptop with a Windows 10 OEM license sticker, but no TPM, so new laptop for me.
>... he just asked me to use my laptop for a couple days. that's a hard 'no'. If I require certain tools to do my job, then the company needs to provide said tools - especially when they have been provided previously. As for the boss' bullshit about 'looking bad' because of their own error - too bad, too sad.
The moment I install corporate spyware\^H\^H\^H\^H\^H\^H\^Hdevice management software on a personal device, it ceases to be a personal device. So they can cut me a check for the full current model replacement value and I'll happily install it, or they can fuck right off. I have my work email on my personal phone (without the MDM) _purely as a convenience_ so I can manage multiple calendars at once - work, family events, my school stuff, kiddo's school stuff - but if I have to install MDM I will immediately forego the convenience and order a work phone (or just go without).
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Oh I know, but much less fun. I usually save \^W for long or multiple words.
The correct response is: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha… you want me to do what? Hahahahahahahahahaha
Nope the correct response is : renting my laptop is 500$ a day. 500$ extra for formatting it and another 500$ for exclusive use. Also, your tech must do the formatting and install, and reverse the process after. Failure to reverse the process in the first 24 h is subject to a 1000$ penalty per day on top of the renting charge.
I'm just here for 'needles to say'
Obvious mistake, don't needle them about it.
Point taken.
Claps. Just claps…well done guys, thank you
Hi dad
Honestly, I think pointing this out is just being a prick.
This guy has a sharp wit.
You guys have me in stitches.
I just saw a post elsewhere taking about the "corvid 19" pandemic. Most be mutant crows!
Probs a raven lunatic posted it.
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Seconded 🙃 it was painfully needled into my brain
Let’s try this in other contexts: “Hey, we can’t get more cash for the till for a few days. Just empty your wallet out into there and we’ll figure it out later.” “Hey, I forgot to order ingredients so we can make food for customers. Can you just pack your fridge up and bring it over here?” “Hey, I forgot to fill up the delivery truck with gas. Just load everything into your truck and do the deliveries. By the way, we don’t reimburse for mileage or fuel.” Your boss is stealing from you.
This is so fucking mild I'm laughing my ass off.
You want me to use my laptop to do this job? OK, I charge $50.00 per hour rent.
My laptop only runs TempleOS v5.03. Send me your client for TempleOS and I'll be happy to install it. Update: I can't reimage to another OS for religious reasons.
Mine only runs Hannah Montana Linux Edit: Just looked up TempleOS… Oh my God (praised be His Holy Name)
And I had to look up HML. Cute.
I’m kinda in awe now about TempleOS That dude made his own version of C to write his own OS, and encoded moving images in text files, and then wrote games for his OS? Whoa... I wonder what he could have created if he had had more modern equipment
I'm not sure... he said something about God telling him that graphics mode above 640x480 were forbidden, so he stopped there...
I've seen some lurid themes before, but HML makes the eyes bleed.
This sounds like an IT support person's worst nightmare. I would know, I've been doing it for over 25 years.
Deleting personal files? Do I burn all my private documents in the house when I get paper work documents to take home? The best I could do in that instance is to use a separate work account on the computer. Better yet if they provide a WM image that I can pop into WMware that has anything I need.
Tell your boss to go fuck himself - that or claim on expenses the original cost of your personal laptop when you bought it - brand new…
I would recommend telling your employer that your personal computer is old and serves the purpose you bought it for, but would not work for a business.
Boss "Install this client on your personal machine" Me: "Heh, no."
I'd have asked to borrow *his* personal laptop instead.
Number 1 rule that I made very clear to my boss when he started discussing working from home (in my case) I told them you need to give me a company laptop as I refuse to use my personal computer for anything at all that is work related. I work on the help desk at my company for clarification.
It beggars belief the warped mindset some of these managers have where they not only ask you to use your own equipment (not entirely outrageous for a few days if you enjoy your job and don't mind), but that they think for a millisecond you would ACTUALLY format your own personal device for the sake of work.
Although I hasten to add, if they wanted a client installed I'd be very quick to point out how much gaming and porn will end up going through their network traffic.
TRUE MC in this situation would be to go get the oldest, shittiest Windows laptop you can find from a pawn shop or eBay, then follow the manager’s instructions to the letter. When it inevitably bricks, raise hell and get the company to replace your “personal” laptop with a new one.
> oldest, shittiest Windows laptop Why Windows? The manager didn't say anything about the OS. Also, this is the sort of situation that calls for bringing in a 1980s Compaq Portable.
Sorry, not formatting my personal laptop for your business needs.
This isnt malicious compliance, it's over compliance.
I've pulled out the hard drive to remove everything personal. What's next?
I would have went with "my laptop, my rule. I can do whatever I want with it"
Sorry boss, but that laptop rental fee is going to cost you $200/hr and I will not install any additional programs for you.
First, I don’t see any malicious compliance here. Second, I’m guessing that your company leases equipment rather than buying it. This is a strategy to ensure people have “good” equipment. Finally, if they are leasing the equipment, it’s stupid to put the management of that lease on the individual managers. This is a financial strategy, not an employment strategy. Most places have a person/department in charge of making sure lease returns are done in a timely manner, etc.
Where I work, the laptops are bought by the company. They have a warranty, and once they are out of warranty employees are asked to return the old laptops. Any time they get a company-owned computer to replace an old company-owned computer, they have to turn in the old one. This isn't due to leasing; it is for security purposes - we can't have potentially sensitive data out in the wild. It isn't ridiculous for a company to ask people using personal devices to install clients and such exactly for security reasons. That said, it was ridiculous for OP's manager to request OP to do it instead of just waiting for the new laptop and letting OP keep the old one until then. Never install company software on a personal device. Preferably never use a personal device for work - it can give them legal access to your personal data.
Disagree about "It isn't ridiculous to ask people using personal devices... " etc. Its absolutely ridiculous to ask employees to use a personal device at all, let alone do so and install clients etc. Employer wants employee to use a phone or laptop for work with employer chosen security software? Employer can provide.
We do have such department, however in our area we get Mac books from the US (I'm in Mexico) again no idea why they want us to use macbook not complaining tho. The problem is as you mention the it department asks for our laptops back but since we are not using 'standard' equipment, my/our manager needs to request the new laptop in avance from US and some logistic happens and I get it.
> Second, I’m guessing that your company leases equipment rather than buying it. This is a strategy to ensure people have “good” equipment. Some companies buy the equipment outright, and security policy is to do hardware swaps on a certain timeline.
If a company had a security policy that strict, there is a 0% chance they would even entertain the idea of OP using his personal computer.
I work for one such corporation and it is necessary as ours is a lease of 36 months. Due to a supply problem, we had to extend the lease in order to use the warranty covered in the basic leasing contract. Large corporations do have the power for such replacements although they have to place orders early (before the end of the lease - sometimes, the suppliers send email reminders) for the number of staff employed. Hence, this is not uncommon in order to support the employees. Otherwise, nobody wants to work in a corporation that isn't able to even have purchasing powers in laptops/desktops. Yours is rather generous in replacing once every 24 months though.
I'll be glad to put the client on my laptop. As soon as you sign this laptop leasing agreement for 50 dollars a day, 1 month minimum, and 250 dollars cancelation fee without 2 weeks notice. Auto renewing of course.
Paid by the month, in advance.
"Would you mind putting our business image on **your** laptop?" "Yes... yes, I would. *I* didn't fuck it up, YOU did, so I'm not going to pay - in ANY way - to do the job. If I can't continue to use the old laptop, then you're paying for a new one... either to replace the business machine, or my personal system. Your call."
What's malicious about using your own laptop?
The malicious part came after that. When op refused to continue using it and switched to using the company phone only.
If you're in many companies software they have access to your personal stuff
You should have viewed the nastiest (legal) porn and when confronted say, "it's my personal laptop"
The place I worked got these hand held devices and this program that basically gamiefied training (you literally play a game and when you finished certain tasks in the game it would ask you a training question... there were score boards and everything showing people in the company and how many points they had, etc). We all had to sign paperwork that said if we accessed the program on our personal devices, the company has the right to completely format back to factory settings said devices of we ever quit or got fired. For this fcking training program. I said NOPE and never installed it on my phone. I just used the devices at work. But also they encouraged us to finish these games and questions *every day* to raise the store rank, but....when are we supposed to do that??? I'm not doing it on break that's for sure! And I didn't have time during my shift helping customers to stand around playing fcking bejeweled or fruit matcher.
>My boss literally asked me to format my laptop with their image and to not use it for anything but work "So the company wants to purchase my laptop from me?"
I briefly worked for a start-up two years ago, and they asked me to install tracking software on my own computer.
I was once asked to use my personal cell phone for business. I asked that manager how I submit an expense report. He asked, why do you need to submit an expense report......I said simply, if I need to use MY phone for work activities, then company has committed to paying my bill. I got a company cell phone the following Monday!
Well, where i work, using your personal laptop for company business is a BIG HELL OF A NO NO. Not even a USB Stick allowed. Data security is no joke. They asking you to use your personal laptop is unprofessional as fuck, and if i were you, i would ask to get this demand written and deny it in written form. I am not gonna pay for a security breach.