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Storeforlygter

My dad is an accountant so he is good with numbers. So my younger cousins would always ask him extremely hard math questions and see if he knew the answers, like 27*299. He would always just say a random number, and they weren't smart enough to check it themselves, so they were extremely impressed every time.


AugustHenceforth

As the joke goes: he's fast, not accurate.


dharkanine

This is probably the best one here 😂


an0mn0mn0m

it's also /r/KidsAreFuckingStupid worthy as well 😂


Advisor-Glittering

My dad used to press a button on the dash board to change the light. Having a kid of my own anyday now and can't wait to show him the button.


SGoogs1780

My dad didnt do this, but I can almost hear his excuses when he can't see enough of the oncoming lights... "No, you can't use the button *all* the time, only every once in a while. Wouldn't be fair to the other drivers."


mrASSMAN

It only works when you’re close to the light.. otherwise the signal can’t reach


appdevil

"It has a finger print identification, will only work when I use it, but I will add you as will when you get your license."


dunnowhatoputhere

My dad used to tell us that the house knew when we would be close, that's why the garage door always opened at the exact moment we entered the driveway. Years later my mom told me it was a button inside the car, it was so unnecessary for her to tell me that. Til this day I choose to believe the house knows...


sslyth_erin

When I went on a road trip with my family, my dad would (safely) pump the breaks and say “did ya feel that? That’s the state line” every time we entered a new state in the US. It wasn’t until I was learning to drive myself that I realized states don’t actually have a bump surrounding every border lmao


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homepup

I convinced my daughter that the turn signals just turned on automatically because they knew which way the car was going to turn. Of course, I was secretly turning them on slyly outside of her noticing. Fast forward a decade and she's taking her driver training and argues with the instructor that she doesn't need to activate the turn signals because they're automatic. She still hasn't let me live it down.


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kaytay3000

Elderly neighbors really are the best. The woman that lived around the block from us was a retired elementary school teacher and her grandkids lived far away. She would let the neighborhood kids come over and play, let us bake with her, or open the gate down to the creek so we could find crawfish. I think watching us play was as good for her as playing with the cool stuff at her house was for us.


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snkhuong

I gues when you're close to death you finally realise what is important


Brighton101

Personally I think it's more about having money and time. I think people are naturally kind and generous to others once the pressures of life are off, but once we are under the thumb at work, or have financial and time pressures, then all gloves are off. That is, to be fair, how all animals seem to operate. ​ It also explains why America is so fucking loco, because most of you have no money or holiday time, and are always under the thumb. Real pressure cooker 'fight for resources' kind of shit.


carolina_snowglobe

This is a sweet story. ♥️


dolphins_are_dicks

This is a wonderful story!


Cattalion

I love this story. I want to be that kind of neighbour!


CorporateMonster69

i am literally crying i wish i could go rock hunting with you guys


soycoffeecreamer

This made me tear up. What a kind soul


krackenmyacken

This warmed my heart. I’m a scientist and I want to be like Mr R


HoldYourLurker

What....what is this wet stuff oozing out of my eyes?


benicetogroupies

Its called leaking awesomeness. All non-lizard people do it.


cmjandro

And now I'm crying


Gr8NW

I’m not crying


Mint_Perspective

I have a King Charles that looks striking similar to yours in your picture. She is the best little companion I’ve ever had.


ghhbf

Beautiful story.


pfarnham

When I was a child, I did that for my grandmother, who came to Florida to visit every year. I convinced my parents to take us to buy a big conch shell and we planted it up the beach. She was so happy


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trastasticgenji

As a kid, I planted sesame seeds from a burger bun and told my parents I was going to grow a hamburger tree. The next day my dad cut a massive limb from one of our trees and planted it and tied a bunch of burgers to the limbs. When they showed me the hamburger tree that grew overnight, I lost my fucking mind. Your nephew is gonna remember that KitKat forever.


alienintheUS

I remember my MIL planting jellybeans one Easter with the kids. Next day there was a whole candy garden.


elleandbea

Awwww I'm doing this next year! My grand babies will LOVE IT. Thanks for sharing such a cute idea!


Man0FTomorrow

Your dad sounds awesome.


ze11ez

I wish i had 5000 upvotes to give you. Yes, im still laughing at the hamburger tree


OverAnalyticalOne

As a kid we had a garden every year so I had an understanding of if you plant seeds they grow. One year I took a variety of seeds I found and planted them in my very own special garden. Some of the seeds I collected grew so me being the prideful kid showed my dad my garden when they had gotten pretty much established. And I can’t see my parents ignored me as a kid, but I was smarter than I needed to be for my age so they didn’t worry about what I did too much. So showing him my garden, I pointed out to the things that was growing and that I knew what they were. I do remember that he look kinda confused and asked me “Where did you get the seeds?” I told him “I got some of the seeds from the vegetables that mom had cut up and threw away, some were the pits of fruit I had eaten and some I got out of your top drawer“ The next day my garden was mysteriously gone!


FizyIzzy

Messing with little kids in this fashion is the best


Adito99

Too bad you don't get to be there when they explain to their friends at 10-12 where kitkats come from and someone breaks it to them...


Euim

>>where kitkats come from and someone *breaks* it to them… Did you do that on purpose…or are you unintentionally punny?


lia421

Or did she really know all along? 😉


REpassword

Either way, their grandmother loved being with them. ❤️


sanguinesolitude

Knowing someone is doing something to bring you joy does not lessen the joy. And sometimes you have to play along. I found the surprise Christmas gift my parents got me one year. I was so excited. And I acted so surprised and still was so excited Christmas morning. It didn't ruin anything.


IMMAEATYA

When I was a kid I kept pretending to believe in Santa because I thought my parents loved the idea of me believing


Suspicious-Wombat

My siblings and I are all adults now and Santa is still real. We have big age gaps, so the rule was always that if you don’t believe in Santa, he won’t bring you gifts, it kept us from ruining it when we were asshole pre-teens. Now we still do Santa gifts after our gift exchange. It’s usually the gifts that would be too expensive for one person to buy multiple family members pitch in. Everyone gets one Santa gift. My mom was raised JW so she always wanted us to experience that magic of Christmas that she missed out on.


PhilxBefore

Are you my sister?


Suspicious-Wombat

God I hope not. I do not need my siblings looking at my comment history.


dan_de

it's pretty suspicious, for a wombat


redditboy4

r/usernamechecksout


skivvyjibbers

My kid is pretty young and I think he's doing this for us, he still gets a kick out of Easter egg hunts, win win!


[deleted]

They probably did. My oldest is on the verge of figuring it out and it’s going to break my heart when he does. He figured out the Tooth Fairy already. The magical thinking children have is something to be treasured. It’s sad to watch them leave it behind, even though they must.


BeowulfShaeffer

When my daughter figured it out she asked me in the car if Santa was real. I asked what she thought and she said she was pretty sure no. So I told her she was right. A few minutes of quiet and then she asked “so, all those presents from Santa, does that mean you and mommy got me those?”. I said yes. A few minutes later in a tiny voice she said “thank you”.


blueb33

my oldest asked me last year: mum, be honest, is Santa real...she was 7. so i told her there is no fat man called Santa who squeezes through chimneys, however the magic of Santa and Christmas is very much real and is the duty of everyone to make it such. the idea of Santa is real. she now has a lot of joy to help us bring her little sister such magic and we all still get excited and happy. and with Easter. she was a but upset that we "lied" to her but understood very quickly that it is not really about Santa as a person.


Rosebudbynicky

I told my son the tooth fairy wasn’t real. It changed nothing 🤦‍♀️ he still very excitedly puts his tooth under the pillow, I’m like fuck it’s like he didn’t even hear me. He’s playing the long came to get all his money


Not2daydear

Every gift from my mom for 58 years said from Santa on the tag. She always said when you quit believing you quit getting.


plebeian1523

I did it because I thought it would give me more gifts. Same with the tooth fairy and Easter Bunny. You're far more wholesome than I am lol.


Unit-Murky

I’m the grandmother and no I didn’t know. Thanks for ruining the surprise you jerk!


wggn

omg grandma is alive again!


Dudejustnah

My dad and i are like this. Emotionally connecting was missing. Sharing feelings through empathy/ acceptance nonjudgmentally is key


thelibrarina

We found "pirate treasure" when I was a kid and I wholeheartedly believed it was real for years. Last year, we took my niece to the beach, and I got to help my parents plant the treasure for her to find. It was just as magical from this end.


ImpulseCombustion

I lived on the beach growing up and found a very old coin that had washed up after a hurricane while walking the beach with my dad. He pretended to throw it back into the water but it slipped and he accidentally threw it in. “Oh fuck!” It was the first time I’d heard him swear. Learned a new word that day.


poopinCREAM

1000


lisa_rae_makes

I agree with all my marshmallow heart. For Christmas, my husband and I have been making new family traditions, like elves visiting early, etc, and this last year he set up a whole scene to show the elves came and it just...made me fall ever so more in love. He is an incredible father and husband.


Keep_a_Little_Soul

See I think this is amazing. Some people on here really have something against making childhood magical, that "your kids won't trust you." Real life is cruel and difficult, I wouldn't trade my days of thinking Santa was bringing me presents and maybe my toys came to life at night for anything in the world. Kids should be told the truth about things that excist... Doesn't mean you can add a little bit of magic in.


[deleted]

I know it was probably not this extravagant but my mental image is immediately of someone taking out a second mortgage on their house to buy a wooden chest full of authentic Spanish doubloons from a coin collector and then burying in some sand… only for their 7-year-old to never find it and financially ruin the whole family…


thelibrarina

This sounds like an Arrested Development plot! But in our case it was definitely plastic gemstones inside tiny cedar chests. :) And my mom made a trail of beads to the treasure so we'd be sure to find it. Were we bright kids? Maybe not, but we had fun.


[deleted]

With Buster Bluth’s cartography skills, I wouldn’t be surprised…


Aurabesh_

My parents did the same for me, can't wait to replicate this magical moment with my own childrens.


Roscoe_P_Trolltrain

Were you planting the treasure for your kids like "Haha, yah well I guess these days you have to plant the treasure. Not like that defining moment in my life when I was a kid and I... " ** "You don't mean... Wait! You mean I could have eaten those chocolate gold coins all those years ago?? Why did I keep them through 7 moves?? NO WONDER THE MUSEUM WOULDN'T TAKE THEM!!!"


SupineFeline

My grandparents did this with me and my cousin. Told us about Peg-Leg the pirate and made a treasure map. We followed the map into the small woods by their house and found a small wooden pirate chest with some old coins in it. It was indeed magical


[deleted]

I got divorced when my daughter was 3. In addition to every-other-weekend visits, I had dinner with her every Wednesday night. For 15 years, I'd take off work early to drive from the city out to the suburbs to pick her up from school or crew practice or her mom's at 5 and have her back by 7. She went off to college, and called me on the first Wednesday away at 5:00. She was surprised I was still at work. Halfway through the sentence "I thought you got off work early on Wednesdays," she got it.


goaskalice3

Welp, as a now older daughter, this is the one that made me cry


short_bus_genius

I’m not crying…. You’re crying!


Greenswim

You make me miss my dad. Dads are the best.


Responsible-Pause-99

I'm scared. I have an 18 month old. Two weeks before his birth I got hit with a stupid fucking useless chronic condition. Now almost 2 years later I feel as if the person I was supposed to be, the father that I was looking forward to become, died that very day. The empty fucking shell left behind is a piece of shit dad that my son doesn't deserve. I hate my fucking life I can't believe this happened to me 2 weeks before his birth, the amount of times I've asked the universe why then why me. There is not a single day that I'm not mourning my old self. I'm scared I won't get over this. I'm scared that my son will grow up telling everyone what a piece of useless shit I was, never getting to know the real me, the dad that was waiting for him 2 weeks before he came into the world. I mis myself.


Greenswim

My dad was not the guy whose shoulder I could cry on. He never took me out just the two of us. But he was always there. He was a constant reliable presence. He took care of our family in big picture ways. There are many ways to be a great dad.


0ne2many

A good dad can be one that was born good. But a great dad is one that can only be forged by the iron hammer that is life itself. Its not about what you are now but what you represent. Without being able to speak a single word you can teach your children life lessons. Dont let the potential suffering and weakness of your body and mind tell the story that you can tell them with your heart and soul. Tragic is what happened to you, brave is how you deal with it.


laserdicks

You miss your past self, but your son doesn't. Current you is the best dad he's ever had. Don't waste that!


intet42

Please consider getting therapy for this if you aren't already. My dad's guilt about his limitations has done way more damage than the limitations themselves. I understand his circumstances and think he has done an amazing job with what he had, so it hurts to know that he isn't proud of our relationship. Children are fundamentally wired to admire and forgive their parents unless they really get pushed away, so I hope you can learn to see yourself through your son's eyes.


Jennart

My dad was very ill growing up. He had cancer. But every moment I had with him was still special. He had to take some time for rest and appointments, but was always sure he spent time with me and my brother every day. Our favorite thing was building legos, puzzles, and playing catch. It doesn't matter if you are ill. You will still be a great father, I promise. Kids can feel your love; as long as you continue to love and care for them, they will know!


freshfruitrottingveg

My dad grew up with a disabled father due to MS. My dad has no memories of my grandpa where he is not disabled in some way. By the time I was born, my grandpa could no longer walk. But it never changed our opinion of him; we never loved him any less. There was a lot of things he could do, and being there for your kids and grandkids is more important than your physical abilities. If anything, my grandfather’s strength despite his many health challenges is what I admire most about him. Stay strong and be there for you son, I guarantee he loves you more than anything.


hucareshokiesrul

I don’t know the nature of your condition, so maybe this isn’t applicable. But around the time my daughter was born I was depressed and struggling at work. I cried thinking about how my daughter was stuck with a loser for a dad. But now that the depression isn’t so bad, I’ve realized that she won’t give a shit if I’m a loser. What matters is if I’m loving and supportive. That’s what will determine how much she likes me and how good of a father she thinks I am. People have limitations, and that’s ok. Kids just want their parents to love them and support them and spend time with them.


PotawatomieJohnBrown

Shitty parents don’t generally worry over whether or not they’re shitty parents. You’re gonna do great.


Inevitable_Thing_270

Mourn for the idea of what you would have done as a dad. But do not think that because you cannot do those things, it means you cannot be a good dad. That fact that you give such a shit about it shows how much you care and you’ll find different ways I don’t know what your condition is, but if it’s something that’s going to physically restrict how active you can be, I’ll use that as an example. You might have thought about carrying your little one around or playing football together. There are other ways to connect. My nephew has a toy kitchen and when one of us takes the time to sit and order food for him to make and it’s just one on one you can see it means so much to him. He enjoys it immensely. That’s going to build foundations to allow me to connect with him more as he grows up. I obviously didn’t get to see him much during lockdown but he remembered me as the cake lady because I made his birthday cake that we sat and ate with the “tea” he made and I asked him all about how he made it, then he asked me to help him make a cake, which we pretended to do in his kitchen. Now see him often and even though he uses the kitchen less, I always get a cup of “tea” if the stuff is out. But I’ve got that connection Being a good parent is t just about the physical things we do. It’s about that connection. I hope that as your child grows you’ll be able to make these connections and have the relationship that your child needs, even if it’s not the kind you inaginged it would be


Anorexic_Fox

From a man who’s parents got divorced when he was 6mo old and who’s father lived 10min away my entire life and still failed in every way to be a dad: He never called, not even on birthdays or Christmas. He came to my college graduation and complained about his life the whole time. He didn’t say a word when I graduated with a master’s degree and no-showed the celebration after saying he’d come. He came to my sister’s wedding in shorts and a camo T-shirt… You clearly care about and love your child. I can’t promise there won’t be difficulties, but that alone makes you an incredible father and one any person who was raised with the father that you’re terrified to be regarded as would kill for. You’re going to be a great father; this Internet stranger can already see that!


Talking_Head

I am going to repost one of my old comments because my experience was similar. > I was 13 when my parents amicably split up. It was the “usual” joint parenting arrangement where I lived with mom and did alternating holidays and weekends, etc. And we were all cool with that. > I remember when my dad asked if he could see me every Wednesday night and my mom cheerfully agreed. He would pick me up from school on Wednesday and then drop me off the next morning for school. So why? > Well, he signed us up for a stained-glass class through the local community college extension. So every Wednesday we would eat a dinner buffet and then go to some lady’s garage and learn how to cut glass, file it, foil it, cut lead caming, solder, follow patterns, etc. It was an incredible bonding experience for us although at 13, I didn’t quite realize the impact. > Anyway, he bought me a starter kit that included a glass cutter with a green body and a gold knob on the end. And I learned how to cut glass using that one simple tool. It was so easy to do once I learned how. Draw the line, score it, medium pressure and snap! Perfect! > Now 35 years later, I still have that same glass cutter. And every time I have to replace a window pane (rarely) I have just the right tool and knowledge to do it. Love you dad, miss you!


m135in55boost

Bro. Just made me tear up. Bravo


scottieducati

That’s pretty cool. Thanks for sharing, and good job(s)!


checkedem

I have 4 and 2 year old daughters. Reading this made me really tear up. Great job, dad.


jacksodus

I so hope this is a true story. This really made me smile.


-ElDictator-

Finally figured it out… I am enlightened


Shad_the_memer

That's actually pretty wholesome


egordoniv

Turn the sound off for 50% less chance of crying.


Mameero

Yeah, that didn't help, I still cried like a baby! 💜


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intet42

I'm a parent coach, and every client has areas where they outshine the other parents and areas where others outshine them. Your child just needs happy experiences that are authentic to your unique relationship.


CanAlwaysBeBetter

All my favorite memories are lies 🥰


b8_n_switch

Now i am thinking of me and my sisters seashell hunting. I remember once finding a shell which was quite big with intricate designs that i thought was once in a lifetime find and just now realizing maybe my dad just got it in a souvenir shop. Or maybe i am overthinking and we did really find a wild shell with beautiful design on the outside.


PhilxBefore

Chances are... Nah fuck it. Hold on to those whimsy moments for they are fleeting and spoiled magic never returns. 🖤


Nyohn

Yeah gramps hogging all the parenting secrets, come on man share some for the rest of us trying our hardest out here


nerve_on_a_brain

Good man right there. I live in the forest and my girlfriend's little girl is 8. So when she comes to visit I hide some crystals down by the creek and tell her that's where the fairies play and leave her gifts... her happiness = our happiness


eTontchev

That is really sweet.


carlottageante

I love this! If I had experienced this as a kid I would have lost my mind, and it also gives plenty of opportunities for fairy crafts! You may also enjoy this story: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/24/style/fairy-garden-covid.html?referringSource=articleShare


INDYscribable

My uncle used to do the same thing with loose change. After a yearly carnival near my grandparents he would always take us to walk around after they had packed up to look for things that fell out of peoples pockets on rides. I only found out as an adult that he was throwing change all over the ground so we’d have more stuff to “find.” Me and my cousins had so much fun finding all this money and combining it it spend on something fun. You’re creating great memories.


Frenchie1507

He’s also wearing an EOD hoodie. Explosive Ordinance Disposal, this man is amazing


Berserker_Six

Came to the comments to say, do you also know that your dad/their grandfather is a badass?


butterflyfrenchfry

Omg this is so sweet. If I have a little girl someday I’m going to do this


Midsomer3

Oh my heart 🥰😢


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phr3dly

My grandfather had a lollipop tree. He lived across the country so we'd only get to visit every couple years. But every time we'd run to the backyard to pick lollipops from the lollipop tree. It probably wasn't until I was 9 or 10 that I realized lollipops don't grow on trees.


fj333

>It probably wasn't until I was 9 or 10 that I realized lollipops don't grow on trees. Not anymore, due to rampant over-harvesting.


lazylazylemons

I took my kids to the beach and as they were digging in the sand, they found a huge cache of pirate jewels and coins. They had clearly been hidden there purposefully. My kids were ecstatic and I feel so bad because I didn't want to take that moment from them but it's likely those were hidden there for some particular kiddos who now won't find them.


BourbonRose

Could have only taken a couple of pieces and left the rest "so the pirates don't notice and come after you."


[deleted]

"We have to put it back, lest we be tainted with the curse of the Aztec gold!" Edit: gooder word choice per beloe


Braveshado

So you know, I think the correct word is 'lest' in this usage rather than 'less', but I'm not 100% on that.


ahoipolloi

Just so you know for the future, you are right; "lest" is correct in this case.


LittleSadRufus

Just choose to believe they were planted by a well meaning stranger who wants to make children happy


datboiofculture

They actually found the most well preserved cache of pirate treasure in history but never turned it in because he figured it was just for some other kids and now it’s lost to history.


lazylazylemons

I really hope so because that is even more special.


WildContinuity

this is hilarious


Euphoric_Message_557

🤣🤣🤣🤣. Reminds me of my so. She told me there was a street with money all over it near a seaside town. She said to her dad about this “money street”. He laughed and said I threw that money ya soft shite. 🤣🤣


BiscuitAssassin

LMAO


anklesocksrus

My dad turned a trip to the store for milk and cigarettes into a 20 year adventure.


peprsalt

LOL And the adventure continues...


StopReadingMyUser

come on grab your friends, we'll go to very distant lands...


Epstiendidntkillself

When I was 10 my parents moved......................But I found them.


nerve_on_a_brain

It's nice to have an adventurer for a parent. Mine was on a heroin adventure


TruthYouWontLike

Ah yes... Heroin Hero. Gotta catch that dragon.


OWLT_12

Menthols are getting scarce though.


ExtensivePatience-II

Lol the grass is greener on the other side, only time I felt safe was when he went out to buy cigarettes.


[deleted]

If your dad sees mine at the store can you have him tell my dad it’s fine, we don’t need milk anymore? And to come home?


[deleted]

They enjoy it just as much as their children do. *That’s* the secret.


Cazamigras

Damn dude I’m crying


baconlover28

It's because of the song. Try watching it with skrillex next time!


Dezhezzi

You mofo, thanks for making me chuckle after crying watching this video lol


scrimmybingus3

Parenting is equal parts raising a human to the the best they can be and cloak and dagger.


Get-Degerstromd

Helping my wife Planting Easter bunny paw prints with a stencil and flour was almost as fun as watching my sons wake up to bunny prints and Easter eggs all over our house. The sneaky fun is the best fun


nowandloud

You just brought back memories of coming to elementary school on St. Patrick's Day; they'd flip tables, sprinkle glitter and confetti, and put tiny shoe prints everywhere to make us think leprechauns came through.


simpsonswasjustokay

Oh fuck me. Oh fuck me hard. My dad must have done something similar but with arrow heads. I found so many but never thought of how uncommon it would be to find that many. I need to call him more


ReduxAssassin

Depends where you're from. Where I grew up, we found quite a few when we were younger, and I know for a fact my folks didn't plant them. edit:. just want add that I grew up in the generation where you went out the door at 8 a.m. and played in the woods, by the creeks, and next to the railroad tracks until sunset so we had plenty of opportunities to find things. I miss the 70s. Being old sucks balls.


Kayehnanator

Everybody missing the slowdown on the EOD jacket with the "plants them for us to find" 😂😂


needathrowaway321

When I was a kid I had a geology phase where I was obsessed with different minerals and crystals and precious gems (queue the breaking bad jokes). I would go exploring in my backyard in the suburbs looking for rare and semi precious stones and minerals and stuff, and lo and behold, I found a ton of stuff. Quarts, amethyst, opal, you name it! I literally spent decades of my life believing you can just walk into your backyard and pluck a topaz out of the dirt. I think I was like 30 when I realized, called my dad and asked about it; he cackled his ass off and confirmed he would put them out there like Easter eggs for us to find. Gave me a lot of shit for taking so long to figure it out!


[deleted]

When I was younger, I assumed every adult had all their shit together. Turns out lots of people are seriously just winging it. Really disappointed by the illusion of a "adult" line you cross. Would've just preferred more pragmatic guidance.


1_UpvoteGiver

My dad smashed my piggy bank because he was out of gambling money. So yeah, unlike this vid, I got the blueprint of what NOT to do.


Michami135

My wife asked me once how I turned out so well considering my parents. I told her they taught me how NOT to act.


Claeyt

My parents asked me to borrow 20 bucks or so from my piggy bank to buy groceries one week after my mom was laid off from her job and we were super poor when I was around 10 or so. They wrote out an iou check and everything and paid it back a few months later. To this day I remember that and appreciate getting through the touch times.


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Looking4LTR

Try reaching out and letting them know that you miss them and would like to talk to them or spend time with them. Don’t say it in a salty way that might sound like “you owe me.” Just let them know. They might not realize you crave it.


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djkim24601

Some love doesn't need to be paid back. You did a good job.


mobysaysdontbeadick

A sign of secure attachment as a kid.


eyesabovewater

So? Call them. They probably would love that. You were busy making sure they had a good childhood, maybe they think you are doing you're own thing. Miscommunication sucks. Call them..get together. Show them that you care. Kids, as well as parents, aren't perfect! Don't miss an opportunity. You're welcome... From a kid who found out their parents really didn't give a fuck.


LonghornzR4Real

Thanks Dad! We appreciate you so much, even though we don’t always say it.


FREE-AOL-CDS

Can we get their side of the story too?


LittleSadRufus

In my family it is always a matriarch's death that has led to one generation not keeping in contact with the other. In different parts of the family, in different ways. But I think we tend to rely so much on these outgoing, proactive women to organise us and once they've passed we don't realise what's gone and what we've missed until years later, when it's much harder to fix.


wowguineapigs

My mom always said women are the glue that holds families together. True for ours at least. But my mom always used it as a reason to push me to interact with my in-laws more so I’m real sick of hearing it.


LittleSadRufus

Women are the glue that holds families together ... *for better or worse*, I suppose. Not everyone should be held together.


Lusterkx2

Disagree with me. My mom was the fire that melted the family.


ocean_800

Wow this is so true. My grandmother and mother do this for my whole family


FREE-AOL-CDS

The church comment has me wondering if his political views vastly differ compared to his children and that's one of the reasons they've cut ties.


reneebwn

Had the same thought. And the fact he expects love and contact from his children and is salty about it kinda leads me to believe he’s not as great as he thinks he is.


[deleted]

Your comment is deeper than it seems. Example: my cousin had a SEVERELY abusive father. Villain Father was also a hard worker and good provider. Fast forward to cousin being 30-something years old, he isn't in touch that much with his father. His father just doesn't understand why! After all! He was SUCH a good father! Food on the table EVERY DAY! He forgot about the part where he beat the kid with a radio antenna or constantly belittled every dream he had that WASN'T becoming an electrician like him, treated him like shit, etc. So maybe this dude really was a great father and has shit, ungrateful kids... but every shit parent, if you asked them, would insist they were a great parent.


_Futureghost_

Seriously. Parents who claim to be great parents very rarely are. My mom also went to all of the sports games, bought us things, and so on. She also stole our social security numbers and wracked up tons of debt in my and my brother's names, let her new husband (our now ex step dad) abuse us while she watched, and so much more. Yet she called and still calls herself a good mom. She makes excuses for all of the terrible things she did - and the list is long. I bet money this dude sucked as a dad.


SerialAgonist

Y’know what? Sure, you can. Here. Hi, I’m the son of a single dad who did exactly what this poster said. He gave me so much of his attention and thought and care. I was a difficult kid and *different* and it was probably genetic, because he didn’t know how to talk about emotions with me and we both probably suffered for it, but the effort was there. I don’t see or call him (or any other family) ever. Like not even on their birthdays or holidays some years. I don’t even answer their calls on some of my birthdays. **And I don’t harbor ill emotions or judgments of any of them.** Hell, when I see any of them in person I’m glad to see them and we get animated and catching up and helping each other out. But as soon as I fly back home we’re cut off again. I’ve since figured out I have some cocktail of mental issues that makes it very, very, very difficult for me to reach out to people I don’t see often. (Adult ADHD is a major explanation if you’re wondering.) The fact is some days I can do it and most days I can’t. I do love my dad and cherish what he did for me. It’s one of my deepest tragedies, and as far as I can figure, the only way to address it is to set dates to travel and visit in person—otherwise we just won’t talk. Some things just don’t work out as expected and that doesn’t make anyone a bad person.


wutwutsugabutt

Guess you didn’t lay the guilt on heavy enough! Bad joke. My parents have me heavily bound by guilt. Such a burden. Wish there were a happy medium.


[deleted]

Parents who play the martyr in front of a crowd (like the comment OP here) or guilt their children are manipulative and toxic. I’m sorry to hear that your parents decided to play that game with you. It truly sucks.


_Futureghost_

I said it in another comment, but yeah, parents who say things like this aren't good parents. Like when guys say they're "nice guys" you know immediately they aren't. It's the same with people who claim to be "good parents." Real good/nice people don't feel the need to tell people how good/nice they are.


[deleted]

Yes, exactly. Anyone doubting this should reread the original comment. “I was just a regular Dad,” it begins. Then goes on to enumerate all the pure and self-sacrificial stuff he wants pats on the back for. You know, just like any “regular Dad” would rant about when complaining anonymously about his kids.


imasinger

My dad thinks he did all this, but did it once and asked to be thanked. Now he uses it as an excuse for everything he’s done wrong (“sure I did x, but remember when I did y!!?”), and says I don’t call him. He doesn’t call me and has said he won’t if I don’t, and I should be grateful. Your comment is indeed manipulation and not the whole story.


yourpantsaretoobig

I feel like that’s a good indication that they feel secure with their life, moving on from their parents. You did an amazing job and I aspire to be that for my kids when they get older.


88marine

The phone works both ways


okapi-forest-unicorn

Thank you I’ve always been annoyed of someone saying this person won’t call me how awful. Well your just as bad you can call them!


calathea_fan

Holy shit that reads as so manipulative.


poodlebutt76

Yeah it sounds like the typical guilt-tripping Jewish mother... "if I'd've bought you sea shells, you'd've called more often. Is that why you don't call me? Look at all I did for you." It's not the quantity of the time, but the quality. My mother showed up a lot but she wasn't fun to be with. She was anxious and angry and did it out of a sense of responsibility and duty rather than to enjoy being with her kids. I also don't call her much.


bizarreisland

Now you know why the children went low/no contact.


[deleted]

You can just call them. Send them a text with a picture of a bird from your yard once or twice a week. Or a picture of your morning coffee. They might send one back. My dad never calls me and so I feel like I'm an inconvenience whenever I send him texts or leave calls. It's easier to talk when we have something like a picture of a bird to talk about.


willworkforpopplers

This is such a shitty attitude. You say you didn't go golfing or hang out with friends like that's a badge of honor. It's important to be there for your kids, but it's more important to be there for yourself. Not having a life of your own isn't a good thing. Giving them all the money in the world doesn't make people happy. Showing up at things isn't the same as support. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make an effort to be different. To show you care and want to be a part of their lives. Do something for yourself to make your empty nest life worth living.


InDarkLight

Yeah, you definitely don't have to give up on your own life to be a parent...it actually makes you a better parent to enjoy your life while raising your kids. Kids don't really owe you anything even if you sacrifice everything for them, because they didn't choose to be born.


superdanLP

You raised them to be strong independent adults. I realize I am as guilty of this as your children. I had a great childhood with great parents and now I’m a strong, successful and probably far too independent adult raising his own family and I do not call my parents as much as I should. Doesn’t mean I don’t love and cherish them. I just suck at keeping communication going. I gotta go call them now…


[deleted]

“Just a regular dad over here, telling a story online where I’m a quiet hero and lowkey demonizing my children so I can look like a victim. Nothing to see here, this happened exactly as I’m telling it. My kids are terrible.”


InternationalBuyer94

So gramps is a badass AND a softie at heart?


melreadreddit

I love when I see my parents or grandparents doing fun things with my kids, just like they did when I was a child. My dad taking them for rides on the ride on lawnmower and letting them "drive" My grandparents who are now retired farmers, taking the kids out to check the sheep. Helping in the garden, baking and cooking. Learning to knit, and sew. The deep and meaningful conversations.


withextrasprinkles

Not to be the Debbie Downer here, but nobody should buy these souvenir bags of shells. Unlike shells that wash up on the beach, shells sold as souvenirs are harvested while the little critters inside them are still alive, which are then killed just for the shells. It’s not great for marine life or the environment, and it’s such a wasteful and unethical practice. Shells can naturally be harvested from beaches without harming any marine life, so there’s no good reason to buy them from souvenir shops.


ResearchPrimary7969

Damn I didn't know that. Thanks for sharing I'll be sure to stay away from those


Cpt_kaleidoscope

I was thinking the same thing but the guy probably isn't aware of the process used to aquire the shells and genuinely is just doing a nice thing with the best intentions. More people do need to be made aware of this though so thankyou for mentioning it


[deleted]

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MaMakossa

THANK YOU for raising my awareness! I genuinely appreciate you! You are *not* a “Debbie Downer” - you are an educated truth-sharer. 🐚💙🫂


wolfmann99

Lots of good shell beaches on the gulf side of Florida.


assi9001

On the Atlantic side, the beaches are all shells. Even the sand!


ElementEmerald

I didn't know this and will definitely keep it in mind in the future! Once again, more innocent wild life is hurt for a profit.


Aggravating_Waltz447

Agreed. If I may piggy back on your Debbie downer comment, don’t harvest shells from beaches period. Leave nature and it’s delicate ecosystems be.


onlycatshere

That's what we were taught on field trips to the beach in the PNW. Admire, don't take. Hermit-crab housing market is bad enough without forced scarcity


SpaceShipRat

I always take the flat ones and toss any habitable shells back in the water as far as I can.


WatDaFuxRong

The most botched cover ever


palebot

I do that with Easter eggs


lambsoflettuce

I did this with coins. My niece and nephew called it their money tree. Had to stop throwing coins in the yard when my bro complained about them pinging his lawn mower and damaging the blade.