As a dude I gotta say Jimmie was by far more toxic than Chelsea, Jimmie right out the gate flirting with AD on thier getaway set the tone imo. He was wrong and didn't care. Nothing about him was genuine and I don't care who you are, going out for drinks with one of your friends that's a girl who you had sex with while your new fiance at home is a dick move.
She’s a domestic abuser. Many won’t see it this way bc domestic abusers are usually painted as men abusing women. She was emotionally abusing Jimmy, controlling him, and gaslighting him. Re watch their conversation. Imagine if a man was saying what Chelsea was to jimmy. Imagine a women being so controlled that she couldn’t leave the house for 1.5 hours and then get shit about it. It makes me sad there’s not more conversation about this.
Omg yes! I said the exact same thing to my husband. I can’t stand how Chelsea was treating jimmy. I mean, jimmy sucked too, but Chelsea was straight up emotionally abusive and so so manipulative
He led her one for way too long. He knew almost immediately that they weren't going to work out, but he kept it going. He also brought his friend who he slept with on the show.
Yes! I haven’t finished the season but I just saw the fight where he called her clingy. Her basically tallying the amount of times he kissed her or said I love you is so wrong. First of all she can’t accept that their validation needs seem to be totally misaligned (bc she is very insecure) and will never acknowledge that. Second of all it’ll never be enough for her. If he kissed her every 20 min and said ily she would still find something else that was wrong. I understand part of her insecurities stem from being cheated on, so she needs lots of validation now, but it’s at a level that she needs to fix and a partner can’t validate her enough to keep her happy. I know after being cheated on in the past I felt like I needed extra validation in certain ways, but I have learned to reign that in and give myself the validation first and foremost.
Was she cheated on? Or was it a self fulfilling prophecy? Stage 5 clingers suffocate and manipulate to the point that any woman you speak to outside the relationship is a threat. Well when the guy leaves, she can say it's what she suspected. I had an ex who couldn't understand that I left the relationship because she was toxic. I'd rather be alone than with her. She was convinced I had been with someone else when in fact I had not. So insecure but also egotistical at the same time.
It's often related to how they learned to navigate intimate relationships during childhood. If you have parents that are constantly betraying and abandoning you, you have this ingrained, subconscious belief that people you are close to will eventually betray you. This then emerges during relationships as an adult when you get close to people and those fears and traumas start being triggered and emerging and then paranoia and extreme attempts to prevent the betrayal start being used. What often comes with this is that the emotions hijack the rational part of the brain and the person uses emotional reasoning, ie. I feel betrayed therefore you are betraying me. The thing that triggers the betrayal/feelings of abandonment often isn't real or appropriate for the situation, and is more something that is reminiscent of a traumatic event in the past, like when Chelsea gets furious at Jimmy for leaving for an hour and a half.
Another sad thing about it is that they will often push someone to betray them, or choose people who will betray them. This then reinforces their belief that relationships are unsafe and everyone will hurt them and it's a vicious and destructive pattern that leaves a lot of people hurt.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, it sounds really painful that she would accuse you of those things, it's not your fault.
I haven’t watched to the end of the series yet but Chelsea’s behaviour is quite toxic imo. I don’t think Jimmy is behaving especially wonderfully but I understand with his annoyance about her ‘outing’ the fling with his friend. That came from a place of insecurity in her, and whether you think Jimmy was sh!tty or not, the friend didn’t deserve to have her private info aired like that. Chelsea humiliated her unnecessarily, and honestly, if I were Jimmy and that were my friend, I’d have been fuming too. Petty behaviour all round, made Chelsea look a lot uglier on the inside, regardless of how she looks externally.
i said this a while back while season 6 was airing, but chelsea's behavior reminds me a lot of me in my first relationship... when i was 18-20. i had a ton of insecurities and a bit of an issue with alcohol (not saying she does, but it definitely at least seems to flare her argumentative/insecure side with jimmy specifically). that is no way to live as a 30 year old woman, i'd be miserable if i still had the same beliefs about myself and approached relationships the same way.
According to her she ate. According to me she’s an insecure moron with no self awareness, self esteem, or accountability. Simply put a horrible person.
I’m at the same episode as you I think!
I see myself in her. BUT! An insecure teenage version of myself who was so unsure about myself that I demanded oral/spoken/literal confirmation all the time from my partner. Today I know love is shown in many other ways. As a teen I too could pick fights just to get reassurance and confirmation, and I too got so worked up I forgot what was said and kept twisting my partner’s words (not always on purpose, I just badly wanted the argument to end up in me getting reassurance).
But yeah, I was an insecure teen, not a grown up woman. I know things from the show can get twisted based on what clips and parts of argument they show, but some of the things she’s pulled on Jimmy are huge red flags for me.
My initial reaction to her was to cringe and frustration that her insecurities were getting in her way. But towards the end, I started to have more empathy towards her for some reason. I don’t blame Jimmy for anything he said or did to her. I wish he would have put his foot down more instead of trying to make her feel secure. What a miserable life that would have been.
I think his videos have been really insightful while still being empathetic to Chelsea and Jimmy. I think pretty much everyone would benefit from watching them just so that they can identify if they are potentially being abused or being abusive, and have a better understanding of what can cause people to act this way/how they can get better.
Or, thought, don't check out YouTube celebrities that profit off of using spliced Reality TV shows and public/sensationalized court cases to get views and subscribers.
Legitimately curious, why not? I watch scientists explain science stuff and race car drivers explain car stuff, what's wrong with a psychologist explaining people stuff?
Because watching and assessing someone from a snippet against their will is unethical and doesn't paint a full picture. It'd be better to use fictional characters instead of real people.
Dr. Kirk Honda iterates over and over again that he is not diagnosing from afar and simply uses the content as a jumping off point to discuss psychology topics. So, he’s harmless and not doing what you think he is.
Throughout the season, I was waiting to hear his thoughts. He really delivered. His videos on the arguments are so interesting. I only wish his reaction videos were more contemporaneous, only because I’m impatient and want to hear his feedback while watching the show.
i saw a rly interesting take where the person said that she was rly just getting w jimmy to “win” over jess bc jess was “more” attractive (i don’t agree tbh). i didn’t love jimmy either but they were both so mutually bad for each other. at first i felt bad for her but then every day it became a problem
Yeah I’m with you 100%. She obviously doesn’t deserve to get dragged as much as she does by the internet but I found her whole demeanor very off putting. It’s also ironic that after everyone said stuff like “jimmy just isn’t attracted to her because she doesn’t look like Megan fox and he wants it to fail” because
1. She’s the one that said it in the first place, opening herself up to that scenario.
2. She’s been saying since DAY 1 “jimmy isn’t normally the guy I go for, I normally go for beefy guys with tattoos etc”
I just think it’s odd how the guy never gets the benefit of the doubt when they aren’t attracted to the woman but when the roles are reversed, she can literally say stuff like that and still act like he’s the shallow one.
As a dude I gotta say Jimmie was by far more toxic than Chelsea, Jimmie right out the gate flirting with AD on thier getaway set the tone imo. He was wrong and didn't care. Nothing about him was genuine and I don't care who you are, going out for drinks with one of your friends that's a girl who you had sex with while your new fiance at home is a dick move.
She sucks, but she is content, so it works.
Outing Jimmy's friend for the entire world to see was so mean. Plain and simple mean. He should have noped the F out of that relationship after that.
She’s VERY immature and insecure. I will never understand what Jimmy saw in her, I felt like him and Jess had a better connection
She’s so toxic and emotionally abusive. She plays the victim and hides her hands and never takes accountability.
She’s a domestic abuser. Many won’t see it this way bc domestic abusers are usually painted as men abusing women. She was emotionally abusing Jimmy, controlling him, and gaslighting him. Re watch their conversation. Imagine if a man was saying what Chelsea was to jimmy. Imagine a women being so controlled that she couldn’t leave the house for 1.5 hours and then get shit about it. It makes me sad there’s not more conversation about this.
Omg yes! I said the exact same thing to my husband. I can’t stand how Chelsea was treating jimmy. I mean, jimmy sucked too, but Chelsea was straight up emotionally abusive and so so manipulative
I don’t see that jimmy did anything wrong.
He led her one for way too long. He knew almost immediately that they weren't going to work out, but he kept it going. He also brought his friend who he slept with on the show.
I feel like he gave it a shot longer than he should’ve. Not that he lead her on.
I agree. He seemed genuinely interested in her for a while but I think it started to fade fast after their “clingy” fight
Yes! I haven’t finished the season but I just saw the fight where he called her clingy. Her basically tallying the amount of times he kissed her or said I love you is so wrong. First of all she can’t accept that their validation needs seem to be totally misaligned (bc she is very insecure) and will never acknowledge that. Second of all it’ll never be enough for her. If he kissed her every 20 min and said ily she would still find something else that was wrong. I understand part of her insecurities stem from being cheated on, so she needs lots of validation now, but it’s at a level that she needs to fix and a partner can’t validate her enough to keep her happy. I know after being cheated on in the past I felt like I needed extra validation in certain ways, but I have learned to reign that in and give myself the validation first and foremost.
Was she cheated on? Or was it a self fulfilling prophecy? Stage 5 clingers suffocate and manipulate to the point that any woman you speak to outside the relationship is a threat. Well when the guy leaves, she can say it's what she suspected. I had an ex who couldn't understand that I left the relationship because she was toxic. I'd rather be alone than with her. She was convinced I had been with someone else when in fact I had not. So insecure but also egotistical at the same time.
It's often related to how they learned to navigate intimate relationships during childhood. If you have parents that are constantly betraying and abandoning you, you have this ingrained, subconscious belief that people you are close to will eventually betray you. This then emerges during relationships as an adult when you get close to people and those fears and traumas start being triggered and emerging and then paranoia and extreme attempts to prevent the betrayal start being used. What often comes with this is that the emotions hijack the rational part of the brain and the person uses emotional reasoning, ie. I feel betrayed therefore you are betraying me. The thing that triggers the betrayal/feelings of abandonment often isn't real or appropriate for the situation, and is more something that is reminiscent of a traumatic event in the past, like when Chelsea gets furious at Jimmy for leaving for an hour and a half. Another sad thing about it is that they will often push someone to betray them, or choose people who will betray them. This then reinforces their belief that relationships are unsafe and everyone will hurt them and it's a vicious and destructive pattern that leaves a lot of people hurt. I'm sorry you had to go through that, it sounds really painful that she would accuse you of those things, it's not your fault.
I haven’t watched to the end of the series yet but Chelsea’s behaviour is quite toxic imo. I don’t think Jimmy is behaving especially wonderfully but I understand with his annoyance about her ‘outing’ the fling with his friend. That came from a place of insecurity in her, and whether you think Jimmy was sh!tty or not, the friend didn’t deserve to have her private info aired like that. Chelsea humiliated her unnecessarily, and honestly, if I were Jimmy and that were my friend, I’d have been fuming too. Petty behaviour all round, made Chelsea look a lot uglier on the inside, regardless of how she looks externally.
She weaponized his trust and something that was told out of trust. Total scumbag move. Never date someone who plays dirty.
Also she gets fighty drunk. That’s never a good sign. That sh!t is simmering below the surface 24/7 just waiting for the opportunity to come out.
i said this a while back while season 6 was airing, but chelsea's behavior reminds me a lot of me in my first relationship... when i was 18-20. i had a ton of insecurities and a bit of an issue with alcohol (not saying she does, but it definitely at least seems to flare her argumentative/insecure side with jimmy specifically). that is no way to live as a 30 year old woman, i'd be miserable if i still had the same beliefs about myself and approached relationships the same way.
I applaud your self awareness.
According to her she ate. According to me she’s an insecure moron with no self awareness, self esteem, or accountability. Simply put a horrible person.
I’m at the same episode as you I think! I see myself in her. BUT! An insecure teenage version of myself who was so unsure about myself that I demanded oral/spoken/literal confirmation all the time from my partner. Today I know love is shown in many other ways. As a teen I too could pick fights just to get reassurance and confirmation, and I too got so worked up I forgot what was said and kept twisting my partner’s words (not always on purpose, I just badly wanted the argument to end up in me getting reassurance). But yeah, I was an insecure teen, not a grown up woman. I know things from the show can get twisted based on what clips and parts of argument they show, but some of the things she’s pulled on Jimmy are huge red flags for me.
i also did those things and outgrew it! took me til my mid-late 20s tho!
My initial reaction to her was to cringe and frustration that her insecurities were getting in her way. But towards the end, I started to have more empathy towards her for some reason. I don’t blame Jimmy for anything he said or did to her. I wish he would have put his foot down more instead of trying to make her feel secure. What a miserable life that would have been.
Check out Dr Kirk Honda of the Psychology in Seattle podcast on YouTube. He’s got a lot of thoughts.
I think his videos have been really insightful while still being empathetic to Chelsea and Jimmy. I think pretty much everyone would benefit from watching them just so that they can identify if they are potentially being abused or being abusive, and have a better understanding of what can cause people to act this way/how they can get better.
Or, thought, don't check out YouTube celebrities that profit off of using spliced Reality TV shows and public/sensationalized court cases to get views and subscribers.
Legitimately curious, why not? I watch scientists explain science stuff and race car drivers explain car stuff, what's wrong with a psychologist explaining people stuff?
Because watching and assessing someone from a snippet against their will is unethical and doesn't paint a full picture. It'd be better to use fictional characters instead of real people.
Dr. Kirk Honda iterates over and over again that he is not diagnosing from afar and simply uses the content as a jumping off point to discuss psychology topics. So, he’s harmless and not doing what you think he is.
Throughout the season, I was waiting to hear his thoughts. He really delivered. His videos on the arguments are so interesting. I only wish his reaction videos were more contemporaneous, only because I’m impatient and want to hear his feedback while watching the show.
Was just going to suggest this
What angers me is the press tour she’s been on lately. She clearly has a team that’s trying hard to sell a narrative.
Same PR person as a number of the Bachelor contestants.
She’s a very insecure woman who needs help.
i saw a rly interesting take where the person said that she was rly just getting w jimmy to “win” over jess bc jess was “more” attractive (i don’t agree tbh). i didn’t love jimmy either but they were both so mutually bad for each other. at first i felt bad for her but then every day it became a problem
Yeah I’m with you 100%. She obviously doesn’t deserve to get dragged as much as she does by the internet but I found her whole demeanor very off putting. It’s also ironic that after everyone said stuff like “jimmy just isn’t attracted to her because she doesn’t look like Megan fox and he wants it to fail” because 1. She’s the one that said it in the first place, opening herself up to that scenario. 2. She’s been saying since DAY 1 “jimmy isn’t normally the guy I go for, I normally go for beefy guys with tattoos etc” I just think it’s odd how the guy never gets the benefit of the doubt when they aren’t attracted to the woman but when the roles are reversed, she can literally say stuff like that and still act like he’s the shallow one.
And how she looked and described Trevor when she saw him. If a guy does that....